hushed-potato - Tumblr blog

[hushed-potato]

Somehow you’re always there

Like a celestial body

Appearing out of thin air.

You walk and talk like

You never knew uncertainty.

As if you’re so sure

That everything will go

The way you will it to be.

And oh, what I would give

To spin and crash into your naivety.

So I could believe

You and I are as inevitable

As the pull of your gravity.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

It's a new year But I'm the same. I'm just as cruel to myself Still recklessly indulging In this loneliness and caving in. It's the closest thing I have That feels like being in your arms again.

- hushed-potato

[hushed-potato]

There are days when I wish it was still us.

Then, there are more days when I wish it had never been us.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

Now you are just a trigger. Baby, if you only knew how many times I’ve held the barrel against my head at the thought of you.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

Who would’ve known hoping was just me wrapping achors on my feet and watching salvation touch the bottom with me. There is no greater fear than to realize that your saving grace was nothing but a familiar name with no face.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

The irony in loss is the way an absence leaves your heart heavy. How do you put down the weight when you can’t hold it in your hands? And the audacity, turning our best moments and memories into devices that wrench and tear our hearts almost hopeless. Leaving you gasping and heaving, taking your breath away in ways you don’t wish to count.

- hushed potato, In memory of KJL 062888-073121

[hushed-potato]

I won’t lie.

It was a bit surreal seeing you,

I was trying so hard to play it cool.

But I couldn’t help the way my heart jumped when you reached out,

The way I struggled to swallow my nerves down.

I won’t lie.

I’ve been a little starved and deprived,

I didn’t think your touch would set me on fire.

I wish you’d left me with more than just the burns on my skin to show for it,

And I wish I could’ve held you longer in that moment.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

At my best, you are a mere thought at most. At my worst, I’m making memories with your ghost.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

You were the first to make me melt in all ways possible. I should’ve known you’d be capable of turning me ice cold.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

Seeing you is starting to incite uninviting things inside me.

Things I never thought I’d ever associate with you.

Careful, darling.

I’m starting to feel like someone you wouldn’t want to know.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

If you could please take my heart and wring it dry, extract from it every drop of love and desire, so that it may no longer ask of who, what, when, where, and why.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

You wondered why I look at you now with such cold eyes .

I’ve only known to look at you with the eyes of a love-drunk fool that you turned me into.

And when you took your love with you, I sobered up.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

You ask me to tell you of these things that haunt me inside. Darling, how do I tell you that you are the very one haunting me? And when I tell you about the darkness and my fears, you act as if monters and demons don't exist.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

I wish I knew how to love you from a distance. But I only knew how to love you in an up-close-and-personal-always-in-your-face-neverending type of way. So tell me how to love you while staying away.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

This is the loneliest place to be, in between having you but not being able to have you.

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

Every now and then I catch a glimpse of us in your eyes. It makes me wonder what it was that made me believe that there weren't anymore remnants of love left behind. And sometimes when my loneliness gets the best of me, I let the silhouette of your memory keep me company. 

- hushed potato

[hushed-potato]

Do you know what it feels like to finally forget you? Do you know how it feels like to finally forget your touch, your voice, your scent, your warmth, and your laugh? Do you know what it feels like to finally not have any lingering thoughts of you clouding my mind? Do you know what it feels like to not have my skin feel like it’s on fire when I hear your name? Do you know what it feels like to finally stop holding your breath, to be free of the invisible weight that’s been crushing your chest? Do you know? No...I don’t know, but you might.

- hushed potato