#mackenziestokes

[pankowkisses]

Silent whispers

CHAPTER FIVE (remember who I am)

𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱

I finally manage to pull myself together to ease the anger that was coursing through my body I decide that if he didn't like me then that's fine I don't really care what he thinks I've never cared about what people think about me, I'm not gonna start now Why should I care about what an absolute stranger thinks about me when I could be , the usual bad ass bitch I am I need to remember who I am

I decide to put on my lipgloss and take my hair down I run my fingers through it to make it look a lot prettier I take a look at myself in the mirror I see that I look. Hot which makes me smile to my self as i swing the bathroom door open and walk back towards the table I sit down smiling

"Right where were we guys" I ask them looking around the table at all they're confused faces, havens smiling and rudys scowling which makes me laugh

"That's the Mackenzie stokes I know" haven says laughing as I smile at her

"So this is my sister real personality" Chase says chucking which the other apart from Rudy all laugh along with him

"Well dearest brother the is a lot more to the real me?" I smirk getting up standing in front of the table "do y'all want anything my treat" I ask them hoping I have enough money for them all if they want anything, I decide to ignore havens stares of confusion as I check my bank account as they all say there orders I see that I have 50 dollars in there which will only be enough for groceries because it's my turn to buy those

"Well actually do y'all want to go to mine and haves apartment it's just around the corner" I say shrugging as I walk towards the door

" y'all coming?" I question as they all look at me curiously while haven just shakes her head getting up ,grabbing her purse and walking to me the cast follow her and rudys just standing there staring at me

"Why can't we stay here?" He questions with a smirk

"Because I'm hungry and I've got some fruit at mine although if you wanna stay I don't mind leaving your ass here blondie" I smirk walking out the door which makes

Maddison says "Chase I absolutely love your sister" which makes me quietly laugh as I walk ahead

I walk in the apartment building just as I realise I'm taking a bunch of famous people into a small rented shared apartment which is completely nothing special, one of the said famous people is my brother I must have halted in my step when I feel someone crash into my back I look and see that it's Rudy

"Watch where your going" Rudy says looking at me In anger which just makes me smirk "don't you like walking behind me Rudy" I smirk laughing quietly at his speechless posture as I walk to the front door that havens just opened with her key

"Welcome to our mansion" I say laughing walking inside making the group laugh except Rudy who's just scowling to himself

"I see my sister has a great personality" Chase laughs 

"But not a great apartment" Rudy mumbles which makes me quickly spin round shooting daggers at him 

"Well some of us can't afford nice houses Rudy" I say annoyed at him as I walk into my kitchen I open the fridge and immediately groan all the is in there is some fruit which is expiring tomorrow and half a carton of milk I grab a banana and walk to the couch I feel everybody look at me , what I say eating the banana

"Your living like this" Chase asks gesturing around which I give him a confused look

"Yeah what's wrong with it" I reply curiously

"Nothings wrong with it but please don't hate me when I ask this" he asks I give him an annoyed look "are you okay with like being able to afford the essentials?" He asks which honestly makes me me feel so embarrassed who wouldn't feel embarrassed I'm a 23 year old who's sharing with her best friend with barely anything in the fridge "why are you asking this" I say becoming defensive "he's saying this because common we all know that your poor look around yourself" Rudy pipes up making me snap my head towards him "well excuse me I was speaking to my brother" I snap

Turning back towards Chase "what did you mean" I ask him "Mackenzie I didn't mean to offend you I just wanted to know how your living" he says softly

"Chase I mean this in the nicest way possible you don't understand what's happened in my life" I tell him in a bitchy tone

"And I won't if you don't tell me" he says while all the others are looking at us in confusion I sigh looking towards him "listen Im not some type of charity case okay and I will tell you when I want too" I say calmly knowing that the will have to be a conversation that has to be had with Chase about my past something I knew that would always happen but in reality I was always hoping to put it off completely

Knowing that was never an option I decide to just tell Chase when I'm officially ready to tell him knowing it won't be an easy conversation to Have but one that needs to happen

"Right are we all just gonna be morbid or are you gonna tell me things about you" I ask putting the banana in the trash looking at Chase who smiles as the him , the others and haven find places to sit I tell the, that I'm gonna go put my coat in my room

As soon as I am in the safety of my own room I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, I feel as if my worlds gonna come crumbling down now that Chase has seen the place I live although I didn't have much choice it's either that or him finding out I don't have much money what was I supposed to do, I collect my thoughts all together, and lock them away like I always do I push this facade up so no one sees the real me, the broken girl, the depressed girl , the traumatised girl, that's one thing I won't ever let anyone see never is have to be fully out of my sense to let anyone see that part of me.

Who knew that I'd do the exact opposite of what I thought I would do I let him see me, the real me , the broken girl , he picked up my shattered pieces and put them back in place somehow, that's how I knew I'd be okay as long as I have him...

_____________

Hiii y’all here’s chapter 5 of silent whispers which you can also check this story out on Wattpad along with my other stories my Wattpad is @pouges4life_ I’d really appreciate it 🫶🏻

[pankowkisses]

silent whispers

CHAPTER THREE (the revelation)

𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱

As soon as I tap him on the shoulder I start to overthink should I even tell him , I know he has a right to know but what if I ruin his relationship with his mom , our mom , what if he already knows about me , what if he thinks I'm just saying this for clout as he's an actor , god why does my brain have to overthink everything in my entire life

He turns around which snaps me out of my trance

"Can I help you" he asks oblivious to the fact that I'm having an actual anxiety attack right now

"Are you chase stokes?" I ask trying to sound less anxious that doesn't work though if anything it makes me even more anxious I feel my hands shake even more if that's even possible

"Yes I am who are you?" He says curiously

"I'm Mackenzie can I speak to you in private I say glancing around the table at all the unknown faces in the group he's with one catches my eye though a blonde haired ,blue eyes boy who looks to be atleast my age if not a year or so older he's quite attractive he's looks like the type of guy I'd like to get to know

"Whatever you've got to say you can say it in front of my friends." He says calmly like it's not life changing news that I'm about to break to him I take a deep breath and nod

"I... I think your my brother" I say with a shaky voice

"What?" He reply's shocked and suddenly turning serious

"I'm Mackenzie stokes can we speak in private and I'll tell you the whole story" I ask him hoping he'd be understanding about it he nods and I walk towards a table in the corner of the shop I pass haven and she looks at me and gives me a small smile which I return I sit down on the chair in the corner and look out the window that is until chase breaks the silence

"So what made you think I'm your brother" he asks me which is quite a valid question considering I'm 23 and he obviously never knew about me

"Before I tell you this I want you to know Im not using you for clout i promise, I was put in foster care from when I was born up until I turned 18 , I'm now 23 , I'm from here , I've been recently looking into my birth family and the orphanage told me my mom was called Jennifer canning I got in contact with her this morning, on instagram here's the messages" I say passing him my phone 

He's definitely not going to believe me nobody ever does , he will take our moms side because quite frankly I would , I knew my life was one of the chaotic ones but this is just absolute madness, the only thing that is an actual constant in my life has been haven , I hope that I will have chase too

He quickly reads the messages and passes me my phone back "you never needed to show me those I believe you but I can't believe she never told me , i also can't believe she said that stuff to you" he says which makes me shrug "I'm kinda used to it" I reply nonchalantly "you shouldn't have to be your my sister I know I've only just met you but your my family and that means something to me" he says reaching over grabbing my hand I look at him and smile I feel a few tears slipping out of my eyes "I've never really had a family" I saw quit my

"Hey don't cry I'm here now I'm not going anywhere" chase says rounding the table he pulls me into a hug something that I've rearly felt

"T..thank you for believing me" I sniffle

"I'll always believe you you family Mackenzie even though I've only just met you your my sister and I love you I can't wait to get to know you and what's happened in your life " he says as I hug him tighter

"I've never been told that before I.. I love you too I promise I'll tell you everything"

"Ive always wanted a sister" chase says when we pull away from a hug

" well you've got one now" I say smiling as I wipe my tears

"Would you like to meet my friend" Chase says gesturing towards the group of people who I saw earlier

"I.. um sure I can also introduce you to my friend haven" I say as we walk towards everyone

Well that went a lot better than I expected I'm not looking forward to when our mom finds out , it wasn't intentional I didn't know he'd be here but in a way I'm glad he is , I have someone who's not haven who's they're for me now someone I hope will never leave me to deal with this world alone , this day has been one for the dramatics

Never in my twenty three years of life has one day been as chaotic as today has but would I change it probably not if I was to tell myself ten years ago that I'd have met my brother and about to meet his friends , I'm worried about what's gonna happen if he goes to film something does he even live in Maryland , all these questions battle in my mind I honestly don't know how im gonna be able to tell chase all about my past when I don't like telling people how I feel, it's all new to me , I still need to get a job but that will wait until another time today I just want to spend with my brother, haven and his friends after I meet them

Oh boy I wouldn't have guessed what today had in store for me from that moment...

˜"*°•.˜"*°• ____________________•°*"˜.•°*"˜

Ａｕｔｈｏｒ ｎｏｔｅ

Hiii y’all here’s chapter 3 of silent whispers which you can also check this story out on out @pouges4life_ I’d really appreciate it 🫶🏻

[pankowkisses]

Silent whispers

CHAPTER TWO ( the response )

𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱

The unanswered questions I have race around my head , will I ever get the answers I desperately need , the answers I deserve, will my biological family even want me probably not nobody ever wants me , as a child all I wanted to do was to be held and told how much I'm loved yet I never got any of that I got pushed and shoved and told how worthless I was , the pain and harshness I went through in those foster homes was something that no one could ever imagine, the only time I felt safe is when I was living with Mrs Watson she was the only type of parental figure I've ever had in my entire life , these twenty three years seem pointless, what's the actual point In my life, when I'm just disposable , no one's ever gonna want me

I'm a twenty three year old girl living in a two bedroom apartment that I share with my best friend , I don't have a job I can barely afford the rent on this place let alone anything luxurious not that I need anything like that anyways

A ping from my phone breaks me out of my thoughts just as haven looks at me

"Is it her" she asks which I nod in response while staring down at my phone with shaky hands I click the notification I see that she has replied I open instagram

【Ｔｈｅ　Ｄｍ】

@𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓏𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

𝐻𝒾 𝐼'𝓂 𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓂?

@𝒿𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝟦

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒

𝐼 𝑔𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝑜 𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝟤𝟥 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝑔𝑜

@𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓏𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝐼'𝓂 𝟤𝟥 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝓇𝓅𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒶𝑔𝑒

𝓉𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽 𝓂𝑜𝓂

@𝒿𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝟦

𝒪𝓀𝒶𝓎 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑒

𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 , 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓁𝓎 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝑜𝓃

𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

@𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓏𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉

𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝐼'𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝓂

@𝒿𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝟦

𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓌

𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝒾𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓂𝑒

𝒮𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝓎 @𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓏𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Well there we go the truth is out I officially know that I have a brother the issue is my  my birth mom won't let me even contact him so it looks like I'll have to do some investigating myself.

"So what'd she say" haven asks looking at me curiously

"It's official I have a brother but my birth mom said that I can't meet or contact him and she doesn't want any contact with me" I say sighing with tears in my eyes

"Aww babes we'll find your brother and you don't need her anymore she's shown her true colours now and I can guarantee that your brother doesn't know you, and if he did then he's an asshole"  she says hugging me as I nod

"Okay grab that laptop or phone and screenshot that photo we'll put it on google images" she says and that's exactly what we do I find out that my brother is an actor who stars in a Netflix show that has three seasons currently, that pushes my chances of sending him a dm on instagram cause it will go straight to his requested messages so this is seriously impossible

"Haves the isn't anyway possible that I'll be able to meet him or contact him" I say sighing I throw my head back on the back of the couch,

"Yes the will be a way but  let's go forget about that now and go to the old mil and see if they're still hiring" she says throwing me my shoes and coat as it's winter in Maryland Florida we've had rain so I'm currently in some ripped jeans and a cropped jumper my hairs in a pony tail , I throw on my coat and shoes which is a pair of Nike air forces

Once me and haven are both ready to go we grab our phones

"Right let's go" I say locking the front door

"Let's go get you a job girl! Haven practically screams as we walk down the street towards the old mil which is literally two doors down from our apartment

We open the door a soon as the door flies open I see a group of 8 people in the corner of the room in one of the booths ok think nothing of it until a guy with brown hair turns around in his seat I see that it's the guy from my biological mom's instagram feed , my brother he's here my actual brother the one who I never knew existed is stood in the same place as I am I feel my heart start racing what's gonna happen , does he even know about me , do I go over to him and tell him I quite staring and walk over to where haven is I pull her to the side

"Haves" I ask her

"Yeah what's up" she says looking confused

"You know that group of people over there" I say hinting over to them subtly

"Yeah" she says even more confused

" my brothers over they're what do I do? he might not even know about me" i say freaking out

"What do you mean "what do you do" you go over there and meet your brother" haven says like it's obvious

"I can't I'm scared haves" I say quietly

"Your Mackenzie stokes your fearless now you go and meet your brother Kenz" haven says pushing me towards the group

Here goes nothing I guess it's now or never, I'm either gonna find out he never knew I existed like I never knew he existed or he knew about me but never cared enough to find me , I feel my nerves and anxiety build up I'm not usually a nervous person but this is my brother

I get to the group I stand behind my brother and tap him On his shoulder he turns around oh my god it's too late now...

˜"*°•.˜"*°• ____________________•°*"˜.•°*"˜

Ａｕｔｈｏｒ ｎｏｔｅ

Hiii here’s chapter two of silent whispers I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you do please go check out this book and my other two on Wattpad @pouges4life_ I’d really appreciate it 🫶🏻

[pankowkisses]

Silent whispers

CHAPTER ONE (the truth)

𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱

Love... love the type of feeling that's meant to make you feel warm and fuzzy yet for me I've never felt that I've never understood what love is.. how is Ito possible to love someone.. how is someone meant to love me am I even worthy of being loved , is it possible for people to feel that way about someone like me when no one has ever loved me in my whole 23 years of life , my exes never really loved me, my friends never loved me except haven , my foster families never loved me except Mrs Watson , heck even my birth family never loved me they put me in foster care they never wanted me, I've always wanted to know more about my birth parents but I never knew where to even begin until now where I'm currently sat in my small living room in my apartment with these small ,nagging feeling in my heart for ages like I should know something that I don't I've tried making these feelings disappear into the abyss of my mind, no such luck in making those thoughts go away

Which leads me to where I am currently holding the phone which is pressed to my ear the orphanage of Maryland is on the other line I'm trying to get a hold of my files from when my birth parents put me in the foster system , I've been in and out of different foster families for years I've only ever had one family I really liked which was Mrs Watson she was a lovely woman , she couldn't have children herself so she was a foster parent, all the other foster homes I had was horrible I was treated like garbage, emotionally abused me sometimes it got physical , I had to hide the bruises sometimes when everything got physical

I've been on the phone for an hour and they only told me my birth moms name so I google her name which is Jennifer canning which I get confused with how my birth moms name is is different to mine because I've been told that I have my birth name stokes I dig a little deeper as I'm going through her instagram haven my best since second grade comes walking through our shared apartment door

"Hey have you heard the old mills hiring?" Haven asks oblivious to the fact that I'm going through my birth mother's instagram feed as I'm going through I stop on a picture of a photo of a guy who looks similar to me.. the caption says

"so proud of my son" i possibly have a brother i feel my heart rate spike in anxiety of knowing that i have a brother who looks older than me and i was put in foster care when i could have had a happy life with my biological family not the hell I've been through "haves look" i say in a quite breath

"What's wrong Kenz?" She asks curiously I'm still looking at the post shocked

"I've been doing research on my birth mom today the orphanage gave me her name so I went on her instagram and saw a picture of her and a guy who looks like me but older and the caption says "so proud of my son" I think I have a brother haves"I say showing her my laptop where the photo is

"Holy moly he looks so much like you is he tagged?" haven tells me

"No he isn't" I say

"Well here's what we're gonna do right? We're gonna go to old mill tomorrow and see if they have a job for you since the bookstore closed down and we'll go from they're with the long lost brother situation yeah" haven asks me

"yeah thank you" I say hugging her

we decide to order takeout haven wanted a Chinese which is what we ordered I decided to try and push the long lost family dramatics to the back of my mind locking it away we put on the Gilmore girls and watch that while waiting for our food

Once the foods been delivered we begin eating when haven brings up the subject that I've been trying to avoid in my own thoughts

"So if you have a brother why did they put you in care?" Haves asks me like I know the answer to that when in reality I don't have any more of a clue then she does I have more questions going through my head right now then I ever thought was possible "I don't know all I know is they couldn't have loved me they kept my brother and gave me up I had a shitty life because my birth parents decided they never wanted me" I say eating some food

"How do you think you'll be able to contact them?" Haven asks me the question I've thought about a million times since I heard my birth moms name and saw that photo or my possibly brother

"I honestly don't know I'm scared that they won't believe me or that they'll just turn me away I mean I'm used to it by now" I say emotionless which is the complete opposite of what I'm feeling currently I'm feeling like I'm nothing, like it's pointless in living when I wasn't even wanted by my biological parents and most of my foster parents, that can make a girl feel like absolute shit

"You should dm her" haven says which makes me think about it and she's right I nod and grab my phone I search her up and click dm

" i can't do it" I say that scared that my hands are shaking

"You can" haven says putting her arm on my should as I type out a little message to my birth mom and send it

"Done it" I say with a sigh

"That's the first step Mac" haven says which makes me nod we continue watching Gilmore girls but I can't seem to stop all these thoughts that are running circles around my mind how the hell  did I never know I had a brother , why did my parents put me in care god the amount of questions I have right now...

【Ｔｈｅ　ｄｍ】

@𝓀𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓏𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒶 𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝓉𝑜 @𝒿𝑒𝓃𝓃𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝟦

𝐻𝒾 𝐼'𝓂 𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓈

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓂?

˜"*°•.˜"*°• ____________________•°*"˜.•°*"˜

Ａｕｔｈｏｒ ｎｏｔｅ

Hi y’all here’s the first chapter of silent whispers you guys voted that I should post them on here if you guys also wanted you can also read this story on Wattpad along with my other two! if you’d like my Wattpad is @pouges4life_ I hope you enjoy this