#pyro x reader

[miintsprigz]

Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)

This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.

But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.

Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.

VERY LONG POST INCOMING

Scout

• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.

• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”

•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.

•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.

• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…

•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?

• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”

•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”

•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)

Pyro

•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.

•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.

•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.

•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.

•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.

•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.

•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.

•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.

•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.

•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.

• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.

• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.

•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.

•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.

Heavy

•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.

•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.

•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.

•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.

•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!

• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.

•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.

•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.

•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”

Demoman

•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.

•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.

•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”

•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”

•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.

•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.

•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?

•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”

•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.

•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”

Engineer

•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.

•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.

•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.

•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.

•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.

•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.

•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.

•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.

•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.

•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”

•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”

•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”

Soldier

•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.

•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.

•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.

•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”

•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.

•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.

•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”

•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”

•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.

•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?

•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”

•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”

Sniper

•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.

•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.

•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.

•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.

•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”

•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.

•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.

•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.

•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.

•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”

Medic

•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”

•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.

•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”

•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.

•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.

•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”

•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”

•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”

•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.

•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”

•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.

Spy

•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.

•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.

•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.

•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.

•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”

•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”

•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.

•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.

•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…

•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.

•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.

•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.

•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.

•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”

•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j

•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.

•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.

•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”

AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.

I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.

If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.

The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)

WARNING: severe amounts of simping

Scout:

- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HE’S BROKKEEENNN

- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.

- You’re confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesn’t react.

- In his head he’s already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in people’s heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?

- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. He’s batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a “SPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!” as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.

———————————————————————-

Soldier:

“NOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLY— Oh.. Ah..” Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demoman’s sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?

- Because on one hand, you’re impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand that’s HIS THING. NOT YOURS! He’s one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.

- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)

- “Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” You ask him afterwards. “NEGATIVE. THAT’S A ROCKET. I ran out of room.” He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something he’d do.

———————————————————————-

Demoman:

- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. He’s both offended, and slightly attracted. You’ve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody — among other things.

- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, he’s scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and he’s old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesn’t make him any less disoriented though.

- “Ay.. finally somebody who’s on my level!” he calls after you. Promising he’ll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. He’s trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.

- Well, you’re tied. You’re both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.

———————————————————————-

Engineer:

- You distract him so much he doesn’t even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. You’ve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. “God. DANGIT.”

- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points… emphasis on tries. You’re his type AND you’re blood thirsty. He can’t help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.

- He can’t bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasn’t raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didn’t sound so weird out of context.

- Fuck it. Christian shame doesn’t beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. You’ve fucked him up.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy, i’m fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when to— Was zur Hölle?!” Medic complains, looking away from Heavy’s WAY too apparent hard on.

- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. He’s both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.

- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. It’s disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didn’t exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.

- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- You’re the same as them in their point of view. A ‘misunderstood’ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!

- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. You’ve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.

- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. “Hey. It’s alright. I got this.” You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. “What’s up?” You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.

- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few — for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.

- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering you’re the first person in a while who hasn’t fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.

- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. “Eyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.” He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.

- “As if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.” You talk back. “I do, actually.” He says, shrugging at your rage. He didn’t feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. “I could show ya if ya want.”

- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point it’s red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for god’s sake while you’re at it.

———————————————————————

Medic:

- Uhm.. Medic’s a little weird.

- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims it’s because they’re all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.

- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He can’t focus after what he’s seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god he’s gross. God, just shut up.

- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, he’s just incredibly horny. “Archimedes.” Medic said breathlessly. “I do believe i’m moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..” He sort of laughs nervously.

- Coooo. Brrr.

- “Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.” His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. “Every time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.” He says, darkly. What he doesn’t know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him — with your consent — it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.

————————————————————-

Spy:

- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesn’t waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy we’re talking about here. He’s a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.

- “That was some fine work out there.” He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. “Would you care to join me for a second?” He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because he’s something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.

- “I have a feeling—“ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didn’t sense any discomfort. “That we will enjoy each other’s company often, my pet.” He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.

- Dude is so fucking slick that you can’t resist him. He’s unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesn’t hold back. His knife is threatening your back and he’s atop you. “Shhh.”

- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.

[jar-of-something-else]

sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]

these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better

yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT

if ur under 16 please don't interact 👍🏻

afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though

obviously this is under a cut

warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry

mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones

Scout:

-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters

-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit

-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal

-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)

-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)

-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him

-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY

-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close

-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔

-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in

-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit

-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will

Soldier:

-good GAWD

-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay

-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance

-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad

-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really

-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it

-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)

-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another

-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here

-very attracted to body hair bc i say so

-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands

-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao

Pyro:

-man,,,,

-obviously into temperature and wax play

-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊

-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body

-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned

-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names

-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad

-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end

-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔

Demo:

-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍

-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy

-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink

-is also open to a threesome with soldier

-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!

-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"

-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say

-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)

-very much into face and thigh riding

-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time

-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!

-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴

-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer

-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed

Heavy:

-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄

-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content

-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)

-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice

-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"

-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild

-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear

-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!

-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)

-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his

-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more

-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh

-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!

Engineer:

-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍

-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage

-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast

-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week

-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you

-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo

-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE

-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present

-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him

-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will

-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)

-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his

MEDIC!

-the moment we've all been waiting for

-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean

-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell

-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you

-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!

-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you

-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom

-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves

-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here

-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you

-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace

Sniper:

-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.

-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers

-absolutely into knife play come on

-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest

-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love

-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too

-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys

-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc

-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl

-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days

Spy:

-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover

-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself

-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation

-also has a daddy kink let's get real here

-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!

-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him

-likes buying you lingerie

-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️

-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]

-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄

-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

sleeping w/ the mercs [NOT LIKE THAT]

sorry the formatting is shit i made this on mobile 🫤

shitty headcanons abt the mercs rooms and ur guys’ sleeping arrangements hope u enjoy like and subscribe it’s rly long so it’s under the cut

scout:

-very very messy room

-but like he knows where all his shit is so whatever works for him

-his mattress is on the floor bro 💔 just kidding but his bed frame is pretty low to the ground so it might as well be

-he’s got a smaller bed and a single blanket so you both are gonna be cuddling whether you wanted to or not

-surprisingly soft sheets, he stole some of spy’s fancy silk ones so it’s pleasant

-always has a fan/AC unit going for the noise but his blanket is pretty thin so it’s colder than you’d probably prefer

-kicks a lot in his sleep so just be prepared 🤕

-doesn’t snore very loud but does drool a lot and he usually ends up laying his face on your chest/your head so you are gonna wake up a little soggy sorry 💔💔

-usually falls asleep around 11pm or midnight but does wake up at random hours of the early morning almost nightly before passing back out

-pretty much always wakes up before you, he goes on morning jogs everyday so if you’re up for it he’ll take you with him

-does like to surprise you with “breakfast” in bed (it’s dry cereal and a tiny carton of orange juice but he tried)

soldier:

-really REALLY plain room

-it’s a little eerie, everything is very clean and the walls are bare concrete bc the rooms at RED headquarters are basically prison cells

-the only decoration in his room is an american flag, his bedside table with a lamp and alarm clock and a little bald eagle stuffed animal the guys got him for christmas one year

-sleeps stiff as a board on his back so he isn’t the greatest cuddle buddy but will do so if you ask (he prefers spooning over anything else)

-he’s got a decently sized bed cause he’s a pretty big guy, so you’ve got room to move around

-his mattress is pretty hard though so it isn’t super comfortable but it’s better than the floor or some old military cot

-goes to bed at 10pm sharp every single night and wakes up at 5am for morning training and will try to get you to get up with him regardless of when you fell asleep

-if you don’t opt to get out of bed he does wake you up again with a plate of food (courtesy of engineer, soldier’s just the delivery guy)

pyro:

-probably the weirdest room out of everybody’s

-their bed is really nice, they’ve got a pillow top mattress and fuzzy blankets so it’s very soft but it’s overcrowded with some burnt looking stuffed animals and an insane amount of throw pillows

-the other decoration is really weird though don’t pay too much attention to it, it’s kinda creepy but it’s also pyro so 🤷🏻‍♀️

-doesn’t sleep in the flame-proof suit but they do sleep in onesie-esque pajamas

-doesn’t sleep in the mask either but they do use a sleeping mask and are usually face down in the pillows

-not the biggest cuddle person either but they aren’t above putting an arm around you or something similar

-always goes to sleep after you do and wakes up before you too

-they usually already have a cereal bar or some other sweet breakfast food on the nightside for you when you do wake up though

demo:

-THE MOST WELCOMING COZIEST ROOM THE IDEAL ROOMIE

-very warm, comforting room, he’s got a fuzzy rug put down and only uses lamps because the overhead light usually hurts his eye

-very large, very soft bed with warm blankets and soft pillows

-the pillows all have a faint smell of whiskey but whatever

-very much a cuddler, sober or not. he doesn’t move around much in his sleep and is a very heavy sleeper so once he’s out he’s out and you are stuck in that bed until he wakes up

-does snore but it isn’t obnoxious

-takes the eyepatch off and wears a bonnet to bed to protect his hair (he has multiple but his favorite one has his family’s tartan as the pattern)

-a night owl, he doesn’t get to sleep until 2-3am and usually wakes up the latest out of everybody (around 9-10am) and he will get pouty if you aren’t there when he wakes up

engineer:

-his room is basically an extension of his workshop, he’s got a desk crammed full of random bullshit and blueprints he hasn’t gotten around to testing yet

-doesn’t spend much time in his actual room, so aside from extra tools, spare parts and papers there isn’t much in there

-his bed is actually pretty comfortable but he hardly ever makes it out of his workshop before passing out for the night so he wouldn’t know 😒

-when he DOES go to bed in his room, he is a HUGE cuddler, he will not let you go under any circumstances

-does snore pretty loud but if you wake him up he’ll readjust himself so he snores less

-usually sleeps on his left side so you don’t accidentally roll onto his prosthetic hand and hurt yourself

-no matter what time he fell asleep the previous night, he always gets up at 6am and makes the team breakfast. he’ll let you sleep more while he’s cooking and surprise you with breakfast in bed (even though he does it everyday so it isn’t much of a surprise)

heavy:

-HUGE ASS BED

-like california king

-he’s obviously a big guy but he does move around a lot so he needs a bigger bed so he won’t fall off every night

-very very warm bedding, he brought most of his stuff from russia so it’s built to keep you warm

-has a little teddy bear his mother handmade for him when he was first born; it’s pretty worn and tattered but he brings it with him anywhere he lives

-does have a little padded box for sasha at the foot of his bed

-isn’t the biggest sleep cuddler but he does like to hold you beforehand. he doesn’t mind when you cuddle him in your sleep, though, so by all means pass out on his chest if you feel like it

-does some reading before he goes to sleep and is usually in bed by 9 or 10pm; wakes up at 5 every morning so soldier doesn’t have to do his morning routine alone

-likes waking you up around 7am so the two of you can have some light conversation with engie during breakfast

medic:

-sleeps on the operating table

-just kidding, but he usually ends up passing out on his desk rather than his room

-his room is very sterile; it kinda feels like a doctor’s office, it smells faintly of rubbing alcohol and is a little drafty so it’s usually pretty chilly

-has birdcages hanging from the ceiling, archimedes has a fancier one compared to the rest of his doves but he swears he isn’t playing favorites

-if you do manage to get him to leave the medbay he’s usually pretty delirious. he’s very affectionate when he’s tired so he’s definitely down for cuddling

-is kinda blind without his glasses so he keeps them on until the very last minute before he falls asleep

-likes to tell you stories of when he did have his medical license and when he lived in germany

-usually falls asleep with his back to you but when he wakes up he’s holding you to his chest

-usually wakes up at 5am as well and goes straight into taking care of his birds, he likes to whistle littles tunes to them so that may end up waking you as well

-almost never eats breakfast but he will be pestering you about it because he’s a hypocrite

sniper:

-well

-it’s a camper van

-it’s very cramped but he’s used to it just being him in there so he never really realized

-his bed folds up into the wall when he isn’t using it and he keeps his bedding folded next to it

-very used to living in much hotter climates, and even though it is new mexico it gets pretty cold at night so he’s usually shivering his ass off under a thin sheet

-is surprisingly clingy for someone so introverted and quiet, he claims it’s because you keep him warm but he’s also just a mushy guy in secret

-usually falls asleep watching some shitty DVD on his little portable dvd player he keeps on a counter next to his bed

-keeps his kukri hidden next to the mattress just in case

-very light sleeper and once he’s awake, he’s awake. poor guy barely ever gets any sleep because soldier is usually screaming outside the van 3 hours after he’s gotten to bed

-doesn’t eat breakfast, but he will make you a cup of coffee in the morning

spy:

-ugh

-bought all of his bedding and the mattress purely based on looks so it’s pretty surprising that it ended up being comfortable

-will not let anybody have their shoes on in his bedroom, you have to leave them in his smoking room if you wanna come in

-kinda like medic in the fact that he goes to bed not even looking at you but wakes up all over you. he is kind of an asshole about it being like “aw babe you literally think i’m irresistible even in your sleep” when HE’S the one that cuddled up to you

-keeps his butterfly knife under his pillow and a pistol in his bedside drawer

-always falls asleep after you and is always awake and out of bed by the time you get up

-he doesn’t eat engineer’s breakfast because he claims it’s “too filling and unhealthy to be eating that much as soon as you wake up” so he always makes a little french breakfast for himself

-he pretends like he doesn’t do anything for other people but he always makes a plate for you of whatever he makes himself and leaves it on his side of the bed with a cute little note for you

-will pretend like he has no idea what you’re talking about if you bring it up though

[aerowolf]

the mercs realize it's your bday and you didn't tell anyone because your family doesn't do birthdays

I’m so sorry this is a mess between British and American english. I have an American parent and a Canadian one so it messed me up lolll

if didn't include a Merc you wanted, feel free to request and I'll try and add them :]

includes: Miss Pauling & offense classes

cute platonic, gn!reader

warnings: n/a, this is basically all fluff

You'd rather not make a big deal of it being your birthday, even though it is you were taught that birthdays aren't a big deal and your family never really did them.

You kind of wish someone would care but you feel guilty about that so you choose not to tell anyone about it

The only one of these who actually knows it's your birthday is Miss Pauling, who’s seen your personnel files

Miss Pauling

She knows it's your birthday, and instead of ignoring it she decides to at least discreetly make it a good day for you

She arrives on base for a routine inspection, clipboard in hand, but once she's done with the main thing, instead of leaving, she comes to your room

"I saw that it's your birthday today. I don't know if you celebrate, or anything, but, uh, I thought you'd like a gift. Maybe."

She hands you a box, inside are some candy bars and a plush of a bear

"I know it's not exactly the nicest thing, and I know it's kinda... stereotypical... but, y'know, I thought you'd like something. So, happy birthday. From me.” She’s really shy about it, you get the feeling she didn’t--probably still doesn’t--really get to celebrate birthdays either. 

She offers you a ride on her motorbike, something nice, on the open road--away from this base for a little while. You accept, taking a seat behind her, enjoying the open air--though it is pretty hot out. You guys talk, just enjoying the time.

She smiles at you as you get back. “Happy birthday. You deserve it.”

You thank her and even give her a hug. It’s nice that you got this for once. 

Scout

He has no idea whatsoever that it’s your birthday. He’s interacting with you like usual, teasing you, just hanging out. You’re happy as you talk that day; he’s always good at making you laugh and smile.

At some point he notices that you’re a little down, as much as you may try to hide it, he can tell. You’re his friend, and even though he might act like he doesn’t care sometimes, you know he does. A lot.

You tell yourself you don’t want anything on your birthday, that it’s easier if no one knows, but secretly, you do.

“Hey, what’s up? C’mon, ya know I can tell when something’s wrong.” 

You tell him it’s nothing. 

“You sure? Really? You’re kinda… I dunno, sadder than usual.” After he asks a few times, you finally come out and tell him. You don’t say much. Just “It’s my birthday.”

“No kiddin’? Well, why didn’t ya tell me?” He comes off pretty strong. You feel kind of apologetic for mentioning it, and look away from him. “Aw, hey. Y’know what--it don’t matter. I’m gonna throw you a party like you ain’t never seen, believe me.”

You try to tell him you don’t want a party--well, you do. Maybe. No you don’t. Well, sure. But not a big one. He’s really sweet and enthusiastic about it. “Someone like you deserves a big birthday--but if you don’t want it, dat’s okay. Ya know, we could just hang out, or somethin’. You n’ me, yeah?” 

You tell him you’d like that a lot. You both find a quiet spot in the base where you can just talk. He messes around, too, and pops in a Tom Jones record. 

He’s a little shy, a little embarrassed, but he even sings happy birthday to you. He just seems glad no one can hear him. He doesn’t have a gift handy for you, but he ends up scribbling you a quick doodle of him telling you happy birthday. It’s misspelt, but the drawing is cute, and you keep it. “I hope ya had a good day. I’m just sorry I didn’t know sooner.” You tell him that it wasn’t his fault, how could he have known? 

After all is done, he gives you an awkward hug. You smile and return it.

Soldier

He’s a little crazy so he’s just hanging around base, today he had the idea to strip and cover himself in honey, so everyone has had to convince him to please not do that, and now he’s just moping around, muttering about how anti patriotic this all is.

You sit next to him and mope as well. Unlike him, no one knows the reason you’re moping. To anyone else’s point of view, you’re just comforting him--for whatever weird reason. But he sees that you’re just as sad as him.

“What’s wrong, maggot? Is there someone who needs to see my fists meet their face?”

You tell him no, no one did anything. You’re a little intimidated by him, and you don’t see much reason to tell him anyways. But it’s nice sitting with a friend. 

“If it’s not a person, then… it must be an object! Give it to me and I will destroy it immediately.” He’s being as sweet as he can, you smile and shake your head.

You sit there for a bit, smiling as you watch the other mercs come and go. Today isn’t a bad day, just a little sad. Later, you plan to find some kind of sweet treat to eat alone.

Soldier stands up, at attention, and points at you. “MAGGOT, AS YOUR SUPERIOR AND SENIOR, I ORDER YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG!”

With a sad smile and a chuckle you finally tell him.

“Your birthday?” Soldier seems genuinely surprised. He places a hand on his chin and thinks. “We cannot go without celebrating! This is momentous!”

Although you try to protest, he turns to the base, stating to every other merc, “LISTEN UP! IT IS Y/N’S BIRTHDAY AND WE WILL CELEBRATE!” 

He makes it his personal mission to decorate for a party that very evening, even gets a cake and everything. He makes every other merc sing happy birthday with him. Maybe this isn’t so bad.

You give him a big hug, and he is surprised at first, but proceeds to give a gentle laugh and hug back.

Pyro

You see Pyro colouring with crayons and coloured pencils on their break, and you sit by them. You don’t really understand what they’re saying a lot of the time, but you enjoy hanging out with them. It’s a long period of silence before you join them in colouring. Regardless of your artistic skills, they’re impressed and encourage you, and are very happy when you show them what you’ve been working on. 

After a little while you get kind of bored and sad. You’ve tried to enjoy this day but it’s another bittersweet birthday. You’re happy to hang out with Pyro though, even though they don’t know what day it is.

Pyro notices that you’ve stopped colouring with them, and that you’re looking at the ground instead, messing with the cracks in the floor.

“Huddah hrmmf mmmrph?” You don’t understand what they’re saying exactly, but you smile at them. They seem to be asking what’s wrong, why you stopped, why you seem so sad.

You hesitate for a moment before finally confessing. They seem to mostly understand what you mean, and they lean back, thinking. 

After a few seconds, they stand up and help pull you off the floor. They point to their room, and you follow them. It’s an odd combination of scorch marks, colourful drawings, weapons, and art supplies. They lead you to a wardrobe and pull out a box. 

Surprisingly, you can see that it's fully wrapped. Did they somehow know it was your birthday? Do they keep these gifts on hand for the mercs?

You won’t get an answer, but they excitedly push it out and offer it to you. “Huddah hmmph!” They sound almost like they are smiling behind the mask. You take the box and open it. It’s got crayons, pencils, and… wow, that’s a drawing of you and them.

You smile, almost ready to tear up, and thank them. You give them a hug, and you notice that they’re hugging you back even harder. Maybe they don’t really understand, but this is sweet.

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Mercs x Romantic M!Reader

Scout

Has never had anyone pull out the stops for him. He's the youngest of 7, his life has been full of hand-me-downs and overlooking.

When you hand him a bouquet of roses he actually fucking cries.

Dinner, a movie while holding hands, cuddling under the stars? God, he feels like a princess in a disney movie and you're his prince charming

Soldier

He's touched, really, he is! But has a hard time expressing it. He gives you a big ol' kiss and thanks you with a smile, but is lowkey pretty awkward when you offer to dance with him.

He looooved the homecooked dinner you made for him- after all, restaurants aren't really his scene. Course after course if just amazing!

Afterwards, you convince him to slowdance/cuddledance with you while whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He blushed so hard you can feel the heat on his cheeks.

Pyro

OH MY GOD??? ALL THIS FOR ME??? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Well, that's what you think they signed to you as they blubbered tearfully and hugged you. You decorated the recreation room with streamers of deep red and had a bowl of icecream to share while watching a movie!

Their favorite part is when you lit the streamers on fire, making a brief flaming heart.

Demoman

What's better than a roadtrip and sightseeing in a new place? You two snuck out and drove to Dallas for a long weekend out. It took you eons to convince the Administrator for a long weekend too, so it was extra heartfelt!

Big foods, big hats, and big inside jokes nobody else will understand, most of all- you take Demoman out to light fireworks in the desert. Big ones.

With all the clamoring to see the light show, Demoman is elated to kiss you in public with nobody noticing.

Engineer

Going to his favorite museum of engineering and listening to him talk is what Dell found most heartstopping. That dopey look of love as you listened intently had him in a chokehold.

Brushing the backs of your hands together feels more scandalous than holding your hand as you give him a teasing wink.

After, you cook his favorite meal? "Oh darlin', you're an angel."

Heavy

Doesn't know how to react at first, insisting he doesn't need to be spoiled. Then you pull out the handknitted mittens with bear paws on the inside and he's all the way on board to let you spoil him like a king.

You get a thank you kiss for everything you do, a promise to repay the favor later (;P) with every surprise you give him.

Oh boy does he, the more you love on Heavy, the more he loves on you.

Sniper

Survivalist camping with him over the weekend is how you win his heart. He sees you fishing at the crack of dawn and you just smile at him and hand him a pole. The comfortable silence has him blushing like a poppy.

Play wrestle this man. Play wrestle him and win. Pin this man to the ground with a playful yet exerting smile and he will never forget the moment until the day he does and then some. Then kiss him. Do it.

Spy

Ah, a nice restaurant where he doesn't have to worry about the bill, a gala where he doesn't have to assassinate anyone, and a handsome man he isn't obligated to sleep with for information- this is the perfect date!

He's quite the flirt as well, but as long as you can keep up with him, you'll win out in the end with your romance attack modifiers of the date on your side.

Dancing with him is a must, even if you're bad, it's still overwhelmingly charming to Spy.

Medic

YOU BOUGHT HIM NEW SYRINGES AFTER HIS OLD ONES SNAPPED???? AWWW YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!!!

Much like Spy, Medic loves a fancy dinner and dancing, but he likes the thrill of a mission to help digest his food. That's why you two break into the blood donation truck and take some especially weird samples of blood that you find.

While the police chase you, you two share a kiss. Be gay, do crime!

[rorichuu]

OMG HELLO!!! i see that u do tf2 and i’d love to request smth hehehehheheALSO ur account is so pretty what ?!?!

but i hope you’re well dude! can i request some relationship headcanons with some (or all!!) of the mercs pls? or any basic headcanons !!

take your time btw:)

the tf2 mercs in a relationship + headcanons

pairing: mercs x reader (gender not specified)

authors note: MY FIRST REQUEST WAAAHH also oml thank you, you’re so sweet :( some headcanons coming your way! ... also i apologize if they're ooc, this is my first time writing for them:'(

disclaimer: minor spoilers for the comic in heavy's!

Scout:

i’ll be honest, when scout found out Miss Pauling was a lesbian he was pretty beat up for a while

that was until he realized other people exist!

he literally follows u around like a puppy dog when he realizes he has a crush on you

ALWAYS TRYNA RIZZ YOU UP LIKE SCOUT PLEASE WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP BY THE ENEMY SOLDIER

his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation

and is ungodly touch starved

i can see him trying to find ways to touch you, and not in a sexual way... just either grazing your arm when he talks to you, or he stays shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you sit next to each other

he finds it very very comforting

and if you tell this man he looks very handsome or just occasional i love you's, he'll fold ong

his heart melts and he just wants to hold you till he can't anymore

but i think Miss Pauling and Scout would be pretty good buds after the whole "Scout constantly flirting with Miss Pauling" thing died down

and his confession was pretty cringey ngl

his crush on you was very evident so when he tries to ask you out, you say yes

(skipping down the halls with joy)

bisexual icon

Soldier:

oh man

this dude's flirting is... so hard to detect😭

but a lot of his attention is on you!

and makes a lot of exceptions for you

for someone who doesn't like loud noises and is very sensitive to outside stimuli, if you're like me and he notices it, he'll definitely find a way to be more quiet

like if you and the rest of the mercs are lined up and notices you're cowering or anxious asf, he's goes soft and let's you go

if you thank him or say you appreciate him for his efforts, his face is SO RED.

but he salutes you and said he was happy to do for a fellow compatriot

(his hearts beating so fast help him pls)

BUT if you're just as loud and upbeat as him/share his energy, he's in heaven

he loves that you like to blow shit up with him?!?! like omg this is my lover and i will marry them on this battlefield right now.

love languages is totally acts of service

like if you save this man from the enemy he's blushing so fucking hard like omg i love you

with his confession, it was straight forward and to the point (but he was beet red ... basically my hc on him is that he blushes very easily fhjrebjh)

also gender doesn't matter to him, he loves who he loves

Pyro:

HUBBA BUBBA

i love pyro sm :3

anyway

best lover!!!

gifts and quality time!!!

alwwaaaaaaays giving you gifts like omg all the time

your reaction is her FAVORITE

like they'll find a flower burnt to a crisp or a homemade corpse bracelet and he'll have the brightest aura

LOVES MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOU OMG!

jumping up and down if you give her something

like she's the happiest person in the world

bonus if you share a love for fire

campfires/bonfire dates!!

and you're probably the only one who understands him (alongside Engi, of course) so your conversations are endless!

and is suchhh a sweet tooth

such a soft and loving partner!

when pyro confesses (and you accept) he's leaping with joy quite literally

BIG HUG :)))

asexual royalty!!!

Demoman:

holy moly

VERY DRAMATIC WHEN HES DRUNK AND VERY CLINGY

which is a lot of the time cause yknow, very much alcoholic

but when he's sober he's pretty level headed NFJHBJ (comics for reference)

idk man he gives off best friend kinda lover

like he's always so hype and the best to be around

so when he found out he had a crush on you, he was pretty much head over heels

when he's drunk he's always holding you

hugs, kisses, hand holding, slumping on you

NAPS!

omg the best to nap with ong

BRO IS A FUCKING HEATER he's always so gd HOT

so if you're taking a nap with him don't get a blanket he's legit sprawled all over you

but it's kind of a different story when he's sober (he gives you your space but def rolls around in his sleep)

oh boy his confession was definitely when he was on his 100th drink

his confession was SO SLURRED

if you said yes he's over the moon

Heavy:

honestly, this man is a huge softy

and VERY protective.

have you seen him in the comics? he was 100% ready to kill a man over Medic's death (and just his natural protectiveness, like his family for example)

but dude his love language is for sure acts of service and physical touch

when he realized he had a crush on you, he always kinda stuck by you on the battlefield

even with the high of combat, his eye always finds youuu😭

i love heavy sm

and its quite obvious this man doesn't speak much, unless in his native tongue (which isn't often)

so even if he doesn't say anything, he'll for sure stand by you or take your hand

if you have anxiety, this man is SUCH a comfort

also you'd def be the one to confess

if you asked him out or asked to if you could be his partner, he is kinda shocked but is very very happy :)

lets you hold Sasha

no label, love is love

Engineer:

AUGRRHHRR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

i'm so deeply in love with this man omg someone sedate me

but anyway

is SO polite and is SO PATIENT

he absolutely adores it when you visit him when he's working

it gets lonely sometimes because he focuses best when the others aren't around (aside from pyro) ... but when he realized how much he loved your presence, he expected almost every day for you to visit him at least once

(gets bummed when you don't)

but if you have a genuine curiosity for what he does and what it means, he tells you ALL about it!!!

he understands it can be very confusing if you haven't studied engineering/computer science, etc... so he is more than happy to explain it to you :)

BARBEQUES!!

loves cooking for you and would sooo wear a "kiss the cook" or something cheesy like that (he finds it funny and hopes to get a smoochy)

quality time quality time quality time

and pet names

omg pet names

"love", "darlin'", "sweetheart", "buttercup"

HIS CONFESSION OMG

i can kinda see engi being a bit cheesy honestly

his confession would be pretty casual! he wasn't too stressed about asking you... and would probably slip the question in mid-convo !

rfhbrtgbj much love for this man

pansexual!

Medic:

I'll be honest here

his love is lowkey highkey possessive

but i think it'd either take a while for him to realize his feelings for you or would become attached VERY QUICKLY

there's zero in between

with his deep love and possession, he finds such deep fascination with your anatomy/body

not even sexually bro

he just thinks you're so incredible and puts u under a microscope

PHYSICAL TOUCH

this man hasn't felt the touch a person in years (aside from the mercs' checkups obviously)

and übercharge, if it was a love language

worships u ONG

loves to see you with such confidence when he activates the übercharge omfg

he thinks you're the most attractive thing he ever laid eyes on

confession? nah yall kinda just started dating; yall kinda just started happening

let me explain😭if someone was tryna ask you out, medic would be pretty quick to step in

uses his height to his advantage to let the person know what's up 😨

bisexual with a def male lean

Sniper:

at first you would definitely think sniper hates you

he wouldn't purposely avoid you, but he like spends zero personal time with you at first

he's always in his van and istg u wanna drag him out and force him to tolerate you

(and he'd probably find that very attractive if you did)

but if he found out he has feelings for you? oh boy oh boy

acts of service 🔛🔝

if you were in close combat with someone and you tripped, the enemy having the upper hand... you'd hear a sudden gunshot in the enemy's skull and a loud thud.

but before you could look up, he was nowhere to be found (you knew it was him and you were very appreciative)

if you brought it up to him OH MY GOD his face would be soooo red soso red

"Don't worry about it, mate..." HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT

the most bisexual man i have ever seen

Spy:

too suave for his own good dude

his love is very old-fashioned!

when spy finds his massive crush on you, is when he realizes the comfort of your presence

if you can have comfortable silence with spy is when he is totally connected/in love with you

smoking out the window/evening night conversations!

also when i tell you this man gets so flustered if you one-up him...

he'll wave it off and play it mad casual but on the inside he's malfunctioning

would definitely take you to the best, high-class restaurants and walks you home omg

HAND KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES

loves to spoil you holy shit

always buying you stuff (jewelry, clothes, shoes, personal things you like... he bought it already)

which btw love language is definitely gifting and quality time

def bisexual like cmon

.

.

.

rorichuu!

[pyan-ero]

what lingerie the TF2 mercs would buy you for valentines day! w/ scenarios+ headcanons. NSFW ahead ~

Scout!

- bought it the instant he saw it! he imagined you in it and couldn’t control himself, got hard instantly.

- isn’t too into pet-play, but calls you kitty, and pets you when you’re like this. likes it if you’re flustered, really enjoys seeing how you blush all over.

- it isn’t on you long, though, he prefers to see you completely naked, in nothing but a little collar beneath him. it makes him nervous, presented with someone so hot and submissive beneath him.

Soldier!

-what did you expect? it was fitted to your exact size, and he was adamant to the store to NOT use a real flag. the store charged him a lil’ extra for ‘not real flag’ material. he happily paid it.

- he becomes flustered and cannot move whenever he sees you in it. might pull at his collar and say you’re ravishing. will ask if he can touch you (usually treats you like property(with consent of course))

- is very, very gentle when he touches you. he kind of stares, trying to commit this sight perfectly to memory. the night will be very romantic, loving, in a way it hasn’t been before.

Pyro!

- was told that lacy, fitting lingerie was best for valentines day— by Spy, of course. He decided, no, and found this cute, adorable garment and decided that it would look best on you. He loves the pink, and the fabric, and bows!

- he would immediately start complimenting you, telling you that you’re so beautiful, and he’s so lucky to have you, and would just praise you. probably forgets he’s supposed to have sex, until you remind him.

- he is entirely focused on you, and your pleasure alone. you try and redirect him, but he’s so deadset on making you feel good that he won’t do anything else. mumbles praises in your neck the entire time.

Demoman!

- didn’t really plan, but bought it last-minute. It worked out, because he found this beautiful little garment and knew it would look magnificent on you. He knew it was the one!

- is immediately really grope-y, but in a really soft and nice way. he loves the thin, flowing material, and keeps it on the entire time. He can’t get enough of you.

- will eat you out, pushing the skirt up your hips and holding your thighs. you know he is a GOD when it comes to head. you will not get any rest.

Heavy!

- he was very ashamed to be shopping for lingerie, was flustered the entire time. He saw this, and imagined it on you, and immediately had to buy it.

- is silent whenever he sees you in this, but you can tell how he’s feeling through his eyes. total adoration, total love, total devotion. he realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, but obviously doesn’t say that then.

- He would gently touch you, and kiss you, and tell you how wonderful, sexy, amazing, intelligent etc you are…and hollllyyyy fuck are you about to be stretched!

Engineer!

- as a gentleman, he wants something very classic. something that you would love, but still feel comfortable both in and out of. might fashion it with a little white collar, or necklace with his insignia on it.

- he wants to dress you in it, so he takes his time. pulling your stockings, fastening them to the garter without and wrinkles. smooths the lace, the material. makes sure to get everything perfect. he steps back and looks at the completed ensemble, and my lord, do you look perfect.

- is hesitant to even have sex with you because of how amazing the set is. you’re like a doll, dressed to perfection and beauty, and to disrupt that? who would he be? but, he is still a man, and he has his needs. might want you to ride him so he can look at you the whole time.

Medic!

- even i, dear reader, am unaware of where Medic got the garment. even with my divine power, this is a mystery. Maybe, he just had it. and somehow it perfectly fit you. who knows…

- but holy fuck. the king for foreplay, he legitimately goes two hours without even touching you. he loves watching you bumble, all flustered, pretending to be a nurse with your ass hanging out. that latex, how it clings to your skin, and he can see how much you’re blushing?

- after those two hours, though… the examination table isn’t even broken, it just doesn’t exist anymore. it existed at the beginning of the night and now, it’s just gone. who knows what happened, other then that Medic sucked, fucked, and creampied you so hard that you know German dirty-talk more than your own name. Hope you’re on birth control!

Sniper!

- doesn’t really care for lingerie. he’s a simple man, with a simple plan, underwear and clothes get in the way of fucking you into next Sunday. This, however, taunted him. Easy to cut, isn’t it?

- Sniper loves the hunt, you love being hunted. it’s perfect :) running into the desert in this, and nothing but this? you’re a reward, and the way to get to the reward is to get you.

- it’s a really easy hunt, tbh. he gets you on the ground, and cuts through the garment like it’s nothing, and takes you, right there, in the wilderness. multiple rounds, too!

Spy!

- the most expensive lingerie out of the mercs, and he gets it months in advance, too. he’s a man who knows what he wants, and what he wants? to spoil you rotten. the only thing he expects in return is submission, and of course, you give it.

- he can play coy, act unamused when he sees you, but his mind is racing. thinking of every position, every sound you’ll make. everyone involving you, and he’ll abruptly stand, walk to you…

- and the night is a wonderful, pleasure filled blur. orgasms within the double-digits, soft music playing the entire time, the little jewels of your lingerie clanking…ah. Spy <3 he might even stay til morning just to ravish you again.

[chrisredfield73]

Could you do a reader who accidentally tells the tf2 mercs they're gay/queer in sexuality? With some angst from the reader because they're worried it'll affect how the mercs see them. And depending on the merc, some comfort?

This is a bit self-indulgent as I am a girl who likes girls, but it can be written for anyone

The reader is meant to be a teen so it's strictly platonic!

A/N: As a gay trans guy, I understand the angst and fear! Thank you for requesting!!

For Spy's part-

Mon chou means 'my cabbage' (weird term of endearment for kids but it's really sweet)

--------------------------------------------------------------

You let it slip, accidentally, but it immediately made you panic. You mentioned liking the same gender as you. The fear of not being accepted hit you like a tidal wave, as you stare wide eyed at the merc in front of you..

Scout:

He's surprised, to say the least.

He definitely makes a snarky and sarcastic joke, but he quickly shuts up when he notices your fear.

"Hey now.. Don't get all nervous on me."

He's pretty supportive overall, giving you some reassuring comments and a pat on the back.

"Listen.. I don't know how all the other guys would react, but I'm okay with it. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

He may make some hints about it to the others, but he doesn't go too far.

He also definitely would help you find a s/o and he would beg to hear who you like.

Soldier:

Now for this big himbo, it's a 50/50.

He either doesn't hear or get what you've said, or he heard it and he's judging you.

"What was that, maggot?"

If he didn't hear you or understand you, you could definitely play it off as a joke. He'd probably laugh it off with you, not even noticing how nervous you are.

If he heard you and is now judging you, he's staring at you through narrowed eyes. "You're queer?"

He's definitely not supportive... At first. You could probably, eventually, get him to come around and be supportive.

He has that mentality of, "I was raised thinking it was wrong so it's wrong."

Pyro:

When he heard you say that, it's completely obvious he supports you.

He gives you a thumbs up and a hug for reassurance.

"Mff mff mm mmff."

You're not sure what he just said, but you can tell it was something supportive by how he just acted.

He helps make sure you're comfortable, even giving you gifts that are discreet pride flag colors.

If any of the other guys catch wind about it, you can bet that Pyro will be there to stand up for you.

Demoman:

Another one of the guys that's 50/50 about it.

If he's drunk, he's either not going to act supportive, when he actually is, or he's not going to be paying attention to anything you just said. "What..?"

In the rare occasion that he's not drunk, he's very supportive and will give you a hug.

"Ey there, lass/lad, no need to worry. It's alright with me."

He is one of the supportive ones, despite being an idiot when he's drunk. He's proud of you for being yourself, even if you're not out to everyone.

Heavy:

He's shocked, looking over at you with wide eyes.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, before noticing your anxiousness.

He's not super supportive, but he's not going to judge you about your preferences.

"Heavy is not mad. Heavy is happy you're happy."

He gives you a pat and maybe even rubs your back, trying to help you feel better.

He won't tell anyone about it, he's the second best secret keeper on the team.

"Heavy won't tell anyone, Heavy pretends he never heard it."

Engineer:

He's caught off-guard, but he's supportive 100%.

"Oh? I never would've thought..."

He gives you a reassuring smile and hugs you gently.

"Don't worry, kid. I won't tell nobody. You have my word."

He's the first best secret keeper, and he's basically the supportive dad of the team.

He'll, much like Pyro, also get you discreet pride gifts to show he supports you and to make you feel better.

All in all, Engineer is the best to share things with, he's a calm and gentle soul who just wants to see you happy.

Medic:

He had his suspicions, he suspects a lot of things about a lot of people.

"Oh? You like women/men?"

He's pretty supportive, but he's not a very touchy person. He'd prefer to not have a ton of physical contact.

He gives you a quick rub on the back before pulling away.

"I'm not going to judge you, there are things far worse than not being straight."

He's not the best for comfort but he is, at least, mostly supportive.

Sniper:

He stops what he's doing and turns to look at you, his expression and emotion unreadable.

"You... You're what now?"

He notices you panicking and steps over to you, offering you a small smile.

He gently ruffles your hair and chuckles, "Easy now, roo. Calm down. I'm not judgin' ya, I'm just confused."

He's okay with you elaborating on your sexuality, and he's okay with you not talking about it anymore.

He's also good at not telling anyone about your sexuality, he prefers to keep to himself anyway.

Spy:

He let's out a low hum, raising a brow. He definitely didn't expect that.

"...Hmm?"

He's polite, not teasing you or making fun of you.

He doesn't really understand but he's not going to go out of his way to judge you or make fun of you.

"Don't worry, mon chou. I'm not going to judge you."

He sets down his cigarette in his ashtray and pulls you in for a hug.

He's one that doesn't like physical affection very much, but seeing you in slight distress makes him want to comfort you.

He almost thinks of you like his child, and he just wants to see you happy.

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: scout, medic, pyro, sniper, and spy

↳ warnings: talk of pain but nothing too in detail. specific area of pain is kept ambiguous for inclusiveness

↳ song: teenage dirtbag—dsiboys

masterlist!

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭

• Scout is honestly just bummed you won't be playing any baseball games with him anytime soon

• He strikes me as the type of guy to not take your illness as seriously as he should, often making pokes and jabs of you just wanting to get out of stuff, until he sees one of your bad days with his own eyes

• After that, he's so ashamed of himself for how he acted. Shuffling his feet and rubbing the back of his neck anxiously; all that jazz

• Is a lot more aware of your needs now

• Still puts up a front. Refuses to be anything sort of quote unquote 'manly', so expressing that he's worried about your wellbeing is hard to do in front of the others

• Does care about you, though. He might get teased for it— resulting in the tips of his ears turning red and a bunch of angry denial —but at the end of the day he'll offer up his prized comic books for you to read as a distraction

𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜

• Medic has undoubtedly noticed your condition far before you chose to tell him. How he had figured it out so quick, you had no idea, but he probably found out the same way he knew what your blood type was. Despite never having given him a sample

• It's a bit weird at first, having someone who constantly wants to do invasive surgery on your body actually offering to ease your pain.

• It is Medic after all. A small part of you had been nervously wondering if he would get some sort of sick joy out of watching you struggled to do basic tasks

• Instead, he was giving you special visitation hours with Archemedes while he tinkered with what he dubbed 'Your Problem Area'. Whether that was your knees or back or shoulders, a file on your condition quickly opened and the quickest course of action was taken to remedy it

• Gives you little suckers at the end of your visits and a big smile for a job well done

𝐏𝐲𝐫𝐨

• You aren't sure if they understand what you're saying when you first explain it

• To be fair, you can't decipher them on a normal basis, so this was expected

• But Pyro just tilts their head before letting out what sounded like a sniffling noise and bringing you into a bone crushing hug

• You wouldn't be able to tell, but in their own special Pyro Vision, the arsonist could occasionally see a painful red surrounding you anytime you felt like this. And it pained them to know you were hurting from something other than the scheduled battles

• Colors you crude little drawings with their box of crayons Engineer bought them. It often depicts you and them riding unicorns or jumping over rainbows. Always smiling and having fun

• Takes to plastering little cartoony bandaids over your skin. They don't really solve any actual pain, but the thought is still there

• Will make little fires for you and bring you to them happily. Normally, it's followed by Heavy or Engineer rushing over to put it out before it spread

𝐒𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

• On the off chance that he actually came out of his trailer, Sniper would be awkwardly helpful

• He most likey heard you talking to Medic or complaining to Spy about your chronic pain, and put two and two together

• Why you were shut up in your room durring mealtime somedays, constsntly seen walking in and out of the med bay, taking numerous amounts of pills in the morning, etc

• Is discreet in his care. It'll be little things, like telling Scout to 'lay off mate' if the Bostonian is hounding you about your lackluster performance that day; even if only as a joke

• If Sniper is lucky enough to bag some game on one of the ceasefire days, he'll approach your bedroom door and offer you a bit of the meat he cooked. Won't be offended if you're not up to it, just puts it in the fridge for later if you change your mind. Makes sure that the rest of the team knows it's for you, too

𝐒𝐩𝐲

• Spy is probably the most elegant of the team when acknowledging your condition

• If he's feeling nice when you approach him about it, he'll nod along to your small explanation and even indulge you if you choose to rant about it for a bit

• If he's not in a good mood, then just wait it out. It's not worth the wrath of an angry Frenchman for bothering him. Will become slightly less angered if you explain you were only there to share some vulnerability, however

• Tells you there's no shame in it. As an older man himself, he's no stranger to the pain that comes with this job

• Might allow you to crash in his smoking room a few times if your room is being overrun by the others. Spy knows that you won't pull any funny business on him, and god help anyone that tries to barge in in search of you (namely Scout)

• Content to sit in comfortable silence as you rest up and sleep away the pain. Spy might be a no-good lying back stabber, but at the end of the day, he's still a gentleman

[simp999]

hiii

I saw that you were taking requests for tf2 and I was wondering if you could you the moment the tf2 mercs realise that they enjoy reader being around? Maybe it can be seen as platonic or romantic? Like theyre just hanging out with reader and suddenly theyre like hmm. I enjoy your presence

Thank you if advance!!

Yay my first request!! This is the exact kind of thing I like to write www thank you for swinging by, and I hope you enjoy!! I may have gotten a little carried away-

The Moment the Mercs Realise They Enjoy Being Around Reader

Total wc: 2.3k

Mercs included: All

Masterlist

Scout: (slight angst, whoops)

-Enjoyed being around you since you first joined as a merc buuut

-The moment he realised he wanted to be around you more was when you gave him comfort.

-Sure, he's used to getting up to shenanigans with you on and off the battlefield, but this was a different side of him that nobody really got to see. 

-And you accepted it without a problem.

-One night, when most of the mercs were playing cards or off doing their own thing, you noticed that Scout wasn't with the main crowd. Usually, he was chomping away on junk food and teasing the others when they lost a round of cards (even though he lost quite often.)

-You excuse yourself from the table, and go check on him.

-Before you get the chance to knock, you can barely hear soft sniffles coming from his room.

-You gently knock on his door, and wait a decent amount of time before carefully opening the door.

-It seemed he hadn't heard the knock, or maybe tuned it out, but his first reaction was to turn away from you and hide his face with his hands.

-It hurt to see him like this. We all have those days, but you hated to see him fighting this on his own.

-You wordlessly went and sat near him on his bed, but not too close to cause any discomfort.

-When he finally tilted his head towards you, you could make out his red face and puffy eyes. You wanted nothing more than to swaddle and hug him, but comfort comes first.

-You lean towards him with your arms semi-open, welcoming him into a hug if he so chose.

-Without a second to lose, he barreled into you and let his tears fall freely.

-You did nothing but rub gentle circles over his back and offer a few soothing words here and there, letting him get it all out.

-You would have expected him to start talking about everything, being the talkative boy he is, but he did nothing but let the tears run for a while.

-Once he finally calmed from sobs to sniffles, you gave him a small kiss on his hairline.

-"You're still special, alright? Doesn't matter what you may have gone through, people will still love you."

-But the part that got him was the fact that you asked no questions. You didn't force him to open up. You always wanted him to feel comfortable, which was.. rare, for him, to say the least.

-That's when Jeremy realised that he felt safe and comfortable around you.

Soldier:

-The first time Soldier realised he enjoyed you being around was when you wouldn't roll your eyes or complain like the others.

-Of course, his drills sometimes got out of hand, but you never groaned or sounded annoyed about it.

-Rather, you would still state your thoughts, but you wouldn't be an ass about it.

-Specifically, the first day that Soldier had overworked the mercs while you were around. You noticed that some of them were looking a little woozy, and Scout seemed like he was about to pass out.

-You spoke up to him before he started the next drill.

-"With all due respect, Soldier, we can't become stronger if half of us are ready to pass out. We can take a break to regain our strength then…"

-He had completely tuned you out after that.

-He's never heard that from anyone before.

-"With all due respect."

-There was no malice in your tone, either.

-Soldier would never admit it, but he might go easier on you than others, now.

-Not to mention the fact that you weren't afraid to stand up to him, even within the first few days of barely knowing him. He tends to seem intimidating at first glance.

-Also, this stays between us, but the phrase "with all due respect" can mean no respect at all. 

-but Solly doesn't have to know that :)

Pyro:

-Our favorite Firebug always enjoyed having you around, that's a given when new mercs join!

-But the moment that they realised they wanted to be near you more was when you didn't baby them.

-You still treated them with respect, which was rare from most.

-Of course, you would still draw with them and make pillow forts and do things that were seen as childish, and you seemed to enjoy it, too!

-But one day, they wanted to help Engineer in the workshop with a project that was a little more difficult than usual.

-Engineer knows as well as we all do how... chaotic Pyro can be. But he didn't even give them a chance to try.

-You were working on a mini project of your own in the workshop and happened to hear the conversation.

-Then, you quipped with an idea.

-"What if we watched over them? As long as they don't do anything unsafe, then there's no problem with giving it a shot."

-You then looked over at them and seemed to catch on to their awestruck expression- even with the mask on, and gave them a big smile.

-You guided them through their project, helping them out when needed or asking Engie if you needed tips for something.

-Even when they were about to do something unsafe, you carefully explained why it was a bad idea. Not in a condescending way, either. Just a quick -"Woah, hey! Wrong tool for the job, Py. Let's ask Engie for the right one."

Heavy:

-The moment Heavy realised he enjoyed having you around was when he noticed the others being a little less stupid around the base.

-Which sounds pretty odd to say, but he's often the voice of reason, always telling the others to "Get off the counter!" And "Stop setting everything on fire!", and the usual "Stop eating Heavy's sandviches!"

-They began to not listen when he spoke, and he's been struggling with keeping them in check when the base needed it most lately.

-If he reaaaally wanted to, he could shut the whole base up with a loud "ENOUGH!!" That would reverberate through the walls, but it would only be followed by a quick "Uh-huh, try and make me," from Scout

-But you

-Oh, you.

-You didn't need a loud voice to scare them.

-Or big muscles.

-All you needed was to be great at making them feel guilt. Like a gentle parent lecturing their kid on their miserable grades.

-You're never angry, no,no. 

-Just disappointed.

-Scout ate one of heavy's sandviches when you first got there, and the longest record of parental scolding was broken right then and there.

-Never happened again, though!

Engineer:

-Engineer first realised that he enjoyed your presence when you showed an open mind, and willingness to learn.

-He'd had too many people come up to him over the years claim to want to watch what he's working on, only to constantly tell him he's not doing it right or not using the proper tool for the job

-Seriously gonna question the man with 11 PhDs? Yeah, I wouldn't.

-But the worst is when he has to be paired up with other men on the same job that never listened to his ideas or thought process.

-When you came along to his workshop and asked him if you could watch over and learn from him, he was hesitant. It's not like he had performance anxiety, he was definetly confident in his skill. But he wasn't sure if he could keep it together if he has one more PhD-less person confidently tell him he's doing something wrong.

-But, he was pleasantly surprised by your questions and actions. You always asked before touching anything, and listened intently when he explained stuff. You even left a while in, only to come back with lunch for the both of you so you could continue talking about his project.

-Even the one time you did think he may have done something wrong, you asked him to explain why he did it that way instead of another. 

Demoman:

-The moment Demo realised that he loved having you around, was when you cared for him when nobody else did.

-Everyone else was so used to him coming back to base extremely drunk, barely able to walk on his own.

-The most they'd do anymore is give him some pain meds then let him fend for himself, which usually left him waking up sore from falling asleep on the floor.

-But when you came along,, oh boy.

-He may not have remembered much, if any, of the night before, but he does know that he woke up all comfortable in bed, next to a plushie that had not been there before.

-He also noticed a glass of water and pain meds on his bedside table, and on the floor beside his bed, a bucket incase he felt sick.

-He couldn't figure out who could have done this for him, since he never really hung out with you since you became a merc.

-A few quick introductions and that was about it.

-But when he sat around the table playing poker with the guys and one of them slips the fact that you had slung his arm around your shoulder while carrying him to his room, and that you were the one to tuck him in, he may have felt embarrassment as well as butterflies.

Medic:

-Medic treated you as any other merc when you had first joined. Healing you if he could, and only really focusing on his own thing.

-But, when you started to hang around the base with the mercs to get more comfortable with everybody, that's when he noticed something.

-Your crude sense of humor.

-Sometimes even downright dark.

-It wasn't rare for you to crack a joke that had the others simply staring at you, some with a surprised look on their face, others seeming a little uncomfortable. Which is hard to do, coming from a team of killers.

-You didn't want anyone being uncomfortable around you though, so you toned it down.

-But, whenever you were with Medic, he would silently encourage it. He didn't really pay attention to the wide, almost creepy grins he'd give when you told an especially gory joke.

-They're not all bad, though! Some are just a little.. silly.

-The line that made Medic realise he enjoyed you little quips, was when Scout has given himself a paper cut.

-He immediately was frustrated with it, and had to announce it to the team right away. Without missing a beat, you immediately replied with; "Whoop, guess we gotta amputate."

-It was just so.. unexpected? He may have let out a small snort at that one.

Sniper:

-Sniper took a while. It's not like he's the first to go up to a new merc and ask to be friends, you know.

-Though, his moment of realisation came after you went out of your way to appreciate him, and slowly spend more time with him.

-You'd sit a comfortable distance away from him, and never forced small talk.

-You would always made sure to congratulate him on any especially nice shots,

-And eventually, you two had made it to the point of being almost comfortable enough for you to hang out in his Sniping nest.

-The reason I say almost, is because he still felt quite awkward having someone be in his space. He's just not used to it.

-But you weren't hovering over his shoulder, you simply had a book in your hand as you sat in the corner of his nest.

-His exact moment of realisation was when he caught himself info-dumping to you about animals. Especially dangerous ones.

-It was a simple question, really. You had run across an animal in your book and figured that Sniper's probably the guy to ask about if you wanted to know more about it.

-So, you quietly, as to not disturb his concentration, asked him about snakes.

-Usually his answers to most questions were single words, or a curt nod or shake of his head, but he had accidentally let himself slip as he taught you about what markings to watch out for and what snakes would be common in your area.

-When he finally did catch himself, he froze, and glanced over at you.

-You, who had nothing but wonder and curiosity in your eyes.

-Maybe he'll keep you around to keep him less bored.

Spy:

-Look, Spy doesn't grow attached to anyone. 

-...Easily, that is. 

-But, he may silently gain some.. favoritism if you manage to get on his good side

-There's not much this man cares for. He wouldn't favor you any more if you bought him flowers, or wore expensive perfume.

-He'd honestly prefer it if people left him alone. 

-But there is one thing he cares about, and it doesn't even involve you interacting with Spy himself.

-That's right. Scout. Jeremy.

-The moment that Spy began to not feel more comfortable around you, but maybe feel soft- if we can even call it that- is when he caught wind of you watching over Scout.

-You often stole his Bonk cans right out of his hands, or nudged his sides when he hasn't eaten in a while. 

-You probably annoyed the hell out of Scout, but Spy could see that it was for the best. 

-It's almost as if you saw Jeremy as your own kid- just, with more of an annoying-sibling type vibe when it came to caring for him.

-It's exactly what Scout needed.

-Not that you'd notice it, because Spy's good at his job, but it sometimes seems like taking you down from behind isn't an option.

Thank you for making it to the end!! :D

July.25.23

[slaughterwrites]

mercs of your choice w/ a reader who wants to do their makeup?

Pyro

-when you ask if you can do their makeup they get super happy and agree

-They wont take their mask off so you’ll have to do it on their mask

-so you end up putting eyeshadow on their goggles and lipstick on their muzzle

Sniper

-hes hesitant at first but after come convincing he agrees

-he doesn’t really like the feeling of makeup on him but whatever makes you happy

-afterwards he looks in a mirror and says that he likes it but right after you leave hes taking it off

Spy

-plot twist hes the one doing ur makeup

-he refuses to let you do his so he does yours

-hes actually amazing at doing makeup and he does an amazing job

-11/10

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

What about showering with the mercs? Nothing dirty, like, at all. But like, washing the gross men’s hair while the bask in the most affection they’ve gotten since 5th grade. Maybe I just wanna see tough and gruff grown men turn into putty when given the smallest amount of care. Gn reader please!! And thank you!!

I love how you assume they got affection in 5th grade. What a very bold claim.

The Mercs taking a shower with Y/N (SFW)

Scout:

- Scout is a very restless person. He can never sit still for more than five seconds. It takes a lot of massages and rubbing soap on his body for him to finally stop shuffling his feet. Even then his attention is always caught by something mundane. Like a weird tile on the wall or the window high above near the ceiling where nobody could be a peeping tom.

- Your affections finally catch up to him. He relaxes a little more when you start to do his hair. He lays his entire head on you and lets you work at his scalp. You notice for some reason his dog-tags are still on him and ask him about it. He shrugs and goes “What if I die in the shower or some shit? Who knows. Maybe a frenchie will fuckshit out of nowhere and backstab me.”

- You can’t help but huff at his joke. It was an amused yet annoyed response to his nonsense. He smiles groggily as you begin washing his back. “Do you do this often?” “Do what?” You ask. “Join a group of mercenaries and then wash their backs.” He says. You scowl at him and shove the loofah in his mouth.

———————————————————————-

Soldier:

- Literal dog. Arches his spine and tilts his head back in bliss as you scratch his scalp. Sighs in relief as you release him of today’s pressure. Turns around against the wall to let you do his back. Raises any limb up when you need it. He enjoys being treated like a pampered animal. He’s like a big Labrador that loves water

- He begins doing you as well mid wash. Covering you in body wash and rubbing your back and tummy in circles. You know little to nothing of soldier’s past so it’s quite a pleasant surprise when you discover he’s good at this. Palming the knots out of your muscles and encouraging you to relax. It’s just enough pressure not to hurt you.

- He took his helmet into the wash.. unsurprising. Pyro and Spy have insecurities with their true face as well. He tilts his helmet upward and flicks it off. allowing it to fall to the floor. His grey eyes are so.. loving. There’s this adoring smile on his face. He makes you so weak you both have to sit down in the shower.

- “C’mere cutie.” Oh. oh shit.

————————————————————————-

Demoman:

- Motherfucker brings alcohol into the shower and lights candles. It’s going to be awkward trying to explain to the others why there’s traces of platonic/romantic intimacy (your pick) in the fucking showers.

- … Let alone why some of the candles look suspiciously like sticks of dynamite.

- “Eh, I ran out of candles and em’ too lazy to get me ass to the store. The rest are just Delayed-Dynamite I bought from mann co a year ago. Don’t worry, we have aroun’ an hour before dey explode!” God you hate him so much sometimes. But you trust his profession in explosive devices and decide to risk it. If all else fails you’ll both just respawn and you’ll beat the shit out of him. No biggie! (Also that dynamite sounds really unhelpful.. No wonder he never used it.)

- Falls asleep in the shower with you on his lap. Usually he snores but he’s dead quiet this time with a big smile on his face. He seems quite content with this. Although you’re the one who has to snuff out the dynamite in time.

——————————————————————————

Engineer:

- He obviously won’t show it, but he’s really timid and embarrassed about this. The moment you both get in, you’re squished against the wall by his massive tummy. Like actually suffocating. This particular shower is way too small for two people.

- “Sorry, pardner.” He says, so unsympathetically that he practically radiates it. In truth his shyness immediately faded when he realized he had the upper hand in the situation. He had a grin on his face as he watched you struggle to grab the soap. Jesus, even his manboobs were obstacles. You wondered how this guy didn’t just crush people on the battlefield by sitting on them.

- “See here, now..” He adjusts his mechanical hand, making sure it was still working — even under the water. He grabbed the soap and began soaping up a loofah. “Guess you’ll just have to watch me, instead. Huh?” He teased. His soft spoken voice made it sound more like he was teasing a small newborn puppy for falling on its back, though. Good luck trying to move around, let alone convince him you’ll wash him.

—————————————————————————-

Heavy:

- LITERALLY SUFFOCATES YOU TO DEATH LIKE ENGINEER BUT MORE PAINFUL

- You’re half wondering if you’re actually going to die from this or break the tile wall. Heavy just stares down at your poor body — that you SWEAR is being mangled right now. “Little teddy bear is too small for Heavy.” He grumbles, shoving his body into you to see your panicked squeaks.

- It doesn’t help that he’s actually incredibly muscular. All of that isn’t fat. It’s pure. fucking. bear. He moves back a bit after getting his fill of enjoyment and you touch his chest with your hands for the first time. Realizing it was rock solid. How did you not notice this before?

- His soft monster-like breathing was calming and evened out your own. It was like you were washing a sleeping dragon. You’re slightly disappointed he’s not a huge werewolf. But regardless, he was calm very often and you weren’t. This closeness and intense heat from the shower was making you sleepy.

—————————————————————————

Pyro:

- Literally refuses. good job trying to get them in. You have to be a SUPER trustworthy friend/partner of many years before you come to this point.

- Even then, after they take a shower they enjoy a nice hot bath to unwind. It’s incredibly relaxing to lay on their chubby belly and allow yourself to take in the heat. They like their bathes EXTREMELY hot by the way. Might as well be boiling themselves. Luckily it doesn’t seem to be killing you or causing third degree burns, so it’s not boiling.

- When you wash them, make sure to rub their belly. They’ll practically melt at the touch. Maybe even almost fall asleep. Don’t forget to slap their belly like a drum. Produces nice sound. You NEED to do this. This is a threat.

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Yes, this man does shower regularly. Dear god. You people are degenerates. He is NOT smelly stinky. Professionals have standards.

- Gets extremely touchy feely with you. As you trace his chest scars he flinches for a second but then sighs. You explore his body whilst soaping him up. Every little part of him is free for touching. On his back are many, many scars from spies that the respawn machine didn’t quite heal. You touch those sensitive areas to test the waters (pun intended.) and he nearly takes a huge chunk out of your shoulder by almost biting you.

- But feeling your comforting touch.. And your fingers carefully gliding over the sensitive areas, he trusts you to treat them well. You are so close to him you can practically feel his breath on your face and smell his pleasant aftershave. “Goood..” He growls. He drags his compliment and his voice makes you shiver. It’s like your ears are orgasming.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- He is unbelievably stubborn at first, but the moment you try and respect his wishes and leave, he goes “WAIT.” Yeah, fucking figures. You get in the shower with him and he’s trying to be stoic and distant most of the time. He feels exposed and it’s making him feel conflicted. Medic is dominate, protective by nature due to his difficult past. He feels a need to be in control of this situation entirely.

- He gets grumpy when you insist on washing him and reverses the situation. Instead opting to take care of you instead. He’s no stranger to massages. (Please don’t ask him about the time he had to check people bare naked when he still had his medical license.) And he’s really experienced in knowing all the right places. Instructing you in an incredibly professional manner to turn around, lift an arm and whatnot.

- The moment he goes to your stomach, he says quietly “Did you know that all your intestines are moving around in there like a snake right now? Ohh.. I’d love to feel the texture of them.” He presses his hand on your lower half, sad that it isn’t possible without cutting you open. He hums contently as he feels around where your lungs and heart would be. Counting every single second you breathe in and out.

- For some reason you feel like you’re being examined and breathe deeper breaths on instinct. Which only furthers his pleasure. “I want to be close..” His voice is barely audible. You swear he’s whispering this repeatedly. “I want to be close, I want to be close.. I want to be close.” He wraps his arms around you, squeezing you to death like a plush doll. “I want to be close, I want to be close!” He’s beginning to sound a little frustrated. As if he wanted to be one with you in some way.

——————————————————————————

Spy:

- He’s so used to sexual favors that he mistakes this as some sort of sexual intimacy at first. Taken aback when he realizes it’s just casual affection. He’s not used to people loving him for merely existing. He always has to be in somebody’s pants or he feels useless to said person.

- Refuses to take his mask off. It’s sopping wet. You look at his pitiful state with love in your eyes. He scoffs at you “Oh look, somebody who doesn’t have to hide their identity because they don’t have literal mafias, big name criminals, and government officials tailing them.. How very wonderful.” He’ll take it off for the hair wash but you have to close your eyes while doing it, otherwise he threatens to cut you. (Hah. Bullshit. He won’t.)

- Very quiet most of the time. Little speak. His touch is delicate and focused, rubbing your back as you wash his big chest. For somebody who folds like a piece of paper on the battlefield against enemy pyros, he’s certainly strong compared to you.

- You feel something gently poke at your back. Freezing in place, you eye the sliver object behind you. Low and behold there’s spy’s butterfly knife. He can’t seem to get intimate without pulling that thing out and doing casual knife play with you. No matter who you are to him; he’ll twirl the knife behind you on your skin. So delicate that he doesn’t pierce your skin at all. He does this often as a game of trust. Eager to see if you’ll shrink away or not. In fear of what he truly is. Weapons will always be a part of him.

[jar-of-something-else]

LET THESE FREAKS FUCK NASTY!!

i'm sick and flipping tired of nobody letting heavy, pyro, or scout be insane and it's my american right to make it happen (this is for the anon that wanted mean pyro and for another anon that wanted heavy) (scout is for me)

under the cut obvs!!

WARNINGS: AFAB reader, crazy nsfw, CRINGE ASS DIALOGUE BITS!!!!! i wanted to try something new tell me if it's too gross and i'll stop and delete my whole account, mercs being MEAN!!!! also there's some russian (google translate russian) promise i'll provide translations <3

under 16 DNI !!!!!!!! please and thanks :)

Pyro:

-pyro has a neat little storage ottoman at the foot of his bed and guess what!! it's filled with sex toys!!!! who could have guessed!!!!!

-he's got a very wide variety of items 'cause he likes to keep it crazy; these items are included but not limited to: icy-hot (for temp play), handcuffs of many varieties, non-abrasive rope (for comfort), insane amounts of phallic rubber items (and glass he doesn't care) and just so so many more

-obvi the rope is used to tie you up but it's less shibari and more just restricting your movements by tying you to the bed/tying your arms and legs together

-obviously not the biggest talker (at least not anything you can understand), so whenever he wants to humiliate or degrade you, he'll grab your jaw and make you look into the goggles on his mask (it's a little scary) while he does whatever the hell to you

-not above teasing you in public and on the battlefield, he gets a laugh out of it

-touching a little more on the waxplay thing, pyro has a variety of candlesticks as well as regular candles in the jar containers. usually, he lets the ones in the jar burn for a bit until there's a pool of wax that he uses to cover larger areas on you, and the candlesticks are burnt while he drips the wax across your body

-into the idea of exhibitionism, hence the willingness to get you going in public areas, but he wouldn't actually want another person there during actual sex

-voyeurism on the other hand he is 100% down for

-wouldn't want to permanently damage you or anything, but pyro does like to use matches or a lighter to burn you just a teeny tiny little bit

Heavy:

-oh lord

-in my personal opinion, i think heavy is around 7 feet tall and 360-400 pounds so he's a BIG FUCKING GUY and obviously that's gonna translate to his dick

-more girth compared to length but sweet baby jesus it doesn't really matter at this point dude is SCARY big

-if you don't stop him (or if your begging doesn't get to him), he could prep you for hours on end. he wants to make sure he doesn't hurt you but another part of him very much enjoys overstimulating and making you beg for him to do something else

"Ты думаешь, что готов, маленький зайчик? Я не согласен. Мой член слишком велик для тебя." (you think you are ready little bunny? i disagree. my cock is just too big for you.)

-when heavy does finally decide to fuck you for real he goes wayyy too slow; he tells you it's for you to adjust but he just keeps dragging it out to tease you even more

-due to the whole "lets drag this thing out as long as possible" experience, it could lead to a lot of overstimulation. naturally, heavy's response to this is to just edge you until you're so desperate that you can't see straight

-like i mentioned in my first nsfw post, heavy has a BIG ASS breeding kink. he won't tell you (unless you know russian) but he does refer to himself as daddy when/if you let him cum inside you; he just thinks it's embarrassing after the fact and he doesn't wanna tell you

"Ты был так хорош для папы, ты заслуживаешь награды." (you've been so good for daddy, you deserve a reward)

Scout:

-my favorite part of the whole post !!!

-very very fast paced (obviously) and does enjoy slightly disorienting you with the speed he does things. whether he's fingering you, eating you out, or actually fucking you he makes sure to speed up as a little surprise

-sometimes he'll go hard enough to make his (or your) bed frame rock against the wall and he will rub it in the other mercs faces if someone knocks on the door to get you guys to shut up

"Oh wassat? You jealous I'm gettin' laid and you're not? Take that shiny bald head of yours and shove it up your ass, pal, I'm a little busy in here!" (could be talking to heavy or engineer you choose)

-i mentioned scout calling himself daddy in my last post (which IS canon i double checked) and it just got me thinkin so hard....he doesn't let you call him by his real name while he's fucking you, otherwise he'll stop what he's doing completely until you say it

"I don't know much about dis Jeremy guy you keep talkin' about, but it's startin' ta piss me off how often you're sayin' his name. Why don't you tell me who's really fuckin' ya this well, huh doll? Go ahead n' say it fa daddy." (i tried to write out his accent i love it so much but i'm so sorry to boston)

-whenever spy is out on a mission and you and scout are back at base he will sneak into spy's smoking room with you and fuck there. scout doesn't appreciate the subtle flirts he sees spy send your way, so he likes to give him a little reminder of who you chose to be with (even if it's in the form of cum stains on spy's velvet couch)

[multifandomthoughts]

Mercs with a reader who’s like Mitsuri

Heavy

Heavy really appreciates you. He likes to cook, and when he does, he makes huge portions. So seeing that you eat a lot, it makes him happy. The last thing he would want is for you to go hungry.

He was curious one day, and wanted to see if you could lift Sasha. So he gave you permission to pick his gun up, with the caveat that you had to be extremely careful with her. Was pleasantly surprised and pleased to see that you could lift her with ease.

Compared to his serious and stoic demeanor, he loves how bubbly and happy you are! It really makes his heart flutter, even if he doesn’t outwardly show it.

He also loves how absolutely authentic you are to yourself. If anyone says anything negative about you, they’re going to find the end of his fists. Nobody hurts you and gets away with it, not on his watch.

Engineer

“Heavy load, coming through!” Is something you’re going to hear much more from him now that you’re around. With your permission and assistance, he can build bigger and heavier contraptions! He’s incredibly grateful, because even though he himself is strong, you’re much stronger than him.

Just like Heavy, it’s normal in his family to have big meals, so at first he wasn’t sure how you would react to him giving you so much food. But he’s incredibly joyful once he sees that you’ve finished your plate and asked for more! You’ll definitely fit in at the family barbecues.

When he’s having a bad day, it always makes him at least the little bit happier when you’re around. You’re so bubbly and sweet that he can’t possibly be upset much longer.

Has tried to arm wrestle you with his gunslinger before, just out of curiosity. He wanted to see how far your physical strength actually went. You lost obviously as you can’t out force a robot arm.

Medic

Is absolutely fascinated by how strong you are despite you not looking it. Definitely wants to do experiments on you to determine why this is the case. Is there something that makes you different than the others? Or is it just pure natural strength?

Observes you from a distance, just watching you interact with the others. Is probably the one least likely to call you a monster, he thinks you’re a perfect specimen.

Doesn’t say anything, but he thinks it’s very attractive when you lift very heavy things. It sends a shiver down his spine that he has to shake off. He might ask you to help him declutter his office sometime as it has some very large medical instruments that need removing.

Is also impressed about how much you can eat, and wonders if how much you eat correlates to how you were able to retain all that muscle mass. Not so discretely takes notes on you while eating.

Demoman

When he hears about how strong you are, he wants to see if you can wield the eyelander. When you can, he shows you the power of wielding both the eyelander and the chargin’ targe. He teaches you how to use them, because he figures that you have enough muscle mass to keep you safe.

When he gets a new barrel or box full of materials he asks if you can help him move it so he can get to work on making more of them. When you do, you happily talk to him all the way, helping to motivate him to work harder.

Because you can eat so much, he wonders if you can drink a lot as well. Challenges you to a drinking contest, and when you inevitably lose, he apologizes profusely. Is still incredibly impressed about how far you got though.

Though, he does tell you how cute you were while drunk. You thought you were bubbly sober? Take it to another level whole nother level. You were giggling, cracking jokes and cuddling up to him.

Pyro

They knew you were a fun person the first time they laid their eyes on you. This is another person who will relate to being called a monster and will not hesitate to torch whoever did it.

When they bake, they ask you to be their taste tester! They want to make sure everything is right, and if it takes a batch or two, that’s okay! Your voracious appetite won’t be ruined if you have a few cupcakes!

When they want to make a big bonfire outside (much to the chagrin of others.) They also ask you to help them find some large kindling so that they can have a big party!

Pyro also loves hugs, and you can often be seen either picking them up in a hug, or carrying them across your shoulder. They’re surprisingly light, even with the suit and it makes them incredibly happy that you pick them up.

Scout

Like Demoman, he is incredibly interested to see how much food you can eat. Challenges you to a food eating contest, but this time, he loses. He’s absolutely miserable after the fact, but thinks you’re so cool for eating that much food.

Scout loves running with you, and loves that you can actually keep up with him. You’re nimble and quick like him, and it causes him to want to keep doing his best.

Despite him being a bit ruder, and a bit more brash, you two are constantly chattering like birds, talking about basically everything, no matter how stupid the things coming out of his mouth may be.

You stand up for him when he gets attacked, because as much as he can be annoying he doesn’t deserve to be beaten up like a bully in high school

Soldier

Is suspicious of you at first. Your arms and legs are tiny, how could you possibly be as strong as you say they are? The rest of the mercs must have been just been nice to you. That is, until he sees you clock an enemy with just your strength during a battle.

From then on, considers you to be a real American soldier, perfect for the battlefield of life. Helps you find what weapons would be the best suited for you, since weight isn’t a problem.

Applauds you on your abilities in the battlefield, and sticks close to you. Nobody is better than him, and he just wants to make sure that you’re taking his war tips to heart.

When dinner time comes, he’s incredibly shocked at how much you eat, and is lowkey concerned that you’re overdoing it. You’re tiny, you don’t want to make yourself sick on the mission tomorrow!

Sniper

You work with him as somewhat of a bodyguard when he’s on high ground. He can view the area in front of him, while you make sure that nobody is sneaking up on him from behind. You’re strong enough to make sure nobody gets to his perch.

In the off time though, he likes having barbecues in the front of his vans. You’re incredibly fond of them, and the first time you have a barbecue with him, he realizes that he won’t have to worry about leftovers.

Whenever he needs help with his van, he requests your help. Whether it’s the inside or the outside, he knows that he can count on you. Usually it’s that the van needs a new tire or some new wiring, and you’re always willing to help.

Being someone who is tall and lanky but moderately strong, he relates to you. There’s one big difference between the two of you though, and that’s that he’s really quiet. Your chattering actually helps him feel more comfortable because it lets you control the conversation and allows him to say what he needs to say without having to speak up too much.

Spy

Just like Sniper, Spy enjoys listening to you talk. However, because Spy is a more realistic person, your positivity helps balance out the tone of your conversation. When he’s having a particularly bad day, just listening to you talk is helpful to ease your mind.

He definitely wants you to try some of his home cooked food, because while he noticed you eat a lot of food, you love everything that you eat. He just hopes that you aren’t put off by French portion sizes.

Quite likes how you are nimble and quick. Had you not be so talkative, he thinks you’d make quite a good spy. He does teach you how to be a bit more silent so you can sneak up on scout though.

Is confused why people would call you a monster, had they never seen someone so strong before? He likes it that way, so you don’t have to rely on him as much, and that makes him much more likely to help you on the rare occasion you do need it.

[vikkirosko]

Headcanons Single parent

⚾️ Scout x Reader 🍗

When you met Scout, you seemed to him a pleasant person with whom he was interested in communicating and flirting. When he had a weekend off, you went on dates. He was serious and hoped that your relationship would last a long time. He was happy when you invited him to visit you, but a surprise was waiting for him in your house in the person of your five-year-old son

You were a single parent and have been raising your son for five years. The second parent left you and your child, so you took full responsibility for yourself and so far you have coped well with your role as a parent. Your son had to go to school soon, so you were often busy. You worked hard so that your son would have everything he needed and even more. Every time you told someone you liked that you had a son, they left pretty quickly and stopped communicating with you. That's why you didn't tell Scout about it. You were waiting for the right moment and it was by inviting him to your home that you decided to tell him the truth. But Scout didn't leave

Scout saw that you were busy, so he proudly offered to play with your son while you were busy. You were grateful to him and went about your business, but you continued to listen to make sure that nothing bad would happen. Scout joked a lot and played with your son like a little brother. Your son has never had a person with whom he could behave so freely before. When you finished your business, you saw both of them, tired, sleeping on the couch. You didn't wake them up and, smiling gently, covered them with a blanket

You were glad that Scout wasn't bothered by the fact that you had a child. He was like an older brother or a friendly uncle to your son. You were glad that his feelings for you did not weaken and he was even ready to help you with taking care of your son. He couldn't help him with the upcoming school, but he could help you with care and upbringing

🪖 Soldier x Reader 🦅

From the first day of acquaintance, Soldier was in love with you, which he quickly told you. You started dating a couple of months later and you saw each other often, but usually during the day. You had a job and in the evenings you usually spent time at home. Soldier didn't know the reason until one day he came to your house. He planned to surprise you, but when you opened the door to him, he heard a child's voice asking you who came to you

As it turned out, you were a single parent and you had a six-year-old daughter. You didn't go into details about your partner, just said that you are now alone with your daughter and that despite the fact that you like Jane, you didn't want to put a romantic relationship above your daughter, but Soldier wasn't going to try to somehow influence your relationship with your daughter and was even glad that that you had a child. He imagined how to communicate with boys, because he worked surrounded by men, but it was more difficult with a girl. He has become a frequent guest in your house. The fact that he knew about your daughter allowed you to see each other more often and the girl quickly became attached to him

You could safely do cooking without worrying that your daughter might get bored. Soldier was happy to communicate with her and participated in her games, changing them in a military way. Your daughter was having fun with the new plots he was coming up with and you asked him every time to make them less detailed when it came to some of the scenes he described. He tried to do as you asked, but it didn't always work out, but as long as your daughter was happy, everything suited you

When your daughter first called Soldier Dad, he was surprised by this and could not hold back tears. When you saw him like that, you couldn't help but smile softly and hugged him. For the first time in your life there was a man who accepted you and your daughter

🔥 Pyro x Reader 🦄

Pyro met you at a toy store. He came there to look at toys, and you were choosing something and accidentally bumped into him. He apologized to you for a long time, even though you didn't immediately understand what he was saying, but he offered to help you choose a toy as a sign of apology. As it turned out, you were choosing gifts for your daughters on their birthday. Pyro was happy to help you choose gifts and a few days later you met again

You liked him despite the fact that he had some oddities and after a few months of the relationship you decided to introduce him to your daughters. You had two seven-year-old twin girls whom you loved very much and with whom you introduced Pyro. Your daughters were surprised when you introduced them to him, but they quickly accepted him and arranged a tea party with him, in which he gladly participated

Every time Pyro came to visit you, your daughters were sincerely glad to see him. They played with him while you were busy and were happy when he was at your family events. They were ready to accept him as a part of the family and it genuinely pleased you. Your daughters rarely trusted strangers so easily, which is why Pyro stood out so much

The relationship with Pyro was not the first after you became a single parent, but your daughters liked only him. He was genuinely attached to them and you were glad that you could not be afraid that your daughters would be against your relationship. You sincerely hoped that Pyro would become a part of your family

🍺 Demoman x Reader 💣

Demoman and you met in a bar. You worked there and didn't mind chatting with a regular customer at all. You always listened to what he was talking about and drove him home several times when he was too drunk and couldn't drive himself. You both liked your communication and you started seeing each other not only in the bar where you worked and finally you started dating. However, a much more important step was that you introduced him to your sons

As it turned out, you were a single parent and you had two eight-year-old sons. You didn't say what happened to your partner, but you loved your sons and took care of them. You were worried about how your sons would react to Demo, because you had never introduced them to those you met before, trying to separate relationships and family. However, he quickly won the favor of your children by telling them stories from his childhood, especially about how he came to the sorcerer's castle

Tavish really treated your children with care and attention. He often thought that he would like a family, but before he did not have the opportunity to become a family man because of work. However, you and your sons seemed ready to accept him into your family. It really meant a lot to him

He hoped that in the coming holidays he would be able to invite you and your sons to his home to introduce you to his mother. He appreciated that you introduced him to your family, which is why he wanted you to meet his family too. He was sure that his mom would be able to accept you as family members

🥪 Heavy x Reader 🐻

Heavy and you were able to get along from the first day of your acquaintance. He told you about his family and you listened with interest to stories about his sisters when they were children. You didn't have any siblings so you didn't know what it was like. However, you told him that you had two daughters, the eldest was twelve and the youngest was eight. They were your family and when you were sure of your relationship with Heavy, you decided to introduce him to them

Your daughters could not immediately feel at ease with him. He seemed very big against your background, and against the background of your daughters, he seemed just a giant. However, Heavy was able to find a common language with the girls, after all, he had three younger sisters, so after several meetings they were glad to see him, as if he had been part of your family for a long time

Every time he came to your house, he helped you cook, told your daughters about life in a small house among the snows, about his sisters and mother. They always listened to him with interest and asked a huge number of questions. You smiled softly, rejoicing that your daughters were so attached to him

He hoped that someday you will be able to live like a real family. He sincerely loved you and sometimes imagined how you could live in a big house, he, you, your daughters, and his mother and sisters would come to you for the holidays. It was a quiet and peaceful life that he wanted for his family and for you

🧰 Engineer x Reader 🎸

Engineer always thought he would have a family. He thought about it when he was younger, then he focused on work. But when he met you, he will want to start a family again. He genuinely liked you, and he hoped that your relationship could become serious. However, you usually didn't agree to late dates, saying you needed to be at home. Engineer treated this with understanding. When you asked him to come to your house, he was surprised, but agreed. But he was even more surprised when he found out that you had two sons

You didn't talk about your ex-partner, but you understood that since you raised the children alone, it means either something happened or you broke up. He didn't ask you about it, knowing that if you wanted to, you would tell him about it. Your sons were suspicious of him at first, but his sincere friendliness was able to endear your younger son, while the older one continued to treat him with great distrust

Dell understood that he could not become a father to your sons, but he hoped that he would be able to establish a relationship with them. He often came to your house, spent time with you, had a barbecue and was part of your family holidays. You saw how your youngest son was glad when Dell came and even your eldest son began to treat him more warmly, although he did not show it openly

Engineer and you were happy together. The people who saw you took you for a family, and it pleased you both. Perhaps the day when you can really call each other family was much closer than you might have thought

🕊 Medic x Reader 💉

You met Medic in the library where he periodically went. You worked there as a librarian and quite often you chatted about everything in the world. You were an educated and interesting conversationalist with whom Medic liked to spend time. However, even when you started dating, there was a feeling that there were still unsaid things between you. As it turned out, this was indeed the case. As it turned out, you had a son

You were a single parent who raised a fourteen-year-old son. It wasn't as easy as it might seem. Your son had a rebellious period and because of this you often quarreled. You haven't even tried to arrange your personal life for a long time, but now that your son is older, you hoped that everything would finally go well. Medic was not bothered by the fact that you had a son, but your son did not perceive his appearance in your life as something good

Every time Ludwig came to you, he felt your son's aggressive gaze on him. Your son didn't like the fact that your usual way of life. He was satisfied with how you live with him and he did not expect the appearance of Medic. Ludwig understood this and was in no hurry to become your son's best friend, but he did not think to start feuding with him

Medic understood that you put your son's well-being first and you hoped that Ludwig could become part of your family. It was still too early to talk about it, but the fact that your son, though gradually, began to trust him already said a lot

🦉Sniper x Reader 🎷

Sniper's parents sometimes talked to him about finally starting a family, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He lived in a camper, worked as a sniper and it was difficult for him to call himself a family man. Even when he met you and you started dating, he didn't change his mind. And he was very surprised when he found out that you had a child

You were a single parent and for ten years you have been raising your son. Your child was very sociable and when you introduced him to Mundy, your son quickly took a liking to him. It was strange for Sniper. It was unusual for him to communicate with a child, but he tried to do everything right. You saw how hard he tried and it made you smile sincerely

Sniper had no idea how hard it could be to raise a child alone. Several times he looked after your son while you were cooking dinner or finishing preparations for the coming day. He felt awkward participating in the games that your son came up with, but looking at your soft smile and hearing your son's laughter, he felt for a few moments the family warmth that his parents must have experienced

Every time Mundy spent time with you, he thought that maybe living with a family wasn't so bad. He didn't know what it would look like if you were more than a couple, but sometimes it seemed like a really good idea to him, but for now he put it off, rejoicing at what he had

🚬 Spy x Reader 🗡

Spy decided for himself a long time ago that he is not a family man. He knew that he had a son, but he did not participate in his upbringing and had no idea how to communicate with him now that his son was already an adult. He started a relationship with you confident that he wouldn't have to think about it, but pretty soon he found out that it wasn't quite like that

You were a single parent raising a fourteen-year-old daughter. You and your daughter had a trusting relationship, so you didn't hide your romantic relationship from her. Spy was surprised when he met your daughter, who had returned earlier from her friend. You introduced them and your daughter, to Spy's surprise, was friendly to him. She was glad that you finally got busy with your personal life

Spy didn't see your daughter that often, but every time they met, she was friendly with him, not as a possible father, but as an adult acquaintance. It calmed him down a little. Gradually, he took a liking to your daughter, sometimes perceiving her as his own daughter. It was much easier to communicate with her than with Jeremy, and he himself did not notice how he began to take paternal care of her

You smiled gently as you listened to your daughter telling you and Spy about her day. Spy himself did not notice how he smiled at this. He understood that such a peaceful life was very rare for him and he did not rule out that he would have to leave you, but while he had the opportunity, he used it