Mario Kart DLC (Waves 1-3) Ranked
as with any list, there's some you might disagree with. here's my thoughts & opinions on every track.
F TIER:
Toad Circuit: I HATE THIS. it's so mind-numbingly dull. why did they want to include this???? out of all the tracks they could've chosen, why was it necessary to include toad circuit????
D TIER:
Choco Mountain: visually dull, just miles and miles of brown. another bland track that's slightly less bland than Toad Circuit.
Tokyo Blur: disappointing city circuit. when i think of Tokyo, i think of small, narrow, busy streets not wide, open highways. you barely see or engage with any of the landmarks. the track itself is unremarkable. hardly any obstacles and a tiny bit of gliding. you'd think for a japanese company they'd put extra effort into highlighting their country.
Mario Circuit 3: some might call this F tier. no distinguishing features, ugly generic design, no gliding, no anti gravity, you just drive. weirdly i have a soft spot for it. the more i play it online, the more i like it. it’s so driver focused, the curves flow nicely. it's kinda refreshing to just focus on cornering.
London Loop: how can a city so interesting in real life feel so unremarkable in this game??? the DLC introduced an interesting twist to some tracks. normally you have a circuit (like Mario Kart Stadium) or one long track (like Mount Wario). London Loop has a hybrid system where parts of the track close and newer parts open with each lap. done well, it adds a ton of variety. done bad, it confuses the player and they run out of bounds on what used to be drivable. London Loop (and to a lesser extent, Paris) is guilty of the later.
C TIER (average/ok/fine):
Shroom Ridge: i prefer this to Toad's Turnpike, the other traffic heavy circuit. it can be fun, but i barely think about this track. i wouldn’t say to my friends, “hey I’m dying to play shroom ridge”. this is a track you play because you're sick of playing your favourites.
Boo Lake: underrated track, i almost had this in B tier. for a GBA remake, they really amped it up. it's mostly underwater, there's anti-gravity. it can get fast and chaotic pretty quick.
New York Minute: i was hoping for more. they could've had gliding around the statue of liberty, anti gravity to drive up a skyscraper, there's so many possibilities with New York. it's not confusing or dull like London, but it doesn't have the glamour of Paris or Sydney. it's a middle of the road city circuit.
Snow Land: a snow track i don't hate! that's the best i can say for it. apart from Mount Wario and DK Summit, snow tracks never fare well in any mario kart series.
Sky Garden: kinda like a toned down Mushroom Gorge. nothing to hate, nothing to love. very inoffensive track.
B TIER:
Paris Promenade: ideally, i'd want every city track to have this level of atmosphere. you drive under the Eiffel tower, around the Arc de Triomphe, the music slaps. it feels and looks like you're driving in Paris. that's what you want out of a city circuit.
Ninja Hideaway: it's strong visually, the theming is on point. but i don't like the layout of the track. lots of sharp, narrow turns that don't flow naturally. reminds me of Piranha Plant Speedway with those sharp 90° turns that feel more frustrating than fun. having said that, difficulty can be engaging to overcome so for that it's B tier.
Merry Mountain: this was a real highlight when it first came out. playing this at Christmas with family felt so appropriate. having played this dozens of times now, the novelty has worn off and what you're left with is a track that's not as exciting as the visuals make it out to be.
Berlin Byways: i wasn't expecting much from Berlin Byways, but i was pleasantly surprised with how it turned out. lots of variety in this track and they manage to cram in a ton of landmarks. special shoutout to the whomps that form the Berlin Wall.
Peach Gardens: i'm noticing a lot of Wave 3 tracks in B tier. the consensus is wave 3's the best wave so far, but even so i wonder how much recency bias is playing into this. i like how big and sprawling the track is. there's so many ways to navigate this track, it's hard to figure out what a speedrun of this would look like. one of the downsides is it suffers from the London Loop navigation problems. a couple of times you're going uphill and not sure whether the track's turning left or right. despite that, it's a welcome addition to mario kart 8.
A TIER:
Kalimari Desert:
iconic N64 track. i like the updates to the original like how you drive through the tunnel. this would be lower on the list if this was a straight remake.
Mushroom Gorge:
the ultimate bouncing mushroom track. it's short, it's fun, it's challenging. not much to comment on really.
Sky High Sundae: Excitebike Arena meets Sweet Sweet Canyon. i love Sky High Sundae. it's controversial, some people have this in D tier. i like mario kart tracks where you're constantly engaged with the track. you're not just driving in a straight line, every few seconds you've got to make sure you're doing flips to maximise boost. i like the narrowness of the track and the sheer cliffs that really heighten the stakes. in Excitebike Arena, you get shelled on a ramp you just drive off, in Sky High Sundae if you get shelled on a ramp you could fall off the map. it's so thrilling and so satisfying when you nail the jumps and knock an opponent off the track.
Rock Rock Mountain: great choice for the DLC. i love how epic this feels. the long gliding section, the sheer scale of the mountain near the end and the boulders that crash down. i always look forward to playing it.
S TIER:
Coconut Mall: it's coconut mall. what else needs to be said?
Waluigi Pinball: one of the all-time greatest tracks. unique concept, visually stunning. full of fun obstacles, tricks and turns. this is was makes mario kart one of the greatest racing games ever made. the endless possibilities with designing these tracks. "hey why don't we race inside a pinball machine?" you'll never get ideas like that in a gran turismo or forza game.
Sydney Sprint: there's definitely bias here, but this is my favourite city track so far. nailed the theme, the music slaps, and great implementation of changing parts of the track each lap. there isn't a ton of obstacles, but there's a ton of variety. you drive through the opera house and do jumps off the harbour bridge, what's not to like?
Maple Treeway:
a Wii classic. another track where the narrowness is an interesting challenge and not a burden. ticks all the boxes of a great mario kart track.
Rainbow Road 3DS: the BEST rainbow road hands down. i'm just in awe of this track. visually stunning, full of tricks and surprises, and shows off the magic of space.
overall, i'm pretty happy with the DLC. some complain about the city circuits, some complain about the simplified aesthetics or retro track choices, and some are just waiting for Mario Kart 9. all i can say is i'm thrilled we're going to end up with 96 mario kart 8 deluxe tracks. this is cementing its legacy as the greatest mario kart yet.
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