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#marita go get coffee
pigeoninabowl · 3 months
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What your favorite El Cuarteto De Nos album says about you!!
Alberto wolf- this one is not your favorite.
Soy una arveja- you have currently 27 different types of diseases and mental illneses! You also probably like to fuck dead corpses!
Emilio García- why. Just why.
Canciones del corazón - you strongly believe the song's CDC og version is better than the 2004 remake, and maybe you're right! Also you get really pissed off when Siempre Que Escucho Al Cuarteto gets called "tengo una muñeca vestida de azul"
Otra navidad en las trincheras- are you horny, a war criminal, racist, a slut, gay yet super straight ™ or all of the above? Either way, you still think Rosario is called "marita" instead of "marica" even though the second option makes more sense given the context of rosario's character
Barranca abajo- Skill issue: the album, maybe you are also suffering through skill issues in your life, you also often say barranca abajo is better than otra navidad en las trincheras
El Tren Bala- you're horny, but you dont get bitches, also, you want MONEI MONEI MONEI MONEI and you think this album is underrated af
Revista ¡¡Esta!!- You are either silly goober or currently under house arrest, there's no in-between
Cortamambo- You want sexual intercourse with another human being, despite only loving yourself and hating half of the population. You also seem the type of person to say "im not ___ but..." And then be angry on why you got cancelled (you are somehow lovable for me)
Raro- you drink black coffee, cry in your bed for hours, still waiting for your wife to change her mind and dont follow through the divorce, Your only coping mechanisms are: "it is what it is", drug abuse and making jokes about your despair. You want things to remain the same since you're scared of change.
Bipolar- FUCK things being the same, im angry and i want to change. I hate every single one of you, im fucking great, im so fucking great that im going to steal one of cortamambo's songs about how much i love myself, yeah, im a raging racist!!!!
Porfiado- you are living 4 stages of grieve at the same time, but not depression 'cause that thing is for pussies, you are a silly little anarchist and no matter what you will stay where your roots are, even if it costs you your social circle
Habla tu espejo- You say you're okay? Well you are not, go to therapy, i know about those 1 am texts you send to your friends saying "thanks for everything"
AZ- you like fantasy movies and stuff, when you were little you wanted to be an influencer because that sounded cool, you also have low-key angry ssues
Jueves- you 100% would start a political themed podcast, also you hate with every cell of your body those people that say that cdn died at jueves, quien quiere ver al hombre con alas tirado a las vías del tren?
Lámina once- So, if i had to guess, you're a BIG cris fan, you relate to them, you ship them with the porfiado guy, you think he looks cool and you want to cosplay them. If you have a tiktok account you TOTALLY have a flan 🍮 emoji right next to your name. 100% queer just like cris
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frostbitepandaaaaa · 3 years
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Iolokus, Chapter 2
IN SUM: alright shit is getting real good and it also seems like the characterizations are evening out somewhat, especially with some added context. and holy shit the smut... *fans self*.
more under the cut. spoilers!
But I continued on like the good little soldier that I am, brave little Scully with her gun and her badge trotting loyally alongside Mulder into one half-assed mess after another. I didn't cry, I didn't mourn, I continued. I showered, did my hair, dressed, put on my make-up and drove to work each day where I felt like I was watching the rest of the world through the glass of an isolation chamber.
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
this is such a crushing, painful summation of Scully as a character. it also deftly sums up what her upbringing was probably like, with a naval officer as a father. told time and again to pick yourself up and brush it off and keep solidering on. even after losing, presumably, the only child she will ever know, she keeps on and it's just so fucking sad. it also kind of justifies some of her anger/resentment.
It was fairly obvious to even someone with his head as far up his ass as I do that Scully was up to something. She was making me itch as though my clothes were filled with fiberglass. I spilled my coffee, dropped files, knocked my hip on an open drawer and generally acted like a teenager while she sat with her La Giaconda smile over her laptop. This was the situation where I wanted to bash her head into a pulp and take carnal revenge on her unconscious body. It occurs to me now that I should have taken advantage of the situation when she was in a coma years ago.
I never claimed to be normal, but at least I'm self-aware enough to know that I am not. Self-aware enough to keep my thoughts at a fantasy level rather than acting them out. Most of the time, anyway.
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
what the fuck, mulder? like, see, it's paragraphs like this that just truly mystify me. every bit of this paragraph is so on point-- having his head up his ass, being so flustered by Scully's coldness that he is like a new born colt learning how to fucking walk. but then they whip out this violent fantasy and like... ideations of rape? am i interpreting that correctly? where the fuck did this animosity come from? this violent appetite? like it's just so fucking wild and bizarre and does not align with the Mulder i think i know. i'm gonna be honest, this alone made me stop reading for a full week, hence the long gap between posts.
BUT, i'm glad i came back.
How do I know they slept together? Oh, please. After all this time together, I just knew. It was in the way he'd sit in our office on the mornings after, just a little looser, a little more slumped. The guilty-gloating looks he'd give me, liquid eyes shifting like mercury then freezing at my subzero glare.
I'm confident that after l'affaire Goldstein he didn't go back to her. Each time we have a crisis, Mulder finds some new betrayal to work on me. In his infinite transparent soul, lies are just promises he found he couldn't keep. But his body, unlike his mind, is a temple; my temple. I've written my name on it in gunshots and stitches. I've traced runes above it and bound him with a handshake. This is the only thing I know: he didn't sleep with her after we got back from Massachusetts.
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
i have a hard time imagining Mulder fucking anyone but Scully, of course, but especially Marita. she's as radioactive as Chernobyl and though Mulder can be a bit of an idiot when it comes to women, i think he's smarter than that. but that last paragraph is simply lovely. "I've written my name on it in gunshots and stitches." yeah you have, Sculls, yeah you have.
I felt the cancer move in my head, smiling at him. Yes, it said, come and play. To me it whispered: Relax, Dana, all God's children gotta fuck. What will it be like to slip away in morphine and bedsores knowing that you never had him?
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
the idea of Scully feeling the tumor in her head move, like a fetus in the womb, makes me want to puke. i think it's supposed to be purely figurative (god, i hope so), but still. Yuck. BUT, she makes a good point with the last sentence. she thinks she's dying and soon she will pay for her life with misery. why not fuck your very fuckable partner whom you trust?
I was losing her. She was drifting away from me faster than the cancer had taken her. Damn, it was so fucking cruel, to have her back and healthy and now -- she was buying a ticket on the Disoriented Express. It's a nice trip, I suggest everyone take a ride at least once. Gives you some perspective. It was such a cosmic joke. The planets finally aligned correctly and for "one brief shining moment" we were together, a functioning unit in the field, and a couple in bed. Then it was gone. Had I imagined the whole thing?
The first moment she walked into my office years ago in her ugly suit with her too-earnest face and her frumpy haircut, I was a dead man. You could have dragged me around a beach house and called it "Weekend at Mulder's". From the beginning, I've had a thing about intelligent women. Smart is sexy. Phoebe and I had planned on getting married and raising our own little serial killers one day, and, like all intelligent women, in the end she did me a serious injury. When we parted she took a chunk of my heart and all my Clash records. So when little Dana Scully tiptoed into my hotel room with her mosquito bites, I could have come in my pants like a kid. But I declared her off-limits, spending the nights with the Video Vixens and shooting putty at the moon while I thought about the way her skin smelled. Truth to be told, I had the sinking suspicion that her sexual interest in me was less than zero, no pun intended. I also suspected that she didn't like me very much most of the time.
But--
But that night when she took me home, my brain still swirling like a Slurpee dispenser at the 7-11, I looked at her pale little face and it was the hotel room with the mosquito bites again. My tripping brain was transposing her then face with her now face and I heard crickets outside even though it was winter. She looked so sad and so delicate that I wanted to -- I wanted to open her up like a bag of fresh-ground coffee and inhale her. I wanted to bury my face in her hair and never come up for air again. I wanted her to save me.
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
here's the Mulder i know. just lost, completely hopeless over Scully. not self aware enough to know how much she actually wants/needs him. a man who knows how to fuck a woman properly (listen, we just KNOW, okay. [there's a line a little before this in Scully's POV where she muses that his skill in oral sex makes him worth his own weight in gold-- in that character trait we can agree on rivkat/MustanngSally]). a man who is just sad and selfish enough to want Scully to save him. it's lovely and perfect and made me strap back in.
I steered her towards Americas, the overpriced overgrown diner that sprawled across one corner of the once-classy main atrium. The maitre'd's expression indicated that he wasn't sure if my suit was good enough, but gave us a table anyway. What kind of a world do we live in when a maitre'd can't tell a real Hugo Boss from a knockoff?
-- Iolokus, Chapter 2, rivkat & MustangSally
i have nothing much to say, just that i thought this was very funny and a very 'niche' Mulder. he wears bad suits. that's just how it is.
anyway, i am actually more looking forward to the next chapter. the authors are doing a great job not only revving up the tension between Mulder and Scully, but in the casefile behind them. and i'm excited to see how Scully is going to exact her revenge, because she was woefully denied that in the show.
more later. xxx
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icariahq · 4 years
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Thanks for applying Lauren! We look forward to seeing Noreen around the island. Make sure to send your blog in within the next 24 hours or reach out to us if you need an extension. Aimee Carrero is now taken.
BASE APP
( AIMEE CARRERO, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen NOREEN GOMEZ around icaria? they are the 26 year old child of ZEUS. they remind me of the sound of the human version of coffee, lightning on a misty night, multilingual insults, and late night talks around the neighborhood. They’ve been on the island for 8 YEARS.
OOC INFO:
NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE
It me. Lucifer  / She/Her  | 30 | EST
ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE
To damn long
IC INFO:
Please know that all of this is to help you get to know your own character better – and to allow for easier plotting with other members!
WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE ISLE?
FACECLAIM: Aimee Carrero NAME: Noreen Gomez AGE: 26 BIRTHDAY: January 31, 1994 OCCUPATION: N/A for the moment  HOMETOWN: Detroit, MI PETS: N/A… for now POWERS:
She can see and sense the electricity around her, from there she pull the electricity and turn it into small blasts of electricity she can throw at people.
BIOGRAPHY: TWs for:  Prostitution, death, drugs, addiction, child neglect
Marita Gomez was not a woman you could call kind, but damn was she beautiful. She had floated through life using her looks to get what she wanted, and while that got her money and attention it didn’t always serve to put her in a good place or have her care about anyone beyond herself.  By the time she was 18, she was one of the favorites who worked the street and pulled in money for her pimp. Sometimes she’d sleep with the clients, sometimes she’d lead them to those who could get them other black market items, she never really cared so long as she got her next hit and got her money in hand. But she was always the go-to if the cops showed up, petite little Marita could switch between looking as innocent as a lamb and as mouth-watering delicious as a stake to a starving man. 
It was that beauty that caught the King of the Gods’ attention. He swooped down from the heavens and took on the form of a human. Marita didn’t care, didn’t want to even know his name, he was just another client. Another fuck to get the drugs she wanted and the money she desired for the clothes she needed. The two had one night of passionate lovemaking before Zeus fucked off back to Mount Olympus and left a now, unknowingly pregnant, Marita. It only took two months before she was showing, three before her clientele started to change to those with a fetish for pregnancy; and by the time she had had her baby? She had grown a following of – eclectic men. 
Noreen Gomez was born addicted to coke and in a situation, no kid should be in. Until she was 5 Noreen barely had any contact with those outside of the “family” her mother had cultivated. People flitted in and out of their house, watching her grow while her mom was at work. Sometimes it was the teens from down the street who watched the baby for a small hit when Martia returned home, sometimes it was for a bit – handsier of an exchange. Other times it would be the other sex workers who would occasionally – coo and aww over the baby and other times – forget she existed until she cried for milk or a change. At 5 – well everyone assumed the child was old enough to take care of herself, they stopped caring as much. She was left home alone to make herself food, bathe and change herself and to try and keep the house – somewhat clean. That was something her mom started to expect of her when Noreen was able to walk and remember things. 
As a young kid, she worried constantly about where her next meal would come from if they had water, power, all the things kids should never think about. So when the power was shut off one day and she was home alone – it was dark out and she was terrified. Little six-year-old Noreen let out a cry that – well, she wouldn’t know for years why it worked, but the power was suddenly back on, the lights and tv flicked back to life. She never questioned it, and neither did her mother when the electricity bill stopped coming but the power… somehow stayed on. 
She started school not long after and while the teachers raised eyebrows and tossed worried looks her way – no one called CPS, no one ever came to check on the obviously neglected Noreen. She learned very early on that adults were trash, and the only people who really cared were the other kids. That was the one time she got any sort of good in her life – when she slept over at a friend’s house and could relax, and just … be a kid. 
By 10 Noreen understood how the streets operated, she understood how to get and take without getting in trouble, without getting adults to look at you twice. She understood how to run a con, how to get a bit of extra cash. Her protection? Well, it seemed like she was always a bit electrified. A bit energetic and too quick. You touched her when she wasn’t expecting it? You’d get a nice little shock. No one really questioned it – static electricity but stronger. So she generally felt safe. Most of the time. 
She had just scammed a man out of twice the amount of money the product she had was worth when she ran face-first into Jarvis. He had been shocked, both literally and physically, by a 10-year-old who seemed to have a giant wad of cash she was trying to stuff into her non-existent bra. There was a quick exchange of words and meeting of his “kids”  before she understood that she could make more and not have to worry so much if she worked for him. It’s not like her mother would care – it’s not like her mother took care of her. So she agreed and was welcomed into the fold. 
By 12 more children had joined Jarvis’ little crusade and Noreen had become known as Spark or Spitfire – mostly because of the static shocks or the words that came out of her mouth. A mixture of Spanish and English and 90% of it cursing your existence. But despite that she became a bit of a mother hen to the other kids, looking out for them and making sure they had food or a place to sleep. It’s not like her own mother cared; So Noreen took in the kids, and they slept on the pull-out couch. They were always out by 9 am (when her mother woke up and usually would start bitching), but came back each night to sleep or just have someone to talk to. 
A school friend, one not involved in the life she lived on the streets, had invited her over for a slumber party… turns out it was a surprise birthday party. But the sudden kids jumping out and yelling surprise scared Noreen enough that every light in the house arced and blew out. Before they could finish the word the city block had lost power and it was spreading. Noreen knew it was her; she could feel the sparks arcing from her fingertips to the light switch mere inches from her hand, she could see the electricity in the air. No one else seemed to notice – most just screamed because the power went out but it quickly turned into laughter and lightning candles as they got cake and settled down.  But Noreen… Noreen couldn’t stop looking around, it wasn’t just that some friends had decided to do something so nice for her, but the fact that she could register where all the electricity in the room was by sight and sound. She could hear it humming in the walls, she could see it connecting switches and lights.  
This fascination carried over into school and when she was in science class doing experiments with her lab partner it all went just a bit sideways as she tried to manipulate the electricity in her experiment… and she somehow got electrocuted, except it was bad enough she ended up at the hospital. There she was alone, there the doctors looked her over, ran a battery of tests, and realized – this poor teen was on drugs, electrocuted and no one was coming to get her. They confined her to the hospital. They called every number they could and it wasn’t until the fifth call that a woman picked up the phone. She claimed to be Noreen’s mother, that Noreen had been living with her aunt for the past year while she was away on assignment in Greece. She had “no idea” about any of this and hadn’t heard from either in a month. She had “been trying to reach them and would be on the first flight out.” 
Noreen told them she was lying, that her mother was not some weird jet setter that lived in another country but a bitch of a lady who lived in the slums. Still; they kept her they started to help her detox and get clean of all the drugs in her system. Two days in she was experiencing severe withdrawals and angry as hell. That was the day her “mother” showed up. She was a beautiful woman, sure, and they looked sort of alike, but not really. But somehow… she had all the paperwork, she knew too much to not be her mom. Noreen felt like her head was in a fog, nothing made sense anymore. She was required to stay another three days before her “mom” could take her. 
But the minute she could the two were on a plane back to Greece. The plane ride was agony and they didn’t really talk. Noreen wasn’t sure what was happening or why or who this woman was but she – also couldn’t get the questions out. So when they finally landed in Greece and she was brought to a temple she was needless to say… very confused. The next five weeks were spent in Hera’s temple with the priestesses. They cared for her and helped her get clean, they taught her meditation and how to calm herself, they took her to the doctor and got her any help they could… and within three months of that faithful day back in Detroit, she was clean. She had cravings, sure, but she now knew ways to deal with it. 
Noreen found out that the woman who had got her was in fact not her mother, but apparently her father’s wife. Hera. This was her temple. She was a Greek goddess and Noreen was the daughter of Zeus – making her a demi-god. She chalked up this weird story to withdrawal and tried to ignore it. But she realized very quickly there was no ignoring this. It made sense with the shocks her whole life, the fact she could see electricity running through the walls, see it everywhere. Hera told her she was welcome to stay so long as she helped around the temple. 
So she did. She helped clean, she learned the ways and she started back up schooling. It didn’t take long for her to make friends. Scout and Lachlan. They became the three musketeers telling one another almost everything… though even to this day she’s still not told everyone her full past. It just hurts too much to think about. But those two – they know more than anyone else. It was this level of trust that started to make Noreen open to the idea of feelings. There was Scout… her best friend who was just so damn pretty. She would watch her when the other wasn’t paying attention and just sigh. Hoping that one day – they could be more. 
But as time passed and the other never really showed much interest Noreen resigned herself to looking outside of their friend group for comfort and love. – well until the day that Scout decided she needed to have a conversation with her and – just kissed her. Needless to say, Noreen was on cloud nine and the two began dating. For years the two were happily in love, and Noreen was certain that they would one day get married. 
Hell, she had a ring picked out and everything! She was ready to go. But she knew better than to propose before Scout finished law school. She would not distract her girlfriend from that endeavor with a wedding. But Scout got more and more absorbed and slowly started fading from the relationship. She stopped wanting to go out, stopped really – even paying attention to Noreen. And after years and years of being ignored by her mother to have Scout, the one person she loved more than anything she blew up. The two argued and shouted and – Noreen stormed out. She just needed some air. Needed a moment to refocus and figure it out… and she would get it. 
Five years of thinking and air. For that night was the first kidnapping. The night that Nyx herself snatched her off the street and put her in the meadows. She was terrified, confused, and utterly unsure of what the fuck was happening. Nyx appeared with her son Weston, and they explained that they had a plan to get Zeus’s attention, that they were sorry they had to take her and she would be back once they got to talk to the man. Noreen tried to tell them that Zeus didn’t care about her, that she had only met him a couple of times, and that he was a trash god. They agreed on that part but they thought – he’d realize that one of his own was taken, that Hera was throwing a hissy fit at Noreen’s vanishment and would do something. But they underestimate the god’s willingness to care about anything other than the next lay he was going to get.
So she’s been in purgatory for five years. Honestly? She hasn’t really noticed the passage of time. It’s like she’s told people, “Time has no meaning here, 1 minute here could be an hour back on earth, 1 day a year. Or it could be 1 minute is 5 years. There are days where I felt like I’ve been here for centuries and days where it felt like five seconds. In the end, I’m here and I like it.” Instead, Noreen dedicated herself to learning how to do all manner of things, she can happily say she’s a much more well-rounded person than she had been in her teens or the last time she saw and felt the earth beneath her feet.  
Being back on earth, away from the meadows is going to be a huge transition for her. But she’s ready to see what the fuck life has in store  – and to kick her father’s ass.
ANYTHING ELSE:
CHAOS. 
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top1course · 5 years
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7+ FIGURE CANADIAN SELLER SECRETS REVEALED | ADVANCED STRATEGIES FOR SELLING IN THE USA FROM CANADA
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Yes so they they are alive in the Bronco group so I will on the asking questions and I’ll be periodic, likely checking the brown belt group, comments as well, that we have some some questions that have we have written down if we can kind of jump in too quickly for everyone, if the first kind of portion that everyone is kind of curious about his certification so what certification, if any do we need to sell, from Canada in the US or from Canada in Canada, okay well from Canada, i recommend you start as a sole proprietor, start off extra, so you don’t need a corporation, might need an importer number, import stuff from China, are you going to need any, and you can get that by calling this year, order number, and then what’s your sister doing over 30 grand, rainier and sell in China, you need a GST number, And then depending on your, now 4, canadian spelling, it’s basically the same thing, open a corporation start off, and, you want me to just number cuz it’s in, you don’t really need any, unless you want to get in, i just literally just got an EIN, you don’t need anything., okay cool, okay so then you kind of already answered incorporate in Canada or LLC answered sole proprietor, quiet, you can always incorporate from the beginning but, extra fees for no reason, and then, i’d say, portrayed in Canada, specialized accountant in USA, are you going to get double tax because you’ll get back, incorporation, okay KO and then do you have a like a website or how do you how do you normally do that in Canada is it an easy process or, tricks that you found, play to, example you know there’s certain states in the USA that have better you know LLC legislation right, Yeah I know in Canada is it’s a little bit, federal corporations number company, canada, call Sky., or just what I have so mine is like a number, alberta Limited, any of the two is, federal or provincial images, wister okay so you recommend prevention answers our next question so then, where where to get a bank account people are kind of wondering like about cross-border physical like whether you get one in the US or Canada and, how kind of a currency exchange works, question, i didn’t know Alexis the winds on horses, country where your bank is, the routing, helping you in Canadian dollars, even if the US dollar, and usually is like twice they see, what you want to do if you want to set up, you’re going to have to set up, arsenal, these ones you can open one with RVC, BMO.
These are the only, how that works is, future, and US dollar, base in the US, and then you have a US dollar, account-based in Canada, canadian dollar account, amazon in US dollars, senior us, account in USA, and then you just transfer it, online from US to Canada, that’s for sole proprietor, ava Corporation, business cross-border account, and then, that’s the only one that does business card holder, expensive, so then just as summarize quickly and the best way to avoid losing on exchange rates selling from Canada, in the USA is what, is opening across, conversion, because the bank is actually in the US, amazon, i’ll pay you twenty Grand, ananas versus, living in Canada with a Canadian bank account selling on Amazon USA they convert when they when they process it into your Seller Central, exactly so you can do that too but Amazon thinks about 3.5% conversion rate, Manufacturing, you’re going to have to come back to USA, yesterday it’s a simple calculation guys right to 3.5% if that is more or less than $100 per month charge Plus, what’s the setup fee right and then also considering, also considering that you have to pay your manufacturers in USD, so we’re going to hop quickly into the actual group questions I see some coming up now have you ever used, payoneer, no I have never, i know, and then why so you’re selling in the u.s. and Canadian Market or just the US, so can you talk quickly people are wondering kind of you know either or if you’re if you’re setting, for the first time what’s your kind of thoughts are selling in both markets and if you do have a recommendation as to you know picking just, swan, i definitely recommend, Start off, volume on., 467 months now, and why cells and Canada are about, marita 4% of what I, the population is 10 times more than, i was estimating myself would give up 10% of what I, and then on top of that, in Canada import duties on average or twice as much as in the, so you have, firing order, higher shipping rates from, asia to Canada, and navigation, started 40% more for the same product in Canada than in the, really doesn’t make any sense I definitely recommend, okay cool, all right so people are asking some more questions about bank accounts let’s let’s just clarify really here, the cross-border bank account was called what again, open a personal account, business is, it’s only offered by RV, and then if you’re selling as a sole proprietor you can open, personal cross-border account, and that’s either what’s RBC, or, okay, people people are curious about, Trademarks and patents do you have much experience with that in the US and Canada and kind of what the differences are, do they enforce trademarks in Canada from the USA and vice versa, it’s actually two different countries rights, uSM Canada, and the process was very similar is just two different entities sold for you as I went on us, remember how much, drums for 50, it’s around 4:50, the same but it’s not USPTO it’s called, intellectual property, industry whatever something like that, registered in the US is not, you should register for, nus, easy I did it myself, something like that, right right right, i don’t have any actually I just started, a friend of mine, got a licensing agreement, alberta, so it’s the same Principle as, market in China and then vice versa, somebody is asking about Amazon Seller Central right so do you need to separate account, For Canada and us or can you have one login and.
Dual membership, yeah it’s actually a North American accounts, on your, quran.com right but I know if you start on. See I think it’s actually cheaper, but they’re all they’re all on the same, you just login, seller Central, are you can choose, mX, okay cool, answer this is a very specific question and I don’t know anything about Canada Canadian taxes but, suicide is the w-8ben e, sufficient to take care of the tax situation so you can declare all of your income in Canada and only pay Canadian tax, taxes if you do sell in the USA, yeah that’s that’s, that’s kind of a gray line, i talked to accountants to said, yes that’s good enough, declare that money in Canada and, amazon us have a double taxation treaty, so what they say is basic, If we declare all that money in Canada, vice versa, teacher for us, generally speaking insurance, this one is about actual kind of like supplier relations have you ever, i successfully been able to pay in Canadian dollars and if so do you have any tips for doing so, august, warrenton or getting better, the US dollar and Buddy used to be 1.3, i know I’ve never been able to negotiate its dollars, i don’t have any pets, that’s why it’s better if you get paid in US, can you wire transfers directly to a, aggreko, so this one kind of a comparison of of the metrics you’re looking for as far as a product to a product, techniques to enter cell, they’re kind of comparing, what is good volume being sold each month right for example if the top 10 sellers are doing 3,000 per month combined in the, what are you kind of looking for in the Canada side, You know comparing 300 million in the US versus 35 in Canada, that’s basically what I was saying earlier, 10% of the numbers of amazon.com, transport 10%, the population, generally you have to look at 12, it’s probably closer to 5%, 3000, text, so do you just another one for taxes do you file your own business tax return so I think I know the answer this but, or do you pay an accountant to do it and what would you consider a reasonable price for filing a corporate tax return, no actually so I have money in my account, every quarter and, they charged me, 50 bucks an hour, just never looked elsewhere so, okay cool, mindinsole, somebody’s asking kind of about when you first started were you kind of immediately profitable after your first product or did it take Youssef, products to become profitable, how long are you selling on Amazon before you kind of, Commit to at full-time, my first product was profitable so I started with one and, reinvested profits from, so basically I kept my day job, about 10 months, and I would reinvest like 100% of coffee, aren’t you more inventory more products, and then after 10 months I quit my job, a business that I was doing. So I just quit my job, took me about 10 months and yes I was, agrokor, this one’s about Outsourcing, you Outsource any parts of your business if so what was the first thing you Outsource and like what would you recommend people who work on, starting out to, think about as their first a portion of outsourced, yeah that’s really, yeah I do actually quite a bit of my operations, right now I have for full-time, virtual assistant, first parts that that I wanted to kind of get rid of an outsourced were, Customer service.
And social medias, customer service or social media, i might take care of it, and then, and then I kind of have a right-hand guy, other than, what I do is, we don’t run out of inventory, sure, look for new products and stuff like that, so do you guys have a partnership I can Equitable partnership set up or how do you allocate percentages of promise, the other, no cuz you were saying that like you have your right-hand man is that a VA as well or is that a partner, i like one, share amount every month, and that Genesee urologist in the golden sister, silly goodbye, so are you are you sourcing vieilles from like at the Philippines how country are using local, i found them online, alright so, we have some people wondering what accounting software do you use as far as you know keeping track of things you said you filed quarterly, Really so kind of could you talk about that process, no, santa Tracker, i use cash cow Pro, like software, since you’re pretty good idea where you’re at, so everything that you supply to your account you export from Cash Cow Pro, no not even to have a an idea, day-to-day operations how profitable, every quarter II, literally took my backpack, i have, and bring all that to my account, kind of know where I’m going where has, when I bring them all my, it’s pretty close but I have other expenses that are not in chest, office supplies, el Greco, after product research what in your opinion is the most important thing selling a product successfully, i really important, especially, get it off the ground before you actually have your father’s right as she build an audience on, And stuff like that, right, what would you say is the biggest challenge for a Canadian who is just starting out in once, sell on the US market, biggest trout, there’s not that many leaves, it’s pretty simple, yeah mean the US Navy dealing with sales tax, cuz I know that scares a lot of, right, and it did, you just have to wait in there, the risks and the rewards of it and, only sell if you’re just starting out, there’s no way they govern, mm, thanks a lot, so I’d say if that’s yours you lost them, just push forward, don’t worry about, distractions, cool so did you self incorporate or did you use a lawyer’s last service to do it for you, that company I have is, i started it and it was open, the lawyer, go to the registration open, it’s much cheaper than going to war, I know cuz I’m function backwards, registries office, oracle, how would you describe a typical day of doing business IE wake up at 8 a.m. check email check selling product Resources contact, suppliers Exedra if you could walk us through the day in the life of Canadians teller that would be great, it’s been it’s been different, beaches from IC from 0 to 60, pretty easy, 45 hours a week, i’m just checking inventory make sure I had enough, do a wire transfer, check my CPC, and that’s pretty much it, now over that, customer service, inventory of 25-30 products has been printed in one or two, but I see now, i’m right now honestly I’m in the, kind of, systemization of my business, that takes quite a bit of time song, i right now with my dude look like a car, wake up at like 8, sex with my family, Coffee and then.
Come to the office at around 9 9:30, and then, i check my emails to respond to all of them, check for emails from my supplier, and then check emails from my case, how much money we made yesterday, and then and then I just go on with my to do list, yeah and right now that’s pretty much all I do, for the people who don’t know what is Opie’s are could you please describe that and then could you also talk of, a bit what like the mean, utilization of your V Azar, standard operating procedures, the difference between a small business, system, that is a small business, cuz you’re doing every, nation of the business, renew to actually be able to work on me, description of every task in your business, ordering paper, or ordering products and, every little thing, if there’s a, and watch out. Setup then, Oh no, we may have just lost, charles, oru if you screen just went black, yeah, i can see your I can see your image now, yeah my light still on, are there you go, using a business will have, i’m just getting started song, so it’s basically the standardization of processes, just the kind of you know remove yourself even further and increase automation, yeah and then with my VA seems like I said earlier, specific to customer service, and then and then the other one is paying for social medias and, and then, my other guy, basically, pretty much everything else takes care of, hijackers, everything you can, oracle, okay cool, we have a question about a you know selling off of Amazon do you have a presence in the Shopify or any other type, are you exclusively Amazon, yeah I do have my own website, We’re slowly growing it, and investing in Espanol, i haven’t had any, results with Facebook ads, my website, right now we knew about, 10% of what my Amazon sales are, i thought that but it could be better and obviously you want to diversify because, in the long run, agreed, so do you always get samples if so how many do you ask for and who do you make, make sure receives a sample besides yourself with anyone, yeah that’s a good question, what the way I’ve been building my business is I’ve been throwing my, can only one nation I don’t get into any other language, and I’ve been dealing with the same supplier for 3, they have a lot of products that are not on, and so I only deal with them eyes ass other, manufacturers for four different kinds, so far I haven’t found, i have signal, Just a little bit different, and I usually, get one myself, i always always ask, so do you how do you actually handles product photography done, i’m doing this right now, so I found a, photography Studio, i don’t put them to the last, rechargeable $25, this time around I wanted to, maybe trying to Philippines cuz I figured, it’s a little bit cheaper not that much, it was too hard to, always, you know the guy or lady, make sure you, ended up actually going back to my, apple’s I bring them to the, tell them exactly what I want, that’s what I do now but the first, yeah I think we’ve all been there so do you use a inspection company to verify the quality or, or since you kind of had the same manufacturer for so long you don’t do it anymore of what what are your thoughts on that, The first time you’re dealing with a manufacturer in China.
Definitely, fire inspection company, turn myself since it’s been 2 years and I know the quality, i never do it, cool, i’m going to have you ever dabbled in retail and online Arbitrage giorgiporgi strictly a private label from the start, tricking private label, baby wholesale, jennifer for big retailers, i’m not ready yet to jump into that, rar, or online, geico, three more questions for you, are there any niches that are hot in Canada think hockey and not in the US that we could Target specifically for the Canadian, market, wow, hachiya and everything that has to do with snow, quad stuff like that, but other than that, i don’t know cuz I don’t search for products anymore, you know when you’re you’re always in that face searching for new products it’s easier to, just stayed in that same Niche I’ve been since the beginning and I don’t look for other niches so, I don’t really know even in the US like obviously fidget Spinners and stuff like that would have been good a few months, okay cool, lots of accountants aren’t specialized in e-commerce business in general and internet businesses, especially for those that sell in the US, any tips are resources you can share for Canadian sellers, yasso, online experience at all, i did find one in Canada so it’s a company called, life, live CA LLP, they’re based out of Toronto and Halifax, and they specialize like their younger guys and they specialize their online businesses, now the only reason I didn’t go with them was because they were way too expensive like, way more than what I was paying, but these are the ones I know that actually specialized, okay cool, and last question, Before we go back to any of the life questions in the Facebook groupies are still kind of the ones from of the, the list, would you mind sharing a freight forwarder that you’ve been successful with who offers a great guys that might be at, advantageous for cat, i just started using Freight forwarders because I’m going to start shipping, before that I was always doing Air Cargo or air Express, so I didn’t I never used before my supplier would literally ship with their own, i know the one I’m dealing with and I know other big sellers in Canada are using as a freight forwarder, california, okay, when you when you aren’t using a freight forwarder cuz you walk us through it like your involvement using your suppliers DHL, count like from start to finish how are you actually even involved in that at all, air express is really, You didn’t ask for it, that’s pretty straightforward when you, if there’s any duties to, charge to the Spurs account which is your manufacturer, and then we can invoice you later for that, no, when I use her car looks a bit different., and then an importer of record, in my case I would I do this for the ultimate Amazon, i gave, aHL rap I gave him the, address from Amazon, seller Dash Imports at amazon.com, and then DHL customs broker, brokers contact Amazon, and you said yes I don’t know, and answer the Importer of record, you or your business or, manufacturers, it was my manufacturer, flaxseed acting for death record, okay, and then, cool, all right about 212 people watching you on Facebook and a ton more on YouTube, there’s about a million you two questions I’m going to probably I’m going to restrict this to Facebook just so we don’t, Take out the next 18 hours of your life.
But, just a couple more questions then from Facebook and then we’ll let you go appreciate your time, how long did it take you to find your first product and when did you decide to go for your second, okay so at the time two years ago I didn’t know jungle Scout exist, the way I always thought with the goal search manual, best sellers, that’s what I do, can’t remember exactly what it was anywhere between 30 and 40 hours of research, 30 hours and then, december, so about 5 or 6 months, and that that takes into account like the launch phase and all the kind of, you know portions of the go along with selling her first part of right it wasn’t like, yeah you found your product on January 1st and if you found your next one on May 1st it was kind of like you, And I have to ship it in to Amazon and all that, cracked, you’re actively selling, like I said I kept my job and I just, enough money to order a second product, over $7 US exchange rate plus shipping store, took me awhile to get that money too, okay, so knowing what you know now would you have gone back in time and stayed at your job for 10 months or would you have done anything differently, no I think I would have done the same, maybe I should have stayed at my job a little bit longer it would have, show my business even a little faster, i was just so sick of it, yeah I say 10 months like probably, that would definitely, hey Batter okay, i’m so do you sell the EU Market at all are you strictly, okay, I got friends here we selling, and Spain and France and, and do you use commercial liability insurance on somebody saying that they heard it was better to find someone who’s in the same car, country is you, commercial Insurance are kind of, especially for $1000000, 1 million US dollars in liability, canadian one in Canada, and yeah she needing manufacturers Insurance not just like a commercial insurance because, when you do private label your considered, insurance Brokers for their stuff right, how do you manufacture, i can’t remember they’re based out of, yeah we can follow up with you there’s no there’s no worries about that, so there’s a few more you still have like five more minutes or something cool, so when you import products into the u.s. being, okay sorry we actually already answered this one thing, does a does cross-border account require a Us address to set up, No, okay cool, so that looks like, pretty much all you’ve already answered you don’t do wholesale TD also offers cross-border business account somebody saying, we already answered the patent question, so if anybody else has any final questions for Charles will you know ask them now or if not you know we can, always follow up I guess the last kind of question is, there’s some Canadian students of mine who are wondering if it’s okay, to you know reach out to you if they have any questions or if you have like an email address or the address your YouTube channel, obviously share as well, there’s a private messaging system, otherwise, give me the link, nice yet we will we will share the YouTube channel guys in the description or if anybody wants, you know his YouTube they can just message me the Warsaw Concerto in the student groups, So thank you thank you so much for coming on man obviously it’s so funny like you join The Mastermind probably like a year.
Year ago and now we finally get to see your face and get the grill you a little bit about Canadian selling, yeah, alright man thanks thanks for having me, yeah I’m sure it did and maybe we can get you on some other day so enjoy the rest of your day, i will talk to you soon, thanks you too, take care,
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Confidences in Allah (2015) by Marie Avril and Eddy Simon
This book recently published in Sweden, i went into it blindly because of the beautiful cover art!
I was so surprised seeing this soft cartoon style reminding me of Disney, but then have lots of mature themes of sex and despair. The story follows our narrator, a 16 year old nameless women, living poorly at a sheep farm, prostituting in secret for food.
One day an expensive luggage falls off a tourist bus, and it contains not only lots of money, but brand clothing and perfume. The young girl realize she is pregnant and is shamed off the property by her parents.
She takes her luggage and bribes herself a room above a bar with help of BJs. She works as a cleaner in the morning and prostitute at night, a man even proposes to her because of her being confident in her sexuality. But turns him down. Even if she's good at sex, she reveals to Allah that she hates it, it actually makes her very sad and depressed.
She births a baby in the gutter, where she also leaves it.
She eventually gets a job as a caretaker for some spoiled teenagers at a rich mansion. One of the sons rapes her, and i think even the father of the house too? They use her as a prostitute.
She is then later hired as private escort for a rich sheikh and becomes one with his harem. The women gets completely spoiled in richness, expensive clothing and jewelry. But one day police raid the mansion, and the sheikh bribes the police to leave his family alone but gives the OK to arrest his escorts.
The woman spends 3 years in jail where she finds herself deeper in to religion. When released, she spends her time at a mosque, where she is noticed by another rich man. This man is much kinder, and asks to make her his third wife. Which she agrees.
The stepmom sit and watch them consummate their marriage in the dark, to make sure she's a virgin. MC just fakes it by drawing blood from her arm and stain the sheets with blood afterwards.
She lives a somewhat happy life there for a while, til both stepmom and the husband dies of old age. She's still young but now back on the street again so she decides to move back home to the farm.
Her parents welcome her with open arms, forgot she even was pregnant (pretends it never happened?) and celebrate her success when seeing all the money. She feel content caring for sheep again.
Very unusual book for me to read, it was well written but it annoys me so so much how much power men had over her even if her sexuality was presented as a "power move". A solid 3/5 stars because the story definitely caught me!
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Malena and the Happiness (1969) by Marita Lindquist
Ten year old Malena's mother has a nasty cold that won't go away. She's sent to rest up at the hospital for a week, but instead, the stubborn cold turns out to be serious pneumonia, and the mother never comes home again.
Shocked and distraught, Malena and her little brother along with their father has to continue their days without mother. A beautiful funeral is held but despite Christmas coming up, the family decide not to decorate.
Malena, being only a young child, help herself work through her mother's death by playing that she's always waiting. She'll go stand in the corner in the street and tell herself "ugh where is she, late again.." and pretend she just missed her, then going home from school to an empty house.
Malena still has school activities, and hang out with friends and collect cards of cute dogs but always feel guilty for having fun, when her mom is not able to feel this emotion anymore.
She also thinks that, as the lone female in the household, she now has to learn to do housework. Despite being so young! When i read her trying to cook coffee and running errands, i felt so sad for her! You're just a kid, you don't have to stress like that! Buhu.. 😭
The father decide that they will celebrate Christmas at grandma. Malena involving herself with the grown-up's errands is worried she no longer will receive Christmas gifts. She feel sad when only given an album for her cards from grandma, a very serious and organized gift. And an envelope from dad.
But when opening the envelope, her dad has drawn a ugly dog card for her collection, this one with the note "I'm will be ready in 2-3 weeks, please wait for me" — and he is giving her a dog!! She start crying for happiness, and confess she feel guilty for feeling happy. And dad comfort her that mother would have wanted to her kids to be happy.
And they lived happily ever after! I liked it, and the illustrations were like line-art sketches, very cute! 3/5 stars
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locking out the ghosts chapter four (of seven)
chapter one, chapter two, chapter three
s5 fic: spoilers for patient x and the red and the black, part of my series that i write as i rewatch the x files.
yeah, the chapter count went up again. this thing is turning into a monster.
Mulder ends up dropping Scully off at home after they leave the hospital, under her request to let her drive herself to work. She must have stopped somewhere for lunch, because she doesn’t get back to the office until hours later. By then, Mulder has already gotten the results he called about on their way back from Skyland Mountain. “Are you ready for this?” he asks as she enters the room, getting up and rounding the desk. “I've been going over the initial forensics and pathology reports from the incident at Skyland Mountain and, while the event itself remains unexplained, I think it's less than a mystery who's involved—at least for me, and certainly for you.” He’s handed her a report, and now he crosses to the UV light. “Our pathologists here haven't finalized their reports, but I was able to have three victims selected at random for x-rays.” She joins him in front of where he has put the x-rays up, watching. “That's how I found these—small pieces of what looks like metal in the charred cervical tissue,” he says, “here... here... and here.” He points to each of them in turn. Back of the neck, same spot as Scully’s. He has the spot memorized, has felt it buzz with her pulse under his lips. Her life rooted in one tiny piece of metal. He looks at Scully, who is staring at the board in astonishment. She turns to face him, still looking incredulous. “Implants,” he clarifies softly.
She seems speechless, to a degree, still saying nothing, so he continues on, crossing over to the desk. “I followed up with the families of the three victims and I found that none had any cult associations but two out of the three belong to the local mutual UFO networks, and both of them claimed abduction experiences, and both of them were being treated by a medical health practitioner over the past few months,” he says, showing her the file.
“For what?” she wants to know.
“Take a look.” He motions at the paper.
She looks down and begins reading aloud in a hushed voice, "’Major depressive disorder characterized by periods of sustained anxiety and paranoia. Patient believes he will be contacted or called to an undisclosed place where he will be abducted by aliens.’" She almost seems unsurprised.
“The implants triggered those responses. Those people were led to Skyland Mountain.”
“By whom?”
“By the same government that put the implant in you, to function as a homing mechanism,” he says, possibly a little less gently than he should.
“Mulder, that doesn’t make sense,” she insists, but she almost sounds like she is trying to convince herself.
“Why not? A tracking system using military app satellite technology to monitor test subjects. Or to stage what people might otherwise believe are alien abductions.” Believe the lie, that’s their game—or so he’s told himself a million times.
“But they weren't abducted,” she argues. “They were led to their deaths. And for what purpose?”
He shakes his head a little, biting his lower lip. “I don’t know that yet.”
She sighs a little. “Yeah, Mulder…” She sounds terribly uncertain, maybe even scared. The phone begins ringing and Mulder walks towards it. “Maybe you shouldn't be so quick…” Scully says, voice wavering, sighing smally, “... to rule out what Cassandra Spender has to say.”
He looks up at her, in some surprise. Of all the things he expected Scully to say, it certainly wasn’t that. She holds his gaze, her only sign of nerves the way she licks her lower lip. He nods, an acknowledgement, before turning away to answer the phone. It’s Marita, claiming that a similar event to Skyland Mountain has just occurred in the Soviet Union. She insists there is a connection, gives her location and tells him to go there and wait for directions. Then he hears a scuffling sound on the other end, a gasp. “Marita?” he asks, concerned. “Mar…” He’s turning towards Scully, to tell her that they have to go, and he suddenly sees that she is not there. The office is empty. He hangs up the phone.
His mind working quickly, he deduces that she must’ve gone home, that she has to have gone home. It’s been a long day—he took her back to her abduction site, for fuck’s sake—and she could probably use the rest. She seems more than done with all of this. Looking at the black receiver, he decides that Marita needs a more immediate response and scribbles out a quick note to Scully on the way out the door in case she comes back. He doesn’t see her on the way out of the building, but her car is gone from the parking garage. On his way to the payphone, he calls her cell phone three times, to try and find out where she went. She doesn’t pick up.
Mulling over it, he decides that she must’ve gone to see Cassandra Spender. If Scully really did believe her, then she’d do everything in her power to get all the answers. Maybe she’s with Cassandra Spender and she doesn’t want to interrupt their time talking to take his phone calls, or maybe her phone is dead. When he finds the payphone Marita directed him to empty, with a white substance smeared up and down the open door, he decides to call Cassandra’s room and try to get in touch with Scully.
Jeffrey Spender answers. Clear he has no special love for Mulder, he demands to know why Mulder is calling his mother. “I'm actually looking for Agent Scully,” says Mulder. “I haven't been able to reach her, and she said that—”
“She’s not here,” Spender says, exasperated. “Nor is my mother.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She’s gone from her room.”
“Gone where?” Mulder prods, his mind working. Is it possible that Scully could’ve come and gotten Cassandra? No, no, not in the time since they’ve both left the Bureau… and she had no good reason to do so that he can think of…
“Look, she's just gone,” Jeffrey says, frustrated. “Don't you get it? She's got nowhere to go.”
Mulder leans against the side of the booth with one arm. “Do you have any theories? Any idea what might’ve happened?”
Jeffrey Spender hangs up, the dial tone harsh in his ear. Damn, Mulder thinks, he must really dislike me. Well, it's not the first time.
With no sign of Marita and no answers as to where Scully might be, he leaves. He tries Scully’s phone twice more on the way back; still no answer. He decides to go to Scully’s apartment to see if she is there, tell her Cassandra is missing. But no one answers when he knocks.
He uses his key and finds it empty, the rooms hollow. He spent the night here many times during their relationship, and several other evenings before that, working on casefiles at the table or on the couch. But it's not the same without Scully in it. He feels like an intruder here alone. When he goes back to check Scully’s bedroom, he finds a chair jammed under the doorknob of her spare bedroom.
“Scully?” he calls nervously, opening the door to her bedroom. It’s empty, blankets rumpled on one side. The other side is tucked in, neatly smoothed over half of the bed. His side. He swallows, turns and walks out.
He has no idea where or how to find Scully, so he does the only thing that feels right: he goes back to work and waits for her to show up. He flips through files of the Skyland Mountain incident, looking for any potential leads. He calls the coroner’s office where they are painstakingly identifying and autopsying the victims for any more intel. He tries Scully’s phone a few more times to no avail.
Sometime after eleven, Mulder leaves the Bureau and goes straight to Scully’s place. She’s still not there. She’s still not there, and he’s starting to get frightened. Chewing his lower lip and wondering if she’s avoiding talking to him in particular, he calls her from her home phone. No answer. Rubbing his forehead, he tries calling Skinner instead. (Home number, not office.) “Walter Skinner,” the older man says grouchily into the phone, sounded still half-asleep.
“Sir, it’s Agent Mulder,” he says, clutching the phone hard. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with Agent Scully.”
“Mulder, is it possible that she is asleep and not in the mood to answer the phone in the middle of the night?” Skinner growls, annoyed.
“I’m at her house right now, sir. She’s not here. I think she left the Bureau hours ago, and she hasn’t answered any of my phone calls.” Mulder’s fingers tap out a frantic rhythm on his knee. He can’t stop hearing her say, Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to rule out what Cassandra Spender has to say. “Sir, I found evidence… evidence of the burn victims in Virginia having similar implants in their neck. The kind Agent Scully has. I have reason to believe that it’s a homing device. I have reason to believe…”
“I’m going to stop you right there, Agent Mulder,” Skinner says wearily. “Scully is an intelligent woman, and I have no reason to believe she’s going to the site of another mass burning.”
“Then where is she?” he grinds out through his teeth.
“I don’t know, but it’s too early to start panicking, Mulder.” His voice is more soothing now. “If neither of us have heard from her by tomorrow, then we can start looking. But for now? For now, you’ve got to stay calm. I’m sure she’s fine.”
Mulder hangs up, buzzing with frustration. He considers calling Scully’s mom to see if she’s there, but he doesn’t want to wake her up in the middle of the night just to worry her. Especially if Scully is fine. (She has to be, she has to be fine.) He wants to go out and look for her, but he has absolutely no idea where to start. He presses his hands over his eyes, groaning. He tries Scully’s cell phone one more time. No answer.
He kicks off his shoes, unlatches his watch and puts it on the coffee table, and curls up on Scully’s couch in his suit and socked feet. The blanket draped over the back of the couch smells like her; he doesn’t move it, but he leans his face against it, breathing it in. He misses her. He misses her, and he’s an idiot for thinking he could push her away in Dallas, after the night on the couch. He’s been an idiot a lot lately.
Mulder doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up to the sound of his cell phone ringing, face pressed into the side of Scully’s couch. He fumbles frantically for the phone and answers with a short, “Mulder,” resisting the urge to ask for Scully.
It’s Skinner, and his voice was grim. “Mulder, there’s been another mass burning.”
“No,” he says immediately. Refusing to accept it. The phone feels like a heavy, useless thing in his hand.
“At the Ruskin Dam in Pennsylvania,” Skinner says. “Someone saw the fire and called the police…”
“Was she there?” Mulder blurts, swinging his feet off the couch. He can’t feel the phone anymore, can only register Skinner’s voice. God, how many times is he going to have to watch her die? “Is she…” He can't finish that sentence.
“We don’t know, Mulder. There’s no evidence as to whether she is or isn’t. I’m on my way up there now.” The sounds in the background of Skinner’s voice vaguely resemble a car.
“I’m going there, too.” Mulder shoves his feet in his shoes, stumbling into a standing position and reaching for his gun. “I’m coming right now.”
Skinner seems to hesitate before saying, “I think that’s a good idea.”
Mulder hangs up, unable to say anything else. Unable to move past this enormous lump in his throat. The burning in his eyes and nose. Fire has been one of his major fears since childhood; he’s had countless nightmares about burning to death. They say it’s one of the most painful ways to go. God, and Scully, and Scully could be…
No. He leaves the apartment, locking the door behind him, and walks outside to his car in a trance. It’s fine, he tells himself, starting the car. Everything is fine. She is not going to die. She can’t be dead. She can’t be…
Three hours to Pennsylvania, and his brain goes into overdrive for all of them. Picturing Scully hurt. Trying not to picture Scully hurt, trying not to picture Scully dead…  He wants to throw up or cry out or hurt someone. When he gets to the Ruskin Dam, sometime around ten in the morning, he notices that the smell is just the same as Skyland Mountain. Bile rises in his throat. He wants to cry out to the heavens.
He jogs past the helicopter to the bridge, where they are carrying away the bodies. The body bags are the same bright yellow as Skyland Mountain. He slowly picks his way through the corpses, looking over them, sucking in his lips so he doesn’t scream her name. Some of the bodies are slightly identifiable, but some of them are black crisps, curled in on themselves. Anonymous. He is wondering how he will ever find her (if he will ever find her), when he sees it and then he’s trying to run but he can’t move fast enough. A woman. A woman with red hair and a swelled face, red and black burns, being zipped up in a body bag. His stomach drops out from beneath him, he can feel every heartbeat. He goes to her side and kneels beside her. Trying to discern, to see if it’s… it’s not her. He can only barely see it, but it’s not her. Only someone who looks like her. The paramedic zips up the body bag sharply.
“Agent Mulder!” Skinner’s voice cuts through his stupor like a knife. He can suddenly hear the chopper blades.
“Was she here?” he asks, desperate. “Is she here?”
“Yes, and the medics are all over her,” Skinner says. An affirmation.
“She’s alive,” he says, relief washing over him.
“They’re working on her now. Come on.”
He follows Skinner into a medical tent. “An SAR chopper pilot found her huddled in the woods this morning with about fifty other survivors,” Skinner is explaining. “She has minor burns, but her fluids and electrolytes were abnormally depleted.”
Mulder is barely listening. Any settling of his stomach when he heard that she was alive has disappeared now, seeing her like this: strapped to a stretcher with a respirator over her mouth. Angry red marks on her hands. “Scully?” he asks, leaning over her.
She says nothing, her eyes closed. “She's in vasogenic shock,” one of the paramedics says. Mulder reaches down to touch her hair, try and rouse her. “Unless you gents are doctors, you're in the way,” the paramedic tells them. “This woman needs to get to a hospital. On three—one ... two ... three…”  
They lift Scully’s stretcher and carry her outside. Mulder follows a few feet behind, jogging to keep up, and stops when he sees her being loaded onto a chopper. Skinner catches up to him, yelling, “What happened here, Agent Mulder?” over the roar of the helicopter.
“The answer just got loaded onto that chopper,” Mulder shouts back. Scully is the answer to everything, he’s sure of it now. They’ve made her the answer.
Jeffrey Spender is there, looking for his mother. It is likely that she was here, if Scully was, but Mulder has no idea how she could have gotten here. He doesn’t tell Jeffrey what he thinks: that it is likely his mother is dead, if they haven’t found her already.
Instead, he just leaves. He wants to be at the hospital when Scully wakes up.
---
Scully wakes slowly. First noises, then the sensation of scratchy sheets. Then the feeling of someone’s fingers swiping across her face, pushing her hair back. She turns her head, opens her eyes and sees Mulder. “Mmm, what time is it?” she asks.
Mulder chuckles. “‘What time is it?’ It’s time to thank your lucky stars.”
Confused, she starts to sit up in bed. “Why are you laughing?”
“I’m not laughing at you.” He reaches past her and presses a button. The bed begins to move below her, elevating her. “I’m just very happy to be standing here talking to you, that’s all.”
Her surroundings start to sink in, and she realizes: she’s in a hospital. The last thing she remembers is getting a drink at the water fountain. “Mulder, what am I doing here?” she asks, uncertain. Did she fall down at work or something?
“You were airlifted here in vasogenic shock,” he says, sitting beside her on the bed.
“From what?”
“You have some first-degree scorching on your hands and face.” He motions to her hands for reference.
Astonished, mouth hanging slightly open, she reaches up to touch her face and feels the tender skin. The burns. Shocked, she repeats, “From what?”
“You don’t remember?” he asks.
Breathing unsteadily, she says, “Mulder…” And then she sees the TV over his shoulder. Police cars, firefighters, the subtitles announcing it as a second cult suicide. It looks just like Skyland Mountain. The yellow body bags.
Mulder, who was looking at the TV, too, turns back to her and prods gently, “Is any of this coming back to you?”
“I was there?” she says in disbelief. Mulder sighs in a way that all but confirms it. “Well, doing what?”
“I was hoping you were gonna answer that question for me,” he says in a way that hints he’s a little disappointed.
She can only stare at him, confused and incredulous, until the door opens and a nurse enters. “You shouldn't be elevated, Miss Scully, not until we get your blood pressure back.” The nurse presses the button to lower the bed and tells Mulder, “She really needs her rest.”
Mulder, who once fought off security in an ICU and came to sit by her hospital bed right before a hearing that would decide whether or not he’d go to prison, nods. He nods and says, “I’ll come back,” before getting up and leaving.
She needs answer. She protests, “Well, Mulder…” as the bed lowers, but he doesn’t hear her. He gives her a lame little thumb’s up as he leaves. Scully lies back in defeat.
“What happened to me?” she asks the nurse, who is now checking her out.
“I’m not entirely sure.” The woman’s mouth purses in disapproval when she sees that the news is on; she reaches to turn it off. “I do know that you’re making a quick recovery, and you’ll likely be able to go home by the end of the day.”
That doesn’t tell me anything about why I’m here, Scully wants to say, but she doesn’t. She pulls the blanket up over her shoulder and turns on her side. The last thing she remembers saying out loud before waking up here is, Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to rule out what Cassandra Spender has to say. But he did, and maybe if he hadn’t, she wouldn’t be here.
It’s a snap-reaction, and one that she immediately regrets. Mulder would never do anything to put her in danger. (He told her he loved her in San Diego.) But here she is, lying in a hospital bed, and the last thing she can remember is him rejecting any theories she threw his way. He doesn’t know what happened to her, which means whatever happened the night before was something she did alone. And he left her. He left her here. The nurse told him to, but he didn’t even argue. He left her here with no answers.
Scully presses her face into the side of the pillow and closes her eyes. She wants to go home. She wants to cut out her chip and seal the wound with a Band-Aid. She wants to burn Their facilities down to the ground.
Mulder comes back about an hour later with pictures of the site. Sitting up in her bed, Scully flips through them with no recognition. “I don't know what to say,” she says. “I mean, I—I don't have the first clue. There's nothing here.”
Mulder, standing by the window with his arms crossed, offers, “Well, at least you're not alone. None of the other survivors have been able to give a cogent account, either.”
“Mulder, I have never been here,” she insists. “I couldn't tell you how to get here, let alone drive it.”
“Do you remember when you last saw Cassandra Spender?” he asks.
“She was there, too?”
He nods slightly. She sighs, in defeat. Maybe her fellow abductees are doomed. Maybe she’d be considered the lucky one.
“I ran more x-rays,” says Mulder. “I haven't told anybody yet what I found, though.”
“You found more implants?”
He nods again. “That would explain how you were directed to the site, and why you can't remember,” he says, sitting on the bed beside her and leaning closer. She looks away. “It would explain the sensation Cassandra Spender was describing, her abduction fantasies. It would explain Skyland Mountain.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t explain why they would want to kill me,” Scully says. “And it doesn’t explain why I survived.”
He bites his lip and looks away. “It all comes down to a question, Scully. One that hasn't been answered or I don't even think honestly addressed: who made that chip in your neck?” He looks her in the eyes now, deadly serious and sincere. But maybe not in a way she’d hoped. “That chip was found in a military research facility. Our government made that chip, implanted it in your neck as part of a secret military project to develop a biochemical weapon, to monitor your immunity, or to destroy you like a lab rat, if the truth were to be exposed.” His voice is growing harsh, but his words are harsher. Scully has to look away. “And your cancer... your cure... everything that's happening to you now - it all points to that chip. The truth I've been searching for? That truth is in you.”
She's speechless, any response she might’ve been able to come up with caught in her throat. There are angrier ways she wants to react, things she wants to say, but she manages to keep all of it in, holds his gaze with a steely stare, an uncomfortable silence transpiring. He stares back at her, as if expectantly. She looks away, down to her lap. She speaks to her knees, slowly. “Mulder, when I met you five years ago, you told me that your sister had been abducted… by aliens.” He looks away, half smiling in a deprecating way that makes her want to shout at him. “That that event had marked you so deeply, that nothing else mattered,” she continues in a firm voice instead. This is her goddamn line in the sand. “I didn't believe you, but I followed you, on nothing more than your faith that the truth was out there, based not on facts, not on science, but on your memories that your sister had been taken from you. Your memories were all that you had.”
“I don't trust those memories now,” he says, as if that makes it okay.
“Well, whether you trust them or not, they've led you here. And me. But I have no memories to either trust nor distrust, and if you ask me now to follow you again, to stand behind you in what you now believe, without knowing what happened to me out there, without those memories, I can't. I won't.” This is her ultimatum. She can't keep doing this. She needs to understand why, to feel secure in her place in all this. But without her memories, she can't.
Mulder actually looks hurt—just around the edges, a stranger wouldn't be able to tell. But he does, he looks like he thinks she is abandoning him again. As if refusing to run blindly into a situation that has almost killed her and multiple loved ones is the same as breaking off a relationship because you need space. He stands and walks over to the window, looking out of it and away from her. Scully leans back into the pillows, exhausted. Angry, maybe. Tired.
“If I could give you those memories,” he says suddenly, turning back to face her, as if pleading, “if I could prove that I was right and that what I believed for so long was wrong…”
He always has to fucking be right. This has nothing to do with proving he is right. Scully swallows, says, “Is that what you really want?”
He looks uncertain, his jaw working back and forth. Scully balls up the hem of the blanket in her fists. “I honestly can't tell what you want, Mulder.”
He runs a hand over his face, snaps, “I want to find out what happened to my sister.” He collapses in the chair next to her bed. “I want to know what they did to you.”
“So you still want to know the truth, but you won't bother to follow the facts?” Scully snaps right back. “Aliens or not, Mulder, I don't care! You know I don't believe in aliens. But you ignored Cassandra Spender’s story, every single sign that the mass burning on Skyland Mountain might’ve been related to what happened to me. Maybe if you'd believed Cassandra Spender, I wouldn't have ended up at the Ruskin Dam last night.” She motions pointedly to the spots of red along her face.
“That's not fair,” Mulder says, sounding sick.
“Oh, it's not? What about what you've just said? The truth is in me? What the hell does that mean? Do you want to take out my chip and study it? Because you know very well what will happen if you do.”
“Stop,” Mulder says.
She doesn't listen. Her anger is spilling over, every hurt feeling she's had in the past few days. “You say that the government gave me that chip, but you know damn well they didn't. You did. You stole it to replace the first one so I wouldn't die. If you hadn't taken it, if I had died… then I guess the truth, as you call it, would still be in the Pentagon.”
“Stop,” says Mulder, his voice full of pain. He looks like she has slapped him. Good, she thinks; that's how he has made her feel.
“I really don't know what you're going for, Mulder,” Scully hisses. “I can't tell what game you're playing."
“I'm just trying to find the truth,” he says, and his voice is grating. He's looking at the ground, chewing on his lower lip. “I'm just trying to find out who took my sister, the people or things who have done these terrible things to you. Who killed your daughter.” Scully intakes a sharp breath, and he immediately flinches. They haven't talked about Emily out loud since she died. He looks up at her gingerly, his eyes full of apology. “If I can give you these memories…” he says again.
Scully barks out a brief laugh sadly. She's not far off from full-on crying all over the place. She's not far off from screaming at him. “How are you going to do that?”
“Regression hypnosis.”
She's already shaking her head. “Mulder, no…”
“Scully, I know you don't believe in this stuff, but hear me out.” He grabs her hand earnestly. “He really has helped people. He's helped Cassandra Spender.”
Scully bites her lower lip. She doesn't know why she doesn't pull her hand away. “I don't know…”
“He's not a magician, Scully. He works in helping people retrieve their lost memories. And I do think that he can help you.”
She sighs, nods. She'd do anything to get rid of this knot in her stomach, this blank space in her mind. “I'll do it,” she says quietly.
The corner of the left side of his mouth turns up, and he squeezes her hand gently, avoiding the burns. “I can set it up for this afternoon, if you want,” he offers, rubbing his thumb across the top. “After you're discharged.”
“Sure.”
“Okay.” He stands, a little eagerly, lets go of her hand. “I'll go give him a call. I think they said you could leave soon.” He leaves her room, the door practically slamming behind him.
Scully eases back into the pillows, her mind racing. Her heart pounding from head to toe. She wants to hate him for bringing up Emily, for the way he's been treating her. But. He says he is doing these things for her. She is furious, but she can't hate him. He is Mulder and she can't hate him.
---
She sees fire and faceless men and lights in the sky. Cassandra being carried up into the sky by a white beam of light, like an angel. She sees the snow falling backwards. Cassandra is gone. She really couldn't save her.
It all faded away when she wakes up. The visions were like a hot knife behind her skull, and she can feel it receding as she opens her eyes. She can't remember.
She's surprised, and maybe even embarrassed, to see Mulder sitting beside her on the couch. She thinks he was holding her hand. He gets up and walks out.
She tries to get up and sways dangerously in place. Dr. Werber reaches out to steady her. “I'm fine,” she says, shaking him off and thundering after Mulder. He's halfway down the hall, pulling out his cell phone. “What are you doing?” she protests, reaching his side. “Mulder…”
“I'm going to call Skinner,” he says, dialing.
“Why?” She grabs his arm, pulling the phone away from his ear.
“He needs to hear this,” says Mulder gently. “It's the only account we have of what happened last night.”
She bites her lip and lowers her arm. She hadn't thought of that beforehand, and she's not entirely sure she wants him to hear this. “I listen to it first,” she says, like a compromise with herself. “Before we ever show it to Skinner.”
He nods, lowering the phone. She exhales heavily, brushing hair back from her face, and turns to retrieve her things from Werber’s office.
“Scully?” She turns back to see Mulder watching her, cautiously. “Was that what you wanted?”
She sighs again, putting a hand over her face. “I don't know, Mulder,” she says quietly. “I don't know.”
On the way back to the Bureau, Scully listens to the tape again. She can't remember any of the things she is saying; it's all vanished from her head since her session, dissipated like smoke. But fear bubbles up in her throat at some of the worse-sounding parts. Mulder doesn't say anything outside of flinching a few times when her voice grows more desperate.
Mulder offers to take Scully home to rest before he gives Skinner the tape. She shakes her head, jaw clenched. She goes down to the basement while Skinner takes it upstairs and naps in Mulder's chair (the comfortable one) until he shakes her awake hours later. “Skinner's finished reviewing the tape,” he says, almost shortly. She nods and stands up.
Skinner, too, seems to think Mulder has his head up his ass. He claims alien abduction is the more likely explanation compared to Mulder's claims of a military aircraft. “Then I suggest you put that in your report,” Mulder snaps, and storms out. He is gone by the time Scully exits Skinner's office. He is gone from the parking garage without explanation, and she is tired of doing this. She is so tired. She wants this to be over. She wants her memories and her sister and her daughter back.
Scully goes down to the X-Files office, to get her things and leave, and finds Jeffrey Spender waiting for her. He shows her a video of his hypnotic regression sessions from his childhood, tells her his mother fed him the stories until he believed them and Dr. Werber egged him on. His story feels familiar, but Scully pushes the feeling down, ignores it. “I appreciate your opinion, Agent Spender, but I don't have a mother feeding me abduction stories,” she tells him.
“You've got Agent Mulder, don't you? How many times have you heard the stories he's told? How about the one about his own sister?” Jeffrey Spender takes the tape out, tells her seriously, “Don't let yourself be used.”
---
When Scully leaves the Bureau, Jeffrey Spender’s words are turning over and over in her head. She doesn't want them to be, but they are. Don't let yourself be used, he said. She never would've thought that Mulder was using her, but now… after the scene in the hospital, the way he ran out on her multiple times…
Scully smacks the steering wheel with her hand, glaring ahead at the road. Mulder is not using her, he can't be. He said he's doing this for her. (He said he loved her in San Diego.) But the things he said in the hospital… he said the truth is in her. What can that mean outside of…
No. Mulder may be self-centered and hyperfocused and occasionally an asshole, but he is not using her. Or if he is, he cares about her an awful lot. More than anyone should care about a tool. He may have been distant and awkward in the hospital, and he may have pushed her away when he thought her dead at the warehouse in Falls Church, but before. Before that, he faked his death to go undercover and look for a cure for her. His entire face had lit up when she told him she was in remission, gathering her up in his arms and squeezing her so tightly that she couldn't catch her breath. He hadn't believed she was dead when they abducted her; he fought for her and fought hard. He held her after Pfaster and Schnauz and the Dudley cannibals; he comforted her after Emily. He can't not care.
He has a habit of this, she reminds herself. As her cancer drew to a close, he'd become selfish and self-destructive; he ran after his sister, almost shot her in his summer vacation home. He didn't come to his senses until it became clear she was dying, really dying, and quickly. He has a habit of acting out with grief. And this time the grief would be… their ruined relationship? Devastation at everything he's ever believed being alternately proved and disproved?
When Scully gets home, she doesn't go inside like she likely should. Instead, she takes a walk. A long walk that leaves her fingers numb with brisk March air. And by the end of it, she's come to two conclusions: that their shared quest cannot continue in this matter, and that maybe the things she thought were true are not—which will have to be proven, whether she's right or Mulder's right or neither of them are right. But either way, she needs to talk to Mulder. She climbs back into her car and drives to Alexandria.
She finds him sitting in the dark after he tells her to come in. “Mulder?” she calls out and he grunts out an answer. “What are you doing sitting here in the dark?” she asks.
“Thinking,” he says.
Thinking. How original. “Thinking about what?”
“Oh, the usual. Destiny, fate, how to throw a curve ball. The inextricable relationships in our lives that are neither accidental nor somehow in our control, either.”
She wonders if he means theirs. She wonders if he is talking about something else entirely. “Well,” she says, “I've just taken a long walk and I've reconsidered that I may have been wrong about what I believed happened to me.”
“I've been doing some reconsidering of my own,” he says, standing up and passing her a piece of paper that reads, Things are looking up. Upon flipping it over, she sees what is written on the back: Wiekamp Air Force Base.
“What is this?” she asks.
“Maybe an answer... to a question you and I seem to have been destined to ask,” says Mulder. He walks past her, on his way out of the apartment. He seems to be making a habit of that.
Irritation rising, Scully follows him. “Where are you going?” she calls, slamming his door behind her.
“Wiekamp Air Force Base,” he says over his shoulder, like it should be obvious.
She catches up to him, heels clacking on the tile, and grabs his sleeve. “No,” she says firmly.
Confusion flickers over his face as he looks back at her. “No?”
“You don't get to keep doing this, Mulder.” She motions wildly with her hand. “You don't get to keep running out on me, and keep treating me like a stepping stone on your way to the truth. Why are you going to Wiekamp Air Force Base, Mulder? Who did that piece of paper come from?”
He gulps, nervously, says, “Krycek.”
“Krycek?” Her grip on his sleeve tightens. “What did he… why did he…”
“The purpose of his visit seemed to be shoving a gun in my face and warning me about the likelihood of alien colonization,” Mulder says tensely.
Scully lets go of his sleeve in a fluid motion; alien mumbo-jumbo is the last thing she thought she'd hear tonight. “What?”
“Apparently an alien rebellion was staging these burnings at abduction lighthouses to stop the plans for colonization,” says Mulder grimly. “And one of them is being held hostage at Wiekamp Air Force Base. A rebel that I need to go save, or colonization will continue and we will all die.”
Scully blinks, genuinely stunned. “Mulder, that's insane.”
“Exactly,” he says bitterly. “Want to come along?”
“You don't really believe that bullshit, do you?” she asks incredulously. “Mulder, this has all the warning signs of being a trap. Of being part of this insane game.”
“I thought you believed Cassandra Spender’s story,” Mulder says pointedly. “This isn't that far off.”
“I thought there were parts of Cassandra’s story that it was unwise to ignore.” Scully crosses her arms. “As I think the event at the Ruskin Dam proves. But I didn't believe all aspects of her story. And like I said, Mulder, I've reconsidered. I don't know how much substance my original theories had…”
“So as usual, we're on the opposite pages?” Mulder crosses his arms, too. “Whatever you think, Scully, I need to follow this lead. And I'll understand if you want to go home—God knows you could use your rest—but I'd like it if you were there with me. So whatever we find, we can find it together.”
She must be insane. She pinches the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, and mutters, “Fine. Let's go.”
Mulder looks legitimately surprised but he nods, pulling out his keys as they walk towards the elevator.
He doesn't speak again until they get into the car, until they're barreling down the highway. “What you said, about… me treating you like a stepping stone…” he starts tentatively.
Scully sighs, pressing her fingers to her temple. “Don't tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about,” she mutters.
“This is about what I said I'm the hospital, isn't it,” he says in a hushed voice, staring hard out the front window. Scully fidgets in her seat, pulling at the seatbelt. “Scully, you know… you know when I said the truth was in you, that I didn't mean the truth was the only thing I need you for.” She says nothing. His voice faltering, he continues, “I need you for so much more than that… you know…”
“No, I don't know,” she says. She'd thought her words would be rough and harsh, in her head, but she has no strength to fight with Mulder anymore. She hates fighting with Mulder. Her words come out sounding like she's just been punched in the gut. “If I based it off of your recent behavior, I don't know that you don't want me for anything more than my status as an abductee.”
His voice extraordinarily soft, he asks, “Is this about what happened in Dallas? Me saying that…”  
“No.” Face red, Scully yanks at her seatbelt angrily. “It has nothing to do with that, that is a completely different… I understand why you did what you did in Dallas. This is about you ignoring me on this case unless I was in some kind of danger.” She sneaks a look at him and finds that he is still staring out the windshield, face white and jaw clenched. But he lets her continue. She says, “This is about you just running out on me at the hospital and at Dr. Werber’s office and at Skyland Mountain and in Skinner's office… you know how I feel about the ditching, Mulder, but this was different. It feels like this quest of yours was more important than giving me an explanation, or listening to what I thought. You've ignored what Cassandra Spender has said to the point of ridiculousness, when her stories have substance you should recognize based on what's happened to me, but you want to chase after a half-assed lead that Krycek gave to you while holding you at gunpoint? It doesn't make any sense, Mulder. I'm your partner, and I have been left in the dust on this case. You have contributed everything.”
“I should've believed Cassandra,” Mulder says, his voice as rough as gravel. “You're right. I should've. Scully, when I realized you were gone, when I heard about the Ruskin Dam… I thought you were dead…”
“I know that must've been hard for you,” Scully says softly. “And I know you tried to find me. Skinner told me. I'm grateful for that.”
“But you really… you really think I'm using you? That I don't care about you?” He sounds horrified. Legitimately horrified, as if her thinking he doesn't care is the worst thing he can imagine. “Scully…”
“I don't think that,” she says, looking down at her knees. “Not really. I just… I want you to realize how you're treating me. And I guess I want to understand. Mulder, everything you've done on this case is so unlike you… not believing Cassandra Spender… not making the connection at Skyland Mountain… not seeing the facts in the testimony I gave Werber…”
“I did all those things because…” He intakes a sharp breath. “I want justice for you and for Emily and for our sisters and everyone else who have suffered because of them,” he says softly. “I want to bring those bastards down. I want them to pay for everything they've done.And I thought… I thought whatever means I could use to get there the fastest was worth it. I didn't want to get distracted by… by things that didn't matter, I wanted to do whatever it took…  I thought if I could ignore the clear facades, if I could break down these barriers and find a clear path to them…”
Scully takes a shaky breath. “I understand your dedication to your goal, Mulder, and I appreciate it,” she says. “You know I share the same goal.” Her throat is stinging with unshed tears. “But you can't… you can't ignore facts right in front of your face to the point of close mindedness. You can't ignore me. You can't… you can't treat me like some tool on this massive quest of yours. Because if you do… than I can't do this with you.”
There's a tickling sensation along her hand as Mulder's fingers brush across the top. He reaches across the console and takes it, and she lets him. “Scully?”
“Yes?” she says softly, turning to look at him.
“I'm sorry.” And he does look sorry. Sincerely sorry. "I'm sorry about… a lot of things.”
She won't tell him okay. But she holds his eye contact, says, “I know.”
He smiles, just a little. A tiny bit. “I won't leave you out,” he says, still looking at the windshield. But she can read the sincerity on his face. “Or put you in danger… I never meant to… I got distracted. But I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“I know,” she says again, and squeezes his hand before letting it go. She's not sure where she stands on all of this. On her relationship with Mulder—in terms of partnership or romantically—or in the goddamn conspiracy. But at least they've cleared some air between them. At least they've reached a stalemate of sorts. At least she knows he still cares.
---
They don't talk much on the way to the base. Mulder is forming a plan in his head. When they get there, it is the same song and dance he's used to: he bluffs to the guarding officer to the point at which the kid goes to check on some made-up problem. “Buckle up, Scully,” he says.
“Mulder, he's armed and well within his jurisdiction,” Scully says.
They're watching a truck exit the gate. As it draws closer, Scully says, “I know this man.”
“Who?”
“That driver. I know his face.”
Mulder watches the truck as the officer looks over at them. “Scully,” he says quietly. “I'm going to go after the truck. You stay here.”
“What?”
The officer looks away. “I swear this isn't a ditch,” Mulder says, before making a break for it.
He makes it into the truck, and then everything else grows fuzzy. He thinks there is a light. He wakes up in the truck, being arrested, with no memory of what just happened. His throat is raw from screaming.
They take him back to the car and shove him inside. He steadies himself in the seat, eyes and nose burning. He was so close, so fucking close, and now they're back to square one. Both left with nothing.
“What happened?” Scully asks gently. More gently than he deserves, probably.
“I don't know,” he says, covering his face. He understands why Scully insisted on retrieving her memories after Ruskin; this blank space in his mind is the most frustrating thing in the world. His eyes burn, and Scully is pulling his hand away from his face, squeezing it in hers. He looks at her and she looks at him in the dim light of the car, and god, he can't believe he ever made her think he didn't need her. He needs her like air. He wouldn't make it anywhere, through anything, without her.
“It's okay,” Scully whispers, squeezing his hand in both of hers. “It's okay.” He nods, leaning his head against the cool window pane. Scully rubs her fingers over his knuckles, her hands warm around his, and they just sit there for a minute. Up until a military officer shows up and taps on the window, glaring at the both of them.
Scully squeezes his hand again before leaning back in her seat. “Let's get out of here,” she says softly, and how is he only just now noticing the circles under her eyes? She looks exhausted. “Before they change their mind about arresting us.”
“Fine by me,” he mumbles, putting the car into reverse and backing out.
They drive home in silence, but not a tension-filled one, for the first time in ages. It's a companionable one.
---
Mulder drops her off at home close to midnight, and Scully is genuinely close to falling asleep in the elevator. She craves her bed, her sheets and soft mattress, like a smoker craves a cigarette. She wants to sleep for a year.
When she exhaustedly stumbles into her apartment, she misjudges her amount of space and bangs her knee into the coffee table. Swearing, she collapses on her couch, rubbing her eyes. And that's when she sees it: a watch on her coffee table. Mulder's watch, she immediately recognizes. But she has no idea what it's doing here. She can't even remember the last time he came to her apartment.
She calls him out of a sense of curiosity. “Mulder, is that your watch on my coffee table?” she asks when he answers.
“Oh, yeah,” he says, bemused. “I forgot about that.”
“You forgot about your watch?” She raises her eyebrows even though he can't see her. “When were you here to take it off?”
“I, uh… I came over there looking for you last night.” He sounds amazed, like he can't believe what's happened in under 24 hours. “I couldn't find you, so I decided to, um, wait… I might have fallen asleep on your couch. When Skinner called to tell me about the Ruskin Dam, I guess I just forgot to grab it.”
A lump rises in her throat, and she couldn't tell a single person why. “You stayed here all night waiting for me?” she says, like she can't believe it.
“Well, not really all night, just a few hours… Scully? Are you okay?”
She smiles a little, running a finger over the face of the watch. “I'm fine,” she says, wiping her eyes. “Just tired. Thank you, Mulder. I'll bring the watch to work tomorrow.”
She goes to bed with some unexplainable happiness building in her chest. Some sentimental feeling that makes her want to wrap her arms around him and never let go.
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labradoritedreams · 7 years
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Hi lovely! I’m planning a trip to New Orleans and I know you spent some time there. Anything you’d particularly recommend doing? We like similar things, so I figured you’d have good ideas 💜
Oh gosh darlin’, I’m jelly - NOLA is one of my favorite places in the world and there are tons of cool thing to do!  When are you going?  Not sure if you’ve been there before?  For the purposes of this reply, I’m assuming not, so forgive me if I’m wrong and I tell you stuff you already know.  
First of all, the vibe in New Orleans is different than any other place I’ve ever been; it’s definitely a city of magick.  I assume you will be staying in the French Quarter?  I would recommend that if this is your first trip.  Some hotels in the Quarter can be weird/sketchy, so if you need recommendations for a place to stay, let me know.
General warnings:  The French Quarter is pretty safe as a rule, but if you’re just walking around, be mindful of where you are. There are areas just outside that are super sketchy.  Canal Street (the trolleys run there) is fine, but if you find yourself on Esplanade or especially Rampart Street, turn around and go back because you are heading into questionable territory.  And the later it gets after dark, I tend to stick pretty close to the area between Bourbon Street and the River, and after 10 or so I generally don’t go further north on Bourbon than Ursellines (and it goes without saying that someone unfamiliar with the area should not be wandering the French Quarter alone, especially at night.  And super especially if they are drinking, which almost everyone is).
Purse snatchers and pick pockets abound, so always be mindful of your purse if you carry one; keep it zipped/closed up tight. Anyone who carries a wallet should put it in a front pants pocket, not the back.  The Quarter has lots of street performers so be especially careful in crowds.  In general:  Stay aware, use your head, employ the usual safety rules and you should be fine.
Okay now that the boring part is out of the way, here’s some fun stuff to do:  
Of course, ya gotta walk Bourbon Street from Canal to Ursullines after dark.  It’s 11 blocks of decadence that should not be missed.
A nighttime “haunted” walking tour is an absolute must.  Haunted History does the best ones, they have several different themed tours (ghosts, vampires, voodoo, etc., or combinations of tours). They are pretty hokey and EXTREMELY touristy, but soooo much fun it’s worth it.
A mule-drawn carriage tour in the evening is great, especially if you’ve been walking all day.  The carriages line up on Decatur Street in front of St. Louis Cathedral, and you can get either an hour or a half-hour tour.  I suggest the hour tour, since it takes you a bit outside the quarter to Frenchman’s Street and the Faubourg Marigny.
Speaking of St. Louis Cathedral, you should definitely tour it.  It’s worth seeing, even if you’re a pagan like me!
Taking a riverboat cruise on the Mississippi is another relaxing way to spend a couple of hours.  They usually offer a meal option, but in my experience you’d do better to save your money.  There are too many incredible places to eat in NOLA to waste your money on crappy food (and if you need recommendations for restaurants, let me know.)
The Aquarium of the America’s is right there on the river and good fun if you like that kind of thing (I do.)
Shopping in the quarter is incredible, and one of my favorite things about the Quarter.  There are all manner of funky shops and galleries, and I think I enjoy just talking with clerks and shop owners as much as the actual stuff I buy.  I’m not sure where you’re from, but as a general rule Southerners are quite chatty, even more so in New Orleans. Some of my favorite places:  *  You should definitely hit the French Market on the weekend when it’s in full swing.  Go there for souvenirs, rather than the Bourbon Street tourist shops - it’s basically the same stuff and you’ll save a lot of money;  *  Fifi Mahoney’s is so much fun if you’re into makeup and wigs and all that implies.  You can also make an appointment to get your hair done or a makeover there as well;  *For crystals go to the French Quarter Gem & Lapidary Shop.  They are just the best.  They have a wide range of gem and mineral items that range from extremely reasonably priced crystals to some pretty pricey but amazing jewelry.  And even if you don’t buy anything, the staff are all great to talk to; *  Hex , Erzulies and Esoterica are witchcraft supply stores I recommend.  
There are a couple of voodoo museums in the quarter;  I’ve been to the New Orleans Historic Voodoo Museum which is a storefront with the museum in the back.  It was established by a high ranking voodoo priest and is said to be the real deal; they also offer walking tours, which I did and I enjoyed the experience very much.  There is also Voodoo Authentica of New Orleans Cultural Center & Collection, which I haven’t visited yet - every time I’ve passed it with some time in my hands it appears closed - so I don’t know much about.  (I’m not a voodoo practitioner.)
And I absolutely recommend visiting Boutique du Vampyre - it’s a tiny little shop chock full of all kinds if vampire-themed items, and its’ awesome owner - Marita Crandle - also has a YouTube channel where she talks about what’s going on with the store, and witchy/vampiric happenings in the city.
And of course, you should go to Café Du Monde for café au lait and beignets.  Even if you don’t especially like chicory blended coffee and fried powdered donuts, it’s a NOLA institution.  Plus it’s right across Decatur Street from Jackson Square, so it’s a good place for people-watching.
If you want to venture out of the quarter - or even the city - Cajun Encounters offers excellent swamp and plantation tours.  I’ve done a couple of swamp tours, and the best are the night tours, but that may be a bit cold this time of year.  
But this WOULD be a good time of year to do a night trip to the Myrtles Plantation, which is said to be among the most haunted properties in the nation.  I haven’t yet made it out there myself (I think it’s a couple of hours to get out there via tour transport) but I plan to!
So that’s just a few things you can consider for your trip - sorry, I didn’t mean to write a book!   Let me know if you have any other question (I’ll try to keep it shorter next time!)  
Have a GREAT time on your trip and be safe!  Love you sweetheart!  
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francescabongini20 · 5 years
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burial fees abolished for stillborn babies and children
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investmart007 · 6 years
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Retire to Europe on $35,000 a Year in These 5 Places—Internationalliving.com
New Post has been published on https://is.gd/Vm4tU5
Retire to Europe on $35,000 a Year in These 5 Places—Internationalliving.com
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BALTIMORE/ July 31, 2018 (STL.News) It’s not hard to retire to Europe on $35,000 a year, or less. In welcoming, warm-weather, good-value escapes expat retirees find that their dollars stretch far. “When Americans on a limited budget compare the quality of life they’re able to enjoy in Europe to what their dollars buy in the States, it’s often a shock,” says Jennifer Stevens, Executive Editor, International Living. “Outside the big metro areas, you’ll find all sorts of good-value options in Italy, Spain, France, Portugal, and even Malta. These are communities where the weather is good so it’s easy to enjoy the outdoors, and where value is placed on good food, enjoying the arts, and on a relaxed pace of life—none of which costs very much.” Basilicata, Italy The Italians know how to enjoy life. In fact, they’re famous for it. The gorgeous scenery, the stellar food, the fabulous people and the fascinating history sum up the joys of Italian life— La dolce vita. Italy is full of classic postcard landscapes that appeal to all the senses. Living in Italy can be as expensive or as low-cost as you want it to be—it all depends on location and lifestyle. The big cities like Rome, Milan, and Florence can be expensive. But get outside the metro areas and prices drop significantly. Take Basilicata, a hidden gem tucked into the ankle of “the boot,” speckled with verdant valleys, deep forests, rolling hills, and alpine peaks. It offers a laidback, enjoyable lifestyle that can be affordable, where you’ll be welcomed and well-fed. “The boot” garners top honors in cuisine; prosciutto, parmigiano, pizza, porcini, and pasta…they’re famous because they’re so delizioso. Life here, as with so much of Italy, is relaxed, and there is a history of hospitality that will make you feel at home and help you adapt. A monthly budget for a couple in Basilicata comes to $1,600. Alicante, Spain Alicante is a port city on Spain’s south-eastern Costa Blanca. Home to about 330,000 people, it offers an unbeatable combination of comfortable city living and relaxed country friendliness. Alicante has two distinct rhythms. In the summer, the city transforms into a tourist’s playground where gelato shops spring up on almost every street, vendors walk the beaches selling ice-cold cans of beer, and a myriad of languages bubbles through the streets. Things slow down as the weather grows colder and the tourists head home. Yet winter is entirely pleasant as the temperature rarely drops below 50 F. Most days, the sky remains a crystal clear blue and the wide beaches become yours alone to wander and explore. With an international airport and train station offering high-speed connections to Madrid and beyond, Alicante is a great hub from which to experience Europe. And living here is affordable. A couple can live well in Alicante on $2,390 per month. Porto, Portugal Many European cities have been sought out by expats from the U.S. and Canada in recent years. But what Porto offers is an enchanting combination of Old World charm and First-World convenience wrapped in a consummately affordable and attractive package. The second-largest metropolitan area in Portugal after Lisbon, Porto is located on the Douro River, where it flows into the Atlantic. The city center is home to less than 240,000 people and has a small city’s feel and friendliness. But it’s also a thriving business city with an international airport. For all Porto’s natural and architectural beauty, fine food and wine, and pleasurable pastimes, it’s surprisingly affordable to live here—a monthly budget for a couple runs to $1,550. A cup of coffee in a café is a dollar or less, fresh fruit goes for $1 per pound, and a three-course lunch for two including wine at a mid-range restaurant will cost you just $20. And senior discounts are offered in many museums and other sites of interest. Aix-en-Provence, France Provence inspires retirement dreams with its rolling fields of lavender, sunbaked stone medieval villages tinged with the scent of orange blossoms, lines of stately cypress trees, and daily blue skies—it exudes the essence of beautiful living. Provence is a sweeping area at the center of the Alps-Provence-Cote d’Azur region of south-eastern France, bordering Italy and the glittering waters of the Mediterranean Sea. France’s second largest city, Marseille, is its capital, but visitors tend to gravitate to popular smaller towns, such as Aix-en-Provence—a wildly romantic little city of fountains and medieval streets that was once the Provençal capital. Most visitors are drawn to experience sophisticated pleasures like the opera, ballet, art galleries, and high-class restaurants. But, with a population of 142,000, Aix doesn’t concentrate solely on highbrow culture; it’s also a lively university city. Here, a couple can enjoy a great retirement on $2,695 per month. Valletta, Malta From countryside farmhouses to ancient walled cities and breath-taking coastal pathways to quirky, hidden-gem restaurants, the tiny island nation of Malta has a little something for everyone. At only 122 square miles, making it one of the smallest nations in the European Union, Malta packs a real punch—it’s home to a number of UNESCO World Heritage Sites and over 155 miles of coastline. And, thanks to its far southern location, the islands benefit from warm weather year-round. Here, the English-speaking population—a legacy of British colonization—makes it easy for North Americans to adjust to life. Malta has been a coveted destination for centuries and Valletta, Malta’s capital city, is an especially desirable location—the European Capital of Culture 2018. With rolling hills reminiscent of San Francisco, Valletta offers incredible views of ships entering and leaving its harbors. Built after The Great Siege of 1565, when the Ottoman Empire tried to capture Malta from the Knights of Saint John, Valetta was chiseled by the knights out of a barren rocky peninsula and lined with steep walls and imposing towers. Dollars can go surprisingly far here, with couples living comfortably on $2,600 per month. The full report can be found here: 5 Places in Europe Where You Can Retire on $35,000 a Year Editor’s Note: Members of the media have permission to republish the article linked above once credit is given to Internationalliving.com Further information, as well as interviews with expert authors for radio, TV or print, is available on request. Photos are also available. For information about InternationalLiving.com content republishing, source material or to book an interview with one of our experts, contact PR Managing Editor, Marita Kelly, +001 667 312 3532, [email protected] Twitter: @inliving Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/International.Living/ About International Living Since 1979, Internationaliving.com has been the leading authority for anyone looking for global retirement or relocation opportunities. Through its monthly magazine and related e-letters, extensive website, podcasts, online bookstore, and events held around the world, InternationalLiving.com provides information and services to help its readers live better, travel farther, have more fun, save more money, and find better business opportunities when they expand their world beyond their own shores. InternationalLiving.com has more than 200 correspondents traveling the globe, investigating the best opportunities for travel, retirement, real estate, and investment.
_____ SOURCE: https://www.prweb.com/releases/retire_to_europe_on_35_000_a_year_in_these_5_places_internationalliving_com/prweb15662019.htm
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13 – And it was called “Blellow”
Monday
What’s our workload like on this lovely 13th week of the semester? Calm before the storm? 
Ha! More like eye of the storm! Thesis proposal drafts were sent in today! Fortunately, we have a hope that anchors us and gets us through it: we have each other. 
As most days do, our Monday started off with a continuation of group texts from Sunday, supporting each other through our phones. 
Hanna and I met and worked at her apartment on our own projects. Sharing coffee, tea, fair-trade chocolate and baguette as the rain poured down, we took comfort in sharing with each other as we moved through our work.
While theses loom and take a lot of our time and energy, we couldn’t forget about our big Design Thinking project. This What Art Can Do event that we’re holding on December 14th has been a roller-coaster of a group endeavor, and a great learning experience to boot. Facebook and Eventbrite events were created today, an open call was sent out to students, and we continue communicating with artists and performers to make this a truly stellar evening.
Monday night after French was my first time visiting the Sport Social Business Lab at INCO, where the social entrepreneurs I’m working with for my SocEnt project are being incubated for the development of their social business. The evening was spent checking-in on individual progress and going over the social business model canvas for Kabubu and REF’s partnership, which we would present at their “hold-up” on Wednesday evening (more on that later). Just a little note, I love these opportunities that this program is providing for us to venture into other worlds, like this one at the Sport Social Business Lab. It’s an awesome space and I completely vibed with it (I’m sure that statement sounds weird, but that’s the best way that I can think to describe it). I can feel that the work going on there is good, if that makes any sense, and a feeling of excitement reigns when I’m there. Pretty special feeling.
Tonight was a bit bitter-sweet personally. My dear old friend from undergrad has been staying with me for the past week as he visits Paris, and tonight was his last evening. While I felt particularly aware of my inadequacy as a host (I spent the whole time he was here working on school stuff), it was such a blessing to have someone here who knows me well, who heard the word “thesis” more than any human should have to when on vacation, who dealt with me neurotically typing away at night, and who was willing to intersperse his time visiting tourist attractions with sitting in cafes and pubs with me while I worked on schoolwork and he read or worked on his creative writing. After my meeting with Kabubu, I rode through the rain and met him at a pub, where he read and I worked on prepping for tomorrow’s leadership development class. Definitely going to miss having a brother (and cafe-work buddy) around all the time!
Tuesday
Our Leadership Development class at MakeSense had an interesting start today. The SenseSpace was abuzz with the visit of former French president Francois Hollande. Once we’d gotten a few glances in (as he made hand-shakes and pleasantries with SenseSpacers), we moved into one of the quiet workrooms. After going over the previous week’s community program content, we hopped on a Skype call with Mana, a friend of Sabine’s and a PhD student in Design Thinking from the HP Institute in Potsdam (in partnership with Stanford University). 
Speaking of ‘thinking’, this conversation encouraged us to do so critically. Mana’s work explores how the experts and program designers of DT adapting to their specific contexts. Our conversation delved into so many elements of DT: exclusivity; flaws in teaching (we do it so fast-paced, making us miss opportunities to learn more about the context of problems we’re trying to solve);  the ‘language of DT’ and the ‘designerly’ way of thinking and working; the way culture implicates ability to be “disruptive”; and the possibilities that DT offers.
After our session, Hanna and I stayed at the SenseSpace and made lunch for a meeting with one of the artists who will be speaking at our What Art Can Do event. Lina JK-Rose, a painter from Syria, had so much to share with us about art as an agent for change. If you are looking to be inspired by what art can do, make sure you plug the event into your calendar for the 14th of December from 6-9pm!
Speaking of this event (again), it continues playing a MAJOR role in our week and featuring big time in our What’s App and Slack conversations. 
During the week, our amazing design manager, Alistair, finished the invitations created for PCA students and faculty, with the help of Hanna, Smarti, Vaila and Khadija personalizing the invites. 
Our DT class this afternoon was spent hanging the invitations (it was amazing to see and hear students immediately respond to the invitations we posted in the gallery - first reactions were positive!), checking in about the event, and moving forward with outreach. Smarti, Rica and I joined forces for staying on top of the speakers.  As the week has progressed, so too has our speaker list and our outreach to students who might be interested in submitting a piece to the exhibition we’re curating for the event. 
Wednesday
I began my day with breakfast distribution for refugees at Port de La Chapelle and then proceeded with meeting the crew at Draft Lab. We all made progress with our individual 3D printing, laser cutting, and CNC milling projects. Smarti, super committed to seeing a plastic-free world (and inspiring the rest of us along the way), ordered biodegradable 3D printing filament to forgo printing in plastic. Pretty awesome, yeah? She is working on a box to coincide with her thesis project.
We also wanted to say thank you to our dear Smarti, because she and her partner Carlos hosted us for a beautiful vegan Thanksgiving last week. Smarti brings smoothies from home everyday, and we lovingly call them her “blellows” (because they’re kind of a mix of blue and yellow). We made a little ‘thank you’ card and placed it where? Of course, right beside her blellow.
I made some progress with the design of a whistle in Rhino. It was a crazy-frustrating experience, yet again, with trying to figure out what seems to be so simple in this software! But all of the complications were pushed through with the help of others in the class (thank you, Leore!). Sitting around the table and commiserating about the difficulties of these softwares and machines with others was oddly comforting, and encouraged me to keep going!
After this, we made our way back to PCA and were delighted to find this little thank you note on the What Art Can Do invitation wall:
It affirmed for us that we are already making a positive impact with this event. It’s convicting to see that an act of acknowledgment for another human can inspire people to share the love and communicate thanks in return.
After French, it was time for me to dart to MakeSense to facilitate a hold-up for the social entrepreneurs I’m working with (their partnership for a sports integration project coincides with my thesis, so I was both excited and super-curious about how the event would proceed tonight)! Fortunately, all of the attendees were such positive contributors and lent ideas that encouraged us to move forward with a business plan, while allowing us to consider some new concepts that could prove really valuable to incorporate as we move forward. I was especially grateful for Smarti and Vaila, who came to participate in the hold-up, lent their creative minds, and helped with set-up and clean-up (Shout Out to you both!)
Thursday
While we didn’t have a scheduled class, we sure had our work cut-out for us today. Both exciting and over-whelming, a lot of the afternoon was spent with all of us deep in WhatsApp, moving forward with details for our event, coordinating the emailing back-and-forth with artists, continuing our open-call outreach, taking stock of the onslaught of Eventbrite notifications (tons of people are coming to our event, according to Eventbrite!) and working a bit on our leadership development project. I also commenced with the follow-up documentation for my Hold-Up, worked a bit on a project for my team at Kids in the Game in New York, and communicated with my SocEnt team to set an agenda for our meeting tomorrow.
Friday
Today was, in many ways, a repeat of yesterday, with heavy work on our DT event, thesis work, hold-up review for me, as well as research, blog writing and event brainstorming for the company I work with back in New York. I spent the afternoon and evening working at MakeSense, where I had a check-in with Sabine and with Yasin, after which I prepared for a meeting I would have tonight with some of the Kabubu team (SocEnts I’m working with). A bit silly, but while I work at the front desk of PCA on Friday nights, they came and met with me there from 7-8:30, where we spent time reviewing the hold-up and working on finding a space to implement the prototype we’re moving forward with to gain insights for a tentative social business model.
Our whole crew stayed connected as always through our WhatsApp group. We got some confirmations for our event, which was super exciting for us. It’s encouraging to know that we’ll have a full line-up of incredible speakers. We also received more confirmations from students about their intention to submit projects for the exhibition. I’m really prayerful that we’ll have a nice array of projects for this exhibition on the 14th.
Saturday
Hanna set out for MakeSense to check out the SenseFiction event, Smarti and Vaila met with their SocEnts, and I went south to Antony to have an afternoon of family work time at my pastor’s home. A new weekly tradition, I’ll make chai, Marita (my pastor’s wife) will cook a little something, and we will work quietly together on our own little projects in their living room (me on my thesis) while their two sons (7 and 10 years old) play. These times are so comforting to me and keep me grounded in the truth that I am loved, cared for and have a beautiful spiritual family in Paris who are doing life with me. It may sound strange that I go to hang out with them and spend the time working on homework, but something I’m learning is that true family doesn’t judge or exclude because you’re not bringing something exciting and fun to the table. Family accepts and welcomes doing life however we need to do it. In this season, it means just being together while we work (but,of course, interrupting the work for laughs; sharing random thoughts, ideas, praises; drinking chai, and marveling at the christmas tree (the sight and the lovely pine smells).
Coming home tonight, I also had a special surprise: a buddy of mine, and incredible artist, showed me a piece he’s working on for submission to the What Art Can Do event. I so badly want to share a picture of the work here but….you’ll just have to come to the event to see it!!
Sunday
Seriously special morning. Kabubu, Yasin and I have been working together to increase refugee inclusion in and through sports. We are still hard at work on a program that can generate income and employment opportunity through social business, and today we made a small and simple step towards this. We brought a crew of seven refugees to be a part of the Adidas running club in Paris. It was an awesome early-stage success to celebrate.
I went to church afterwards and was asked to be on the American Church in Paris’s radio show tomorrow evening, where I’ll share about this project. The show broadcasts to 30,000 people, so I’m prayerfully prepping for this! 
As the week closes, Smarti and I connect tonight on what we’ve got going forward, and I’m saying prayers of thank you for this team I’m blessed to do life with!
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Pls give me chapter four before I have to endure Thanksgiving dinner 😭😭😭
unfortunately, anon, i don't think that's gonna happen--i've been on the road since 6 am, and i'm gonna be kinda busy with family stuff all day, i think. i'm really sorry! i'll give you am excerpt tho! good luck with your dinner! 💕 💕
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With no sign of Marita and no answers as to where Scully might be, he leaves. He tries Scully’s phone twice more on the way back; still no answer. He decides to go to Scully’s apartment to see if she is there, tell her Cassandra is missing. But no one answers when he knocks. He uses his key and finds it empty, the rooms hollow. He spent the night here many times during their relationship, and several other evenings before that, working on casefiles at the table or on the couch, it’s not the same without Scully in it. When he goes back to check Scully’s bedroom, he finds a chair jammed under the doorknob of her spare bedroom.
“Scully?” he calls, opening the door to her bedroom. It’s empty, blankets rumpled on one side. The other side is tucked in, neatly smoothed over half of the bed. His side. He swallows, turns and walks out.
He has no idea where or how to find Scully, so he does the only thing that feels right: he goes back to work and waits for her to show up. He flips through files of the Skyland Mountain incident, looking for any potential leads. He calls the coroner’s office where they are painstakingly identifying and autopsying the victims for any more intel. He tries Scully’s phone a few more times to no avail.
Sometime after eleven, Mulder leaves the Bureau and goes straight to Scully’s place. She’s still not there. She’s still not there, and he’s starting to get frightened. Chewing his lower lip and wondering if she’s avoiding talking to him in particular, he calls her from her home phone to no avail. Rubbing his forehead, he tries calling Skinner instead. (Home number, not office.) “Walter Skinner,” the older man says grouchily into the phone, sounded still half-asleep.
“Sir, it’s Agent Mulder,” he says, clutching the phone hard in his hand. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with Agent Scully.”
“Mulder, is it possible that she is asleep and not in the mood to answer the phone in the middle of the night?” Skinner growls, fed-up.
“I’m at her house right now, sir. She’s not here. I think she left the Bureau hours ago, and she hasn’t answered any of my phone calls.” Mulder’s fingers tap out a frantic rhythm on his knee. He can’t stop hearing her say, Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to rule out what Cassandra Spender has to say. “Sir, I found evidence… evidence of the burn victims in Virginia having similar implants in their neck. The kind Agent Scully has. I have reason to believe that it’s a homing device. I have reason to believe…”
“I’m going to stop you right there, Agent Mulder,” Skinner says wearily. “Scully is an intelligent woman, and I have no reason to believe she’s going to the site of another mass burning.”
“Then where is she?” he grinds out through his teeth.
“I don’t know, but it’s too early to start panicking, Mulder.” His voice is more soothing now. “If neither of us have heard from her by tomorrow, then we can start looking. But for now? For now, you’ve got to stay calm. I’m sure she’s fine.”
Mulder hangs up, buzzing with frustration. He considers calling Scully’s mom to see if she’s there, but he doesn’t want to wake her up in the middle of the night just to worry her. Especially if Scully is fine. (She has to be, she has to be fine.) He wants to go out and look for her, but he has absolutely no idea where to start. He presses his hands over his eyes, groaning. He tries Scully’s cell phone one more time. No answer.
He kicks off his shoes, unlatches his watch and puts it on the coffee table, and curls up on Scully’s couch in his tuxedo and socked feet. The blanket draped over the back of the couch smells like her; he doesn’t move it, but he leans his face against it, breathing it in. He misses her. He misses her, and he’s an idiot for thinking he could push her away in Dallas, after the night on the couch. He’s been an idiot a lot lately.
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