#makes me think of that Brianna Wiest quote

[paulic]

remember when John told Paul he was leaving the Beatles and Paul wrote nothing but “THE END” in his diary? I have so much to say about this

[oldbutnotyetwise]

Purpose, Belonging, and Love

     I am a collector of quotes, ponderences and written words of wisdom.  You know the kind, where your reading a book and then suddenly what you are reading hits you right between the eyes, or perhaps in the heart.  You go back and reread that last sentence or paragraph again after which you just close the book and stare off into space and let what you have just read seep into your soul where it will be chewed on, pondered, perhaps expanded on and hopefully take root.

     My daughter knows I am a ponderer and we exchanged books, as per our usual Christmas Eve tradition.  The Book she gave me was 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest.  If I am being honest the book isn’t really changing the way I think, but I did run across the following gem while reading it.  

     “Some of the statistically happiest countries in the world are nearly impoverished.  Some of the most notable and peaceful individuals to grace this Earth died with only a few cents too their name.  The commonality is a sense of purpose, belonging, and love; things you can choose to feel and cultivate, regardless of physical/material circumstances.”

     Now I don’t know what you thought when you heard that, but I thought to myself that is some simple but profound wisdom.  I liked it and found myself in total agreement with it.  A sense of purpose, belonging and love, that to me sounds like a good recipe for a successful and happy life.

     Now I have been blessed to have been born in Canada, into a simple middle class family and along the way I had some good opportunities that I was able to take advantage of and make a good life for myself and my family.  I was fortunate that I had a sense of purpose in my life, I had a sense of belonging and I gave and received an abundant amount of love.

     So if Canada is truly such an advanced country, with a highly educated population why is it that none of the commercials that you see or hear encourage you to pursue purpose, belonging and love?  No the commercials tell you that you want, no you need, bigger, better, more expensive and the majority of the population buy into that and forever chase that golden carrot.  Shouldn’t we all be smarter than that?  Of course trying to sell purpose, belonging and love would not be profitable, and in this world it seems to be all about making money.

      I spent thirty-one years in an organization that had a large amount of people who were driven to chase promotion, get more prestige, earn more money, get a bigger pension.  I often looked at some of these people who spent all their time doing volunteer work, going to night school, getting degrees, and joining organizations that would assist their promotional prospects, their main focus was getting ahead at work, and many of them did.  You might think I envied these people but I didn’t.  I felt sorry for them because while they were busy chasing promotion their children grew up with what must have felt like an absentee parent.  Their spouse or partner carried the burden of looking after children and the home.  One day they retire with their big pension, to a home that is now empty because their children are all grown and gone, and their spouse left long ago because they were lonely and tired of doing everything on their own.  Do these people have anything that is desirable or valuable, or do they just have a rich bank account and an empty life?  

     Maybe we could learn something from those young children whose parent spends all kinds of money on a big fancy gift and the young child is more interested in playing with the empty box then the expensive toy that came in it.  Hey parents let me let you in on a secret, your children savour time with their parents, that is worth more than any toy you could buy them.  Enjoy it before the opportunity is gone……Sorry, I got distracted there for a minute, a song started playing in my head, it was Harry Chapin singing “The Cat’s In The Cradle”.

     I’ve written about this search for happiness before, and I probably will again.  Why is happiness so elusive for so many people?  How can the Advertising Industry do such a good job at distracting us from true happiness and send us chasing an illusion that they themselves have created?  Flashing lights, big billboards, commercials, and the incessant advertising that intrudes into every corner of our life, really the only way to escape it is to disconnect from the world.  I think that we would all be wise to do that from time to time.  Here is an idea, leave your phone at home, go for a walk in the woods, listen to nature, see nature, feel nature, breath deeply and take pleasure in that peace and quiet that is a rare commodity in this busy, loud, expensive world of ours.  Remember doing this is free, you won’t find better value anywhere.

     In closing I would like to share another quote here, it is from Alan Lakein, “Time is life.  It is irreversible and irreplaceable.  To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it.”  Wouldn’t this world be such a better place if we could just get people to understand that time is life’s most valuable commodity, not money.  Take it from someone who’s time is running out, the importance of money and things pales in comparison to the joy of spending time with your loved ones.  

     I think my definition of rich will be someone who has purpose, belonging and love….using that definition would you be rich?  Who is the poorest rich person that you know?  

     Purpose, Belonging and Love, remember that.

[morsusmandis]

Hello, Friend. Thoughtful responsibility of owning one's shit, by Brianna West among others, as quoted below, for you, as per the latent thought provoking content. (My personal favorite being that of Viola Davis with her forgiving nature towards her own emotional nurturance) ,,,

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness. It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people. It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it. Escaping from booze, drugs, nicotine, draining environments and sticking strongly to one's goals, so that the life has gained formal structure and deep enjoyment. The ones who obsessed over the vision of their life got what they wanted. The ones that learned that only with deep support and love from closed ones, they can shield properly to build a strong sense of impersonal union within the community. Cause when the nurse held the boy's hand, he felt no pain. He was not alone. Namaste

I am amazed and so so glad at the same time:I thought noone reads what I am writing and I allow myself to be controlled by my Emotional Mind here for needed expression

I must be frank:this quote, it did not strike me. I was reading it a few times in the past days and I find it wrong on many levels. I googled the author and it seems like she is a guidebooks author, right? Maybe because I am a psychologist myself I do not see those things this way. No specialist of human behaviors and minds would call someone's life ,,unreasonable" because of ,,liquor and procrastination' because both are not unhealthy just by themselves but how you use it or from what it does stop you, this might be unhealthy. ,,Being a hero of your life" just stands weird there, especially with ,,meeting your own needs and being dependent". Brianna West (Wiest?) would benefit a lot from reading about EFT Therapy and attachment theory in general.

Part about salt baths and chocolate cake is little bit terrifying but if she is describing OCPD or not good relationship with eating then it might look just like that.

Booze, drugs and nicotine are all for people. If someone has problems with overdose or has genetic predispositions:I think that the best advise would be to either avoid mostly or just stop doing. I would love to know what draining environment is though:supposely most environments nowadays. I wonder what will be the advice to that. I personally don't know myself.

I see the contradictions in this quote and that what gets me: obsessed with the vision of their life got what they wanted.

Me daily, non-specialist, shivers a little. I do not like the energy that comes from this quote. It's pushy and uncomfortable. Maybe because I intuitively like things in the middle. I do not believe that your life must be structured to be happy and achieve what you want. I choose to believe that you can be your authentic self, sometimes messy and sloppy, sometimes weak (some might say), sometimes a fool. But to be able to build healthy, fulfilling relationships with others some need meds combined with therapy. Maybe most of us. And this quote about therapy is rather misguided:I think most of us know that it's not only daily life.

I made a post about particular people, particular repetetive behavior. I met those people, I lost many nerves on people like this-hell!- I am sure I thought similar things throughout my life, at some point in the past. You can love yourself, nurture your inner child, do yoga, eat raw fruits and do some quickstep learning five languages but it does not change the fact that if you can't mantain basic human relationships you're not healthy. If you constantly hurt people you're not healthy. If you only raise yourself out of hatred you're not healthy. We need love, we need attention, we need friendships and lovers and closed ones, partners. If you're not healthy go see someone. Do not pretend that you know how to treat yourself to be healthy. Love yourself, break the cycle.

I remember that I was having a conversation with my ex therapist once about something very delicate, probably my mother I think and she was trying to stop me from intellectualizing. Her words: ,,I am your prefrontal cortex " changed everything for me. You get it? Combining your intellect with emotions when you're coming from certain background is heeeeelllaaa hard for so many reasons: and I am still entitled, I have the knowledge and I am bright. It meant, in my opinion, less than you might think it did. And yet, even with my education in believe, I would not stay in therapy if not for falling in love with my partner. Because I knew that otherwise it would be unhealthy and I didn't want it. That, for me, is taking responsibility. I would go in a heartbeat if I hurt my friends too.

I advise being real and not being a cunt, always

[myread4change]

Book #106: - Completed: 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think – Brianna Wiest I take book suggestions from the books, and articles I read. Titles of chapters of this book got my attention and so I got it. The book contains ideas in form of short 101 essays. Our beliefs form as we grow and learn from instruction, observation, or first-hand experience. The best advantages of reading books are, it allows us to question those beliefs and encourage us to retain only what serves our growth. This book provides many great ideas and encourages us to question many things we believe. Few Key Points – • So much of our inner turmoil is the result of conducting a life we don’t inherently desire, only because we have accepted an inner narrative of normal and ideal without ever realizing it. • People delay action once they know the truth, and the interim between knowing and doing is the space where suffering thrives. • Everything is hard, but you choose your hard. You choose what’s worth it. You don’t choose whether or not you’ll suffer, but you do choose what you want to suffer for. • We don’t remember years, we remember moments. The things I’m meant to have will simply come to me. All I am responsible for is making sure I’m ready. • Unfortunately, nothing and nobody can hand you your happiness. Fortunately, nothing and nobody can take it away. • We take our lives way too seriously. In a few hundred years, most people will be completely forgotten. That’s not depressing, that is liberating. Few Quotes – 1. Accomplishing goals is not success. How much you expand in the process is. 2. Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands. 3. The heart will tell you what; the mind will tell you how. Let them stay in their corners of expertise. 4. Unfortunately, nothing and nobody can hand you your happiness. Fortunately, nothing and nobody can take it away.

[tiffanytheswiftie]

So every year on my birthday I kind of like to recap my year, and since I'm turning 29, I decided to model this year's after the Elle article Taylor Swift did at 29 entitled "30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30."

@taylorswift @taylornation

1. It's okay if people don't get my interests.

Over the years, I sometimes tried to hide my interests because I was worried people would think they were weird or wouldn’t understand them. It always seemed like a lot of my interests fell out of the “ordinary” interests of those around me. But I’ve learned that’s okay, and it’s okay if people don’t get it. If I enjoy it, that’s all that matters. Like the song says, if it makes me happy, it can’t be that bad.

2. I can love my body while also wanting to make it healthier/look better.

I have struggled with body image and my weight for the majority of my life, and I have always believed the biggest struggle was the mental aspect of it all. I thought I could only appreciate my body once it got to how I wanted it to look (which, it never has). I hated it. However, I realize now that the best way to improve it, is to love it, and appreciate it for what it does for me already.

3. It's not malicious to cut out toxic people.

Cutting out toxic people is hard, but necessary. I’m not calling someone up and saying, “I’m never talking to you again,” or completely ghosting them, however I no longer involve them in most aspects of my life. It’s freeing and better for my mental health.

4. Traveling is so important.

It’s no secret that I love traveling. I want to visit every continent (minus Antarctica), experience different cultures, see history, and experience new things. It’s important to open up my mind and broaden my horizons, and something I recommend everyone to do. It’s good to meet people from all over the world who live different lives and come from different lifestyles and philosophies. Plus, traveling is just so fun! Like Donna says in Mamma Mia 2, “life is short, and the world is wide, I want to make some memories.”

5. My path can and will change often.

When I first started trying to decide on a major for college, I seriously thought about at least 12 different career paths. And what I chose wasn’t even included in those at the time. Point is, my path will change often. My dreams will change often. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I failed, it just means my path has shifted onto something different. My initial dream may have just been setting me up to go down a certain path.

6. My life isn't on a timeline.

Honestly this is probably the hardest lesson I had to learn. Everyone, myself included, seems to put life on a timeline. I thought by a certain age I had to have a degree, I had to be married, I had to have kids, I had to have traveled to a certain amount of places, etc. and if I didn’t then it just wouldn’t happen. I hear people talk about other people and where they are in life. But no one’s life is on a timeline, and everyone’s big moments will happen differently. The only time it’s ever really “too late” is when I’m dead. And I’m not dead. I’m very much alive.

7. I need to be able to look forward to things.

Sometimes life can seem monotonous. Every day looks the same, and it can really wear me down. I always try to make sure I have something to look forward to. It could be something big, like a trip or Christmas, or something small, like watching a new movie. Either way, I keep a countdown app in my phone, and I look at it on days I feel like my life is doing nothing. I always make sure there’s something I can look forward to.

8. It's possible to be both brave and terrified.

My mantra in life has always been “Fearless.” I got it from a Taylor Swift quote when I was about 17 years old that says, “Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” While I’ve always loved that quote and have used that word to overcome fears, it took me awhile to actually be able to fully embrace the idea of being fearless.

9. Water is good for the soul.

Drink water. It’s not only good for the soul, it’s good for staying alive. Hydrate before you die-drate. There’s nothing more satisfying then getting a big gulp of cool water.

10. I shouldn't care what people think of me.

This is something we’re preached our entire lives, yet often we still worry about the people who judge us. And that’s crazy. I only get one life and going through it worried about what someone thinks of me is a stupid way to live.

I think I can best sum this lesson up with the words from Sebastian Stan in Houston, “Don’t care about what other people say about you, just really don’t give a damn…you have to ultimately go ‘I’m doing this’ and people aren’t going to like that. Not everyone’s going to like what I do. So…who gives a f***? You know, if it feels good to you, and you’re helping somebody, or you’re not harming anybody, you’re being kind, you’re being considerate, then that’s it. That’s all you need.”

11. If someone judges me for my appearance, they are the ones with a problem.

One thing that has hindered me through the years is my fear of someone judging my appearance. I’ve let it affect every aspect of my life. For so long, I wouldn’t go to certain events, talk to certain people, participate in certain activities, travel certain places, date, go to restaurants, do fun things like dancing or swimming, etc. (and some I still don’t) because of being afraid people would judge how much fat is on my body. And I recognize that’s not a good way to go through life, and if someone judges me for that, they are the ones with the issue, not me. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “Focus on what your body does more than what it looks like doing it.” And I’ve been trying to live those words.

12. I need to live in the present, not the future.

I tend to freak myself out by thinking either too far ahead or about things that haven’t (and might not) even happen. I think about what age I’ll be in 10, 20, 30 years. I’ll think about what might go wrong with something at some point. It’s not healthy, I will drive myself crazy overthinking about this. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to live in the now. It’s good to have future plans or be prepared for the future, but never forget to live in the present. Focus on the now. Live now.

13. It's good to try different things to figure out if I'm interested or not.

It’s so good to try different things out to discover if it’s something I enjoy or not, something I want to pursue or not, etc. It’s so easy to sign up for a class, look up a tutorial, or just get out and try. I have tried a lot of things in my life that ended up not being what I decided to put all of my energy into, but that’s a good thing. I don’t have to ask myself “what if?” and some of it I still enjoy doing as a hobby.

14. Writing is good for my mental health.

If you follow me on any social media, or are reading this right now, then you probably know that I tend to write things out often. I enjoy writing. It’s one of the ways I express myself, and it’s good for me. It’s therapeutic. I write when I’m excited, happy, or sad. I write out poetry or songs or just short little essays. I enjoy it, a lot, and I’m glad I’ve embraced it.

15. Read as much as possible.

Reading is good for so many reasons. It makes me smarter, it makes my brain more active, and it takes me into different worlds. It also lets me experience things or understand things I might not have otherwise. It helps to stop my mind to slow down and focus on one thing. Reading is important for everyone. It can be a novel, a short story, a magazine, whatever. Just read.

16. A good night's sleep can make a huge difference.

Trying to get a good night’s sleep just makes the next day better and is good for my mental and physical health overall. I’ve had crazy sleep schedules, sometimes from work hours but mostly because I’m an anxious night owl who pushed myself to stay awake and watch movies rather than going to sleep. I honestly feel better now that I’ve got myself on a better sleep schedule.

17. I should push myself out of my comfort zone but also know my limits.

I would have missed out on a lot if I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I hope to do it even more in this next decade. It’s good to run towards some of the things that terrify but fascinate me. However, it’s also good to know that everyone has limits. It’s good if I can recognize situations or places that always make me feel uncomfortable and to try and keep myself out of that environment.

18. Music and concerts are therapeutic.

Music has been a part of so many aspects of my life (as it is for many). It’s played on road trips, at parties, at big life events, in my room, in the movies I love watching, and the list goes on. It’s no surprise that music is therapeutic and something so many people can relate to and love. One of my favorite parts about music is getting to go to concerts. Taylor Swift, Julia Michaels, Aly & AJ, Miranda Lambert, Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and Selena Gomez are just some of the artists I’ve been lucky enough to see in my life, and whose concerts let me really let loose, and just be in the moment and feel all the feelings. And that’s great, and something I hope I get to experience quite often in the next decade and beyond.

19. It's important to be knowledgeable about the world.

This can be looked at in two different ways.

On one hand, learning about other cultures and places is interesting and important on opening up the mind and broadening horizons (kind of like what I stated about traveling). It’s cool to see how people live, talk, what customs they have, etc. and to recognize that while we’re all different, we also all have a lot of things in common.

On the other hand, it’s important to be knowledgeable of the issues in the world. It’s good to know what big concerns there are and learning about them so I can see where I stand on it as well as knowing what I can do to help people. For example, with refugee crisis, knowing what is going on in their country and what they are facing so I can look into what I can do to help provide assistance (such as donating, raising awareness, praying, etc. We can all do something). It’s important.

20. Be active in politics and be respectful with politics.

Being active in politics is vital to helping shape the present and future. Being educated about issues, empathizing with people, being aware, opening up my world to be bigger, and having an open mind is all important when approaching politics. It’s also imperative that I make sure I am always respectful when doing this. If I disagree with someone, I don’t attack them. If someone attacks me, I ignore them. If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Don’t play stupid games.

21. Dog videos and cat videos will always make me feel better.

There’s not much to say about this except it’ll always make me happy and dogs and cats are so cute and deserve all the best things in the world. Also please send any and all dog and cat videos my way.

22. It’s so good to get to meet people from different backgrounds, lifestyles, cultures, etc.

Through traveling and living several different places, I’ve been lucky enough to meet people from all over the world. This has opened up my mind and has helped me to be able to recognize the different issues people face. It has helped me see so many lifestyles and values and I have learned a lot about the world through these people. I am thankful for them.

23. Being open about mental health is so important.

I have social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, AKA anxiety and depression. I’ve talked about this a lot in the past few years, however it took me awhile to get to that point. I was first diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I finally was able to be open about it and talk about it (and I have to thank Jared Padalecki for being a huge reason I was able to do that through his words and Always Keep Fighting campaign).

Mental health isn’t just about diagnosable disorders, though. Everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical health. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be treated as so. It’s okay if a couple days need to be taken to feel better. It’s okay to not be okay, as cliché as that sounds. The more open people are about mental health, the more awareness there will be, and that will lead to healthier minds.

24. Encouraging friends is something that should be done daily.

Let me repeat that, ENCOURAGING FRIENDS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE DAILY. Everyone needs encouragement. Uplifting others is the easiest thing a person can do that can make such a big impact. Uplift them, encourage them. I am genuinely so proud of so many of my friends, and I try to tell them that often.

25. Watching movies will always be my joy and therapy.

I watch a lot of movies. A lot. And it’s because I genuinely love them. I find so much joy and entertainment being able to escape into different worlds and lives and situations for a couple hours. I also turn to them when I am sad or dealing with anxiety and depression and need something to help me. They are therapeutic. They are fun. I am thankful they exist, and I don’t care if that sounds weird to someone (see #1). I also love learning about them and knowing different aspects of them, such as how a scene was filmed or how an actor approached the character. Random challenge: when watching one of your favorite movies, take yourself out of the story for a minute and just watch the characters on screen as actors. It’ll blow your mind on how talented they are.

26. Creativity can be expressed in a lot of ways.

I’m a relatively creative person and sometimes it feels like I can’t find a way to express that, which makes me go crazy. I used to think I had to have a specific and grand outlet in order to express creativity, but that’s not true. I can express my creativity in the clothes I wear, the things I write, in painting or making bracelets, in photography and videography, or even in every day conversation. There are so many ways to express it, and none of them are wrong or not enough. I’ll do me and you do you.

27. It's good to have people who inspire me, but I shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

A lot of different people inspire me. Some are family, some are friends, some are musical artists, some are actors, some are YouTube creators, some are activists, some are just random people on Instagram or Twitter or wherever, and the list goes on. And it’s great to be inspired by other people. It’s nice to have people to look up to or who inspire me to be myself or express myself. However, it’s always important not to put them on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect. We’re all people.

28. Be kind, be empathetic, be patient, but stand up for myself.

Kindness, empathy, and patience are all things we should strive to have. I always try my hardest to be kind to everyone (sometimes I fail, like everyone, but I try). I have realized I have a lot of empathy, which is great and I’m thankful that I have that. I’m working on patience with myself, but I do try to be patient with other people. However, I also need to know when to stand up for myself. Sometimes people mistake kindness for weakness and try to push me down; I shouldn’t let them do that. I can still be kind while standing firm.

29. I may never understand a struggle someone's going through but that doesn't mean it's not real.

Often times when people talk about their struggles, I see others say, “well I have never experienced that or have seen that so it must not be true.” And that’s a poor way of thinking.

For example, as a white person, I’ll never fully understand the struggles and obstacles that racial minorities face. But it’s so, so important I still recognize that those struggles and obstacles exist and do my part in trying to help improve them. Another example is that a man will never fully understand the struggles and obstacles I face as a woman, but they should still recognize that those things are real.

30. I know that age is just a number and turning 30 next year just gives me a new decade to look forward to.

And last but not least, turning 29 shouldn’t be a scary thing. Age shouldn’t make anyone sad or feel like they have failed at life or something for not reaching a certain point (see #6). People put too much emphasis on age sometimes and it’s ridiculous. I’m 29. I’ll be 30 next year. It doesn’t mean anything except that I’m given a new slate to start a new decade of my life, and that should excite me, not scare me. So here’s to 29, I hope my last year in my 20s is great…but I have a feeling my 30s will be even greater.

[eugeniaclara]

Weeks back Lee Crutchley post on his instagram about what to do with the first page of a new notebook? And it got me thinking. I usually wrote my name & what to do with the book on the front-cover then followed with quotes that I ‘feel’ at that time. Or just my name & doodles/ strokes of markers/ ink/ paint.

Anyway this is the first page of my Baron Fig’s notebook. It’s my favourite statement from Brianna Wiest’s writing on Huffington Post back at April 2016. Here’s the part, cited [sic]: If you’re wondering “what you should do with your life,” it’s likely that you’re in the limbo between realizing you don’t want what you once did, and giving yourself permission to want what you want now.

Thinking you know what you’re “doing with your life” quells your hunger. It soothes your mind with the illusion that your path is laid out before you, and that you no longer have to choose, which is another way to say, you’re no longer responsible for becoming the person you want and need to be.

Hunger is important. Complete fulfillment is the fast track to complacency. People don’t thrive when they’re fulfilled. They stagnate.

So f#*k knowing what you’re “going to do with your life.”

What are you doing today? Who do you love? What intrigues you? What would you do today if you could be anyone you wanted? If social media didn’t exist? What do you want to do this weekend?

“What do I want” is a question you need to ask yourself every day. The things that run true will weave through your life, the ones that pop back up again and again are the ones you’ll follow. They’ll become the places you remain, the people you’re drawn to, the choices you make. The core truths will win out, even if other truths are lodged beside them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Yeah! ✋✨

Anyway, if tomorrow is a figurative ‘first page’ of a new notebook, what are you going to do with it? Write/ doodle/ leave it blank/ do the same with the old book/ continue from previous book? Something to ponder mid-week 😁

_ Love, eugeniaclara

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[getitchlo]

Teen Vogue: Chloe Lukasiak on ‘Dance Moms’ Return and New Fashion Line

“I’ve found my voice,” Chloe Lukasiak tells Teen Vogue of how she’s changed since she’s been away from Dance Moms, the TV show that introduced her to the world. (She left the series back in 2014.) “I think I can stick up for myself in a way I never have before.”

But leaving wasn’t goodbye forever, as Chloe is returning to the show this season, making her grand reappearance for the finale. She says that it’s definitely going to be dramatic – but could we really expect anything else?

Though she’s known as a dance prodigy, Chloe has been busy building her career through other avenues. Namely, acting and fashion design. After starring as Gwen in Center Stage: On Pointe,“ she’s returning to the big screen this year with a role as a gamer in the upcoming Loophole*. She’s also looking forward to the release of her new clothing line, and of course, competing at Nationals on the show that she describes as having defined her childhood.

In her first interview since the news of her Dance Moms return broke, Teen Vogue talked to Chloe about her upcoming performances, dealing with insecurities, and playing Super Mario to prepare for a film role. If only all gigs could be that sweet.

Teen Vogue: What was it like to return to Dance Moms after so much time away from the show?

Chloe Lukasiak: I came into my mom’s room one night – that’s kind of what I do every night, and we talk about the day – and she said she heard the girls are back in Pittsburgh and that the show might be ending. It made me really sad, because that was my childhood, that was how I grew up. I was like, maybe we should go back for Nationals. I would love to see them dance and kind of see what everyone’s been up to. My mom got in touch with them, and they were like, yes! Come back! We’ll see what’s going to happen next. It was really amazing. It was a little bit different, because the team has changed a lot since I’ve left. There were people I’d never met before, but for me it was very much like walking back to my own home. I was like, that is my childhood.

TV: How have you evolved as a dancer, and a person, since we last saw you on the show?

CL: As a person, I think I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve done movies, and I’ve found my voice. I’d say I’m more independent, not completely independent because you still need your mom at 15. But I think I can stick up for myself in a way I never have before. As a dancer, I went through a lot of phases, I stopped competing, but recently I realized I missed doing hardcore training like that, being exhausted and working as hard as I can. I really missed that atmosphere..

TV: What can viewers expect to see from you at Nationals?

CL: I have a pretty dramatic entrance. Nobody knew we were coming. Just look for Nia Frazier’s reaction. It was the most amazing thing I’ve seen this year. And Holly cried, and it made me cry. There are also some amazing dances, of course.

TV: Are you still close with Maddie Ziegler, and the other original girls?

CL: Not as much anymore. Nia and I have always been close, but I don’t get to see Maddie and Brooke that often. It’s just hard to stay close when you’re traveling all over the world. We’re not as close as we used to be, but that’s just kind of what happens, unfortunately.

TV: You’re releasing your first fashion line this spring. Have you always wanted to design clothes?

CL: I’ve always been very interested in fashion. It’s been something I’ve liked all my life, and I get that from my mom. And my sister, oh my god, I want to dress just like her. She’s my inspiration. [Her style is] very confident. In my style, I lean more for comfort. The first thing I say after trying a dress on for an event or something is: "OK, it’s comfy, I can wear it!”

TV: Is that what we can expect from your line? Comfy and casual?

CL: Yes. The line will be comfortable, very cute, there are some fun patterns that I really like. There’s also some quotes I really like on the shirts, but I don’t want to give too much away. I’m really excited about it.

TV: What would you say to people who are insecure about some part of themselves – especially the parts they can’t change?

CL: This is unoriginal, but you honestly have to do your best to ignore [bullying] and do things that make you happy. When you’re doing what truly makes you happy inside, you just won’t care about what anybody else says. It won’t matter. You don’t have to be arrogant, but you have to confident.

TV: What gives you the confidence to put yourself out there?

CL: When I was on Dance Moms, I wasn’t really confident in myself. I was always beating myself up, really critiquing myself. It’s just something you have to keep telling yourself. To some degree, I’m always like psyching myself out saying things like, “Chloe, you can do this.” “Chloe, I believe in you.” [Dealing with all the critiques] is really hard, I’m not going to lie. But you have to know it’s going to make you even stronger. You just have to keep pushing through. It’s much easier said than done, but I just try to block out [the negativity].

TV: You just finished filming Loophole. Tell us about your character.

CL: This role is actually the first time I am ever the lead in a movie, which is a lot more pressure than I was expecting. It was a lot to adjust to at first. It was a lot more action-based than anything I’ve done before. It’s very much a story of good vs. evil, but I won’t give too much away. I liked my character, she’s very different than me. She’s a video gamer, and she wasn’t very into fashion. I wore a light yellow shirt with a flannel around my waist and ripped up jeans for pretty much half of the movie. In the beginning, I was like, playing video games to get into character. I went back and picked up my DS and played Super Mario.

TV: What’s next in the future: acting, dancing, or both?

CL: Both! I want to keep doing both. Dance Moms right now, and then hopefully some more movies you’ll see.

TV: If you could talk to yourself five years ago, what would you tell her?

CL: I would tell her to worry less. Everything works out as it should, there’s no reason not to be confident in yourself. You have to be your #1 fan. Worry less, be more confident – those are the key things in my life.

by Brianna Wiest  (Teen Vogue, Jan. 27, 2017)

[almostprofounddonut]

Every so often I visit this friend of mine and he always says to me why don’t you date? Why don’t you put yourself out there? go meet someone, you’ve been single for a while now etc. etc. My usual response is I laugh and then I shake my head. Well, the other day I read an article and I got a quote from it that really explained the way I feel.

“Romantic love is great, but it is not the only great thing that exists, and it is certainly not the greatest great thing you can experience. Too many people get into relationships only because they think they’re supposed to, or they don’t care to take the time to figure out what they actually want, so by default, they choose what everybody else seems to do. What everybody else seems to say is “the best experience EVER.” And for those many people, love is wonderful, but it doesn’t have to be the most fulfilling thing. Feeling that way doesn’t make you an unemotional monster, that makes you a real human being with varying interests and priorities.“ - Brianna Wiest