#mainly stuff where we are cuddling cuz I’m soft

[bluethelee]

I really have gotta stop reading tword fics randomly expecting to have no reaction at all /lh

[mamasit-a]

don’t even know where to start.

i guess i’ll start when it all started.

I was staying in Washington for a month for work and while i was there me and ray were discussing a possible time where he would have sex with a girl while i was away. I was totally fine with this, surprisingly. i didn’t feel pressured by him or the thought of it. it was all my choice and i was excited to see where this would go. time goes on and ray’s found someone who was interested, it all happened so fast, and i liked it. So he tells me their plans and they eventually meet up. it went really well despite some points where i felt kinda insecure, but it was mainly because our schedules were completely opposite so communication wasn’t the best. The next day we talk about it and it was really great. just a little jealousy but in a good way. i just wish i was there to experience it with them as well.

I get back home 3 weeks later and we made plans for me to meet this girl, H, and we would have a threesome with ray. I was super excited because we haven’t had a three some in a minute. It’s always that we meet up with a girl who agrees to be with me and ray, we do it, eat out, and then it’s over. we even stay friends afterward. it’s really beautiful to have certain connections with people..but this time was different..

We drive an hour away to Petaluma to go see her at this house that she’s watching for a friend. it was beautiful, my mind still calm at this point. I was about to meet this girl for the first time, I didn’t really know what she really looked like. I’ve seen her in pictures, but i didn’t know how tall she was or how her voice would sound. i was kinda nervous but i kept telling myself be yourself. I walked up the steps and i had seen her there, I smiled cuz she was really pretty and i hugged her and her shoulders were so soft. she was my height and she had a really distinctive laugh. it was cute, didn’t expect it. we walked in and put our stuff away because we were staying the night. soon after, we left to get food and go grocery shopping for dinner. i’m feeling fine cause i’m being myself and she seems compatible with our sense of humor so it was really easy to talk to her. just overall good feels when with her.. this is when i started to get really thrown offf. the more time that went on, i observed how gentle and kind and loving she was and it made my mind and heart feel weird. i couldn’t put my finger on it. but, now that i’ve had some time to reflect on that day, it was like when you see someone for the first time and you..figure out that you like them. i liked her as a person and i knew i wanted to be friends with her, but..this was the first time i’ve ever felt something more for a woman. I knew i had a sexual attraction to women, but i’ve never experienced any deeper feeling. this was like never before and it freaked me the fuck out. it still scares me. my thoughts were paralyzing, i felt like my whole world got thrown upside down. like i forgot everything i knew. later that day..everything went down. i won’t talk to much into detail. i just remember vividly thinking that i want to get to know her more and listen to her talk and laugh. i wanted to be close to her in some way. i was feeling a type of way that i didn’t know i was capable of. i didn’t know a woman could make my heart race the same way it does for ray if that makes sense. as the days went by, i tried to bury these feelings so deep down and not have them see the light because i’m married..i can’t like another person in that way. what am i to do?? do i tell ray?? how will he take it?? will he think i’ll leave him?? i can’t tell him!!! but i have to because i cant do this alone. I soon told him because I could feel myself distancing myself and not giving him my full attention. it was going to affect us and i couldn’t have that. I told him. He laughed and told me it was okay and that he was happy that i told him..and i did too. my chest felt so much lighter i feel like i could breathe again. It was crazy to see how much it had an affect over me. He told me to explore this feeling as long as i know i have my wife everyday for the rest of my life. i told him yes. because this was true. there was nothing that was gonna come in between me and ray. and i knew all my heart was with him. the days go on..i played with possibilities.

I like her, what now?

I was overwhelmed by her kindness, i’m not as gay as i thought i was.

and many other thoughts. but i’ve been playing with “i like her”so i’m gonna act like i like her. and it’s made me a mess. i thought about her and when i was gonna see her next so that i could play with this thought and really just find out what my true feelings are.

i just saw her last night and i was fine surprisingly, i was a mess the whole day. nauseous, sick, overthinking. ugh just terrible.

then i saw her and i was myself again. but i saw her differently. i wanted to talk and talk forever with her, unfortunately i was so tired that i could barely comprehend anything. i hope i get another chance to talk with her. she cried about soemthing yesterday and so i hugged her to comfort her. i wanted to grab her face and tell her she was beautiful and that everything was gonna be okay and kiss her so softly. but my body wouldn’t let me. it was the most frustrating thing. later on, we were on the couch and i slowly got closer to her and she seemed to be really interested in that. i got closer to her, i laid my head on her chest and she held my hand, i could hear her heart beating really fast. this made me really nervous. i wanted to show her so much affection, but i was too fucking nervous, no other girl has made me feel this way. i started to grab and caress her leg and she let me. i started getting tired so i told her and ray i was gonna go to bed. they followed me and i was expecting to lay with H, but that didn’t happen. i thought ray knew tahts what i wanted and i was too scared to ask for that. i probably could’ve but i wanted him to help me out since i was such a wreck about this whole thing. i slept the whole night on the edge of the bed while ray and H cuddled. it should’ve been me. i wanted to hold her..i wanted to kiss her. and i hate that i didn’t have that opportunity. so here i am still questioning what it is i’m feeling..i feel like last night should’ve went so differently. certain things i should’ve done to help me figure this out. ray didn’t help and so i’m a little upset but that’s not his fault. it’s whatever. i got like 3 hours of sleep fuck me.

[tenseoyong]

A-Z NSFW: Chen

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare  This entire post is going to go in the complete opposite direction of this lmao but of course he’s going to take care of you well afterwards. Lesson learned kids, if anyone you’re with brushes off aftercare, kick their ass to the curb, cuz they don’t care about you. Chen’s a shower and relax together, wash each other gently kind of aftercare guy. Plus he wants to cuddle afterwards and no one wants sticky, smelly, gross cuddles.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)  I’m not gonna even try and pretend I don’t think Chen is the most perverted of the bunch lmao he always has his hands on your chest. Just...fun to touch tbh. Chen’s abs are coming in pretty nicely, I sure he’s pretty proud of them, his muscles in general are his favorite thing about himself although we all knows its his forehead

C = Cum  Nana: oh he’s a nasty little shit. He’s that fucker than jizzes in your goddamn hair and you have to wash it as quick as you can before it dries and it looks like your entire scalp is just shedding...

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)  Chen really wants to bring it up, because sex is pretty open between you two and all, so he’s not really ashamed, just doesn’t know how to throw it out there, especially since he’s normally the pretty dom one in the bedroom. He likes the idea of being blindfolded and handing the reigns over to you so he has no idea what you’re up to or will do next. But he will tell you...soon...maybe....

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Man I don’t trust his hoe ass....I feel like he’s done stuff already but idk, either way, he knows too fucking much and it makes me nervous. He’s a grown man, I doubt he’s never heard of porn, and the fucking dick popping EXO does, he knows what he’s up to.

F = Favorite position While he’s kinky, he’s a pretty simple man, plain missionary with your legs tossed over his shoulders is a good go-to for him. Easy position for him to have fun, and you’re kind of tramped a bit, seeing as you’re literally folded in half under his body. You’ll probably need to stretch before hand....I tried putting my leg behind my head the other day cuz I could when I was a kid and I was sure I was going to have to amputate my leg...

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Chen’s kind of a clown, but I think he gets pretty serious and into his ‘character’ in the bedroom. He’s not the soft and floofy Jongdae he usually is, he’s full blown Chen behind closed doors.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they) His pits are wild smh I weirdly don’t think he trims or anything down there, I don’t know why, but he just gives me the vibes that he just lets it run free and have a life of its own....

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Chen’s another member that makes up for his lack of romance in the bedroom in your non-sexual relationship. Of course there’s times he tones it back and really shows you his love; makes love to you rather than fucking. But on the norm, he’s a pretty wild man in the sack.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation) Pfff who are we playing, Chen jerks off like mad. But lord knows he can’t make a mess in the dorm room with Xiu being his roomie or the older would literally kill him. He takes shelter in the bathroom and handles business like anyone else.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) His secret is he wants to be blindfolded, mainly because you look and react so well when he blindfolds you. He loves seeing your body relaxed and tense all at the same time, never knowing where he is or what he’ll do next; never knowing what he’ll touch next. Watching your skin prickle and your body flinch and you squirm when he brushes a feather against your skin is just art to him.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) [See Risk] Bedroom/Bathroom are really the only two options in his mind, but being that he’s very adventurous with positions, the bathroom isn’t really safe so the bed is pretty much where most of the magic happens.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Chen’s usually pretty blunt with his advances, there’s no sly looks or catching on that you touching his arms means you want to fuck, he just straight out says, “I want to fuck”, and life goes on. But he likes how subtle you try to be, especially when the boys are around, your light touch on his thigh until he turns his attention to you and he can see your eyes clouded with lust. The idea of what will happen later in his mind while you wear that innocent face, it really gets his boner party going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) [Plays into Risk] Chen’s a kink freak and we all know this, but he doesn’t like anyone else but you knowing it, so he’s not here for leaving the safety and privacy of the locked bedroom. Under no circumstances will he leave the bathroom or bedroom, don’t even try.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Do I....do I have to say anything else?

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) I feel like Chen’s a...humper if that makes sense, he’s pretty fast and hard, but he’s not full blown thrusting into you, more like quick pumps because he likes having your body close to his and doesn’t really want to pull away and lose that contact, even for a second.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) While he’s a horny pup, he’s ready and willing to go, unless you want a quickie I don’t see him doing them much. He likes to please you and stretch out the foreplay and tease you for as long as humanly possible. It’s arguably his favorite part of sex, having you all hot and squirming for him, so if that’s cut out of the equation for a quickie, he’s not that thrilled. Quickies do happen frequently though, back stage at concerts or before he has to leave for his schedule, but he’s not too impressed with them. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) I feel like he’s a guy that lives by the kamasutra book, he wants to try a lot of stuff, almost anything just once to see what the point is. He’s not very risky with places, like he doesn’t like leaving the bedroom, but doing things with you, he’s all ears....or dick...whatever you wanna say.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Nana says he’s fuck happy. So basically she says that he’s a quick fuck, dick in a hole only lasts a few minutes, 10 minutes tops, but he’s up and ready for another round so quick you don’t know what’s going on. So Chen’s stamina is pretty high...almost unusually high....

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) I don’t trust him....he gives me the vibe of he’s so nasty that you don’t need toys, but he’s such a little shit that I feel like he collects the shit like pokemon? He’s definitely has handcuffs, vibrators, specific silk ties he likes the cool feel on, a few feathers.....

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s....a little fucking shit.....I can see him teasing you to the point you’re literally crying. Like he ain’t stopping unless you use the safe word to tell him to fuck you or fuck off.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) Umm high note master Kim Jongdae? It sounds like a fucking opera in that bedroom tf ?? Chen’s a very loud moaner...The whole damn town, let alone the members will hear you and him, I’d invest into some ear plugs if I was you....

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Chen’s a pretty kinky fucker in my mind...and we all know for a fact he’s going to want to try some weird ass position. The first time a legit cramp set in from the stretch, he went into a full state of panic, you had to literally pry the phone from his hands to stop him from calling an ambulance. For someone that dances and works out, he really didn’t grasp the concept of mid-sex cramps. God help him.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) Lmao I hate my grandma.....okay here we fckin go. I asked my 60 year old Nana and she said “he’s like the package of hot dogs you get on sale because one’s kinda fucked up. He’s the fucked up one.” aka in her mind, means that he’s slightly below average in length, and more narrow/slender than typical, but he’s just a horn dog that he’ll “hump you into next week” bye

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Nana says, and I quote, Chen is a “horny dog that needs his nutters snipped so he calms the fck down”. And Nana’s word is law. Chen’s sex drive is out of this world, he needs to see a doctor and get some pills to mellow his ass out tbh.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) I think Chen is kind of a lazy guy, after sex he’s pretty fckin beat, and ready to just shower and hit the hay. So he falls asleep pretty fast, but tbh he’s just eager to wake up and jump your bones again.