#mashing my two interests together like making two barbie dolls kiss

[catsharkie]

i can b sooo cringe

[wolves-in-the-world]

tags on krakenartificer's post about a leverage au where nate enters the priesthood but ends up running cons for people who come to him for help anyway:

#now i need a crossover episode of catholic priest nate who's still running leverage style shenanigans #with father brown [via @trivalentlinks]

thank you for making me stare at the wall in fascination and horror about this crossover

they'd be occasional allies occasional confidantes they'd go behind each other's backs once or twice and only kinda regret it. This nate hasn't gone through the same loss as in canon, but that wouldn't make him a whole lot softer, so he'd be fundamentally irritated with father brown - his tested and unshakeable belief and his optimism about the human condition - and father brown would be generally concerned about everyone on nate's end, and nate not the least of it. They'd play chess together and be fairly well-matched. They'd visit each other's confessionals to check in.

we'd get some interesting acknowledgement of father brown's "I'm nice and simple and harmless" grift (which I could also call power negativity) which is only kind of a grift because he really is that nice and harmless beneath, except that he uses it to get information from people.

flambeau would be utterly thrilled and (playfully?) insulted not to be father brown's only criminal associate.

the leverage crew would be correctly suspicious of flambeau, I think, but sophie would greet him by name - possibly with a kiss to the cheek, possibly eyeing him like he's a viper in their midst - and reference some very improbable occasion when they were after the same prize. He mentions she was using a different name then; he doesn't say what it was. Bonus points if he also had his eye on the dagger in the Rashomon Job but had the flu / was unexpectedly in prison / had to attend a grandmother's funeral at the time.

I have this certainty in my mind that the leverage crew would be largely dismissive of sid's abilities and he'd kind of snort and roll his eyes about it - he's at worst a common criminal and very lower class, so he's used to being understimated - and surprise them with his connections or lock-picking or holding his own in a brawl or fixing an elderly car in the quickest dirtiest way imaginable. (Parker would decide she likes him then; the others would be reassured after seeing how gentle he is when talking with her.) He'd also nope out of leverage's business at a sensible time, because father brown's rubbed off on him and he doesn't actually want that kind of danger - unless the con's personal.

(I'm not sure whether to set this in leverage time or drag it back to father brown's 1950s so I'm settling for mashing the two together and pretending it's not an issue. See also: geography.)

… father brown would have I think one harrowing conversation with eliot where they mention their time in the military, the marks that killing people and losing people leaves on a person - father brown already does this in canon, tells someone it's unfair that they're mired in trauma and alcoholism when he found his faith through trauma instead, it floored me - and after brushing on repentance and god here, he wouldn't bring it up with eliot again. (I think father brown varies on this in canon, frankly, but he often respects that kind of boundary, and I think he'd recognise a wound so sore it should be left to heal however it can.)

(yes I'm playing with fictional priests like barbie dolls but no I'm not comfortable with the conversion aspects, so apologies and bear with me while I skate on past that.)

(he'd describe eliot as a good person, once, or as someone working very hard at it. Eliot would be on edge about that for the entire con, finding a little too much uneasy satisfaction in getting to knock people out and play the bad guy - play at the simpler stuff he used to do. Sophie might catch father brown for a word about it; father brown wouldn't be that clumsy again.)

I think father brown and nate would both talk bunty out of getting involved in a joint kembleford-leverage operation except in the most innocent way possible. The problem is she actually would make a good getaway driver, and she's thrilled with the idea, but she's already had some run-ins with the press and the law and can't risk another; luckily she's better used as a distraction elsewhere.

and I'm sorry to do this, but I think lady felicia's husband would be a mark or potential mark at one point. It would be fraught.

(the main reason I haven't recommended father brown's heist episode (s7e10), aside from not having a background on the politics in it, is that it shows lady felicia as a victim and pulls the heist on her behalf. The show largely convinced me to ignore the messy reality of her and her husband's inherited wealth, but that episode made me kinda uncomfortable - which is a shame, because seeing these characters pull a heist was fucking great.)

mrs mccarthy would be used against her will or knowledge as a distraction while someone's pockets are picked. She isn't told until afterwards, and then only half by accident. She is, of course, horrified. Father brown was absolutely the one to suggest it in planning, but flambeau slips in mid-apology to smoothly take the blame.

I could in fact go on and this is in fact a problem.

—

editing to continue:

I'm actually thinking that father brown might approach eliot from an ex-military angle and not a Religious Authority angle at all - eliot was raised protestant, after all, and it's an entirely different vibe. And I have to think eliot's guarded around father brown for the very fact that he's a priest and seems to mean it in a way that nate, I feel, wouldn't. So they may avoid the topic entirely, or as close to it as they can when brushing on, well, eliot's entire moral injury situation. Which is good news for me.

bunty would admire parker for being different and capable and getting up to exciting things, though would probably fail at any attempts at friendship until she thinks to ask what parker likes doing and ends up learning to pick pockets that evening. The second those two are around buildings tall enough to rappel down she's in danger. (The second parker can slip away at night she's giving the church a go; father brown gives her a look the night before and quietly warns her about the dodgy roof.)

mrs mccarthy decides fairly quickly that hardison is a very nice young man (his nana instincts are online and functional) even if he spends far too much time on the wretched computer. She's determined to feed him and half the time he's determined to find ways to politely refuse, though the strawberry scones are actually pretty good.

she's appalled by eliot's job, and fiercely territorial of her kitchen when he offers help, even just cleaning up, but once she's seen him get in the way of trouble she's absolutely catching his arm and half hiding behind him in any crisis real or perceived. (She still doesn't approve of him.)

lady felicia sees hardison and eliot as two very different kinds of novelties and does some talking to hardison about tech (mostly listening and marveling) and some quietly ogling both of them, and especially eliot once she's seen him fighting. (Eliot unfortunately turned on his charm when he realised she sort of expected it. She doesn't get to chat with charming southern gents all that often - it's very shallow, and she's not serious about it.)

thank goodness bunty's too young for eliot so I don't have to go there. He has to tuck her out of sight in a barn at some point when trouble's headed their way; when the mess is almost cleaned up and she's grabbed a rifle from somewhere to tell the the remaining goon to clear off, with every appearance of competence, eliot takes it from her and disarms it with a smear of blood under his nose and a slightly betrayed expression.

hardison and sid get along, aside from a little initial insecurity on the parker front, and get to bitch a bit about flambeau, who hardison mistrusts from the start.

flambeau... he admires parker, from a distance - professionally and not very effusively - but after he watches her work for a while he seems to realise who she was trained by, and tells her as much. He says he was too, for a very short time, and it's unclear if he'd gain anything from making it up. Says that he and archie had a difference of opinion - and has a way of saying it that implies there might have been fire involved.

[theboost]

Can’t bring myself to watch the finale of due south, so for the two people who are interested, here are my thoughts from when I was watching through

Due South insanity moment where vecchio gives a long speech to his sister in which he tells her to stay away from fraser because she’ll only get hurt and guys like fraser won’t even notice and then she responds by telling him that he’s afraid to dream. How am I supposed to take this

Obsessed with Fraser having a sleepover with his childhood hockey bestie. I think they should practice kissing with each other. I’m such a gay fraser truther I’m sorry but id take him and random hockey guy over him and Victoria

I think paul gross just has a resting smirk which is something you don’t see too often but it’s really making this funeral scene unintentionally humorous. Buddy you couldn’t muster a frown. I hate you Paul Gross, you live action Disney prince. That is a term that gets thrown around a lot but it’s true for him

100 percent still a gay fraser truther. Why are they having romantical ten- SORRY LIEUTENANT THATCHER JUST HIT HIM WITH A DAMN BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS- romantical tension between fraser and thatcher. I don’t like it. She’s so mean to him all the time. He needs to get with a real man like Ray. I don’t really think you can put a guy like fraser in a relationship with his superior officer the chain of command would fuck him up. But they just keep mashing them together like Barbie dolls. I don’t get it. Also I kind of don’t like Francesca I’m sorry women…

“Ray, get in the closet” “Benny, get out of the closet” real dialogue. I don’t even need to make the joke. “I was in the closet with detective vecchio” I could end it all

Are we really doing another season finale where they’re getting framed by someone who one of them put in prison who recently go out and now seeks revenge. I guess if it ain’t broke. Okay so it’s not a season finale arc but still. It’s weird that it happened twice

CAN WE STOP PUTTING POOR GAY BOY FRASER - henceforth referred to as gayser when he is into situations wherein I want to emphasize his homosexuality - IN FORCED STRAIGHT SITUATIONS LIKE I KNOW THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO PLAY DOMESTICITY WITH FRANNIE. And she really needs to get with a woman

Girl a clip show for the season 2 finale? Come now. Also this is why starsky and hutch will always be a show made to hatecrime the watcher while due south uplifts you, because starsky and hutch did the amnesia plot line but hutch faked it. Because he’s insane.

“Alone we’re incomplete” truly insane thing to say about your best friend. Season 2 has really solidified by theory that ray is an out gay man to himself and no one else and he performs heterosexuality as a cover and gayser is just really truly deeply closeted because there were no gay people in a 100 kilometer radius growing up in the yukon. Also “benny, I could kiss you” “I thought we were just friends, ray” “we are” hello??? Hello???

Okay what the hell is going on with Ray K. You weren’t lying. 2 episodes in and he’s asking if Fraser thinks he’s attractive.

“All women are our sisters” I LOVE YOU FRASER. FEMINIST LEGEND.

I still gayser truth of course but as far as love interests go I don’t mind this bounty hunter milf

I don’t love that ghost dad was made a main character I liked him more when he would randomly pop up and I think they use him too much but I do love his little office set. And I do love that ghost dad is a character that exists

I don’t really care for the fact that one of kowalski’s defining traits is his love of police brutality. Come on due south. You used to understand that police violence is bad

I’ll be honest this is one of the first American based shows I’ve seen that promotes the idea of Canadian exceptionalism. And like it wasn’t initially like this as, see my last point, due South used to know and show that both the Chicago police and the mounties were corrupt, with Fraser being the worlds most special guy, but later seasons are like “all Mounties are inherently virtuous supermen”

Detective Huey and Fraser narrative foils in that both of them lost their first gay partner and then proceeded to get even gayer with their second partner. I do love Huey. And Dewey’s strange ways bewitch me I think he should hook up with turnbull

Women love to ask Fraser if they can trust him and then kiss him. Non_threatening_boys.jpg

Whenever Scott Bakula sings on quantum leap I cheer and clap like a seal and whenever paul gross sings I shriek and cover my eyes and say kill yourself

Every subplot to Mountie Sings the Blues makes me so happy I love huey and deweys stupid ass country song and I actually think Francesca/Turnbull is cute I’ve actually been hoping they would do it

I’m so sad due south got canceled right after the Fraser sister reveal I want so many more episodes with them hanging out

One thing about Fraser is that his love interest will be a brunette woman. Frannie, Victoria, Thatcher, milf bounty hunter and- sorry I looked up the poker episode to remember if the poker chick was brunette and sure enough