#mainly drew this to have reference colours for all of them since the canon colours are so light/washed out. and to promote my headcanons

[battry-acid]

BEHOLD! my fire emblem three bitches

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Characters for the headcanon thing: Jason Gideon, Aaron Hotchner, Penelope Garcia

Ooh, nice choices, thanks!

Jason Gideon

Headcanon A- what I think realistically:

Sometimes, Gideon will just randomly wander into Hotch’s office (without bothering to knock or check if Hotch is busy) and start monologuing about whatever it is he’s trying to think through. He’s not really expecting Hotch to listen, he just doesn’t want to be That Guy who talks to his plants or his books or his empty office. Unless he’s dealing with emotions, in which case he’ll talk to himself for hours, but if it’s work stuff he’ll monologue at Hotch.

Headcanon B- what I think is fucking hilarious:

The flight home after a case has been delayed more than once because Gideon wandered off to go birdwatching and lost track of the time. The second time it happened, Hotch got a call from a very sheepish Gideon explaining that he’d climbed a tree in order to get a better look at a nest and gotten stuck, and could Hotch please come and rescue him and maybe not tell the others? So naturally, Hotch brought the whole team.

Headcanon C- what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends:

Quite often, during his roadtrip of angst, Gideon would end up being asked about his family by random strangers and sometimes, when he talked about his son, he was referring to Steven. But a lot of the time, more often than he’d care to admit to himself, he ended up talking about Reid instead.

Headcanon D- what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway:

He might not have re-established contact with the team after running away leaving, but I like to think that Gideon checked up on Elle. Either from afar or by tracking her down and spending time with her in person, he made sure that she was okay.

Also, dammit, there’s no way he didn’t acknowledge Haley’s death in some way. He didn’t show up to the funeral because it would probably have caused a scene and he’s not really one for gestures like leaving flowers, but he at least sent Hotch a letter.

Aaron Hotchner

Headcanon A- what I think realistically:

Hotch is actually surprisingly good at giving gifts, and that’s because he spends a lot of time just listening to people and passively learning about them. The team are frequently surprised at just how thoughtful some of their Christmas presents from him are, especially because a lot of the time he’ll get them things they’re almost certain they never mentioned having an interest in. He writes very generic cards, though, because he’s a bit awkward when it comes to articulating emotions.

Headcanon B- what I think is fucking hilarious:

Garcia once caught Hotch singing “The Star-Spangled Man With A Plan” to himself under his breath after the second time he and Jack went to see Captain America: The First Avenger, and she hasn’t let him live it down ever since. Which isn’t to say that she teases him about it; rather, she keeps singing it at him over the phone and claims she won’t stop until he joins in. She even got the whole team to agree to serenade him on the plane one time. Hotch keeps refusing to sing while the others are around, but he will hum the song quietly when it’s just him and Garcia, and then act innocent when she points it out. This goes on for months.

Headcanon C- what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends:

Hotch looks like his dad. Mrs Hotchner was blonde and blue-eyed and she’s the one that Sean takes after, but Hotch got his dark hair and brown eyes from their dad. And since Mr Hotchner died at 47 (when Hotch was in his teens), most of Hotch’s memories of his dad have the man looking pretty much the same age as Hotch did for most of the show. (Read: Jack’s early childhood.) So sometimes looking in the mirror is not so fun.

Headcanon D- what would never work with canon but the canon is shit wrong so I believe it anyway:

Look. I know there’s a flashback in s7 that shows Hotch with the same haircut in 1997 as he had in 2012, but I know in my heart that he had silly floppy ‘90s hair. He just did.

Penelope Garcia

Headcanon A- what I think realistically:

Garcia has entire sets of folders within folders on her computer full of cute and/or funny animal pictures and videos, organised by various criteria including exactly how much they’re likely to improve her mood. Sometimes, after particularly rough cases, she’ll send her current favourites to everyone’s phones, tailored, of course, to each team member’s personal preference. For instance, Emily gets a lot of cat videos, Rossi gets funny birds (especially those that swear), Morgan gets mainly dogs, and JJ (who grew up on a farm) gets farm animals. Reid usually gets interesting videos rather than funny ones, because it’s hard to predict whether his sense of humour will be on the right page, and it made Garcia’s week when she took a calculated risk and decided to send Hotch some cat-shaming photos and immediately got three different text messages telling her to do it again because he had burst out laughing on the jet.

Headcanon B- what I think is fucking hilarious:

Garcia has made it her mission in life to get every member of the team to watch at least one movie with her that she knows they’d like but they’d never watch on their own in a million years. She got Hotch to watch Legally Blonde one evening that they were both working late, but her crowning achievement has to be the time that Rossi wandered in on her watching Frozen on a slow day and pulled up a chair. He made her promise not to tell anyone how into it he got (he has a reputation for preferring the classic Disney films, after all), and Garcia has kept that promise. However, this has not stopped her from telling him, on numerous occasions, to just “let it go…” The look on his face every time she does it around the rest of the team is priceless.

Headcanon C- what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends:

Garcia has a program written on her computer intended to track down Elle and Gideon, because she just couldn’t let the two of them leave without some way of finding them again. Sometimes, when she’s missing them, she’ll scroll through the code, or have another go at optimising it. She’s never run it.

Headcanon D- what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway:

Jack Hotchner knows Garcia as “Auntie Penelope”. I don’t care that they’ve never been shown to have much of a relationship onscreen, Jack loves his Auntie Penelope and always used to draw her pictures when he knew he’d be visiting his dad’s work. A crayon drawing he did of Garcia as a fairy princess stayed in her office for years and eventually, when Jack decreed it “terrible” and drew her a replacement (now in coloured pencil, because “crayons are for little kids”), gained a fancy frame and was relocated to her bedroom.