#lt livestream

[hlupdate]

charlielightening: Louis Tomlinson ‘LT livestream’ in lockdown, 2 years ago today. Really proud of this show, to creative direct this with such a great team, was so happy with how it all turned out. So much has happened since then and Louis just gone from strength to strength and the fact it has a Guinness Book of Records was a real moment.

[stelloulas]

🌎 #fitfwtlatam: the outfits. part three.

[braverytattoos]

AOTV - Livestream Event on VEEPS

[heymeowmao]

 2022.09.28 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324818741396635821

[Truthfully - A1 TRIP & DOBI]

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~ C: What a surprise that you’ve come to stream today! LYN: Are you not part of my fan board? I already posted an announcement saying that I would stream a little tonight. C: I finally caught it! LYN: You finally did, huh? I hope next time you can subscribe and next time you can also catch it because it will tell you when I am streaming. 

C: Have you recovered from your cold? LYN: I’ve been recovered. It’s not like I was afflicted for two months, it was just a few days. I heard people say that for colds if you don’t take medicine you’ll be okay in seven days, but if you do take medicine you’ll be okay in five. This is the difference between taking and not taking medicine. 

C: Have you eaten? LYN: I haven’t because... I’m on a diet. (I’ve eaten). /being dramatic/ I’ve eaten nothing at all today- just skin and bones- I haven’t even had water. Oh- I should drink water. LYN: Let me grab my cup! - /water asmr/ LYN: Cheers! C: Ning-ge, are you drinking 55% Er Guo Tou? LYN: /picks up the water bottle to look at it in disbelief/ How can I be drinking alcohol while streaming? I’d be cursed to death! Also, I met a friend today, and as we were chatting they asked if I usually drink. I told them I don’t drink, and they said I don’t look like the type. Adding to that the fact that I am from Dongbei it seems like me NOT consuming alcohol is a very strange thing. Let’s not talk about Dongbei- I have some friends from Inner Mongolia, and THEY can’t drink, either. You alcohol tolerance doesn’t have anything to do with where you come from? Perhaps the stereotype is that most people from these regions can hold their liquor but even so there are outliers who can’t. I am that outlier. Let me tell you all about my tolerance- one bottle of beer and I start to cry. All the injustices I’ve faced in my whole life come to the forefront and I start to cry. After two bottles of beer, I pretty much can’t walk anymore. These two long legs of mine become chopsticks. They’re not very easy to use.  C: You start to cry, even. LYN: What? Is crying after one bottle of beer make me sound too girly? No, right? It’s just because that we live in a harsh society and everyone has a lot of pressure. C: You don’t (seem girly). LYN: Firstly, my tolerance is low and secondly, I don’t really enjoy drinking. I don’t find any pleasure in it. People always say that when they drink they can experience some happiness, but I don’t. The only thing I feel is uncomfortable- I get a headache. Also- when I drink it shows on my face. It doesn’t matter how little the amount- one mouthful of red wine and my face is flushed. Sometimes veteran actors have told me that if I have an emotional scene, I should have a shot of liquor to bring up my emotions. When I first started acting I tried it out once- I bought and drank half a bottle of beer and I didn’t feel any of the effects of the alcohol, but my whole face was red. I said, “Director, my face is so red, do you think we can still shoot the scene?” Fro then on, I don’t dare to drink while filming. 

C: Lao-da, your bangs are longer. LYN: I put them in front of my face on purpose. So I can cover up some of my ugly, and also don’t I look more ~melancholy~? A Melancholy Guy (忧郁男子). Because from what I see there are two impressions people have of LYN: 1. LYN sings a lot of OSTs. and 2. LYN is a COMEDIAN. I’m a comedian??? I’m OBVIOUSLY a cool guy. Everyone says so.  LYN: Lately I’ve been criticized online for being ugly- it’s the most criticized I’ve ever been before. I mean, people have always said I was ugly, but lately it’s A LOT. I’m having mental break. I don’t even dare to eat- I only drink water. (joking) That’s why when I play games or the Switch, you know how you can name your character? All my names are designated as “Handsome/Cool Boy” (帅气男孩). This is truth. Not because I believe I am, but because I am trying to convince myself that I am. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter. C: You don’t want “Shaolin Master (少林师)” anymore? LYN: The Shaolin Master has expired. All my usernames used to be that, but now I want to turn over a new leaf, so I’m Handsome Boy now.

C: Are night scenes tiring? LYN: I actually like shooting night scenes better than day scenes. Why? Because my appearance- let’s use a few different methods to explain why- appearance-wise, I have a small nose and small eyes. There are few artists or actors in this industry with eyes/nose smaller than mine. So in the daytime, with my already small eyes and the sun shining down on them, it seems like my eyes are pretty much closed. A Chinese pancake with two red dates for eyes. In the daytime I like to close my eyes a little- I can’t open them very big - because the sun is too bright- it hurts my eyes, because I have astigmatism. So when I have shoots in the daytime my eyes are really small. But at night it’s better, because no matter how bright the lights are, I can take it. I just don’t like the sun. But with night scenes the bright light makes the makeup look heavy. C: Ning-ge, your eyes aren’t that big to begin with. LYN: ... I wasn’t talking about the Shandong Round Dates, I was talking about those... small wild dates.

C: You caught a cold? LYN: I had one, there are still some after-effects. I still SOUND like I’m sick, but everything else is ok. C: After your cold, your voice sounds much more charming~ LYN: Look at that~ I think... oh- the “bubble” sound seems to have gotten stronger. So it turns out that you all find this type of sound charming- when it sounds like you have a motor in your mouth? Like a motorcycle!  LYN: I see online that guys record clips of themselves saying some great quotes- well, sometimes they’re not great, but just cheesy pick-up lines- but when they speak, you have two things to focus on: 1. The “bubble” sound, and 2. Make it breathy. Let me show you an example, with some song lyrics. - /demonstrates/ LYN: Start it with the bubble and end it with a breath. C: You need a good nasal tone. LYN: No, nasal tone ~sounds like this~

C: I’m using my data to watch. LYN: It’s better to find someplace with wifi, because my stream is extremely HQ. Watching 2-3 hours of my stream is like watching a movie. Think about it- if you watch an HQ movie with your phone how much would it cost you in data?? I firmly believe that if you use your roaming data to watch my stream... unless you are very rich, then you can watch with your data. But I suggest finding wifi- I think one stream will use up at least 1-2GB, right? I don’t know, I’ve never tried it. C: No. For you it’s worth it. (paying for roaming data) LYN: Am I supposed to be touched by you saying that? I told you not to watch my stream with data, because it would cost you at least 1-2GB, that’s about 5RMB; and someone says, “No! For you, spending this 5RMB is worth it.” Thank you. XD

C: Lao-da, are you singing today? LYN: I can! If you want to hear something, I can sing it later.

C: How long has the stream been on? LYN: Just five minutes. You didn’t miss anything. I didn’t say anything at all prior to this. 

C: Don’t sing, your voice can’t take it. LYN: What nonsense are you saying? I’m a singer. I can’t too arrogantly say that I’m an actor, because right now I don’t have too many works out yet. But I can confidently say that I’m a singer. I’m alright, though- because as a singer I think we should be able to overcome some discomfort regarding our voices. I once experienced a situation- and that day my throat hurt badly and my voice was hoarse but I had a performance, and it was being streamed live. That was the only time I really felt the pressure. Other times even when my throat hurts, I know that work is work and when I have to sing, I have to sing. C: Ning-ge, I want to hear WSL’s songs. LYN: /squints/ If you want to hear WSL’s songs, go to HIS weibo and leave a message. What are you chatting with me for? Go tell him. How ignorant.  C: WSL says he wants copyright royalties. LYN: I don’t know- do you need a copyright to sing his songs? Wait- of course you do. But if I send him a message and say, “Long-ge, I want to sing a couple of your songs in my stream. Can you not ask me to pay a fee?” I think he would show my some face. Of course, it’s not all about the copyright.

C: Ning-ge, how are you with riding horses now? LYN: Riding a horse? I’m alright- which is to say, I CAN ride them. I can ride them, but if you want me to flip upside-down and pick something from the ground and get back up- that I can’t do. But normally for going forward and turning back, those movements I am capable of.  C: Will you still be scared into crying when you ride? LYN: Ehm... I cried once, and then after that I was able to hold it in. It’s too shameful. If I were a little kid- someone born after the 2000′s- it’d be okay for me to cry, cute even. The jiejie standing around would sympathize. But I’m already 30+. If this old face rides a horse and starts crying, do you think that would be cute? I can’t cry, so I’ve been holding it back. I don’t cry while riding, but then I’m off the horse and am in a resting area, I secretly bawl. Men’s tears are like this- they can’t be seen by others. They only fall in a place where others can’t see. C: Can you gallop? LYN: I won’t say anything more. I ride a lot in Floating World, you can watch that when it’s out. You can also watch the dramas I’ve shot before. There were scenes where I galloped. It’s possible for even me. 

C: Will Zi Chuan air this year? LYN: I’m 80% sure it will air by the end of the year. I’ve been contacted to go back and supplement the voice acting. I’ll do that in early October, and when it’s all done I guess it can air by the end of the year. I think it will be able to, so you can watch Zi Chuan this year.  LYN: But I want to say to my fans- that even though I’ve debuted for about four years now, and have been shooting dramas for three of them, but all I’ve ever acted as is supporting characters. It’s either third, fourth, or maybe second male lead. I’ve been eighth male before, and have also cameo’d in a few things. But up until now I’ve always been support. I know a lot of my fans hope to see more of me, but I really don’t have a lot of scenes in those dramas before. Zi Chuan, for example, in 48 episodes I only have about 200 scenes. In Heroes BCF had 360 scenes. So it’s not much; most of my scenes (Zi Chuan) are in the second part- which we haven’t filmed yet. For Floating World I only have 191 scenes.  C: Feng-feng? LYN: Oh, WCF (Hot Blooded Youth)? That was my first drama, so I don’t think I have an impression of how many scenes I did. It wasn’t a small amount, in any case. C: It took you 5 months to shoot 191 scenes? LYN: All good works need to “refine gold into powder”. That’s right. For every production every person needs to have the mindset of a craftsman. No production is created willy-nilly. Every great actor needs hundreds and thousands of hours of hard work and effort, to have experienced great trials, before they can be considered a real actor. So I think being an actor is extremely difficult. [t/n: making up for his past slip, where he said acting was easy X’D] LYN: Why did it take 5 months to shoot 191 scenes? Because there were too many fight scenes!! We were fighting every day and for nothing at all. I told you about it, Zhuo Bufan is the best swordsman in the world, so he is always looking for a fight. There were so many fight scenes... but when I experience these things I might think they are torturous in the moment- seeing my schedule filled with “fight scene” day after day just gives me a headache- but when you look back on it, you would be thankful for the experience. Really. Because for this drama I have a few fight scenes as well- not a lot, but not a little- but I had a sudden feeling that I’ve made a breakthrough. I don’t know if you’ve ever worked at something for a long time and then suddenly get the feeling you understand everything perfectly? I think I’ve had a breakthrough with fight scenes. Because most of them are a set of moves, but when I got to this drama I suddenly felt that when the stunt teacher showed it to me once, I could remember it already. It’s like in the wuxia novels and the student and master and exchanging blows, and the third person just watching on learned by observation! I was in disbelief- how could you learn such a long martial art just by watching?? There’s no way. But then when it actually happens, I see that it’s because you’ve pretty much learned all the basic moves before. It’s just the same: hack, slash, swipe, block, kick. Only the order changes. // So I thank my previous drama for the training. I had a hard time, but I gained something from it.  LYN: I still need to say, though- I still can’t do fight scenes well. I didn’t say I was any good, I just wanted tot thank my previous drama for the training. I spent five months shooting for Floating World and I think it was worth it. Of course, I also improved the slightest in my performance, but I most want to thank it for honing my fight skills. // Every drama I finish, there is something I learn the most from it, Floating World just happened to be how to do fight scenes.

C: What shade of foundation does Ning Yuanzhou use? LYN: /laughs/ People seem to be very interested in my character’s foundation, because I was suppressed by No.13 once. When shooting for Floating World I had shade No.13. A lot of people may not know because they don’t use or have no experience with make-up. Shade No.13 is... not very frequently used by us yellow-toned individuals. Do you understand? That is- even if you want to buy it in this country, you’d be hard-pressed to find it. No one buys it, so why should places stock it? But the drama sourced it from overseas and applied it to my face- that’s just the look we were going for. It really made me consider my appearance. I’d see myself in the mirror- and I’m talking to myself now! /looking at the camera/- “Alright. This is fine. Let me just perform my part well, and see if I can improve upon my acting.” There’s no way anyone would start to like my face after watching this drama. LYN: I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror. As we were shooting and the makeup artist tells me it’s time to touch up, I told them, “No need. Do you think this /gestures to his face/ needs any touching up?” But honestly- when you’re living in the moment it’s easy for people to be confused, right? I don’t know if you’ve experienced this: only after you come back from experiencing something and have time to reflect, can you think clearly- so I think that this role was actually very good. Because it allowed me, as the actor Liu Yuning, to be able to really get into character. In looking at the guzhuang drama’s I’ve done until now, there hasn’t really been a change in dress and appearance- is there a difference? Yes. But not drastically- because it’s always going to be this same face. It’s still going to be me acting. But this character was unique in that it was so different from the others, so I really enjoyed it. LYN: So let’s get back to the topic of Ning Yuanzhou’s foundation. At the time, I thought Floating World would be when I was most troubles by my appearance, but I didn’t think that this day would come, because NOW I am troubles by my appearance. This just goes to prove that once you jump over one of life’s hurdles another one will be waiting. There might be another hurdle, or perhaps... a pit. You can never tell! :D C: So what shade do you use? LYN: When we first started off I was very pale- we used either No. 2 or No. 3. I say both because they used both... for a shade No. 2.5. I never knew! It turns out you can mix the colors for foundation, too. I always thought that you were set for either 2 or either 3. But now they mix it! As we kept shooting, they told me, “Ning-ge, should we use a lighter shade?” and I asked them, “Why? Is it because you think I’m too ugly?” They said, “No!” well of course they would say that, out of politeness. It was because all the other male actors had were lighter than me, so then I secretly took a peek at what shade THEY were using. All less than me. How can this be acceptable? If the five of us were in the same frame it’d be four pale faces and one dark one! I’d look like the waiter! That’s no good. We’ve got to one-up them! You’ll notice that if there’s some event and a group of artists take a picture, inevitably the conversation will turn to focus on who is the palest- and therefore the “prettiest”. (It’s really like that!)- there will be a comparison. So in this case, it’s no good, and I should adjust the color of my foundation, too. We switched to No.2, but after I few days I got the feeling... it’s TOO white. D: I’m a really straight male, alright. So I can’t stand if I am saying some serious/urgent things and my face is just- sheet white. So later I told them I could go back to the darker shade, so I can look manlier. Because “men have to fight”. [t/n: referencing that song, again.] Lately- if I’ve gotten tan they’ll use a mix of 2 and 3. If we’re shooting in the tent, we’ll use no.3. - /suddenly breaks out into “Men Have to Fight” for two lines/

C: Ning-ge, have you turned on the big eyes (beauty filters)? LYN: No, I don’t use those strange effects when I stream, like fixing the shape of my nose or eyes. I only use the blur tool... and the slimming effect, just a little. Just the blur tool, to make my skin look a little better. Because I’m always in front of the camera, anyway. I’ve been on variety shows, so you all know what I look like already! I go on shows, I perform at events. It’s not like I’m wearing a mask around in life. When I’m streaming for three hours at a time, I hope that even if you’re not my fan you can still be able to see something passable, and at the very least not be annoyed by how I look. Right? If I sit here looking ugly and you start to become annoyed at me, then I’d be done for. So just a little blurring effect. It’s enough. It’s not like we’re filming some documentary, and even if we were- nature/food documentaries still touch up the colors. They also add filters to make the image appear more beautiful. It’s normal. Don’t get hung up on this. But I really haven’t turned on the “big eyes” filter.

C: Ning-ge, I haven’t seen one of your stage performances in so long! LYN: ... I don’t think there have been any stages for me to be on, lately. A few events have invited me, but I rejected them. Not because I’m so amazing! But because my current drama.. it’s a pretty complicated role and I don’t want to split my attention. Honestly, everyday I- - /Daimi barking/ LYN: Other than filming, I don’t really want to do anything else right now. When I used to shoot dramas, I would also find some time to play games and relax, or go out for a meal with friends. But this time I’m not interested in any of that. I’m giving this role 120%- not because I’m professional, but maybe because I’m dumb. I don’t have enough mental capacity to think of other things. I apologize, I’m a bit more foolish than most. C: You’re addicted. LYN: I really am. I have to thank the drama, for that. I always want to tell my fans- my friends- just trust me. Let’s all wait for the result. :)

LYN: But anyway, I’m just here to chat a little. I haven’t really go anything planned. If you want to hear a few songs, I can sing. Lately I’ve released a song called “浮生 (Floating Life)” [Floating Life: Fantasy World] (t/n: somehow related to Floating World)... I won’t sing it yet, but maybe next time. I’ll wait for it to near the end of its run before I sing it. LYN: It was a bit difficult for me- especially the rap part. I’m really not great at it. Sometimes I think about what I want to sing during my streams, and the other day I heard this song: “麒麟 (Kirin)” (早安 Zao An, Rap of China). // I wanted to study this song and then sing it for you for entertainment, because I’ve seen a lot of people covering this song. I wanted to try. But when I try to sing this my mouth can’t catch up.  C: The tone of voice doesn’t suit you. LYN: What do you mean? I don’t sound as good a him, sure, but- /clears his throat/ This must be a new friend. C: Try it out, ge. LYN: Let’s check it out together, because the lyrics are kind of long. Let me see if I can even READ it. - /starts reciting lyrics, and it devolves into an old-timey style Dongbei rap/ LYN: Let me see if I can get it down. The fast parts are more difficult. For this part, my brain can still follow. - /continues/ LYN: You know there’s this style of performing rap- which is he sings everything else, and I’m in charge of following along with the last three words. - LYN: Someone said ZXD-laoshi is here? Welcome, welcome~ I’m discussing music with my friends. Welcome, please watch for a bit. - LYN: So let’s try rapping, but only following along with the latter three words. The front is “Are you ready?! afjkdla”- could we try it? C: Forget it, ge. LYN: If you kept telling me to try, I would forget it. But now that you told me to forget it, I really want to try. Should I... try? // Why is it telling me there are no lyrics?? If there aren’t any, then let’s not push it. We could play the original track and hum along...  - /fudges his way through 麒麟 (Kirin) by 早安 Zao An/; /adds in a bunch of “are you ready?”s for the hype/ *(t/n: I say “fudges” because he is making noises but only really saying the last word of the rap parts, but when it gets slow enough for him to follow it’s good! XD) LYN: I muddled my way through. LYN: Rap, to me, is very difficult. My mouth can’t move that fast. /huffing/ This (rapping) really requires some stamina. I didn’t even really sing, but it feels like I’ve already done two sets of sit-ups. You really need core strength to sing these songs.

LYN: How about this, friends- /setting up the bathroom break/ Shh! I think my neighbors are fighting. Friends, I think they’re fighting. You listen. It’s real this time! Let me go take a look, so that no lives are lost. I’ll go take a look. Wait for me. I’ll play you a vcr. - bathroom break #1

- /comes back without missing a few outer layers/ LYN: One song has made me very hot. I’ve taken my clothes off! C: How did the neighbor’s fight go? LYN: They “died” most miserably. But after I intervened they were able to calm down. So I sang them 童话 (Fairytale). “I forgot how long it’s been since I’ve heard your voice. Since I’ve heard you tell your favorite story. I thought for a long time and started to panic. Have I done something wrong?” So I sang them this song and they reconciled. In just a short three minutes I saved a lovely relationship. C: We want to hear it, too! LYN: I’ll sing it for you. Let’s see if I can save your relationships. Are there any fans out there who are having a spat with their husbands? XD He doesn’t want you to watch LYN’s streams, but you are so you’ve had a fight. Now I’ll sing this song for you to make amends. - /童话 (Fairy Tale) [Guang Liang]/ (& tries to splice it with a couple different songs XD) LYN: That’s why, music can really redeem a person. A short “Fairytale” saved a relationship. C: Ning-ge, I am having a fight with my husband. We’re considering a divorce. LYN: What, divorce? Don’t mess around. Happily live your life together. If you can get by peacefully, then live well.

C: Ning-ge, you’re so gentle today. LYN: When was I ever mean? Tell me, when was I not gentle?!? I think I’m a pretty calm/neutral person. C: You’re getting fierce right now. LYN: No, that’s because I’m streaming. Normally I’m a very good person to get along with. If you talk about me to people who’ve met me, and ask them if they get along with me, they’ll say that I am good to get along with. Because I don’t normally interact in the first place. So really, they don’t know if I AM good to get along with, but I just seem like someone who would be. I can attest- I am a very good person to get along with. LYN: /reading comments/ Alright, let’s not let it get to our heads. I told you I’m good to get along with, and some of you are saying, “Let’s meet up and prove that.”

LYN: I won’t stream long today, only until about 10p. I came here to keep my promise to you, because I really don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to stream is. I’ll be busy later, when I start to record some OSTs, and do some voice acting... ALZ has called me to do voice acting, so in-between shootings I’ll go do that. C: Ning-ge, have you decided on your next drama yet? LYN: I’m not that good- there’s really not a market for me. I don’t have anything yet. The next one is proving difficult to find. // I’ve been caught up with the current drama’s script, so I haven’t really looked at any new scripts. Of course, they’ve been sent to me, but I don’t have the interest in finding another just yet- I just want to finish this one first. I know that media accounts are saying that I’ve been cast for a few, but I haven’t yet. I haven’t had the time to look. I don’t have work (after YNGS). LYN: I know a lot of you are afraid that I don’t have any work, but don’t be. I am very realistic when it comes to my business practices. I won’t let myself go without work for long. From an outside perspective of those who don’t know me- you might think that I’m a failure, that I’m just wasting away and not getting anywhere (climbing up the ladder) in the industry. The people who say this don’t understand me. I am really the type who won’t let myself slow down- I need to have work. But not only do I need work, I need good work. Like working with brilliant actors like Tao-jie- to me, that is “good” work. 

LYN: Oh? Is she here? See- when you mention Tao-jie, Tao-jie comes. LYN: When you compliment someone to their face it seems a little fake, so that’s why you have to compliment them behind their backs. When I was complimenting Tao-jie just now, I had no idea she was watching my stream. It doesn’t tell me. ZXD, also- is a very good actress. Is she gone? LYN: I haven’t spoken much about Tao-jie, because I wanted to tell you about it when the drama started airing. But I had a very good time while shooting for ZZJDG (BYOL). A lot of crews just think of it as work, but with this crew we all had a great time. I think Tao-jie is a very mature and brilliant actor; she’s taught me a lot on set. I’m not just saying this to be a good business partner, I really secretly learned a lot of techniques from (observing) her. C: Connect with her. LYN: I’m afraid I don’t have the right to. C: Beautiful and kind. LYN: She really is. C: Would we be lucky enough to see Liu Tao and Liu Yuning connect on stream? LYN: Um... you aren’t that lucky. You might not be. LYN: She left. See? She came to watch my stream and you’re all pushing us to connect. Who do you think you are? There’s no way she could just randomly chat with you all.  LYN: But Tao-jie took really good care of me. She guided me while acting- very good actors can make it so that you invest your emotions and the scene plays out naturally. It was really comfortable filming with her. // I’m really very attached to the drama, so I was thinking that when it wraps- even though it’s already wrapped for me- I want to go back to Chengdu for the wrap party. That’s what I want to do, but it depends on if my schedule allows. C: Are you a very emotional person? LYN: I’m alright. I’m just very grateful for the actors and the drama crews that have worked with me. You all know that I am a pretty excitable person- you can tell by how I speak to you most of the time. But I can make myself more balanced out. I really am grateful to everyone I’ve worked with, and even though we may never see each other again, in the time that I have spent with them I really respect them. 

LYN: Oh- where was I? People were saying that I just let myself waste away. But just think of where I started. I’ve only debuted four years and HOW many songs have I released?? If I were a failure, why would I have released so many? So I’m not- I just give it my all. It has nothing to do with hard work- I’m just investing my everything. Because I don’t want to let myself have nothing to do. This applies to dramas, too. I started officially acting in 2021- once I started I haven’t really stopped. I’ve picked up one after another, so I won’t let myself stop now.  C: Four years, 117 songs. LYN: Right? So if we average it out its... 30 songs a year. With twelve months in a year, that means I had to have released 2.5 songs every month. For a singer to release 2.5 songs every month- think about the probability. How many singers do you know can release 2.5 songs in a month? I’ve also recorded a few OSTs this week that haven’t been released yet.

LYN: For those fans out there who are worried for my career- don’t worry. I know better than you what I need to be doing. And I’ve seen what people are saying about me online and I understand them- it’s just because they don’t know me. Of course, they are not required to know me, they don’t need to know me. Who am I, even? When people make posts online I think it’s just a short expression of their feelings. If they want to curse and slander me, let them. They don’t need to know me, and I totally understand. As long as I know what I am doing and what I need to do, that’s enough. I know what I want.

LYN: I shot my first drama in 2018- I debuted in 2018! How old does that make me? I debuted so late in life, do you think I dare let this opportunity go to waste?? The first drama I shot was the role Linghe Ent.’s Bai-laoshi gave me in Hot Blooded Youth. Honestly, at that time I really wanted to BE an actor, but didn’t think I had what it took. I thought I would take any chance I could get to even be a part of acting. Even after I finished with that drama, I still didn’t think I could even continue to be an actor. I only knew that if there was another chance, I would still take it. I was a singer- and didn’t consider that acting could become part of my career. I just thought that if someone wanted me to, I could act a little. Normally I would hold my concerts, release albums, and meet you through some variety shows and I was satisfied with that thought. LYN: I know people online are saying I have backers and resources. The truth is, a lot of people are giving me resources. A lot of people do give me work to do. But if you say that I have a company backing me- if you really know or understand this industry, you’ll know that it’s very small- you can go ask anyone if I have someone backing me. Go ask, and then you’ll know whether I really do have resources or backers. If I had anyone backing me, do you still think there would be so many people online slandering me? I have no one to control/subdue the comments. I’m free-range. LYN: Then, after HBY I went to shoot Ultimate Note. It was after the holiday break- I went to do a simple surgery and couldn’t sing for three months after. As a singer, being unable to sing, what else could I do?? I couldn’t stand the thought of me sitting around doing nothing. Coincidentally, Bai-laoshi came to me again with a drama (Ultimate Note) and gave me the role of Hei Yanjing. // I’m very thankful for Linghe’s Bai Yicong-laoshi because he’s the reason I was able to become an actor at all. And- I’ll be honest with you- when I was shooting HBY, he was already talking to me about Zi Chuan. But who would have known that though we talked about it in 2018, we only really got to film it in 2021. I’m thankful for the fact he brought me into this industry, and gave me my first two dramas. LYN: My third drama was The Long Ballad. Even after shooting the first two, I was still unclear on what it meant to be an actor. I didn’t think of it- not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think I had the right to. There are so many actors already, and there was no one out there who knew that LYN was now acting, so even if they had any scripts they wouldn’t know to consider me. It just so happens that I got to know Bai-laoshi, and he considered me for a few productions. I never thought that I NEEDED to be an actor, because I didn’t think I had the right or the resources. It’s only after you’ve worked with a crew and some directors/producers that the work follows- but I didn’t have that to start. But the director of The Long Ballad- Chu Yuibin- he was my first (real) director. I started to chat with him- we get along very well now- and he said, “Xiao Ning, after your first day on set I nearly had a breakdown. I could tell you’re a rookie who’s never acted before.” The only thing I could do was agree. I’d never done a (guzhuang) drama before, what was a crew, even?? But he said that after a month of filming he felt more at ease with me. I was able to get into character. Up until that point I was just acting on instinct- it might not have been perfect, but at least it was real. He told me I got a lot better when I started to act as the bad guy (bc the scenes are shot out of order), and was I perhaps a bad guy to begin with? If he didn’t acknowledge I had something back then, he would never have recommended me for anything else after. LYN: He was the one who recommended me for The Long Ballad, so I guess you can say that he’s my backer. I met up with him to discuss this project, and this was well before I knew any of the producers. He asked if I would consider the role, and after he sent the script to me told me to meet with the producers, so they could “check out the goods”, so to speak. This is the normal process- you have to meet with the producers so that they can see how well you know the character, and how well you fit in with their bigger picture. We went for that first meeting in Beijing and it was pretty stiff, because none of us knew each other then. Chu-laoshi kept speaking for me, and trying to get me to chip in. You know me, with my Dongbei personality. If it’s a really big boss, I keep quiet; But if it’s a normal conversation you want, I can give it to you. I speak very realistically, and won’t try to pretend and put on airs because I know exactly how I started out. I’m a normal person, so I spoke to them as any normal person would. We started to get along quite nicely. Of course, no decisions were made at the table that night but they contacted me later and asked if I would accept the role. 

C: You sure can hold a conversation. LYN: If you get to know me in person, you’ll know that I’m not actually very good at it. Sometimes I can say things that might have you taken aback, but that’s just because I like to say practical things. I don’t like to pretend, and I hate the type of people who do. Hao Du is that type of person. XD After I finished shooting CGX- it hadn’t even aired yet, and neither had UN- I only had one drama out and it was HBY- which didn’t have good viewership. But it was after I finished with CGX that I felt like I started to LIKE acting. I said in an interview around that time as well, not only did I want to be an actor, I wanted to be a good actor. LYN: I had a sudden breakthrough with acting. Do you know what I mean? All of a sudden you have an epiphany and everything becomes clear. Like riding a bike- at first you may use your legs to push you along, but suddenly your feet are on the pedals and you get moving, and it all makes sense. You struggle and fall, and struggle and fall. But in one moment you’re riding smoothly and you’ve got it down. A lot of skills are like this- you have a sudden breakthrough. I got this feeling after finished CGX- suddenly I knew what acting WAS. The first two dramas I got through blind, but now I understood. If you wanted me to explain, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know whether I acted well or not, but I knew what I needed in order to act. I don’t mean that suddenly I was a genius, just that I knew what I had to do- even if I wasn’t good at the execution. From then on I told my studio that we would try out being an actor, because I has started to like acting. CGX was my first guzhuang drama, AND the first drama I was able to do the voice acting for; I consider it one of the more important dramas in my acting career. My experience with this drama was the one that really confirmed whether I could cut it as an actor or not. LYN: When I was shooting CGX, everyone knows that I pretty much didn’t have anything out at the time. People didn’t know who I was or if I could act. Of course, I don’t act well, even now. I always tell my fans not to go out and tell people about my acting- I’m working on it. I’m still learning. I’ve been with my acting coach for three years, now.

LYN: Bai Choufei- I think is a very good role. When we meet up I tell my friends that I met the best role at the best time. There’s something I gained from every role I’ve played. No matter what that role was, it must have a positive trait. I can say that I’m Liu Yuning. My personality is just how you see it, my experiences and perspective are limited, my talent is for streaming, my ability is for singing, and now I can act. But each role I’ve acted has positive traits that are unique and brought out by the characters themselves. I think something that’s fun and that can make me grow is if the positive traits of these characters that I’ve acted- that I’ve brought to life- can become a part of me. This is one of the reasons why I like being an actor. I used to be all over the place, but after acting as Luo Mingxi (ALZ) I’ve calmed down considerably. XD But BCF was the best role for me at the time because he gave me space to perform. I could act with as much energy as I wanted.  LYN: I was chatting with Liying, and she told me that she watched Heroes. I asked her how she think I did. Even though by asking her you could say I was fishing, but I thought I would ask, between friends. She told me that she could tell I was putting my effort into the act. Of course I would! I’d never be able to find such a role in 800 years, I had to make the most of it! There was a lot of room to perform the character of BCF, and so many ways you could interpret the character. But what’s aired is what is conveyed to the viewers and what I have to take responsibility for. LYN: It’s just because the difference was so vast. In the beginning he was just a young man with wild ambition, but then later he went crazy. Later he was perverse! The thing is, when you have to play a character who has two wildly different personalities at the same time- forget it, I won’t talk about this too deeply. Why? Because I don’t understand, either. But there was a lot of space to perform this character, so it was really satisfying. Really satisfying. You now how people say you need to learn how to reserve a little when you’re acting, but there is a time and place to go all out? With BCF you could go all out, all the time. It was okay no matter what I did. But if I were to have gone all out and then reserved myself again- that would be strange. It was a test of how much I could express. LYN: It was a really great role... even though it didn’t air very well. Of course, I was cursed at. I guess Hao Du was okay, because he was a likable character in the end. But Bai Choufei was a bad egg through and through. I saw people trying to stir up trouble, saying how I voiced my lines was too weak. There were some fans I couldn’t control back then, and they went out and spread the news that I was voice acting for my own lines. Next time, you don’t have to go and publicize this for me. There’s no need. Naturally, people acknowledged the fact that I DID do my own voice acting, but also said that I did it badly. They said I was lacking energy/sounded weak. I think that if you want to say that I executed my lines poorly, you shouldn’t give details because then I’ll fight back. You’re saying my voice is weak? I’m a singer. How could my voice be weak, you tell me? How could I? It’d be alright if you said my Mandarin was no good, but I can’t stand that you called my voice weak. That makes it sound like you’re a doctor and you’ve deduced my poor body condition. That’s why- please don’t go into details. Just say I didn’t execute my lines well and leave it at that.

LYN: You all know how I speak from watching me stream- I don’t use my head voice, I’m using my chest voice. So there’s no way I could sound “weak”. You can sound weak when you use your head voice but my natural voice comes from low. I’m a singer! Sometimes I even wonder if I’m too masculine. When I’m acting opposite someone I will be saying my lines and then suddenly think to myself whether or not I sound too old. I’ll ask the director about it, too. Because actually every role has a tone of voice that suits them- it depends on what you’re acting as. If you’re acting as a general or someone people rely on, your sound can’t waver too much. - /gives examples/ LYN: Do if you want to curse me, just do it outright (and not find petty excuses). LYN: When I talk to people, even, I wonder if I sound too old. Should I make myself sound younger? // But I’m pretty good at imitating sounds.

C: What sound do you use for Jiang Junhao? LYN: JJH is just my own voice. C: Luo Mingxi? LYN: For this character, you have to take his condition into consideration. When I’m done with the voice acting for this role I’m SURE people will say that my lines are weak. LMX himself is someone quite weak with lots of ailments. Think about it- if someone sick and frail were to say his lines like this: /rough & with power/- there’s no way. He has to speak a little airily, a little slowly.  C: Psychotically. LYN: He’s not psychotic, even though that’s what I heard at first. He’s just sick. They’re two different things. He just has a weak body, so he has to speak more gently. “Psychotic” has more to do with the state of mind. LMX is perfectly sound of mind- he’s a normal person, still. It’s just that he might be a little more hard-hearted and cruel, is all. He’s not abnormal. // He can’t be too weak, though. He still has to sound like a man. ~I can’t make him out to be a eunuch, otherwise people would laugh at him.~ Also I’m 1.9m tall, how do you expect me to look weak/gentle? C: Why don’t you go play a eunuch, then? LYN: /laughs/ I can! I would, if someone wanted me to. I think it’s an interesting role. I won’t decline nor am I unwilling to try out any role. I can try it out, I don’t mind. We’re actors. C: Where would you find a 1.9m tall eunuch? LYN: DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HEIGHT?? What do you mean, huh? Are there no actors who have played a eunuch that are this tall?

LYN: Friends, let me tell you- I’ve been bullied while in this drama crew. The other male actors are too much. I never talk about someone behind their back, but today I’ll be the bad guy. One day FYL and I were shooting a scene together. As the scene went on, I started to sense that something was off.. because when we’re standing together, I had to look up at him. /re-enacting him looking (up) at FYL - pause - gives him a once-over - “have you gotten taller?”- looks him once-over again- “what’s the meaning of this?”/ I was dumbfounded! I turned my head and all of a sudden I had to look up at him! I don’t mean anything by it- I just mean that in my life thus far I have rarely ever had to look up at someone else. So that moment really surprised me. There are times when I can look another in the eyes, and that’s okay. But that day I had to look up at him. I said, “This is too abnormal, isn’t it?” He’s already 1.86-1.87, and he’s still over here trying to one-up me? What's he trying to do??? It went to my head. He can be more handsome than me, I don’t care. But my height is my only advantage in this industry, and he’s crushed me with a simple plastic insole?? Does LYN have any outstanding qualities in this industry? No, but maybe only his 1.89m height. My only advantage was beaten by two pieces of plastic. /sigh/ LYN: He didn’t do it on purpose, though. The props dept. gets those things ready, and he didn’t know there would be the added height. I said it was alright if they wanted to add in the height, but when he had to do scenes with me, I told him to take his shoes off. Every morning before we start it’ll be like going through airport security- he has to take his shoes off, for me to take a look before he can start. XD C: Ning-ge, you can add insoles too. LYN: Am I still human?? Sometimes when I’m just walking around set, some people will stop to ask me if I’m wearing insoles. I always tell them I wouldn’t be human if I did. What would I need them for?? Do I want to fly in the sky and meet with the sun??? So every time I do a scene with FYL I have to perform some security first. LYN: Of course, I am joking. Please only believe about 20% of what you hear in my streams. You can believe 20% of those plastic insoles, and the rest you can choose not to believe at all.

C: If you compare heights, do you also compare bodies? LYN: Not really. We don’t have the habit of getting together, taking our shirts off, and comparing muscles. There’s nothing to compare.

C: Are you still working out? LYN: I am. I only don’t do it when I am very tired. But these past couple of days I thought I couldn’t go another day without working out a bit. I didn’t feel comfortable if I didn’t. So even though we wrapped the other day at 5am, but I still came back and worked out for an hour. We finished up in a place called Xianju, and it took 1.5 hours to drive back. It was a night scene, so when the sun came up we wrapped for the night. By the time we got back it was already around 6a. C: Do your muscles not hurt? LYN: They do. It hurts right here, now. / LYN: I was working out more when I was in Chengdu. I finally realized why actors like doing modern dramas- because the filming environment is a lot more comfortable. When I first started off, other actors would tell me that modern dramas were relatively more laid back. And I wondered why, because I thought acting was all the same. But what they meant by “laid back” was probably the fact that the working environment is a lot more convenient. The hotel was very nice- because even though we’re in a hotel here in Hengdian.. it’s still Hengdian. But the hotel in Chengdu was nice because it had a gym, so every night when the drama wrapped I would go. What you saw in the Work-Out VLOG- that was the hotel’s gym. Sometimes when we wrapped at 2-3 in the morning, I would still go. Not that I am trying to make myself out to be a very hardworking person- I just knew that I had a lot of fight scenes for this current drama so I wanted to get into some shape to prepare for it. I didn’t think that I would still be ridiculed. :| But anyway, I was with the BYOL crew for around two months and I was pretty much working out every day. I recorded a lot of clips and started eating chicken- the guys out there who are working out would know- and protein power, and that’s what I had for the day. I was really training. I thought I could continue when I got started in this crew (YNGS), but I hadn’t even been here a few days before people were already critiquing me. Then I thought that working out wasn’t worth it. LOL. Two months of effort had no effect. I was still being ridiculed, so then I wanted to give up! They said my posture was bad, so I fixed it. I fixed it and they STILL said I’m no good- so really, what do they want from me? But even so, I’ve decided to stick with it, and I’ll count it as preparation for my next drama. / You need to understand where you’re lacking, in order to improve. So that’s what I’m doing.

LYN: I know a lot of you tell me not to mind what others are saying about me, and I don’t care what they say. But if what they say is exactly where I know I am lacking, then I will work on myself to change. If they say that I’m not suitable for acting and to quit, then I won’t listen to them. If they think that my posture needs work, then I’ll work on it- and I’ll be more aware of how I carry myself when the cameras are rolling. I think their critiques are constructive and allow me to do better at work. That’s a good thing. Honestly. Even if they meant to criticize with ill-intent, I take their words into consideration. But if my posture is good and they SAY it’s bad...it doesn’t matter because at that point I know that those words are in the same realm as saying I’m not suitable to be an actor (and I ignore it). LYN: From debut up until now, I really am grateful for all the haters, too. I’m not just saying that to make myself seem the bigger person. Do I hate and find them annoying? Of course I do. But I am also thankful for them, because in some roundabout way they are motivating me. I know to avoid things that would hurt my development, and they’re making me more aware of how I should conduct myself while working. At first they were saying that I was only just an internet famous individual and that I could never make it as a singer or an artist. It’s the same old sh*t. But at the time they really motivated me to prove them wrong. I wanted to become a singer and make them admit that I AM a singer. Even if they never admit it, I know myself- and that’s the most important thing. You can say I’m just an internet famous individual, but when I see all my albums, my performances, my osts, and my dramas- at this point I don’t care what you call me.  LYN: So as a singer who is just getting into acting, all these “critiques” are constructive criticism. Like saying I have bad posture, and saying that my lines are delivered weakly. When I know I’ve fixed my posture then at that point I won’t care what they say. So I still have to thank these voices for pointing out my weak points and motivating me to improve. LYN: No matter how weak my body is, my voice will never be weak.

- /saying some things in a weak voice/ LYN: People who just came in have no idea what I’m doing. XD - LYN: ~do you know what time it is?~ LYN: What time is it? - LYN: ~right now.. is the... start of my love for you~ LYN: A lot of people don’t know what I’m talking about- I was saying how there are a lot of things going around online about how a man is “supposed to sound”, and that is starting off low and ending with a breath. /gives some examples/ LYN: Any men watching tonight? Watch your Ning-ge give you an example of how to speak, and then you can try it out on your wife or girlfriend! C: Ning-ge, if my husband spoke to me like that I would hit/kick him. LYN: Don’t you think it sounds ~tender~? Am I not saying it ~right~?

LYN: ~Friends, I need to use the restroom. Can you stay here and wait for me? Is that alright? Friends, please don’t leave. I’ve had a bit too much water. I’m going to use the restroom. Please wait for me. I’ll play a VCR for you.~ -- bathroom break #2

LYN: Am I trending? Really? I don’t believe it. Tell me if it’s true or not, friends. C: Trending Topic #23 LYN: Ah. /tries to hide his smile/ I quite like it when I start trending- and by that I mean that if someone logs in right now they will see the topic and click into it and they can see me in real-time... C: The Entertainment Tab. LYN: Is that so? AH. What’s wrong with that? It still counts! How about this- go into the topic and leave a message. Just write... “LYN’s hat looks so good.” /laughs at his own shamelessness/ We have to make a topic of discussion. C: You’re officially a trending topic. LYN: Really? In that case, I need to show some talent! If people come in to see and nothing interesting in happening, how can I expect them to stay? How to get guests to stay is the most important thing. I think other than music, I don’t have anything else that can make them stay. LYN: Faraway visitors, please stay. Hello everybody, my name is Liu Xialai. I originally wanted to play you something with Kaka (kazoo) but I think opinion on that is divided. Why should I push my guests out the door instead? So I think I will not do that... C: Ning-ge, you’re a visual streamer. (referencing a different douyin video) LYN: I’m a visual streamer. I can’t sing. Get out. C: How about a song? LYN: Which song, though? I’ll sing one. Is there anything you want to hear? LYN: I’m sorry, I’m a dance-streamer. I can only dance and nothing else. XD C: Searching for You. LYN: I’ve been singing that too much lately, so I won’t today. How about this... - /Rang Jiu (Tomb of the Sea OST)/

LYN: Sorry- my vocal condition is that great today. LYN: Don’t request any more, I can’t sing. I tried it, but I don’t think I can continue. LYN: Let me get some water. LYN: I think I should stay nice and quiet as a visual streamer today. My vocal condition’s not to great.

C: Where’s Daimi? LYN: Let’s not let her show herself today. /goes to get her anyway/ LYN: She’s starting to get agitated now when I don’t give her some limelight. / She’s had a bath today, which is why I’m showing her to you. Usually she just looks like a “trash dog.” Like those stray dogs that pick trash off the street. But she’s been washed so I can let you all see her. 

LYN: Female celebrities need to watch how they look on camera, right? LYN: Why don’t you give everyone a wave? /waves her paw around/ LYN: She doesn’t seem very willing. Look at the camera! Here~ LYN: Alright, that’s enough. Go away, now. After you’ve used me, you can leave. Don’t break my headphones, though. LYN: Alright. It’s fun to play with her a little when I stream. LYN Studio only manages two artists- one is me, and one is my little dog. I’m her manager. Heartlessly telling her to go away. XD - LYN: Anyway, I’m just going to chat. I tried out a song but my condition isn’t the greatest. - C: You’re Daimi’s anti. LYN: See? If you’re an artist, no matter where you go, you will always have antis. It’s very normal. I don’t even mind anymore. I also see that some people like to use my picture as their profile pic and go to curse out other artists. Not curse at, but rather... shade other artists. With my photo as their profile pic. But you know- when you click into their profile, you find that they curse out even me. That’s true love, right there. I saw someone doing that and I wanted to go try to advise them not to. I wanted to talk some sense into them, and make them stop putting others down because it makes LYN fans as a whole look bad. But when I clicked into their profile I saw that most of the hate comments were about me, and just sometimes about a different artist. After I saw that, my heart was at ease.

LYN: Is FYL here? He’s here to set the record straight about what I said about him, is that it? XD C: Wei Shuyu? LYN: His name is Fang Yilun. All in all, we’ve known each other longer than most. We weren’t that close, because we had only shot that one drama together and didn’t keep in contact after it was over except having a meal together once or twice. But we’ve really gotten to know each other through this current drama. He’s a good kid. And I’ve never said anything bad about him during my streams, right? I always tell you what a good person he is. I never talk badly about someone behind their backs. What type of person would that make me, right? But he’s very nice and cool. Honestly, he’s very good looking. Other than being good looking, he is also very good in all other aspects. XD All good. Tall, handsome, and a good actor. LYN: FYL has his own fans, and the other day I saw them saying, “FYL is starting to act with LYN? When will he have a lead role of his own?” But the problem is FYL has already been male lead in other dramas before! Also, he’s much better looking than I am on screen. So I told him that if YNGS airs and there are articles stating that the 2ML is overpowering the 1ML, I will go to his house to beat him up. Even if I can’t beat him, I’ll still give it my all.  C: You’ll scare him away. LYN: No. We’re have a good relationship, and might even do a song together later. We’ll see. Because we’ve already negotiated with the production company that I will have two songs for YNGS. But there’s not much meaning in having two songs for myself, so I wanted to see if I could do one of them with FYL. C: Buy one get one free. LYN: How could I do one OST and then give another for free? There’s no way. Each song costs money. It’s not like I’m going to act for them and then sing the OST for free- they’re such a big company, it wouldn’t make a difference to them. I even told them before, that I would come as an actor-singer package deal, and they said there was no need and that each aspect (acting/singing) would receive its due payment. Since they’re such a kind company, it wouldn’t be right of me to keep refusing. C: Give the second song half-off. LYN: Do you think you’re selling milk teas?

C: /asks him abt a popular game?/ LYN: I’m not playing it. I don’t have the interest. I don’t why- I’m different from other people, and it might be because I’m “sick” at heart- but the more people are into something, the less I want to do with it. If I saw it in passing I might entertain the thought for a while, but if it’s the topic of every single discussion I don’t really want to entertain it anymore. I’ve seen it before, because my friends share it, so I have an idea of what it is. But I don’t really have the interest in playing it myself. I’m more of a rebel at heart. LYN: Why do you think so many people like LYN? It’s because not everyone finds LYN attractive. Ey! I’m not your traditional handsome guy. Am I handsome? No. I don’t have the beauty and big eyes that people can say is handsome with just one look. My appearance is... steadfast/down-to-earth. You can with one look that Xiao Ning has lived through some stuff in life. It’s a different style. I can’t reach the “handsome guy” level. When my fans compliment me and tell me I’m handsome, I feel guilty. Because it seems like the act of chasing stars has gone to (and broken) their heads. It’s like the ability to judge and the conception of what is “pretty” and “ugly” has malfunctioned. I can understand. LYN: But! But it’s a little like the saying “王八看绿豆” (lit. turtle looking at a mung bean; bc a turtle’s eyes are only the size of a mung bean, so if you place one in front of the turtle, that is all they can see.). It’s only an expression, though. I’m not trying to make any insinuations about who/what we are as people. I just mean that we’re suited for each other- so my fans like people like me; and no matter what I do, in their eyes I will still look cool. It’s weird but there’s no helping this- everyone’s tastes are different. This is very normal. Sometimes I will see nationally acclaimed paintings and I look at them and think to myself, “What is this?” But the truth is that the painting can sell for millions of dollars. It’s a mystery.

LYN: When I was little, I grew up with my grandparents. My grandmother really liked to use idioms. So when I grew up a lot of my way of thinking is a lot like my grandma’s.

C: Did you drop in on Zhao Liying? (Legend of Shen Li) LYN: I did go take a tour around her drama set, and I also know the director Deng Ke, too. So I went to greet him. I got introduced to Lin Gengxin while I was at it. We didn’t know each other and we’re not familiar. Of course I had to have known of him before, but we did not know each other privately. But I got to know him because one day I was in Changsha and I really wanted a haircut. I felt like my hair was too long and ugly, so I wanted to get it fixed. But I couldn’t find a shop in Changsha. I’m the type of person who only likes to go to someone familiar, because I don’t want to end up on a variety show or something with an ugly haircut- I want to find someone I trust. I was looking it up online and found a shop that was using his picture. I was amazed that this shop had the audacity to use an artists’ photo like that- isn’t that false advertising? They must be crazy. But my studio looked it up too, and they said the shop really did seem like it was owned by Li Gengxin.  LYN: Because you know how some shops (hairdressers and optometries) like to use artist photos to advertise, but you can tell with one look these shops are not represented by these artists at all? It’s like the stall by my house that’s plastered a huge poster of an artist on its walls. I thought they must have been crazy but after a quick search that salon really was opened by LGX. I figured if that was the case, it would be a reliable establishment, so I went. I went and... I’m a bit more publicly recognizable now, so they knew who I was. I didn’t SAY anything- I was just there to get my hair cut! But as they were trimming my hair, one of the attendants came by and said they gave their boss a call, and the boss said to give me a card. So that I would be able to go there to get my hair cut in the future and not have to pay. So generous?! Of course I refused, and wanted to pay them but they insisted that their boss would not let them accept any payment. At that time I didn’t even have LGX’s WeChat yet. I had no way of thanking him. But I got the free haircut and the card (with money on it!). He’s such a kind person! So when I got to Hengdian and got to finally greet him and thank him. That’s how I got to know him. C: Will you go there again? LYN: When I’m free to get a haircut. Because now I’m in Hengdian in the drama crew and I don’t really need to cut it. If I do, the crew’s stylist can cut it for me. At that time my hair was too long and I needed to do some other activities, so I went to get it cut. It was free and he gave me a membership card- what a nice guy, really.

- /scolds Daimi for wandering around/

C: What about BJT? LYN: I didn’t drop by his set. We’re pretty much shooting at the same time. Right now our relationship is that of upstairs and downstairs neighbors. If I get in the elevator and go down one floor I’d be at his house. We haven’t bumped into each other yet but I know we’re in the same building.  LYN: Hengdian is very small. Pretty much everyone is shooting their dramas here, right? I looked into who all was living in this building and after I found out I was shocked. It’s only one building- but there are really SO MANY artists living here? In this one building alone??? It’s scary. C: People you don’t see often. LYN: Yes, people I don’t see often, I meet all the time in the elevator. LYN: The other day we wrapped for the night and I heard someone call me from behind, “Ning-ge!” I turned back to look. (It was) Zeng Shunxi. On a different day we got into the underground car park and there was a car in front of mine. I was thinking about who might be plotting against me. It was Gong Jun. In any case, it’s the same group of people (all living in the same building in Hengdian). C: Have you met up with ZSX and YCY? LYN: YCY, no. I asked her, but she hasn’t been in Hengdian recently. ZSX is here though, so we meet up sometimes.

C: Your accent is so strong. LYN: Do I have to speak Standard when I stream now? Are you here to test me? My accent is a lot less strong now. Have you noticed that I’ve been using more Standard in my streams lately? LYN: I CAN speak Standard Mandarin, but I just like to use my dialect when I stream. My dialect is.. Cantonese. X’D Next up let me sing you a Cantonese song... Oh, right. I won’t sing, because my condition isn’t good today. Lets just chat.

C: Do you have a makeup collab? LYN: Yes, I do have one coming up but nothing’s been announced yet so I won’t say anything about it. It’s been years since my debut and you are asking me all the time when I will do a lipstick collab. I really don’t know how much lipstick your lips need! This has been following me for three years already, “Ning-ge, collab with a lipstick brand already! I don’t have lipstick to wear.” Alright, then. This time I’ve gotten a deal down. It’s a makeup set- lipstick, eyeshadow, blush... you know. It’s a set. LYN: I’m really trying to control how many spokesperson deals I get, and I’m not trying to brag that I have so many deals that I can reject most of them. I really am trying to control the amount. Because first of all, I don’t really want to spend most of my time on these types of things (brand events, livestreams, promotions, etc.) and shooting a drama is taking enough of my time. I really only collab with good brands that I acknowledge- I’d never work with a brand you’ve never heard of. It’s not that they didn’t try to come find me, either. There are so many contracts- but just having two or three a year is enough. LYN: I always deal with a brand that’s known, and with a product that you all will find useful. If I really wanted to make this my sole source of income, honestly I could be making a lot more than I am right now. If I sit here promoting products to you in three hours of my stream, how much money do you think I can make? I’d be streaming for nothing, right now. But I don’t think that’s how money should be made, and it’s not a great way to exhaust yourself. LYN: Any good brand that has an interest in me, I have pretty much all been in contact with. If there are other opportunities, we’ll discuss it later. It doesn’t really matter. But anyway, the makeup collab is coming. It’s almost finished. Some of y fans have been following me for three or four years now and you’ve always asked about when I would do a lipstick collab, so much so that I started to feel insecure. Because you would always mention it, but it didn’t seem like any makeup brand was willing to come use me. It’s so strange. It would have been fine if you hadn’t mentioned it so much, but since you did I started to find it weird. But it finally came to me this year. It’s not like it came in recently, either. We were in talks already at the beginning of the year. Brand discussions with artists always happen at the beginning of the year. I guess it’s because that’s when they know what their budget is. C: Will you do a testing? LYN: I don’t think I would do it in one of my own streams, but there will probably be a brand promotional stream that I would be able to show you. I’d apply it to my hand or something, because it’s not like I’m going to put it on my lips to show you. We’ll see.

C: I finally caught up to a real stream? LYN: Are you usually watching a fake one? Are you usually watching an AI? Do you usually see something like this?

C: You’re trending. LYN: I know. They already told me earlier. :) Thank you.

- /playing with filters/

C: Ning-ge, you’re so good looking in the Reuters. LYN: Don’t mention the Reuters to me. I don’t want to hear that word in my life again. XD Alright? Whenever I hear that word my heart lurches a little.  LYN: Honestly, though. In Hengdian and with all the paparazzi. I can understand why they do it- it’s their job. In my previous stream I tried to interview them, remember? I think there’s a mutual respect. Because this is their way of making a living. They have their job, and I have mine. It’s not that I don’t mind, but I am not strict with it and don’t go out of my way to stop them. I don’t try to obstruct them, or find someone from the crew to tell them to stop taking photos. I don’t want to get in the way of how they make a living, because they rely on doing this to get a meal on the table. But! I want to say to all my paparazzi friends out there: I’m ~alright~ aren’t I? If you think there’s some part of me that you find lacking, please just tell it to my face. I’ll change, ok? Also, my fans still buy your photos, don’t they? Even if it’s only enough for you to buy a pack of cigs or a beer, you’re still making some profit from them, right? If you take a picture wherein I look kinda ugly, can you just delete that picture?? I know that you’re up in the mountains there trying to take photos. I even feel bad for you. Sometimes I want to send you water. There are all sorts of bugs up in those mountains and you’re squatting in a bush on a hot day- honestly, my heart goes out to you. I want to send you water. I ask my assistant if I should send them up there to shade you with an umbrella. I’m a good person, aren’t I? So if you have an ugly photo of me, could you please erase it? Or if you have a photo where one person looks good and the other doesn’t, just cut me out of the frame if I look ugly and THEN you can post it. Is that alright? I’m begging, bros. We’re both in Hengdian together, let’s not make it any harder for each other than it is. I’ll send you up some water next time. LYN: Control yourselves, please. I’m on the rise but I’m very vulnerable. Can you protect a rookie actor like me? // I am very clear on it myself. This is my second male lead role- my first was with Tao-jie- and I know that when these dramas air I am going to face a wave of criticism. This is very normal, and I have steeled myself for it. But even so, you can’t continuously ridicule me from filming start to drama end date, can you? Everything has a time limit. Let’s give it three days before this topic all blows over. Next time you can pick on me for something else. You can’t criticize me for one thing for a whole month! Who does that?! Enough is enough. Change the topic, everyone. - /continues to negotiate with the paparazzi. not only will he send them water, he’ll add in crispy pancakes, with added sausage and chicken cutlets if they could delete or cut him out of particularly ugly photos of him./ C: I feel sorry for Ning-ge. LYN: There’s nothing to be sorry for. I understand why they do it- we’re all just trying to survive. It’s not easy for anyone. Just... I hope we can become mutually understanding. // I trust that after I’ve brought this up today, there won’t be any more ugly photos of me floating around. XD But it’s possible that they didn’t receive the message. It’s whatever... but just.. try. C: They’re too much. LYN: I understand them though, because this is how they make a living. There’s no need to pick a fight with them. It’s just sometimes that they’ll post something critical of me. This has happened before, with ALZ. One person looked good while the other didn’t. But back then it blew over in a few days. I don’t know what’s happening this time, but people can’t let it go. I think it’s about time, though. You can switch to something different, now. D:

LYN: My friends- you don’t need to reply to them or try to explain. Don’t do anything on my behalf. There’s really no need. Only four of my dramas have aired- the truth is not a lot of people know what I’ve been up to these past two years. If they’ve never even seen one of those four dramas, and have only heard me sing- or if they haven’t even heard my songs and only know there is a person called “Liu Yuning”- the only thing they know is that I’m acting in some drama right now. It’s not important. This drama- when it comes down to it- is only just a drama. I still have a lot more roles to act after this. So it’s not like I’m going to hold a big grudge over it.  LYN: Also! I’ve said so before- that even if in future dramas I go back to playing second lead or supporting characters, please don’t mind it. I’m an actor- so if I like a role, even if it’s fourth lead, I’ll take it. I got here today by trying out different supporting roles. As long as I think the roles suits me and it’s something that I like, I’ll try it out. I don’t think name or title of a position is important, for an actor. What matters is what you’re showing the viewers. What do you have to show for yourself NOW, and not what you already have to show for yourself.  C: You’re suitable to play a domineering CEO. LYN: If there’s an opportunity. Right now I’m still thinking of... I’ll tell you if there’s any news, but right now I’m still looking at the roles... but... I’ll tell you later. C: What type of role do you want to play? LYN: Honestly, anything is fine. Earlier someone told me to go play a eunuch! I think it’s alright. As long as the role is good enough, and he has an interesting enough story. Let’s say that usually every other eunuch enters the palace when they’re young- but this one entered the palace when he was thirty. You can think about it- hearing this about the character alone, makes you think that it would be a good watch. This complicated life story is enough to captivate the viewers. Especially about a eunuch that 1.9m tall. How terrifying is that- taller than the emperor, even! Hey- this story is fitting. He entered the palace when he was thirty- I’ve debuted at the age of thirty. A story of about turning the tables. LYN: I don’t want any role in particular. As long as it’s interesting enough- before I used to only look at the character- but now I would also look at the crew and who the director is, and what the hair/makeup will look like. There are many things to consider. Before, someone would look through these details for me. But now that I am more familiar with the industry, I can look into these details and make my own decisions.  - /likes dramas like Being a Hero and Be Reborn, even though he hasn’t watched many episodes, would really like to act in one of these types of dramas/ LYN: I haven’t had the chance to act in any drama like those ones, so if I had the chance I’d want to give it a try. A long time ago I already said I wanted to play someone undercover/a mole. A complicated role.

C: Do you have work tomorrow? LYN: I do. When drama filming is over I think I also need to go record an OST as well. I finished recording the OST for New Life Begins, also. That’s the one BJT recommended me for, so that counts as having fulfilled that rumor. You can hear it when that drama airs.

C: Ning-ge, stop streaming after you hit thirty million viewers. LYN: 3...2...1. Bye bye friends. Good night! LYN: I’m not that much in a rush. I’ll probably- actually it’s about time. I already said I would stream until 10p. When did I start? Around 7p, right? SO it’s been about three hours. That’s enough. I’m not thinking about the views, anyway. I just come to stream so I can relax and because my fans might miss me. There could be some passersby who may not LIKE LYN, but they can think of me as entertainment. If you’re watching my stream right now and think I’m alright to watch and you don’t find me annoying- if you do, then you don’t have to follow me- but if you think I’m entertaining, please subscribe to my weibo. Thank you.

C: When will you stream next? LYN: I’ll let you know. I’m not sure when the next time will be, right now.

C: Will there be a surprise on National Celebration Day?  LYN: No. I always look at my schedule and try to predict what I will need to do next. But after recording tomorrow, I have full days of drama shooting at least until the third. Only my scenes. After that I will be shooting the drama during the day and going to voice act for Zi Chuan at night. After voice acting for ZC is finished, I will follow-up with voice acting for ALZ. So that means I’ll be quite busy during the month of October because voice acting is a complicated process; made all the more complicated because I’ll be shooting the drama in the day and voice acting at night. It’s not like I can spend the whole day in the studio voicing 4 or 5 episodes per session. I’ll be going there only after a full day of filming- so when I’ll get to stream next, I’m really not sure. This is one of the reasons I’m afraid to go on variety shows- dramas have me busy enough as it is. Some things I have to give up.

C: When will you do another stage performance. LYN: They’ll come. I’m sure they’ll be one at the end of the year. Because your Ning-ge has to bring in the new year, right? I’m sure I’ll have the chance to go to a few different broadcast stations’ galas.

LYN: Alright, it’s about time. I’ll sign off and grab a bite to eat. I wish you all a relaxing and wonderful night. It was a pleasure to have you and I hope you had a good time. I’ll see you in the next stream. Good night everyone.

[1d-trashcan]

A girl at barricade doesn’t know the words I AM JUDGING

[lelengerine]

My love i want to marry you so you could tell me all the amazing stories inside your head ‼️ i want to request you where reader gets grumpy because haechan left hickeys in her neck when she told not to ( if only you have time) muahhh

i could literally tell you all the thoughts i have for free anon just say the word 😩 on another note tho, i hope you don’t mind me implementing gamer hyuck into this too,, im just too engrossed with the pairing 😭😭 but thank you for the request (this is my first one aaaah), i love u sm sm 🤍🤍🤍

sucker for you

pairing | streamer!hyuck x streamer!reader

genre | its pretty much fluff, use of nicknames for reader (lovie, baby) and hyuck (lovie, bub), tell me if i missed anything!

wc | 0.9k

m.list

you had just woken up a few minutes ago, currently struggling to get ready in time for the stream you scheduled to start in less than ten minutes. perhaps if someone in particular (ahem, your boyfriend) decided to wake you up at the time you instructed before you went to bed last night, you wouldn’t even be in this predicament. 

the clock was ticking down to the second, and you could only set your hair in a messy bun before preparing to go live, thanking your past self for setting up the recording software the day before. you take a seat in your gaming chair in haste, patting your cheeks as much as you could since, for some reason, the adrenaline coursing through your veins from the rush of getting ready seems to be doing little to none in actually keeping you awake.

you pull up twitch, a bunch of streaming settings popping up on your monitor. with a couple of clicks, the platform is now notifying your viewers of your livestream.

you sit in peace for a couple of seconds before your regular viewers come dropping by one by one.

user_01: MY STREAMER IS ON TIME !!!

user_02: how is your day today, my loveee?

user_03: omg i finally made it to one of the streams!!! ahhh so excited ><

“hello my lovelies.” you greet calmly, a warm smile glazing over your features, and you can only hope it masks the tiredness behind your voice. “let’s see what we’ll be doing for today’s live, shall we?”

user_04: does anyone else see that thing on y/n’s… neck?

user_05: IS THAT WHAT I THINK THAT IS???????

user_06: Y/N JUST WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO 

the messages have you alarmed, clearly confused from what chat was telling you. “huh? do i have something on me?” you ask, letting each syllable fall out of your lips ever so slowly as you’re having difficulty trusting your viewers, recalling past moments of them pranking you.

user_07: there’s a little something on your neck, yeah…

user_08: oh i just know that look on your face, y/n!! we aren’t joking around this time :[[

reading a few more comments has you somewhat assured your viewers are telling the truth, now deciding to stand up from your chair. “i’ll be back then, chat! i’ll just go check myself in the mirror.” 

with the small announcement, you set your stream to the waiting room before walking towards your bathroom with a wave of nerves hitting you. 

just what was your chat so concerned about?

a small glance at the mirror has you gasping in shock, inspecting what seems to be a familiar-looking purplish bruise littering your skin. immediately registering what it was, you could only think of one culprit, your beloved haechan. 

despite the flurry of emotions that fill your senses, the only one you could clearly describe is the raging feeling of annoyance stemming from sheer embarrassment. 

sure, you’ve done a lot of regrettable things on stream, but nothing as telling as this.

without a second thought, you rush out of your room, and over to the living room where your boyfriend is residing for the day. “hyuck!” 

“hey, baby!” he looks up from his phone, greeting you cheerily—a striking contrast to the tone of your own voice. “is something the matter?”

“did you do this?” you ask straightforwardly, exasperation lacing your words as you point to where a hickey stains your skin.

he directs his line of sight to the mark, slowly but surely failing to hide the smirk making his lips curve upwards. “what if i did? hypothetically, of course!” 

your brain starts wracking with grumbles at the response, unable to comprehend why your boyfriend decided to do it in the first place. “you know i don’t mind you doing this sort of thing, but chat saw me with it! and you knew i was going to stream today!” 

“… yeah i did.” he confirms, now feeling a little guilty after seeing how grumpy you’ve become over a little hickey. in his eyes, it was barely even visible! he’d make it larger if he could- but maybe another time when the two of you wouldn’t be streaming for a while. “i’m sorry baby. i’m just a sucker for you.” 

you see his lips that once held a smirk now falling into a pout, and you’re starting to feel bad from how big of a deal you’re making this be. “it’s okay, but at least tell me next time so i can at least try covering it up. okay, lovie?”

“okay, lovie.” he repeats, shuffling his feet towards you until you feel his warm embrace engulf your figure. you already know this was his way of properly apologizing, rather showing his genuineness through actions instead of words.

“good.” you state with a soft smile as you return the hug, the negative emotions you were bearing now fizzing away. 

it’s only when you realize you have a stream to get back to that you release from the comfort of your boyfriend. “ah, right- chat is gonna start messing with me if i come back any later than i already am. i’ll talk to you later again, bub!”

“don’t cover the hickey! let them know you’re mine at least?” haechan tries convincing you, a sheepish look on his face.

“fine, only because i literally have to get back now.” you comply, playfully rolling your eyes. “i love you!”

“i love you too, baby.” he returns, watching as your figure disappears back into your streaming room. he’s definitely doing that again, with the addition of telling you about it, of course.

[accio-victuuri]

Bunny laoshi’s 1005 birthday CPNs Part II 🎂🎉

part one is here. this covers xz studio’s birthday video and all the clownery that came with it. this day is truly for celebration and i hope all of us are gonna have a good day~

a conversation that’s kinda loud is where the first part of the video was shot, and more importantly, when. because compared to the other sections of the edit, it appears to be his personal time that was added in. and the rest, with them taking photos, those are deliberately for the birthday material.

I thought this was somewhere in IM too, but it’s actually in Beijing. It’s confirmed by the photo he shared on his weibo. The place is at Lianquan Xianggu Natural Scenic Area Tiangong Cave📍Huairou District, Beijing. There are “reviews” from people who visited and said : “Highly recommended as a great place to get close to nature. There are very few people and there are many routes to choose from. No matter what your physical level, you can play!”

So i guess it makes sense for ZZ to visit. But when was this? I’m seeing 2 speculations on when this could have been. However the common denominator is that WYB was with him in this trip. It’s a place where they will not be recognized that much and no crowds.

OPTION NUMBER 1 : September

The theory is simply lining up the date when they were both in Beijing. GG allegedly went back to Beijing on 9/23 to 9/27 for work. Since he has other commitments other than shooting the movie. If you remember, he had a couple of livestreams and shoots. His schedule lined up with WYB who had no public itinerary on 9/26-9/27. So this could be the time window when they went hiking & exploring. Maybe WYB had his camera with him too and they both took pictures.

OPTION NUMBER 2 : August

This one has more clues to it and the guess is 8/14-8-15 which is free time for both of them. 8/13 was also when the mysterious driver was spotted so there’s that. The one who restored the cake mentioned to count the number of the sheep and it should be 32. Also it’s called something like a Beijing Camping cake and the plan for it ( with photos ) was shared 8/15 since this person didn’t know it’s for XZ. However the“original” one who made the concept is from Hangzhou which I already talked about. There are also posts from other people way before this material came out that they did see XZ around that time in the area. Remember there are some parts of LOCH done in Beijing. Tho they said that the filming site was very strict and closed off.

So anyway, I really believe that this was some sort of a joint celebration for them even it’s not 1005. I mean, why would his cast mates celebrate it with him that early??? Unless they both know that the two of them will be busy in the next couple of weeks so why not celebrate it now. While we’re out here camping 🏕️

This photo too, when i first saw it i expected for the XZS bday edit to have the scene where they sang for him. BUT NO. They shared a different “birthday moment”. I’m looking at this and thinking — maybe they didn’t want to share this private moment. They are aware of how eagle eyed CPFs can put things together and notice stuff with photos, all the more in a video. I’m leaning more towards the fact that it’s private and they wanna keep this between.

We could all be wrong about this. As with all CPNs, more clues come out as the days & months go by.

Moving on….

Is this the new favorite mini fan? LOL. I mean the CQL couple fan they have will always have a special place but it’s nice to see him have some “upgrade”.

We are seeing that again! P1 and P3 are a nod to how the sunrise is seen from the space station. P2 which is from XZS video looks like it’s a nod to that too but in a different way.

The whole feel of the vlog too, some of the cuts have that “Like The Sunshine” vibe to it. It’s a common reaction from some turtles, especially if you put the lyrics side by side with some of the stills. You can easily cut the scenic shots and use LTS as the background music and it will fit.

Watching the starry sky with the wild beasts. What is your name, in the shadows. Waking up in the night, silent like me. We lit the bonfire while we chatted. Time sneaks by, falling like flower petals

I have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. If we can exchange our sincere hearts, then we can get through winter. Many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves: But it always finds a way and is always new on the branches. We will meet again, like the world will go on as usual

I have a firefly for you in the palm of my hand. It's some happiness picked up along the way. What is your name, how gentle is your name. Please tell me when the night breaks. We lit the bonfire while we chatted. Time sneaks by, falling like flower petals

Tell me this doesn’t match. 🙃🙃🙃 Their works really complement each other.

I can mention some other elements in the video like the windmills again & that cut with the violin/symphonic sound that wyb just mentioned in his vogue interview. I mean, if you clown hard enough I bet you can connect everything to a candy. But the topics I’ve mentioned here are what’s mostly talked about.

-END.

P.S: I can relate to this so much. The state of turtles right now 😂😂😂

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 14.2k

A/N: Jesus. H. Christ. Thank you for your patience. This chapter broke me. Goodnight.

(Also please note there is a new content warning in the tags! There is slight drug use in this chapter.)

PS i know, it's a lot of angst, and you guys are here for the cute fluffy timey-wimey boy. i promise next chapter is far nicer, i just didn't want it to get boring, is all. <3

It had been so long. He’d been doing so well. You thought you could just happily leave Ralph at home and he could stay out of trouble. But several missed calls from your friends alerts you to the incident that the group chat were talking about:

With a heavy sigh, you text your co-manager, asking them to cover for you so you could leave for what you call a “family emergency”. Thankfully, you’ve had to do it often enough in the past that they just assume you’ve got a really chaotic younger sibling or something, but it still gets a little frustrating that it’s his third month of living with you and you’re still having to be on call 24/7 for him. Surely by now, he could have googled whether it was safe to microwave a whole egg. And how on earth do you accidentally go live?! There are steps to it, it’s not as though it’s a button he can accidentally press. Only Ralph, honestly.

Still, you can’t stay mad at him. Not when he’s sat on the kitchen floor, muttering to himself in exponential anguish as he reads every cleaning product label to try and determine which one is best for the task at hand.              

You spot his phone still resting on the counter and look at the screen in confusion. “How are there still three and a half thousand of you watching my wall?!” You ask into the camera.

Ralph sits up on his knees to look at his phone, too, and you hold back laughter at the camera’s shot of just his hair and eyes above your kitchen counter. “What do you mean, watching?”

“You’ve been broadcasting for hours, mate. Say goodbye to your followers!” You chirp as you hover over the button to end the feed.

Ralph sinks back to the floor with a defeated, “Oh, fiddlesticks,” and you stop the livestream.

You look at the bottles he has surrounding him and hold your hand out, “Here, gimme the green one.”

He hands it over to you, and gets up quickly, moving over to sit on the sofa in silence. You sigh in resignation, looking over at him as he hugs a cushion to his chest. Quickly wiping down the inside of your microwave, you tidy up the rest of the kitchen after him and sit on the other end of the couch, cross-legged. “Hey.” You crane your neck to try and catch his gaze, but he refuses to. “Hey. You know I’m not mad at you, right? It’s just all the stuff I’ve had going on today all balled up into one big outburst. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“I suppose you shall be on your way back to work now,” he mutters into the cushion.

You shake your head, “Nah, already forfeited the rest of the day as unpaid because the other manager’s covering. Usually I’d swap it for another shift, but we’re going away next week, so…” You shrug. “No chance there.”

Ralph looks up, the pillow obscuring everything but his sad puppy-dog eyes. “G-going away? Wher- who wi- how lo-”

“Where, Brighton,” you tap one finger. “Ever been?” He shakes his head. “Ah, you’ll love it.” You tap another finger, “Who with, please, like I have any other friends,” you scoff, “so don’t worry, you won’t be meeting anybody new -”

Ralph’s eyes widen in a double take. “Wh- I’m going, too?”

“Well, I clearly can’t leave you here with me, can I?” You ask pointedly, jerking your head behind you towards the now clean microwave. “At least the sofa in the Brighton house pulls out into a proper bed size. How long,” you tap a third finger, “we leave here tomorrow afternoon, leave Brighton next Saturday morning.”

Ralph suddenly finds all his energy, “And just when were you planning on letting me know to start packing?!”

“Well, tomorrow morning, I thought, it’s just a case of shoving some clothes in a bag for a week. It’s not like we’re going to the Ritz or anything,” you shrug. “But we’ve got time to get a head start now if you really need it.”

“If I need -” Ralph scoffs at you as he leaps off the sofa and into the bedroom. All you can do is sigh as you watch him sprint across the room.

~~~

You probably should have figured out, with six of you taking three cars, that it wasn’t going to just be six of you. Grace’s new boyfriend - who you barely recognise yourself until Ralph, of all people, informs you that they’d met on his first night out with you all - and Scott’s partner, who Ralph is thrilled to be reunited with.

It does raise some questions to you about everyone’s sleeping arrangements, since usually Grace and Anna share the biggest room, leaving the three other bedrooms in the house for the rest of you. You’re about to suggest that you sleep on the sofa here, too, to give Ralph the bedroom, when instead you watch Connor throw his bag down on it.

You frown, “Oh, I was gonna stay down here to give Ralph a-”

“No, no, absolutely not,” Anna interjects, shaking her head. “I already worked out, it’s better if you two take the biggest bedroom, the two couples share a bedroom each, and then I tried to fight my case for the sofa, but Connor insisted on it.”

“What a gent,” you comment jokingly. You wonder if Ralph saw it that way, but daren’t look in his direction, in case he takes that the wrong way and assumes you want him to react. 

“So - so this bedroom that we’re staying in, is - is there -?” Ralph stammers, his eyes squeezing shut and opening at a rapid pace. You’ve been able to recognise that as a nervous reaction of his.

“Pretty sure there’s one bed, yeah. But if that’s too scandalous for you, I’m sure I can get a fold-out or something,” you explain, but Ralph’s eyes quickly look around the room before he shakes his head. He can’t quite make eye contact with you.

“No, no, it’s quite… Nothing wrong with being bedfellows, right?”

You shake your head, “Sure, whatever you say. Let me take our bags up - Connor, since yours are there, why don’t you show the newbies around the house and the rest of us can get our rooms set up?”

Connor agrees and you sling the strap of your duffel bag over your shoulder and pick up the suitcase Ralph’s using to take them both up the two flights of stairs to the biggest bedroom in the house.

You really should make work on unpacking yours and Ralph’s clothes for the week, or at least getting your toiletries out, but the bed calls to you like a siren from the deep seas. Throwing the bags on the floor, you launch yourself onto the bed. Oh, sweet spongy mattress! An actual duvet that covers all of you and then some! Pillows without an armrest digging into the back of your head!

The drive down was tiring enough that you can feel your eyes getting heavy. You try to get up again, to fight the urge to sleep too early and miss out on your first night traditions.

You’re awoken by a gentle pressure shoving your wrist down into the bed. And then your elbow. And then your shoulder. You eventually figure out that the sound that accompanies it is Ralph calling your name. “Ah, you’ve awoken! Welcome back.”

You sit up suddenly, “Oh Christ, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to do that, oh god, what time is it?!”

“Not to worry! Everybody is waiting to go to dinner, they said this is the time you all go anyway,” Ralph assures you. You notice that he’s stood bolt upright, but with his head turned almost upside down to look at you. You let out a sleepy chuckle as you start moving out of the bed, and Ralph quickly darts out of the room. You try not to read into that too much.

You’re greeted with a chorus of, “Alright, sleepyhead?” “It lives!” “What time d’you call this?!” You flip your friends off and fake going back up the stairs before running ahead to the front door.

Once you’ve all got your food, you sit where you always do - a bench that overlooks the pier, all its illuminations making it obvious against the dark sea beneath it. Knowing you’re finally on holiday, surrounded by the people you love most in the world, in your most favourite place, enjoying one of your favourite traditions as your lap cradles the bundle of warmth that is your portion of fish and chips as you hear the gentle crashing of waves. Knowing that all your troubles are currently almost a hundred miles away. You feel a sense of contentment, a rare zen moment. You can’t remember the last time you felt this calm.

And then, ironically, a voice laced with disgruntlement interrupts your train of thought. “Is this really any way to spend a night? You can barely see anything, this is by far the least dignified way to eat, and I fear I may come down with pneumonia before the night is through,” Ralph complains.

“Eat quicker, you’ll warm up quicker,” you prompt him. “This is why I wanted to get you a hat, but you didn’t ‘trust me’,” you mock with a smirk.

“That’s ’cause I’m your favourite to shop with, innit, Ralphie?” Connor calls from further down the bench.

“The guy who bought him clothes that feature an Angry Birds and Star Wars crossover does not deserve bragging rights,” you scoff, to laughter from most of the others.

“Ignore that lot, mate, here, have mine for now!” Connor takes his hat off and puts it on Ralph’s head. There’s something rather endearing about Ralph wearing a hat with ear flaps, but even more so when they’ve folded back on each other enough that they stick out to the sides.

“Are you quite sure?” Ralph asks, eyes wide and pleading.

“Yeah, shoved my hand in my pocket earlier and realised I had a beanie in here, too,” Connor grins as he puts another hat on his head. 

“You’re such a twat,” Grace laughs, and Connor acts offended.

“Excuse you! I was merely looking out for my best mate here!” Ralph’s face lights up at those words.

Trying not to focus on how cute that is, you grin, “Did you wanna share the bed with Ralph, then?”

Connor’s mood shifts at that. He suddenly shakes his head and goes quiet as the others hurriedly change the subject. They tell Ralph about how you’ve all hired out the same house from Airbnb for years now, how the tradition of visiting every year came to be, asking Ralph if he’d ever been to a beach before. He vaguely recalls going to “a sandy beach” when he and his sister were very young, for a few years. You’ve had a few heart-to-hearts with Ralph about his father’s death and his mother’s admission to rehabilitation, but he doesn’t bring it up to the group. You still give his hand a gentle squeeze, to let him know that you understand if he’s getting upset. He wriggles his hand against yours until your fingers interlock, and he squeezes back, using his free hand to pull the ear flaps of his new hat down to cover his.

You keep hold of Ralph’s hand as you walk back to the house, just to let him know that you’re still there for him - though you’d be lying if you weren’t also letting yourself indulge in the idea of you both taking a romantic late-evening stroll along the beachfront, just a little. Of course, usually when you allow yourself these small delusions, it ends up warping the little grievances the two of you have into something far more infuriating than they probably actually are - something’s got to bring you back to reality, after all. But you can’t see any reason why you’d possibly get far enough to snap while you’re on holiday.

Once you’re back to the house, and you and Ralph are making your way upstairs, you tell him to get himself changed in the bedroom while you do so in the bathroom. You grab some pyjamas from your bag, as well as your washbag, and head in to get yourself ready for the night. A quick silent pep talk with your own reflection to remind yourself that your walk back with Ralph was strictly platonic, and you’re ready to go back out to the living room for some games with your friends before bed.

As you step out of the bathroom, you hear a short, shrill shriek. Your eyes dart immediately to Ralph sat on the side of the bed who, despite the fact that he is wearing an undershirt, still censors his chest from view with his pyjama shirt, staring at you with wide eyes.The shade of his ears is unusually deep compared to when he’s usually surprised. Assuming you’re paying far too close attention to such a minor detail for no reason, you snort out a laugh, tell him to meet you downstairs and go to meet the others.

Though Ralph doesn’t understand a lot of the games you all play that rely heavily on pop culture knowledge, he’s a big fan of those that rely on skill and/or general hilarity, since his cluelessness usually helps him there. You advise that he take a backseat upon the suggestion of Jackbox, much to the others’ chagrin - you just feel as though he isn’t quite ready for that, yet. You’re proven right when he constantly asks you for clarification on just what makes a particular answer funny, or when his ears burn up at a particularly racy answer. Connor had expressed interest in showing Ralph the ropes when it came to some games, and you tried to encourage him to go over there, but Ralph insisted on you being his teacher. You assume it’s because you know better than anyone how to explain things to him, but internally your imagination is  playing a very dangerous game.

When you awaken in the bed the next morning, Ralph is still sleeping soundly next to you. He’s almost at the edge of his side of the bed, back turned to you. You slowly make your way out of your side and sneak past him, out of the room and down to the kitchen.

“No Ralph?” Scott asks as you walk in.

“Hello to you, too,” you jokingly flip your friend off and he smiles sweetly in return. “Nah, he’s still sparko. Dunno why.”

“Didn’t he sleep well?” Anna frowns.

You shrug. “Couldn’t tell you, I slept like a log!”

Ralph stirs from all the way upstairs, assuming from the open door that you’d already left the room but still staying still just in case. He slowly starts to roll around to look, allowing himself a sigh of relief as he sprawls out on the bed. He’d only slept once he’d finally exhausted himself from trying to stay as deliberately far away from you as possible. 

His mind would wander, of course. How peaceful you must look when you sleep. How wonderful it would be to awaken with his face a mere touching distance from yours. On occasion, he’d hear you take an extra deep breath and he’d get giddy at the realisation that he was breathing the same air as you!

That’s when he’d rein it in. Stupid Ralph. That’s exactly what scared Lauren off. It’s been months since that week, and still he hasn’t learned. In the present moment, Ralph pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration at himself. Desperate to think of anything other than the thought of waking up next to you just as the sun shone against you in the most perfect of ways, making you appear even more radiant than usual. Of your eyes slowly opening as you wake. Ralph finally gives into temptation and indulges himself in the idea of your sleepy smile, in this dream universe where you’d be happy to wake up to see him. And what a perfect sight that would be.

He takes himself to the bathroom, picking up his razor and twirling the handle around between his fingers and thumb, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He’s already shaved his facial hair clean off on several occasions. It keeps him remembering who the real Ralph Penbury is. You and your friends always complain when he does it, though. They tell him that he’s not Our Ralph when he looks like that. He’d love nothing more than to be Their Ralph. Especially to you. What was the point of being the other Ralph? Going back to a penniless, friendless, loveless, overall fruitless life?

But you’re always reminding him, this isn’t his era. This isn’t permanent. You’re always preparing him to go back to his own time at any point. A part of Ralph - the stupidly optimistic, nay, deluded part - hopes that it’s simply a fear of the unknown, that messing with time in such a way could cause devastating effect. Though what a stupid thing to think, in what universe would Ralph have such a massive impact?! 

With a heaving sigh, he tidies his facial hair up to a minimum while keeping it intact. A part of him still hesitates, still debates going further. It's what you'd want. Except also it isn't, because you always tell him he looks better with it. Ye gods, you're a confusing one.

Ralph gets himself dressed and makes it downstairs in just enough time to catch breakfast being dished up. You whisper something to Scott as soon as Ralph approaches, and Scott hands him a plate with a warm smile alongside everyone else eating, before setting everything up to make another portion for you. Ralph wants to frown, but he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, either. Why would you immediately sacrifice your breakfast for him, when he's the one who came downstairs later? Why would you see him being fed first as more important? Why not let him make that decision? He would have been happy to wait.

You feel Ralph's eyes boring into you as he scarfs his eggs down, but the one time you try and look back at him he acts as though he's trying not to get caught. You wonder what he could possibly be thinking, until Anna starts talking about the day's itinerary. This is good, this is distracting from the awkwardness, this is what the holiday is all about.

All wrapped up for a brisk November morning, you all head out to the pier, as per tradition. As Ralph gets face to face with the rides, he looks up at them, horrified, and you frown. "Are you scared of rides, or something?" He looks back down at the pier floor, watching the waves crash beneath a gap in the planks, with more fear in his eyes. "Hey, hey," you soothe, "eyes up." Ralph eventually tears his gaze away to look at you. "I promise it's all safe. It's not like those travelling funfairs where everything gets wheeled in and out, everything's built to stay here. Alright?" He still seems distracted, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, "Wanna hold my hand again?"

Stupid. What happened to not feeding the delusion? What happened to distancing yourself? What happened to being realistic? You know exactly what happened. Those damn baby-cow eyes. Hopefully Ralph'll say no. It'll be too scandalous for him to hold hands in public with people all around, surely.

But no. His fingers very carefully slide between yours yet again as he squeezes your hand gratefully. You keep both of your hands relatively tucked away from the others' view - they've already got you two sharing a bed, the last thing you need is having to constantly try to convince them all that you and Ralph aren't an item. Despite the fact that it would certainly be a good thing for you, a constant reminder to you that it can never happen, you know your friends well enough by now to know that they’d only take it as denial. That they’d keep pressing to ‘uncover’ whatever they believe you’re hiding. And you’ve gone this long keeping your one big secret from them, what if they keep digging until they find that out?!

Your train of thought is interrupted by a loud giggle from Ralph. He sees the photo op cutout of a cop and robber chase scene and he’s delighted by it. “Wanna pose?” You let go of Ralph’s hand to take your phone out and hand it to one of your friends as you both run behind the photo stand. Ralph finds the resulting picture absolutely hilarious. 

“I always wanted to do one of those,” he muses as the pair of you hang back for him to once again hold your hand, to your own chagrin. Why couldn’t you have offered to link arms? That’s friendly enough. Can’t really be misconstrued. His smile, small but contented, melts your frustrations away, if only to add to them later on as you’re walking with him.

“Did they not have people taking your photo for you, even, in those days, then?” you ask quietly, so as not to be overheard.

Ralph half-shrugs, “There were cameras, you know. Far bigger than those little pocket ones everyone has now!”

“Yeah, I think I know of them. Big box things, someone would have to stand under a curtain and hold out a thing to press to take it, right?” you ask.

Ralph holds back his laughter as he replies with amusement, “By a thing to press, do you mean a button, by any chance?”

You pull a sarcastic face at him. “I’m leaving you stranded here,” you joke, tugging him in a particular direction to show him you’re not serious. “You’re spending too much time around me, I think. Starting to sound like me and everything,” you shake your head.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Ralph asks in a small voice.

Trying not to overthink what else that could mean, you shrug, “Well, I s’pose if I’ve a part to play in you being able to tell your sister to shove it, then not really. But using my own brand of sarcasm against me?” You tut, again shaking your head. “I’ve created a monster.” Ralph laughs gently at you as everyone stops at their first ride: the Turbo roller coaster. 

Everyone laughs at the shade of green Ralph turns. “I promise you, mate, it’s far scarier down here than it is up there,” Connor tries to reassure him, but Ralph is fixated on the loop in the track.

“Honestly, Ralphie babe, that is the tiniest loop you’ll ever go on. It’ll be over before you even know it, and by the time it is over, you’ll love it, promise!” Grace holds her little finger out to Ralph, who stares at it with fearful eyes for a few beats before linking his own, to everyone’s cheers.

You allow your hands to be a little less obscured, under the guise that Ralph is only scared of the ride and so you are providing a temporary comfort. Anna also rests her head against Ralph’s arm, and Scott places a comforting hand on his shoulder, at your invitation. “The more of us that comfort him, the better, right?” you explain. “Plus, if there’s any… Prying eyes…” You look around anxiously. “At least they can’t assume that Ralph and I are dating just ’cause we’re stood together,” you roll your eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t need that sort of attention, it’s bad enough on socials.”

You don’t see Ralph’s change in demeanour. What was a quiet excitement mellowed amongst the fear of the ride, turns to full-blown dejection. Of course you’d be embarrassed to be associated with him. Who wouldn’t be? No matter what era he’s in, he’s still Ralph.

Anna interrupts his train of thought by rubbing his arm, “You alright, Ralph?” He nods, pushing a smile up his cheeks. “Nervous?” She asks, and he nods silently. She hugs his arm tight. “Honestly, there’s nothing to it.”

“Yeah, you’ll be a thrill-seeker like the rest of us in no time!” Scott grins before nudging you and Ralph each. “You two should get a photo on the Crazy Mouse for the flat!”

You shake your head, “Come off it, like either of us would want a photo of us being flung around like that! Right, Ralph?” Again, he nods without saying a word. Your brow furrows, “Are you okay? Did you want to sit this one out?” He shakes his head. “Sure? We can just go get food if you would rather watch this lot go round first and then we can go later,” you offer, but he shakes his head again.

“Besides, it’s not like it’d be the worst photo of him out there,” a completely strange voice from the other side of the queue barrier makes you jump.

“Excuse me?!” Scott exclaims.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you all! We just saw Ralph, and then you, and really wanted to get a photo, if that’s okay?” They ask you. They seem innocent enough, just asking for a picture, but you still can’t help but stand there awkwardly.

“Oh, I’m not really into that side of things, I only got my socials to make sure people are being normal about him,” you shrug them off before adding, “and to reward you all with some extra content if you’re all behaving!” They laugh, and you turn to Ralph. “What do you say, do you wanna take a photo with some of your fans?”

Ralph approaches the barrier and leans over it to pose for the photo, pressing his lips together into a smile as he holds an arm around his first in-person fan. “My friends and I just think you’re absolutely hilarious!” They smile up at him.

“Oh, please,” he laughs, flustered. Though he has his new hat on, you can guess what’s happening beneath it. “My lack of knowledge of technology doesn’t necessarily make me hilarious, anyone could do that.”

“Nah, there’s a sort of… Natural charm about you. Plus, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re really cute. Even in that photo that’s going around.”

Ralph sputters nervously as the rest of you exchange glances. You manage to hide your seething rage from your friends, though you feel it boring through your eyes as they fixate on this person. “Ah, don’t be so silly! You’re far too kind. Um, is that your friend over there waving you away?” He asks as someone approaches, thankfully dragging their friend away while talking about spotting a Twitch streamer as they head in the direction of some poor sod wearing a black and white face covering. You wonder whether that’s their ‘thing’ or if they’re doing it to avoid detection. You wonder if you’ll have to do that with Ralph at some point. His internet fame is becoming less and less of the laugh it first seemed to be with every day.

“You alright?” Anna again checks in with Ralph, who looks slightly bewildered still.

“Should I have responded differently there?” He asks.

You’re quick to answer, “No! No, I think you did the right thing, there.” You then hurriedly follow it up with a, “I mean, dating fans is never a good idea, right?”

“Yeah, not gonna lie, that made me uncomfortable,” Connor cringes. “You handled it way better than me, mate.” Ralph feels a sense of pride at his words. The line starts to move and soon enough, you’re all getting into carriages yourself. 

You make sure you and Ralph are in one near the middle, so he feels safer. Once you’re all strapped in, and the attendant is sure Ralph is, too, you see him already squeezing his eyes half-shut in anticipation. You poke him gently and hold your hand out again. “It’ll be here if you need it, okay?”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, I wouldn’t want to be a -” Ralph starts, but as the coaster jolts into motion he quickly grasps your hand tightly.

Ralph’s half-laugh/half-scream serenades you throughout the whole ride, especially at the loop. Once the ride brings you back upright again, you look over at him. “Was that so bad?”

“Boy, that was exhilarating, wasn’t it?!” He beams, and everyone else cheers for him from their own seats.

“You did it, Ralphie!” “We’re so proud of you, babe!” “Reckon we’ve awoken the thrillseeker in you?” Ralph’s too giddy to answer any of those. 

You can barely get him to stand upright without his legs turning to jelly, unless you get him to hold your arms while you hold his. He falls into your arms with a giddy laugh, and you gently shove him onto his own gait. “Easy, tiger!” You giggle. “God knows what you’re gonna be like on the other rides.”

Once he sees the Crazy Mouse coaster in action, that green hue in his skin returns, so you decide to build his courage up a little more. His face simply turns white when he sees the ghost train. Scott notices and rolls his eyes, “Oh my god, Ralph, don’t even worry about it, this is literally the least scary ride on here.”

His partner pipes up, “Yeah, there’s scarier creatures on the merry-go-round than there are in there!”

“I wonder if they’ve put the face back on that animatronic from last year or not?” You ask, before looking over to Ralph, who looks horrified. “It’s unintentionally the scariest thing there, and it’s not even that bad. Trust me. Remember?” You hold your hand out, wiggling your fingers. “If you need it.”

“What if… People assume?” Ralph asks, trying not to spit the word out with the venom that wants to follow it.

You shrug, “I think your face justifies your need to have someone hold your hand. If you’d rather, you can sit with Connor or Anna, I was just suggesting -” He takes your hand again in silence, and you walk him over to queue up at the ghost train.

The moment the ride takes you into a dark hallway, Ralph buries his face in your shoulder, and you pat his cheek comfortingly. However, as he starts to see the quality of the animatronics (“Was that one being held up by -” “Duct tape, yes.”) and experience how poorly timed the “jump scares” are, he relaxes far more. 

You take him on the twister next, which only ends up throwing your body into his at every convenience, a consequence you’d forgotten in the year since you’d last been on it. Still, he seemed too invested in the adrenaline rush that came with being thrown around in circles to notice your proximity.

After a quick pit stop to eat, and reassurance to Ralph that you weren’t going straight back onto any rides, you go into the arcade. Ralph’s face lights up along with all the games as you explain what ones are. He excitedly tells you that he recognised the fortune teller machine and a strength tester game from his own youth. 

You let the others go on ahead as you and Ralph pay for a go on the fortune teller. It tells you, “A smile is worth a hundred frowns in any market!” You look at Ralph with the biggest smile you can muster, and he returns with one of your favourite expressions of his, the big fake animatronic-style smile that could rival the fortune teller. “And lucky for you, the great Zoltar sees much happiness ahead for you!” You bite your lip at the irony. Does that mean Ralph's happiness, that he’ll be returning home soon? Your happiness, that he’ll be staying? Or is it just a randomly generating machine?

It prints off a fortune and you read it together: You may be riding the winds of change. Things may at times seem to be out of touch. Soon they will come to a better order. As the blessings of health and fortune have a beginning, so they must also find an end. Everything rises but to fall. To make sense of all this, you will find the answer is to be found in how well you relate to people. Looking at the big picture will help shape your long range plans. If things are not always smooth remember that he who could foresee affairs but three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years.

You blow out a long breath of disbelief at how weirdly on the nose that seems to be for you both and quickly pocket it to find the others. Grace is trying to get her new boyfriend to win her a stuffed toy on the cranes. Scott is trying to finesse a coin-pusher game while his partner and Connor play a dance mat game behind him, and Ralph leaves you to watch in awe as Anna plays a pinball machine. She tries to explain the mechanics of it all to him, but it seems to be going entirely over his head.

You play your favourite game for a while, trying to win as many tickets as possible, when Ralph soon joins you as well. “Any luck with pinball?” You ask, and Ralph shakes his head.

“I wasn’t sure how to play it, I didn’t really seem to be doing anything, rather just pushing an awful lot of buttons for the sake of it,” he answers. 

“Sounds like you were playing it right to me!” You laugh. “What do you wanna do now?”

“Well,” he says, excitement obvious in his voice. “I saw one of those photo booths around there…”

You gasp, “Yes! Let’s do it!” before looking around with disappointment. “Ugh, how are we gonna fit everyone in, though?”

“Perhaps we can get individual ones with people across the week?” Ralph suggests.

“Alright,” you nod. “Wanna get some practice in, just us?” Ralph nods back at you, and you both head into the booth.

Once you’ve paid for it, Ralph asks, “Now how does it all work, again?”

“Right, it’ll tell you when - oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groan as it takes a photo of you mid-sentence, and Ralph stifles a laugh. “Okay, quick, when’s it taking anoth- ahh!” Another snap takes you by surprise, and Ralph doesn’t attempt to hide his amusement this time. You throw your hands up in disbelief, “Well, this is a waste now, isn’t it,” before collapsing into laughter yourself.

“I am sorry,” Ralph frowns at you once all four are taken, and you wave him off. 

“Don’t be! I should have set us a game plan from the beginning.” You decide on your poses: a normal, smiley one; a goofy-grinning one; one with both your tongues sticking out; and one where you kiss his cheek. You promise him that it’s not at all scandalous to pose in this way, and that between Grace and Scott, at least one of them would want a photo with him like it anyway so you’re simply getting him geared up for that. You’re promising yourself that more than him, if you’re being honest with yourself.

You end up posing for the first one with your heads touching as you smile gently into the camera. He’s not giving his usual uncomfortable smile, or his disappearing-lip act. It’s just a nice, natural smile. Which is immediately replaced with a fake smile so big, he has to hold himself up on the bench with both of his hands to hold himself at an angle worthy of the grin on his face, which you mirror. When you tell him, “Tongues out!” yours pokes straight out towards the camera, but he lets his loll out to show off the flat of his tongue to the camera instead. You remind him to look ahead for the last one by pointing at the screen, and then holding the cheek furthest from you to push it closer to you, feeling his freshly trimmed down stubble scratch at your lips as you feel them press against the warm flesh of his cheek beneath.

Once all four are done, you quickly get out to make sure both strips are still there to collect. Thankfully, nobody else has seen them, and you pick them both up to study them. You try not to focus on the bottom photo of the second strip, instead looking at the total disaster that is the first strip. Most of them are blurry and far from flattering, but the final one. What is it with the last photo with you two?! You’re laughing, as is Ralph, but the way Ralph is angled, you could just as easily fool yourself into believing that he’s looking at you as though he’s madly in love with you.

As he emerges, he asks, “So, were those first ones completely unusable?”

Quickly tearing off the bottom photo to pocket it, you crumpled up the remaining three and throw them in the bin. “Yeah, pretty much! Here, hold onto these ones, though, and we can put them on the fridge when we get back home.”

Home. Do you mean that to mean your home is Ralph’s, too, or are you speaking on your own terms? Neither of you know, to be honest.

Your friends reconvene around you, and you tell them of yours and Ralph’s plan for each of them to get a mini photoshoot with him, what with it being his first time on this holiday with you all. Everyone happily accepts getting their own photo ops in with Ralph, and you love watching how everyone poses with him. Your personal favourites are Anna teaching him how to throw up deuces as they pull funny faces, Connor teaching him how to make hand horns as they stick their tongues out, Scott and his partner both kissing each of Ralph’s cheeks, and Ralph’s feigned disgust as Grace drapes herself over her boyfriend.

After all that excitement, you decide you’ll return to the rides another day. Instead, you find a nice little Italian place to eat that’s taken over an old cafe you had used to love coming to, but this new restaurant has an even better vibe than its predecessor. That, and Ralph learning how to eat spaghetti through trial and error is hilarious, especially when he decides that the best way is to simply find the ends of as many strands as possible and slurp them all up. The rest of you make a game of picking a strand each and seeing which one lasts the longest.

On the way back, Ralph gets recognised again. Thankfully, this person knows better than to flirt with a total stranger, though Ralph still seems astounded at the whole experience. This fan says something about being able to replace their icon from “the explosion photo”, and so, remembering the one from earlier mentioning an unflattering picture, once you’re all back at the house you look through Ralph’s follower list and burst into laughter. 

It seems as though his fans have taken a screenshot of his disdain after microwaving the egg and made it their profile pictures. Some have left it as is, with your kitchen in the background. Some have added further explosions and other phenomena in the background. Ralph is the only one who doesn’t see the funny side, the disappointment returning to his expression.

With a sigh, you promise him, yet again, that there is no need to be upset. You’re not upset with him, the flat was easily cleaned, the microwave remains functional. You understand that this comes from years of being raised poorly, but having to constantly remind Ralph that you aren’t mad at him, is ironically the thing that frustrates you the most about him.

The next day, after again waking up to Ralph practically on the edge of his side of the bed, you decide to go to the Lanes to explore some of the vintage shops. Mostly, for your own amusement, you want to watch Ralph react to what is considered “vintage”, but you know you’re going to have to rein it in around everyone else. The day flies by in a montage of trying on ridiculously old clothes, ones that even Ralph turns his nose up at, trying to find the most cursed old toys in every shop, and Ralph trying desperately to stifle his excitement every time he recognises something from his own time period. Ralph gets recognised again by a young, tall blonde boy and his shorter brunette friend, though those two soon get accosted themselves, which allows you to get Ralph away to the safety of a quieter shop.

After your shopping excursion, you return to the pier to play some more games, this time from the attractions around the pier. Thankfully, Ralph seems far more confident walking on it, so there’s no need for you to offer any hand-holding services - although it does already feel strange walking around with both hands empty. You manage to win a stuffed animal on a throwing game, and Ralph decides his skill set is best utilised playing hook-a-duck - though he throws the person running the game off of their rhythm when the prize he asks for is to keep the duck itself, as Ralph personally has no use for stuffed animals. The person running the game, totally baffled, ends up letting Ralph keep the rubber duck, which he seems thrilled about, placing the hook over his finger and letting the duck swing from it with great delight.

“I think I get why cats like him so much,” Connor comments from where he’s stood just behind you as you watch Ralph. “You know how you can buy them all the expensive toys they want but they just wanna play in the box?” You snort with laughter in agreement. “He’s just one of them.”

While Ralph insists on everyone referring to the duck by its name, Clarence, he apparently draws the line at your joke of offering to pay for him to shoot a photo booth reel with his new friend. He looks at you with disapproval at that one.

You still utilise Clarence in his own way, though. Everywhere you go from that point onwards, you take a photo of the duck in that area, and then post it to Ralph’s Instagram story for him, though you only do so once you’re no longer in that place, for obvious reasons.

That evening, at the house, Connor tells Ralph he’s got a surprise for him, and to close his eyes and hold his hands out. Your heart swells when you see that Connor, who had excitedly spent the best portion of an hour in a music shop, has bought Ralph his own ukulele. Ralph looks close to tears at the gift. “Oh, Connor, I couldn’t possibly -”

“None of that, you can and you will,” Connor states simply while pointing at him, and Ralph shrinks down in defeat, opting instead to look at the ukulele with marvel. You all spend the night listening to Ralph play his chords, everyone occasionally offering lyrics to the tunes he was playing. God, he fits in so well with you all. It’s going to be so heartbreaking to tell them all when it’s his time to leave.

You wonder if the window of opportunity will only be open while you’re away. It’s a risk you’ve had to take to make sure he stays safe, since he literally only proved days ago that he still can’t be trusted unsupervised. What if you miss it? Would he resent you? Would it cause some insane rip in the time-space continuum? There’s really not a lot of solid research into this whole time travel business.

The next morning, you’re shocked to awaken to Ralph’s face dangerously close to yours as it rests on the inner half of his pillow. You could count his eyelashes, they were that close. You could connect his freckles, they were that close. His lips twitch ever so slightly in his sleep as you’re studying his face. His face that’s so close to yours. His lips that are -

You quickly take yourself out of that trance and practically throw yourself down the stairs, you’re that quick to leave the room, and those thoughts.

Ralph awakens, sadly, from a dream where you’re happy to have him in your arms to find himself near enough in the middle of the bed. He wonders exactly how he got there. You’re already awake, because of course, you always are. You don’t lie awake for almost an hour every night trying desperately to stay as rigidly far away from the centre of the bed as possible.

When Ralph arrives for breakfast, the group have already decided that today is more of a lazy day. They’ll go out later, of course, but there’s no rush. Just a day spent at the house, playing more board games and listening to both Connor and Ralph playing the ukulele as Connor teaches him how to teach himself actual songs. You even post Ralph’s first photo dump to his Instagram account:

As fun as it is to get out and experience another city, especially getting to do so with Ralph for the first time, you make just as many memories on this rest day. Memories like Ralph not only playing Jackbox for the first time, but somehow winning several games. Memories like watching Grace and her boyfriend playing board games as if they’d been married for years, even though she wrongfully accuses you and Ralph of playing the same way.

In the last hour of sunlight, you realise something. “I haven’t found my rock for this year, yet!”

Ralph looks at you strangely. “Your what?” Before answering his own question. “Do you mean that shelf full of stones in the bedroom has a purpose?”

“Yes! Every year, I find myself a cool-looking rock to take back. It’s tradition,” you explain with a gesture. “Plus, it gets us all out of the house at least once.”

“W’re all goin’ out la’er,” Connor groans from where he lays across the sofa he’s been sleeping on, beneath a mountain of crisps he’s been making his way through.

“At least twice then, lazybones,” you comment, but almost everyone else is happy to stay home.

Everyone except Ralph, who hurriedly gets his shoes on. Of course, it’s just you and Ralph. Alone. Far away from home. Nothing could possibly go wrong, here.

Thankfully, you’re on a mission, here. You can distract yourself with the task of finding the best looking rock on the beach. It can’t just be the first cool rock you see, oh no. It has to be the best one. That’s always been your rule.

Ralph tries to help, but honestly, a puppy would be less excitable. He keeps grabbing the first rock he can, running up to you to ask, “Is this useful?” to which the answer is almost always “no”, and so he simply throws it back to the ground and looks again. There are three separate occasions where he shows you ones he’s already asked you about. But he’s having fun, and he looks adorable, and maybe tonight you’ll be able to delude yourself into a happy little dream where Ralph’d be happy to do anything for you. Though perhaps not quite anything, that sort of dream would have to be reserved for a time when you’re not sharing a bed with him.

You thump the side of your head with the heel of your hand, as though you’re trying to knock the idea out of your brain. There is absolutely no time and place for those kind of thoughts.

At one point, Ralph sees a young child throwing rocks one at a time into the sea, with great delight. Ralph also seems highly entertained by it, and when the kid looks over at him, he decides to join in by grabbing a whole handful of rocks and throwing them all into the water at once. The kid thinks this is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever seen before. Ralph seems happy enough to keep doing it until the kid’s parents take them away. You’re happy to just sit back on the ground and watch Ralph, taking photos and videos of this moment. 

 Ralph soon joins you where you sit, laughing breathlessly. “Oh, what a joy that was!”

“You certainly looked as though you were having a blast,” you simper. “Though if you threw away the ultimate rock amongst all of that, I may never forgive you,” you add in a sarcastic deadpan.

“I would completely understand,” Ralph nods back, unable to keep up any monotony for any amount of time before snorting with laughter. He looks out at the horizon, pointing out how the sky looks now that the sun is starting to set. “Don’t see that very often in London,” he frowns.

You shake your head, “Nah, it’s usually too cloudy. Not that different here, we’ve just caught a good moment. Looks nice, doesn’t it, all reflecting on the water and that?” You cock your head to the side and sigh happily. “Could sit here for hours watching it.”

Ralph tenses up, trying desperately not to think of how your head just rests against his arm, the weight of it still pressing down on the padded sleeve of his coat enough for him to feel it. He swallows hard, “Yes, it’s too bad that the sunset doesn’t last long at all, isn’t it?”

“You’re telling me,” you add with a soft smile before sitting up. “That’s why I wanted to try and get to the beach now, to get to see it at least once. ’m glad you came with me,” you muse before suddenly realising you’re treading into dangerous territory here. To save yourself, you quickly add, “Y’know, so that you get to see it too, while you’re still here. Since you were saying you haven’t been on a holiday like this since you were a kid. Maybe you can go on more of them once you’re back.”

“Maybe,” Ralph replies emotionlessly.

You sit in relative silence as you watch the sky together. You get a “golden hour” selfie with Ralph, mostly to teach him about it, though he says that he doesn’t see much difference between that photo and most of the others you’ve taken in the past. After realising that he’s brought it with him in his pocket, too, you spend a good few minutes laughing along with Ralph as you try to find the most photogenic angle of Clarence the duck to add to his photo collection.

Once the view stops being quite so aesthetically pleasing, you stop off at the pier again to buy some sugared doughnuts to share with Ralph as you make your way over to the pub that you plan to meet your friends at. You love this pub as another of your holiday traditions, because Wednesday nights are karaoke nights. You wonder whether Ralph’ll feel confident enough to sing along to any modern songs. The mental image of Ralph taking to the mic to sing along to Taylor Swift with his entire chest is enough to make you laugh out loud, which confuses Ralph, but you opt to not tell him, merely shaking your head and covering your mouth instead.

To your disappointment when you get there, the pub no longer does karaoke, but Wednesdays are now pub quiz nights. You still stick around for dinner, and after a couple of drinks, you end up signing up for the quiz, for a laugh. None of you expect to get very far, but Grace’s boyfriend really pulls through with sports questions, and even Ralph ends up answering the question that ultimately wins the whole quiz for you, one about a specific style of shoes that had rendered the rest of you clueless.

Everyone ends up watching your group celebrating Ralph. The leaders of the second-place team, an older blonde man and a dark-haired woman he refers to as his wife, even join in with their own congratulations.

 A pair of young women offer to buy Ralph a drink, to which Connor starts encouraging Ralph to go with them. You very quickly make conversation about the rest of the week’s plans with Anna and Grace to distract yourself, but Ralph doesn’t seem interested, much to your confusion. You look around at your friends, who all seem to be exchanging their own looks to each other, but none of them seem to want to look at you. You shake your head and make your way to the bathroom, scoffing indignantly at the two men who barge past you to get to the door next to you.

After a few minutes of silent pep talk to remind yourself that you have no right to feel bad if Ralph expresses interest in someone else, Anna comes in specifically to find her. After promising her a full eight times that you’re absolutely fine, you both head back out to the group, where Scott had brought along a game from the house that you can all play together. You notice Ralph isn’t there, but you don’t bring it up. You’re not his keeper, after all.

~~~

“Ah, ladies, this is quite an honour, obviously, but I am out with friends and it would be rather impolite to just leave them!” Ralph explains hurriedly to the two women who have approached him to congratulate him on his efforts.

“I dunno, your mate there seems pretty keen for you to come over,” one smirks in Connor’s direction.

“I must insist, I could never live with myself for taking advantage of such generous women as yourselves, though I am deeply grateful that you should wish to spend your night in my company! I’m afraid I’m very much not from around here, and so I would get frightfully lost without my friends to guide me home,” Ralph blabbers, getting more and more flustered.

“Maybe you can come back to mine, then?” The other asks, looking suggestively at him as she touches his arm. It’s a gentle contact, but it electrifies Ralph at high voltage as he yelps, pulling it away.

“Truly flattered, but I am a gentleman first and foremost and so I simply must decline such an offer, and I shan’t be staying long enough to court you appropriately, but I wish you both very well in your endeavours!” Ralph practically shouts as he turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to the toilets. 

Ralph walks in on quite a sight. Two men, reasonably bigger than himself, bent double over the sinks. “Pardon me,” Ralph calls out, with the intention on simply throwing some water on his face as a wake-up call of sorts, but the men jump up in surprise at the sound of his voice.

“Ain’t nothing to see here, mate, jog on,” one says, trying to square up against Ralph.

“Sorry, gents, just wanted a quick go at the sink, and then I’ll be out of your hair, I promise!” He smiles brightly, completely oblivious. He catches sight of a line of white powder along the counter and chuckles to himself as he recognises it as cocaine, thinking back to previous parties he’d held at Penbury House.

The first man growls, “Find something funny?”

“Oh, just reminiscing. It’s been a while since I’ve seen… You know,” his eyes flash over to the substance on the counter. “Just fondly remembering old times.”

“Oi, ain’t no way this toff’s a user,” the second man shakes his head.

The first one snarls with a smile, "You a copper?"

"Heavens, no!" Ralph laughs. "Not to worry, gentleman, I'm no telltale, your secret is safe with me!"

"I'm not buying it," the second one looks at Ralph with an upturned nose. "I reckon he's a snitch."

"Well, only one way to prove it, innit," the first one grins uncomfortably at Ralph as he gestures towards the counter. "Care to join us?" he asks in a voice that mocks Ralph's.

“Well, if you insist, I - straight from the counter?” Ralph asks in disgust, but the chorusing snarl answers him quite adequately. “I suppose beggars can’t be choosers!”

Just as he finishes the first line, he’s interrupted by a loud, “RALPH! Fucking hell, get your head out of there! What the fuck is wrong with you two dickheads?!” Connor grabs Ralph by the back of his jumper and throws him back. “You alright? How much have you had?”

“Oh please, it was barely even a full line, it’s nothing,” Ralph insists, to both Connor and Scott’s baffled expressions.

“We don’t have time to unpack that right now,” Connor throws Ralph in Scott’s direction at the emphasis, causing Ralph to trip over his own feet through both of the steps it takes to get there, and Scott catches him, trying to get a good look at his eyes. Connor turns to the two men. “Alright, look.”

“Don’t know that I feel up to much talking,” one snarls.

Connor pulls a sarcastic expression. “Oh yeah, beat a guy up in the same room your coke’s still out for the world to see, good one(!) Shut the fuck up, yeah? We didn’t see anything, neither did you. Just - I mean, what the fuck were you thinking, giving your shit away for free, to him?!”

The man shrugs, “Had to call his bluff, innit? Thought he was a narc.”

“Well, you thought wrong, didn’t you,” Connor sneers, remaining sarcastic as ever. “Just… Clean up and get the fuck out of here, yeah? C’mon,” he gestures for Scott and Ralph, who’s already starting to bounce on the balls of his feet, to get out.

~~~

Once you finally see all three boys re-emerge from the bathroom, as you’d asked the other two to check on Ralph, you notice something off amongst them. Ralph seems in far higher spirits than the others. You get up to meet them halfway and notice something white and powder-y on the edge of Ralph’s nostril. “The fuck is that?!” You ask incredulously.

Scott looks over and quickly pulls his shirt sleeve down to wipe at Ralph’s nose with it. “Nothing!” He lilts, though his expression as he flashes his eyes at you confirms your worst fears about it. Scott mutters, “We need to get him to a hospital.”

“No!” You and Ralph chorus loudly. You shush the man and hurriedly lie, “No, you’ve not seem him in a hospital, he’s fucking useless, faints the second he gets in, he hates it all, honestly. Give him here, just - I’ll take him back to the house, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“I promise you all, I am fine, I’ve done far more than that in my years!” Ralph states. “Can we please just return to our night?”

“Respectfully, mate, you don’t know what this shit’s been laced with,” Connor warns. “I’m with Scott, I think hospital’s the best place.”

“And I’m telling you, it really fucking isn’t,” you hiss back at them. “He just needs to get back home so he can’t make any more bad decisions.” Ralph frowns at your words, but you ignore him.

“Alright, we’ll pack up,” Scott starts, but you stop him.

“No, no.” You sigh, “Look, it’s still your holiday, too. I’ll take him back, I’ll keep you guys updated, but you lot just enjoy the night without us, okay?”

“We really don’t mind,” Connor shakes his head, but you persist.

“Honestly. Just…Hang on a second.” You return to the table, spinning a tale of how Ralph’s got a migraine and so you’re going to take him home as you put your outdoor clothes on. Everyone still at the table calls out well-wishes for Ralph as you make your way back to him, informing the boys of what you’ve said, and you lead Ralph out of the door into the brisk evening air.

You walk in silence, not knowing what to say. You’re concerned about Ralph, obviously, but you’re also just so mad at him for doing something so stupid. Who accepts some rando’s offer of coke off a random pub sink?! What the fuck was he thinking?! And now, everyone else is enjoying their holiday while you spend it the way you spend every single day - babysitting a 25 year old man who acts without consequence because he doesn’t bear them, you do. You may as well be at home with him.

“You know,” Ralph finally breaks the silence as you walk up the street that the house is on, “I’m not a child. I knew what I was doing.”

You sigh, “Free drugs is a massive red flag, Ralph. You could have gotten into some serious shit.”

“Well clearly not if we’re just going straight back to the house,” he points out.

“Okay, Ralph, what do you want me to say when we get to the hospital? ‘Hi, I’ve got a man here who needs drugs pumped out of his system. Name? Ralph Penbury. Date of birth? February 1st 1901. Oh, what’s that? You’ve got him marked as being dead for the last 96 years? Then what’s he doing stood here?!’” Ralph goes quiet up until you get to the front door, where you press your hands into your face and groan. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Ralph. I shouldn’t have snapped like that, that wasn’t fair. I know you can’t help… That bit. But you can say no to drugs, surely?!” More silence. With a sad sigh, you unlock the door and let Ralph go ahead. “Want me to make you a cup of tea?” You ask, and he nods before running up the stairs.

You kick yourself internally for upsetting Ralph before then arguing with yourself. Why should you be apologising? You were right. It’s your holiday, too, and he should have thought more carefully. You have every right to be upset, yourself. But you’ll forgive Ralph for that, the way you always do, because you already know you’re going to lose him at some point, and that’s going to be painful enough, and if you can put it off for as long as possible, you’re going to. 

He pads back into the kitchen in his pyjamas, looking at you with his big doe eyes as you hand him a hot mug full of tea. “It seems to be the ordinary stuff,” he states, “because it’s only just about affecting me. Same way it always does.”

“Did you… Do it often?” You ask slowly. “To cope with stuff?”

“Heavens, no, it’s no coping mechanism!” He shakes his head. “Cocaine’s always been a staple at Penbury socials. It’s… Acquiring and using it was always the thing people liked having me around for,” he explains quietly as he takes a big sip from his mug. “It barely affects me these days, just makes me… More likeable, I suppose.”

Of course there’s a dreadfully sad story to go along with this. Just more fuel for you to feel bad about snapping at him. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders as he continues drinking. “You know how much we all like having you around the way you are, Ralph. I mean, we might be able to make a citizen out of you yet if we just claim you as Scott and his partner’s adopted child!” You joke, and Ralph lets out a small, breathy laugh. 

“It’s… Hard to believe, still. Sometimes. Sorry,” he mutters, leaning down to rest his head against yours.

“You have to trust us, Ralphie,” you squeeze him gently, “that’s part of having friends. You like having us around, right?” He nods violently. “Right! So part of making sure we stay around is knowing we want to. If you don’t trust that people wanna be your friend, they’re gonna assume you don’t want them to be.”

“Is that what Scott and Connor will think of me, now?” he asks sadly.

“Well no, because they don’t know… That, what you’ve just told me.”

Even more quietly, he asks, “…Do you -?”

“Are you really asking me if I want you around?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at him. “Have I not done enough to prove my case there?!”

“More than,” he admits, still quiet. He takes another long sip and asks, “Does the TV here have all the films that we would have back at home?”

“Wanna watch Little Shop of Horrors while you come down?” You ask, amused, as Ralph nods in response. You let him curl up to lay his head on your lap as you both watch the film from the sofa Connor’s been sleeping on, Ralph’s foot tapping against the arm of it along with each song.

The rest of the gang return just before the movie ends, and they’re all happy to see that Ralph looks in relatively good condition. The pair of you retire to the bed soon after. Too tired to change out of your day clothes, you simply crawl into your side and sleep, forgetting to wish Ralph goodnight in your exhaustion.

You all decide that Thursday shall be another day on the pier, with Friday being a packing-up day due to the night out you have planned, so that you don’t have to worry about packing with a hangover and can head back as soon as you’re feeling well enough to on Saturday.

You start the day out in the arcade again, firstly making sure that you, Anna, Grace, Scott and Connor get your annual photos in the booth as per every year for as long as you can remember. You show Ralph and the others photos you have on your phone of reels from years past, to which they take great delight in seeing you all in younger years. “It’s nice to have friends that last,” Ralph smiles, and it makes your heart sink. Comments like that help your brain to justify keeping Ralph around regardless. He needs to be here, with his friends, with the people he loves and who love him. There’s been no major consequence so far. You start to wonder if there ever would be.

You quickly pull yourself from that train of thought, instead opting for the certainty of being out with your friends. Grace pulls Ralph towards the dance mats, itching to teach him, and you allow yourself to stand back with Grace’s boyfriend to watch them. Ralph may stomp on each arrow with such force that the ground shakes beneath you, but there’s no way you can comment on that when his face is lit up that much.

You lose track of him when Connor pulls him away to show him a shooting game, instead opting to go for one of the coin-pushers yourself. It seems as though Ralph also didn’t last long with that particular game, nor does he have the patience to wait for your tactical plays as he starts grabbing coins from your pot and placing them in the slots from behind you excitedly. You giggle uncontrollably as he keeps putting coins in and smugly adding the occasional, “See?” when a whole pile drops.

It’s only when you feel your back collide against his chest that you’re brought back to your senses, and you tug at his arm until you’re standing beside him instead, trying to keep your tone playful with an, “Alright, then, if you wanna play that way, don’t let me stop you!” as you find another game that’s easy ticket fodder.

Eventually, you tell Ralph that it’s time for him to face his ultimate fear, that you’re all going to ride the Crazy Mouse roller coaster. He nods, still agreeing to go on it with you all, though he remains quiet. Once you’re in the line for it, you try and brush your hand against his again to let him know you’re there for him, but he makes no attempt to hold it. You hope it’s because he’s getting braver, but his stoic expression doesn’t exactly give you that impression.

Since today is warmer than the others, none of you had really decided to wear hats today, which makes the state you all end up in after being spun and thrown around the roller coaster track all the more hilarious. Ralph’s curls especially are in full force, sticking up in all directions, which the fans who recognise him today point out a lot. You notice there are more today than ever before and check his name on Twitter to see your suspicions confirmed - people are starting to publicly announce sightings of Ralph in the wild, which is leading to people congregating with the sheer hopes of seeing him out in the wild. You’re not sure how many more of these appearances you can take.

You return to the hook-a-duck stall so that Ralph can proudly show off Clarence to the man running the stall. A young man with a mullet pouts about how he was told that he wasn’t “allowed” to keep a duck, even though it matched the red beanie his friend is wearing even today. The man behind the stall simply explains that Ralph was more charming, to the hat-wearer’s amusement.

You go back to playing more games until the people working the arcade inform you that it’s nearly closing time. All of you band your tickets together and divide them fairly to redeem a prize each, though Ralph insists that he doesn’t get a share. He is more than happy with Clarence alone. If only you’d known sooner that the best way to placate Ralph would be to stick a hook in a rubber duck’s head.

Connor picks a box that contains fuzzy car dice, “for a laugh”. It certainly does raise a lot of laughs when he opens the box to find that the ones he’s ended up with are pink, but he shrugs it off. Scott and his partner pick out as many Pokémon cards as their tickets will allow them to, Grace gets a toy monkey with magnets in its hands and feet while her boyfriend picks out an inflatable guitar. Despite having already won a rather large teddy at the can game the other day, you take pity on another soft toy that clearly looks like it got into a fight with the manufacturer and came out losing, opting to take it home with you. Ralph looks at it fearfully, and you shake it at him jokingly.

Friday holds the weight of being the last full day away. Everything feels as though it's happening in slow motion, that it isn't in real time. It doesn’t entirely help that the day is filled with the mundane act of packing until the real thing to look forward to later tonight, which now feels eons away.

 When it finally reaches lunchtime, you talk the others into getting delivery. “Whatever happened to the ‘we should get out of the house, lazybones’ mentality, eh?” Connor teases.

“Do you feel up to being there while Ralph gets accosted by fans again?” you ask bluntly. “Besides, you should see Twitter today, it’s obsessive,” you pull a face of disgust as you scroll through posts to show your friends.

“These people need Jesus,” pipes up Grace’s boyfriend.

“You said it, babe,” Grace herself adds. “Surprised they haven’t realised he’s staying here and started camping out.” Scott tentatively looks out of the window, but nods in relief to confirm that nobody’s waiting out there.

You decide to make it the feast to end all feasts, each of you ordering food from different places and all sitting amongst your plethora of food to talk about your highlights of the whole trip, compare photos and overall just enjoy each others’ company. Even Ralph seems to perk up, which you’re glad about. He’d been pretty reserved all morning, which makes sense given how dull the day’s events have been, but you’re glad to see that there isn’t something else keeping him quiet.

Finally, the night is upon you. Everyone’s promised that they’ll all be on watch in case anyone tries to approach Ralph, either weird fanatic or potential danger, so that you can just switch off and enjoy your last night before returning to London.

You feel as though you may get to really enjoy it when you catch the attention of a man who’s far from unattractive. He keeps making eye contact with you from where he’s stood at the bar and flashing his eyes in invitation. After a few pep talks with the girls, who seem a little hesitant at first but soon warm to the idea of you having a night where you finally get to flirt and be flirted with, and just get to feel special for a night. And who knows, maybe that’ll be all it is. Maybe you won’t even spend your last night back at the house. After all, what’s a holiday for if not to live totally differently to how you would at home?

When you finally approach the bar, he smirks, “Look who finally made a decision!”

“Look who’s already blowing their shot!” you reply in the same lilted tone, making him laugh. You exchange names and he offers to buy you a drink. This is everything you’ve been needing to fill your confidence gauge - mostly banter, with the occasional ice-breaker question and the more than occasional compliment thrown your way. And honestly, the way he already matches your wit without you constantly needing to explain yourself, or reassure that you’re joking, just makes him even more attractive in the moment.

Ralph watches on from a distance, absolutely seething. Of course, you deserve to be happy. He knows that. He knows that you clearly wouldn’t be happy with him, and that’s why you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length, constantly putting the time travelling situation between you and him. But Ralph absolutely cannot stand to see it happening in front of his eyes. And so, with nothing stopping him, he marches over to you and taps your arm. “Hello!”

Not expecting any interruptions, you jolt, “Jesus, Ralph, you scared the shit out of me! Uh, yeah, this is Ralph, my - flatmate,” you explain.

“That’s right, we live together back at home as well as here!” Ralph beams falsely at the other man. “So, what are we talking about?”

The man laughs awkwardly under his breath as he shuffles in place and you say through gritted teeth, “Uh, Ralph, do you think maybe Connor wants to talk to you?”

“Oh, heavens, no, he’s got a pair of young women on the go himself, the dog!” Ralph scoffs.

“Seems as though two is an awful lot of people for just one of him to manage. Think you could take one off his hands?” you ask, again trying to make it very obvious that you want him to leave.

He doesn’t seem to be taking the hint, though. “Oh, I’d only interrupt them!”

“How terrible that would be.” You deadpan, before addressing the man you’d been talking to. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here,” he tips his glass to you. “Don’t forget, it’s your turn to buy the next round!”

You shoot him a flirtatious smile and grab Ralph’s wrist to tug him away. “Listen, Ralph, mate, I think maybe… You should spend tonight more around one of the others, than with me. Yeah?”

“But what if I slip up and mention something about… The situation at hand?” he asks, gesturing at himself.

You tut exasperatedly, “I dunno, then maybe… Just really try not to bring it up? It’s not that hard, you haven’t done it yet. I just… I really needed this, Ralph. Please?”

“Are you going to leave me in the bed alone tonight?” he asks quietly. Sadly.

You sigh. “I dunno. Maybe? We’re all adults here, Ralph, you’ve spent long enough being able to sleep in my bed by yourself, I’m sure someone else’s won’t be too different.” You find Grace, who’s with her boyfriend and Anna, and park Ralph with all of them before returning to your date for the evening.

Ralph’s only half-listening to whatever everyone else is talking about. His attention is laser-focused on that man. His hair is the same colour as Ralph’s, and it’s curly just like his, but there’s more of it. His eyes are the same colour as Ralph’s, but they’re obscured with glasses. He’s taller than Ralph, and he makes you laugh more than Ralph does, and if the cup he’s holding was made of anything other than glass, Ralph would have certainly squeezed it out of shape by now, if not broken it entirely.

While the girls take a momentary bathroom break, Grace’s boyfriend nudges Ralph. “You alright, mate? You look like the nerves are taking over. Wanna do a couple shots with me? It’ll take the edge off.”

Ralph agrees, hoping that perhaps the blanket of numbness over his brain that only alcohol causes will keep it quiet. Grace’s boyfriend has already paid for the shots when Ralph looks at them in horror. The last time he saw a shot glass filled with clear liquid, it resulted in all kinds of emotions. Still, perhaps it’s another clear spirit. Perhaps it won’t make Ralph feel the way he did that night.

Or maybe this is also vodka, and once both the shots that Ralph takes hit, perhaps he’s on his way back over to you. “Hello, again!”

You look at your date with resignation. He looks back at you with sympathy. It’s him who regards the new third wheel in the conversation, “Alright, mate? Ralph, isn’t it? How you doing?”

Ralph pays him no attention at all. “I fear I have once again gotten myself into a predicament,” he tells you.

“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can get yourself out of it,” you flash warning eyes at Ralph to get back to literally anyone else.

He shakes his head, “No, no, it’s, um. It’s something you had explained to me. What are the different drinks that make me feel different things, again?”

You hold your hand to your head. “Ralph, mate… Do you feel as if something’s been put in your drink, or…?”

“I’m not sure what that would feel like,” he frowns, “but you know these things better than I do!”

“Here, look,” the man you’d been talking to stands up straight. So tall. “This has been great. Really great. But I think your flatmate needs you tonight, so… I’ll see you around, yeah?”

You shake your head dejectedly. “We literally go back to London first thing in the morning.”

He frowns at you sympathetically. “You’ve got a phone though, right?” You take it out to find that it’s out of battery.

You curse internally, “Knew there was something I forgot to do tonight. I’m so sorry.”

“Well. Perhaps in another time. It was lovely meeting you.” He looks Ralph up and down with a slight look of jealous defeat. “You too, mate,” he adds to Ralph through gritted teeth before stroking your arm once more, letting it linger for as long as possible until he walks away.

Something in you finally snaps. Every part of you is just… So done with Ralph right now. And he has the audacity to perk up again once it’s just the two of you?! “What the fuck was that about, Ralph?!”

“Well, I was just going to say that Grace’s… Gentleman friend had bought me some of those shots and I think they’re the sort that have the effect on me that you remember better than I,” Ralph explains with a slight shrug.

You shake your head. “Nah, nah, there’s more to it than that. I made it very clear that I was hitting it off with him, and I just wanted a night where I could -” You cut yourself off, but Ralph feels the tension, soaking it in himself.

“Oh, go on and get it over with, won’t you?” Ralph asks, once again playing the sad card. “It’s obvious there’s things you want to say to me, just say them to my face, please.”

“Okay, you know that’s not fair when you pull that shit, because then it makes me feel bad when I am allowed to be pissed off at you!” you snap. “You want me to say it to your face?! Alright, how’s about this, then. Having you at my ankles 24/7 is fucking exhausting, Ralph. I can’t even go on one night out and talk to one person that isn’t you, I - I didn’t sign up to be some random guy’s mother -”

“I do not see you like I would Mother!” Ralph defends, offence very obvious in his expression.

“Then why am I the one always cooking for you, always cleaning for you, always fucking working overtime because I’m paying for your bills and your food and your clothes -”

“Because, as you keep telling me, I’m not a real person here!” Ralph hisses through his teeth.

“It’s not just that, though, it’s the attitude that comes with it. You are so used to your little rich boy life that you don’t see how much I’m going through. My back is in constant fucking agony from months on that godawful sofa. I don’t get a single day off to myself anymore. I mean, fuck, you’ve had more dates than I have since you got here! I supported you putting yourself out there, even though it was one of the stupidest risks you could have taken -”

“Well, it’s a good job that didn’t work out then, isn’t it? Because once again, nobody wants anything to do with Ral-”

“Here it is again. I can’t just feel something, you have to also be feeling it twice as hard so that you’re the focus here, I - I can’t have anything for myself anymore!” you shout exasperatedly. “Not even one night where for once, I get to feel wanted. I - y’know, everyone fucking falls at their feet for you, you’ve even had people ask you out while we’re here! And nothing was stopping you if you wanted to! But the moment I want to indulge in the idea that maybe someone out there would show an interest in me -”

Ralph scoffs, “That man was only interested in one thing to do with you, and it’s much too vulgar. You deserve to be courted in the appropriate -”

“We’re not in the 1920s anymore, Ralph!” You press your fingers to your temples. “It’s not a bad thing for someone to just… Want you like that. And even then, let’s hash this out. Let’s say I could have been courted by him. You think someone like that is gonna think I’m worth sticking around for when I’ve got another man constantly in my shadow, fighting for my attention? I mean, fuck, what are you gonna do without me when you go back, eh?”

“Ah, again with the going home!” Ralph’s voice is audibly slurring by now. “It’s all you ever want to talk about with me, just tell me the truth already, it’ll hurt less. Tell me you can’t wait to be rid of me.”

“For fuck’s sake, Ralph, I don’t want you gone! Far fucking from it! But I’m not gonna mess with shit we know nothing about, and putting everything back where it was is logically the best thing to do.”

Ralph looks on the verge of crying. “So, that’s it, then. I’m not even worth a -one, I’m just a -thing now.”

“No, that’s not -” You take a deep breath. “Look. We’re going off on tangents that don’t even make fucking sense now. I’m going back to the house. To the bed, don’t worry your fragile little head, I’m not gonna go stand on a street corner like the harlot I am,” you pull a face, blinking back your own tears. “Thank you for ruining the one week a year I actually look forward to.”

You storm away from Ralph, though you find most of the group congregated together at the bar. You stop by them to explain that you and Ralph got into a fight, that you don’t want to talk about it but could they please just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. They promise that they will, and so you head out of the bar, straight into one of the parked taxis and finally let yourself cry as it drives you back to the house.

next chapter

[blocksruinedme]

Hermicraft/Empires Rift Lore, Oct 9-17

tl;dr: Grian pushed a mysterious button in front of his weird rift that was likely(?) put there by an AU version of his robot son from a previous season, and now emperors are throwing foxes, eggs, and a tiny Jimmy onto Hermitcraft, watch the Hermitcraft charity livestream on sunday october 23 because it would be bizarre if emperors aren't going to the charity games. (Joel, don't kill the horses!)

Want more evidence? Here's video, then text.

People

Gem is in both Hermitcraft and Empires and I’ve seen no suggestion something is weird

False is in both HC & Empires, and her Empires character woke up there with no memory and *lore* and *stuff* is going on for real

Pearl is in Hermitcraft and was in Empires season 1, there’s all this lore, there’s cathedrals she’s a saint, she’s a goddess, she lives above afterlife smp in her HC s8 megabase and sent Oli from Afterlife to Empires to be a youtuber isekai protagonist? idk there’s a lot.

Sausage is having flashbacks to previous lives and is very entangled with Pearl, who was a close friend in empires s1 and now he worships her i guess

Recent events

Grian has a strange rift in his base - it’s like purple glass but not an actual portal. 

He also has Grumbot Prime, a version of his and Mumbo Jumbo’s abandoned political strategist super computer son Grumbot, who (canonically!) comes from an AU where Mumbo won the mayoral election in season 7. He sometimes says creepy things like “My Grian was sorry too.” 

These clips!

Oct 9: Grian finds a button in front of the rift that says “Begin?”. Grumbot tells him to push it via… don’t worry about it, he just does. Grian thinks someone else made grumbot say it. Grian tries to not push the button. He pushes the button.

Oct 11: Lizzie finds a new weird rift on Empires and sends Gary, a Fox-skinned-villager, to investigate.

Oct 12: Pixlriffs throws some eggs at the rift, and hears phantom clucking.

Oct 12: Joey finds the rift and leaves.

Oct 13: Fwhip finds the rift, hears a faint explosion, and leaves. He later returns with Lizzie to send his own explorer Sniff, Explorer of the Deep, in after Gary.

Oct 13: Joel tosses a Jimmy toy through the rift because there’s literally nothing else he could do, The Lore Commands It.

Oct 15: Scott thinks he hears a skeleton, then finds and rejects the rift.  

[Note: as emperors visit the rift it is getting louder and eerier]

Oct 15: Back on Hermitcraft, False goes to talk to Grumbot, finds the rift is now an actual nether portal, starts freaking out. She gets a zap when she goes too close, and then flies away, saying she’s done with grumbot, he’s been doing his own experiments, he’s obviously lt no better than the other one, have to keep an eye on him, doesn’t he know what happened last time. WHAT????? I haven’t watched a lot of s7 but I asked around and that doesn’t seem to line up with anything that happened in this timeline!!!! Where are you from, where is e!False from, what??

Oct 16: e!Gem visits the rift and leaves

Oct 16: Oli is going to have a festival, on the bridge right next to the rift, in one week, which happens to be the date of the Hermicraft charity stream that is going to have non-hermit special guests! What a random coincidence! While on the bridge, Sausage thinks he hears arrows, and goes to the rift, which is very loud. He pokes around and says “Santa Perla, what is this?”, throws a sunflower at the rift (sunflowers are e!Pearl’s motif), blacks out, comes to in the water in front of the empires rift, and goes home.  

Oct 17: Back around to Grian again! He is aware that his rift is now a nether portal and annoyed about spawns. He tries to go through and minecraft crashes, ha ha buggy portal super regular. There is a fox just hanging around in his base in the background, he never comments. There’s also a floating feather and a pig. Did Lizzie and fWhip’s explorers turn into a regular fox and a regular pig in vanilla hermitcraft? Did the fox then eat Pix’s chickens? WHERE’S JIMMY. 

Then Grian shoots some fricking TNT through the portal, because why not. This is presumably what fWhip heard. Scott thought he heard skeletons and Sausage thought he heard arrows SO we’ll see I guess!!! 

I'm really new in town, but I'm really digging this fandom and finding other people pouring over screenshots and such, I could never have done this in a vacuum!

[verslxt]

radio shows ~ r. suna

“i currently have y/n miya, world renowned model. sister to msby jackal player atsumu miya. and dating ejp rajin player rintaro suna”.

you smiled at the introduction to yourself “i’m so glad you could have me on”

you knew atsumu made everyone listen to this. osamu probably had the tv on watching the livestream. and suna was most definitely listening to it.

“so do you know of anyone who is listening to the show currently” the interviewer asked

“uhm yes i do actually, and i have one correction to make to your introduction. i have my brothers listening. hi atsumu and osamu. and i have my fiancé suna listening”

suna had preposed to you at a family gathering at his families house. atsumu and osamu already knew but not everyone knew. you talked it over with suna if you could say you two were engaged or not and he said yes

“oh wow, how long have you two been dating?”

“well he was in 1st year of high school and i was still in junior high. when i finally got into high school he asked me out. to homecoming actually”

“how did he ask you out”

“a sign. oh my god this boy had everything planned out. i was a cheerleader for basketball during the time. so i helped the volleyball team by being their manager. atsumu made me to do it. i’m not that mad about it anymore because i met suna from it. he used our golden doodle to ask me out. i still remember what the sign said too ‘if my puppy dog eyes don’t work maybe nini’s will’. oh my god poor nini he put a sign on her that said ‘hoco with suna?’. i said yes because i loved nini. nini is now 6ft under”

you felt your phone buzz. you knew it was suna. you smiled a little bit

“your smile is so beautiful”

“thank you so much”

“we’re going to cut to a song. what do you think we should play, y/n”

“let’s play an inrarizaki favorite. ohmami by chase atlantic”

“with maggie lindemann or just normal?”

“normal”

you thought of suna saying ohmami. this boy loved the song. he loved doing some special activities during the song. you felt your phone buzz again

“bitch, i'm fuckin' styling yeah ooh-ooh-ooh, oh yeah whoa”

you picked up your phone

rinnie<3🥰 your doing great baby 🫶🏽

y/n ❤️ thank you baby 🫶🏽

dumbass 1 😐 ohmami really?

fucking dumbass 🥱 yea, lost my virginity to it 😶

dumbass 1 😐 EWWWWW

fucking dumbass 🥱 YOU ASKED

the song ended and the interview picked back up

“i love that song so much”

“me too. now, do you and suna ever want kids”

you smiled. you and suna have been having this conversation since you two got together “yes we would. we only want 2 of them. and if i carry the twin gene then we may have to go through pregnancy once”.

“what’s your favorite song currently”

“i have a few actually! mine by 1nonly, r u mine by arctic monkeys, problems by mother mother and needed me by rihanna”

“y/n miya a mother mother fan?”

“oh and get scared”

suna taught you all those bands. other than a handful. suna really made you into who you are today

“can you do a perfect accent?”

you start in a perfect british accent “well funny you say that”. then you switch to an australian accent “i can do a kermit one too”. and that’s when you switch to kermit “well i say where is miss. piggy. i swear i lose that girl more than i lose my mind sometimes”.

you laugh, you knew atsumu never knew you could do those. so he’s probably surprised. you and osamu yell at each other in an australian accent. and then you and suna go around the house yelling in the house in the kermit accent

“do you know…the muffin man?”

“the muffin man?”

“ThE mUfFiN mAn”

the interviewer laughs “now we know ms. miya can do accents perfectly. now if you weren’t famous what would you be doing”

“ohhhh i would either be doing cheer for the msby jackals or be a massage therapist”

“what would you name your boat if you had one”

“oh goodness, now me and suna have been wanting a boat since like forever. and we decided we would name it the beayatch”

“what’s the dumbest thing you’ve gotten injured from doing?”

“how much time do we have. let’s see i got dropped by osamu and atsumu trying to do a cheer stunt. now based on their muscles at the time you would think they could hold me up right? wrong they dropped me so hard, i twisted my ankle and now i can move my knee cap anyway i want. another time i was cooking dinner and suna was in the mood if you know you know. and he sat me up on the counter and we kinda forgot to turn off the burner”

“how is it like dating suna”

“after noon naps. i get so greatful for them sometimes. uhm this boy can cook really good, he and his mom used to cook together all the time. so he picked up recipes from her. it’s really fun, i’m glad i get to marry him”

“awww, we’re going to go to a song but don’t leave yet we still have burning questions sent in from you guys! stay tuned. now what song should we play”

“oooo problems by mother mother”

“problems coming up”

you picked up your phone and texted suna

y/n ❤️ am i doing good

rinnie 🥰 your doing great baby

y/n ❤️ love you rinnie

rinnie 🥰 love you too

the interview picked back up. and she asked you the one question you were hoping she wouldn’t ask

“so there have been a few rumors of suna cheating, what have you two done about it?”

"“oh, now the pictures that were leaked of him cheating was when we were in high school. that was his girlfriend before me. and we do some checks on our phones, we just ask each other to see mine or his phone when we feel like they are acting weird, but one day he denied me to look and then he told me after he preposed why i wouldn’t let me look. it was because he was texting osamu about it, and he was acting weird because of that”

"oh, so he wasn't really cheating"

"no, he wasn't"

you knew suna would never cheat on you, he loves you way too much. and you love him way to much to cheat on him as well

"oh that's all the time we have with ms. miya"

"oh wow that passed by quickly"

~time skip~

"mhm you smell good" suna said shoving his face in your neck as you texted atsumu

"thank you rinnie"

"what do you want for dinner?"

"anything really, i don't care. as long as its not sushi, i'm pregnant"

suna picked you up so fast you dropped your phone back onto the couch, showing that you were talking to your mom and not actually atsumu.

"oh my god are you actually pregnant?"

"yes rinnie i was just telling my mom"

"i love you, i love you, i love you"

"i love you too rinnie"

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Love Rises From The Ashes 🔥 | Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Lt. Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace x male rockstar!reader (romantic), Lt. Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x reader (past romance), dagger squad x reader (platonic)

Content Warnings: fluff, profanity, light angst, mentioned of implied suggestive content| Male!reader (he/him) | wc: 7.1k

Premise: High school sweethearts don’t always get a second chance at love. Natasha Trace and Y/n L/n surely didn’t think they would. With Natasha becoming one of the best fighter pilots the Navy has ever produced and Y/n sealing his name as rock music’s resident bad boy, the two couldn’t be on opposite sides of the spectrum. But fate seems to work in mysterious ways.

requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Note: to the anon who requested this I hope you enjoyed it! So sorry it took awhile, I had to deal with dropping a class and things came up so I hope I delivered with everything you imagined. Thank you so much for your patience ! I had so much fun writing this and loved every second! ♥️

Songs headcanon for rockstar!reader: “Giving Up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend, “Where I Come From,” by Passion Pit, “The Antidote,” by St. Vincent, “No Control,” & “Girl Almighty” by One Direction, “These Streets,” by Bastille, “Beggin’” By Måneskin.

February 2023

“Hello I’m Ryan Secrest and we are live from the red carpet at Crypto.com Arena at the 65th Annual Grammy Awards! It’s the biggest night in music with all the stars here tonight—Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Lizzo, Bad Bunny and Beyonce have been spotted. Hip-Hop celebrates 50 years with a stellar lineup in tonight’s tribute as well as honors to music legends Smokey Robinson and Berry Gordy. Everyone’s buzzing about the upcoming performance—Bad Bunny is rumored to be opening the show and rock n roll bad boy Y/n L/n will be sharing the stage with icons The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Stay tuned or tap into our livestream happening on YouTube as we greet music's biggest stars as they walk the red carpet.”

Fixing the collar of his neon green Versace suit, Y/n smiles when he feels Natasha take his hand as the limo approaches the entrance of the carpet. Dressed in a stunning black gown with neon green poking through the sides and the iconic Versace paperclips attaching them together, Nat was a goddess. Her makeup was similar to his, light with black eyeliner to accentuate her eyes with neon green graphic detailing to make it pop. Only Nat’s was clean and sharp whereas Y/n’s was smudged. A glossy nude painted her lips.

“How are you feeling?” She asked softly, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. “Nervous?” It didn’t surprise him that Nat could tell what he was feeling. They’d known each other for so long it was easy to pick up on cues from one another.

“You would think I’d be used to this by now,” Y/n chuckled, flipping his hand so his palm encased hers. “After so many years….but still the carpet part has me sweating.” Briefly thinking back to one of his first red carpets, Y/n internally cringed as the image of him not knowing what the hell to do and talking to so many reporters in a short amount of time. Nowadays he’s had no filter and will say whatever shit comes to mind. The media loves it obviously…except when it’s directed at them.

For the rockstar, he only liked showing up to award shows for the show itself. He looked forward to sitting in the chairs with fellow musicians, watching performances, and the thrill of excitement when he won whatever he was nominated for.

Personally he could do without the red carpet. But unfortunately it came with the event. It was the fucking Grammy’s after all.

Nat patted his hand, pulling him from the memory, “You’re a pro at this, babe. Patty and I will be there every step.” Patty was his publicist, who really made it easier for him on carpets by telling the interviewer to keep it fast and quick. “And if you feel overwhelmed or want to get out of there quickly just squeeze my hand and we’ll book it.” The offer makes Y/n laugh, kissing Nat’s hand as he brings it to his lips.

“What would I do without you, Natasha Trace?”

“I like to not think about that,” she teases with a smirk, “But you’d probably try to find a backdoor to sneak into the stadium.”

“Yeah…I definitely would.”

As the limo came to a stop, Y/n mentally prepared himself to face the dozens of cameras, screaming fans, and vulture reporters. He wondered where the guys were going to be seated. Knowing Rooster they probably got the floor beside the stage reserved for fans or front rows of the stands on the side. Either way, he was gonna search them out once they got inside.

Cheers met Y/n’s ears, ringing as he gave a brief wave when stepping out of the vehicle. Turning he held out his hand to assist Natasha, her diamond engagement ring sparkling under the daylight. The cheers seemed to increase at the sight of her, the woman blushing while Y/n smoothed out the fabric of her dress. With a kiss to her cheek, he took her hand and led her onto the carpet, both waving to the many supporters calling out to them.

“Y/n, I love you!!!”

“You look gorgeous, Natasha!! You guys are so hot!!”

“Good luck tonight—it’s your year!!”

Then you had the photographers shouting over them.

“Y/n, Natasha, over here!!”

“Can we get a glimpse of that ring, Natasha?”

“When’s the wedding—are you two having it in San Diego or New York?”

“Over here, Y/n, over here!”

“Y/n, are you excited to perform with the Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight?”

“Yes I am,” he replied over the noise, making the guy give a smile of victory he got acknowledged. “It’s gonna be epic, I can tell you that.”

Soon it came time for the interviews. And God was there a lot. E! Network, Access Hollywood, MTV, ABC, EXTRA, Hollywood Reporter, Entertainment Tonight, & The Insider….and those were just the major ones. Smaller networks were present as well, but thankfully Y/n’s publicist only scheduled him for the big ones.

“Y/n, Natasha, lovely to see you two here tonight,” the lady from Entertainment Tonight greeted them with a smile, “you two look stunning—who are you wearing?”

“These are custom pieces from Donatella Versace herself,” smoothing a hand down his chest, Y/n gave Natasha a twirl to show off her gown. “It’s the Grammy’s so you know we had to roll in nothing but the best.”

“As you should—we love to see it. Let me be the one of many congratulations on your recent engagement,” the couple grinned, thanking her while the camera panned to Nat’s ring. “You two have been together for four years, correct?”

“Going on four this year. But if you count when we were teenagers then about seven,” Winking, Y/n sees Nat blush once more, the reporter lovin the juicy details.

“That’s right, you two were high school sweethearts. How was it when you guys rekindled, did it feel like it was back then or sorta fresh?”

Natasha answered this time, “A mix of both really. We had been good friends as kids that blossomed into young love before fate took us separate ways. When we reunited it was almost like meeting a different person while also feeling the sense of familiarity within them. If that makes sense,” she laughs at the end.

“I agree, but then again I know not to disagree with this one,” Y/n teases, tickling Nat’s side to make her giggle. The reporter and cameras were eating it up. Y/n brings his fiancée closer to him, “We gotta thank our buddy, aka my old flame turned bestie, Rooster, who brought us back together. That’s not his actual name by the way,” the rockstar laughs at the perplexed expression of the reporter, “He is not named after a male chicken.”

“Old flame?” She hums curiously, “by that do you mean your ex?”

Y/n feels his publicist tap him on the shoulder, signaling it was time to go to the next interviewer. Squeezing Nat’s hand, he smirks to the camera, “He prefers to be called, ‘long-term booty call,’.” With that he spun on his heel to escort Nat away, chuckling at the lady’s jaw dropping at the answer. Beside him, Nat playfully tsks, “Bradshaw’s never gonna forget that.”

“Oh he loves it.”

If you asked the 36 year old rockstar that his once fling with a hot asipiring Naval aviator would lead him to his teenage love, Y/n would’ve told you, “This ain’t a fucking romance story. But I love the optimism.”

Traveling back in time while he goes through the many reporters and photographers, Y/n could still picture the once young 15-year old smitten with the girl next door who was his best friend. What was supposed to be a pact between the two of each other’s first kiss, turned into something more than was once a fantasy to them. Both harboring crushes without saying anything until the feelings after the kiss became too much and they were spilling the confessions at the same time.

“I like you—.”

“I like you—.”

“Wait—what?”

“You serious right now?” Cue a passionate kiss seconds later. The two over the moon in what could only be described as a teenage dream happening before their eyes. Endless nights of sneaking out without their parents knowing to cuddle and skateboard down the quiet streets, exchanging kisses while the stars danced above them. Stares from their peers in school were envious on both ends. Girls jealous that Nat was with the resident bad boy they all desired to have while guys couldn’t believe Y/n pulled the girl of their dreams.

They were complete opposites.

Y/n with his gages, ripped 80s band t-shirts and chains with highlights in his hair. Kids would call him names because he liked makeup, painted his nails and often wore large shirts as dresses with heeled boots. He wasn’t afraid to call people out on their bullshit even if they were figures of authority and was open about loving people regardless of what rested between their legs. While he was smart he didn’t care much for school but still did what he had to do though it was half ass.

Then you had Natasha, captain of the color guard and member of the JROTC drill team. Every year she was elected the president or VP of the class’s student council, claiming student body president of her senior class. Popular wasn’t the right term for her. Nat was well known throughout the school by name but she wasn’t someone who surrounded herself with a lot of friends. Not to mention she wasn’t the typical stuck up bitch people associated with popularity. Kind and nurtured, Nat was the type to welcome new students and offer tutoring to those in need. She was the top student in all her classes, rumored to be the Valedictorian when she graduated and crowned homecoming Queen.

Two sides of a coin, while Natasha was the one everyone saw making it big in the world, people believed Y/n would be a lost cause in the world. His grades were the bare minimum, test scores lacking when it came to college applications and showed no interest in pursuing higher education. Really the only thing he enjoyed was music class and showed talent in English when they were in poetry lessons. His teacher once said, “These are like songs, Y/n. I’m amazed with how lyrically beautiful they are,” she reads over the lines before handing the paper back to him, “Have you ever thought of going to music school?”

“I would if my family could afford it and if it was a guarantee my work would make it big. But it’s not so why waste my time and money.” Was always his answer.

His girlfriend on the other hand had every teacher offering to write letters of recommendation. Her ACT and SAT scores were exceeding, qualifying for Ivy League schools like Harvard and Princeton. Any university Nat applied to was met with an acceptance letter, the one bringing her most joy from the Naval Academy.

It was already common knowledge to Y/n that Nat wanted to be a pilot. Ever since they were kids she was talking about planes and flying. She was one of those kids who loved going to the airport when her family went on vacation that required them flying. One time she even asked to see the cockpit and was captivated by all the controls the pilots were telling her about. Then the local air show took place at the nearby naval base, securing the dream for Natasha she was determined to achieve.

So when the summer after graduation ended, both knew what was coming.

“We’ve got each other on MySpace,” her voice is soft, keeping her eyes on him while her family finished packing up the car with her belongings. “We can write letters and send emails. Maybe even plan a visit some time?”

“Yeah,” Y/n agrees, matching her tone. Hands in his pockets, he tries not to show how heartbroken he is. It was a mutual breakup so it shouldn’t hurt too much, but when it’s your first love you’re saying goodbye to the impact is lasting. “Even if we fall off, Nat, just know I’m always rooting for you. You were made for something more than this shitty place.”

“So are you,” she counters. “You act like you have nothing going for you now that school is over, but Y/n you have so much talent. You should really try to find a band or intern at some label—no matter how small. Maybe someone will see your work. I’m rooting for you too, you know?”

“I know, Natty. I’ll think about it. You just focus on becoming the best damn pilot the Navy has ever seen. We’ll see what fate has planned for me.”

Off to the Academy, Nat shed tears as the image of her now ex-boyfriend got smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. She could only hope they would stay in contact, or cross paths in the future, but for now she had a mission to do.

Out of school and with little to his name, Y/n packed up everything he owned and moved to New York City. There he found an ad for a roommate with a bunch of guys who attended Pratt Institute, which just so happened to be above a music store. Quickly he secured a job at the shop and worked as many days as he could to save up for equipment to start making his own music.

Unfortunately he and Natasha did fall off like he expected. It pained him to admit he wasn’t surprised, but when the two of them were on completely opposite sides of the spectrum and lives going separate paths, it was bound to happen. All he hoped was for her to be having a great time at the Academy. That she would have all her dreams come true. From the sidelines he was her cheerleader.

After a couple years of working at the store, however, the shop owners Y/n had become close to eventually allowed him to borrow some instruments they had that were not for sale—so long as he did not fuck them up. Originally Y/n planned to make mock music videos for his songs and upload them to the buzzing video sharing website YouTube.

What he didn’t plan for was his boss contacting a buddy of his who happened to work at Def Jam Records after Y/n showed him his demo for ‘Giving Up The Gun.’

“Y/n, come here real quick,” Alan called him over from behind the register, the 21-year-old noticing he was with a man in a suit. The man appeared to be the same age as Alan, shaking Y/n’s hand when he introduced himself, “The name's Dale Kingston. You must be Y/n, Alan has told me a lot about you.”

“Hello, Sir,” he politely replies, glancing over to Alan with a raised brow. “Forgive me, but he’s never mentioned me to you.” The two men lightly laugh.

“Nah I wouldn’t put it past him too. Old man likes to keep everything about him mysterious.”

“I don’t who you’re calling old,” Alan quips back playfully, “Anyway, Y/n. Dale and I go way back—we were roommates in college actually. And while I made a career of sharing the art of music by opening my businesses, Dale ended up making a career of looking for the next best talent in the industry. He’s an exec at Def Jam Records,” Y/n felt his bulge open, flickering to Dale who nodded as Alan’s lips rose to a smirk. “And I sent him what you showed me. Hope you don’t mind, but Dale would like to talk to you if you’re alright with it.”

In just one hour of conversing, Dale left Y/n with his business card and a meeting with his team at their headquarters in Manhattan that weekend. Bursting through the door of his apartment, Y/n’s roommates flinched at the sudden sound, “Get up motherfuckers we’re going out tonight!!!” At the popular gay bar just up the street from where they lived, Y/n and his roommates celebrated with drinks and made out with strangers while dancing to Rihanna and Lady Gaga blasting through the speakers.

“Yo, Y/n/n, that hottie in the Hawaiian shirt is totally eye fucking you right now.”

“Well hot damn,” he hummed in delight, making eye contact with said hottie in a Hawaiian shirt. ‘Oh I’m going home with him tonight.’

The hottie in the Hawaiian shirt was named Bradley Bradshaw. A total stud, he rocked the 80s pornstache like no other and a body Y/n wanted to lick sugar off of. He was a native of Virginia who was visiting New York with some of his friends to celebrate his impending entrance to the Naval Academy.

Y/n found this as they basked in the afterglow of their hot session following the bar, “Wait, you’re going to the Naval academy? This fall?”

“Yup,” Bradley proudly states, “It sucks though cause I’ll be the oldest in my class. I’m about to be twenty-two and I’ll be surrounded by eighteen and nineteen year olds.”

“Why is that?” At Bradley’s changed expression, Y/n quickly takes the question back. “Nevermind, don’t tell me if you don’t want to. Shit, I just made it awkward.”

“No-no-no,” Bradley chuckles, placing his beer down on the nightstand. “It’s okay—just I am still bitter about it as you can tell. My uh…the guy who was like a father to me after my dad died pulled my application when I initially sent it in high school.” The confession has Y/n frown, feeling the wave of sadness and resentment radiate off of Bradley.

“That fucking wasn’t right. Did he ever tell you why?”

“No. He wouldn’t when I confronted him,” he rubs his jaw, “I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Switching things up so as to not further upset Bradley, Y/n asks, “What are you going for?” This brings light to the man, a smile coating his face.

“Aeronautical engineering.”

Something in Y/n’s stomach flipped, “Oh wow…are you wanting to be a pilot?” Surprise now takes over, Bradley raising a brow as asks how he knew. Y/n lights a blunt, taking a deep inhale to prepare him for explaining. He would’ve offered Bradley it but now knowing he was going to a military academy it was best not to.

“My ex girlfriend is there for the same. In fact…she should be graduating next spring,” he sighs out the smoke, feeling the ease fill his veins as memories of Natasha play in his mind. “Being a pilot was all she ever dreamed of. It’s why she worked so hard in school to meet the requirements for the program. Valedictorian, Cadet Colonel of the JROTC unit—we had Air Force not Navy though,” he specified at Bradley’s tilt of the head of the ranks. “We broke up just before she moved into the dorms. It was mutual, no hard feelings at all. She was going places and at the time I wasn’t.”

“And now you’re going places?” Bradley wondered aloud. Lips lifting in a smirk, Y/n simply replied, “Let’s sure fucking hope so.”

The rest of the night was filled with small talk and discussions about each other’s hopeful future. Y/n filled Bradley in on his dreams of music and how he was meeting with execs from Def Jam. Bradley was leaving back to Virginia soon but they promised to meet up again and keep in touch. They continued to hook up a few more times after that night and even went on a few dates, but after a couple months they realized they were better off as friends. Just like with Natasha, Y/n didn’t want to tie Bradley down or expect something serious when he was just starting his Naval career.

Plus, his own dreams were just getting started.

“That was ‘Giving Up The Gun,’ by an upcoming artist from Def Jam Records, Y/n L/n. The twenty-one year old from Scottsdale, Arizona seems to be giving a new voice to rock music, throwing in elements of pop and techno that we’ve gotten lucky to hear from his newly released EP. Critics and fans have already started labeling him the next David Bowie due to his colorful hair and outfits while not being afraid to wear glitter eyeshadow and lipstick. For those of us in the studio, we’re looking forward to what Y/n has to offer the music world.”

An EP became an album. One that hit the top of the charts in its first few weeks and established Y/n as the next rock n roll bad boy. Winning Best New Artist at the VMAs and AMAs, the early 2010s had Y/n’s name written all over it. Appearances on Good Morning America and the Ellen Degeneres Show. New York became his base of operation and soon Y/n embraced the high life he was getting from making it big. Rooster and him met up often to celebrate each milestone, the two growing closer as the years went on.

The next big break came in 2011 when Y/n was offered features on the Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 soundtracks. ‘Where I Come From’ & ‘The Antidote’ were huge successes. He couldn’t believe he was walking the red carpet of a Hollywood premier when the film was released. And Lord was Robert Pattinson a sight for sore eyes. Kristen too. The soundtrack went on to receive a Grammy nomination with Y/n winning at the Teen Choice Awards the next summer. A world tour shortly after, Y/n fell in love with the road and meeting fans every night from across the globe.

And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the fan casts people made of him. Anytime it was announced a book was getting an adaptation, he was always what people pictured as the bad boy/sexy villain.

But acting wasn’t something Y/n was interested in. Personally he felt like he couldn’t act for shit and wouldn’t handle 12 hour work days or having to move every few months for a new project. New York was his home, with L.A being his second, and music was his life.

By 2016 Y/n had really made a name of himself in the music world. He was featured on more film soundtracks like Fast & The Furious 7 and Deadpool. Rock music got a new wave of fans. Y/n even changed it up a bit by collaborating with pop artists and rappers. ‘These Streets’ was well received by critics and fans, earning Y/n his third Grammy nomination that he had yet to win.

“You’re gonna get this year, Y/n/n,” Rooster assured him, passing a beer as they sat on the lounge chairs overlooking the beaches of Virginia. “If you don’t then they’re fucking out of their mind. Your hits this year were amazing—top of the charts and platinum in weeks! I’ll boycott them next year if they don’t give it to you.”

Unfortunately Rooster would have to make due with that promise for a few years.

Y/n didn’t want to say he cared about winning a Grammy. But truth be told he did wish he could say that of the nearly seven nominations he had received by 2019, he got a win. Whether it was Record of The Year or Album of The Year, it seemed the golden trophy was out of his reach. Whenever it was brought up in interviews he would brush it off saying, “I’m honored to have been recognized just from my nominations, but I don’t believe it should dictate how I am as an artist.”

One day he hoped to be standing on the stage, holding the award and thanking his loved ones and team who were just as much of winners as he was. But only time would tell.

Speaking of time, it seemed to work in mysterious ways.

A phone call from Rooster in December of 2019 had Y/n clad in a stunning suit appropriate for a Military ball and on his way to meet some of the pilots colleagues. It was to be a celebratory event to commemorate the group of Top Gun alumni in their successful mission stopping a uranium enrichment plant from becoming operational. Y/n had been very worried when Bradley informed him of the assignment. He was overseas finishing up his tour so one could imagine the anxiety he felt at the possibility his best friend could die.

Bradley picked Y/n up from his hotel in San Diego, the two having a quick pregame before arriving at the venue to the shell-shocked faces of the officers. Mickey, who was introduced as Fanboy, could barely make out words. Javy and Jake were looking at each other with expressions that read, “what the actual fuck?”, while Payback took a moment to be like ‘woah’ and proceed to act like Y/n was just a regular person.

“So how do you two know each other?” Jake was the first to ask what everyone was thinking. It wasn’t everyday one learns their rival-turned-friend was casually best friends with one of the best modern rock stars of their generation. Then he choked on his beer when Y/n simply replied, “We used to hook up.”

The questions rolled off from there.

“Wait, you two were together?”

“And you stayed friends?”

“Hold the phone, I need some details.”

After taking time to answer the questions, Rooster takes the moment to ask, “Where’s Phoenix and Bob?” This has Y/n raise his brow, not knowing who either were. Rooster had only briefly mentioned his colleagues to him, but never really explained who they were or how they met. He liked to keep his work life separate from his personal life.

Payback answered, “they’re on the way. I think Bob mentioned his Dress Blues were lost in the cleaners so he had to scramble to get a tux.”

“Damn. Well let’s get some drinks ready for when they get here.”

To say Y/n’s jaw about hit the floor when his eyes landed on Lt. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was an understatement. In fact he had to rub his eyes just to make sure it was really her he was seeing. The same could be said for Natasha, who’s own eyes were bulging from her skull.

“Nat?”

“Y/n/n?’

Now everyone was looking between the two. “You two know each other too?”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh, “Well if this isn’t a small world, then I don’t know what is.” A sudden feeling he couldn’t describe washed over him. He turns to Rooster to whisper under his breath, “You remember my high school girlfriend I once told you about?” Now it’s the pilot whose eyes are wide.

“Nat’s your high school sweetheart?” The exclamation could pretty much be heard through the entire venue, the daggers all showing faces of shock.

“Yup,” Y/n pops the ‘p’, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “She sure is.” Facing Nat, he bites his lip and says, “Uh, how have you been, Nat? It’s been like….I wanna say ten…fifteen years?”

“Just about, yeah,” Nat blushes, unsure how to respond. But how does one respond when they’re faced with their high school sweetheart who was a best selling rockstar? “I’ve been good. I would ask the same, but I’ve been following your career since you debuted.”

“You have?” Y/n was surprised by this. “Wow, um thank you. I see you were just as successful in your endeavors.” It comes to his mind that Natasha was the person Bradley always referred to as Phoenix in his stories. “Bradley’s told me a lot about you…but I never thought to ask what the name of ‘Phoenix’ was. Possibly I would've reunited with you sooner if I did.”

Nat takes the drink Y/n hands to her with a thanks, “You know when he mentioned he was good friends with someone named Y/n that he used to be involved with, I just assumed it was someone who shared a name with you. I didn’t think to ask further.”

“Eh, I don't blame you. I felt the instant awkwardness at the realization you and him share an ex.” Gesturing for the two to sit at a table away from the others, Y/n shared a look with Bradley and saw him biting back a laugh at his words. Nat on the other hand appeared a little flustered.

“How long were you together?” She cringed at how awful the question sounded. Why the fuck did she need to know? Her and Y/n had been broken up for years. It’s not like they were going to just pick things back up where they left off.

“Oh only a couple months. We realized we were better off as friends—especially since he was going off to the Academy and I had just been signed. To be honest,” Y/n paused to sip his beer, “it was mostly just the physical attraction we needed to get out of the way. It was great while it lasted but it never felt like it could become something more.” He made sure to not add the tiny fact he still had feelings for Natasha at the time.

Well maybe he still did. Lord knows being next to her was giving him those schoolboy feelings again.

The two talked almost the entire night. And then when the ball was done and the team migrated to The Hard Deck, they continued to stay close to each other. Nat told Y/n all about her years at the Academy and making it to fight school. Becoming one of the few female aviators and an alumni of the prestigious Fighter Weapons School before ending with the details about the mission she did with Rooster.

“It was the most intense thing I had ever been a part of,” she explained. “I’ve seen some crazy shit in all the years I’ve been flying. But this mission was beyond my limit—I-I still can’t believe we managed to pull it off.”

“I’m really proud of you, Nat,” Y/n’s smile was genuine, filled with sincerity. “Rooster told me about what he could, and hearing your side just makes me so grateful you guys came home.”

Y/n gave Nat all the juicy details of his high life in the music industry. How his boss was friends with an executive from Def Jam and was basically the reason he got discovered. He couldn’t help but laugh when Nat admitted she bought his albums and would watch the award shows he attended.

“I’m just so happy for you!” She defended with a playful shove. “After I heard you made it big of course I was going to support you anyway I could. You were also featured in Twilight and I happened to be obsessed with it when it came out so I was very excited to see you were featured on the soundtrack. Call me biased but ‘The Antidote’ and ‘Where I Come From’ are my favorites you’ve ever released.”

By the end of the night…or nearly morning because the time was pushing 4 am, Y/n and Nat parted ways with the promise of meeting up for coffee that weekend.

Neither went into things expecting anything to happen. As adults they simply wanted to see how things played out and if being friends could be possible. They didn’t end on bad terms which was good in itself. So why not try to make a friendship?

Well when a global pandemic hits when you and your ex are hanging out that results in you two having to go through quarantine together….close proximity can result in things neither planned for.

It first started out with simple compliments and the two watching movies together. Then it progressed to acts of service where Y/n would bring Natasha lunch or coffee when she was remotely working from home. For weeks this happened with both battling feelings beginning to resurface. Natasha tried to brush it off like a teenage crush. That she was being a hopeless romantic at the thought she and Y/n could possibly date again.

Would it be different now that they were adults? It’s not like they were kids again. Both were in successful careers that they worked hard for. Both were financially stable and would live comfortably when they retire in thirty or so years. Nat was a Lieutenant, and likely had a promotion lined up within the next year. And Y/n was working on new music so there was nothing he was too worried about.

After almost three months of dancing around feelings, one night the two were having dinner when the topic was brought up.

“Nat,” Y/n starts with a sigh. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.” Her face falls to a frown, looking away as her heart picks up pace.

“Put up with what exactly?”

“Pretending like I don’t want to hold you in my arms. Like I don’t want to kiss you on the forehead before you fall asleep or tell you how you’re the most important person in my life. Since I was fifteen I’ve loved you and the reason no relationship I’ve had after has worked is because I’m so hung up on you.”

When he contemplates if he made the mistake confessing, he’s suddenly around the kitchen island to bring Nat into a searing kiss when she says, “What if I told you, you don’t have to pretend anymore?”

Their love felt natural. They already had a taste of it as teenagers. Now as adults it was busting like a rocket ship. That deep, immense feeling of love one can’t even begin to describe. Like the person was their air and kept them to the Earth.

Bradley was over the moon when they told. Really he was the first to find out the second they decided to make it official. He was Y/n’s best friend after all and Nat was the closest he had to a sister. Although he and the rockstar had history, Rooster would never let it be an issue and supported the two wholeheartedly. “It’s about damn time!” He yelled over the FaceTime call. “I’ve been waiting for this to happen since the night of the ball!”

It didn’t take long for the world to find out the resident bad boy of rock music was off the market. Hearts broke but many were happy for Y/n. Lots of fans actually thought it was the most adorable thing that he was back with his high school sweetheart after fifteen years of being apart. Natasha became well loved among his supporters and although she didn’t have much of a social media presence, she was always met with positivity. Anytime there was a rude ‘fan’ she would just block them without giving any attention.

“I’m a fucking pilot,” she rolled her eyes at the comment of how she was only with Y/n for money and his status. “They act like I didn’t make something for myself or have a career.”

“You tell ‘em, babe,” Y/n praises from the side, causing Nat to playfully roll her eyes.

2021 and 2022 were met with several milestones. Natasha was promoted to Lieutenant Commander and Y/n released his fifth studio album. Planning to go on tour in the summer of 2022, the couple went on a much needed vacation to celebrate their two year anniversary and relax after constant nonstop work in their lives.

“I could get used to this,” the pilot hummed in content, feeling the warmth of the sun's rays on her skin. The gentle sound of the ocean waves was soothing to her ears. Beside her Y/n laid on his stomach with a book in his hands while music played on the speaker. “Maybe I’ll just stay here while you go off to see the world.”

He snorted, “I’ll be jealous if you do.” Patting her thigh, he closed the book and threw it to the side. Cracking open two bottles of beer, he handed one to Nat, clicking the glass with her, “Happy anniversary, baby.”

“Happy anniversary to you, mister. Thank you for this.”

“Anything for my baby.”

The tour was a success and Natasha even managed to fly out for a few shows. Fans loved it when she did because she’d stand in the crowd to sing and dance with supporters rather than be in the VIP section or just off the stage. It was almost as though Natasha was the star of the concert rather than Y/n. Every show she attended the camera would be put on her at some point so the rockstar could dedicate his song, ‘Girl Almighty’ to her. He had written it just shortly after the two got back together, the woman instantly tearing up after she first heard the final product.

Fans would go crazy during the set, mostly because Y/n would come to where Natasha was at and get on his knees to sing the line, “I’d get down, I’d get down, I’d get down on my knees for you.” Then he’d hold a cup of water in the air, the crowd doing the same with their own drinks, for, “Let’s have another toast for the girl almighty. Let’s pray we stay young, stay made of lightning.”

Oh and let’s not forget about ‘No Control’…..a fan favorite that had Natasha blushing mad red like a tomato when Y/n wrote it. “I cannot believe you wrote that!”

“You love it, don’t lie.”

She really did though. It was a catchy beat and of course it made her heart skip that Y/n’s work was influenced by her and their relationship. It only made her love him more.

“Stained coffee cup. Just a fingertip of lipstick’s not enough. Sweet (ooh), where you lay (ooh). Still a trace of innocence on the pillow case.”

The audience of his shows would be in a frenzy. Nott a single person was not on their feet belting out the lyrics to the chorus. And Natasha was at the center with the most energy.

“Waking up. Beside you, I’m a loaded gun. I can’t contain this anymore. I’m all yours, I’ve got no control. No control! Powerless, and I don’t care, It’s obvious. I just can’t get enough of you. The pedal’s down, my eyes are closed. No control!”

Birthdays and holidays passed and before they knew it they were ringing in 2023. It wasn’t just a celebration of the new year and the release of Y/n’s single ‘Beggin’’, but also what the future would hold for him and Natasha after the rockstar got down on one knee and presented the love of his life with a gorgeous ring, “Baby, you know I’m not one to believe in superstition where fate works in mysterious ways. But when I look at how life took us apart only to bring us together, I can’t help but wonder if it truly exists. Fans like to call us ‘twin flames’ and honestly I think they’re on to something. Natasha, you’re my best friend. My one true love. The person I was meant to be with. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

They announced their engagement just before the Grammy awards. All over the news the story was being covered, fans buzzing with excitement for the couple.

@ badboy_Y/n: My favorites are engaged!!! Natasha’s ring is so beautiful omg I can’t wait to see the wedding!

@ onmykneesforyou: Natasha and Y/n are the reason I believe in love honestly—I’ll ascend to heaven if they ever break up.

@ SelenaGomez✔️: congratulations to my lovely friends @badboyY/n and @IAmPhoenix on their engagement! So so happy for you two!

@ MTV✔️: Stop my parents are getting married. I am screaming right now!

The night of the Grammy’s Y/n was filled with nerves. He usually was when it came to award shows, however this was different because he was up for Record of The Year, Song of The Year, and Album of the Year with a performance with the iconic Red Hot Chili Peppers. Thankfully Natasha was there to help ease it. She hadn’t attended many since their relationship started due to her job, but the ones she did made it a hell of a lot easier for the rockstar. Getting the red carpet and interviews out of the way, the two made their way inside. There they greeted several of Y/n’s friends and took pictures with celebs they admired. Nat had to hold back fangirling a bit when Ariana Grande and The Weekend approached.

“You look amazing!” Ariana gushed, taking in the stunning outfit Nat wore. “It’s so nice to finally meet you—I love your weekly newsletter you do about all the books you’ve read and places you’ve visited. I think it’s so cool what you do.”

Nat struggled to get words out. Here was THE Ariana Grande, world renowned popstar complimenting her and saying what she did was cool.

They took pictures with Ariana hoping to catch her at the after party before it was time for everyone to take their seats. The whole time Y/n held Nat’s hand or placed his on her thigh, only letting go when it was time to clap. Physical touch was his love language and it never failed to make Natasha feel loved and appreciated.

When it came time for Y/n to perform Beggin’ with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Natasha was on her feet and dancing like she was the only one in the room. Hell, even Taylor Swift, Lizzo, and Harry Styles were dancing with her. “That’s my man!!” She yelled over the cheers when Y/n finished, blowing a kiss when they made eye contact. “I love you!!”

About two hours into the show, it finally came time for the big three.

Y/n cheered when Lizzo won Record of the Year….and about shit his pants when his name was called for Song of The Year.

“Wait, what?” He literally said as Nat jumped up from her seat with a scream, pulling him up to embrace. “Did—did he just say—.”

“You baby! You!”

Artists around him were on their feet, Harry Styles whistling against the uproar of the crows. His heart was racing and tears threatened to fall. It felt like a haze for the rockstar, a slight tremor in his hands as he took the award being handed to him. Then when he faced the crowd he was met with a standing ovation. Fucking Beyoncé was applauding with a grin. Y/n was absolutely speechless at the realization.

For the first time in nine nominations, he finally had a Grammy.

“Holy shit,” were his immediate words. “Wow.” People were still screaming so Y/n took the time to connect eyes with Natasha. She was in visible joy, wiping away a stray tear before clasping her hands together in front of her mouth.

“I don’t even know what to say. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years it seems like—a-and I didn’t really think it was possible,” he paused briefly to glance at the trophy. “First I want to thank the Recording Academy for this honor. To everyone at Def Jam Records and those who’ve been with me since the start of my career—I can’t thank you enough. Shoutout to you Alan if you’re watching. You are the reason I’m standing on this stage—thank you for believing in me and to Dale for giving me the opportunity to share my music with the world. To my family back home and my friends, your support through the years is what’s kept me going.” Y/n smiled, thinking about Rooster and the guys, wishing he could see their reaction.

“And lastly, to the woman who’s my partner in crime. My muse. My best friend since ten years old and the love of my life. Natasha,” he connects eyes with her teary face, noticing how a cameraman had moved closer to her. “I love you so much. Thank you for your love and support. For believing in me and being my shoulder to cry on when the days get tough. You are everything a man could ask for and I’m so blessed to have the honor of being your fiancé. I can’t wait to marry you and see where life takes us. This award is for you, baby.”

Blowing a kiss to Nat, who blows one back, Y/n quickly ends with, “Thank you to everyone here tonight and at home who’s listened to my music and played ‘Beggin’’. Much love to you all—thank you thank you!” He finished just in time when the band started to play to signal his time was up. Y/n was met with open arms from Natasha when he returned to his seat, the rockstar lifting her in the air causing her to burst into giggles.

“Congratulations, baby,” she kissed him on the lips, careful not to ruin his lipstick. “I’m so proud of you—you deserve everything, Y/n.”

“Thank you, my love,” he kisses her again, then gives a wink. “Can’t wait for us to celebrate tonight.” He smirks at the blush that takes over her face.

Together they cheered for Harry after he won Album of the Year and after one last performance the show came to an end. Y/n, Harry, and Lizzo all posed for pictures and Y/n was hauled away for more interviews post ceremony. Finally they were set free to the after party, where the two basically stole the spotlight.

Dancing to the previous year’s hits and songs of the nominees, Natasha and Y/n partied like they were young and wild and free. They did shots with Adele, danced with Ariana Grande, sang with Lil Nas X. It was the time of their lives.

When it all ended Y/n escorted Nat to their ride, her right hand in his left while his right carried her heels, the two giggling like children as they ran down the hallway. Before they exited the venue Y/n brought Nat into a passionate kiss, dipping her slightly causing her to laugh. “I love you, Natasha. So much, you know?” His tone was filled with so much love it nearly took her breath away.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

Yeah fate was something not everyone could agree with. But one thing was for sure when it came to Y/n and Natasha. Like the Phoenix, their love rose from the ashes.

……………..

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan @caitsymichelle13 @poppyalice2001 @cutelittlepotatofry @luckyladycreator2 @americaarse @elenavampire21 @back-tooo-black

[1d-trashcan]

“Fuck these creepy crawlies” - Louis, mid chicago 😭

[louisupdates]

FITFWT23: KRAKOW RECAP

Concert number: 49

Date:  10 SEP 2023

Place: Tauron Arena

Capacity: 22,000

Venue: [fan] [barrie pitt] [barrie pitt] [oli crump] [krystle] [benjoseph hubbard] [jdelf] [oli crump]

Livestream [1] [2] [x]

Louis’ IG story [football]

LTHQ Twitter and Instagram

Concert Group Picture [steve durham]

Fashion: VTMNTS t-shirt, Stone Island hoodie

Lithograph

Setlist

Photos: [HQ] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [rainbows] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [polaroids] [x] [meeting fans] [barricade] [x] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [x] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [with fans] [louis the avocado] [how was the game] [with fans] [x] [barricade] [hands] [x] [x] [x] [x] [with fans] [barricade] [x] [smiling gifs] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [x] [x] [HQ] [gifs] [HQ barricade]

Videos: [x]

Speeches: I fucking love your country [x], I’m not up full vocal strength tonight [x]

Outro: Lust For Life, by Iggy Pop

Press: All About Music

Merch: [x], crazy line for merch, which was sold out

Catering menu with vegan options

Misc: Street ad, with fans in Wrocław for the Ukraine vs. UK match (1-1), the LT Team at the match, Louis’ IG likes [9.9.2023], Joshua Halling football photo, Dave Gibson posts about the inclusion of OOMS on NBA 2K24, fan edit

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Olivia Little at MMFA:

Last month, pastor Micah Beckwith secured Indiana’s GOP lieutenant governor nomination in an unexpected upset against gubernatorial candidate Mike Braun’s pick for running mate. Beckwith is a right-wing podcaster, promoter of Christian nationalism, and suburban pastor at an Indianapolis-area church affiliated with the Pentecostal network Assemblies of God. The network describes same-sex marriage as “symptomatic of a broader spiritual disorder that threatens the family, the government, and the church" and discourages "divorce by all lawful means and teaching.” Beckwith has spent years blasting his extreme positions to the world on his podcast Jesus, Sex and Politics, as well as in Facebook livestreams. In this content, Beckwith has claimed that God was behind the January 6 insurrection and Trump’s rise to power, dabbled in numerology, and talked at length about his “prophetic calling."

Beckwith has been trying to immerse himself in the right-wing culture war for years

In 2021, Beckwith bragged on Facebook about giving out hundreds of religious exemptions for the COVID-19 vaccine. In May 2022, Beckwith’s church hosted a Turning Point USA Faith event with founder and right-wing troll Charlie Kirk, which was posted on The Charlie Kirk Show. During the show with Beckwith, Kirk spouted conspiracy theories about the World Economic Forum, fearmongered about “globalists trying to squeeze the American way of life,” and told audience members that “college is a scam for most young people.”  Earlier this year, Beckwith resigned from his local public library board of directors. He spent his time on the board championing a controversial book removal policy that author and Indiana resident John Green later criticized after his book The Fault in Our Stars was removed from the young adult section.

Indiana Lt. Gov nominee Micah Beckwith (R) has been a promoter of Christian Nationalism, along with other far-right conspiracy theories.

[heymeowmao]

Ning-ge's working hard today, as The Legend of Anle AND Be Your Own Light are currently airing! Livestream with cast double-whammy:

Be Your Own Light: https://weibo.com/5456865382/NaigWqaGX

The Legend of Anle: https://weibo.com/5456865382/NajOA4FGx

---------- BYOL Snippets:

LYN: Let me connect with Tao-jie. ... What's her weibo ID? LYN: Ok, I've sent the request. If she rejects me, this'll be fun.

LT: Oh, your hair is so fashionable! LYN: It's because people always say I'm ugly. So I want to make it more fashionable. LT: What's that got to do with it though? LYN: So the "fashionable" part can cover the "ugly" part. LT: Oh, but you know? The more people who say that others are ugly (appearance) are actually ugly (personality) themselves? LYN: How well-spoken, jie.

LT: I heard two of your dramas are airing right now, is that true? LYN: Yes- it so happens two of my dramas are airing at the same time now. One is ours, the other is ALZ. LT: Oh, you're so popular~ LYN: No, I'm not. It's all thanks to you for carrying me. LT: So it turns out that YOU were our light~ LYN: Aiyo~~

-/CBY enters, so his frame goes from half the screen to a square, and we can see only half his face./ LYN: Oh! I AM only half a face. What happened? LT: Right! You're too tall. Maybe you should kneel on the floor? LYN: /adjusts his camera/ It's alright now.

LYN: The three of you are professional hosts in the drama, so you are much more professional than I am. LT: What's with the laugh track? Are you laughing at us?? LYN: No, it's to make the mood. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at myself.

-/starts the scheduled programming, but joke that they throw away the agenda and just chat for the hour instead XD/

QHL: I came to this drama because I heard LT was here, so I came. LYN: So you mean that you came in part because of your relationship with LT, right? QHL: Mainly. LYN: Wow, what a thing to be thankful for. I have to be thankful too, because this is my first time being a male lead and I am able to work with so many amazing actresses. I'm basking in your limelight. QHL: I came mainly because of Tao-jie, but also because I heard you are SUPER popular. LYN: NO~~~ Don't say that. I'm not popular.

LYN: HL-jie carries this sort of inexplicable aura. QHL: WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? LYN: What I mean by that is- I know you are a very kind person, but once you see her you'll think, "I need to respect this senior. I need to watch what I say." LT: She's a Leo. QHL: You don't need to explain- all I heard was "LYN says QHL has an "inexplicable aura"." LYN: Jie, let me tell you something. Before this drama, I knew of you but we had never really crossed paths before. Except the time you were a special guest on a variety show. Before I start filming I was talking to Tian-jie (from Chinese Restaurant) and told her I would be working with you. She told me, "When you go, tell her you know me. I'm really good friends with her!" The first thing I said to you when I got to set was, "Jie, I'm good friends with Tian-jie. She takes good care of me, and told me that she knows you." QHL: I don't remember- could you remind me how I replied? LYN: You just said, "Oh." QHL: I just didn't know what I should say to that. LYN: It's okay though. You were very nice. It helped me to release my nerves and lower my defenses.

LT: While we're waiting for CBY, I want to hear LYN sing (without a backtrack). LYN: Why does is have to be acapella? I have a very sophisticated audio system here. LT: I want to hear how well-versed your fundamentals are. LYN: This isn't a music competition, though. We're just here to promote the drama. Tao-jie, when you have the chance you can go watch the music varieties I've been in (for my fundamentals). We'll skip it this time.

LT: This is my second time working with CBY, but we're also looking for a third time. LYN: Hold on- if you work together a third time, will the ML still be me? LT: You're getting more and more popular. By that time I don't know how many scripts you'll have to choose from. LYN: No- I won't pick any. I'll only pick you. I'll go wherever the two of you are. LT: I'm sure you're being sincere. But I'm also sure we're not the first people you've made that promise to! LYN: That's true. XD

-/QHL would like to work w/ LYN again bc her first day on set was at night but the next day he had someone take a lunch (he prepared?) for her and it looked really expensive (plating). So you can expect good meals when working with him. Also they're both from the North, so they can chat it up./

-/LT remembers her first time working w/ LYN was on the day they were shooting the promo posters. She came in to find tasty snacks on the table, and found that he prepared them for her. As they got into the shoot, found they worked well together. But she felt bad that he had to spread his legs so far apart to accommodate the height difference./

LT: Because of you, this drama turned into a comedy. LYN: Because I'm a joke?! LT: /no, no, no, no/

---------- ALZ: (GJ and Reba's audio is really low >.<)

LYN: Is there an echo? Can you hear it? No? Then why do I?? C: You hear an echo because you haven't cleared out your earwax. LYN: You must be crazy.

-/GJ and DD enter the stream/ LYN: /awkwardly/ Long time no see.

GJ: Do you know why my internet is lagging so much? Because I am sitting in the midst of a raging typhoon. LYN: Oh... be careful. GL: /goes to open the curtains to show us/ LYN: No, it's okay. You don't need to show us! Come back, come back!!

D: I really did my best to make my face look smaller when I was in the same frame with you. LYN: Stop messing around. Your face is the smallest here. Mine is the biggest. When the drama started airing I messaged GJ. I asked him why he never told me to lose some weight when we were filming. Tell everyone how you replied to me. GJ: It was our first time working together and I was afraid if I said something that would be the end our relationship. LYN: Alright. But next time if we get the chance to work together again and I'm looking a little chubby- you have to tell me that I'm out of control.

! luo mingxi grabbing the fish was improvised !

[kaminokilljoy]

OMGGG thank you for the tag @nedpilots!!! I am so normal about twenty one pilots definitely not going feral right now

7 + 1 twenty one pilots ask:

1. when/how did you discover them? + what was the first song you listened to?

I think I had known about them for a while just because they are so famous but I started really listening to them in like late 2021 (december?) from a 2010s music YouTube playlist (I hadn't listened to basically any music for a few years and I was trying to rediscover my music taste, slowly turned out to be way different than it was a few years ago) and slowly from there I kind of just started listening to more and more, it was originally a guilty habit but at some point I realized that I just love their music too much to pretend I didn't

and my first song was Stressed Out

2. have you been on concert(s)?

ohhh my god I really wanted to go to a concert in the scaled and icy tour but i felt like there was no way for me to so i haven't gone yet :( i really wanna go sometime in the future..

3. do you remember where you were when trench dropped (if you were a fan by then)?

I didn't really listen to them when Trench dropped

4. favourite thing about the clique?

Really creative!! Really intelligent when analyzing lore, the smallest clue/hint etc, amazing art, I saw a lot of really nice writing inspired by lyrics during Cliquetober

5. any memorable/funny/interesting quote (from interviews/bts footage/…) you especially like?

Slushieguys channel (I love that video with the ridiculous skits it always makes me laugh or grin)

banana prank

Excuse me couldyou please leave

6. what would you want to ask/tell them if you got the chance?

I think I really would first just want to tell them how much I love their music 😭 it has so many layers, its so well put together, so much meaning, hits so hard, literally makes me feel like im ascending to heaven

7. which tattoo would you like to know the meaning of (if you do)?

tyler's •|i|• Ø i+! ]

^ prev yeah same

which album cover do you like best? (from dasloddl)

uh oh its so hard for me to pick favorites on anything... umm.. I love the self titled and vessel covers especially bcs of their symbolism

I’d love to hear about some memorable moment you had because of this band, it can be anything, whatever you’re comfortable sharing &lt;3 (from pantaloonwarrior)

Realizing a friend of a friend loves their music too and getting to talk about it with them!!! :]]]]]] I will tag them in this post

Also I guess this only vaguely relates but twenty one pilots was really my gateway into the music I currently listen to, somehow went from a random song on a hit 2010s playlist to like. whatever on earth I listen to now and I have them to thank for that

what do you think the genre/vibe of the next album is going to be? (from silverlininghills)

Based on the B&W pictures I have to say. hmm... like kind of grunge-y heavy I guess, but they aren't really known for being predictable are they haha

+1 for@kaminokilljoy : if the boys released a mashup of 2+ of their songs (think sai livestream version songs), which songs would you want to see mixed together?

OMG uhh... hm... How do you think Jumpsuit and Ode to Sleep would sound together?? Maybe thats a horrible choice but that's what came to mind,,, let me know ur thoughts!! Which song do you want to see?

Thank you so much again for the tag!! tagging @astronomicalunit32 @trjslimeball @mymy4444 @dmmyring(so sorry to bother you 😭😭 ,,, but if you want to answer id love to hear ur thoughts) and anybody else who listens :)