#mac n cheese balls

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

today's dinner is called "i am five years old"

[interstellarwizard2019]

Two Scary Stories For A Mac N’ Cheese

The gentle hum of a tuneless melody rang through the

the home of two of Earthbread’s zaniest Professors as Cheese Ball moved a line of Berry Pupas from their first container into a colorful Berryfly hutch that hung on her office wall. When she finished, she stood back and admired her work. Almost 45 Strawberry Sugar Swirl caterpillars have successfully pupated that day and have begun their next phase in their lives. The quirky professor turned her attention to a small to-do list that rested on her desk and proceeded to check-off a few item boxes.

"Okey-dokey…Pupated caterpillars: Moved! Student’s homework: Grrrrrraded! Cheesebeetle farm: cleaned and maintained!” Cheese Ball giggled as she checked off all of her remaining tasks for the day. She whooped and did a little victory dance when she realized she’d done all her chores for the day. Now all that was left was a shower, tuck her Lil’ Mac to bed, and drag her night owl of a hubby to bed before he passed out from exhaustion.

After a quick shower, Cheese Ball then took her son and showered him and put him in a set of butter tiger print pjs, to which he proceeded to ‘Maul’ his own mother afterwards…Cheese Ball could do nothing but scream out in agony and hold the ferocious beast in the air as its little ‘claws’ attempted to strike her.

“Oh nooooo! Someone help me! A hungry butter tiger is trying to eat meeeee!!! The Professor cried out in pain as she gently shook the heinous beast over her head and plopped him onto his bed. “The beast has been tamed!”

Mac N’ Cheese pulled down the sheets of his bed as Cheese Ball sat on a chair beside him, she tucked him into bed and handed him his stuffed cheesebird plush.

“Alright, kiddo, what story do ya wanna hear tonight?” She asked as she combed the green bookshelf on the wall with her hand. “We got: Cowboy Cookie’s Hoedown Throwdown, Cinderella Cookie, The dragon and the dancer, or how ‘bout-“

“Something…spooky!” Mac N’ Cheese squeaked gleefully, throwing his hands in the air as he spoke.

“Somethin’ spooky?! Kid, you’ve too much mustard, ya know that?” Cheese Ball scolded playfully, poking her kid’s nose for emphasis. “Why not the usual silly story instead?”

“Spooky story! Spooky story!” The tiny gremlin cookie demanded, throwing off the sheets and bouncing in the bed ecstatically.

“Okay! Okay! Chill, Mac! I’ll tell ya a spooky story! Just relax!” Cheese Ball soothed, not wanting her son to get hurt she decided to cave into his demands for a ‘Spooky story’ for just one night. “But don’t you start bouncing on your bed like that again, alright? Can’t have you cracking your dough before you even start preschool.”

The young cookie cheered and hopped back to bed, his mother let out a short sigh and looked over the bookcase again to try to find a 'Spooky Story' to read. "Well, Mac, Looks like we don't have anythin' spooky in your reading collection, so I'm gonna have to improvise here, sweetie."

Mac N’ Cheese looked tentatively at Cheese Ball, she rubbed her chin trying to come up with a clever story. As she hemmed and hawed a few stories finally came to mind. “Eureka! Okay, Lil’ Mac, have ya heard the tale of the Heartless king of the citadel or…the Golden Queen of the Scorching Dunes? Which one do ya wanna hear first, hon?”

“Both!” The young Cookie proclaimed. Cheese Ball pretended to be shocked by his answer, she dramatically placed her hand over her chest as if taken aback by his response.

“Both?! You’re really asking to get nightmares tonight aren’t ya, caterpillar?” She playfully ruffled her son’s hair before inching her chair closer. “But sure, I’ll tell ya both. Let’s start with the Heartless king.”

“Our story begins many centuries ago…”

In a land far, far away from ours, In an endless snowy tundra there is a kingdom forever coated in a thick blanket of eternal snow and bitterness. There lives a king born of malice and bitterness, the unfortunate result of the unholy union of licorice-tainted snow lion and a soulless warlord. He roams the strawberry jam-stained battlefield reattaching the limbs of the dead and dying soldiers and uses his sword to force their souls to come back to life as undead warriors that follow his every command. His roar is powerful enough to summon a powerful blizzard and every step he takes causes the ground beneath his feet to turn to lifeless ice.

The desserts that live under his reign tremble and hide whenever they feel his presence, for whoever catches a glimpse of the king's eyes have their minds broken and become strawberry jam-thirsty monsters that attack anything in sight. The cookies in his kingdom live in a constant state of eternal hunger, their dough has fallen off of their bodies due to the lack of food and unforgiving cold…to the point that many of them have resorted to cookiebalism! Hunting down any foolish outsider who dare enter their domain. Some say that they kidnap lost children and force them to become ruthless warriors!

There once lived a healer in a village by the frigid seas who did all in her power to help her fellow cookies, but because of the king’s dark influence on the land it was slowly becoming an impossible task. Then The Heartless King chose her to be the vessel in which she would carry his offspring; he even threatened to destroy her village if she refused. Without any other options, she reluctantly agreed and thus conceived his child, but sadly she lost her life during the birth leaving the poor boy in the care of his odious father making him grow up to be a sovereign of darkness.

It is said that the King lives deep within the cold walls of a citadel made of bricks as dark as his own heart. Not a single soul who enters his den ever comes out. “Why?” You may ask. Because if you so much as make the slightest sound, a single pindrop, the slightest breath…HE BURST OUT FROM THE SHADOWS AND GOBBLES YOU UP WHOLE!!!

Cheese Ball picked up her son from his bed and pretended to bite down on the side of his stomach which soon turned into her blowing raspberries causing him to burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. He squirmed as she proceeded to blow raspberries on his neck. Finally Cheese Ball playfully dropped him onto the bed and pulled the sheets back on him.

"Welp! That's the story of the Heartless King, bugaboo." Cheese Ball chirped, tucking him back to bed and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight, my sweet little prince!" As she got up to leave she felt a tiny hand grab her arm.

"Wait, what about the Golden Queen of The Scorching Dunes, mama? Weren't you going to tell me both stories?" Mac N’ Cheese asked. Cheese Ball sighed and sat back in the chair.

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell ya the tale…OF THE GOLDEN QUEEN OF THE SCORCHING DUUUUUUUUUUNES!!!” Cheese Ball bombastically announced, she dramatically waved her hands in the air for emphasis. Once more Little Mac cheered and got ready for his second story.

Hidden within shimmering sands, blazing hot deserts, and cheesy valleys, there resides a kingdom inhabited by cheesebirds, moles, and cookies alike, all of whom were ruled by a cruel Queen bound within a golden sarcophagus. She forced all of her citizens to slave away in her palace. The cheesebirds were made to use their little beaks to carve out statues of gold in her image, the moles were banished to the mines where they were forced to dig out clusters of gold 24/7, the cookies were made to work in the Queen’s refineries. The kingdom itself looked as if it had been abandoned for years, but in reality it was still inhabited but the citizens were so occupied with maintaining the Gilded Palace and the Queen’s many treasures day and night that they couldn’t take care of their own homes.

The Queen had a daughter, a meek little princess whom she created to act as a false goddess. She kept her bound within a golden birdcage hung high above the palace and used her to inspire false hope within the citizens to make them continue serving the Queen…until one day…the princess escaped her cage! It turned out that she…she…she…she fell in love with a mole scientist! And he had helped her escape the birdcage! The Queen was enraged by her beloved jewel’s disobedience, she commanded that she be punished immediately so she sent out two mole soldiers to kill both the princess and her forbidden lover. Not only did she stage their deaths as a murder, she pinned the blame on the moles, thus giving her every right to banish every mole underneath the soil ‘til time’s quietus!

“But that’s not fair! She made them kill them for her!” Little Mac interrupted.

“You tellin’ the story or am I, ya bard?” Cheese Ball playfully scolded, gently ruffling his fluffy hair. “Now, where was I?

“The mummy queen banished the moles for time’s quietness!”

“Ah! Yes! The banishment!” Cheese Ball exclaimed “And it’s ‘Quietus’, sweetheart. It’s a fancy way of saying the end of something or someone.” She cleared her throat when she finished.

Anyways, the Queen’s cruelty knew no bounds. Once the moles have been exiled to the underground, she forced the cheesebirds and cookies to pick up the work the moles left behind, they had their basic essentials of living withheld to force them to continue their labor. Their water was taken away by a dam, their food supplies were

buried deep underground within the mines, and their children had their futures planned out by the queen herself…But alas this was not the Queen’s cruelest deed yet!

Once every decade, on the hottest day of the year, the Queen opens the doors to the Gilded Palace to allow foolish wanderers in. Drawn by the allure of the endless riches that rest within the heart of the palace, the cookie shall enter a room filled to the brim with riches beyond imagination! All the rubies, diamonds, and pearls that could make one eternally rich with only a handful! But this was all a trap…

In the center of the room lies a golden Sarcophagus…it will be on the cookie to come closer…and closer…until finally…THE GOLDEN QUEEN REVEALS HERSELF!!! The revolting mummified sovereign lunges out of her gilded coffin and uses her living bandages to ensnare her victim, dragging them into the sarcophagus where she’ll steal their life energy and trap their souls forever in her tomb!!!

Once she finished her second story, Cheese Ball expected either a tired or frightened Little Mac, but instead…he was actually laughing! He was never the least bit spooked by either of her stories, if anything he was…enthralled.

"Hold up, you're still not the least bit scared?!" Cheese Ball Faux-Angrily asked. She picked up the giggly youngster and pulled up the back of his shirt. “Something must be wrong here, let me see what the problem is…”

She began to tap his upper back as if it were a control panel in a machine, even going as far as to make the cartoonishly exaggerated sounds of pressing buttons, in return Mac N’ Cheese laughed even louder and began to squirm around. Finally she pulled him into an upside down hug and pulled one of his feet to her ear like a phone.

“Customer service? Yeah, hi, I’m having trouble with my Spook-O-Matic 5000. I just told him two scary stories and he just laughed at them! Hello? Ya there?” Cheese Ball then placed her son in bed and proceeded to tickle his foot which resulted in even more laughter from him. “Looks like the slacker hung up on me!”

Finally, the little cookie let out a yawn and his eyelids began to feel heavy. Cheese Ball took this as her cue to lay him to rest. She tucked him once more, handed him the orange bird plush and gave him a kiss goodnight on the forehead.

“Good night, my sweet little rolly-polly!” She said and then blew a quick raspberry into his cheek.

“Good night, Mama…!” Mac N’ Cheese yawned as he curled up and slowly began to drift asleep.

Even though she failed to scare him at least she managed to tire out the endless ball of energy that was her son. She smiled at the sight of his peaceful slumber, she turned off the Safari themed lamp on his nightstand and quietly made her way out of his bedroom shutting the door as she left.

On the second floor’s balcony, Macaroni was busy gazing into his telescope to admire the night sky. With every adjustment he made he jotted down any slight difference in his notepad. While this wasn’t the colossal telescope from his observatory it still brought him a great amount of joy to gaze up at the stars. He heard someone open the glass sliding door behind him then they sat down next to him and then leaned their weight onto his side, he smiled as he immediately rested his head on their shoulder.

“Buonasera, Bella!” He greeted as he snuggled up to his chubby wife’s side and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Good evening to you too, chunker!” She purred as she nuzzled his cheek. “Spot any aliens tonight, hon?” She asked jokingly.

“None yet, but I think I’m fine with taking care of the ones back in the observatory. After all, three’s a crowd!” Macaroni chuckled while Cheese Ball giggled at his joke.

“You’re really somethin’, Eh, Mac?” She enquired as she got up from her seat. “Anyways I already set our fierce little Butter Tiger to bed; That boy is getting bigger by the day!”

“Well, considering how big his old man is I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Macaroni chuckled as he patted his belly. He then got up and stretched out his back. “I take it you’re here to drag me back to bed?”

“Considering the fact that you’d pull three all nighters in a row if I don’t: yes. Yes I am.” Cheese Ball smirked as she followed him to their bedroom, making sure to playfully pinch his cheek. He made a slightly annoyed huffing sound at her remark.

“Hey! It was ONE time back in college, Cheesy! I had an important paper to turn in that week!” He retorted as he slipped into his nightgown and cap. “Besides, didn't you once stick a whole swarm of bees to your face back then, Captain Honeybeard?”

“Eh, fair point, babe.” Cheese Ball plopped onto bed and kicked off her slippers. “Still do though.”

As they both settled in bed, Cheese Ball pulled out a manila envelope from underneath the mattress and placed it between them, a broad smile spread across her face as she waited in anticipation. Macaroni sat there staring at it for a solid minute before slowly reaching for it and opening it, dreading what might be in it.

“Is…is it from last month’s trip, bella?” Macaroni awkwardly responded with a nervous smile, he’s seen similar envelopes Cheese Ball handed him many months before, he dreaded opening the bulging parchment for he knew what it contained, but he couldn’t resist his wife’s eager expression as she nodded for him to open it. He took a deep breath and carefully pulled it open and pulled out its contents. It was…surprisingly not entirely what he expected.

Sure, it contained what he anticipated: Pictures of untreated injuries, financial documentation, interviews from some of the watchers and even the declining state of several of the villages in the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Some were even ruined and the void of all life. Macaroni kept looking through, his eyes widening with every new bit of info he saw, until he saw what was by far the most bizarre set of pictures in the envelope.

He pulled out a stack of photos and immediately recognized who the subject was: King Dark Cacao Cookie. From the looks of it he appeared to be in his office in all of the photos.

The first set showed him standing in front of a ten-tiered Macaron tower that was placed in the center of his office. He was eyeing the whole delicate piece with his usual stoic expression, but he looked as if he were…struggling to maintain it.

The second set showed him taking a single macaron from the tower and taking small deliberate bites out of it with one hand and with the other reaching for another macaron. This slowly gained momentum until he was downright shoving whole macarons into his mouth without remorse, the ravenous look in his eyes made him look like Cream Lynx tearing into its prey. For every third or fourth photo he quaffed down milk from a large jug, beads of milk streaked down his face before being unceremoniously whipped away by the king’s forearm.

The final set was the smallest of the bunch. It showed Dark Cacao leaning back in his chair, a look of sheer regret and shame plastered on his face as he cleaned off crumbs from his face. Macaroni could see that Dark Cacao had actually undone his belt to make room for his slightly bloated stomach. In the very last photo he could see that the entire macaron tower had been picked clean of every single macaron, the only thing left was the transparent base of the tower.

Macaroni’s eyes widened with both awe and shock at the results of his wife’s investigation. The only word he was able to say in response to everything he’d just read was: “Wow.”

“Pretty impressive, eh? None of ‘em ever suspected that the jovial Miss Choco Ball was actually Professor Cheese Ball all along! Heck, I’m pretty sure they still don’t know it was me.” Cheese Ball proudly remarked. Secretly she wished she had actually come up with a better name for her alter ego rather than copy the name of the famous soccer player, but then again she did wait until the last minute to come up with a good name for the job… “Took a bit of persuasion, but I won both their hearts and their stomachs! They couldn’t get enough of my cooking!”

Cheese Ball sat on the bed as she put on her sleep cap before taking off her glasses. She then laid down next to her husband and planted a kiss on his cheek. He immediately pulled her closer and kissed hers before blowing a raspberry on her neck. She cackled as she attempted to squirm free from his grip, but only managed to give him more opportunity to hug her harder.

“NOOOOOO!!! M-Macaroni! STOP!!!” She pleaded, wrapping her arms around him and tickling his sides in retaliation. And now he was the one laughing hysterically too. This lasted for about five minutes until they both exhausted themselves and came to an unspoken truce. Cheese Ball panted as she snuggled up to Macaroni. “Okay, big boy. You win this round.”

“As always, dearest!” Macaroni proudly declared, wrapping his arm around her lower back and pulled her closer to plant another kiss on her lips. “I hope you don’t mind, but I somewhat overheard the stories you told Little Mac tonight and…I was wondering if you perhaps…based them on two certain individuals whomst you have slight tensions with?”

“Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese? Yes. Yes it is.” Cheese Ball flatly answered. “Came up with The Heartless King when I escaped the citadel and a group of kids captured me in the cave exit. The Golden Queen was…something I made up just now. What of ‘em, hon?”

“Well…I’m just a bit concerned about…the subject matter. I know you don’t necessarily like them or the group they’re a part of, but they’re still REAL cookies! One of which is to visit this kingdom any day now and…who you have deceived a month ago!”

Cheese Ball rolled her eyes and said: “Oh don’t worry ‘bout that big oaf! Dude’s not gonna care that I’m here; it was Miss Choco Ball that broke into the citadel, not me!”

“Yes, but you’re forgetting that our boy is the kind to parrot everything he hears especially if someone is interested in what he has to say. So…what do you think will happen if by some chance Mac N’ Cheese is to meet him and tell him the story and he starts to piece together that the story about an evil, sadistic king is about him?” Macaroni questioned, to which Cheese Ball almost deflated, but then she came up with another brilliant plan.

“Easy, Big guy! While King Grump Cacao’s staying here, we keep our sweet little cherub as far away from him as possible!” Cheese Ball declared, puffing her chest out in triumph. “Plus, Parfaedia has some pretty good pediatric therapists on hand so we don’t have to worry ‘bout any repercussions…maybe… hopefully.”

She slowly slunk back into bed as Macaroni turned off his side of the bed. In her eyes, her son was pure, he could do no wrong, but Macaroni was right, that boy couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. “It’s just a silly bedtime story, none of it was true!” she thought to herself “What’s the harm in that?”

What’s the harm in a story?

Yeah, things aren’t gonna go well for her…

[jovalencia]

I miss my childhood house so much I would give anything to grab the knob at the end of the banister and jump from the third step and catch a million seconds of air while I whip myself around the banister and down the hall

[hecateisalesbian]

freakin came back from Cheesecake Factory and nothing in Florida prepared you for the Cheesecake factory

[f1]

'Holy Mac 'n Cheese Balls' | Danny Ric's Greatest Radio Moments

Doesn't matter what the situation is or the circumstance, you can always rely on the relentlessly entertaining Aussie to produce gold. For more F1® videos, visit https://www.Formula1.com Follow F1®: https://www.instagram.com/F1 https://www.facebook.com/Formula1/ https://www.twitter.com/F1 https://www.twitch.tv/formula1 https://www.tiktok.com/@f1 #F1 via FORMULA 1 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB_qr75-ydFVKSF9Dmo6izg

[mydailyfoodss]

[ryansbedroom]

LEGO Mac-N-Cheese Balls

[ma1dita]

trouble's coming for you

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 3.7k

summary: (established relationship) suggestive banter lol The one where Percy meets his two favorite counselors at Camp Half-Blood. Also known as the three times Percy is completely oblivious about you two, plus the time he learns what L-O-V-E looks like for two teen demigods. (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: PERCY POV!!! maybe the real enemy was the blue balls Luke got from a clueless 12-year-old. you’re gonna tell me you wouldn’t overthrow the gods too? scream at me in the comments and feel free to reblog :)

(posted 2/29/24, edited!!! i think!!! four hours of sleep later and a big kiss to @hotchfiles miss lari as always for inspo mwah)

—

What’s in a name?

One of the last defining memories Percy Jackson had with his mother before arriving at Camp Half-Blood was her reminder that names have power. He’s held fast to that belief, treading carefully with his words in this unfamiliar place that he’s supposed to call home so soon after losing his own.

Being the new kid for the hundredth time in his life means that he’s accustomed to change, much less introducing himself as Percy Jackson, whatever that means at this point—but then becoming known simply as the kid who causes trouble. What then, is he supposed to do, when his first friend at camp introduces him to a girl who embodies the name trouble? 

To Luke, through Percy’s actions, it seems as if he’s trying to reclaim a crown that currently belongs to the beloved head counselor of Camp Half-Blood.

—

The dining pavilion is filled with mouth-watering scents and the sound of chattering campers to the point that it’s a bit overstimulating if he thinks too hard about it. Mr. Brunn—er, Chiron told him to take it easy after the events from yesterday, but he feels a bit tough on luck after making Luke run circles around camp trying to find what he’s good at.

“Is there a Greek god of disappointment? Maybe someone should ask if he’s missing a kid,” Percy says glumly, pushing the mac and cheese around on his plate. Luke sighs, letting the boy to his right speak.

“Oizys,” Chris mumbles through full cheeks before he cocks his head at the 12-year-old, “but she’s a goddess, and her whole thing isn’t really disappointment, it’s more like failure.”

Luke looks to Chris with a half smile before looking back at the kid and saying, “We’re gonna find the thing you’re good at. I know it.” He looks like he’s going to say something else before something, or someone catches his attention and it’s almost like the older boy is transfixed, eyes shining with mischief or something deeper that Percy’s young brain couldn’t comprehend just yet. 

“And here comes trouble…” Luke says with a smirk, eyes following your figure until your feet take you to their table. The sandy-haired boy twists around, expecting to see a goddess of some sort until he sees you, violet eyes and a lilt of something sinister—giving off the energy of someone who holds power but also likes to fuck with it. You cross your arms over your chest, gaze floating over the three boys and at the tip of your chin, Luke takes his plate off the table, prompting you to hop up and slide onto the smooth surface in front of him. 

“You look like someone kicked your puppy, so you must be the new kid. Peter, right?”

A snort of laughter comes from behind your slouched form, Luke partially concealed but body obviously shaking with amusement as he looks at you.

“He might just turn out to be a puppy kicker one day,” the son of Hermes jokes, “Meet Percy Jackson.”

“That’s not…”

You sigh at Luke’s idea of a joke, face incredulous as you lean over and conjure strawberries onto Percy’s plate. He’d never seen anything like that before, someone so casual about their abilities, but he didn’t have much of a reference past yesterday. This camp keeps surprising him in ways he’s never imagined possible.

“Heard D gave you a hard time earlier, sorry about him—I’d blame it on withdrawals but he’s just an asshole,” you offer with a smile and a handshake as you introduce yourself, watching the boy’s eyes widen with wonder.

“It’s not your fault…I’m used to being the new kid.”

Eyebrows furrowing at his tone, you lean in closer, voice turning serious. You’re a lot like Mr. D in the sense that it’s easy for you to poke at the kids who come through here for a reaction to make sure they’re okay mentally. When they don’t react is usually the call for help.

“Well, new kid, if anyone gives you a problem here at camp, you let me know. Even if it’s these two hooligans, or if it’s my dad.”

“You’re talking to our lovely head counselor, Percy. She calls the shots around here,” Chris chimes in jest. But only one part of your sentence sticks in his mind as he whips his head up from munching on a berry. 

“He’s your dad?”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” you giggle, “and though you’re sweet and I would love to have you as a sibling, he kind of has a rule on having too many kids at once, unlike other gods.”

“A rule he’s already broken,” Luke drones, hand fidgeting with the black bandana tied around your thigh, “but who knows? If Percy ends up to be one of you, well…may the gods have mercy on us all.”

A deadpan stare is directed at the scarred boy, and you swipe at his curls like a feral cat, making him wince and laugh all the same as he bats you away.

“Tough shit, 11. Do you know how many hellions inhibit your cabin? Your dad inflicts agony on me personally every time another one of your siblings walks past the boundaries.”

The petty squabble is interrupted by the chime of the bell over your heads, but you two are still in a world of your own. It reminds Percy of the time he watched two subway rats fight over a pizza slice on the 6—he didn’t really know who to root for then either. Chris sighs and gets up, nudging Luke to follow, which he does begrudgingly as he claps his large hand on your leg. You hiss.

“Our turn!” Luke says with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Our turn for what?”

“Burnt offerings,” you explain as you chomp on a strawberry, “the gods like the smell, so it gets their attention before you say a prayer.” You notice Percy stay in his seat, which makes a smile pull at your lips, “Think you’re off the hook for today though, bud. Or you can be just like me.”

“Don’t give him any ideas, trouble. I’ll throw in a few for Hestia.” Luke chews at his lip as he leans over you to grab a few berries off of Percy’s plate to toss into the fire for you. 

“You don’t pray?”

“I’m not really the religious type. I’ve got what I need,” you concede, leaning back on your palms as you watch the son of Hermes stand for a few extra seconds at the hearth. “Besides, my godrent is right over there, and Luke worries enough for me. It’s more his thing,” you say with a lazy smile. The campers filing out of the dining hall wave at you and you enthusiastically greet everyone with dancing fingers. He doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone that…happy to be on the job, but things work differently around here, so he doesn’t think much of your upbeat attitude.

“Eat up. Some of that strength has to go to you. Gonna need it.” You say ruffling Percy’s hair, and when Luke comes back, he tugs at the shoelaces of your boots until you kick his hands away. You both share a smile like people do a secret, even here in the open air.

“Do they like the smell of burnt mac and cheese?” Percy says curiously, eating another spoonful of the meal. His head hurts at another thing to consider in this brand-new world he’s walked into.

“They like the smell of begging,” Luke grins, and you laugh like a firework going off, making Percy’s lips pull up into a smile.

“I’m not much of a beggar though, if you ask me.”

The son of Hermes hums at you like he wants to say otherwise, and you slap his chest as you suck air through your teeth. Beneath the wood top of the table and with Percy being none the wiser, your fingers intertwine with Luke’s like it’s second nature. 

“You burn what you’ll miss the most. Then they know you really mean what you’re about to say, so they listen.” 

Luke takes a breath after explaining how things work for the nth time to the kid, knowing Percy’s quite persistent about making his dad notice him. He remembers being jaded too—striving to be the best for a lick of his dad’s attention and all of his efforts were done in vain. Even though the kid’s arrival at camp was a bit unexpected, Luke doesn’t mind showing him around. 

Hopefully, less work on your end means that he can spend more time with you once this is over with— but by the looks of how the day is going so far, he’s not so sure. He hopes his offerings reach the gods and they grant him extra patience for his good deeds. Watching you laugh at something Percy says as you all walk out of the dining pavilion, Luke wonders if you know that every offering he burns for the goddess of the hearth and home is so that she’ll protect you.

—-

“Lights out in 10 minutes, cabin 11! Everyone ready for bed?”

The sound of your voice jolts Percy awake from his post-dinner nap and he blinks slowly until he sees you walking towards him with extra blankets and pillows in your grasp. The other campers were kind of stand-offish, and after praying to his mom he was overwhelmed with the feeling of missing her, so much so that it drained the rest of his energy.

“Long day, huh bud?”

Drowsy with sleep, for a moment, Percy forgets where he is—the unfamiliar walls of the cabin making him shift with unease as he rubs at his eyes. The blurry version of you makes his chest go warm and for a second, it’s like—

“Mom?”

He blinks again, his pale face turning red when he realizes his slip-up. Percy’s shoulders drop when he hears giggles from somewhere in the big cabin and you reach out to smooth his hair away from his face with a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone who first comes to 11 gets nightmares. For some of them, they don’t leave,” you mutter. Percy notices your eyes flicker over to Luke’s bed, where he’s zipping up his hoodie and chatting with one of his half-siblings. Cabin 11 is finally quieting down for the night—children scrambling into their bunks, doing nighttime routines, and having quiet conversations. It’s all so weird, this being everyone’s normal.

“You’re not alone though. Saw you earlier, outside. I still pray to my mom sometimes. She's quite the listener,” you say with a sad twinkle in your eye. The kid sniffs as you hand him the pillows and blankets, finally meeting your gaze.

“Did your mom…” Die too? The words feel like lead in his throat, feeling heavy as he swallows it down. He doesn’t want to cry in front of the pretty counselor, much less speak the truth, because if he says it out loud, it means his mom dying must have been real. Also since you’ve seen him sit in the dark of the forest burning blue jelly beans like a freak. What he didn’t know is that you pride yourself on being one. It takes one to know one, after all.

“Yeah. Makes for one hell of an origin story, but I found my place here, and people who care. I know you will too, when you’re rea—” Your words trail off when you see Luke walk past the both of you with a cool expression before he nods towards the door, and you squeeze Percy’s shoulder before getting up.

“Night guys! It’s getting late so we’ll have to do a story next time, okay?” You walk down the aisle patting heads and tucking in smaller campers, and he hears you whack the younger Stoll brother when he teasingly says, “It’s not fair that Luke gets a bedtime story and we don’t…”

“Connor, enough. I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve woken up and called me mom, so save it for tomorrow.” He must have been the one laughing earlier.

“Everyone say goodnight trouble!” Luke calls out with a coy expression, making you roll your eyes as you flick the light off to a symphony of jeers. It’s finally quiet as Percy is propped up against some pillows that smell like raspberries and soft cotton before he realizes he has to pee. 

But Chris said harpies hunt kids after curfew… he thinks.

In a moment of sheer panic, Percy looks around in the darkness of the cabin before the sound of your cackling pierces through the dim light from the outside. He hops up from the makeshift cot and tugs his shoes back on, slowly creeping past the long row of bunks to not disturb other campers before he gets to the door. Your head turns quickly to the intrusion as you spring away from Luke, stubbing a cigarette underneath the wood panel out of sight when Percy steps through the doorway. 

“Sorry, I need to use the bathroom,” he says sheepishly as Luke nods, scratching his neck and leaning a far distance away from you. Under the low burning lamps, Percy notices Luke’s cheeks redden and he wonders if he is interrupting something, but the urge to go increases as he steps between you two.

“Right. I’ll walk you to yours?” Luke blurts in one breath. With a wordless smile on your lips, you nod before Percy purposely interrupts this time.

“I can walk her, it’s on the way to the bathrooms, right?”

If only this poor kid knew he was being the cockblock of the century.

“Yeah, Percy’s got me. The harpies won’t like you missing curfew, Castellan,” you tease, stepping around him with a shit-eating grin. Your hair almost floats in the gentle breeze, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“Stay out of trouble. I mean it,’ he sighs, before shoving you off the porch, and you laugh at the irony of his words. Looking back at Luke, Percy noticed his eyes were on you like he wanted to live in your skin, which was equal parts disgusting and confusing to the 12-year-old. His steps double in pace as you both walk down the path and a brief side glance at your stifled smile quickly makes the kid wonder if you’d let him. Pushing the sleeves of Luke’s hoodie past your elbows, you wave at Percy’s rushing figure as he almost bolts to the bathroom and you lean against the doorway of your empty cabin. You turn the light on and look across the way to see your boyfriend still leaning against his door, so you flip him off. Of course, he takes that as his cue to saunter over.

But then the loud clanging sound of pipes bursting reaches both of your ears and toilet water floods the dirt near the back end of your cabin. 

So close.

“I’m gonna go check on Annie to see if she’s still on duty. Tough luck, babe,” you giggle, pressing a kiss to his cheek before walking in the direction that Percy went, sending the son of Hermes to drag his feet towards your cabin, alone (he didn’t expect to fall asleep propped over your covers waiting up for you, but a lot happened in that damn bathroom).

—

“Hey, today feel like a winning kind of day to you?” Annabeth smirks at the son of Hermes. Next to them, Percy feels a hand clap him on the shoulder and all three of them turn to see you donning red.

“Didn’t you three hear the conch? Wouldn’t want you to fall behind,” you say with a grin as Luke steps up to you and whistles lowly.

“Didn’t know you were playing today. It’s a shame you look that good in red.”

Annabeth fake gags as she crosses her arms to say, “You’re also currently on enemy territory if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, you wound me. I’m not a threat. Percy, I obviously don’t have the flag, right?”

He nods a bit dumbly, still worried about the mechanics of the game and the part he has to play for the blue team, but no one else seems to share his concerns.

“Anyways, sorry I’m not on your team, Perce. The Ares kids snatched me up as soon as my name was on the roster, so I came to wish you all luck.”

“This better not be a diversion tactic, trouble,” Luke simpers, playfully tugging at your staff, which you use for leverage to step up onto a rock to meet him at eye level.

“Nah. You know I like the competition, angelface,” you whisper, almost daring him to do something.

“Bite me, trouble.”

There’s a fire in his eyes you’d love to stoke, but now’s not the time or place. You can’t help but indulge though—the both of you enjoy the reactions you can pull from each other.

“You’d like it too much.”

“Alright now,” Annabeth groans, calling your name, rolling her eyes as she pulls at Luke’s arm, “Gotta remember he’s your enemy!” 

“I’M TRYING!” You laugh, shaking your head and walking back towards your team as you shoot them a fake salute. It all happens too quickly as Percy’s unable to catch the spitfire words between the two of you, thinking further about how he might get maimed during this game (which in the grand scheme of things, he almost does. Thanks Clarisse).

“Those two are hopeless! Walk faster, sunshine—we lost too much time watching whatever that was.” Percy stumbles along the forest path as he follows Annabeth, the both of them leaving Luke smirking to himself as he follows the rest of their team. 

Hours later, at Clarisse’s muddy feet and holding her broken spear, Percy hears cheering in the distance as he watches the blue team led by Luke waving the red flag in one hand and your legs supported by his other. You’re in a fireman’s hold across his shoulders and everyone watches as the son of Hermes spins you around like a Tilt-a-Whirl until the sound of your shrieks is audible from the shoreline. He sets you down gently, dominant hand still around your waist as he snickers, “Got my win and my girl. Must be time to celebrate.” You laugh at his absurdity, pulling his helmet off and wiping the sweat off his forehead with your bandana.

“You’re always going to be a loser in my eyes.” 

Slapping the plush of your hip, the sound echoes in the air—suddenly quiet as you gasp. But you’re not looking at Luke anymore, but rather the gleaming trident above Percy’s head as it’s revealed he’s a forbidden child. His jaw tightens at the sight, and there are a lot of emotions running through him, remembering Thalia and knowing that his plans will have to be altered once more because of Percy Jackson. You squeeze his hand before walking away from him to follow your dad and Chiron to the Big House, shooting him a nervous glance.

Damn.

—

The boys have been sparring for hours, and just as you think Percy’s getting the hang of it, Luke thrusts forward with an energy no one should have towards a 12-year-old. Although a bit concerning, he does have a lot to catch up on how to fight like a demigod before his quest in a few days.

“Take a break or else you’ll be crawling away from camp by the end of the week,” you joke, handing Percy and Luke bottles of cold water. Your boyfriend takes big gulps before pouring the rest over his head, leaving you gaping and a little hot under his stare as he nudges your chin and winks.

“You’re doing that on purpose!”

Luke shrugs slyly, and the both of you watch Percy catch his breath. He leans over your shoulder, the tone of his voice sultry as it tickles your ear, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.” 

You bite your lip, before bursting with laughter—which isn’t exactly the reaction he thought you’d have. Maybe he should’ve finished reading the sonnet before falling asleep, but you always take too long with your nighttime skincare routine.

“That doesn’t mean what you think it means, but you’re cute for trying,” you coo, leaning closer so that your cheek touches his. Luke’s whole face is warm from exertion and now embarrassment, but he smiles nonetheless at the proximity. He can’t believe he still misses you, even when you’re skin-to-skin like this.

“That stanza…Isn’t it about names being meaningless?” Percy says between gasps of air before he pours the rest of the water bottle over his head like Luke did. He’s looking up at the both of you as he leans against a tree, instantly feeling more rejuvenated.

You jerk up from your seated position on the large rocks, excited to talk about Shakespeare, and Luke almost pouts at the loss of your attention.

“Yeah! Good job, bud. I forget you went to a hoity-toity charter school,” you say tongue-in-cheek, before turning back to your boy.

“So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and, for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself. You’re gonna have to interpret that one yourself, angelface.” 

“Trust I have no fucking clue but you sound really hot when you talk dirty to me,” Luke says with a shrug. Percy laughs at that, before finally bringing up the question that’s been on his mind since Luke introduced you to him.

“Why do you call her trouble? She seems okay to me.”

“Thanks,” you say dryly, but the older boy leans on his arm with a lovestruck expression as he gazes at you. Oh…Percy thinks, brain feeling freshly washed. How did he miss that?

“She used to get in trouble a lot,” he says, before you elbow him hard, “I mean, we used to get in trouble, she’d always drag me into it.”

“You always offered! Don’t twist the fucking story,” you shriek, and the boys laugh at your exasperation.

“Yeah anyways, she’d always find me. Still does, my partner in crime. Trouble always comes for me,” Luke murmurs, waggling his eyebrows and intertwining your fingers together. Your jaw drops and cheeks flush and Percy thinks he understands better now, but gets confused again with what you do next.

You almost slap the goddamn scar off that boy’s face.

—

It is a terrible thing to be so open: it is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world. -Sylvia Plath

ask to be put on luke/general taglists!

luke taglist (some won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun @lilacspider @theadventuresofanartist @sucker4seresin @simpforsunwoo @zanzie @starrystormwritings @silver007 @sunny747 @huang-the-geek

[sharararararara]

WAR AND BEAUTY

WARNINGS: Just cuss words and Clarisse getting jealous.

Pairing: Clarisse x Child of Aphrodite Reader

Summary: Clarrise gets jealous because Percy is in love with her girlfriend.

REQUESTED?: YES

Requested by: @kitten-reader

You were the daughter of Aphrodite, the Goddess of beauty and love. And you fell in love with Clarisse, the daughter of Ares, the God of war.

It's basically you fell first but she fell harder.

Most people might say that you both were not a good match, but don't worry, Clarisse had a little "chat" with them.

You love Clarisse, and she loves you too.

....

You were walking with Clarisse, side-by-side. You liked the little strolls around camp-half blood with her.

"Hey!-"

You turned your head around to see a blonde-haired boy. Your girlfriend just bumped into him.

Clarisse pushed him to the ground, making him fall on his back. "Hey- Why you did do that?" You asked grabbing her arm gently, making her face you.

Before she could speak, Luke caught her off.

"Woah- Hey! Knock it off Clarrise, it's like his first day come on." Said Luke making Clarisse look at him.

"So this is the kid who killed the minotaur, is that right?" She asked, walking a little closer to the blonde boy.

"Yeah?" He said, looking nervous.

"I'll bet."

Said Clarisse making the new kid walk backward, trying to get away.

"Like you want attention around here Dummy? Better be ready for it when it comes."

"Clarisse-"

She jerked her head toward the new kid, making him flinch.

She and her friends laughed, walking away. You walked behind her, trying to catch up.

"Clarisse, that was mean," You said putting your hand on her shoulder. "He deserved it" She replied, she looked angry.

"Why?" You asked, "What did he do wrong?"

"He lied about killing the minotaur, he wants attention." Said Clarisse, answering your question. "How do you even know he did?" You asked.

"I know that kid Is fucking lying, I just know it" Said Clarisse, cussing under her breath.

"Clarisse, language," You said, making her groan and rolling her eyes.

"Whatever," Said Clarisse, walking back to her cabin. You sighed. What are you gonna do with this girl?

...

You were eating breakfast, it was nothing special. It's just toast and fruits.

You looked at your surroundings. You saw the other Cabin kids eating in another table.

"Hey, could I sit here?"

You turned your head only to see the boy from yesterday. "Oh- Yah sure" You replied, scooting over to give him space.

The boy sat beside you, placing his Mac-n-cheese on the table beside your boring toast and fruits'

"My name is Percy," He said taking a spoonful of man-n-cheese. He looked like a chipmunk because of how much food he put in his mouth.

"Nice to meet you, Percy! My name is Y/N" You replied, taking a bite of your half-eaten toast.

"I think I saw you yesterday, with that girl named-"

"Clarisse?" You asked, "Yeah her!" He said. " Why was she so mean? Like what did I even do?!" Percy asked, looking at his ball of Mac-n-cheese.

"Clarisse is like that sometimes, she did not mean it." You lied, knowing that she really meant it. You just wanted to stand up for your girlfriend.

"Are you claimed?" He asked. "Yeah! I'm the daughter of Aphrodite." You replied. "The Goddess of Love and Beauty?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's my mom" You replied, giving a little chuckle. "Well, good thing that you're claimed. My dad has been ignoring me for my whole life." He said sadly.

"Oh..." You did not know what to say or how to react. It took a year for your mother to claim you. You did not really care it took that long for her to notice you.

You missed staying in the Hermes cabin, it was fun when it lasted. "I'm sorry about what happened to you," You said to Percy, putting your hand on his shoulder and giving a warm smile.

"I- uh no- its fine" Stuttered Percy, turning his head away from you, and taking a bite from his food.

You chuckled, taking one last bite of your now cold toasted bread and eating the last piece of fruit.

"See you later Percy" You said before standing up and taking your plate away.

You walked over to the pile of dirty dishes, placing your on one of the stacks.

"Why was he talking to you?" You turned your head to the voice, it was Clarisse. "What do you mean?" You asked turning your body to her.

"I mean why was he talking to you?" She asked once again, clearly getting a little upset. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I asked you first." Said Clarisse, moving closer to you. "He was just being nice" You replied.

"Nice?! You're saying that he was trying to be nice when he was obviously in love with you?!" Said Clarisse.

"What?" You asked. Percy likes you? But how? You just met like yesterday, how can he already like you?

"He's in love with you and I fucking hate it so stop hanging around him!" Said Clarisse walking away from you.

"Clarisse stop acting like this!" You said before running after her.

She ignored you as she walked to her cabin. "Clarisse!" You shouted, but she still did not listen.

Clarisse went inside her cabin, shutting the door. You sighed, you did not know why Clarisse was acting like this, you and Percy are just friends, nothing less nothing more.

...

You were sitting under a tree while writing in the journal Clarisse gifted you for your birthday.

"Hey"

You looked up to see only to see Clarisse standing in front of you. "Hey" You replied, looking back down on your journal.

She sat beside you as she bites her lip. "I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, I just- um... I just felt something that made me act that way," She said looking down.

"You felt jealous?" You asked, looking up at her. She widens her eyes, turning her head to you. "I- uh no" She replied, not knowing how to admit to you that she was jealous of Percy.

You chuckled and closed your journal. "Tell me the truth Clarisse, I know when you lie."

Your words made her groan, "Fine I was, so what!?" She said blushing and covering her face.

"I did not know the daughter of Ares can blush," You said jokingly, making her groan even more.

"Shut up," She said, turning to you with a smile on her face. "Make me." You said as you smirked at her.

"You're truly the daughter of Aphrodite, you're so lovely Dovey," She said, making you both laugh.

She leaned closer to you, her eyes on your soft lips. "I know a way to make you shut up" she said.

"Then do it," you whispered making eye contact with her.

She moved closer, making both of your lips touch. Her lips felt warm and plump against your lips, it felt nice.

"Oh uh-"

You pulled back from the kiss and looked up at the person. "Oh hi Percy" You said, getting embarrassed that he saw what you and Clarisse were doing.

"I did not know you liked girls," He said awkwardly. "I-Uh I did not mean it in a bad way- I just-"

"Get lost dummy" Said Clarisse rolling her eyes. "Clarisse that's mean," You said, making her groan.

"Oh uh- sorry yah I should go" Said Percy before running away. You watched him run away, making Clarisse sigh in relief.

"Good thing his gone, now where were we?" She asked as she smirked, before leaning closer.

You put your finger on her lips, making her look at you confused. "We are not gonna kiss until you say sorry for the mean things that you did to him" You said to Clarisse, making her groan in annoyance.

"Are you seriously making me do that right now?!" She asked, leaning her back on the tree. "Yes, now go and apologise or else no kisses,"

"Ugh fine" muttered Clarisse as she stood up and dusted the dirt from her pants. "But I'm only doing this because I love you," said Clarisse as she started to walk away to find Percy.

"I love you too Clarisse!" You shouted, making her turn her head and smile at you. "Ok now go apologise," You shouted, making her huff in annoyance.

I guess War and Beauty goes well together after all.

[papayadays]

lucky

summary: lando norris x uni/f1-engineer! reader gf - where you’re both lucky to have to each other

a/n: very self indulgent, second piece of writing posted! holy mac n’ cheese balls, 2,600+ words!

warnings: none, fluff, surprises, shenanigans, language like once?

“congratulations, graduate class of 2024!” your grin grew wider as it sunk in that you had officially graduated with your masters degree. you celebrated with close friends and family, cheering and taking loads of pictures before you felt two arms wrap around your waist. “lan!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him. “you’re here!”

a week or two ago, lando had told you that he wasn’t sure if he was able to come, considering mclaren needed him at the factory that week. you obviously reassured him that the team came first, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t thrilled that your boyfriend was here. another great part of graduation was that the paparazzi couldn’t follow lando in, though you hoped your classmates would have the decency to not take pictures as well.

“i’m so, so glad i could make it,” he mumbled into your neck before pecking your lips. “you just got your master’s degree! i’m so proud of you, love.”

“thanks,” you responded, a giddy grin on your face as one word flashed in your mind. perfect, everything was perfect. “i’m so happy you’re here for this. i know i said mclaren comes first, but right now, i’m glad that you’re with me. i love you, lando.”

he gave you his radiant smile that you had grown so fond of. “i love you too, y/n.”

.:*:.

later that evening, you were hunched over your laptop on the sofa while lando was playing some games with his mates. you were applying to some jobs, with around 15 tabs open.

you heard some footsteps after you uploaded your resume for the third time, and a head rested on your shoulder, brown curls falling into your peripheral.

“whatcha doing?” lando asked.

“just applying for jobs,” you replied.

“which teams have you applied to so far?” you had wanted to become an f1 engineer for as long as you can remember, and lando knew all about your aspirations.

“hm, let’s see, rb, mercedes, and aston martin,” you said, showing your boyfriend your screen.

“no mclaren?” he pouted, making you laugh.

“i’m getting there, don’t worry, lan,” you chuckled, clicking onto the mclaren website.

while you were doing that, lando commented, “y’know i could ask andrea if there are any travelling jobs available.” you scrolled through the jobs, frowning at the small number of vacancies.

“there’s not really anything,” you answered. “the tyre engineer looks like the only thing for my skill set, honestly.” lando leaned over your shoulder to get a better look at the job description.

“hey, that’s a travelling job!” he smiled. “i can talk to andrea, put in the good word for you and-”

“lan,” you interrupted. “i know you mean well, but i want to get in by my own means.” lando opened his mouth to protest, but you continued, “it would be amazing to be able to travel with you, but i need to be able to get in by myself. i need to know that i can still make it independently. i really hope you understand.”

“of course i understand,” lando sighed, a small smile of disappointment on his face. “you know i only want the best for you, love. it’s just that i could finally do something meaningful with my status, but that’d be giving you an advantage, so i’ll back off.” he finished by pressing a kiss to your temple.

your heart melted at your boyfriend’s actions; he wanted you by his side, but he put what you wanted first. “thank you, lan,” you smiled. “but fingers crossed i’ll get hired anyways.”

“luck? you don’t need that,” lando responded. “you’re smart, kind, beautiful, and amazing.” with each adjective, he pressed a kiss to your face.

“you flatter me,” you said, laughing.

“it’s true!” lando protested.

your gaze softened. “you know you’re the best, right, lando?”

“eh, you can say it again.”

.:*:.

you were travelling with lando to the mtc because you were “going to the race” with him, but really, you were there for your first day of work.

a few weeks ago, you had gotten emails from mercedes and mclaren, saying you got the job. however, you wanted to surprise lando, so you only told him about mercedes, telling him you were going to work for the silver arrows.

his disappointment almost made you change your mind, but it was going to be worth it to surprise him. ahead of time, you had reached out to oscar (well, mostly lily) and asked if he and zak could help you surprise lando. surprisingly, (but also not), they both agreed with eagerness, which you suspected was because your boyfriend was very lovable.

once you arrived at the mtc, you and lando walked around, getting an extra-warm welcome from zak, oscar, and lily. you introduced yourself to lily, for it was the first time you two had met in person, all of your previous contact being calls or texts.

“where and why have you been gatekeeping her, lando?” lily scolded, immediately wrapping you in a hug. “it’s so nice to finally meet you in person. now, we can finally ditch lando and oscar.” you gave her a smirk, leaning into her side as the two of you grinned at your boyfriends.

“this is exactly why,” lando scoffed. “hands off my girlfriend, even you, lily.” the aussie pouted before giggling, and everyone in the room knew she had no intentions of leaving you alone, nor did you want her to.

“anyways,” zak started, sending a quick pointed glance in your direction. “lando, you’re needed on the sim. oscar, lily, wanna chat with y/n?” personally, you thought it was too obvious but nonetheless, your boyfriend went along without question as zak ushered lando away to another mclaren employee before turning to the three of you. 

“okay, so here’s the plan, we’re going to show you to your office, give you the teamwear, and then bring in lando for the surprise. i’ll go to lando and you two show her to her desk. you know what to do if we need to stall,” zak stated. lily and oscar nodded solemnly, and you almost burst out laughing at how serious they were taking this.

“i’m so excited you got the job!” lily gushed, linking her arm through yours as the three of you went to the offices. “we can spend so much time together now.”

“she still has to work,” oscar pointed out, amusement on his face. “by your reaction, it almost sounds like she did all this for you.”

lily gave her boyfriend a conspiratorial glance. “maybe she did,” she smirked.

the aussie driver sighed in mock-annoyance before turning to you. “but in all seriousness, i think lando will love this surprise.” you thanked him, grinning at the prospect of the surprise about to unfold.

the couple stopped by an empty desk with the teamwear folded. “alright, so this is your temporary desk for now, since you’ll mostly just be travelling,” oscar explained.

“this is surprisingly well planned out,” you laughed, knowing who was likely spearheading this ‘project.’

“zak was really invested in this,” lily chimed in, confirming your suspicions. “let’s be real, he’s been waiting to do this to one of his sons.” you snorted at that.

“anyways, i’ll be right back,” you said, leaving to change into the clothes. while in the bathroom, you also put your hair up into a messy bun to throw off lando even more.

when you came back out, only lily was sitting there. “oscar went for some last minute meeting,” she explained, getting up so you could sit. “and lando and zak are on their way, so i’ll need to leave so he doesn’t think it’s you.”

“great, thanks so much, lily!” you pulled her into a hug. “catch you later?”

she nodded with a smile before turning and walking, leaving you alone. however, a minute or two later, you heard footsteps and voices behind you.

“lando, i need you to talk to one of our engineers real quick,” zak said, but you didn’t turn around. not yet.

“sure, what’s up?” you heard lando say before you turned around. you smiled as you saw your boyfriend’s jaw drop, rushing to hug you.

“i- what, how?” he sputtered. “i thought you were going to mercedes, baby.” you gave him a mischievous grin.

“it was all part of the plan, lan — wow that rhymed — i just didn’t tell you about mclaren,” you explained. “and then zak, oscar, and lily helped me distract you, which wasn’t a hard task.” lando sent you a pointed look before pecking your cheek.

“i’m so proud of you, y/n,” he beamed. “i’m beyond happy right now. wait, does this mean you can travel with me?”

“yeah.” you nodded, not prepared for when lando leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. as you felt him smiling, your own lips began to curve upwards too.

“alright, we get it, son,” zak commented, amusement on his face. “please don’t show too much pda, please.” lando gave him a salute, goofy grin on his face as his green eyes met yours.

“you have no idea how much this means to me, love,” he said softly, reaching for your hand. “and i’m so happy for you, and us.”

and so, your first day in f1 was a success.

.:*:.

it had been about a year since that eventful first day at mclaren, and you had enjoyed the ride since. now as you stood in the garage, watching as lando passed the chequered flag in first place for the first time, hand clapped over your mouth. you had left your usual spot with the telemetry to go stand next to his parents. cisca wrapped an arm around you as you cheered, headphones still on, while adam had tears in his eyes as he stared at the screen with pride.

it had been an eventful race. opening lap was chaos, with three cars retiring just from turn 1. after that, the sun started beating down on the track, making tyre degradation rather high and the heat affecting driver performance. places were being gained and lost constantly, and strategies were all over the place. despite all the drama on track, your boyfriend stayed level headed and calm as he lead the pack. of course he did. you had stood nervously to the left of will, glancing at the telemetry of the tyres.

lando was losing pace in the tyres, and fast. you could see the visible graining and the lap times increasing, and the gap to second place was shrinking quickly. he needed to pit before his tyres truly dropped off.

“i think we need to pit for mediums,” you had stated, earning a questioning glance from the race engineer. “we’re in the latter stages of the race, and if we pit, we’ll only drop one or two places, so then lando can use the faster tyre to overtake and then manage for the rest.”

you consulted a bit with the rest of strategy before telling will, who was now on board with the plan. the pit stop was smooth, the crew doing a wonderful job, and sure enough, lando was leading again after a couple of laps.

now, you were pulled out of your cheering and blissful state by zak. “y/n!” he called. “that was some amazing call. i think you should go on the podium.”

despite your heart leaping at the words, you pushed it down, shaking your head. “surely someone more important like will should go,” you stated, ignoring your temptation.

“how about we ask lando?” zak proposed with a sly grin, knowing damn well what your boyfriend would say. he turned on the radio, asking, “lando, who do you want on the podium with you today?”

“y/n,” he replied with no hesitation. “i mean obviously, thanks to the whole team for everything, but she’s the reason for my win today, and beyond that, she’s been my rock throughout everything.”

“well then,” zak said, turning to you with a smug expression. “i guess that’s settled.” you grinned back at him, unable to contain your excitement anymore.

rushing with the rest of the team, you waited by parc ferme, leaning against the metal barriers as the papaya car pulled up in front of the first place, flanked by a red bull and another mclaren.

lando took his time getting out of the car, letting it sink in. then, he got out, standing on top of his car, fist pumping and pointing a finger towards the sky. jumping off, he made his way to you first; he always found his way to you.

you pulled him in close, lifting up his visor and kissing his helmet. suddenly, lando reached up and took of his helmet, pulling you in for a real kiss. you felt the pride, elation, and everything with that kiss, sparkles tingling along your spine. “lando, baby,  i’m so fucking proud of you,” you said, eyes meeting his. “this is your moment to shine, and i’m so glad i’m here with you. i love you so much, lan.”

“i love you too, y/n.” he didn’t have to say it back with the way he was looking at you, but god, did it make the moment even better.

as lando was whisked away for the interview, you were ushered behind to get ready for the podium, where max and oscar were already waiting.

“y/n!” oscar smiled. “you’re going onto the podium? lando’s request?”

“yep,” you nodded. “zak and lando insisted even though i said will or someone else should go.”

“you deserve to be here,” oscar protested, making you grin. “you’re our tyre engineer, after all.”

“thanks, oscar,” you responded. “congrats on the podium as well!” the aussie thanked you, but you hardly heard it was another person walked over.

“lan!” you exclaimed, rushing towards your boyfriend. you felt his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you towards him. “that’s my race winner!”

“thanks, love,” lando replied, and you would feel the vibrations in his chest. “it honestly feels so surreal and amazing.” just then, all of you were directed to start entering the podium, with oscar going first.

eventually, it was your turn, butterflies starting to flutter in your stomach. as you stepped out onto the podium in front of the crowd, your breath caught in your throat. it was absolutely breathtaking and so gorgeous. the cheers of the crowd and all the fans and team members were something else.

and then they called lando’s name. you cheered as he walked across, pumping a fist to the team before his eyes met yours. the british anthem started playing, and you felt your heart swell with pride and happiness as you watched your boyfriend smile and take in the moment. he noticed you watching and gave you a wink that left you blushing.

once the music was over and the trophies were handed out, lando grabbed the champagne bottle and smashed it against the podium, turning towards you and drenching you. you tried to fight back, but to no avail, laughing as you gave up.

after the little celebration, you and lando went behind the podium and cameras with the champagne and trophies in hand. you held out your bottle for him to clink. “to us,” lando stated.

“to you and your amazing win,” you corrected before taking a sip. afterwards, your gaze met your boyfriend’s and something made your heart skip a few beats. maybe it was the sparkle in his eyes, or the pride you felt, but you were just so overwhelmingly happy. 

“y’know, i’m so lucky,” you started. “to experience this with you and to be your girlfriend. i love you so, so much, lando.” as you smiled up at him, his expression almost melted your heart.

“i’m the lucky one, love,” lando protested, threading his fingers with yours. “you’re so amazing, kind, and always there for me. i think the stars aligned when they brought us together.”

you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. “i have to agree with you there, lan.”

[hollowtones]

Thoughts on mac n cheese with breadcrumbs on it?

My partner got these little fried balls full of mac & cheese for dinner today and we spent a solid 5 minutes trying to come up with a good balls joke to make. They all sucked. We took it very seriously and we failed.

The balls were OK

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

i was at work and i need to Lie Down lol im getting tingly feeling like every time i turn my head and also ive got that simultaneously hot and cold shit going on like. i need to make myself breaded mac n cheese balls (got them frozen highly recommend) and sit on the couch and watch my cat from hell or something until it stops feeling like the world is vibrating every time i turn my head lmao

[interstellarwizard2019]

Girl help! The CRK brain rot has compelled me to make some Cookie Ocs!

Yup, I had to do it. I couldn’t resist! So enjoy three nerdy goofballs and a potentially dead cookie princess!

🦋 Professor Cheese Ball Cookie:

“There’s a lot more to bugs than many cookies may think!”

Armed with an endless knowledge on insects, a jovial disposition, and a boundless curiosity that’s gotten her in trouble more than a few times, Cheese Ball Cookie prides herself in being Crispia’s finest Gastroentromologist! Her life goal is to inform the world about the greatness of insects, she’ll even have some crawl on her to prove how harmless they really are; Woe be upon anyone who stands close to her, she’ll sometimes have them crawl on other cookies to prove a point! She runs the Observatory-Conservatory along with her husband: Macaroni Cookie, together they do their best to educate the masses. Baked with a crunchy exterior and a soft interior, the Professor is always willing to give out maternal love to anyone who needs it. She makes sure to make everyone who she meets feel welcomed, cared for and will gladly cook up a hot meal, she’ll refuse to let anyone leave the table on an empty stomach! But underneath her happy demeanor she hides all of her worries and anxieties, Cheese Ball gets immediately on edge whenever someone starts to ask too many questions about her old home.

🌟 Professor Macaroni Cookie:

“The stars tell our stories and the cosmos predict our future!”

When staring at the night sky, a sudden feeling of awe will flush over anyone. The vastness of outer space sparks many questions about our own existence. Ever since he was baked, Macaroni Cookie looked up at the night sky with curiosity in his eyes, the endless mysteries it holds have captivated and sparked an insatiable desire to learn all its secrets. Macaroni spends his nights observing and analyzing every and all cosmic events, constellations, and planetary alignment; this cookie even has everyone’s birth charts memorized! He lives in the Observatory-Conservatory with his wife: Cheese Ball Cookie and together they do their very hardest to educate the masses, Macaroni Cookie’s over dramatic demeanor will always make any presentation a memorable experience for anyone! But watch out for his telescope, he carries it around all the time and won’t hesitate to bonk someone with it!

🦜 Mac N’ Cheese Cookie:

“I wonder what animals like to talk about…”

Baked from the squishiest macaroni and cheesiest cheese, Mac N’ Cheese is the jelly-apple of Cheese Ball and Macaroni’s eye! An infinite ball of energy, this cookie is always tagging along on adventures with his mama and papa. From the day he was baked, Mac has always had a fascination with animals from all walks of life, from great pretzel stick giraffes to a tiny gummy mouse; this cookie wants to learn all about them! But his favorite type of animal are birds, he often wishes he could fly just like them!

🧀 Princess Mozzarella Cookie:

“Sometimes I wonder: Does my existence really mean anything…?”

It is said that the day that Mozzarella arrived on earthbread, the sun shone brighter than it ever has before, the cheesebirds sang to her the sweetest of songs the moment she opened her eyes for the first time and Golden Cheese Cookie was the happiest she’s ever been. All of her kingdom’s hopes and dreams were placed onto her since childhood, burdening her with the expectations of an entire nation. At the queen’s behest, she followed her every wish without objection: arranged to wed the prince of a frozen citadel, be trained to be the guardian of her kingdom, and to one day put an end to the war between the moles and the cheesebirds. But as time went on her list of duties grew and Mozzarella grew more and more withdrawn as the years passed, ultimately culminating in her lashing out at her mother and fleeing the palace, never to be seen again. While it is not known what happened to the princess, its been theorized that she has crumbled at the hands of mole bandits. But whatever truly happened to her may forever remain a mystery…

[claimedcrossbows]

Served! Sanji x Fem!reader

Slight anime spoilers/foreshadowing.

This is OPLA Sanji though.

-

You were laid down in your quarters trying to keep the vomit down after you had been sick the entire night. Your head was killing you and you were simply not ready for whatever chaos was happening downstairs, but you had a kitchen to run, so you slowly got dressed, and slowly made your way downstairs to absolute anarchy.

“Y/n! We’re out of crawfish and it’s tonight's specials!” Your little sister says immediately approaching you.

“How did we run out of crawfish?” You groaned.

“Rasha forgot to order more and the nearest port ship is still a day away.” She explains frantically.

“Substitute it for lobster in the mac and cheese, and 86 the Crawfish Etouffe Balls.” You demanded hoarsely your vocal chords still fried from vomitting all night.

“Y/N are you okay? You look awful.” Your sister says looking at your haggard appearance and your overall sweaty pale face.

“Great, now go do as I told you, and make it quick rumor has it a critic is dining with us tonight!” You say the last part loud enough to attract your team of cooks attention.

“YES CHEF!” A chorus of voices ring out as you nod and all but wobble your way to the fridge for some much needed seltzer water.

Of all the days for one of the most known critics on the grandline to come pay your restaurant a visit it just had to be today when you could barely stand up right.

Fortunately for you you had a great team of chefs under your command as you watched them all hurry about prepping and making numerous dishes that looked about as masterful as could be.

You were by far one of the best restaurants on the grandline, your restaurant resided on a small beach in a lighthouse where many ships sailing by frequented your restaurant when they were in need of a good meal and conversation.

And you were no doubt one of best female chef’s the grand line had ever seen.

At just age 7 you had won your local cooking competition taking home a wonderful gift basket of exotic spices that had eventually lead you to your well known name of The Spice Queen.

You specialized in Cajun styled cooking, but you could cook just about anything in any style, you were well versed in cuisine having read numerous cookbooks throughout your life, you even knew quite a few special recipes to help revitalize sailors who were in need of more than just a flavorful meal.

Many pirates sought you out after large scaled battles that left them in tatters, if anyone asked any of those pirates what saved their lives and healed their wounds, they would name you.

Which is how you got your second name, as The Crock Pot Doc.

Yep, one taste of your special famous soup was said to cure a man on his death bed.

But none of that mattered if you couldn’t pull off a perfect dinner service tonight of all nights. You had to make sure this critic was absolutely blown away and you weren’t about to let a little food poisoning stop you.

So you chugged your seltzer water and began mincing and julienning veggies.

That was until a loud bang echoed throughout the entire lighthouse followed by a bunch of screaming and crying.

You quickly put down your knife and made it to the dining area where you absolutely could not believe your eyes at what had unfolded before you.

“WE NEED THE CROCK POT DOC, BRING THEM,PLEASE HURRY!” A man in a straw hat yellled looking around the room of patrons and chefs who had also exited the kitchen to see what was happening.

You stepped forward trying to process the sight before you, a group of pirates had barged into your restaurant all with desperate faces and who you could only assume was the captain carrying a orange haired woman who looked to be on the brink of death.

“I’m her, what the hell is going on??” You asked trying to wrap your head around this and the current state of your dining room that has been nearly destroyed by their barging in.

The straw hat man hastily made his way toward you carrying the woman with desperate eyes.

“I’m Monkey D. Luffy, and you have to save my friends life.” He said shakily but with a determination you could respect.

You laughed in disbelief, this man trashes your dining room on a special night and expects you to just save his friends life??

“And why would I do that?” You scoff looking at the state of the girl who looked worse than you felt.

“Because I’m the man who will be king of the pirates, and I promise I will pay you whatever you need and more if you save Nami’s life.” He says unwavering.

A few of your cooks scoff and laugh, “King of the pirates? This kid?” One of your cooks laughs.

You frown, “I don’t work for free, especially not when I have a important critic frequenting my restaurant tonight, there’s a doctor village not to far from here maybe a day’s travel at the Drum Kingdom-”

“She doesn’t have a day!” Luffy stresses.

Your frown deepens, your about to protest before a wave of nausea makes you wince. “Look I don’t have time for this I’m sorry but you need to leave-”

“Madam.” A voice behind this so called Captain Luffy rings out and you look past the kid and sees a tall blonde man in a black suit stepping forward, his face tense but gentle as he addressed you. “I understand your busy, but she will die if she doesn’t receive some kind of medical attention and I hear your not only one of the best cooks on these seas, but your cooking even rivals most medicines prescribed by doctors.” He says as he walks up to you.

“And you are?” You ask raising a skeptical brow.

“Sanji, The best cook in all of the east blue and maybe the world Mam’.” He says confidently as he shoots you a wink.

You immediately laugh, “Wow you have a lot of nerve to say that to my face.”

His face drops as he immediately shakes his head, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you I just-”

“Well you wouldn’t be a good cook if you weren’t cocky, so there must be some talent behind your words.” You say crossing your arms. “Your Sanji, Chef Zeff’s prodigy I assume.” You say watching his eyes widen.

A small smirk crosses his lips, “Ah, so you’ve heard of me madam?” He says flirtatiously.

“Yeah, I heard a flirty handsome chef trained by Chef Zeff himself has been making his name in the culinary world as one of the best chef’s out here.”

“Oh really?” He says his smile widening.

“Yeah, but it looks like they only got the flirty part right.” You smirk back watching his face drop.

“Sanji’s the best cook on the grandline!!” Luffy immediately defends.

“Yet he can’t make a healing dish?” You interject.

Luffy grunts in annoyance, “Look we don’t have time for this Nami’s dying will you help us or not!?” He shouts angrily.

“N-”

“You say a food critics coming tonight right?” Sanji suddenly says.

You turn to him and nod, “Yes and I need to get ready-”

“You look sick, how do you expect to impress a critic and you can barely stand up right?” He asks staring directly into your eyes.

“How the hell do you know i’m sick?” You questioned.

“I know when a lady’s suffering.” He says gently.

You didn’t know how to respond to that so you just let him continue.

“So how about a deal, I help lead your cooks tonight and pull off an exsquisit meal to impress the critic, and you in turn heal my friend?” He says.

“And what makes you think you can make any of my dishes East Blue Boy?” You challenge, honestly intrigued by the cockiness of this man.

“I’m a fast learner mam, just give me a sample of what needs to be cooked and i’ll make it.” He says.

You were about to deny this foolish request until the sounds of numerous peoples stomachs gurgling suddenly caught your attention.

“Uhhhggg, Chef Y/N we don’t feel so good.” One your top chefs say holding their stomachs.

“Neither do I.” Chef Rasha groans.

“Oh no..” Another chef groans running out the room and into the bathroom.

“I feel fine?” Your little sister says looking at you in disbelief as more and more chefs ran out the room in distress as you watched your customers quickly flee out the front door.

You couldn’t believe this..your entire staff had contracted food poisioning.

You look between Luffy and the dying woman and then back at Sanji as your stomach churned even more.

Uhg.

“Fine, but my little sister will be your sous chef, she’s basically the mini version of me so listen to her directly got it?” You say approaching the blonde man who’s flirtatious smile made its way back onto his face.

“Anything you say Madam-’ ”And please stop with the Madam, Call me Chef, Y/N.”

“Chef Y/n, beautiful name, fits a beautiful woman.” He says.

Your stomach churns again as you quickly grab your little sisters chef hat and proceed to heavily vomit directly into it.

“Wow Sanji, your flirting literally made her vomit.” A man says placing a pitiful hand on his shoulder.

“Shut it Usopp!” Sanji hisses. “I’m going to have my friends help me considering your now understaffed, is that okay?” He asks looking at your concerningly handing you a handkerchief from his suits pocket.

“Fine, but don’t let that one” You say pointing to luffy. “Anywhere near the food.” You say getting a strange vibe from the straw hat boy just from the way he was eyeing your customers abandoned plates of food they had left.

“Trust me, I wasn’t.” He admits.

“Fine its a deal.” You say reaching out your clammy shaky hand that he immediately picks up and kisses.

Your face contorts into disgust as you take your hand back, just who did you let in your kitchen??

-

Hey guys wanted to do a little Sanji One shot I think this will be a two parter but I thought it would be so cool if Sanji met another incredibly talented chef who just so happened to be a woman right before we meet Chopper at the Drum Kingdom arc!!

[sourholland]

based off of taylor swift’s song style

a/n → we are so back. here’s the official playlist for style 🩵 also there’s a dual pov moment in this ??? there’s been a few in this fic but it’s very deliberate this time and idk how to feel about it.

summary → he’s the quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of lake erie—but does he have the heart to match it? you’re the bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. it doesn’t take much to catch the eye of joe burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

warnings → strong language

word count → 3.3k

reblog and leave some comments if you enjoy!!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 5

After you and Joe had come close to being caught in his locker room, both of you decided it was best to make a swift exit plan that let you both make it to the parking lot unscathed and unsuspecting. You departed first, quickly turning the corner and leaving the hallway with your bag slung over your shoulder. Joe had in fact kept your panties, taunting you for a minute and motioning for you to attempt to grab them from him. Spooked by the disturbance, you only told him that he now owes you two pairs.

Joe left a few minutes after you, taking a completely different hallway out of the facility and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. He asked to see you before you’d split, so the fact that he knew he was going to follow you back to your apartment had seemingly put a bit of pep in his step. You watched him cross the large parking lot, waving at you and smiling in a way that left you shaking your head and laughing. He must have changed clothes before he walked out, adorning a pair of shorts and a black jacket overtop his white hoodie.

The drive was quiet, save for the few times Joe would purposefully begin to ride the ass of your car or honk like you had done something wrong. Funny, you bit back some amusement as you let the horn blare right back at him. He was unlike any guy you had been with in that aspect, his humor was genuine and never had anything to do with making you feel bad about yourself or to poke fun. His jokes never cut deep, which was rare in your few relationships thus far.

Joe parked beside you in your unit’s garage. His Porsche most definitely stood out amongst the line of cars, sleek and spotless as if he had just taken it through the car wash. Everything about him was so clean and prim and proper, it intimidated you now more than ever. A sudden feeling of insecurity washed over you, wondering if he was silently judging you and your life. You couldn’t help gazing down at the steering wheel, thinking endlessly about how much Joe really possessed in athleticism, riches, and looks compared to your ex-boyfriends.

Suddenly his knuckle wrapped against your window, “You got mac ‘n’ cheese up there? Tell me that doesn’t sound so good right now.”

You couldn’t help laughing at him, his so-casual words through the window that you rolled down. He leaned into your car, arms folded so his chin rested on them as he perched and tilted his head to the side. He looked inside of your car now, having never seen it. His legs were so long, you noted once again as you breathed another chuckle at his stature. He merely shook his head, waiting for a response about the food.

“I think I have the little Kraft cups. I might have some of the normal boxes, it might be Velvetta, though,” you watched as he gave you an eyeroll.

“You think one of those cups is gonna sustain me? I’m insulted,” he placed a hand on his heart and finally pulled his head out of the car. He opened the car door for you, motioning for you to step out with an outstretched hand for your bag. “I was practically inhaling those things at eight. You can’t seriously be full off one.”

“Excuse me, Joe. Not all of us are..” you spoke with booming amusement and sarcasm, prepared to give a dramatic reenactment as you approached the elevator. “The one, the only Joe Burrow! Heartthrob NFL quarterback, generous philanthropist, sexiest–”

“Ah okay, I see. Someone’s got jokes,” he interrupted, smiling ear to ear. “Please, don’t stop on my accord. What about me is so sexy?”

As you crossed the threshold and began upward in the elevator, you gave him a teasing smirk and noticed just how pink his cheeks had gotten at your comments. He was still holding your bag, bouncing up and down on his heels and occasionally glancing sidelong at you while you went up. The ride was a comfortable silence, simply peering at each other when the other was not looking in a sort of high school fashion.

Joe discarded his coat as he entered your freshly unlocked apartment, murmuring something about how he was sweating. You watched him curiously, tidying up and discarding some of the random things you and the girls had strewn around the apartment. He hadn’t ever been inside, he’d only picked you up when you went out for drinks. He definitely had no intention of masking his curiosity, he walked along the walls of your living room and noted each photo and piece of decor. He picked up a frame on the TV stand, it was a moment captured on film from your study abroad trip in Australia. His eyes scanned the photograph where you and Sydney were perched on pink beach towels, smiling drunkenly and wearing floppy hats for shade.

“What’s your life like?” He asked you, not a hint of hesitation in his question. “I know you’re a cheerleader, I know you’re going to school to become a teacher. What about all the other stuff, though?”

You paused and hummed, “I feel like my life might bore in comparison to yours.”  

“I highly doubt that, but tell me anyway.”

“I grew up in a pretty rural area in Massachusetts. I have an older brother, his name is Jack. My parents have been divorced for a few years, but they stuck it out until I moved out. For better or for worse,” you told him without maintaining much eye contact. “I’m really not trying to dump all of my childhood trauma on you, I promise.”

“Y/N, what are you talking about? I asked,” Joe said, reassuring you and noting how you fiddled with the strings of the knit throw blanket. “I want to know, I really do.”

His expression was genuine, his eyes serious and fixated solely on you. He had discarded his car keys and phone on a nearby countertop, giving you his full attention as you inhaled deeper and thought seriously about what you wished to tell him. He felt unreal, like something you had dreamed up and manifested into your living room. A part of you thought you should pinch yourself and look again, sure that he would have disappeared into thin air. No, you forced yourself out of the thought and made yourself see that he was just as real and tangible as you are. 

“We grew up pretty poor and just getting by. It was rough, those first few years especially, but we managed and eventually my mom and dad were able to save. They got into real estate later on and then investing, I’m grateful for all of it. I worked hard in school to help with scholarships and stuff so they wouldn’t be totally responsible for putting me through college,” the words flowed without much thought and he nodded, listening intently. “They weren’t happy. I knew it long before anyone mentioned divorce, but I was still pretty wrecked. I’m grateful, though. They gave me a great work ethic, you know just watching them build a better life for our family. I wouldn’t even live here without their help.”

“I can tell you’re a hard worker,” he was assessing you in your entirety. “Are you close with them? Your family, I mean.”

You stilled for a moment, thinking intently about the question. Joe was sitting across from you, elbows braced on his knees as he leaned into the conversation. His gaze was soft, gentle even. He wasn’t looking at you with pity, however. His expression was more of a mixture of understanding and concentration, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing.

“Not so much, no,” you answered. “But the love is still there. I just have a hard time expressing it to my family, I guess. If that makes any sense at all. With my friends, it always just comes so much easier. I’ve just always felt outside myself around my family, like they know nothing about me.”

“How does that make you feel?” 

“It’s just kind of how it's always been, I guess.”

Joe listened to you for ten more minutes, not protesting when you rose from the loveseat and seemed to want to change the subject to something more positive. Following you into the kitchen, he began to look through the cupboards for something to make. It didn’t take him long before finding the Kraft cups, turning around and showing you with an eye roll. He began rattling off the nutrition label, making you raise your phone to him with a hand over your mouth as you captured a short clip of his fully serious assessment.

He continued to sift through the materials of your kitchen, finding an actual box of mac ‘n’ cheese and beginning to look for your pots and pans. You silently extended a hand, letting him take the pot from you and start cooking. You walked over to the fridge, glancing around your options for drinks.

“So I have Celsius, milk, Titos, Capri Suns, and water,” you told him, cringing internally at the selection. 

“What flavor Capri Sun?” He asked, stirring the food in front of him.

“Looks like… strawberry kiwi.”

“Yeah, I’ll take one of those,” he looked over his shoulder at you. 

You both ate in front of the living room television, watching The Hunger Games underneath the throw blanket you had extended to him as soon as you sat down. He took it graciously, eating much faster and going back for a second helping before you’d finished even half of your bowl. You snickered softly, wondering the daily caloric intake of an NFL player and how much Joe had to eat to maintain his figure. 

Once you both finished eating, he followed you into your bathroom with his bag. He took his toothpaste and toothbrush out, the set you assumed was only for practice and games. You both stood in front of the mirror, brushing silently until Joe would make a face in the mirror. He took the lid of the mouthwash you had filled up, knocking it back just as you had. He stifled a laugh while you swished, pulling his phone out and taking a picture of you with your hands on your hips, eyes narrowed at him and mouth full of mouthwash.

Joe’s cold hand slid onto your upper thigh as you settled back into the couch. He pinched softly and you whacked his arm slightly harder, causing both of you to laugh as he threw his hands up in playful defense. You let him lean in as he mouthed the word ‘truce’, only to attack your middle and put you with your back on the couch. He hovered above you, pressing a chaste kiss to your neck and lips.

“Should I go?” Joe asked, looking down at his phone and realizing how late it is. 

“Do you want to go?” You asked him in one breath. 

The only light illuminating his face was from the movie playing in the background. Joe’s pupils were blown, his hair falling forward as he was still above you. His body pressed a fraction of his weight on you, both of your pulses pounding. He let himself think about the question, humming lowly and taking in the visual before him once again.

“I never want to go,” he said, half-joking with a smirk. “You tell me. I have to be at the facility to watch film at eight, I’ll be gone before you wake up. It’ll be like I was never here. ”

Is that what he wants? The question wracked your brain as you sat contemplating how casual this was for him. His flattery sometimes felt so real, like more than foreplay or meaningless flirting. There was always the undertone of what was wrong with you two being tangled up in the same blanket, though. Joe couldn’t bring you on a real date, you would never be able to show anyone the video from the kitchen–why shouldn’t this be casual to him? He likes you, perhaps. But how can you expect him to want to tiptoe around each other’s jobs?

“Okay, yeah,” the words came out more breathy than you intended. “Sounds good to me.”

Joe studied your dimly lit face, “Everything alright?” 

You told yourself not to be that same girl you were at the bar, the one you could only assume he viewed as a psychotic bitch. A part of you was willing yourself to shove down some of those strong feelings for him, giving him a soft smile and nodding. He relaxed a bit, letting you turn in his arms and watch the movie with your back to his chest.

It was only about ten minutes before you heard the sounds of his soft snores, one arm tucked underneath his head and the other firm around your chest. His breathing was deep and steady, occasionally pulling you into him further. After a few minutes, you grabbed your phone off of the coffee table and turned your camera front-facing, making sure the flash was off and snapping a picture to send to your group chat with the girls.

Sydney: Oh. My. GOD.

Sydney: I’m actually throwing up rn what the fuck 

Sydney: LOOK HOW BIG HIS HAND IS

Lena: I’m freaking the fuck out omg

Lena: I’m so jealous

Lena: He’s so 

Sydney: He’s fine as fuck

Y/N: IKR

Y/N: I think I’m obsessed 

Sydney: Girl wbk that

Sydney: Be fucking for real

Y/N: I simply do not think I will be making it to class on Monday

Lena: That’s three days away

Y/N: Ugh Ik

Y/N: Last first day of classes! 

Y/N: I’ll call you guys tomorrow and debrief

Both of them hearted the message, sending their goodnight texts and equally dirty messages about you and Joe sleeping together. You flipped the TV off and let yourself lean into his arms a bit further, inhaling his scent of high end cologne and mint. He held onto you protectively, caging you into his embrace and brushing his nose against your hair. You slowly let yourself drift to the sound of his breaths.

⋆------------⋆

Joe woke up around six, he felt you pressing into him and against him first. His neck was stiff, wishing he’d have made it to your bed last night. He couldn’t recall falling asleep, assuming he had knocked out while you both watched the movie. He inhaled the scent of your shampoo, closing his eyes for a few moments and allowing himself to linger between that sweet spot of sleep and consciousness.

He savored the few moments of domesticity, wondering what it would be like to wake up in bed next to the other. Everything about you was so intoxicating, he had never been much of a risk taker before. He would have never risked bringing you into the locker room if he was in a completely sane state of mind. He thought of you with such desperation and yearning that he simply couldn’t have cared less about what anyone had to say about it.

Joe knew this made him selfish, made him irresponsible, and that was the worst part. He knew and he didn’t give a shit, he couldn’t stay away from you. Not that he had really tried, but he also lacked the desire to. Being around you was bad for him, Joe thought as he watched you sleep soundlessly beside him. You cause him to completely lose control of who he is and yet he cannot seem to stay away. 

Slipping out from behind you without waking you was difficult, but he managed to get out over the back of the couch and readjust the blanket to cover you. Joe walked around, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on whilst also cleaning up a bit and helping with the dishes he helped dirty. He came up with the idea to leave a note, leaving him looking around your kitchen for materials, shaking off his damp hands and pulling his sleeves back down. He found a notepad and pen easily, but stared blankly at the sheet. Is leaving a note too much? He had a hard time reading your attitude towards certain things, he had tried to get you to stay for breakfast and you flat out refused him. Perhaps it was better to adhere to what was agreed on, it would be like he was never there.

After a few seconds of contemplation, Joe sighed and set the pen down. He left quietly after brushing a hand over your head once more, shutting the door softly behind him so as not to wake you up. 

⋆------------⋆

When you rolled over to grab your phone, Joe was already long gone and his spot beside you had now gone cold. Yawning, you sat up and padded to the bathroom to pee and contemplate everything that had gone on during the previous night. At first glance, you assumed Joe had tidied up the strewn pillows on the living room floor and moved your phone to the coffee table. 

Once you made it into the kitchen, you realized he had washed the dishes that had been used and pulled out a sheet of paper. There was nothing written on it, pen sitting idly by as if he planned to write something for you to wake up to. Casual, you reminded yourself. Both of you had agreed on casual. 

The run you went on this morning was particularly long, headphones blaring as you pushed yourself further and further away from your complex. Thoughts of cheerleading and Joe weighed on your mind heavily, his head between your thighs the night before most certainly did not make it any easier for you to focus on controlling your breathing. Casual felt like a punishment, especially in this case. He couldn’t have felt a fraction of how you did, your thoughts occupied constantly with the sight of his unruly hair and large hands on your body. He was making you crazy, the way he touched you was genuinely driving you into insanity. Much less the fact that you risked your spot on the team each time you answered at his beck and call. 

Your phone began to ring, Lena’s caller ID popping up. You answered, sweat coating you like a layer of oil.

“Don’t freak out.”

“Freak out?” I heaved, taking a long sip of water. “Why would I freak out?”

“There’s a picture of you and Joe on Twitter. You can’t see your face at all and you’re at a red light, all you can see is him and some of your hair,” she informed you, cautiously attempting to keep your anxiety at bay. “It’s days old, but it popped up on my timeline just now and it has a few thousand likes.”

She sent you a screenshot, fingers shaking as you opened up your texts and tapped on the picture. It was a photo from the first night you’d gone to get food, a sneaky snapshot at a redlight when your window was half down. Thankfully, only your shoulders and the back of your head was visible under the light that made the color of your hair hard to detect. Joe was looking over at you, smiling with one hand occupied by the half-gone milkshake. 

Feeling like the wind was knocked out of you, you silently copied the image and sent it to Joe. 

“I feel like I should end things with him officially,” was all you said to Lena. “He wants casual and I’m not sure this is worth casual.”

lmk to be added to the taglist!

taglist - @humannoodlesoup @nikkisimps @teasandcrumpets @chmpgnnlace @hummusxx @rivivie @madsblogsstuff @nngkay @raeofsunshine629 @siutforjjmaybank @alternativemadchen @ryiamarie @ohreggieboy @coldheartedmar @obsessed-fan-alert @buckystwilight @dessxoxsworld @manic-pixie-bitch2 @hallecarey1 @heyitskay-21 @joselyn001 @stylesyourmine @toterry @countryday @adventuremood @blu3jeanbaby @sriusun @mikeyspinkcup @kittyhorror777 @riverdalexvixens @hornyforherbert @tomriddlesenchantress @nhlbabes @unsaidjaelinrose @joselyn001 @littlelou22 @harryweeniee

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs take Y/N to a nearby carnival in the badlands

WARNING: Chaos ensues. Why the fuck would you take them anywhere?

Scout:

- He’s fine with this. He used to love going to carnivals. It was all him and his family could afford on weekends.

- You’re somewhat bothered by the heat but he’s resilient as fuck. “You want me to grab you some water, babe?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer. Returns in fucking milliseconds with water. You don’t know how he’s so damn fast.

- Sits on the fariswheel with you, he had planned this to be super romantic but he feels awkward. He tries to lighten the mood by standing up in the car and whacking his ball into the poor crowd of people. “Watch this. This is for you, babe.” The sandman ball hits a guy in the face and probably kills him. You’re pretty convinced he’s not alive anymore. “Home run!” He calls out. “Woooo!”

———————————————————-

Solider:

- EXCITED. EXCITED. EXCITED. If he were a dog he’d be wagging his tail. For all the wrong reasons. You know full well you’re in for a ride. It’s not a thrill ride.

- He takes the shooting games way too seriously. Gets mad when he doesn’t get the plush toy prize and pulls out his actual stock rocket launcher to rely on pure splash damage. (Where the fuck did he even hide that?) They’re forced to hand him his prize in fear for their lives.

- If you lose a game, he beats the shit out of the person running the stall. He insists it’s their fault and the game was rigged. Your shot is flawless.

- You leave him alone for TWO SECONDS and he’s already harassing a random bird on the fence he believes to be a Russian drone. Children are staring at him. You can’t take this man anywhere.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- He’s not used to this. He went to the Highland games as a kid. Never really had a carnival around his village. He experiences a bit of awe and intrigue as you walk the streets with him. He’s still in his vest and the people of Tuefort are heckling him. They know he’s one of those annoying mercenaries. He thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- He hates the food though. Eugh. He discovers pretty quickly he has a dislike for fried chicken. Insults America’s tastes to hell and back. Almost fucking vomits when he tastes the mac and cheese. What the fucking hell is wrong with you people?

- “Err.. Dontae think those rides are a bit dangerous?” He asks, jutting his thumb behind him. He doesn’t notice the kiddy rollercoaster breaking into pieces behind him followed by screaming families. He’s probably too used to that sound to process it coherently.

- Suspiciously eyes the men setting up the fireworks for tonight. He glares at them while sipping the cheap alcohol he begrudgingly bought at one of the food stalls. Nitpicks them for setting them up wrong. He sets them up himself but the fireworks nearly kill everyone. Turns out he made them more efficient. By that I mean deathly. “No, sweetheart. they’re FIREWORKS. FIREWORKS.” you tell his drunken stupid ass.

—————————————————————

Engineer:

- Oh fuck he’s excited. He had good memories going to carnivals as a kid. Eats like a fucking beast and doesn’t hold back. You watch this man consume more than his own body weight.

- Goes straight to the mechanical bull. Asks you to hold his cowboy hat he wore on the way here. “Sit back and let a big man like me show you how it’s done, darlin.” He doesn’t even fall off once. It looks like he’s barely even moving. He stands up on the fucking bull and flips off the last guy who ate shit on it. Embarrassing him in front of his kids.

- As you’d suspect he’s sort of insulting the lack of regular maintenance on the rides. Whilst in line for the Zipper he shakes his head like a disappointed father and scraps the rusted paint off the ride with his glove. Crushing it to dust between his fingers. Shakes his head some more and sighs.

- Congratulations. The state of these rides have broken this poor man. He can’t take it anymore. Take him to the petting zoo with the farm animals right now before he suffers a brain hemorrhage.

———————————————————————

Heavy:

- “What did little baby say about carnival?”

- He’s heard of carnivals in plenty of books but his life of isolation has prevented him from ever experiencing such a thing. The concept is almost alien.

- Well, he goes with you and he hates it. He looks like an incredibly discontent kitten the entire time. As you ride with him in all the kiddy rides, he looks even more pissed as he just so happens to break one of the rides upon sitting in it. The consequences of being a giant mass of muscle are truly unfortunate on this day.

- His face brightens up a little bit as you buy him a footlong sandwich. He’s never seen a sandwich this big before. He eats the entire thing within’ minutes.

- Finally you find a place in the carnival he somewhat enjoys but pretends not to. He hits the high striker so hard the bell fucking breaks and goes flying. He complains that this game is too easy — until he’s handed a cute little toy bunny of course. “I have been gifted rabbit?”

- Everybody is now batshit afraid of him.

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bouncing in the car the entire way there. Miss Pauling had to drive you two there because Pyro doesn’t own a vehicle. She sighs in exasperation and asks pyro to“please quiet down, sweetie. Pauling is thinking.”

- You have a massive dog jumping off the walls of the car right now. They can’t sit still. Pauling is miserable. In other words, water is wet.

- Once she drops you off she makes you both swear to not catch anything on fire. It’s bad for business and doesn’t give them a good look. Pyro has no intentions of listening to her and heads straight for the fire eating performance. In their point of view; these people are somehow consuming rainbows.

- They do all sorts of things with you. Allowing you to lead the way to any attraction you felt drawn to. Whether it be trying to get dolls or getting on a ride. They seemingly want to do as much as possible before the sun goes down.

- after you tell them it’s late, they groan in despair but nod obediently. Prioritizing your guys’ shitty adulthood of work was sadly something that had to be done. They held your hand on the way back. Carrying a shit load of plush dolls in the other massive glove.

- “Did you two have fun?” Miss Pauling asks, you swear she puts on a motherly voice just for pyro. He excitedly claps his hands and agrees with her. She blinks though and sees the chaos behind you. You trace her gaze with confusion, wondering what she was gawking at. For some reason the entire carnival was on fire and you didn’t even notice on your way out that it spread to pretty much every corner.

- You both look back at Pyro. They’re holding a match. Of fucking course. Miss Pauling rubs her face. “I’ll call the firemen..” She sighs in defeat.

————————————————————-

Sniper:

- “Carnivals are stupid.” He says, a lit cigarette between his teeth. “Jus’ mediocre entertainment. Not even good. Believe it or not I have standards for my own personal pleasure as well. I’m not going to some stupid thick headed colonel sanders’ freakshow to eat hot grease n’ Emu legs.” You have to correct him that it’s technically turkey legs. “Whatevea mate.”

- You somehow manage to convince him anyway. But he was doing this only for you. He growls as you drag him by the hand onto the carnival grounds. Wishing he was back in bed. He glares at everybody who even dares breathe in his direction.

- He likes the farm animals well enough but quickly diverts his attention away in slight intrigue upon seeing the shooting gallery. You are thrilled and BEG him to win a prize for you. “There’s no way in hell i’m doing that, love.” You want to see this guy in action and the look of shock upon everybody’s faces as Sniper beats multiple children.

- Well.. Okay. But only because you keep inflating his ego with your compliments. He goes up, gives the person in charge his money, and brings the scope to his eye. Multiple kids are in the gallery next to him and missing every single shot on the fake cardboard animals. He mutters an insult to their ineptitude. He doesn’t even have to look to know they didn’t land a shot.

- Sniper takes down literally all the targets within’ seconds. Including the ones that the poor children were shooting at. Every. single. cardboard animal.

- The person running the stall begrudgingly gives him the biggest teddy bear they have. The Teddy bear that multiple families present were wanting to get in the first place. Kids are complaining and parents are complaining. Life’s suddenly great. Sniper looks amused at the amount of attention and cracks a smile at you. He wonders how you knew this would make him happy.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- “Ack! what complete nonsense! I am far too busy of a man for such boyish games!” He acts dramatic about it. Crossing his arms and turning up his nose.

- “Yeah but— what if somebody dies on the broken ass rides? That’s like free organs right there.” You say.

- “Hoo. Well, you do have a point. Alright! I’m convinced. But only this once.”

- Medic is actually rather terrible at the gun related games. He can’t aim precisely. At one point you found a crossbow related game and he held his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Realizing he had managed to hit everywhere but the desired target. You joke that hey— at least a life isn’t on the line this time. He passive aggressively slaps you over the head lightly with his glove and moves to the next game.

- You go to the bathroom and come back to see him dragging a bloodied dead body into his car. “Ah, I’d explain but it’s a rather long story!” he says enthusiastically. Accidentally holding up his equally bloodied ubersaw, and then immediately hiding it behind his back.

- He won’t go on the rides. He’s bold and brash but he isn’t an idiot. He knows full well those things aren’t structurally sound. He stands up tall in his usual thinking pose. A finger to his chin as he takes in the sight of the rides. “What are you thinking?” You ask him. He grins at you. That disgusting, devilish, i’m-making-an-evil-plan grin. You are now scared.

- He steals an entire fucking carnival ride for less than moral medical purposes. The ENTIRE FUCKING THING is in the back of his car and the car is chugging along. Wheezing and trying to get this thing back to the base. He’s going to break it apart and sow the parts onto a Frankenstein-like creature.

_________________________________________

Spy:

- Mother of god, can’t you guys go on a more relaxing date? One with less screaming, noisy music, and people? What about a nice five star restaurant? Or the park?

- He refuses to eat any of the food. At all. He’d rather starve in a ditch than eat such filth. Not even bothering with the alcohol. He avoids people like the plague and you’ll turn to ask him a question and WHOOOOSH! he won’t even be there until you reach your hand out and blink his invis watch by poking him. “Stop cloaking, pussy.”

- He literally begs you to choose another place. PLEASE. End his suffering. You swear you’ll find something here he enjoys though.

- You were standing in line for a ride and once you got to the front he had stepped out of line and said “Oh! after you.” In typical gentlemen fashion. Letting you go on the entire ride by yourself. You glare at him from the ride and he’s smirking mischievously. Waving his fingers to greet you.

- For the rest of the night he takes it upon himself to mess with you. You offer him some cotton candy and he hands it to a little boy in a stroller instead while nobody was looking. You saw that in the corner of your eye. “Im not fucking blind, Spy.” You say. He puts his hands behind his back innocently. “Oh, what? I consumed the wretched morsel like you asked!” “No, you didn’t Spy.”