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unpeumacabre · 3 years

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soaring dragon dancing phoenix - 龙飞凤舞: chapter one

Yunmeng is no longer home for Wei Wuxian, for he is no longer welcome. And so when he visits he can always count on Jiang Cheng descending upon his head with the full strength of heaven's fury, to chase him out. But one day when he sneaks into Yunmeng again, days go by without Jiang Cheng making an appearance. Something has happened to Wei Wuxian's prickly shi-di, something that - once they reunite - they will find is far greater than they could ever have anticipated. Accompanied also by Wei Wuxian's dear friend (?) Lan Zhan and a Lan Xichen who has only just reluctantly left isolation, the four of them set out on a journey that will bring them across the greater part of China to the mystical Kunlun mountains of mythology - and more importantly, may bring them love, healing, and reconciliation.

If only Wei Wuxian could take his head out of his oblivious arse and start putting himself in other people's shoes for once...

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Wangxian, Xicheng, Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng

Read on AO3 (bc tumblr might mess up the formatting + more extensive author’s notes on the story)

Count: 8k

<- previous

Wei Wuxian woke in darkness, and it was a darkness he did not recognise.

He sat up, groaning as the movement jarred his bones and made him ache in places he’d not known existed. There was something clouding his thoughts, draining his energy; after a few moments wherein he tried to get his bearings, he sensed the presence of a suppressing array designed to repress spiritual energy and sap his strength.

It was not a man-made array. Instead, it had the hallmarks of something far more ancient and terrible.

The amount of resentful energy in the air was so thick that he almost choked on it. In fact, if not for the suppressing array, he would have had trouble stopping the energy from churning through his body and sending him into a state of backlash.

As he stumbled to his feet, there was a crunch underfoot. Something sharp poked into his hand as he steadied himself against the ground. He felt for the object, and as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realised he had stepped on and broken the jaw bone of a skull.

“Ah – “ reflexively he recoiled. Then he relaxed as he realised it was likely the skull of a deer.

As he blinked and looked about the room, slowly things came into focus. First he saw around him walls made of dark, dank stone. There was a sour, mossy smell in the air; the air felt thick with moisture, and he wrinkled his nose in response. His head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton, and there was a faint ringing in his ears, likely from the blow to his head he’d received to knock him out before he’d been dragged into this chamber.

“At least whatever took me left me mostly intact,” he muttered to himself, fishing a talisman out of his robes and lighting it with a brief spark of spiritual energy.

He looked down, and realised that the floor was littered with more bones – animal bones, human bones, and unidentifiable shards which were coated in a thin layer of something shiny. When he nudged one of the fragments, it made a squishing noise under his foot, and Wei Wuxian instantly regretted his curiosity.

This must be the lair of the human-eating monster, he thought to himself, and this is where it chucks the remnants of its meals…it must have deemed Mo Xuanyu too skinny and underfed to be worthwhile fare, and tossed me in here for storage instead. It’s not my fault his isn’t a body which builds muscle easily! Why, if I only had my old body…

As he continued to stew indignantly over the monster’s disrespect of his physique, he returned his gaze to the walls, and suddenly realised that there was a passageway carved into the wall, leading into the next room. With one last glance around the chamber he was currently occupying, he deemed there to be little else of note therein, and trotted over to the aperture in the wall.

As he walked cautiously through the passageway, feeling his way with his hands and trying not to cringe at the thin layer of sticky moisture which gathered on his palms, suddenly the corridor opened out into a large chamber. More bones crunched under his feet, and now he found he had to pick his way carefully across the floor without falling over.

Abruptly the faint light from his talisman revealed a purple-clad body on the ground, and Wei Wuxian tripped.

Thankfully, he caught himself before he managed to fall on the body, and once he had regained his balance, he squatted over the body and squinted balefully at the face of the unfortunate person.

Jiang Cheng?! Wei Wuxian exclaimed mentally. What luck!

- Or, lack thereof, depending on how you looked at it. It was supremely lucky that he’d managed to find Jiang Cheng – alive, judging from the steady shallow rise and fall of his chest – and with all limbs and his head still firmly attached. But also supremely unlucky in the sense that they were now alone in a room with both their spiritual energy severely depleted, and without other Yunmeng Jiang sect members/Lan Zhan as buffers.

“Oh well. The rice is now cooked; what’s done is done, and there’s no way around it,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I’ll just have to deal with his bad temper when he wakes up.”

Wei Wuxian leant over Jiang Cheng and scanned his body. There were faint lines on his temples where dried blood had trickled down from a wound on his head, similar to that on Wei Wuxian’s own forehead, but there didn’t seem to be much lasting damage. His spiritual energy was worryingly low, however, and it could barely be felt through his pulse point. Hurriedly, Wei Wuxian yanked open the collar of his robe and undergarments and placed his hand against his chest.

Thankfully, the thrumming of his spiritual energy was still present – very faint and weak, but still there.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING,” Jiang Cheng said weakly.

“Aaaahhh!” Wei Wuxian yelped, falling backwards and dropping the talisman. They stared at each other for a moment.

“Why are you the one yelling? I’m the one who woke up to being groped by a goddamn cut-sleeve!” Jiang Cheng shouted, albeit a bit feebly.

“Even when you’re half-dead you’re still so noisy,” Wei Wuxian said peevishly. “I was just checking your golden core! As if I’d want to touch you. Gross. And I’m not a cut-sleeve,” he added quickly.

Jiang Cheng ignored him, lifting himself up on his elbows and attempting to get onto his feet. He slapped away Wei Wuxian’s outstretched hand and managed to hobble upright on his own.

“My golden core,” he said suddenly, and looked up at Wei Wuxian with wild eyes. “I can barely feel it. And my senses feel dulled. I can’t think properly. What the hell’s happened to me?!”

“There’s a suppressing array in place,” Wei Wuxian answered. “Can’t you feel it? It’s suppressing your spiritual energy and sapping your strength.”

“Why don’t you seem affected then?” Jiang Cheng said, his tone mildly accusatory.

Wei Wuxian paused. “I don’t have a golden core, remember. And I’ve gone so long without one, I suppose it’s easier to get used to operating on lower spiritual energy.”

He kept his tone breezy and light, but even he felt that it was slightly over-played. Jiang Cheng’s jaw clenched and he turned away.

Wei Wuxian sighed. “Come on, Jiang Cheng,” he tried. “You know it doesn’t matter to me anymore. It’s an old wound, and I was the one who chose to give it up anyway. It wasn’t your fault at all.”

When Jiang Cheng turned back, there was so much guilt and anger in his eyes, Wei Wuxian found he could no longer stand it. He broke their gaze and looked around instead.

“We’re going to need weapons for defence,” he said, thinking out loud. “Spiritual weapons won’t work, since you’re low on spiritual energy, so Sandu and Zidian are out. Oh, how about this!” and he skipped over to the corner of the room, where a bunch of corpses were haphazardly piled on top of each other, covered in sparse cobwebs. A giant hairy spider crawled out of one of the skulls’ mouths and scuttled sideways into the shadows.

From their garb, the bodies had apparently been farmers or fishermen, and accordingly, there were various tools scattered on the ground next to them. Wei Wuxian picked up a few of the items and scrutinised them.

“Here, Jiang Cheng!” he called, and held them out. “Hoe, spade, pitchfork; time to play farmer for the day! Take your pick?”

Jiang Cheng grabbed the pitchfork without looking, his eyes trained on their surroundings and scanning the walls with what little light from the talisman remained. He clenched his fist, and Zidian crackled weakly, but otherwise there was no response, as expected.

“What do you remember before you were knocked out?” he said finally. “How did you find me here?”

Wei Wuxian was relieved to find that Jiang Cheng’s demeanour was back to normal.

He dropped the tools carelessly. “Hmm… I’ve been in Yunmeng for a while, and I went to – I met some Yunmeng Jiang disciples in Yunmeng and they told me you’d taken a group of your cultivators to the area outside the city where there had been a monster causing trouble and eating humans,” he said. “Since you’d been gone for quite a while, I figured it might be an interesting monster, so I came to have a look. I found the entrance to a cave in the area the disciples mentioned, but just as I entered, something knocked me out. Though I didn’t see what.”

“It was the same for me.” Jiang Cheng’s brow darkened, and his jaw clenched. “We must find the Yunmeng Jiang cultivators who came with me – whether they be dead or alive.”

Wei Wuxian nodded grimly. “I came from another room in which there were also many bones and remnants of clothing. There must be other rooms in which they may be found.”

They made their way sombrely through the various passageways and tunnels into other rooms which also reeked of dampness and decay. One by one, they found the distinctive bright purple robes of the Yunmeng Jiang disciples, covering bodies with the flesh only recently gnawed off the bones. For all of them, Jiang Cheng knelt by their sides and covered their bones with their robes, and arranged their remains tidily as best he could.

As he stood up from the side of the last corpse of the Yunmeng Jiang cultivators who’d accompanied him on his night hunt, his eyes were red with unshed tears. Wei Wuxian tactfully remained silent as Jiang Cheng took a few moments more to compose himself.

“We should get out and find reinforcements,” Wei Wuxian said at last, when Jiang Cheng’s colour had returned, and his grip on Sandu’s handle had loosened.

At Wei Wuxian’s words, he stiffened, and said suddenly, “What about the monster? It’s somewhere in here causing havoc. Who knows how many more people will killed in the time it takes for us to get back to Lotus Pier and fetch more people to help?”

“Our spiritual energy is so diminished, and we don’t have any useful weapons on us,” Wei Wuxian answered exasperatedly. “With this suppressing array in place, what damage can we possibly do to the monster?”

“Even if we bring reinforcements, they’ll be hit by the suppressing array too,” Jiang Cheng said stubbornly

“This creature is clearly a dangerous one, if our experiences have taught us anything, and one not to be taken lightly. We won’t be able to do much to it!” Wei Wuxian protested.

“Didn’t you kill the Xuanwu even while starved for three days, and heavily injured?” Jiang Cheng rebutted angrily. “Are you saying I’m not as competent as Lan Wangji?”

When Jiang Cheng was like this, it was difficult to deal with him. Wei Wuxian let his exasperation get the better of him. “Fine! Have it your way then!” he snapped. “For the record, I still think we’re going to our death. But since you’re being so pig-headed about it, we might as well try and find the monster and do what damage we can before we end up dying.”

They walked for a bit in a stony silence. The talisman, previously already on its last embers, soon shrivelled away into nothingness. Wei Wuxian wordlessly fished another yellow sheet from his robes and lit their way once more.

In the few moments in which darkness had reigned, Jiang Cheng’s expression had changed.

He quickly schooled it back to his familiar frown, however, and Wei Wuxian would have thought it a trick of the light, if he had not seen it plain as day.

“At least… let’s at least scope out the terrain so we know it better,” Jiang Cheng muttered, with a curious scraping noise, as if he were grinding his teeth. “Then we’ll know it better the second time when we come back with reinforcements.”

“… Are you feeling alright?” Wei Wuxian asked cautiously, with concern. “You don’t have a fever, do you? Why are you agreeing with me all of a sudden?”

“Shut up! Don’t make me change my mind!” Jiang Cheng said huffily, and walked a little bit faster.

Now I remember why Jin Ling’s princess-like temper seemed so familiar, Wei Wuxian thought to himself. He’s a carbon copy of Jiang Cheng as a child! No wonder, what with the way Jiang Cheng raises him.

Of course he would never dare to say such a thing to Jiang Cheng’s face, so they continued ambling on in more silence. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks.

“What is it?”

“I can sense something different,” Wei Wuxian said, turning his head from side to side as he attempted to trace the thing which had caught his attention. He closed his eyes and focused his mind.

It took him much concentration and mental capacity, but finally he sensed what had distracted him – a tendril of energy which differed from the constant thrum of resentful energy that threatened to overwhelm him at every step, the latter which likely came from the multiple corpses that they had left behind in the previous rooms. This new energy felt more similar to the force that sustained the suppressing array, but at the same time, curiously unlike. Wei Wuxian tilted his head to the side as he tried to sort out the tangled coils of energy in the air, into a more coherent map.

“I think I can sense the spiritual energy of the monster,” he said, after a few moments. “That is, if this creature is indeed the one that set up the suppressing array. Following its energy should lead us to its location.”

“There’s such a thick cloud of resentful energy. You can tell the monster’s energy apart?” Jiang Cheng asked in disbelief.

“Master of Demonic Cultivation, remember?” Wei Wuxian said, mustering up a grin. “I lived and breathed resentful energy for a while before I, er, before the siege on the Yiling Mounds.” He rushed on quickly before Jiang Cheng could become maudlin again. “It’s nothing to me, to tell apart different sources of resentful energy.”

“I’ve never before heard of a beast that was able to cast a suppressing array,” Jiang Cheng said, thankfully too preoccupied with the matter at hand to be easily distracted by talk of the past. “It must be a human-like monster then – but no, those were clearly the marks of an animal’s teeth on the bodies of my cultivators.”

Wei Wuxian nodded. “My line of thinking was the same as yours. I don’t think this thing is purely beast-like nor human-like, and it’s probably a mix of both, such that it’s able to cast a suppressing array, and yet attack people with such ferocity and strength. We’ll have to trace the energy to its source to find out.”

With a grunt of acknowledgement from Jiang Cheng in response, they continued trudging on in a firm, painful silence. This was a foreign concept to Wei Wuxian; even in his time with Lan Zhan, that taciturn rock of a man, he’d been able to fill the void between them with his aimless chatter and the playing of Chenqing. But something between him and Jiang Cheng still felt too raw, too new and vulnerable, to risk damaging with his usual frivolous antics.

This is so awkward, Wei Wuxian thought. Should I make the first move? But he might yell at me again. Hang on, since when have I been so afraid of Jiang Cheng’s scoldings? Anyway, what would I even ask him? ‘How are the lotuses doing in Lotus Pier?’ Um, no…

Surprisingly, however, Jiang Cheng was the first to break the silence.

“How – ahem. How is Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure he’d heard him right at first, but as he looked at Jiang Cheng incredulously, the question forming on his lips, Jiang Cheng flushed, and looked away.

“Oh! Er, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked, loudly to cover up both their discomfort. “I haven’t seen him in a while. He’s Chief Cultivator, you know! Isn’t that amazing?”

Jiang Cheng muttered something that sounded suspiciously like I’m the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader, of course I know who the fucking Chief Cultivator is, but then he harrumphed and cleared his throat. Wei Wuxian magnanimously decided to let him off and pretend he hadn’t heard anything.

“I thought you two were inseparable?” Jiang Cheng asked, darting a sideways glance at Wei Wuxian. “And yet you haven’t seen him for a while?”

For some reason, that particular question grated at Wei Wuxian’s skin, and the light of the talisman flickered in response to his annoyance. “Well, he’s busy,” he said airily, “and… and I’ll see him soon. I’m sure of it. As if he could go a day without my presence!”

“He seems to be getting on perfectly fine without you,” Jiang Cheng pointed out, detestably reasonable as always.

“With Lan Zhan’s poker face, how can you tell?” Wei Wuxian returned quickly. This time it was he who walked a little faster, just to be spiteful, and just because he could.

“You look like you’ve been tramping through the wilderness,” Jiang Cheng said, abruptly switching the subject.

“I’ve just been living wild for a while. You know, living off the land, eating only fruits and berries, surviving by my abundance of wits as usual…”

“Hah!” Jiang Cheng snorted. It was not a nice snort, Wei Wuxian thought crossly, and in retaliation, he decided not to respond.

Jiang Cheng finally spoke up again, after a long while in which Wei Wuxian had been distracting himself with thoughts of a new classification system for demons of the five elements. “We’ve been going in circles!” he said, and his tone bridled with frustration. “I recognise that rock formation over there. I caught my hand on it earlier – look, my blood is still fresh on the stone.”

Wei Wuxian looked at the rock, and indeed, Jiang Cheng’s blood still glistened on its surface. He wondered how he could have gotten so completely turned around – hadn’t he just been following the tendril of malevolent energy? He could’ve sworn he’d felt it getting stronger, too, which should have meant that they were nearing its source. How was it that they’d ended up circling back to where they’d started?

“I thought we were following the energy from the creature,” Jiang Cheng said irritably.

“Shhh,” Wei Wuxian said, not paying attention to him. “There’s something else at work here. Something I’m not getting.”

Surprisingly, Jiang Cheng quieted down, and leaned against the wall. He did so surreptitiously, as if to escape Wei Wuxian’s sight, but of course he noticed.

Jiang Cheng must be more drained than I thought, Wei Wuxian thought, if he’s stopped arguing with me. Especially since he’s been here for a few days more than me already, and with no food or water. I must find a way to get us out of here - and quickly.

He mustered what little spiritual energy he had left, and focused. In his mind he pushed aside the suppressing fog that clouded his thoughts and distracted his attention, concentrating only on sensing the pulses of energy emanating from every wall in the passageway around him. There was the faint tendril of energy from the creature responsible for the suppressing array, yes, and overwhelming amounts of resentful energy pouring from the corpses of the creature’s meals, and underneath it all… underneath all that energy…

“There’s a maze array in place,” he realised suddenly, his voice echoing in the stillness of the corridor. “It’s cleverly buried under the other layers of energy in this cave, but it’s there. It must have been cast a long time ago, for I could barely sense its presence. And it was not cast by the creature maintaining the suppressing array.”

“That’s what’s confusing your sense of direction?” Jiang Cheng asked despairingly. “Then how are we supposed to get out of here with little spiritual energy and our only lead a complete dead end?”

Wei Wuxian shook his head, mustering a small smile. “Don’t lose hope so easily, Jiang Cheng! We’ll find a way out. We just need a way to overcome the maze array – then we can follow the creature’s malevolent energy without being confused. We just need some way of maintaining our sense of direction.”

“What do you suggest we do? Is there any way to track our steps, perhaps?” Jiang Cheng said.

Wei Wuxian tapped idly at the side of his nose as he thought, pacing back and forth in the confined space. Jiang Cheng’s eyes, lit up by the flickering light of the paper talisman, followed him back and forth.

“I could cast a tracking spell… no, but with my depleted spiritual energy, that wouldn’t last long… I have the Compass of Evil which I worked on to improve last week, but this creature doesn’t consume souls, and so it wouldn’t work… Oh?”

The unravelling hem of his ratty travelling robe had snagged on a shard of rock protruding out of the wall, and had caused him to pause in his steps. Wei Wuxian stared down at the little loop of thread curled around the stone protrusion.

Suddenly, an epiphany came upon him.

“I have an idea!” he said, excitedly, and began picking apart the hem of his robe. Jiang Cheng lifted himself off the wall and came over to inspect what he was doing.

“What’s that supposed to do?” he asked sceptically. “Is it just another excuse for you to go naked again? Oi, just because it’s just me down here with you - ”

“It was one time, and I was eight,” Wei Wuxian said exasperatedly, “and don’t tell me you’d never seen a penis before that! I don’t know why you had to act like a blushing maiden and try to stab me with your brush. We’re both men, aren’t we? Nothing you haven’t seen before!”

While he’d been going on, and Jiang Cheng had started spluttering and turning interesting colours, he’d managed to unpick the thread from his robe, and tied it around a sturdy stalagmite on the ground. He gave the limestone pillar a few experimental pulls, and it didn’t budge.

“Now we just have to follow the thread, and we’ll know which routes we’ve walked, and which routes we haven’t!” he said brightly, as he straightened up.

“That’s… actually a good idea,” Jiang Cheng said grudgingly, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at the stalagmite.

“I always have good ideas. Don’t you know?” Wei Wuxian said, grinning. “Come on, let’s hurry. I don’t know how many days have passed, but surely it’s been too long already. We should quickly find the monster’s hideout and then figure out a way to escape.”

It was indeed a good idea, if Wei Wuxian said so himself (and he did, multiple times, very smugly, so much so that Jiang Cheng started ignoring him again), and with its aid, they managed to find their way out of the maze of corridors that surrounded the rooms containing the corpses. Wei Wuxian heaved a sigh of relief as he finally felt the thick fog of resentful energy that had been giving him a massive headache, fade away into the background and eventually disappear.

Now, the passageways they walked were a little less damp, and a little less foul-smelling. There were even lamps embedded in the wall, unlit and covered with cobwebs, but obviously made by a talented craftsman. Wei Wuxian stopped to inspect one of them, and the style of its carvings and the technique of its forging marked it as a craft belonging to the dynasty of six centuries ago.

“Whatever inhabits this cave must be ancient indeed,” Jiang Cheng said grimly, as Wei Wuxian shared this insight with him.

They stopped abruptly as a carven wooden door appeared beside them, looming out of the darkness, leading into an enclave that branched off from the main tunnel.

The frame of the door extended high above their visible range, and as Wei Wuxian guided the talisman as far up as he dared without losing his tenuous hold on the charm, they realised just how large the tunnel was beginning to run. All they could see above them was darkness, and there was no observable ceiling. They exchanged glances, and with a mutual nod of acknowledgement, Jiang Cheng placed his palm on the door and pushed firmly.

It creaked open with a loud sound of protest. The noise made both of them wince and glance around sharply to see if the clamour had attracted any undue attention. But thankfully, even after a few moments of silence, they were still alone in the tunnel, with no foes in sight. Jiang Cheng pushed the door open all the way, and they peered into the darkness cautiously.

“It’s a library - !” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, his voice hushed, as the talisman floated into the room and lit up shelves upon shelves of crumbling, decaying books and scrolls. Jiang Cheng scanned the titles, trying to make out the words on their spines.

“Vegetarian Dietary Principles,” Jiang Cheng read out, “Journey to the West, Classic of Poetry, Classic – Classic of – Music?”

Wei Wuxian expelled a surprised breath and shook his head. “Whoever owned this library must have been a great patron of the arts - he’s even managed to acquire books which no one’s ever had a copy of before! It’s a collection to rival even that of the Gusu Lan library. But such a valuable hoard would usually be maintained zealously by its collector, not left to rot away in such a sorry state.”

The talisman settled on a pile of objects arranged neatly in the corner of the library, and Wei Wuxian felt his brows shoot up even further.

“A guqin, guzheng, pipa, dihu, yangqin – truly an impressive collection of instruments from all across China!” he said admiringly. “They’ve been left to gather dust as well, and they haven’t been maintained in a while. Things are becoming curiouser and curiouser indeed.”

“Perhaps the owner of the collection was eaten by the monster,” Jiang Cheng suggested.

“Perhaps,” Wei Wuxian said doubtfully. I feel that there’s something here we’re still not getting…

They left the library behind, unable to see much in the darkness and with their limited light source. Wei Wuxian had to light another talisman, for the previous one flickered and shrivelled to dust. Just as he did, his stomach let out a loud sound of dissatisfaction, and he automatically pressed a hand to his abdomen.

“I’m hungryyyyyy,” he whined. “Jiang Cheng, do you have any food?”

“Stop talking nonsense,” Jiang Cheng retorted sharply. “If I’d had any food, I’d long since have eaten it up already!”

“Ugh,” Wei Wuxian groaned, leaning dramatically forward as they walked. “I’m going to die of hunger. Who knows how many days and nights we’ve spent in here! It’s not like you have a set sleep schedule so we can count the days. We’ve probably been walking for a few days without rest already – and who knows how much longer it’ll take to get out.”

He felt his coat slip off his shoulder, and he looked down at it. Because of the unravelling string, his already-raggedy outerwear was falling apart, and it no longer resembled anything coat-like. Wei Wuxian shrugged it off and tucked it under his right arm, and was left only in his underthings.

“I feel the wind blowing through places I didn’t know existed,” he complained, shivering.

Jiang Cheng looked at him and immediately averted his eyes, a dull flush colouring his cheeks. “Shameless!” he spluttered. “What wind?! There’s barely any wind, we’re underground! Wei Wuxian, you’re truly shameless as always!”

“Now you’re starting to sound like the old Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian muttered under his breath. “One of him is good enough, thank you very much…”

Suddenly, there was an ear-splitting crash, and it was only their quick reflexes that caused them not to be buried under a large column of rocks that suddenly came pouring down on them. Both of them leapt to the side, and stared, bug-eyed, at the spot in which they had been standing just moments ago.

“Agh, my eyes,” said Jiang Cheng loudly, as the fog from the avalanche cleared, and piercing sunlight shone down on them from the large hole which had suddenly opened up in the ceiling of the tunnel, far above them. Wei Wuxian shielded his eyes with his hand and squinted blearily up at the hole.

…

“LAN ZHAN!!!!” he cried out happily, as he made eye contact with a very dear, familiar figure. Lan Zhan peered imperiously down at them, the sunlight making it seem as though his head was glowing.

“Speak of Cao Cao and Cao Cao will arrive,” Wei Wuxian said, bouncing excitedly up and down on the spot. “Didn’t I tell you Lan Zhan could be counted on to rescue us?* Huh? He’s reliable, isn’t he?”

*A/N: (he didn’t)

“Did you really have to invoke his name?” Jiang Cheng said grumpily, following his gaze upwards. “I always feel like he’s looking down on me, but now he’s actually literally looking down on me.”

Another figure appeared beside Lan Zhan and peeked cautiously over the edge of the hole. After squinting for a while more, Wei Wuxian realised it was Lan Xichen.

“Are you two alright?” Lan Xichen called down to them, his gentle voice filled with concern. “I’m afraid we went a little, ah, overboard in trying to get down to you two…”

“We’re fine, Zewu-jun, thanks for your concern!” Wei Wuxian hollered back up at them. “Won’t you come down and join us? We’re depleted of spiritual energy and unable to join you up there!”

Lan Zhan immediately flew down, but the moment he alighted and laid his eyes on Wei Wuxian, his finely-sculpted eyebrows shot up towards to his forehead.

“What – what happened to your outer robe?” he said, sounding faintly strangled.

“Oh – this? I used the string from my hem to track our progress through this cave,” Wei Wuxian replied cheerily. “There’s a maze array in place, although it’s quite difficult to detect, and with our limited spiritual energy there wasn’t any other way to stop ourselves getting lost. Jiang Cheng will tell you it was quite a clever idea. It must have been quite cold outside, Lan Zhan, your ears are turning pink! Here, rub your hands together…”

Jiang Cheng, predictably, ignored him and lifted his hands in a salute to Lan Xichen, who’d descended as well to join them. “Sect Leader Lan,” he said formally, and Lan Xichen returned the gesture. Jiang Cheng turned to Lan Zhan and repeated the gesture, a little more unwillingly.

“Here, take this,” Lan Zhan said, pulling a qiankun pouch out from his sleeve. Sticking his hand inside the pouch, he drew out an overcoat with the designs of the Gusu Lan sect and placed it securely around Wei Wuxian’s shoulders.

Wei Wuxian whistled in surprise and appreciation. “Lan Zhan, you came prepared! It’s one of your robes, isn’t it?” A thought occurred to him which made him laugh out loud in pure delight. “Ooh, Lan Zhan, are you embarrassed by my lack of clothing? You know I’m shameless, I don’t mind even if I’m just parading around in my underwear or even if I’m stark naked.”

“As you can tell, Hanguang-jun, he’s doing perfectly fine,” Jiang Cheng said acrimoniously. “The days of starvation and lack of spiritual energy haven’t done anything to dampen his personality.”

Wei Wuxian pouted. “Lan Zhan knows that,” he replied peevishly. “We killed the Xuanwu together under the same circumstances, remember?”

A soft laugh from the side reminded him of Lan Xichen’s presence, and he spun around to face him.

“Sect Leader Lan, what’re you doing here?” Wei Wuxian asked curiously. “I thought you were in seclusion. What brings you here?”

Lan Xichen smiled. “I was in seclusion, but Wangji came to me today and told me of your and Sect Leader Jiang’s disappearance. He was quite distressed by the news, and asked me for help to track the two of you down. And when I heard that A-Yao – that Jin Guangyao had been seen in the area…”

He hesitated, and said no more. None of them pressed him further.

“How did you manage to find us?” Jiang Cheng asked quickly, directing his question at Lan Zhan.

“Jin Ling wrote to me when he found that you were missing,” Lan Zhan answered. “We followed your trail to this place. And I could sense Wei Ying’s energy coming from here, so we entered here.”

“You could sense my energy?” Wei Wuxian asked, bewildered by this new turn of events. “But – how? Plus the suppressing array – “

“Where is the human-eating monster?” Lan Zhan asked abruptly, cutting him off. “Have you already killed it?”

After a pause, Wei Wuxian shook his head, and relayed the events of the past few days to them. It turned out that Jiang Cheng had been missing for nine days, and Wei Wuxian for three – that explains why Jiang Cheng looks so exhausted, he thought to himself; nine days without food or drink will do that to you.

Lan Xichen passed them water in a flask and two bags filled with baozi, steamed buns, which Jiang Cheng immediately started scarfing down ravenously. Lan Zhan took the other bag and held up the flask to Wei Wuxian’s mouth.

“Drink,” he said softly. One of his hands came up behind Wei Wuxian’s back to steady him.

Wei Wuxian drank obediently, thinking, I am so loved.

When he finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Lan Zhan immediately fished one of the baozi out of the bag and held it up for Wei Wuxian to take a bite. The meat inside the bun tasted truly delicious to his starved palate, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting out little ‘mm’s of enjoyment as he chewed.

Only when Wei Wuxian had finished munching on the baozi did Lan Zhan exhale and relax, although his hand still remained on Wei Wuxian’s lower back.

“Thanks, Lan Zhan,” he said, smiling widely. Something about Lan Zhan’s presence always left him feeling refreshed. “I knew I could count on you. You’re such a reliable friend. No wonder you’re the Chief Cultivator, indeed!”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Jiang Cheng said indistinctly, and Wei Wuxian whipped around to look at him.

(If he was being perfectly honest, he’d forgotten Jiang Cheng – and Lan Xichen – were there.)

The two of them were staring openly at him and Lan Zhan, the bag of baozi dangling loosely from Jiang Cheng’s hand and Jiang Cheng’s cheeks still stuffed with bites of baozi so that he looked like a squirrel. Lan Xichen’s smile looked like it had ossified on his face.

“What?” Wei Wuxian said in confusion. He looked at Lan Zhan for reassurance that he wasn’t the only one bewildered in this situation, but Lan Zhan seemed to be trying to do something with his face, alternately widening and squinting his eyes at the two other people.

Lan Xichen coughed. “Never – never mind, Young Master Wei,” he said, his smile back on his face, although now it looked a little bit forced. “If you’ve finished your meal, we should proceed with your original plan to find the human-eating monster. Wangji and I have spent only a few moments in this cave, but already I can feel the effects of the suppressing array. Wangji, you feel it too?”

Lan Zhan inclined his head, his face back to its usual expressionlessness. “It was not cast by a human,” he replied. “The energy is different. Staying here longer than necessary will result in full depletion of our spiritual energy.” He materialised his guqin and played a few complicated sounding notes. Blue light flared as he cast the pathfinding spell, and it formed a faint line on the ground showing the direction in which they were to go.

“We must hurry,” he said brusquely, “or my energy will fail and the spell will disappear.”

“Got it,” Wei Wuxian said, nodding decisively, feeling much more comfortable and at ease now that he was no longer alone with Jiang Cheng, and Lan Zhan was here at his side. As they walked, Wei Wuxian filled the silence with his usual chatter, speculating about the origins of the creature and how it could possibly have cast a suppressing array, interrupted only by Lan Zhan’s ‘mm’s of acknowledgment and the occasional offered insight.

If he was speaking a little louder than usual, it was only because he could feel the supreme awkwardness radiating off the two sect leaders walking behind them. It wasn’t coming off Lan Xichen, no – Wei Wuxian had previously turned around surreptitiously to check on the two of them and Lan Xichen had looked perfectly at ease and his usual composed self. Rather, it was Jiang Cheng who was blatantly trying to avoid everyone’s gaze, and who’d answered Lan Xichen’s initial attempts at conversations with curt, albeit polite, rejoinders.

That’s strange, Wei Wuxian mused to himself, as he chattered on to Lan Zhan about his theories regarding whether or not beasts had souls akin to that of humans, Jiang Cheng’s used to silence and isn’t often fazed. I wonder if something happened between him and Zewu-jun? Or maybe he’s just tired. Or maybe he feels left out of the conversation between me and Lan Zhan? But that’s not my fault! He’s the one being all grumpy and crabby. I mean, I know things aren’t exactly back to normal between us, but I’d thought after the Guanyin Temple events he’d started to hate me a little bit less…

“We’re here,” Lan Zhan said, stopping abruptly, as the faint blue line on the ground ended and they were faced with a large door.

This was different from the door that had led into the library, for it was carved out of granite and not wood, and gems were embedded deep into the stone in a pattern that radiated out from the centre, where two large knockers were located. The faces of two door gods glared at them out of the darkness, painted as they were on either panel of the door.

It must have been a glorious sight, Wei Wuxian thought to himself, when the lamps had been lit. But now the gems only gleamed dully in the limited light from the talisman, and the paint of the door gods was chipped and peeling. Now their stares looked mournful, rather than stern and majestic, as they would have been before.

Words were carved into the upper frame of the door, large, sombre characters in ancient text. They looked as if they had been etched into the stone by a great claw, the edges of the words were still clear and relatively unchipped by time.

“Cave of… Cave of Dormancy?” Wei Wuxian read with some difficulty, for he had not practised reading ancient scripts to any significant extent.

“There is a great well of yang energy beyond this door,” Lan Xichen said from behind them, his voice almost awestruck. Wei Wuxian concurred. As they had been following the path indicated by Lan Zhan’s pathfinding spell, he too had felt the presence of a boundless amount of yang energy emanating from some unseen force, that now apparently lay behind this door.

Even in his weakened state, it felt ponderous and overpowering; he could not imagine what it felt like for Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen, whose reserves of energy were mostly intact. True to his thoughts, Lan Zhan staggered slightly, and the blue line on the ground faded. Wei Wuxian dropped the ratty overcoat tucked under his arm, and steadied him with a hand on his elbows.

The faint crackle of Zidian echoed throughout the space as Jiang Cheng clenched his fist, and he strode forward, placing his palm on the handle of the door.

“Sect Leader Jiang, we must be cautious,” Lan Xichen said, and in his gentle voice it did not sound like a rebuke. Jiang Cheng spared him a sideways glance, then nodded shortly. It took the both of them to push the heavy doors open, and Lan Zhan levered himself out of Wei Wuxian’s grasp to peer carefully into the chamber.

It was the light that hit them first, and blinded them.

Jiang Cheng grunted in surprise and cast his head away, for he had been the first one to gain entrance to the chamber. Wei Wuxian pushed his way forward and squinted into the blinding light.

Once his eyes had stopped metaphorically bleeding, he made out lamps on the walls, larger than the ones in the passageways, and this time, these were lit, with a curious iridescent flame that flickered and danced even though there was no wind.

As his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he began to make out more features of the room. It was a vast chamber, with the ceiling towering high above them, and every panel of the walls inlaid with gold and jade. Golden dragons snarled motionlessly at them from the corners of the room, their presumably-once-gleaming surfaces now flecked with dirt. Two thrones sat at the far end of the room – which was more like a hall – one enormous and golden, the other slightly smaller and carved in jade. A thin layer of dust covered every single object and surface in the room.

Except for the centre of the chamber, a shining golden pedestal, upon which lay a great slumbering long.

There was a sharp intake of breath from behind Wei Wuxian from Lan Zhan that told him he’d noticed the long as well. Very slowly, not daring to take even a single breath, Wei Wuxian stepped backwards and back into the passageway.

Once he was no longer in the hall, he spun around, his eyes open so wide he felt they were about to fall out of his skull.

“It’s a Shenlong. A heavenly dragon,” he hissed frantically. “The nine resemblances were present: the stag’s horns, the camel’s head, the demon’s eyes, the snake’s neck, the clam’s belly, the carp’s scales, the tiger’s paws, the cow’s ears, and most distinctive of the Shenlong, out of all the types of long – the eagle’s claws, of which there were five on each foot.”

Jiang Cheng’s were equally wide. “Is it… is it the real thing?” he managed. “Or is it a deformed copy, like the Xuanwu of Slaughter you and Lan Wangji fought?”

“He is a true Shenlong,” Lan Xichen spoke, and there was a subtle tremor in his voice. “He had the chimu atop its head, without which he may not ascend to the heavens.”

“That explains how he was able to cast the suppressing array, and the non-human aura of his energy, given that a Shenlong is a fully sentient being and not merely a mindless beast. But what’s he doing down here, though?” Wei Wuxian wondered aloud. “A Shenlong belongs in the heavens or in the body of water he governs, not under the ground where he has no access to the water which sustains him.”

Lan Xichen shook his head, his gaze equally uncomprehending. “Before we left the chamber, I observed that there were large lacquer panels on the walls with accompanying text, which likely depicted the Shenlong and his story,” he said quietly. “I did not get a close enough look at the words, however. But there is one thing beyond doubt – this Shenlong is unlike his more benevolent peers, and is responsible for the disappearances of the people of Yunmeng. We must find a way to observe both the Shenlong and the panels on the walls, which may give us a clue as to how to combat him.”

“According to the stories, it has superior sight and smell,” Lan Zhan spoke up. “It will be difficult to evade its notice.”

“It did not notice us when we first entered, however, and we were rather noisy,” Jiang Cheng said. “If we are careful, we should be fine.”

Given that none of them saw any other way to proceed, it was on that note of caution that they entered the chamber once again. Wei Wuxian kept his eyes firmly trained on the Shenlong, but even as they eased themselves slowly past the door and into the room, he did not wake. The lines of his magnificent, serpentine body rose and fell in tandem with his breaths, and the silky tendrils of his beard fluttered in the air that whooshed out of his nostrils. A pearl glimmered faintly from where it was nestled underneath his chin.

Wei Wuxian could not help but stop and admire his majestic beauty. It was truly a sight he’d never thought he’d see in his lifetime, for long were said to be mere figments of imagination, myths of the past.

But… I suppose, if there’s a Xuanwu, why not a Shenlong? It was a perfectly reasonable line of logic, he thought, and besides, unless he and the other three were having mass hallucinations, the proof of truth in those supposed legends lay before his own eyes.

It was only when he was sure that the Shenlong was deep in slumber, that he finally turned his attention to the four lacquer panels on the wall. These were clearly done by a great artist - like the rest of the statues and art pieces of the chamber - for the panels were carefully inlaid with mother-of-pearl and gold leaf carved into the shapes of miniscule birds and flowers that fluttered in and adorned the background of the scenes. Below each panel were lines of ancient script, carved deep into the rock by the same great claw which had labelled this cavern the Cave of Dormancy.

The words were not clear to him, given his inability to read ancient text, but thankfully, the pictures were evocative enough that he was able to get the main gist of the story. In the first panel, the Shenlong perched atop a mountain, watching as the towns and people in his purview were washed away by strong wind and rain. In the next screen, he was depicted swooping downwards into the fray and picking off various unfortunate victims from the deluge of water below. His large bulging eyes, created with carven jade gemstones, glimmered malevolently in the light. Blood gushed from his cavernous jaws.

Then, in the next panel, a Fenghuang – a divine phoenix - had descended upon the scene, and was tussling violently with the Shenlong, her long, sharp beak digging into the flesh of the Shenlong’s leg where it was buried. The artist had captured their likenesses so perfectly that the extended claws of the Fenghuang seemed to leap out from the painting at viewers, and her vibrant feathers appeared soft and inviting to the touch.

The scene depicted in the final screen was set in a familiar location: here, in the Cave of Dormancy, the Fenghuang presided over the Shenlong, the iridescent plumage on her wings spread wide as she cast her shadow on the slumbering Shenlong. His long body was now marked heavily with the scars of battle and blood, and he lay in exactly the same position as he was in now, atop the golden pedestal, feet tucked under his body and tail curled round his head; a curiously docile posture.

The only difference between then and now, Wei Wuxian reflected, as he glanced back to the actual Shenlong, was the array of bones now scattered haphazardly around his pedestal – some animal, some human.

The old stories only tell of the Shenlong as a noble and wise creature, who bestows rain upon peasants as a water god, Wei Wuxian thought to himself. This Shenlong must be a rogue one, akin to the black dragon of Jizhou which was killed by the goddess Nüwa. This Shenlong must have brought calamity to the surrounding towns and abused his power to consume human flesh.

All this information he recalled from dusty textbooks and boring lessons on rainy days that seemed a lifetime away – well, he corrected in his mind, for him at least, they were a lifetime away. But there was no time to dwell on his sad past, now. The important thing at hand now, was to find a way to defeat this Shenlong, and stop it from killing any more Yunmeng people. The only thing was – how? Wei Wuxian could see from the grim look in the eyes of his companions that they were similarly nonplussed.

In the stories, there were few who actually fought a long, and even fewer who survived, Wei Wuxian thought, his brain working furiously. Of those few, most were deities or gods like the Monkey God Sun Wukong, or the Third Lotus Prince Nezha. Long have few weaknesses and many strengths, and it will be difficult to conquer it without external, godly help…

Then, all of a sudden, came the clear, sonorous ring of a bell.

Immediately, all four of them froze. Slowly their gazes turned, from the four panels on the wall, and landed on the Shenlong sleeping atop the golden pedestal.

Wei Wuxian’s last thoughts?

…

We’re fucked.

#wangxian #xicheng #upm works #upm #cql #wwx #lwj #jiang cheng #lxc #jc #mdzs #mdzs fanfiction #cql fanfiction #wei wuxian x lan wangji #jiang cheng x lan xichen #wei wuxian #the untamed #lan wangji #lan xichen

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sailundertheblack · 3 years

Note

You can’t answer all of them? Lol

(In response to your pirate OC post)

Of course I can answer all of them! Why not? It will be fun!

If any of you want to know anything else about my oc, feel free to ask!!

And sorry for taking such time for answer it.

So, here it goes some facts about Ayleen Seaworthy, my pirate oc!

1. Do they have any weapons? On their ship or carried with them?

Se has two swords that she carries with her at all times. Since she is the only woman among the crew, she like to have ways to defend herself. Even though she is well respected by all the crew for being a very good sword fighter and sailor, she prefer to be prepared! Other than these two swords, she sometimes carries a pistol and a dagger.

2. Do they use violence or are they friendly?

She is mostly friendly, but that doesn't mean that she can't use violence if she wants to, so let's just say that you wouldn't want to be ate the wrong point of the sword if she chooses to use violence.

3. Have they ever encountered a sea monster and survived?

Never encountered one. Not that she doesn't believe in them, but never had the luck to see one.

4. Any scars?

Countless since she is a pirate, but none that are important or remarkable.

5. Do they have treasure? Where do they keep it?

Not exactly. She lives the life of a pirate but she was kind of forced into it (even if she chose to stay on it later), but she is not that much found of taking treasure for herself or to keeping it. Sometimes she takes one thing or another if she likes it or to trade it for something she wants or needs.

6. Favorite crew member?

The captain, since she was mostly raised by him.

7. Favorite shanty?

She doesn't have a favorite one, but likes to hear the crew while they work.

8. What is their cabin like?

Well, it's the captain's cabin so it's big, full of maps and also personal stuff. She is an artist and an avid reader so you can find a lot of books and drawings. She also like to collect seashells and usually leaves them all around the cabin!

9. Strangest monster they ever saw?

Since she never encountered a monster, then none?

10. Are their family members pirates?

Technically yes. Her biological parents where not pirates or even sailors in any way. They were merchants who used to travel all around to trade. But they were killed when she was around 8, and since then she was raised by a pirate captain.

11. Are people scared of them?

I wouldn't say scared, but her name precedes her, since she is one of the best sword fighters around. Her name is usually related with the name of her captain, that is a very well known, respected and sometimes feared pirate.

12. Do they ever get discriminated against even if they are friendly?

For sure! I mean, I don't need to explain too much besides the fact that she is a woman, and women are not that much welcomed amongst ship crews.

13. Can they swim?

Absolutely! She has a special connection with the sea and her parents taught her how to swim when she was very young.

14. Has their ship ever sunk?

Unfortunately yes. Once.

15. Whose in charge of the sails?

It depends. The sails of the ship or her life? If we are talking about the ship's sails, then I have to say that it varies from time to time. But in her life, she is totally in charge if the sails! She is very resolved and never let anyone tell her what to do. Since she and the captain have a relationship of complicityaa and are allies on everything they do, she is always by his side on his decisions, but she always says that she does these things because she thinks it's right or because she believes in the cause. But in the moment she decides she doesn't want it to do it anymore, no one will tell or convince her otherwise.

16. First treasure?

She is in the life for too long, so she was too young to really remember.

17. Most dangerous treasure hunt?

A Spanish ship full of gold.

18. Favorite treasure?

It is not a whole treasure or a specific hunt, but instead is a remarkable object she found among a plunder. It as a necklace she choose to give as a gift of thanks for a friend she made during a hard time among rich man.

19. A monster encounter that scared them the most?

If you count a person here, then is the pirate who killed her parents. By the time this happened she was around 8. It was the typical 'wrong place ate the wrong time'. Her parents were killed simply because they are having business ate the attacked village. The pirate captain who killed then did it just for fun, and then decided to take her to the ship and keep her locked at the lower decks. She spend several months locked there before she was rescued by another pirate captain.

20. Are they good at swashbuckling?

Not that she does it a lot, but have her moments.

21. Most exciting treasure?

22. Least exciting treasure?

I'm gonna put together both 21 and 22 to answer! I'm going to have to trace back to her life story to answer these two. For her, to take treasures are never that much exiting. She is not born a pirate and, in a lot of ways, didn't choose the life at first. She had a very different life and the way everything was taken from her and the way she was rescued later, witnessing so much violence and cruelty, made her grown to be someone who, first and foremost, doesn't like to kill or see death happeningup close. Don't foll yourself thinking that she is not capable of doing it or is not good with weapons to do so. She is very much deadly if she chooses to be. So, plundering most of time includes a bunch of violence and people getting killed, so not much her thing. She prefers to be part of it in other ways than going into action. For those wondering, she is very well trained to use a sword and to be in a battle, so when she gets into one or get caught in a fight, she knows how to hit to hurt but not kill, so she can disable the opponent. If it dies later because of the wound or lack of care towards it, the there is nothing she can do about it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

23. Have they ever witnessed death? Seen a dead body?

For sure. Her parents were the first, but a great bunch came after, including people that she came to care about. She also had her share of dead bodies that came from the point of her sword or the aim of her guns.

24. How would they react to seeing their crew in danger?

She does everything she can to protect a crew member in danger. They are her family and are respected and treated as friend for mostly all of them.

25. Do they have a soft side?

Actually she has a really big soft side! For the ones she care and specially for the ones she loves, she doesn't care to show affection. But when we came about emotion, she is not an open book for everyone. She usually is open about showing emotion towards the ones she is very close, and the ones who really gets to know her are the ones really capable of knowing what she is thinking or feeling just with a look.

26. Do they ever get sea sick?

Absolutely not! 😆

27. How did they meet their crew?

When her captain rescued her from the lower decks that she was being kept locked, he decided to take her into the ship while sailing back home. She intended to found someone who could take care of her and be free of the burden. But he saw something in her that made him decide to take care of her himself (not alone, but with the help of the woman he take as partner). After a few years, she asked him to take her along to the ship, so she became part of the crew. The ship turned into her home and the crew her family.

28. Are they intimidating?

I wouldn't say so. But it's not necessary a bad thing. She likes to be underestimate. This way she conquers so much more either because people usually think she is no danger or risk and when she acts, it hits as twice as hard!

29. What do they do if they encounter a rival crew?

She is the kind that tries to resolve things with a conversation first. So when there is room for it, this is the road she takes. But it all comes with the circumstances. If ther is no room for conversation, than she is always ready for the battle.

30. What was their first day as a pirate like?

As a 8 years old girl, she was both relieved to being freed from one pirate ship, and also scared to have been taken to another one.

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heyhyunjiin · 6 years

Text

Merman!Hyunjin AU

(Hello! So those recent pictures of Hyunjin with green contacts gave out some demon au feels but for me, it gave more of a merman feel y’know? SO HERE WE GO. P.S. THIS IS SUPER LONG AND I’M REALLY SORRY!) * let’s start with how you meet •Your family was visiting a nearby island in your country bc… you’ve got a lot of islands there. •everything was going fine at first •selfies here and there while the guide made terrible puns •weather was nice too (hA, for now) •BUT •the guide suggests on showing your fam the awesome harmless animals and fruits in the specific island you guys were on •your family is ecstatic! bc animals are cool. •you saw some rad lizards, lil snakes that had no venom, these thicc beetles, and more. •well you were sorta gazing at the critters for too long bc when you looked up, your family was gone. •like you were alone at this point. •you called out to them but received no reply. •after a few minutes of mindlessly searching for them, you had no clue where they went. •there was no cellphone reception and the only thing you had was your backpack filled with snacks, water, your underwater camera, and phone. •AS IF YOUR LUCK COULDN’T GET ANY WORSE, the sky started turning into a really dark color. •oof •sprinkles of rain started falling and you were getting a little more worried bc the ground was getting a bit slippery to walk on. •you tried remembering the route back to the boat but everything looked the sAME! •the rain becomes more aggressive and you search for some shelter bc at this point you needed a quiet place to think. •AND BEHOLD! a cave •it was hidden through some vines and rubble but you managed to squeeze yourself inside. the opening was pretty narrow and very dark with a dim light coming from the other side. •you keep walking till you reach the middle of the cave that had a vast underwater paradise within it

•your mouth hung open bc wOw! it’s such a beautiful place but no one else would witness it bc it’s not included in the vacation brochure •you took out your camera to snap a photo of the beautiful area •as you checked the photo, a silver slither of... something catches your eye. the thing was behind some rocks and appeared to be peaking out from them in the picture. then the camera slips from your hands and slides down the rocks and directly into the water * it went “ploop” * you leaned over the water and just searched for your camera but you couldn’t see it??? * wat? * you literally felt like shoving your head in the water bc how could u do such a thing? your camera was a present and now you lost it. * your hand found its way to your necklace that you toyed with when you were nervous/upset. * “i’m so doNe. how in the heck could this get any worse?” you huffed to yourself. * “...well you could fall in the water and die?” a voice said nonchalantly from behind a rock. * deFENSE mode ActivATED! you peered cautiously at the area where you heard the voice * “...is someone there?” you asked * “nah. just a talking rock.” the voice sounded deep and like it belonged to a male but you weren’t sure. * “Show yourself.” you requested, half hoping it isn’t some sort of terrifying monster and the other half you hoped it would be someone who could help. * a handsome hyunjin appears, swimming towards you. * you were so mesmerized! this boy was so attractive like his face was scultped precisely by the gods themselves. his hair was as dark as the night but his eyes were a nice mint green color with black pupils. * you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in * he chuckled. wow his voice is dEEP. “...ah, how do you humans say it? cat’s got your tongue?” * you were stumped. how in the world did he get into this cave through the pool? * your eyes looked into the water and found something resembling a fish tail that was connected to... HIM? * he followed your gaze and chuckled again at your surprised expression. * this guy even waved his tail at you from underwater. * and your eyes were still as wide as saucers. * “impressed?” He asked you all smug. * you whirled your backpack straight at his face to see if he was,,, real? * he clutched his nose because that fucking hurt :) * “okay... ow.” was all he said. * “m-mermaid!” you uttered out. * he rubbed his aching nose and said, “the correct term is merman but yeah, you get the gist.” * whAt wHat whaT?! * you were in shock because 1. you didn’t consider merpeople as real until now and 2. you were speaking to one * “you’re real... you’re actually real.” you said after taking a couple breaths. * he nodded and gave you some more moments to process it. * “you’re surprisingly calm for a human. aren’t you afraid i’m gonna eat you or something?” he asked. * “if you were gonna eat me, you would’ve done so already.” you pointed out. * “...and what are you doing here anyways?” you added. * “i should be asking you that since this is sorta my place.” he said. * you kinda ignored his previous statement because his tail caught your eye again.

* lemme say this: his tail was really pretty. it was metallic silver but depending on the sunlight, it appeared black in some areas. * “...are you gonna like... tell me your name or something?” he asked you. * you tore your eyes away from his tail because you didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable. * you gave him your name and he gave you his. * SO LET ME SPEED IT UP A BIT * hyunjin and you discussed how you came to your predicament and to your current situation. * you both tried to come up with a solution on how you can get found but it all either ended up with him being discovered or you dying from trying to swim to the boat. * he saw the upset look on your face and it made him feel kinda bad?? like he totaLLY didn’t mind your presence in his cave (it’s literally his chill area when he wants to be away from the other mermen!straykids.) bc he found it kinda comforting to talk to someone new (he loves his other mer friends tho don’t get me wrong!!) but the upset look you had on was unsettling for him. * to get your mind off of things, he pointed at your backpack and asked what was inside. * you said that it was food and water. * “human food?” he asked all cute & curious * you came to the realization that this guy probably hasn’t eaten any human food in his life. * you whipped out some granola bars from your bag and handed him two. * he held one in each hand like an adorable little kid. he was skimming through the name, ingredients, nutrician facts, etc. * “have you ever tried human food before?” you asked him. * he shook his head for a no. you showed him how to open the snack and he took a small bite out of one of the bars * you’re literally sharing food with a mythical creature right now. * suddenly, your mind came to the realization that he could feel ill from eating human food. * his reply was simple, “if i get sick from this then...oh well.” * HE ENDS UP LIKING IT! * you two start talking about your favorite foods and his food selections were seaweed, kelp, clam, etc. * you tried to explain the concept of some of your favorite treats but he still couldn’t really grasp the info. (it was alright tho bc he was still really enchanting with a confused expression) * you also ask him what life was like as a merman and he answered all your questions to the best of his ability. * unfortunately?? you heard the familiar voice of the guide shouting from a distance near the entrance of the cave. * you both stared at the source of the sound and the chill mood you both once had suddenly turned....sad. * you kind of didn’t wanna part with your new friend. * “uh, guess i got the help i needed after all!” you awkwardly said. * hyunjin nodded understandingly and watched you stand up to gather your belongings. * “it was nice meeting you, dude. even though it was only for a short time.” you said through a sad smile. * “same to you, (y/n)...” he said with the same expression. * you took a few strides away from the pool but turned around and saw him still swimming in the same location where you two were just chatting seconds ago. * “do you know that pier with a restaurant on a big yellow boat?” you asked. * he nodded. “yeah, below that pier is a hangout spot for us. what about it?” * you sheepishly toyed with your necklace as you said, “well, my family and i own that restaurant and if you wanted to speak with me again, you can find me there.” * tHIS BOY WOULD BE GRINNING SO WIDE BC HE GETS TO SEA YOU AGAIN (ahaha sorry.) * he agrees that he’ll visit you there soon. (by that he means the next day lol) * he pulls out an object from behind a rock and hands it to you. * IT’S YOUR CAMERA!!! * ah you could practically jump in the water and give this kid a hug. * “I saw it sinking down earlier before I revealed myself and saw how torn up you were about losing it... so here.” * “thanks!” you said and then, asked if you could take a photo of him for your scrapbook. * of course he didn’t know what a scrapbook was but agreed nevertheless... you reminded yourself to bring your scrapbook to the restaurant next time so you can show it to hyunjin. * (i’m not saying his smile in the photo was the sweetest you’ve ever seen... but that’s exactly what i’m saying. you only took a photo of his face and upper torso tho, avoiding his tail in the shot in case someone got a hold of your camera.) * you waved goodbye to him as you made your way towards the entrance of the cave and left with the guide who took you back to your worried family at the boat. AHHHHH THIS WAS LONG. if you want some more mermen!straykids au’s feel free to request hehe. I’M OPEN TO A PART 2 TO THIS BTW! I’M SORRY IF THIS WASN’T PLEASING... I HAVEN’T WRITTEN FOR A WHILE ASIDE FROM SCHOOL PAPERS XD

mermen!straykids au links: bang chan: https://tinyurl.com/mermanchan

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awed-frog · 6 years

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tl;dr: nope

I got a couple of anon asks about this, and I’m also tagging @twist-shout-and-shells because they asked me to, but I have to say - I don’t know anything about comics, I don’t know Marvel at all, so this review is just a meaningless rant. Like, I know so little about this universe that the first superhero movie I ever saw in my life was Thor, and the only reason they got me was because my mythology-loving ass assumed this would be about the actual god, you know?, so that was a very confusing two hours. Anyway - after this, I’m done with them. The ridiculous hype campaign they created around Infinity War actually activated my crow brain, which means I rushed to the theater because I was sort of expecting this would be a shocking masterpiece and any spoiler would ruin it for me, and - yeah. Never doing that again. Because, whatever - they do manage to come up with some good writing from time to time, and Black Panther’s success had made me hope they’d finally recognize that a solid, coherent and meaningful story is really the first thing you need, but apparently not?

Ugh.

Anyway, here are main reasons why I didn’t like Infinity War.

1) No, we don’t need a new plague

Problem number one with this movie is that it fails to take into account that our IQ as a people has dropped about twenty points over the last thirty years (and I’m not even joking) and that means even a guy nicknamed ‘Mad Titan’ is actually given the benefit of the doubt (I don’t remember anyone thinking Hela might have had a point, but then again, women are known to be emotionally compromised at all times, right, so all that rage was probably PMS and crazy bitches, amirite?, can’t live with them, can’t live without them). And here, predictably, is the result:

I even checked Breitbart so you wouldn’t have to and while they seem confused as to whether they should support this movie or not (don’t watch because Captain America is played by ‘Comrade Communism’, do watch because Chris Pratt is a Good Christian Man), it’s still clear to everybody over there that Thanos, “an environmentalist wacko obsessed with salvaging the natural resources of the universe” is “espousing liberal jibberish”.

So, I’m going to keep it short and mostly sourceless because I saw a lot of people discussing this, but just to be clear: yeah, it is worrying that human population has basically tripled in thirty years, but the correlation ‘more people = more damage & fewer resources’ isn’t as clear-cut as some like to think. Also, research shows that women being recognized as human beings - that’s the actual way to solve this problem (see also x, x), which means that if Thanos had meant business, he could have used those frwaking stones to build schools and family planning centres.

2) Your plan against evil can’t be just saying no

This is probably what bugs me the most both in fiction and IRL: saying ‘Trump is a moron’, ‘capitalism is bad’ or ‘genocide is wrong’ is not a political program. It’s a moral stance, and kudos to you, but if you want to make the world a better place, you need a lot more than that. But, nope - IW fell into this trap with such relish I can actually believe no one saw this as a problem - at all. When Thanos pointed out, rather smugly, that decimating Gamora’s planet had led to a new era of happiness and prosperity, she didn’t react in any way. We never saw Tony or Shuri mentioning the outlandish, extravagant idea that better and greener technology could actually save us all. We never saw anyone point out that when the richest 1% own half the world’s wealth, wiping out half of a Nairobi slum isn’t likely to do much for the environment. I guess it wasn’t relevant to the plot?

3) Turning your audience against the good guys = dick move

That said, our planet is objectively in bad shape, and writers and artists who are (or like to think of themselves as) engagés are more than welcome to discuss this - for all her faults, JK Rowling did that to perfection in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, focusing on the importance of conservation and taking a clear stance against animal trafficking. Other movies, of course, went a lot farther than that: my movie rec of the day is Okja, a masterful and soulwrenching look at how capitalism manages food production. But IW, on top of everything else, manages to be an anti-green movement movie? As if that was needed in any way? Apparently comic!Thanos’ goal was to impress Lady Death or something, and maybe they should have gone with that, because to me, movie!Thanos’ plan sounds like an ill-conceived and unfortunate parody of the green movement. In fact, eminent biologist E. O. Wilson’s Half-Earth explores this exact possibility - which is not about killing off 50% of the population, thank you very much, but about improving agriculture and urban structures so we can leave 50% of the world to the rest of the ecosystem. And maybe it’s just me, but isn’t it a bit weird the book came out at about the same time when IW’s script was being written? I try not to be a paranoid nutcase, but come on. Because what the movie does is that it turns Thanos into a sort of green Hitler whose only focus is the environment (“But he was a vegetarian!”), cue the creepy final shot of him going all ‘Schwarzy in the forest’ surrounded by clean-water creeks and happy animals while we are left counting our dead. The metaphor couldn’t be more obvious, and to be honest it is most unwelcome. Time and place, guys? I really haven’t seen something so revolting since I got to the end of the Da Vinci Code and realized atheists were the true monsters all along.

4) Being a hero doesn’t mean saving your friends

So this is starting to become a trend, and seriously, enough. If you’re a hero, then you need to think of something greater than yourself, and this is why your life will suck and suck and suck until your untimely death. Deal with it? And I can understand Loki giving up the Tesseract for his brother, because he’s always been more of an anti-hero than a hero, and his morals are shot to hell in any case, and I’ll forgive Dr Strange because he clearly saw something we didn’t, but what the hell was Steve thinking? Seriously, I keep seeing posts about how Pure and Noble Steve is, and guys, did we even see the same movie? Bringing Vision to Wakanda meant endangering an entire nation, and thousands of people there paid for that choice with their lives. It’s because Steve insisted in not seeing the big picture - or accepting Vision’s own wishes - that Thanos even succeeded in the first place. If they’d destroyed the stone, Thanos would never have gotten his hands on it, and Wakanda would not have been attacked by a horde of alien demons. Sacrificing hundreds or thousands of nameless (black, African) warriors to keep one (white) man safe is not heroism - it’s cowardice. It’s assuming your own feelings and your friends’ lives count more than the lives of strangers, and this is the exact opposite of how a hero should think. Not that I’m surprised, since Steve already condoned the destruction of half of Bucharest to save Bucky, but whatever. Compare and contrast with Tony, by the way, who first tried to destroy the Time stone, then chose to sacrifice himself to save someone he didn’t even like? Yeah, that’s more like it. #TeamStark

5) Every single woman is defined by her relationship to a man

With the caveat that no emotion, connection or motivation is throroughly explored in IW because it’s an action-packed movie during which people never speak an honest word to each other (relying instead on posturing, movie quotes and sarcastic remarks), here is basically what happens: men have things, and women have men. Tony’s journey is mostly about saving Peter and also sacrificing himself for the world. Steve is all about his friends and various heroics. Dr Strange is a sort of ascetic monk playing the long game. Thanos wants to save the universe or something. And Vision is on a quest towards humanity? Maybe? But the women - Gamora is important because she’s Thanos’ daughter. Scarlet Witch is important because she loves Vision. Natasha (I think she’s in the movie? I don’t actually remember if we hear her speak) is on Cap’s side because Cap. Pepper only appears to remind us of what Tony has to lose. Exceptions to this rule include Shuri, whom IW didn’t quite manage to destroy; Loki, who was always female- and queer-coded, so I’m not surprised he ends up dying for the handsome and suitably Aryan hero; and arguably Starlord, who mostly fights for Gamora (what is a virtue in a woman, however, is a weakness in a man, because Starlord ends up fucking up the plan because of his love for her). And I know they probably tried to compensate for the complete lack of women in the movie by highlighting how powerful Scarlet Witch is and focusing so much on Gamora, but I’m an annoying person, so that didn’t work for me. Because, again, Scarlet Witch is a 2D character plucked directly from a Victorian dictionary’s definition of ‘woman’ (while the menfolk around her worry about the possible demise of the Entire Earth, there she is, channelling all her energy in being a good and loyal companion to her robot husband) and Gamora has no more control over her life in this movie than she had as a child? Her main narrative purpose in IW is to make us feel bad for her boyfriend and father, who’re both driven to kill her (for very different reasons) and suffer for her death (and don’t get me started on Thanos suddenly loving someone and what a stroke of luck, the one person in the universe he gives a damn about just happens to be standing next to him on top of a cliff when he needs to kill her). Seriously, why is it that female characters’ concerns still begin and end with romantic love? This trope that romance is the most important thing for every single woman needed to die, like, yesterday.

6) None of that actually means anything

Look, I’m a sucker of time-travel of any description, but I also think time-travel must be done honestly or not at all. Movies like Back to the Future or Arrival both use time bending to great effect, because the stakes are real and painful and there are all sort of complex decisions facing our heroes. But IW doesn’t care about any of that. The existence of the Time stone is not about ethical dilemmas or even turning up the drama to eleven - the one purpose of that thing is to make us hope that our personal fave is not dead after all, so we’ll keep watching this stupid franchise until the end of times. That finale could have been innovative and heartwrenching, and instead we already know it wasn’t. Samuel L. Jackson is apparently confirmed in Captain Marvel, which will be released next year, and we also know they’re working on Spider-Man 2, Guardians of the Galaxy 3, Black Panther 2 and Doctor Strange 2. Capitalism has very nearly killed the possibility of creating a well-written and gutting story, because the rule is, If it makes money, it goes the fuck on. Hence TV shows which no longer make any kind of sense but we all keep watching out of nostalgia, affection for the characters or dissatisfaction with our own lives, and also franchises which stretch the plot to new and boring limits (for instance, it beggars belief that Tony and Steve didn’t even meet in IW, and their fight never came up at all: I guess we’ll have to wait for IW 2, or Avengers 37: The One with The Talk). And here, again, studios are so greedy that they willingly disregard the fact audiences will reward ‘complete’ stories: for instance, Logan was critically acclaimed and made tons of money, but the risk of ‘permanently’ killing off a beloved character is still considered too high. And playing it safe actually works: IW costed $320 million, which is about 5% of the studio’s budget, and that investment has already been repaid in full (the movie made double that in the first two weeks).

(Meanwhile, 21st Century Fox gained more than one billion dollars from Trump’s TAX REFORM THAT WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN - probably a disappointing amount of money for owner Richard Murdoch, who has a net worth of 15 billion and is known to use some of that hard-earned cash to support laudable & important causes such as the privatization of public education, but hey, we all need to make do and move on, right? Right.)

So this is mostly it. To be fair, IW was mildly entertaining, and I thought they sort of did a good job in juggling twenty leads - we got no character development at all and no meaningful dialogue, but we saw everybody at least once and their lines were funny? Some moments were genuinely good despite a couple of bizarre plot points (I’m still unclear on why Strange didn’t create a circle of fire around Thanos’ arm, and very tired of the overused ‘Yeah, let’s save the most powerful weapons for last’ trope), so I wouldn’t say this was the worst movie ever made, but as I said, I’m done. I’ve given more than enough money to this franchise, so when IW 2 comes out, I think I’ll be a boring adult and watch it on TV as I’m doing my ironing or something. Good times.

#infinity war #iw #iw review #infinity war review #marvel universe #there you go #i think everyone has seen it by now?#here is my take on it #sorry to be annoying

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sending-the-message · 7 years

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DOG by Ilunibi

So, I’m a found object artist, specializing in assemblage and creepy fucking sculptures. Not one that you would have heard of, just one with a day job and a weird hobby. I spend a lot of time at flea markets and peddler’s malls, because they’re the one place you can go with fifty bucks and walk out with a mummified deer head and a crate of old, rusty kitchen knives, all of which fit my motif to a T. Courtesy of crazy country folk with enough money to rent booth B-4892, I have done such magical, artistic things as help build a monster out of dog jawbones and scrap metal and shove a cow skull in a box with serial killer scrawlings, the latter of which is set to glow bright red at night because Christmas lights were on sale and I didn’t realize how tacky it would be until after the fact.

I don’t always make wise decisions.

But, yeah, you can gather that I gravitate toward creepy things. Sometimes, though, I’ll drift toward the stalls colored bright pink with fluffy stuffed animals and old McDonald’s toys still in the bag, if only because a touch of cute to something unsettling can make it ten times more powerful. Desecrating something wholesome and pure elicits a lot of uncomfortable feelings in people, and trashing those tiny plastic Furbies that came with Happy Meals in the ‘90s is super satisfying. They’re terrifying.

Fortunately for you, though, this isn’t a story about Furbies. This is a story about Dog.

Dog was the denizen of one of those pastel toy booths, crammed so far into an Easter basket that it was like somebody was trying to bury him out of sight for the rest of his little puppy life. One look at him and it was evident that he was probably older than my mother, crafted of a ragged brown fabric that was threadbare in places with wide, orange/pink eyes that gleamed red in the fluorescent light. He was bottom heavy, the majority of the sawdust inside of him crammed into his legs from what I assumed were years of sitting on his ass. When I picked him up he felt gritty and made my hands uncomfortably dry.

A tag was dangling from his wrist. Typically, ancient stuff in this particular peddler’s mall would have the year printed on it to entice antique hunters, but all his said was “DOG, $5.” Strange, but hey, maybe they didn’t know how old he was.

I instantly liked Dog, though. He was strangely cute and, despite my art’s subject matter, I’m secretly a glitter-loving, cat-snuggling pushover. As I wandered around looking at old Coke bottles and rusted traffic signs, a part of me regressed to being that softhearted five-year-old who was paranoid that if she didn’t have all of her stuffed animals on her bed that the ones left behind would be scared and alone at night. My mind kept drifting to Dog, crammed in that basket, looking vaguely afraid, probably overlooked because people thought he was ratty and gross. He wasn’t even disgusting, really. He was just slightly terrifying and showing his age.

I must have looked like a sight, walking up to check-out with a goddamn meat cleaver and a ratty toy dog, but I couldn’t resist in the end. I didn’t want Dog to be alone. He was older than the hills and had made it this far, so it’d be a shame if he didn’t sell and ended up in a landfill somewhere. Dumb to be concerned about an inanimate object, I know, but again, I’m a fucking pushover.

So, I brought Dog home to my apartment, much to my roommate’s delight. He loves creepy things and old things and Dog fit both of those bills. He originally expressed some concern that my cat would be a little too interested in him because he was filled with sawdust and smelled like outdoors, but thankfully she didn’t really want anything to do with him. Safe from being a scratching post, he found a new home nestled on the row of stuffed animals that we had gradually been accumulating on the back of the couch: souvenirs from zoo and aquarium trips, geek toys from our favorite games, that sort of thing. Dog became the semi-permanent neighbor of an ESO mudcrab and a bushbaby.

Notice I said “semi-permanent.” I say this because it didn’t take long for Dog to start traveling in instances my roommate and I originally blamed on the cat. It started with him being behind the couch, then dragged outside our bedroom doors. Then, it evolved to him teetering on top of our headboards while we slept or peeking from behind the milk in the fridge. We assumed the other was just messing with us until, finally, I got a call at work after my roommate dropped me off. His voice was shaken and I could hear the sound of traffic rushing behind him.

Apparently, after dropping me off, he caught a glimpse of movement in his peripheral vision. He checked once, and there was nothing. He checked once more when it happened again, and Dog was sitting in the passenger’s seat. It startled him enough that he pulled over to call me, convinced there had to be some sort of explanation, but what explanation could there be? I was at work, Dog hadn’t been in the car, and then he was. Not like I could will him inside of it.

I got periodic text messages throughout my shift. How my roommate got stuck in unexpected traffic because he pulled over and his twenty minute commute turned into an hour. How uncomfortable he was being in the car with Dog. How he put Dog back in my room to keep from having to look at him but he was back on the couch after he took a shower. The kicker came in the last hour of my workday, though.

“I missed a six car pile-up at our exit because I stopped. FedEx semi. Rolled over and caught fire. Eight dead.”

The traffic my roommate was stuck in was the result of an inexperienced semi driver trying to illegally change lanes at our exit. I don’t know the logistics of it, but apparently he somehow managed to tilt his cargo while trying to overcorrect and wound up crushing the cars in the lane next to him. It caused a pile-up because nobody on the interstate actually drives the speed limit, then, bam. Gas and sparks ignited and the entire thing went up in smoke. It wasn’t anything my roomie saw, mind you, because he got impatient and got off at the previous exit, so it took him by surprise to read the local news later and realize that Dog’s miraculous intervention saved him from burning alive. Potentially.

Needless to say, Dog got a lot more respect after that. Back on the couch he went, with the occasional head pat for good luck and just to let Dog--or whatever was in Dog--know that we appreciated whatever it was that he just did. We didn’t even sit in front of him when we played video games or watched Netflix, just in case Dog wanted to watch, too. Whenever he’d disappear and pop up someplace else, we always acted happy to see him, like he was a kid playing hide and seek or something.

It sounds crazy, but we didn’t regret it when we began to notice patterns in where he popped up.

Shows up in the fridge? He was next to expired food. Saved me a morning of rancid cereal. An appearance under the sink? We had a mild leak and mold was beginning to grow. That could have been bad for my allergies. We still didn’t know why he showed up on or near our beds or outside of our bedrooms, but we thought he may have believed that the cat was a threat and was trying to protect us from her. He is a dog, after all.

Then? Dog stepped up his game.

It was one of those days where you come home from work and are just done. Eleven at night and it was all I could do to get out of my uniform and walk to my bed. My typically nocturnal roomie was in the same boat, having “accidentally” stayed up for a good forty-eight hours playing goddamn Fallout 4 because he has the self-control of a kindergartner on his days off. We high-fived our Dog buddy on the couch and were out by midnight.

Now, normally, I’m a deep sleeper. Being a deep sleeper does not keep you from being woken up by the sound of “What the fuck!” ringing through your apartment in a voice you, unfortunately, don’t recognize. Then, I heard barking, loud and furious, ripping through the air at a volume that seemed unnatural. It was like cranking up Cujo on an old television as high as it would go. There was growling and snarling, cussing and fussing, then the sound of my cat bolting under my bed. Heavy footsteps thundered down our hallway, then back. Our bookshelf of knicknacks rattled, I heard the door to our balcony squeak open, some rustling…

… Then, a thud.

A male voice screamed on impact and I bolted out of my room, meeting my roomie in the hallway with the best weapon we own in the goddamn apartment: a fucking broom. While I’m not sure what he hoped to accomplish with that, at the time he seemed like a knight in shining armor. I hid behind him while we edged toward the living room.

It took extreme courage to flip the light on. We both half expected to be attacked as soon as an intruder saw the whites of our eyes. But, there wasn’t an intruder.

The balcony door and screen were open, and lying in the middle of the living room floor was Dog. A seam on his leg has split, sawdust scattered around him. While my roommate assessed the damage, I poked my head out the balcony door and took a look-see. It took a little help from my phone’s flashlight, but I could assess the damage as one broken branch on the dogwood tree beside our balcony and one grown-ass man sniffling on the sidewalk right beneath our third floor apartment. He’d attracted quite the audience of pajama-clad neighbors with his screaming and, after a quick phone call, the cops were in attendance as well.

He wasn’t anyone I knew and he wasn’t there to burgle anything. The police seemed to recognize him almost instantly, and I got a pretty stern warning to keep my balcony door locked because apparently the dude had been gunning for me for a while. He had a car parked around the block, and a nasty assortment of objects that spelled a bad time for me. They didn’t tell me much more than that, which I was fine with, but they did ask me one weird question before the left.

“What did you hit him with?”

I told them the truth: Nothing. Which the officer found mighty suspicious because the guy’s hair was full of sawdust and he was adamant that I had thwacked him with a sock full of something. Right before my dog tried to attack him, apparently. A dog I technically don’t have.

I spent a lot of time patching Dog up after that--not so easy, given his age--and both my roomie and I sat around trying to figure out the how or the why of what happened or, more importantly, how long that dude had been creeping around inside of our apartment while we slept. After all, Dog always showed up whenever danger (however minor) was near. How many times had we woke up in the morning to find him sitting vigil on our headboards, nestled beside our heads, sitting at our doors? Honestly, I don’t want to think about it.

Lately, he’s been pretty stationary, save when we forget to clean out the fridge or the cat knocks something over and breaks it. I’ve occasionally found him staring wide-eyed out the balcony door, which is unnerving, but I keep it locked up tight anymore and we’ve upgraded our home defense from “broom stuffed in a closet.”

I’m not too concerned. Maybe he’s just keeping watch, since rotten yogurt and broken glass seems to be the most he has to worry about anymore.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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