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#Also love how all the guys freaked out
lostplay · 2 years
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ywpd-translations · 3 months
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Ride 766: The ones chasing the colored bib!!
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Pag 1
1: Those who pride themselves on their speed on flats are jumping ahead one by one!!
Waa
So fast!
2: Their goal is
3: the first result that's 10km ahead of here...
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Pag 2
1: The sprint line!!
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Pag 3
1: We're done here
On!!
Hurry up, you haven't forgotten anything?
No
2: Damn, road racing is so much more hectic than tennis
3: I-I'll grab that for you!
Thanks
4: We have to take a different route than the race to get to the supply point ahead of time
5: They were saying that a a lot of people jumped ahead earlier right after the start
For that “something line”? Is that thing so important?
On
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Pag 4
1: The sprint line is the first title
2: During the Inter High there are three colored bibs you can obtain in one day: the sprint's “green bib”, the mountains' “red bib”, and the one for that day's victory, the “yellow bib”
This for all three days... nine of them in total
3: And among them, the “first day's fast sprint line” is the very first one
4: A flash situation right after the start when no one is injured or had retired yet.... out of the nine bibs that everyone can desire
5: under the same conditions, this, most of all, is the one
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Pag 5
1: when everyone has the same chances!!
Gallop!!
2: The green bib
3: has to be mine!!
Ugh!! That guy's fast!!
4: There's a lot of show-offs from Nagoya
They mistake flashiness for strength
Real strength is
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Pag 6
2: is “thickness”!!
Th... “thickness”!?
3: I'm Oosumi from Kagoshima's Satsuma Nishi high school!!
In Kyushu “thick” means “big”!! And I won't lose against anyone when it comes to waist circumference and neck thickness!!
Ugh!! He really is huge!
4: Oosumi-kun!!
Kagoshima's Oosumi-kun!!
5: The thickest volcano in Japan is Sakurajima!!
The thickest radish in Japan is the Sakurajima radish!!
Uh... but that has nothing to do with running!!
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Pag 7
1: I want to try and see if there's a connection!!
3: If everyone has a chance, then it's not out of reach for anyone
4: That's right... the chances are equal... so
5: of course... in order to take all the bibs and regain the title
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Pag 8
1: Kanagawa's Hakone Academy is aiming for the first sprint line too!!
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Pag 9
1: “Shoot them down”?
You really wanna go, Bashi-kun?
2: Well...
3: In that case, Jou-kun will rest..
Wha!! wait, Manami, the plan....
4: We can't hold him back.... Bashi-san, please don't break your zipper
5: Even if I break it, as long as I win there's nothing to complain about!!
6: Can you do it?
Who do you think you're speaking to!!
7: I'll take it, 100%!!
My jersey, that was handed over to me by Izumida-san... and that Izumida-san got from Shinkai-san...
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Pag 10
1: Is the one with the “bib number 4”, the ace sprinter number of Hakone Academy's tradition!!
2: Ugh!! Hakogaku is moving....
Ugh...
The first sprint.... for Hakogaku, Doubashi is suddenly going for it?!
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Pag 11
3: Just now
4: I heard someone say that Hakogaku is moving!!
5: And earlier I got confirmation that Kaburagi moved
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Pag 12
1: The third year Doubashi is going?
That Doubashi!!
2: What should our selected team do!!
3: We have no chance of winning
So do we keep going like this and preserve our strengths?
No
Should we send someone!?
4: Good grief.... is there no time to calmly savor the “feeling of running”at the Inter High!! The feeling of running!!
5: Pfui...
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Pag 13
1: Of course I'm prepared for it but still!!
2: Kobayashi!! Uchikawa!!
3: You have the chance to test your legs that you've trained on the track field!!
4: Go for the green bib challenge!!
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Pag 14
1: Huh.... but
But the first attack is basically already done
If only the two of us jump ahead now from here....
2: One last train is soon coming up from behind us
He has a terrific acceleration, but if you can jump on it you can make it to the front!!
3: Ohh
Waaa
4: He's coming!!
5: Seriously!? If we can then I wanna go!!
What should we do, Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 15
1: He's here!!
5: He's huge!!
Hakogaku!!
Huh!! Sugimoto-san!?
7: Kuaaaaaa!!
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Pag 16
1: Doubashii!!
2: Sugimoto-san jumped ahead....
3: and caught up to the Hakogaku guy!?
4: Huh!?
What do you want, you....
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Pag 17
1: You're Sohoku's handyman....!?
2: Can you take two people of the selcted team with you!?
I want to give them the chance to experience the sprint
3: Why are you running in the Inter High!!
4: The selected team!? So you're the one they said they called at last minute!!
Please take them with you
5: Ah!? You call that a negotiation!?
Get out of here with that selfish talk!!
6: There's no benefit for me..!! It's ridiculous!! I refuse!!
I'll make up for it!!
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Pag 18
1: When Hakogaku is in a pinch somewhere, we'll help you!! I'll take the initiative!!
3: Buah!! Oi, wait-
You!? Helping!? Hakogaku!?
Th-that's right!!
4: Buuah, that's not balanced!!
Please
5: Please!!
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Pag 19
1: …. tch, I don't hate earnest people
2: Get on!! Selected team's guys!! But I won't care if you get shaken off!!
5: Handyman!!
I felt your spirit!!
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Pag 20
1: I'll take these guys for now
I don't expect anything though!!
Thank you Doubashi!!
Waaa-
He's so fast!!
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Pag 21
1: Ah I'm so glad....
Sugimoto-san....
Sugimoto-san is amazing.... he negotiated....
2: Now, we'll run in a formation while preserving our strength
Otherwise, if we're all scattered when they come back, they won't have a place to rest
3: Yessir!!
4: Do your best, guys
5: So fast....
It's hard, Kobayashi...
6: But we'll hold out
This is the road that Sugimoto-san negotiated for us!!
Yes!!
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Pag 22
2: Hakone Academy's Doubashi moved, on!!
This.... Issa-kun and Doubashi-san... could it be that it'll be like...
3: last year's matchup, on!!
4: No but, Kanzaki-chan, what you were saying earlier about the colored bibs
5: You said that counting the sprint and the climb, there's three of them for each day
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Pag 23
1: And there's no one who wants to take all three of them?
2: Yeah, since climbing and sprinting are fundamentally different running styles, there's no one
5: That is, if you exclude....
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Pag 24
1: those out-of the-ordinary people who will appear sometimes!!
Yon
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crow-with-a-pencil · 1 year
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@naffeclipse
Them ❤️
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ruvviks · 2 days
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my cyberpunk wip folder is entirely too large on account of too many ocs at this point so have these sketches i might never finish :] top to bottom left to right: ambrose, @mojaves' seb + cassidy's arm, cato, jesse, mojaves' gabriel, seb again + reuben + aubrey, mojaves' vega + reuben again, reid </3, becca <3, james & aubrey again, the butcher, seb AGAIN, kaida, vitali, and johnny!vincent
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@jacobseed, @swordcoasts
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going to tear my room apart thinking about how Makoto Naegi genuinely is a normal guy. Even more so in the games where he doesn’t quite have the same explosion he does in the anime adaption— he made up his mind before the trial even started that he wasn’t going to give up no matter what happened to him because his friends had given their last trying to live, and he had to survive for them. He didn’t see surviving but choosing despair as surviving, he wanted to do what they entered the room prepared to do, he wanted to fulfill the declaration he made when he survived his execution: as long as he was alive, as long as he was breathing, he wasn’t going to give up. He saw Junko, he saw everything she presented, and he’d already felt that utter despair. He had the chance to give in as early as Mukuro’s first trial, where he could have chosen to suspect Kirigiri. But he refused to be manipulated anymore, he refused to play the game, even if it meant everything he had, and that’s where he changed from hiding to fighting. When he made the decision to hide Kirigiri’s lie (he did NOT know he was going to die, actually!!! He thought they’d be able to work out the trap bc there was never a time limit before that trial!! That said it’s still incredible that he refused to break even when he realized it would cost him his life.) that was when he broke from his fear completely. That was when he officially bowed out of the game. He wouldn’t be subject to the game’s demands anymore, he was going to win no matter what. He chose to have reckless faith in his friends no matter what, he chose to pursue a truth that would end the game for good. It’s not entirely normal for anyone to do, for sure, but that doesn’t mean he was the only one capable. I’ve said that before in a previous post, that Makoto didn’t do anything that was impossible for any other person. Just like despair was innate in every person and everyone was capable of it, so was hope. That’s what Makoto brought out. But even he stumbled. Even he needed his friends there. And the other survivors are the ones that took Makoto’s prompt and used it to break free of Junko’s influence, Makoto didn’t force them to. He didn’t brainwash them or manipulate them or do anything to influence their thoughts any more than reminding them hope was still there for them, that it wasn’t over yet. They did the rest themselves.
And then they left, and the title Ultimate Hope got away from them all, into a world ideologically influenced by Junko’s despair, and in its absence after her death, it latched into the next powerful force one to replace what it has lost, but it needed a figurehead. So Makoto was chosen, as the one that refused to submit in the face of Junko. He was viewed as an ultimate, elevated, the world placed on his shoulders, and the same wave that brought about the Tragedy turned towards Makoto. People may have needed something to hold onto that felt as powerful as what they’d been facing, but Makoto wasn’t the only one that fought, and he wasn’t possessing some inhuman ability to always resist despair or anguish. Makoto is both exceptional in his determination and stubbornness to keep moving forward and being optimistic, and also not in the slightest, because it isn’t a talent. It isn’t an ultimate ability, it isn’t something no one else can measure up to. His uniqueness comes from his ability to choose that even if he’s standing alone. But, like I said, he’s not immune, he’s not incapable of falling. He will just do everything in his power to resist up until the end, because that’s the decision he made.
It’s weird how he’s Schrödinger’s normal. He’s the most normal guy in the world, but his view of himself as such is also flawed. He isn’t nothing. In fact one could say it’s abnormal that he’s so normal. And he DOES have something that is unique about him, even he can’t deny that fact despite trying to downplay it. He’s optimistic. He’s chosen to try and be positive or at the very least choose to keep going forward in life. That IS abnormal to an extent, despite not being some ultimate, or something no one else is capable of. It is abnormal to never entertain the idea of slowing down, getting bored, or giving up. But at the same time, Makoto DID have moments like that in the game. The only time he really stopped doing that was in the final chapter, when he was pushed to his absolute limit and those parts of him exaggerated themselves so that he could feel like he could survive. He’s the weirdest normal guy alive, I guess.
Anyway I’m rambling and this probably doesn’t make sense bc I pulled an all nighter for the final class trial but I’m losing my mind over Makoto Naegi all the time
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crossbackpoke-check · 20 days
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the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything
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kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend
#i’m so glad i saw this now and not when i was deranged at 2AM last night (i say as if i am not currently deranged)#like i had to physically pause. stop watching the video. to take notes to tell you guys about it i hope you know#holyjost thank u i love u i appreciate u & how u always have the sources 😭#i send out a prayer to the universe (put shit in the tags) & u provide#liv in the replies#holyjost#i love this reaction image btw it is one of my FAVORITES#anyway i was just chilling and then lost it at the ‘brandon just says shit’ part and had to start writing down notes (as follows)#there is SO much. the lore. the fact that brandon lasts two seconds before his shirt comes off everyone else is so bundled#dewey2 immediate “sharks” girl help the two of them on the bean bag together#the boat competition BOLDY’S CONTRACT??? yeah i AM thinking about that in a weird way what kind of contract brandon#also boldy motion sickness girlie he’s so real for that one 😭😭#and brandon talking a big game and then like fuckin. curled into a ball on the beanbag passed out bro i cannot.#LD BONITA? LD BONITA FISH??? So excitedly???? my GOD.#LEAVE THAT POOR FISH ALONE!!!!#oh the shark lore 🥺 dewey baby let me take you to this fantastic thing called an aquarium.#you can pet sharks there!!! i can’t even. i know i’ve seen it and had a breakdown about it before but connor’s hand when he pets the shark#the absolute joy oh my god. connor PLEASE ik u want to touch all the fish… we have sturgeon & sting rays & jellies#brandon praising connor’s attitude 🫡 he is so goal oriented they said the goal is a vibe check and connor studied.#also. save me hot brothers save me#what the fuck is this yeti cup ritual give me a cult au NOW wkdndiwkdi they’re such freaks. i love it. also just drink it bro#VLADDY MENTION THAT’S MY BOY HI BEAUTIFULLLLL#OH THIS WAS THE MIDDSY FIGHT???#awww Freddy (who i never think is a forward??)#connor dewar#brandon duhaime#minnesota wild#for reference!
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katierosefun · 3 months
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modern family is all fun and games until you get to the scenes where you burst into tears because the once-vaguely homophobic dad now refers to his son's husband as family, and also the academically gifted daughter realizes that her dorky, clumsy dad was always really proud of her and just never surprised because he just assumed she could do anything, and also the eldest daughter who eloped comes crawling back to her parents' room and whispers that she still wants her parents to be present for her wedding, and also the anxious queer lawyer character admits that he was terrified that his husband would just leave him alone with their baby daughter, and also that the once-vaguely grouchy dad looks at his stepson and tells him that what makes a family is who sticks around, not who you're blood-related to and anyways what was i saying
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scatterbrainedbot · 3 months
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ZACH OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY?!!! IM SO SORRY OFERJGFERN IM SO MAD IM ONLY FINDING OUT NOW.
IM SENDING YOU ALL THE GODDAMN AMAZING VIBES AND HUGS AND BEST TIMES EVER IN THE WORLD. TY FOR BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL LIGHT IN THIS COMMUNITY AND ABSOLUTELY FEEDING US WITH YOUR ENDLESS RICH CREATIVITY AND BEAUTIFUL MIND!!! YOUR PASSION, ART, AND REFLECTIONS NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME AND FILL ME WITH SM HAPPY STIMS LIKE- AGH!!!!
IM GONNA STOP YELLING NOW BUT ILYSM /P AND HOPE ONLY THE BESTEST THINGS EVER HAPPEN FOR YOU AND AND YOUR THE BEST AND AHHHHHHHHH QAQ <33 <33 <3333333
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NO WORDS. ONLY CRY.
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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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bmpmp3 · 27 days
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and another thing about vocal synth fans: we will always find some adult male voicebank to turn into a funny little clown for our amusement. some guy to communally bully in our talkloids, the miserable straightman to the shenanigans, the sad little freak punchline to our jokes. it happened to kaito. it happened to gakupo. it happened genbu. it even happened a bit to kevin (although he seems to have looped around somehow). and it will happen to you too, frimomen. it will happen to you too.
#hell its already begun. or maybe he was born for this role. his origins being that of which they are#the other day i saw a favourite meal announcing dragon parody 'list of past girlfriends' with frimomen#and of course the joke was him going silent for the listing part <3 a classic but it still got me LOL#i dont know why we need to do this. i feel it too though. i see a grown ass man vocal synth and im like I NEED to make him swagless#child and teen vocal synths are mostly safe from our wrath (although we've definitely done a good bit of len bullying)#but the second i see a guy who pays his taxes i NEED to make fun of him <3 <3 <3#a vocal synth tradition. its a tradition#i dunno i was kinda thinking about genbus characterization and how in the japanese fanbase he kind of varies from what ive seen#sometimes hes a nice and calm guy with a tsundere edge. sometimes hes a goofy loud straightman to shenanigans#but overwhelmingly in the english speaking world in talkloids we turn him into this high energy beloved little freak LOL#and i love all characterizations. my own personal version is kind of all combined LOL hes friendly but a little too hype#to me he seems chill at first but is like 0-100 in like seconds <3 like his voicebank <3 <3 <3 i think he feels every emotion so so much#and absolutely suited to the straightman to hijinks role with his grumpier edge when hes embarassed#i also sometimes like to give him a bit of an unearned ego sometimes because of voicebank deprecation#hes clunky but he was the first!!! he was the first!!! hes not owned!!!! he slowly turns into a corncob#thats another characterization that mostly comes from the english speaking side LOL#TO ME genbu is like if ll nico was trying to put on a nice calm guy exterior instead of a cutesy idol exterior#which might be why genbu's becoming my favourite LOL nico was always my fav.....#going back to our favourite little guys to bully i will say nowadays kaito isnt bullied as much. because we have gakupo to bully instead#the bullying can pass on. frimomen. it can be inherited frimomen. watch out frimomen
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lecliss · 2 months
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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lilgayalienn · 2 years
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE/ AMC RENEWED FOR SEASON 2. SEASON 1 PREMIERS ON OCTOBER 2ND.
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It is not even out yet and has a season 2 that is some powerful shit yall do not understand. What the actual fuck is going on I am so freaking out. CONGRATULATIONS !!
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suffarustuffaru · 11 months
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rating some rezero ships by um. how good they could cover up murder together
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(feel free to read my tags for some explanations T^T)
#rezero#um. given the Various Moral Codes of these characters i figured this would be interesting to give my shot at..... and YES garf shaula and#cecilus are too fucking obvious HAH#not otto being in every single Success tier... except for the selling each other out / revenge one. yeah. yeah hes a bitch alright.#ok but i put rein/emilia there bc... ok i know their energy kinda similar to reinjulius but like i put rein/emilia there bc i feel like#theyd be like OH GOD OH GOD WE JUST DID THAT ON ACCIDENT OH MY GOD IF THIS GETS OUT THISLL BE BAD FOR ALL OUR LOVED ONES like theyd be#panicking and shit#while reinjuli would be like hahaha i am SO NOT OK but we gotta take accountability :(((((#ottosuba is like. literally not even a question that theyre all the way up there. theyd like pull similar shit to sunny and basil from omori#like theyd try to take their secret to the grave and theyd never be functional with each other ever again and then theyd go insane over what#theyve done. either that or theyd just murder some totally evil guy with basically next to zero regrets. otto was already the getaway driver#while subaru was killing petelgeuse in the back LMAO#i feel like with felix itd be like. if theres NO OTHER CHOICE hes gonna whip up reinhard and julius into shape and get them to actually do#it. we saw how he was when subaru was possessed by petelgeuse T^T#emilia rem are put that low bc i feel like theyd have no braincells to use to get out of this and of Course emilias freaking the fuck out so#i feel like whenever otto is paired with someone who has like More doubts and guilt and Panic about it otto would be like GET YOUR SHIT#TOGETHER WE HAVE TO DO THIS. which i feel is also what ram does with certain pairs.#damn... now i want fic where some random pair is trying to cover up murder for whatever reason...#i nearly put garf mimi higher up bc i feel like mimi Could and Perhaps Has gotten away with murder before already. but garf would be TOO#OBVIOUS....#rip mimi. ur a queen for being such a gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
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starkidlabs · 3 months
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Creepy guy liking all my posts on Instagram and commenting “U always look so beautiful” etc. etc. Why is my life like this. I want to die.
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everymlmhybrid · 5 months
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this part genuinely makes me feel like eating dry wall like i can't explain how i feel about it without making some of you finally tire of me and block me about it i think
#.txt#reservoir dogs -#sorry for just randomly posting clips . i was actually working on my vid i swear but then i started Thinking. and here we are.#anyways going genuinely insane in the tags . i'm so sorry. ->#(im only sorry for the sheer amount of tags or if u disagree w/ my interpretations / headcanons. if ur just annoyed lmfao sucks to be you!)#anyways. you guys ever think abt the way orange HAS TO know white's lying to him abt his odds of survival.#bc i think abt that genuinely constantly. all the time thinking about it.#also the ''joe's gonna get you 100% again'' -> first of all . lol. second of all -> ''he was the only one i wasn't 100% on'' hello? HELLO!!#also freddy's voice here makes me feel like punching walls . like it makes me wail in anguish.#no but yeah i think abt the theme of lying & the fact some of the first lies we hear are in this scene in a way#also this part is leaning wayyy harder on headcanon but i always think. like if orange WASNT lying abt who he is. then it'd be reasonable#forhim to not know how likely he is to die and/or how blatantly larry's lying (''i'm talking days!'') but as a cop he SOOO knows he's fcked#but like . what's he gonna do. ''hey i know that's bullshit'' like obviously not and partly bc of How he knows but also bc like#you just don't argue with the only guy who's caring for you while you're seemingly on the brink of death!! LMAO#and certainly not when he's the only one telling you you'll be fine!! even if he's just bullshitting you so you don't freak out!!#I DON'T KNOW i go kinda insane about this scene . as . you can tell.#if you too are insane about this and the implications . don't worry. in several months. my fic will feed you. you will see.#idk . larry lying to and/or for him <33333333 kinda makes me go insane. kinda makes me go wild.#idk. i should be getting ready for bed rn. WHATEVER. bye. logging off. if you read all these i'm in love with you okay#i've just been turngin them around in my head like a microwave for hours so i needed to infodump or else i would explode i think
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morkofday · 1 year
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if yall didn't know then yes, i'm insane about waikorn. today has been a big day
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lovebloods · 3 months
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#hiding this in the tags bc it’s kind of embarrassing and i need to get it off my chest#and i could journal about it but i just want someone to see me#sorry for being cringe <333#but i don’t know what the hell i am like i don’t know if i’m even nonbinary anymore and that scares me like being nonbinary felt like coming#home after a long trip#and now i’m having all these thoughts about wanting to be a man? like near tears rn bc i want to be a guy but then when i think of actually#being a guy i freak out a bit#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly#and i feel like all the men i see that i want to be like or look like are white! why don’t i see any black trans men like i feel so alone#and i’m scared to look/be openly trans bc there’s so much violence against people like us that it feels safer to just cosplay as a cis woman#even though i’m not#like i don’t want to be a boy but i want to be one and i absolutely don’t want to be a girl but i’d like to be seen as someone sometimes#it’s all very confusing#AND like i know i’m biromantic like im attracted to all genders and people#but im like? am i on the ace spectrum#bc i have a low sex drive am often sex repulsed and will sometimes ‘test’#myself to see if im sexually attracted to people and most of the time it’s like#it’s like meh not really but sometimes im like sure but that’s rarer and rarer these days?? and like. tmi here but i jerk off and enjoy it#so i can’t be asexual right?? i tried looking it up but the articles just confused me#but then i also am like with the right person if i had a connection to them i wouldn’t mind having sex with them! but like. then i think#about actually having to be in a relationship and i’m like gross no but i think that’s just relationship trauma and fear of being#vulnerable#and like i know i don’t HAVE to have a label on my gender or sexuality but for me personally it helps to know What i am#and and i love butches so so so much and if i’m a man how can i love butches? like#it’s all so confusing#i feel like i’m 14 and going through puberty again
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