#lupin iii discworld au

[morporkian-cryptid]

Okay! For the 24.7 people potentially interested, I give you:

✨Lupin III Discworld AU✨

Aka Lupin and Lipwig give Vimes an aneurysm ! :D

For those lacking context: Discworld is a fantasy universe composed of a flat circular world carried through space on the back of four elephants and a turtle. It's got your typical wizards, dwarves, trolls etc, but in a trope-subversive way. And it's fucking awesome 💖

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Character introductions!

Lupin: Agatean* with Quirmian* ancestry. He moved to Ankh-Morpork in search of success and adventure and more people to rob; and also to follow Fujiko. He's an illegal thief (not registered with the Thieve's Guild). His favourite hobby (besides stealing) is messing with the Guild and with the Watch (aka the police). Commander Vimes is secretly rooting for him, because he dislikes the Guild slightly more than he dislikes Lupin. He's also friends with Moist Von Lipwig (former conman, current postmaster; more about this in another post).

*Agatean Empire: equivalent of China (closest DW culture to Japan). Quirm: equivalent of France with a bit of Italy.

Fujiko: Agatean. She fled the Empire to escape Goemon after stealing his sword. Once in Ankh-Morpork, she joined the Thieves’ Guild; but everyone confuses her for a seamstress* because her technique usually involves seduction. She tried it on Vetinari once. It failed spectacularly.

*Seamstresses: another word for ladies of negotiable affection. Their guild is one of the oldest and most respected in Ankh-Morpork.

Jigen: Ankh-Morporkian, son of Agatean immigrants, grew up as a street urchin in the Shades (the most crime-ridden neighborhood of the notoriously crime-ridden Ankh-Morpork). He joined the Assassin's Guild as a self-taught sharp-shooter, then quit after joining Lupin (whom he had been contracted to assassinate). He's also a werewolf, although no one knows how that's possible since he doesn't have any Überwaldian ancestry.

(see @benevolenterrancy's amazing art of Jigen and Angua)

Goemon: Agatean, moved to Ankh-Morpork in pursuit of Fujiko who had stolen his sword. He later meets Lupin and Jigen, and decides to stick with them. He refuses to join the Thieve's Guilds, which he considers an affront to the noble art of thievery.

Zenigata: Agatean, was sent abroad by the Empire's police force in pursuit of Lupin. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch agreed to lend him resources after Lupin started causing havoc. Vimes simultaneously dislikes him and admires his dedication.

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Side characters:

Zantetsuken: a sentient talking sword whose personality is the embodiment of Bushido. It is extremely annoying. It was probably Goemon's only friend back in the Agatean Empire.

Yata: Agatean, Zenigata's assistant, the only resource the Empire allowed him to bring along. He quickly bonds with Rufus Drumknott, the Patrician's Head Secretary, through their common admiration for their bosses.

The Cagliostro family: rulers of a small county in Überwald* in the foothills of the Ramtop moutains. Half of them (the Count's branch) are vampires, the other half (Clarisse's branch) are humans.

*Überwald: equivalent of Transylvania

Ami Enan: not sure about her place of origin,I just know it's somewhere in the Sto Plains. She's a genius clacks operator, and part of the GNU (a group of clacks hackers).

Rebecca Rosselini: Quirmian noble. Might be related to Leonardo Da Quirm.

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I'll make another post with more details and headcanons, and PLEASE do send me your own ideas!!

EDIT: More headcanons here and here!

[pourablecat]

Moist and Adora Belle in a Fiat 500, #2

("Please, Mr Lipwig, this is a public street," said Lord Vetinari. "By no means crash your car on my behalf.")

[morporkian-cryptid]

✨Lupin III Discworld AU✨

What happens when you drop Earth's greatest thief in a world with werewolves, a Thieve's Guild, a postmaster who's a former conman, and Commander Sam Vimes? Chaos. Chaos is what happens.

Characters introductions here!

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Headcanons and random ideas!

Lupin III and Moist Von Lipwig

They get along like a house on fire, both figuratively and literally. They're both adrenaline junkies and Lipwig (pronounced Lip-vig) hasn't completely shed his kleptomaniac tendencies. Lupin regularly attemps to rob the Post Office, the Royal Bank and the Royal Mint (all under Lipwig's responsibility). One of the reasons Lord Vetinari tolerates Lupin's presence in Ankh-Morpork is because he gives Lipwig enrichment.

They also sometimes challenge each other to thieving competitions. One of the contests’ goal was to steal Vetinari’s manuscript, The Servant. Fujiko won. She wasn’t even in the race.

When they're not busy competing, Lupin and Lipwig are actually great friends. Lipwig infected Lupin with his pencil-stealing tendencies, to Yata's great despair as he finds his pencils disappearing every time Lupin is brought to Pseudopolis Yard.

Fujiko ended up befriending Adora-Belle Dearheart (Lipwig's rather explosive wife), they get together to lovingly trash-talk their respective S/O. Completely unrelatedly, Fujiko acquired a horse golem (which Adora-Belle swears she didn't give to her).

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Jigen, sharpshooting, and Archchancellor Ridcully

Jigen is a self-taught sharpshooter, proficient in anything from a slingshot to the infamous gonne (DW's first and only firearm, with a regretful tendency to possess its user and send them into a murderous rage). Jigen religiously reads every issue of Bow and Ammo, and knows by heart the entire crossbow catalogue of Burleigh & Stronginthearm.

Jigen is crossbow-hunting-buddies with Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully of the Unseen University. They bonded over their love of shooting anything that moves, and Mustrum brok- hum hum, circumvented the University's rules to teach a non-wizard a spell. Jigen can now shoot fireballs, to Lupin's endless delight and the Watch's horror. At Jigen's demand, Mustrum also enchanted the Gang's bright-ass yellow carriage to make it go supernaturally fast, in exchange for the opportunity to take a ride in it.

The Gang also had the misfortune of stealing the aforementioned gonne (we're going to ignore that there's no canonical window allowing this to happen). Jigen had heard of it, and Lupin decided to steal it as a gift for his partner. The second he got his hands on the gonne, his moral compass evaporated. He would have even shot his friends, if Jigen hadn't taken the gonne from him... and immediately gotten possessed himself. In the end, Goemon managed to take the gonne from them. He was completely unaffected, a phenomenon he later explained as "being confident in the blade's superiority to filthy morporkian artifacts".

(The gonne doesn't so much "possess" people as by-pass their moral restraints to unearth whatever urges for violence, power and destruction they have. Which I think would be a very interesting thing to happen to Lupin.)

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Lupin and dragons

The Gang owns a swamp dragon (very small and pathetic creatures with a tendency to explode at the slightest inconvenience). Lupin uses it to melt safes open, and to light his and Jigen's cigarettes.

Aside from this blatant mis-use of an endangered creature, the dragon is actually very well treated, and in time has become a sort of mascot of the Gang. His name is Sir Arson Burp-A-Lot Lupin.

Lupin (the human) is a regular at the Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons, and has a false identity entirely dedicated to visiting the Sanctuary. He managed to befriend Lady Sybil Ramkin, owner of the Sanctuary and wife of Commander Vimes of the City Watch. Goemon disapproves of the whole situation, and Jigen finds it hilarious, regularly joking that Lupin is playing with fire.

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The Gang and lycanthropy

It is common knowledge that Lupin's Gang includes a werewolf. Lupin thinks that everyone thinks he is the werewolf (because he's posh and has a wolf-related name), but actually everyone knows it's Jigen. It's a bit baffling as there are no werewolves in the Agatean Empire, and Jigen has no known Überwaldian ancestors.

Thanks to Jigen's lycanthropy, the Gang is fully aware that the Watch's resident werewolf is Angua Von Überwald (and not Nobby Nobbs as is the common belief). They unfortunately can't use scent bombs to ward her off as it would hurt Jigen, but following these stinky thieves is just as bad for her nose. They smell like a tobacco factory that has caught on fire.

It took a lot of time for Jigen to tell Lupin about his "condition", and Lupin (who easily put two and two together after seeing Jigen leave to gods-know-where every full moon and growl when he's angry) didn't press him and waited for him to open up about it. Growing up, Jigen had always seen his lycanthropy as monstrous, but Lupin's delight at having 1) a big fluffy cuddlable boyfriend and 2) someone who can smell the police coming, eventually made Jigen feel more comfortable with his gift. Lupin and Goemon both adore Jigen's wolf form (although Goemon would rather die than admit it out loud). Jigen almost bit off Fujiko's hand the only time she tried to pet him.

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More miscellaneous headcanons here!

If you have ideas, headcanons, or even just vague vibes for this AU, please do reblog, comment or send me an ask!

[morporkian-cryptid]

✨Lupin III Discworld AU✨

Miscellaneous headcanons

Aka stuff that didn't fit in the other posts

If you have ideas, headcanons, or even just vague vibes, please do reblog or send me an ask!

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Rincewind is terrified of Zenigata. He once got arrested because he was startled by Zeni yelling LUPAAAAAAAAAN! and started running for the hills, making Zenigata believe he was Lupin in disguise.

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Detective Yata befriended Head Secretary Drumknott after his and Zenigata's first visit to the Palace. They competitively compare their respective bosses, share filing tips, and commiserate about pencil theft (a quirk that Lupin has unfortunately copied from Lipwig). Drumknott accidentally called Vetinari "Sempai" once.

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Zenigata tried to arrest the Luggage once, before the Watch explained to him why he shouldn't (apparently the Luggage eating his hat wasn't enough to deter him).

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Lupin made Jigen one of those wristwatches that tell the phases of the moon (like the one Carrot made for Angua).

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Lupin had a phase where he obsessively stole famous dwarf breads, prompting Carrot to ask to be assigned to the Lupin case with Zenigata.

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The Gang adapting to the moon cycles and Jigen's transformations. Yeah. (I have a lot of feelings about werewolf!Jigen if you couldn't tell already)

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The Thieves’ Guild and the Watch are competing to catch the Gang, but secretly Vimes is rooting for the Gang, because he dislikes Lupin only slightly less than he dislikes the Guild. Lupin knows at least a dozen different ways to escape from the Tanty (and has a hefty stock of Hope Spoons as a result). Vetinari probably planned to reassign him into public service, but has long since given up on the idea, and now only tolerates him as Enrichment for Lipwig.

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For Jigen's birthday, every year Lupin steals a public figure's hat. Jigen returned Mustrum's hat (a custom wizard hat with drawers, a crossbow and an alcohol flask in it) the next day. The theft of Lipwig's golden winged postman cap lead to Adora-Belle claiming she didn't recognize him. Lupin's next target is Srgt. Detritus' ventilated helmet. (He hasn't tried to steal Vetinari's skullcap yet, probably because he retains a smidge of survival instinct.)

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For Goemon's birthday Lupin raids the Assassin's Guild's museum of historical weapons, and pilfers anything that has a blade.

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Jigen's greatest dream is to shoot Detritus' Piecemaker.

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The Gang visits Lancre in an expedition to steal... I don't know what. There isn't much to steal in Lancre. They meet the local coven and Nanny Ogg starts hitting on Lupin. (I'm still unsure whether Lupin reciprocates, that would honestly be hilarious).

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Zenigata regularly enlists Angua's help to track down the Gang. He's one of the rare outsiders to the Watch who's allowed to know that she's a werewolf. Angua has a personal rivalry with Jigen, who's constantly teasing her when they meet in human form.

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Jigen and Bengo Macarona are exes. (Actually, would it be funnier is Bengo is Jigen's or Lupin's ex? He's Quirmian so it would make sense that he's met Lupin, but also he's a soccer player and he is JACKED.)

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Goemon's Zantetsuken is a talking sword (like Kr!ng in The Color of Magic). Its personality is the living embodiment of Bushido, and it is extremely annoying. Fujiko stole it and ran from Agatea thinking she could make a fortune from it, but it kept insulting all her potential buyers. She was about to throw it in the Ankh when Goemon finally caught up with her. The Gang have threatened to throw it out the window countless times during long carriage rides. It's part of the reason why Goemon typically sits on the roof, and why Fujiko only rides on her horse golem and not in the carriage.

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Again, if you have ideas, headcanons, or even just vague vibes for this AU, please do reblog or send me an ask!

[morporkian-cryptid]

Wait wait wait, here's a question of the ages for me: Which would win in a showdown, Zantetsuken or Carrot's sword? On one hand Carrot's sword is nearly as real as you could get and Zantetsuken is too fantastical, but on the other hand, Sir Pterry also has a meteorite sword...

That's a good question... Carrot's sword isn't magical at all, doesn't have any supernatural property, aside from being Obviously A King's Sword. But that's kind of a supernatural property in and of itself: what with Narrativium being like a law of physic, I don't think Carrot's sword could break, ever (unless maybe he loses his cosmic status as rightful heir for whatever honor-related reason, like... a corruption arc, maybe?)

Point is, think Carrot's sword might be one of the things the Zantetsuken can't cut. So it would come down to the swordsmen's skills and will, not the swords themselves.

[morporkian-cryptid]

✨Lupin III Discworld AU✨

The Gang gets possessed by a half-sentient firearm

i am not awake enough to words but EEEEEE :D also i doubt i could write anything on the subject but jigen vs the gonne will be bouncing around my head for days now because i feel like it would interact with his personality really specifically and i can't quite nail down how (although goemon being like "i wasn't going to get possessed by a worthless object, zantetsuken is better kthxbai" is also hilarious)

(from @maryellencarter )

That would be a very interesting situation indeed.

If I remember correctly, the way the gonne works is that it bypasses people's moral restraints and pushes them to violent extremes by tapping into whatever personal end that violence might serve (self-righteousness/thirst for power for D'Eath, desire for justice for Vimes...)

Jigen is a violent man by himself already, but... not for violence's sake, or for power. I feel like the only vice the gonne could unearth from him might be survival instinct and a desire to protect others. That would definitely lead to bloodshed though, with the gonne in his hands it would probably mean killing anyone and anything that could pose a threat to Lupin.

Personally, I'm very interested in what kind of person Lupin would become with that sort of power. >:)

[morporkian-cryptid]

Fic author interview! Thank you @vampirenaomi for the tag! I'm a bit late to the party, sorry.

Tagging @crimetimesteadicam, @dandunn and @carriagelamp!

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 48 works there, and there's a few (including my very first long fic and very first NaNoWriMo novel) that are only on Fanfiction.net.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

562,503 words total. To be honest, considering the amount of long fics I've written, I'm a little surprised it isn't higher, but also I'm bad at estimation.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Treasures of time - JigLup one-shot, emotional angst with a happy ending (221 kudos)

Up in the mountains - JiGoe getting together (197 kudos)

In the middle Part 2 - Polygang getting together (150 kudos)

We are beginning - Goemon POV Polygang fluff drabble (140 kudos)

How to make a gunman snap - JigLup not-quite-porn-without-a-plot one-shot (133 kudos)

It's mostly one-shots and old-ish long fics, which I am a bit surprised about - but then again, they have had more time to collect kudos.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Unless a comment is just two words and I don't know what to answer, I always reply, at least to say thank you.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty ending. The closest to an angsty ending would be Adieu (a Netflix Lupin alternate ending one-shot).

EDIT I forgot about my entire MorMor period skjlsjkldjkl so yeah my angstiest fic is Bang Bang, a MorMor post-Reichenbach one-shot based on the song by Nancy Sinatra.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They all end well, so I can't really designate a specific one.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I've written I think one crossover ever, a Discworld/Harry Potter fic way back in the day. I'm not gonna link it because it was bad, but it's on my AO3 if you're interested and you can read French.

However I have a BUNCH of AUs that I haven't written up into fics: Lupin III/Discworld, Lupin III/Ewilan's Quest, and an ooooooold MorMor (or Mor4)/X-Men AU that I did write a couple of unpublished one-shots for.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't, thankfully!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written one smut scene several years ago, it was very difficult and awkward to do, but in retrospect I think the result was alright. I'm planning to try again. The past try and the upcoming one are both scenes in longer plotty fics, I've never written PWPs.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've translated my own fics (usually from French to English)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't; but I did co-write half of an original novel with my best friend, and the possibility of finishing it isn't off the table.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

LUPIN III POLYGANG. And all variations thereof.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started a Lupin III Polygang soulmate AU fic, I really want to carry on with it because I love that specific soulmate concept, but I don't really have a plan for what's going to happen in it; and wouldn't you know it, it's waaaayy more difficult to write a soulmate AU fic for five people than for two.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue and banter; when I get in the right frame of mind, it practically writes itself. I'm pretty good at writing pacing in action scenes I think.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to write looooooong paragraphs about character's feelings that kind of get out of hand.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love doing it, and including foreign words, but I have to restrain myself otherwise my fics would be unreadable.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Discworld. I discovered fanfiction through a Discworld forum. Although to be honest, I think the first thing I ever wrote that qualified as fanfic was the begining and vague plot outline of a self-insert isekai next-gen story in the universe of Ewilan's Quest, my childhood favourite book series. Ewilan's Quest was a huge and formative part of my childhood, and the reason I wanted to become a writer as a kid. And Discworld was my favourite novel series after that, and it solidified my desire to write stories. Both series are still very dear to me; so it's unsurprising, and very fitting, that my introduction to fanfic and writing was these two fandoms.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd like to write a Zenigen fic, if I ever find a precise idea for it.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

That tends to change a lot. Lately, it would be Become, a one-shot about Lupin's journey of finding out he's trans after meeting Jigen; and Hanafuda, my ongoing WIP, a JiGoe florist/tattooist AU where Jigen and Goemon both quit crime before they met and are trying to juggle between their new normal lives, their dark pasts, and what they really want out of life... and their pesky little feelings for each other.

[morporkian-cryptid]

Today in "Elliott's Niche AF AUs": one (1) person asked me about this, sooooo...

Lupin III Discworld AU crossover headcanon pile thingy!!!

For those who don't know: Discworld is a flat world held on the back of four giant elephants on top of a giant turtle, floating through space. That world has magic, as well as trolls, dwarves, goblins etc... but in a way that's meant to subvert typical fantasy tropes.

Ankh-Morpork, the biggest city on the Disc, is a hotbed of crime, innovations, and innovations in crime. It is run by a council of guilds, and by a Patrician (a lifelong tyrant; he's elected by the guilds but he has the final say in everything). Notorious for having an Assassins', Thieves', Beggars', and Seamstresses' (sex workers) Guilds. Also notorious for its Watch (the police), which is actually surprisingly good at solving crimes. It's also the biggest immigration destination on the Disc.

Character backstories/situations:

Lupin : half-quirmian-half-agatean (Quirm being the DW equivalent of France), grew up in the Agatean Empire (DW equivalent of China/East Asia). He moved to Ankh-Morpork to follow Fujiko, and/or to escape Zenigata. He’s an illegal thief (meaning he's not registered with the Thieves' Guild), and his favourite hobby (besides just stealing in general) is screwing with the Guild. Commander Vimes, the head of the Watch, is supposed to catch him (or at least help Zenigata catch him), but he's secretly rooting for him because he dislikes the Guild slightly more than he dislikes Lupin.

Jigen : son of a couple of Agatean immigrants in Ankh-Morpork, grew up as a street urchin in the Shades (the most crime-ridden neighborhood of the notoriously crime-ridden Ankh-Morpork). He joined the Assassins’ Guild later in his life as a (mostly self-taught) sharpshooter, with a talent that outshone that of the Guild's best students. He later quit the Guild after he met Lupin (possibly had a contract to kill Lupin, and decided “screw this I’m going with him”). He can use any kind of shooting weapons, but favors crossbows. He’s tried stealing and using the gonne (DW's first and only firearm); it didn't go well. He somehow managed to learn one single spell from the wizards, the fireball, by becoming pals with Arcchancelor Ridcully (wizard, head of the Unseen University, and famous for his unfortunate passion for crossbow shooting).

Goemon : agatean immigrant/fugitive, master swordsman. He left Agatea because Fujiko stole his Zantetsuken and fled to Ankh-Morpork, so Goemon had to follow her to retrieve his sword. He then met Lupin and Jigen and decided to stick around. The Zantetsuken is a talking sword, and its personality is basically the embodiment of Bushido. It's extremely annoying (like all talking swords), but Goemon loves it. (it was probably his only friend back in Agatea)

Fujiko : agatean immigrant/fugitive. Ran away from the Agatean Empire chased by Goemon. She joined the Thieves’ Guild, but everyone confuses her for a seamstress because her technique usually involves seduction. She tried it on Vetinari once. It failed spectacularly.

Zenigata : agatean immigrant, part of the Empire’s police force, who came to Ankh-Morpork chasing Lupin. He only brought his assistant Yata with him, and has to cooperate with the Watch to have resources to catch Lupin. Vimes doesn’t particularly like him, but he’s good at his work so he can’t say anything (they're both too stubborn to get along).

Bonus:

Yata: Zenigata’s assistant, came to Ankh-Morpork with him, rapidly became great friends with Rufus Drumknott (the Head Secretary of the Patrician, Lord Vetinari). He has a bad influence on Drumknott. He also befriended Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, but then again Carrot befriends everyone.

Ami: She's a clacks operator. Clacks are basically the DW equivalent of telegraph. There's a group of clacks hackers called the GNU, so she might have joined them.

Albert: He's part of the Patrician's Dark Clerks (they're the secret services of Ankh-Morpork)

Rebecca: She's from Quirm. That’s all I have about her for now. (Quirm's the equivalent of France, but in the french translation it was made into an equivalent of Italy)

Random-Ass Headcanons

Lupin gets along like a house on fire with Moist von Lipwig (former conman and current postmaster, notorious adrenaline junkie), both figuratively and literally. Lupin and Lipwig sometimes team up on heists and rely on each other’s help, when they’re not busy competing against each other because Lupin keeps daring Lipwig to thieving competitions.

One of the contests’ goal is to steal Vetinari’s manuscript, The Servant. Fujiko wins. She wasn’t even in the race.

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Fujiko quickly became friends with Adora-Belle Dearheart (Moist von Lipwig's rather explosive girlfriend), they get together every now and then to trash-talk their respective boyfriends.

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For some reason everyone thinks Lupin is a werewolf. (it’s actually Jigen)

(maybe. I haven't yet decided whether or not he is. That would be a very good source of angst, considering what most werewolves are like, and also a very good source of domestic fluff if the whole gang has to adapt to the moon cycle and Jigen's transformations. Idk. Might be fun.)

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Fujiko owns a horse golem (a gift from Adora-Belle or something she stole, we may never know). The Gang also owns a carriage, modified with a spell so it will drive faster, and they drive it completely carelessly. It has been destroyed and rebuilt countless times. (actually a bunch of spells, Lupin probably found a way to blackmail Ridcully so he could mod the shit out of his carriage. Or they rely on Jigen’s friendship with Ridcully)

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Lupin uses swamp dragons as firearms (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Jigen: You stole a dragon??? Lupin: I didn’t steal him! He’s his own person and can make decisions himself! Dragon: I wanna steal). He has an alias and disguise entirely dedicated to visiting the Sunshine Sanctuary For Sick Dragons, and somehow became friends with Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes (Commander Vimes' wife, and the greatest expert on swamp dragons in the city, probably on the Disc). Vimes doesn't know about it, and Lupin finds the whole situation hilarious. He constantly makes jokes about how he’s playing with fire.

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The Thieves’ Guild and the Watch are competing to catch the Gang, but secretly Vimes is rooting for the Gang (the Guild just hates them). That said, Vimes also hates Lupin (only slightly less than he dislikes the Guild), because he's always a little shit whenever he gets put in jail, and then he immediately breaks out.

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Rincewind (famously bad wizard with a shit luck and a tendency to run from problems) once got arrested by Zenigata, because he got startled by him yelling LUPAAAAAAAAAN! and started running for the hills, making Zenigata believe he was Lupin in disguise. Rincewind is terrified of Zenigata.

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Zenigata is actively trying to stop the Thieves' Guild from catching Lupin and Co, both because he wants to catch them himself, and because he knows what the Guild does to illegal thieves and he doesn’t want it to happen to Lupin.

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Lupin stole Ridcully’s hat (custom wizard hat with a bunch of pockets, drawers, a crossbow, and a tiny flask of alcohol) as a gift for Jigen’s birthday. He also stole Lipwig’s hat (golden cap with dove wings), after which Adora claimed she didn’t recognize Moist (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Moist: C’mon babe, it’s me, your boyfriend! Adora, knowing full well who he is: I have never met this man in my entire life). He also raided the Assassins' Guild's armory/museum to get a birthday gift for Goemon.

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About Jigen and the gonne (spoilers for Men at Arms) : basically, the gonne being such a dangerous and destructive weapon compared to crossbows, it has a nigh-magical attraction on people, and awakens and strengthens whatever lust for power, vengeance, blood etc they have. It basically controls its user and feeds on their convictions, addictions, wants, etc. The only person known to have resisted it is Vimes (because he's a stubborn mofo with a sense of morals you could bend iron on), and even he came damn near to losing his mind. (And Carrot, because... he's Carrot.)

Assuming the gonne didn't get destroyed in this AU: after they steal it, Lupin tries to use it, gets completely possessed/cursed (again) and accidentally tries to murder his friends (again), prompting Jigen to take it from him. Jigen then gets possessed as well, and they start fighting for the gonne, until Goemon just walks in, takes it out of their hands and takes it away. Goemon's completely unaffected by the gonne because 1) of his ascetic training and 2) "it is a filthy morporkian artifact and cannot compare to the noble art of the sword."

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Zenigata often teams up with Angua (resident werewolf of the Watch), they get along very well. The Gang is very easy to track, they smell like a tobacco factory that has caught on fire.

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Yata and Drumknott (Patrician's head secretary, and confidante, sort of) get together after office hours, and argue about whose boss is the best (because as we all know they both have a crush on respective bosses). One day Drumknott accidentally calls Vetinari “Sempai” after he heard Yata call Zenigata that all the time.

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Lupin follows Lipwig’s example and steals all of Yata’s pencils every time he visits the Pseudopolis Yard (the Watch's HQ). Drumknott is fuming when Yata tells him about it.

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Leonardo Da Quirm is butt-naked, because Part 4.

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Something with vampires, probably.

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tagging @carriagelamp and @mad-whoman-with-a-book00 because I know you may be potentially interested in this AU ^^

[morporkian-cryptid]

Re- Lupin III Discworld AU

Thank you all for the feedback!!

#oh gods Lupin AND Moist von Lipwig?? How is the city still standing? #Lupin tries to steal from the Witches. it Doesn't Go Well at all #jigen's response is 'that's what you get for going up against Weatherwax!' #that's her name right? it's been so long since i've read the books #Does this mean Cagliostro is some small offshoot of Uberwald? The Count is a vampire don't @ me #i should reread the discworld books

(via @saphura)

The only reason Ankh-Morpork is still standing is because Lupin has no interest in destroying his main source of income, and Lipwig is trying not to piss off Vimes and Vetinari too much.

Lupin vs Granny Weatherwax is something I would pay good money to see. What would he even try to steal from her, though?

ÜBERWALDIAN VAMPIRE COUNT CAGLIOSTRO YESSSSSS!!! Would that make Clarisse also a vampire (Überwald League of Temperance probably), or is she from the human branch of the family?

this. this is a magical gift i love everything about it though listen im not sure theyd have to blackmail ridcully into magicking the carriage like im pretty sure promising to let ridcully take a spin in a BRIGHT YELLOW FUCK-YOU-FAST SPORTS CARRIAGE is enough incentive for him to do it for a laugh they go careening over the hills - crossbows out - on one absolutely batshit insane hunting trip and ridcully is pleased as punch as for lupin and moist interacting god thatd be amazing and goemon having a really obnoxious talking sword that he actually likes is hilarious im sure thats fun to share a (fiat) carriage with aaaaaaah this really is just fantastic thank you for sharing discworld lupin

(via @carriagelamp )

You are entirely right, Ridcully would give his right arm for the opportunity to mod the shit out of Lupin's BRIGHT-ASS YELLOW CARRIAGE (I didn't think about it being yellow, but it's perfect)

Jigen: So, my friend has this funky carriage he needs to repair, and- Ridcully, already taking out his staff with a knob on the end: SAY NO MORE.

(also, I just realized Lupin would know al the lyrics to "The Wizard's staff has a knob on its head", "The Hedgehog Song", etc, and he'd be fucking insufferable when he's drunk. When he's sober too.) (he'd get along awfully well with Nanny Ogg, to Granny Weatherwax and Magrat's gret despair) (also Jigen and Nanny drinking contest) (Nanny flirts with Lupin and nobody knows how to react to that, least of all Lupin) (until he just goes "fuck it, might as well flirt back with the cheery eighty-year-old witch"

Sentient!Zantetsuken doing constant commentary about "filthy morporkian technology". Jigen fucking despises it. Lupin only tolorates it because it pisses Jigen off. Fujiko probably got the horse golem only so she could escape the carriage rides with the sword.

///

Also I have more to add about werewolf Jigen (not much, but):

Imagine Angua passing him in the streets and doing a double take because 1) there aren't any other werewolves than her in the city and 2) this guy isn't even überwaldian??? are there werewolves in Agatea??? What the fuck?????

Lupin would def give Jigen one of those custom watches that tells the phases of the moon, like Carrot gave to Angua. Completely useless of course because Jigen can feel his fucking hair growing out when the full moon is coming, but it's still a thoughtful gift.

I was gonna say Goemon probably kept some silver around in the beginning, but then again, no werewolves in the Agatean Empire, so how would he know about silver.

Also, think of the angst and hurt/comfort potential of Jigen having always seen himself as a monster and a danger to other, but now having companions who don't see him as such, support him and value his gift. (having a guy on the crew who can literally smell the cops coming would be incredibly useful. Unfortunately they can't use smell bomb against Angua because that would hurt Jigen as well.

I'm imagining Jigen being really secretive about his "problem" and refusing to let anyone know about it, until the moment when he has to tell Lupin because he can't leave in the middle of a heist prep and he's worried he'll hurt his friends, so he gives him all the instructions on "how to deal with a feral wolf in the middle of the fucking city". Then the full moon comes, and Lupin's reaction upon seeing Jigen in wolf form is "OMG PUPPY!!!" and to immediately cuddle him. Jigen is too flabbergasted to even think of hurting him.

[morporkian-cryptid]

Sword!goemon just poofs his ghost form when he doesn't want to deal with stuff. The gang had to grab him and run multiple times when he thought this nonsense was too much

Local man seen arguing and pleading with a empty seat with a sword lying on it in a restaurant after he upset his partner during dinner

Jkdjfklsk this is PERFECT

This is SO GOEMON

Also I LOVE the visual image of Lupin or Jigen just fucking grabbing Goemon in sword form and running away

Random sword enthusiast: That is such an incredible antique!! I've never seen such a beautiful sword!! How much would you sell it for? Lupin, completely outraged: Sir, that is my BOYFRIEND!

Is Goemon's corporeal form solid, or is it like smoke or something? (in other words: can Lupin tackle-hug him?)

If he is the Zantetsuken, then Goemon Ishikawa isn't actually his (birth) name; where did he get that name? Did he chooseit himself? Is he named after the historical/mythical Goemon Ishikawa? Was the OG Goemon the first wielder of the sword?

If Goemon is a sentient sword and Lupin is a vampire, what are Jigen and Fujiko?

[morporkian-cryptid]

💕 for all of them. Go nuts

tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them! 

Dan, you don’t know what you’ve started. -cracks knucles-

Warning, long post is long.

Lupin III: At first my fave was Jigen. I clearly have a type and that type is dark and mysterious, preferably badass warrior, with a lot of snark. Also I had been obsessed with Sebastian Moran for the past years and they clearly share a lot of traits. Then for some unknown reason I became obsessed with the samurai, only the gods know why. On top of being a badass warrior and having a lot of really cool fight scenes (HIS DUO WITH JIGEN IN PART 5 OMFG), he’s also FRIGGIN ADORABLE. The dude starts blushing like a flustered teenager whenever a girl comes near him and it’s hilarious. Though to be honest, Goemon is probably one of the character who change the most depending on the season and the movie. Originally he was a fucking chad, and in Part 2 he has some pretty cool one-liners, and he’s easily one of the funniest characters of that season. And his way of speaking like he’s a goddamn grammar dictionary is hilarious. He’s just... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY? Also my love for Goemon kinda sent me down a rabbit hole of trying to find out as much as I can about traditional Japanese customs in general and samurai culture in particular, and I’ve learned a lot of very interesting things! If you ever have questions about kamons aka family crests just ask me.

Also I have a huge soft spot for Inspector Koichi Zenigata. That man is amazing and I love him. He’s a cinnamon roll and he’s also very badass and he’s just SO FUCKING STUBBORN OMG.

MorMor: Well... Moran and Moriarty, obviously. I became obsessed with Moriarty because I have a thing for evil geniuses who look and act scary, that’s a secret to no-one at this point. Also he has a LOT of potential for angst. The reason I got into MorMor in the first place was because Sebastian was an excuse for Jim not to die, then I fell in love with the fandom’s creativity and the complete freedom we have to build the characters. The MorMor fandom is kinda like a Build-A-Bear store except it’s Build-A-Moran. I love Sebastian because the fandom has made him such a complex character. Like, yes, he’s a criminal and a murderer and probably evil by most people’s standards, but... He’s also human? He loves his boyfriend so much and would do anything for him, and he has his own struggles with morals and with his past, and Jim and Seb’s relationship is something so complex and HUMAN. I think that’s what I love with them. That we can take these two horrible criminals and find the good parts in them and fucking empathize with them. Also, the massive potential for angst.

Discworld: I already declared my love for Sam Vimes in a previous ask so I won’t repeat myself.

La Quête d’Ewilan (and subsequent novels): Imma do this one in English and in French.

ELLANA. MOTHERFUCKING. CALDIN.  How can I express how fucking OBSESSED I was with her as a kid. She was my IDOL. I wanted to grow up to be like her. Her life and her philosophy shaped me in a way that I can actually recognize and pinpoint even to this day. She’s the archetype of the strong and independent woman, and to be perfectly honest she is a bit of a cliché, but when I was a kid that didn’t matter, because I had this role model of a woman who is completely and utterly FREE, who never lets ANYONE dictate what she has to do, for whom her freedom and integrity are the core element of her identity and her most precious treasure that she will never let anyone take away from her. She taught me about choices and responsibility, she taught me about friendship and love, she taught me to stand up for myself. In the end I didn’t grow up to be like her, but a part of who I am today, I owe to her, and to all the other characters in these books who gave me an example to follow and a goal to reach. Besides all the moral and philosophical aspects, she’s also a badass warrior (I’ve already told you, I have a fucking type) with incredible physical abilities (she’s the reason I have a strong fascination for knives, so now Dan knows who to blame), and a massive amount of sass.

(Also... I clearly had a massive gay crush on her even though I didn’t recognize it at the time)

ELLANA. MOTHERFUCKING. CALDIN. Comment est-ce que je peux exprimer à quel point j’étais OBSEDEE par elle quand j’étais gosse. Elle était mon IDOLE. Je voulais grandir et devenir comme elle. Sa vie et sa philosophie m’ont formée et guidée d’une manière dont je suis encore capable de discerner clairement les répercussions aujourd’hui. Elle est l’archétype de la femme forte et indépendante, et pour être parfaitement honnête elle est un peu un cliché, mais quand j’étais gamine ça n’était pas important, parce que j’avais ce modèle d’une femme complètement et totalement LIBRE, qui ne laissait jamais QUICONQUE lui dicter ce qu’elle devait faire, pour qui sa liberté et son intégrité étaient le coeur même de son identité et son trésor le plus précieux, qu’elle ne laisserait jamais personne lui arracher. Elle m’a enseigné les choix et les responsabilités, m’a parlé de l’amour et de l’amitié, m’a appris à m’affirmer et me défendre. Au final je ne suis pas devenue comme elle, mais il y a une partie de ce que je suis aujourd’hui que je lui dois, à elle et aux autres personnages de ces romans qui m’ont donné un exemple à suivre et un but à atteindre. A côté de tous ces aspects moraux et philosophiques, c’est aussi une guerrière badass (je vous ai dit que j’avais un putain de type) avec d’incroyables capacités physiques (elle est la raison pour ma fascination avec les couteaux, dagues et autres lames, maintenant Dan sait à qui s’en prendre), et une quantité incroyable de répartie.

(Aussi... j’avais clairement un putain de béguin pour elle quand j’étais gosse même si à l’époque je ne m’en rendais pas compte)

Told you this was going to be a long post. Thank you for this, Dan ^^