#love the censor roach joke

[popponn]

seagull t-shirt. [itoshi sae x reader]

notes: happy bday sae. i didnt expect to fall for you yet here we are. his personality is really funny if you actually think about it. writing him impulsively with deadline haunting you is a funny break to have. anyway here is a fic about lovesick idiots who didnt realize how disgusting they are (rin is the main victim). warning: mild cursing. fluff rom com (almost crack-ish), post canon au (where itoshi bros relationship got better), please do not take this too seriously as i did not, sae is kind of smitten, written with f!reader in mind but could be read as gn!reader.

According to Rin, Sae is the worst kind of guy to be around with whenever you get involved.

Of course, when the younger complained—or, more precisely, bitched—about this to you, as if he was asking you to do something about it, you didn’t really get it. Sae is Sae, even when he was with you, you thought. He is as dry and blunt as ever—so you truly wondered if the difference was that much anyway.

Not to say, Rin probably wouldn’t understand how hard it was to get Sae to do lovey-dovey stuff with you. And no matter how much you love Sae, objectively you would never recommend him as a boyfriend. Or even as a friend, actually.

Sae always gets so stiff when you suddenly hold his hand in public at first—it got better, though not by much. Sae is also terrible to ask for advice—he is better off as a great listener, but Sae often comments so that too was crossed off the list. Also, there is the fact that Sae is a perfectionist athlete boyfriend who would stare at you like some possessed, expensive cat if you didn’t go with him on a morning jog.

Put simply, your boyfriend—while lovely in his own, kind of weird way—is one nosy, high-maintenance, complicated piece of shit, if you must review him objectively.

“You are fucking dumb,” Rin spitted at you after your explanation.

“Huh?”

“That tacky bird shirt,” Rin said as he browsed through his bookshelf. “The ug—the one with weird face.”

You tried to remember which one Rin meant. You did buy Sae many weird stuffs. Then, you remember the seagull one, “Oh! Is it the dancing seagull shirt?”

Rin groaned so loudly you were worried he would cry somehow. “That one.”

“It’s cute. It’s Sae’s favorite animals too!” you recalled it was also something you bought half as April fool joke and half as new pajamas. Not that Sae knew about that.

“He wore that to practice and nearly got into fight for it,” Rin said blandly.

“…what?”

“Some dumbass called it ugly to his face and shitty brother snapped,” Rin continued, deadpan all while taking out a thick book from his shelf.

You laughed nervously at that, “Like, he demolished them in soccer, right? As usual? You know how Sae gets some—”

“He called them fuckass and several other things to their face,” Rin cut you off. “He nearly got benched for saying all that before the match.”

At that, you felt yourself drawing into a literal pause. If Rin decided to censor what Sae said into ‘several other things’ while said ‘those things’ almost got your prodigy of mid-fielder benched in an environment where calling people turds or roaches are the norm—what the hell did Sae say?

“…I’m glad he didn’t then!” you exclaimed cheerfully, making a silent note to yourself to talk about this to Sae later at home. You never heard of this from him. “Look at Sae—balancing soccer duties and boyfriend duties! Even though it was over a shirt.”

Was this when he suddenly got clingy last month? Or was it when he suddenly made you wear only his clothes at home for a full week? Or was this when he suddenly offered to buy you a new furniture set?

Sae really is a mysterious man—in the way that he really likes to do or say something beyond your reason sometimes.

Talk about your questionable taste in men.

“…fuck it,” Rin muttered under his breath, throwing the thick book in his hand toward you. “You are just as bad as him.”

“Hey! I’m Sae’s impulse control, just saying!” you responded as you seamlessly caught the book. Were you anyone else, you wouldn’t have been able to, but hanging around the two Itoshi brothers really trained you for many things. Including catching a flying photo album. “…what is this for, Rin?”

“Nii-chan asked for it. That’s the thing he asked you to pick up from me,” Rin said.

“Oh…?” you blinked at it, flipping through it. Inside, a third of it was filled with old photos of Sae and Rin, while the rest were empty and unused. “Why though?”

“Who knows,” Rin offered, unreadable even though you had a feeling he knew. Then, with a burning glare, he added, “Now get out! Stop lounging in my bed as if you own it!”

“You really need to be nicer to your future in-la—”

“I said—get out!”

And thus with that, you were kicked out. The youngest child could be really brutal sometimes.

However, pushing all the dotting comments your mind formed for Rin aside, you decided to pull out your phone and call Sae as you walked home. You probably wouldn’t be able to talk to him for long, but you suddenly did want to hear his voice. The feeling was giddy and airy in some ways—which hinted you enough to not ponder upon it much while you were in public.

Then, within three beeps, Sae picked up your call. “What is it?” he said without greeting you.

“Yes, Baby, hi. My day is great, Darling, I miss you too,” you scoffed lightly, which only earned a hum from Sae. That day too, he was as unromantic as ever, just like how you were used to. “So, I have some questions.”

“Hm,” Sae hummed once again, wordlessly ordering you to continue. For that bossy attitude, you would give him ugly socks later.

“First, did you really almost get into a fight because of the seagull t-shirt?” you asked immediately, not wasting any time. “And why did you even bring that to work, seriously? That is for home-only, you know. Your handsome face would cry if they got paired with something like that.”

“I brought it with me by accident,” Sae answered, before staying silent for a moment. “…the rest are none of your business.”

“…oh, Sae…” you sighed, as fond as you were exasperated. Judging from his tone, this was just another thing he did with you as the reason, in one way or another. If only he could admit things like these out loud, maybe you would cease your ‘unromantic’ jokes.

“What,” Sae shot back sharply.

“Nothing!” you laughed. Quickly, then, you reverted to your mocking, stern voice, “Continuing—do you actually like the ugly clothes I buy for you?”

Your question was genuine in a way. As it would be funny if that was the case. Someone like Sae—serious, good looking, with high specs many of his fans dreamt of—liking all those gag punishments despite his fashion preference—it would be ironic, but funny.

“Hell no. They are as ugly as shit,” Sae answered without an ounce of hesitation, which baited out another laugh from you. However, softer, at the end of his answer, he said—

“They are from you. That’s the only reason we still keep them.”

Stunned, you found your words stuck in your throat for a moment. Then, smiling, you cooed, “Oh, Sae! I will buy you those socks with opening mouths for your birthday!”

From the other side of the phone, you could feel Sae’s judgment upon you. “Just don’t send them in some weird box this time.”

“I told you that one time was definitely a bad idea. Stop bringing that up already,” you chided.

“At least you are self-aware,” Sae responded.

Hearing him, you would never believe this was the same guy who would pick a fight for you despite his personality. But then again, this was Sae, full of many things underneath that unpleasant demeanor of his. At this point, you wouldn’t have him any other way.

“Oh, right, one more thing,” you remembered. “What is this photo album for?”

“…I must be off now,” Sae said suddenly.

“Huh? Why?” you blinked at his statement, surprised.

“See you at home later…” Sae stilled his words for a moment, before continuing them gently, saying it like a secret. “…Love.”

And just with that, your phone call ended.

Without you realizing it, your steps had come to a halt as you could only gape at your phone, holding said object and the photo album in your hand even tighter. “What the heck was that…?”

If your face heated up, that was your own business.

(Just like how Sae wanted to put your photos with him in that album, that would only be Sae’s business until he put a ring on you.)

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.  

[knightofbalance-13]

The Troll Flees!

http://xenodweeb.tumblr.com/post/160575550572/knightofbalance-13-xenodweeb

“Calling the poorly written and only example of civil rights groups in the show ‘terrorists’ simply for not being total pacifists and not because they were poorly written and calling anyone who thinks they were poorly written ‘terrorists’ isn’t racist, but making a joke about me saying racist things isn’t. uwu“

Holy shit, I don’t know what I did to make you this mad at me that you resort to spouting ad hominems that would make a 12-year-old cringe, but like since you’re asking for receipts that aren’t literally what you just said.

Ah yes and I remember you saying

“I’m a pathetic little shit that can’t argue worth a crap, my dick is the size of an atom, it is illegal for me or anyone remotely sharing a genepool. I can’t spell my own name without the assistance of my mommy and daddy and I compensate by trolling everyone on the internet and spreading annoyance and mild disgust because I hate myself deep down inside and I laugh at this because I laugh at my self like the worthless piece of shit I am.” (Lie used to illistrate a point which is coming up next)

Of course I’m lying and this never happened seeing as this is our only conversation together so i must be a complete moron for thinking this would prove anything or anger anyone (This is what I am saying about you since you have the IQ of a caterpillar apparently).

@sssn-neptune-vasilias @bluepulserjaime @rwby-rants-and-theories@rwbycriticism Care to share any other reciepts receipts showing KoBby’s other racist statements? He’s asking for them so nicely. ;^)

Ah yes, call for help little troll. We all know you’re making a fool of yourself trying to act like you stand anything of a chance against me in a fair argument. 

While we’re at it, how about I bring up the fact that SSSN there directly said taht unless you do exactly as he says and put LGBT representation in shows or else he’ll harass you and bully you?

Or how about RWBY rants blocked me for daring to think that RWBY isn’t the worst written thing in the world when My Immortal, Twilight and Prayer Warriors still exist?

Or how about when RWBYcriticism tried to act like I ahrrassing him when he openly invited me to reblog him directly?

Or how about when Blusepulserjamie there called my friend a coon for not think Jaune is evil?

I can take all you, I’m willing for a boss rush.

“I posted four sentences so that mean’s I’m not mad.”

“You’re treating me like a joke so I can act as childish as I want”

???

You will shove words down my throat to seem intellectually superior, but me not taking “STOP CRITICIZING MUH SHOW!!!!!!” seriously is “not having an attention span?” Eat shit, Green KoBlin.

I made four sentences. Four. That is taking too long huh? So you have teh attention span of a fruit fly. Explains why you can’t understand good writing or conceive of an argument besides “me right.”

Oh and you call me out on a taking a joke seriously…then immediately take a joke seriously. And the said part is, I knew you were trolling me so I just snarked right back. So all you did was shoot yourself in your unused genitals aiming for my head right in front of you.

So uh, how’s that fact manipulation going? Terrible I bet since you tried to misinform me on my own words.

“ How about you read that response again, except imagine Kirito from SAO Abrigded is saying it. “

Hey, uh quick question… Are you 12? Only children would think this was a clever come back.

Apparently you are because a 12 year old would say that, not realizing that I was informing you i was being snarky. Kirito From SAO Abridged was the snarkiest character I could think of. Only a 12 year old would think that was a comeback.

“ In fact, considering the fact that I was able to make a response actually addressing what you said instead of being a whiny little troll, I was doing a better job.”

“ And don’t try whining about this later: All i’m doing is treating you as you wanted. As a troll. “

And that is contradictory...how? I never said I was acting like a troll, all I said was that I was treating you as one. My method of dealing with trolls is to stuff them until they gargle to death on their own bile. Apparently that worked.

Yes, Pogs for KoBlins, making a textwall in response to a “vile cyberbully troll” is the best course of action and isn’t the exact thing they want.

Oh so you identify as such. Because I never called you that before and quotes means you are taking that from a source and this thread is the only source you have on me relating to you. That or you’re trying to aggrivate me in which case: HA!

“ Oh so calling you out on you treating your subjective opinion as absolute, undeniable fact despite it going against the general and critical consensus “

You know, for someone who whines about how autistic people deserve better representation more than LGBT+ people, you sure love to say terms like “brain dead.”

Nice self portrait, really captures your psychological defense. Now if only it were made out of shit, it’d be identical.

Yeah, all I said in THAT post was that LGBT people have it better than I do and I don’t complain so nice try there.

“ You fail arguing.”

at* :^)

At isn’t a sentence.

“ (nevermind said fictional group is considered terrorists by members of the same race) “

Ah yes… People of the same race… Of the fictional group… of the fictional world… That was written… And could have been written differently… Because they’re fictional.

Okay then, not good enough. The KKK is considered terrorists and bullies and horrible people even by other white people. The Black Panthers at their lowest are basically disowned by black people and, moving away from race, my LGBT friends hate RWDE arguing for LGBT characters more than I do;

“No, you see, I was actually INTENTIONALLY acting like the ass I’ve always been because I was actually the REAL troll. The textwall I made? It’s actually bait to fool you into thinking I was feeding you. Because it’s only not serious when it suits my needs. Doesn’t that troggle your bloggles????”

SO sad that the only points you can actually argue against are the oens in your five celled brain and even then you suck at it.

And what do I have to do? Label what I say as sarcasm? Tried that, you people ignored it.

Holy shit, you really do think you’re this Sherlock Holmes of the fandom and RWDE’s this group of Moriarties, don’t you?

Well you’re not. You’re simply a roach to us that simply won’t die. If simply criticizing Miles senpai is oppressing him to you, then you do you, but in reality you’re just as much of an obsessed, bottomfeeding maggot as Digital Homicide was, and god knows how much their tantrum helped them.

One day, you’ll realize this, and you’ll learn that I am the Jim Motherfucking Sterling son in this argument.

And in that day, you will thank god for me.

Then why did you delete the original post? Why run away if you’re Jim Sterling? Why censor and manipulate and lie and cheat and act just like Digital homicide?

Welp, because you are just like them. And this post will forever exist as your shame.