#malmaison media salon

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Uhhh, question! Does anyone know this book? @maggiec70 ? @suburbanbeatnik ?

( @chickenmadam told me it was awful, but I am curious, as this is still review material.)

Speaking of reviews! I’m actually coming back very soon! With both “Chevalier” and “Napoleon’s Elysium”!

(Sorry, I kept being either sick or busy and almost had a depression relapse…)

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Hey, everyone!!! Birthday announcement (today is my birthday 🥳 )!

Wait for reviews on Sunday. I promise they’re definitely coming so stay tuned!!!

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Guys, I’m going to try to post reviews when I can but it’s my final year of uni and my health is worsening a bit so please be patient. I can’t set any dates as of yet.

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 16: LE CHIRURGIEN DE L’EMPIRE (2020)

1. The Introduction

SURPRISE!!! Hello, Neighbors, and welcome to Malmaison Media Salon! I did promise you to make a surprise review and here it is!!!

Time for obscure shorts to get the spotlight!

Okay, story time. Most people in Napoleonic community like Larrey. A lot. I’m one of them for a lot of reasons (my interest in anatomy and medicine included), but he and many other surgeons remain on the obscure side of the spectrum when it comes to media, which I find to be unfair. 

So, convinced that there must be something out there at least about Larrey, I decided to do some digging and, lo and behold, found this movie on YouTube (in French with English subtitles). That really was like opening a treasure chest that might be containing a trap or two.

I felt excited about the fact that Larrey has something about him, but also a bit cautious about the quality of the movie. Luckily, I enjoyed it, but more on that later.

As promised, this review is dedicated to @amypihcs and @kaxen , but I’d like to include a dedication to the equally wonderful @tairin , my first friend in the Napoleonic community (all of the community is amazing btw).

Okay, this review is going to be relatively short, so let’s begin, shall we?

2. The Summary

The short in question only tells a snippet of Larrey’s story and shows him during the Battle of Waterloo.

Here’s the official IMDb summary:

“1815 Waterloo, whilst the soldiers of the Emperor Napoleon fight with desperation, a man braves all danger to come to their aid with an ambulance. On this very day, too close to the enemy lines, Dominique Larrey rides towards his destiny and posterity.”

It might sound glorifying to some people, but not to me. Medical staff doesn’t get acknowledged nearly as often as they should, but let’s see how well was this homage done.

3. The Story

Despite only being 10 minutes long, the movie does a pretty good job of showcasing Larrey as a character and tells a snippet story that is, well, an actual short story in this context.

(Spoiler alert)

We see Larrey in action from the get go (obviously, because it’s a damn battle), but then he’s informed that more patients need help, rides to save them, is wounded, captured, almost executed and saved by Blucher at the last moment.

So there is a story structure with a beginning and an end, which is very hard to do with only 10 minutes of screen time available, so I do have a lot of respect for those who can tell short stories well.

Even the filler scenes with Larrey’s family aren’t an issue because they do showcase what people think of him and how his job has downsides like missing out on a lot of family time.

My only issue is that the ending is a bit of a cliffhanger, but then there’s text on screen neatly wrapping things up.

4. The Characters

Larrey is an actually flawed character! Yay! Here he’s brave and altruistic but also extremely reckless and stubborn. I liked his quip to an officer demanding to be treated first that he doesn’t care about rank (because triage doesn’t work this way). Also he isn’t a stereotypical today’s manly man and cries when he believes he’s about to be executed, so he does have moments of vulnerability and emotions.

Isaure Larrey has one scene where she’s being a bit of a bratty teenager, but I can understand that she misses her father and is concerned that Hippolyte doesn’t see Larrey often. She’s a teenager and it’s realistic for her to be kind of resentful at times, even though she got too rude and bratty at one point and made me want to punch her.

Blucher is hyped up by German characters as this cruel man who orders the execution of prisoners, but he recognizes Larrey and saves him, so both sides are humanized. It’s also historically accurate so additional kudos!

Elisabeth Larrey clearly loves her husband very much and is upset about Isaure talking smack, which is normal. Elisabeth is the adult so she’s much more understanding about her husband’s occupation, which is fair enough.

5. The Setting

If you’re squeamish about blood, be careful since the movie doesn’t shy away from horrors of war, but the setting actually benefits from that. Nothing is glossed over, even though the amputation isn’t shown so no trigger warnings for the gore.

6. The Acting

Fucking. Excellent. Acting. From. Everyone.

7. The Music

Excellent music, especially during the tenser moments. Really sets the tone!

8. The Conclusion

Please watch this movie. It’s really good and I only have one or two complaints about it. We really need to acknowledge medical staff more often.

On that note, let us finish today’s soirée. Hope you liked the surprise!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 18: EL ENCARGO DEL MAESTRO GOYA (2021)

1. The Introduction

Hello, my dear Neighbors! I’m finally back with a freshly made review in tow!

So, this particular book (available on Amazon and ebook websites but only in Spanish) first came to my attention me due to my interest in Napoleonic era and, as of recently, Francisco Goya’s works. Naturally, this book caught my attention right off the bat because it’s a fucking jackpot!

Okay, Goya is actually a fairly minor character but he has an extremely important role in the story. More on that later!

(Also, tomorrow I will reblog this review to add my song because I’m having headaches today… Those bitches are bothering me again)

Anyway, I loved this book even more than I expected I would, so let’s analyze it to the best of my ability! This review is dedicated to @that-enragee . Enjoy!

2. The Summary

This novel tells a story of three siblings - Mercedes, Salvador and Marta. They are on the way to the city of Santander in order to receive their late aunt’s inheritance. However, another reason for the journey is a task given to Marta by her mentor, Goya. She must make a copy of a painting so that the French don’t loot the real thing.

3. The Story

Surprisingly, I enjoyed the romantic subplots! And that’s really rare for me. But here the subplots are written MASTERFULLY and progress naturally. Yes, there’s more than one romantic subplot. In fact, there’s two (both Mercedes and Marta find love).

I also appreciate the lack of a villain in the story. The take on events is very nuanced and awful people are shown to exist on all sides, so the take is more or less objective, not unlike Goya’s etchings with the theme of war. This nuance makes the story that much more enjoyable.

The pacing is also very good, but sometimes there are annoying flashbacks. Luckily, those are not extensive.

On a slightly darker note, props to the author for killing off some of the characters and making it stick. I know it’s a war story, but some writers don’t have the balls to include this degree of realism.

4. The Characters

Since the narrative takes place away from the frontlines, we don’t really have historical figures as major characters. Even Goya is a minor character in the book and he only appears properly in the end.

I actually liked his portrayal because he truly doesn’t want the French to loot precious artworks but also has an agenda. See, the painting Marta is to forge is a depiction of Santa Casilda by Zurbarán (a painting that actually WAS stolen during the war historically).

This is important because, according to rumors, praying to this particular depiction can cure ailments, including permanent deafness. Since Goya went deaf due to an illness at around 45 years of age, he believes that this painting is his last hope to get his hearing back.

Although I am aware of the ableist implications of the trope of a disabled person seeking a “cure”, it’s important to note that the world back then wasn’t accommodating to the disabled at all and views ranged from them being innocent at best to burdens at worst. Besides, Goya historically would always portray the disabled as helpless in his art, so it’s safe to assume that he internalized the views of the time period.

(Spoiler alert: No worries, dear disabled readers, the author doesn’t pull a magical cure out of her ass and disabled characters stay disabled.)

Goya is also supportive and proud of his pupil, Marta, which is the sweetest thing ever, so we get to see that he truly cares about her.

Speaking of disability, we also have another deaf character, Marta. As one of the main characters, she is naturally explored in more depth than Goya and we get to see her realistic struggle with her own deafness. Unlike Goya, she was born deaf and therefore doesn’t speak, instead communicating with some signs and writing.

She starts out seeking this alleged cure too, but mostly because she is done with being coddled and treated like a child by her siblings, especially Mercedes. She is naïve and somewhat innocent due to being very young (19ish), but she is also kind, brave, compassionate and a bit mischievous, using her painting skills to help pull a prank at one point.

She also embraces her deafness as the story progresses, finds a man who loves her the way she is and learns to respect her as her own person and not the innocent deaf girl she’s assumed to be. There’s a lot of depth and nuance to her character, and I truly appreciate it.

Mercedes, the other protagonist and the oldest sibling in her family is motherly and protective to the point of coddling Marta and being understandably angry that Goya got her involved in a dangerous mission for the sake of some fake “cure”. Mercedes is also a widow and and more cynical than her siblings, but mellows out over the course of her story.

As an older sister myself, I can definitely relate to her wanting to protect her siblings so I enjoyed her character too. I also think that making her a widow instead of an ingenue is a somewhat bold choice for a romantic subplot, but it definitely suits her and gives additional context to her character.

Claude Cornulier, a soldier sent to Santander to try and curb the atrocities, is sweet and a philosopher. He also understands that war is hell and expresses true empathy towards Spanish people. He also falls for Mercedes but never forces her into a relationship. Instead, he is a true gentleman and treats her with the utmost respect so their romance is healthy and entirely consensual.

Then there is Lieutenant Alfonso Bustamante, a fairly young but retired soldier from the Spanish Navy who feels insecure about having scars and only one eye. His health is in the shit as well, but we later learn that he helps local guerillas and has a ring of informants in the area, so he too fights for his country in whatever way he can.

Bustamante is also a gentleman and forms a friendship with Mercedes while also, eventually, falling for Marta. Although he does make the mistake of coddling her somewhat, he eventually realizes that it’s not the best approach and cuts it out, leading to a healthy relationship.

Salvador is a passionate young man who is also fiercely protective of his sisters, as the only living family member.

At one point the painter David is namedropped in the book and the French troops also joke about Soult looting too many paintings, but those two don’t appear in person.

5. The Setting

The descriptions are wonderful and not too long, thank goodness. I really liked them and they helped me become immersed into the story.

6. The Writing

Reading in Spanish was a challenge at times, but I like the style. It has a nice flow, doesn’t feel inappropriately modern and is fairly easy to read for those fluent in Spanish.

7. The Conclusion

Overall, an excellent book that really captured my imagination and attention! If you are fluent in Spanish, I can’t recommend it enough.

Either way, this concludes the 18th soirée at the Malmaison Media Salon.

Stay tuned for future reviews and tomorrow’s reblog with the song, everyone!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 15: NEEDING NAPOLEON (2020)

1. The Introduction

Hello, Neighbors! Welcome back to Malmaison Media Salon! At last we’re here and today is a bit of a special review. Why special?

Let me explain:

1. Firstly, it’s one of those cases where I stumble upon a media piece via recommendation from another community member. This time it was @suburbanbeatnik , who interviewed the author of the book and there was a contest where the first 3 users to comment would get a free ebook copy via email.

I was the first to comment because I was given the link and because I was really excited about what sounded like a promising story, considering my soft spot for the adventure genre, time travel and alternative history. So yeah, I became one of the lucky three users.

Unfortunately, the book is only available in English and has to be purchased through websites like Amazon, so those who don’t speak English too well might be out of luck for now.

2. Secondly, it’s one of the few anglophone (British, to boot!) media pieces that DO NOT paint Napoleon as a villain! How cool is that?! For newcomers, stumbling upon a gem like that is about as likely as seeing a UFO, so you can bet your asses that I HAD to check out the book!

3. Thirdly, I already mentioned that I’m a sucker for adventure, time travel, historical fiction and alternative history so that really boosted my excitement… as well as my worries. I prayed that the book would turn out to be good. Luckily, it did! More on that later though.

Anyway, before we proceed, this review is dedicated to @suburbanbeatnik and @garethwilliamsauthor . Not only is the latter, well, the author, but he also graciously gave me permission to write said review and I’m thankful for this.

Okay, with formalities out of the way, let’s begin!

2. The Summary

The novel tells the story of one Richard Davey, an ordinary schoolteacher who admires Napoleon and lives a very boring, lonely life.

However, during a fateful holiday in Paris, he gets a chance to leave his old life behind, meet his hero and maybe even change the course of history.

To me, the idea sounds very interesting, so let’s move onto the deeper analysis and see if the execution matches the potential.

3. The Story

Although the beginning of the story did confuse me a bit because we jump straight into action, I. Fucking. Love. This. Book. I was extremely hooked when reading and felt like I was back in my childhood, reading my favorite swashbuckling stories. The excitement is REAL.

The pacing is excellent, most loose ends get tied up in the end, the ending is satisfying yet also realistic and we don’t have the protagonist getting everything he wanted, which is awesome!

I did have a problem with the flashbacks though, mainly because they kept popping up and breaking the storyline immersion, but that’s just me.

Also, there’s a good mix of gritty artlessness (in a good way because it doesn’t gloss over war), a swashbuckling adventure, romance and down time (we can’t have action ALL the time).

The romantic subplot is very well-written and realistic, even though my asexual self still didn’t care much because I don’t normally like romance. Spoiler, it’s one of the few times where the protagonist doesn’t get the love interest in the end, for a lot of reasons.

So yeah, only minor complaints here and there.

(Oh, and tiny bonus for the Frev community: Frev isn’t demonized either!!! Yay!!!)

(P. S. Also there were a lot of moments that cracked me up, like the pun with HMS Bellerophon being called Billy Ruffian.)

4. The Characters

Richard Davey is by far one of the most relatable characters ever, since I can relate to his loneliness (me during the worse days of depression) and love for History (I’m a Frev and Napoleonic nerd). He’s flawed, reacts realistically and in his own way to situations and has a great character arc, from a man just going with the motions of life to a hero who can and does make a difference in history, just not in the way he first planned.

Emile Béraud, a soldier Richard befriends in the past, is an absolute sweetheart. Loyal to a fault, friendly and just as lonely as Richard, he takes part in the adventures and is a very compelling character.

Aunt Patricia, Richard’s only living relative, might be a minor character who doesn’t personally appear, but her presence is felt throughout the story and Richard constantly imagines what she would have to say in his position and how she would judge him.

Madame Odillet, the owner of an antique shop who helps Richard get back in time, is a mysterious woman with a troubled past, who definitely knows more than she first lets on. I like the book parallels between her and witches, even though she’s just a regular human.

Napoleon starts out as an insufferable punchable prick, but later on his portrayal becomes nuanced. He loves and misses his son, has a soft spot for kids, has a temper and at times alternates between acceptance of his fate and resolve to fight back. He’s not in a good place mentally nor physically, but he’s portrayed as someone flawed yet far from being a bad person.

Jerome is an arrogant hedonistic ass. Full stop. But he’s a minor character so I can understand why he’s not as nuanced, even if I wish there was a bit more complexity.

Gourgaud is an impulsive and arrogant bastard who is loyal to his emperor yet entitled due to having saved said emperor twice.

Bertrand and Fanny are extremely sweet.

Las Cases… I found him unpleasant and arrogant.

Murat and Caroline are mentioned and, LUCKILY, not depicted as traitors.

Ney in his cameo is his usual post-Russia reckless self (he possibly had PTSD, I believe).

Overall, the cast is memorable and I did enjoy the portrayals for the most part.

5. The Setting

The descriptions really sell the setting here, in my opinion. I particularly enjoyed the scenes at Malmaison where Napoleon essentially is Richard’s tour guide.

Always nice to see that the author really did their research and has a way with language to make immersion that much easier to achieve.

6. The Writing

Once again, the descriptions. Short, sweet, to the point.

The language is mostly easily understandable, but there are French words sprinkled in that (fortunately) can be more or less understood in context. I wish there were footnotes with translations though. Oh, and some words were unfamiliar to me as a foreigner so please keep that in mind too.

7. The Conclusion

If you can, please give the book a go. Remarkable adventures, nuanced characters and believable settings that are reminiscent of swashbuckling novels are definitely worth your money, in my humble opinion.

Of course, no work is perfect but I throughly enjoyed this one despite some flaws and I look forward to reading the sequel. It’s not every day we get an anglophone pro-Naps media piece, after all.

On that note, let us conclude today’s soirée. Please stay tuned for updates on future reviews, my dearest Neighbors.

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 19: LA MÁSCARA NEGRA(1982)

1. The Introduction

Greetings, Neighbors. I missed you and hopefully you missed me too!

Anyway, you already know that I kept rescheduling because a lot of stuff has happened, so let’s not waste time on explanations and talk about this obscure swashbuckling TV series made in Spain in 1982.

I found it on IMDb a while ago, under the category of Napoleonic movies and series. Since I have a soft spot for swashbuckling stories and hadn’t seen anything of the genre set during Peninsular War, you can imagine how curious I got.

Luckily, the entire 11 episodes can be found on YouTube, but only in Spanish so yeah… it’s a bit of a bummer, unfortunately.

Either way, I do speak Spanish fairly well, so at the very least I can make a review out of the series! Let’s see if it’s actually an interesting subject. Also, this review is dedicated to @josefavomjaaga , @that-enragee and @koda-friedrich .

2. The Summary

Obviously, the classic swashbuckling formula with a masked hero definitely applies here. Our protagonist is one Don Carlos de Zaráte, an adventurer who returns to Madrid right before the beginning of the Peninsular War.

Although reluctantly, Don Carlos eventually assumes the identity of The Black Mask, a folk hero fighting the French and their collaborators, all while pretending to be a collaborator himself by day.

3. The Story

The swashbuckling genre in its classic form isn’t exactly known for that much originality, but, as someone who grew up on such stories, I don’t actually mind the classic formula, as long as the story and characters still appeal to me.

Luckily, here the story has a twist: Don Carlos is not the original Black Mask, but rather he assumes the mantle of the hero at the beginning of the story, succeeding the person who had the alter ego beforehand.

And at first Don Carlos is reluctant to do it until he decides to fight the French invaders, which makes room for some nuance in the story and the character arc. The show could have benefited from having nuance in the French characters too, but usually swashbuckling stories don’t have the most complex villains so there’s that.

I did like the pacing, the semi-episodic story structure and a bit of an ambiguous ending that still neatly wrapped up the plot.

Also, I find it refreshing that many historical events are a backdrop for the actual plot, unlike all the stories I’ve seen where characters help shape history (nothing wrong with either btw).

4. The Characters

Don Carlos is actually a pretty complex character. Instead of merely pretending to be a foppish aristocrat, he actually used to be one before the story and only during the series it becomes merely a facade to ward off suspicions. He grows and matures a lot over the course of the story while still remaining the same person at his core, so the change feels realistic.

He’s also very cunning and ingenious, using various tricks to aid him in his escapades. Not above seduction or gambling, but, again, often uses it to maintain cover and gather information.

Then there’s Elodia, a young hat maker who Don Carlos takes under his wing. While she is too young to help The Black Mask, sometimes she does have an important role in the adventures and she also has a found family kind of dynamic with Don Carlos, which is sweet! She is very mature, but still a realistically written child.

Don Diego, younger brother of Don Carlos, is a much more hotheaded and idealistic youth than his brother and his role, while quite small, still sets the main events in motion.

Francisco Goya, who is basically a minor recurring character, stays neutral (at least publicly) but in reality is appalled by the war and isn’t afraid to speak through his art, even though it’s still very dangerous. He even plays a prominent role in one of the episodes.

Joachim Murat, who makes a few appearances, surprisingly isn’t made stupid! Sure, he is very ruthless, but at the very least he’s smart.

Joseph Bonaparte is name dropped and at least one character calls him a drunkard, but not Pepe Botellas.

Soult is mentioned as well but doesn’t appear in the series.

5. The Setting

Actually I like the setting. Not very high budget but still quite nice and seems accurate enough, at least to me.

I especially liked all the landscapes like hills, the shores, etc.

6. The Acting

Amazing job all around, especially when it comes to Sancho Gracia, who plays Don Carlos. This particular actor actually appeared in a lot of media set during peninsular war. A few actors are a bit too old though, like the one who played Murat.

7. The Conclusion

Honestly, I did enjoy the series! Flaws aside, it’s a pretty solid adventure story with an interesting twist on the usual masked avenger formula so, if you do know Spanish and are looking for a fun series to kill time, I recommend it!

Anyway, that would be all for today’s soirée. Thank you for coming and stay tuned for more reviews!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

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Hey, everyone.

Here’s an important announcement. Due to my back pain and the medical exams that I have to undergo in the following days, I’m going to have to reschedule the reviews for Thursday.

My back is making routine things like sitting in class very painful so I need to prioritize, even though I do want to keep posting reviews.

Anyway, stay tuned!

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Guys, expect at least one review tomorrow evening! Stay tuned!

(My schedule is finally clear and my head is finally above water, so to speak! YAY!!! Don’t be concerned please, nothing urgent, Monday will just be a bit less hectic than this Sunday for me.)

The review of A Game of Hope will be dedicated to @tairin , @josefavomjaaga and @frevandrest

The review of La Máscara Negra will be dedicated to @josefavomjaaga , @that-enragee and @koda-friedrich

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 17: THE PRINCESS OF NOWHERE (2010)

1. The Introduction

Hello, Dear Neighbors. Thank you for joining the party today. I’m feeling better, fortunately, and I’m ready to analyze media again.

Fittingly, today we’re talking about Pauline Bonaparte, the woman who had a scandalous reputation back in the day and seems like a typical party girl. Since I do like the woman, I’ve always been curious as to what kind of media is out there that tells her story.

Sure, there’s the movie called “Imperial Venus”, but it looks like Pauline is far more obscure than some of her family members (and don’t even get me started on Napoleon). So you can imagine how intrigued I was after stumbling across this particular book, written by a distant descendant of the Borghese family.

I’ll admit that the author’s identity did cause concern for me, mainly due to the potential for slander and negative bias to wriggle their way into the narrative, but the premise about the story being told from the prospective of a character close to Pauline seemed intriguing so I gave the book a shot.

Luckily, it’s available in free PDF form here. And, without spoilers, the read was… interesting.

This review is dedicated to @aminoscribbles .

2. The Summary

This is the story of Pauline Bonaparte and her tumultuous and toxic relationship with Prince Camillo Borghese, told from the point of view of Pauline’s foster daughter and distant cousin, Sophie Leclerc.

(Sophie is an original character btw. )

Sounds like an interesting idea with potential, but let’s keep going.

3. The Story

First of all, due to all the POV switching and the focus on Paulette, you can pretty much forget about Sophie since she fades into the background rather quickly and becomes irrelevant faster than a new fashion trend. Kinda makes me wonder why she was even in the book to begin with.

The plot pacing is also clunky, clumsily intertwined with flashbacks and fictional letters, but apparently the author is writing for the first time so of course it’s not going to be flawless. Still, I do wish he worked a bit more on the story before publication. 

The negative bias also is there but it’s a weird mixed bag and not as bad as I expected - there’s at least an attempt to make Pauline a complex character and tell the story of a toxic yet ultimately loving couple, so points for effort.

Unfortunately, the story speed runs through moments like Pauline joining Napoleon on Elba, moments that could’ve given us more of a glimpse into her character and would definitely be more engaging than the awfully long sex scenes in the book.

4. The Characters

As I said, Sophie becomes irrelevant fairly quickly so I’m not sure what to make of her. She’s a very flat character whose initial admiration for Pauline isn’t properly justified. Nor is her relationship with the woman properly explored. A shame and a waste of potential, really.

Pauline herself isn’t evil like I expected, so it’s a pleasant surprise. However, she’s still capricious, selfish and careless. She does have nice moments like personally nursing Sophie back to health and she does genuinely grieve her husband and later her son.

However, all the nice moments are undermined by the moment when it’s revealed that Pauline poisoned herself and Sophie with arsenic to make Borghese believe that they got sick and send them to France. Err… WTF?!

(Yes, she does that in the book, even though the real Pauline was so sickly that she wouldn’t even NEED poison. As for poisoning a child… can’t imagine her doing so.)

Borghese himself is, naturally, almost a saint (duh), but still makes mistakes here and there, so he’s just flat and we never see a deeper dive into his relationship with Pauline.

To be honest, all characters are flat and underdeveloped so let’s move on.

5. The Setting

Some descriptions are good but, again, underdeveloped.

6. The Writing

The writing style is actually solid and sometimes engaging, but there are a few instances of Pauline being a bit too crass to feel realistic and those sex scenes are boring as hell.

Couple that with flashbacks and letters and yeah… it’s a hit or miss at best.

7. The Conclusion

All in all, definitely not an awful book. I’ve seen MUCH worse. That being said, it’s not a good book either. Just… decent but underbaked.

Check it out if you want, but it’s still biased towards Borghese and doesn’t do Pauline justice, unfortunately. It’s a mixed bag for me though so I will not reread this book.

Anyway, on that note, let us end our tiny soirée. Stay tuned for more reviews, everyone!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

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Dear Neighbors… I just had a panic attack. I’m so sorry but this derails the review schedule… again. Dammit.

(Please don’t worry, I’m feeling better now. I got anxious about something completely unrelated to reviews)

Once again, I’m sorry about this. The review will be out by Saturday and I already have a draft of it… if you still want to see it even after so many delays… @tairin @amypihcs @aminoscribbles @josefavomjaaga @maggiec70 @dartharaiz @blackwidowmarshal123 @pobodleru @count-lero @michel-feuilly @captainknell @microcosme11 @elisabeth515 @klara-1838 @sollannaart @au-pas-camarades , @joachimnapoleon , @kaxen , I’m truly sorry that I broke my promise… but I will correct it. Luckily I’m calming down already.

(Tiny spoiler, I really enjoyed the book! Thank you for writing it, @garethwilliamsauthor ! And thank you to @suburbanbeatnik for introducing me to this story.)

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Citizens and Neighbors, I’m afraid I ate something that didn’t agree with my body so the reviews are coming a little bit later. Hopefully soon and hopefully nothing serious.

Stay tuned!

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Hey, everyone! So, I kinda fell off the grid a bit because I’ve been having trouble with pain in my lower back lately. I thought it was a pulled muscle, but looks like it’s a pinched spinal disc in my lower spine (above the butt), so tomorrow I’m going to a specialist to figure out how to treat it.

(Yeah, spine has been an issue for me ever since I was born with spina bifida…)

Also I’m seeing a nutritionist this week too because antidepressants have influenced my weight and I’m struggling to shed it now…

Okay, enough about me, La Máscara Negra is coming your way on Monday!

For citizens, expect Chevalier on Monday too! Stay tuned!

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Dear Citizens and Neighbors, I’m postponing the reviews until Tuesday due to the weekend being absolutely bonkers for me.

Stay tuned!

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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 14: AT ABOUKIR AND ACRE (1898)

1. The Introduction

Hello, Dear Neighbors, and welcome back to Malmaison Media Salon. So, as I’ve said before, today we’re going to talk about a book by G. A. Henty, one of my archenemies!

Why archenemy?

That’s just how I label authors whose shit I reviewed before. Henty’s “wonderful” book about Frev left a bad taste in my mouth for a long time, so I was understandably mistrustful of any other piece of his.

However, after finding out he has one more Frev book AND several Napoleonic ones and this one (About the Egyptian Campaign, between the two eras), I had to make another review in spite of my lower than six feet expectations. So I went on Project Gutenberg to download the ebook for free. That’s where you can get it by the way.

But hey, maybe this book is better than the one I reviewed before. It’s always a possibility, right? The short answer is no. The long answer is not at all.

For an even longer answer, let us finally proceed with the review, which I dedicate to @koda-friedrich , @blackwidowmarshal123 and @aminoscribbles .

2. The Summary

As you might guess from the title, the book is set during the Egyptian campaign and, in classic Henty fashion, has a young English boy as the protagonist.

Edgar Blagrove, the boy in question, is a son of an English merchant who is left behind in Egypt during the war, so the book follows his adventures as he’s trying to survive, reunite with his family and have adventures along the way (as you do).

Even though Henty’s books are targeted at young boys, the premise sounds like something that I would actually enjoy, but I didn’t.

Let’s dissect this book to find out just how bad it gets, shall we?

3. The Story

The beginning isn’t so great. At first the opening scene promises some action, yet the immersion is broken like glass a couple of pages in with heaps upon heaps of Edgar’s backstory. Nice job, Henty…

Luckily, it’s the only time an extensive flashback like this is used, but the pacing can get about as fast as snail because often pieces of information get repeated in dialogues when nothing bad would’ve happened if the author avoided said repetition.

Moreover, while in the first half or so of the story the hero’s ways of getting out of problems stay realistic and justifiable, the second half has Edgar cross so far into Mary Sue territory that he may as well be called Gary Stu.

(Spoilers ahead)

This kid gets hired by SIDNEY FUCKING SMITH as a midshipman and interpreter. I’m not kidding, that’s an actual plot point!

Let me repeat: A kid who DID NOT previously serve in the navy is made midshipman and interpreter by SIDNEY SMITH, who meets said kid by pure coincidence! And only the interpreter part is justified, since Edgar was educated in several languages from a young age and learned the mother tongues of servants and citizens of Cairo too.

That, in all honesty, was the point where I just lost what little investment I had because it just became too apparent that everything will be fine and Edgar will have a happy ending.

4. The Characters

Before crossing the Gary Stu threshold, Edgar actually had potential to be a good character.

He is a reckless kid who was so bored with his monotonous life in Cairo that he wanted to see the English kick the French in the ass.

He cares about his friends, is kind and ready to help his loved ones and sometimes makes risky decisions.

But then he just becomes somebody who is always right and he gets too perfect. So all the potential goes down the drain like a dead goldfish. Hooray…

Sidi, an Arab boy Edgar rescues in the beginning of the story, is a bit more interesting, mainly due to his dynamic with Edgar as basically adopted brothers. He and his family provide Edgar with shelter in their oasis and help him out in a time of need too. Unfortunately, Sidi is a bit of a flat character for someone who gets a pretty major role in the story, but Henty isn’t too good with characters anyway.

Other characters are flat too. To various degrees. Unfortunately, that’s all I can say because there’s a ton of characters.

However, English officers like Nelson and Sidney Smith are whitewashed and glorified to no end. Henty loves sucking the dick of English nationalism, but I already saw that in my other review so no surprise there.

As for the French side of things… I was genuinely surprised that Napoleon was NOT portrayed as Devil Incarnate and it’s mentioned that he does care about his troops.

Many historical figures are name dropped but don’t appear in person, such as Kleber, Desaix, Junot, Menou, etc. Personally, I’m glad they don’t get a cameo in person for several reasons:

A) the book isn’t about them

B) it would be too unrealistic for Edgar to meet those people

C) after the atrocious portrayal of Montagnards, I DO NOT trust Henty with accuracy when it comes to French Republican generals

Eugene de Beauharnais is omitted once again, even though I’m pretty sure he participated in that campaign. Oh well, shout-out to Eugene from me!

5. The Setting

Henty is, once again, bad with settings and his descriptions are, at times, too minimalistic.

I didn’t feel the action in battle scenes, I couldn’t envision the oasis, the streets of Cairo or any other settings. There’s just not enough to achieve immersion.

6. The Writing

The writing is old fashioned, as it was a book written in the 19th century, but for people who are fluent in English there shouldn’t be a lot of issues with comprehending the vocabulary, except maybe all the naval terms that have no definitions given. Grrr…

I can’t necessarily call Henty’s writing awful, but it’s not for me so it didn’t help my overall impression of the book.

7. The Conclusion

Even though it’s not as bad as “In the Reign of Terror” was, it’s still not a book I would recommend and the improvements are insignificant.

Most characters are still flat, the annoying nationalism has still reared its head, the pacing is longer than the Amazon River and the protagonist becomes a Gary Stu in the end.

The verdict? Please find something else to read.

Anyway, the soirée is officially coming to an end. Please stay tuned because more updates are coming soon.

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[usergreenpixel]

Citizens and Neighbors, I need to reschedule the reviews for Saturday.

Remember, it’s “Chevalier” and “Napoleon’s Elysium”.

Stay tuned!