#maury the hormone monster

[weirdlittleberry]

"The Internet is for porn" from Avenue Q but it's the cast of Big Mouth

[ultraviolet-explosion]

I want to see these two in the same room:

[flyinurfries]

Another Maury drawing cuz I like him lol

[ramseysdumbsketchbook]

"...Never pegged you as the poke-holes-in-the-condom type."

[weirdghostboi666]

These, but Alucard and Anderson

[bigboos61]

(via Big Mouth Merch Fitted V-Neck T-Shirt by Aldoralfox)

The Big Mouth Logo T-Shirt. Get apparel and exclusive collectibles like the Big Mouth logo tee. Big Mouth is more than just one of the raunchiest,

[eli-com]

୧ *·˚ — JUDD BIRCH

୨୧ includes — poor writing, mature content, fem!reader, afab reader, innocent?reader, virgin!reader, p in v, loss of virginity, oral (f!receiving), praise, ooc!Judd, fingering, masterbation

➜ a continuation of this

— Judd was sure he’d finally gone crazy, finally reached that point of insanity where there was no going back. Many would have thought he’d reached that point a long time ago, but no; this was his rock bottom.

Hefty, deep pants filled the bedroom, the sound of slick movements vibrating off of his four walls. How long had he been at this now? How long had his veiny hand been dragging eagerly along his rock hard cock for? How many times had he come? He couldn’t remember when or how it had started — just that there was only one person to blame for the painful state he was in, and that person was you.

You and your adorable little moans, you and your perfect tits, you and that pretty pussy of yours. You, you, you! You were the only thing his mind could seem to focus on, every-time he closed his eyes another picture of you would appear, he’d found that his favourite so far was the memory of what you looked like above him when he had tongue ravaging your cunt, your lashes fluttering against those rosy cheeks, chest heaving with each breath, glossy lips parted and ever so tempting. He wondered what they’d look like wrapped around his cock, god how he wanted to find out. Would you be able to take his whole length in your mouth? He kind of hoped not; hoped that you’d struggle so he could watch as drool ran down your chin whilst you gagged pathetically, eyes welling up with tears. Fuck.

“Stupid bitch.” He’d groan out as his hips jerked up, another orgasm fast approaching, his hand movements getting sloppy. He’d fucked other girls before, plenty of other girls, but once the deed was done he never cared enough to spare them a second thought, so why would you not just fuck off and leave him alone? He’d lay in bed at night and sometimes he swore he could still hear you moaning his name, telling him how badly you needed him in that breathless voice that made his cock twitch. Maybe it was because somehow, you’d made him cum without even a touch to his groin, made the moody rebel embarrassed for the first time in his life. Or maybe it was because of that shy smile you’d given him when he’d walked you home that day, the way your arms wrapped around his torso when you gave him a quick hug before rushing into your house and locking yourself away from him. A choked moan would escape him as he felt himself release into his hand once again, sensitive red tip throbbing, whole body practically shaking as he threw his head back, brows scrunched together in ecstasy.

“She’s got you real good, huh?” That familiar raspy voice filled the room, causing the pale boy to curse under his breath as he calmed down from his high, eyes staring straight up at the ceiling above him that was covered in all kinds of marks; mostly from when he used to throw tantrums as a child and throw knives up into it, waiting to see which would fall first and imagining them landing on someone who had pissed him off recently — even as a child he’d always had his enemies. Although he did his best to ignore the annoying, needy call of his hormone monster, there was never any avoiding Maury, the furry creature leaning over him and offering a knowing grin. “What you thinking about?” He’d raise his brows comically. “You thinking about (y/n)? Thinking about her tits? Her ass? God, imagine the view of taking her from behind, wait, but then imagine taking her in missionary too, god you’d never get bored, would you? Bet you she’s flexible, think of all the positions you could try!” The sex-driven monster would drone on, now pacing around Judd’s room as the boy rolled his eyes and stood up, finally pulling his underwear back on after what he guessed had been at least an hour of ‘taking care of himself’.

“Don’t you have other horny freaks to bother? Get the hell out of my room.” He’d grumble as he threw on some grey jogging bottoms, letting them hang loosely on his hips as he made his way towards the door, looking forward to getting out of the stuffy room. However, his plan was soon paused when Maury jumped into his path, a look of concern on his face.

“Wait! Why cut this party short?! We can keep going — I’m sure you could come up with some more ideas on how you’d like to fuck (y/n)! Oh, what if you used a knife, think she’d like that? Bet she’d be into it, what do you think?” The monster was clearly excited, he’d never seen Judd so infatuated with someone before, it was new. Though, Judd didn’t seem to reciprocate the feeling, only offering a roll of his eyes as he passed the taller creature by, escaping into the hallway as his hormone monster finally took the hint and left him alone — Maury knew better than to pester Judd for too long.

He could already hear the excited chatter of his parents and sister as he descended the stairs, holding back a groan of annoyance at their chirpy tones; always so happy. The trio were gathered in the kitchen, his dad cooking whilst his mum and sister sat at the kitchen counter. His dad was the first to notice him, a joyful smile appearing on the older man’s lips as he extended his arms into the air with a spatula still in hand, making his way over to his eldest child in an attempt to trap him in a hug. Judd would grunt, brows furrowing in annoyance.

“Touch me and you’re dead, old man.” He’d threaten, voice especially hoarse, likely from his previous activities. His dad only nodded in response, backing up again, smile never faltering; he respected personal boundaries! His parents were always in a good mood, but something was off today, something was happening. “What’s got you freaks so enthusiastic?” Judd liked to feign disinterest when it came to most things, but sometimes his curious mind simply got the better of him.

“Your sister’s bringing a friend we’ve never met before over for a sleepover, isn’t that exciting! A new person to share our love with.” His dad would answer before anyone else even got the opportunity to open their mouths, he had always been a very excitable man. Judd could only roll his eyes at this, stepping over to the fridge and pulling out a carton of orange juice. His sister was constantly having friends over, and most of them were desperate losers who threw themselves at him whenever Leah wasn’t looking.

“So what? They’ll probably see the way you act and run for the hills within the first ten minutes of being here.” A scoff would leave his lips as he brought the carton up to his mouth, beginning to drink the orange juice. Leah would grimace at this, muttering something about how she couldn’t touch that now, not wanting to share his bacteria. He’d grin, if there was one thing in this world he loved, it was pissing off his siblings.

“You shouldn’t be so negative, Judd!” His mother would scold, glaring at him momentarily before turning back to his sister. “(y/n) sounds like a lovely girl! I’m sure she won’t be one to judge, besides, I’ve ordered Nicky not to leave his room unless it’s something important and me and your father will be in our room enjoying each others company.” She’d reach over the counter, taking her husband’s hand into her own as the lovesick couple grinned at each other. Judd and Leah shared a look of disgust, immediately knowing what ‘enjoying each others company’ meant. However, after a short minute, something in Judd’s mind would switch on.

“(y/n)’s the one staying over?” Leah looked confused at his question, arms crossed over her chest as she analysed his dishevelled state. She could tell something was up with her brother, as much as he tried to hide most of his emotions, every so often he’d slip up. “How d’you know her? She’s in my grade.”

“We’re in the school choir together? Plus she’s popular, Judd; not that I’d expect you to know anything about that… Loads of people know her.” The blonde girl would answer, leaning forward onto the counter infront of her. Their parents were now watching the interaction, Diane eyeing her son with a curious grin.

“Are you close with her, Judd?” The ginger woman would tilt her head ever so gently to the side in question, clearly noting something was up with her son. Judd could tell she knew something had happened, his mum could figure him out in seconds without even a word from him. He could only glare at her, practically slamming the juice carton down onto the counter in front of him.

“No, too up her own ass.” He’d lie, him and his mother stuck in a tense staring contest as he watched her eyes cloud over with interest. However, it was soon interrupted with a scoff from Leah.

“As if she’d ever go near someone like you anyways.” Judd couldn’t help but grin at the irony of the comment, chuckling under his breath as he took one last swig of the orange juice before placing it back into the fridge. All his family could do was eye him in curiosity, clearly Diane was the only one who’d figured him out, even if she wasn’t sure just how far things had gotten; she knew something had happened. “Just don’t be a freak tonight and stay in your room like you always do, that’s all I ask.” Leah would plead, clasping her hands together in-front of her, seeming almost desperate.

The boy would offer a grunt in response, giving a nod before wondering off back upstairs towards the bathroom, ready to take a cold shower. “Why would I wanna be around you anyways?” He’d shout back.

— You’d arrived at the Birch home sooner than anyone had expected, adorned in a pretty white off the shoulder jumper and some bootcut blue jeans. Judd had spotted you exiting a car, awkwardly hugging the guy driving it before walking up to the door of his home. He hadn’t bothered going back downstairs yet, and in all honesty he wasn’t sure if he should. What would happen if he did go down there? Would you freak out? Would you act like he didn’t exist? He had no clue.

He’d had his dinner upstairs that night, sharing with his raccoons before they scurried off through his window, probably off to hunt for something to give him in return like they usually did. He’d shut the window behind them, grabbing his plate and exiting his room — it was around twelve AM by now, and he’d heard you and Leah go off to her room a few hours ago.

The house was silent and dark, white light of the kitchen flickering on as he flipped the switch before tossing his plate into the sink and beginning to pour himself a glass of water. Judd was always aware of his surroundings, so he immediately turned around in slight alarm when he heard bare feet padding against the kitchen tiles. There you stood in the doorway, now dressed in a vest and some plaid pyjama bottoms, clearly surprised to see him, nervousness already taking over your smaller frame.

“Sorry — didn’t know anyone was down here, just wanted a glass of water.” Your voice was so shaky, breathless. The air had quickly become tense, the two do you staring at each other as if afraid to say anything else. After a few moments he’d clear his throat, sliding the glass of water he’d made for himself over the counter towards you before turning back to make his own. You’d whisper a thank you as you took it into your hands, only receiving a grunt in return.

You hadn’t left after getting your drink, remaining stood by the counter as you sipped on your water. He’d grumble something under his breath before finally turning, his own glass of water in his hands as he leaned back against the sink, eyeing you over. He couldn’t help the way his eyes naturally gravitated over to your chest, tits poking out of the top of your vest as if to tease him, feeling his dick twitch in his sweatpants.

You weren’t stupid, you could see him eyeing you up, as if he hasn’t eaten for weeks and you were some kind of buffet that had been laid out for him. However, you simply didn’t have the guts to make a move, still unsure where you and Judd stood around each other. Sure, only a few days ago he’d had his mouth attached to your clit, fingers moving inside of you, but did that really mean anything? To you it did, but you knew Judd Birch — you knew how he didn’t want to be tied down, how he’d never slept with the same girl more than once, and although you hadn’t actually slept together, what if just making you fall apart on his hand was enough for him?

A naive part of you hoped that wasn’t the case, hoped that maybe he did like you, maybe what happened in that closet wasn’t just an ‘in-the-moment’ thing, but the realistic part of you knew better than that. That was why you didn’t allow yourself to think about it too much, drowning yourself in schoolwork and friends; but that could only last so long, and when you laid awake in bed at night, his face was the only thing you thought of. You’d tried to get yourself off, release the tension that had built up inside, but you just couldn’t — you could never reach the spots he did, never keep the right pace, it was all wrong.

“Where’s Leah?” You hadn’t been expecting him to keep talking to you once you’d gotten your water, imagining that he’d take his own drink and shove past you. But here he was, leaning against the counter behind him and staring at you as he waited for you to respond. Although he’d been previously eyeing you up, when Judd spoke he looked at you, not your chest or your ass — he looked you right in the eyes. Sure, it’s the bare minimum, but so many guys at school couldn’t even look you in the eyes, so this felt like something special.

“She fell asleep while we were watching a movie… Tried to wake her up but I guess once she’s out, she’s out.” You’d try joke, laughing nervously as you shrugged your shoulders, but Judd didn’t laugh along. Instead his face remained in the same stoic expression it always did, eyes glued to your own.

“Who’s the guy that dropped you off?” He’d ask. This surprised you, and you made no attempt to hide it in the way your brows raised, lips ever so slightly parted. Had Judd been watching you when you’d gotten here? This was the first time you’d seen him all day, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been somewhat disappointed at his lack of presence. It was embarrassing, but when Leah invited you over for a sleepover, the first thing you thought of was Judd — being in such close proximity with him again. Just being around him now had your stomach in knots.

“Felix?” You’d question, head tilted ever so slightly to the side in confusion. Judd would simply shrug; feigning disinterest. “He’s just a new friend… We were all studying over at his house and he offered to give me a lift.” Judd’s eyes would somewhat narrow as you spoke, his grip on the counter he was leaning on tightening, knuckles going white.

“You gonna fuck him?” His words almost had you choking on air, eyes blown wide as you placed your water down. Surely he was joking, teasing you for some strange reason? But you could see he was serious, see how his jaw tensed, how he placed his own glass down, muscular arms involuntarily flexing with each movement. He looked angry, jealous even.

“No? What… Where did that even come from? I hardly know the guy! He just offered to give me a ride here because it was a long walk.” You could feel your face turning a deep shade of red, voice shaking and throat suddenly dry. If things hadn’t felt tense before, they definitely did now. By now Judd had made his way around the island counter that stood between you both, one hand resting on the cold marble as he stared down at you, brows raised as if he didn’t believe you. “I’m serious! I’m not- you know I’m…” You’d trail off, eyes trained on the floor below you, suddenly too afraid to meet his eyes.

“He wants to fuck you, could see it when he looked at you.” He’d state in that monotone voice of his, some hair falling in-front of his now hooded eyes. The air between you both felt thick, and before you knew it he’d captured your chin between his finger and thumb, lifting your face up until your eyes met his. “You wanna fuck him too?” A shaky breath escaped your lips as you shook your head ‘no.’ A satisfied, cocky grin would appear on his lips for a quick moment before it was gone again. “Good girl…” His thumb would move to caress the side of your face, tracing over your cheekbone soothingly. “Been thinkin’ about you…” His hand made its way to your hair, fingers running through it before he was suddenly yanking on it, causing your head to fall back, now staring straight up at his face as it hovered over yours, a pained yelp leaving you. “D’you think about me?”

“Yes.” You’d whimper, taking in a deep breath and swallowing saliva in an attempt to soothe your throat. “Think about you all the time…” The words left your lips without a single thought behind them, but even if you lied Judd would be able to tell, and that would only piss him off more. “Cant help it.”

Judd couldn’t help the chuckle that left him at your pathetic tone, leaning ever so slightly closer so you could feel each breath that left him fan over your face. “What do you think about me, huh?” He’d dip his head so his nose would run along the side of your face, until his lips traced over the shell of your ear and he began to nibble on it, a sharp gasp leaving you as you tensed. “Think about me touching you?”

“Yes.” You couldn’t help the loud whine that left you when his lips travelled down to the column of your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and eagerly nipping at it. “Think about your hands, they’re so pretty Judd.” He’d grin into your neck, hands moving to grip at your waist and pull your body closer to his own. They’d dip under the fabric of your pyjama pants and panties, thumbs rubbing over the skin of your hips as he bit harshly into your throat this time, a sensual moan leaving you. “Want more of you Judd… wasn’t enough before.”

He’d scoff, pulling away from your neck and admiring the red marks he’d left behind, imaging the bruises that were soon to appear. “Not enough? You think you deserve more?” His hands would slowly run up and down your hips and thighs before he was harshly grabbing at your ass, groping it between his fingers and causing you to whimper. “Greedy girl, huh?” He’d mock.

“Please…” Your voice was whiny and breathless, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his vest, you felt as if your legs could give out at any moment. Before you could continue speaking, Judd had finally attached his lips to your own. The kiss was hot, fast-paced and desperate, teeth against teeth and tongues almost immediately invading each other’s mouths. His hands had hooked under your thighs and lifted you up to sit on the counter by now, and even through your pyjama bottoms you were able to feel how cold the marble was, but it was a nice contrast to how hot the rest of your body felt.

One of Judd’s hands would slide up to your neck, thumb running along the curve of your jaw as he pulled you closer into the kiss, your nose brushing against his — you were more confident this time, had a better idea of what you were doing, tilting your head softly to the side and running your own hands down his stomach until they reached the bottom of his vest. You’d begin to pull it off, separating from the kiss momentarily and carelessly throwing the material somewhere behind you. Judd of course took the opportunity to take your own shirt off, practically growling as he felt your nails rake over his chest.

Soon enough he’d pushed you back so you were now laying down on the counter, legs dangling off the edge as you stared up at the ceiling, chest heaving with each deep breath you took. You could feel Judd run his hands over your sides before he was reaching under you to unclasp your bra and toss it elsewhere along with the both of your shirts. The cold air of the kitchen had your nipples pebbling, Judd’s thumb brushing over one before he toyed with it between his fingers, causing you to let out a short sob as your back arched. He couldn’t get enough of how sensitive you were. His lips soon attached to one of your tits, teeth grazing over your nipple and tongue teasing it as his other hand groped at the other mound, making sure both got some attention. He’d continue to alternate, groans leaving him each time your hands tugged at his hair, those angelic sounds that left your lips making him grind his erection into the side of the kitchen counter, desperately searching for friction.

He’d begin to trail his kisses between the valley of your breasts before travelling lower towards your stomach and then to the skin just above the top of your pyjama pants. You waited with anxious breaths, staring down at him with those needy eyes, begging him to fuck you with just a look. “You want me to make you feel good?” He’d raise his pierced brow, hands now placed on either one of your thighs, holding your legs apart for him. You were soon nodding without a second thought, whines leaving you as you reached down to try pull off your own pyjama bottoms. He’d scoff with a grin, reaching a hand up to your heat and placing his hand over it before slowly applying pressure with his palm. “Right here?” He’d ask.

“Yes! Yes, please Judd — want all of you, want your mouth, your cock-” You were cut off by a harsh slap to your thigh, the skin surely already gaining a red hue, a sharp gasp leaving you. Judd was grinning, hand now caressing the area he’d slapped.

“Such naughty words coming from the princesses mouth; what would everyone else think if they heard the things you’re saying to me, huh?” He’d tilt his head to the side as he asked, not waiting for your answer as he began to pull your pyjama bottoms down, revealing the pretty pink lace panties you wore beneath them. Judd was eagerly leaning in, licking a stripe up your panties and groaning at the taste of your juices that had covered the thin material, the wet patch they’d left only getting darker and it mixed with his saliva. The gesture had you squirming, one of his hands placed onto your hip to hold you in place as the other held onto your thigh, keeping you spread wide for him as he hooked your legs over his shoulders.

By now he was practically making out with your clothed cunt, sucking on your cotton panties in an attempt to make the most of every drop of slick you’d left on them. You had to place a hand over your mouth to stop the sobs of pleasure that threatened to leave from travelling around the Birch household. His parents were right upstairs, Leah in her room asleep, and you were pretty sure his little brother was in his room too. Any of them could come downstairs and see you both, but for some reason that only seemed to add to your arousal.

Just as you felt that familiar knot begin to form in your stomach, Judd had stopped, pulling his mouth off of you and placing his hands on either side of your body on the counter, dark eyes staring at you lustfully. You were going to open your mouth to say something, but then his hands were grabbing you once again, dragging you back to the edge of the counter and leaning over you, harshly grinding the bulge that had formed in his sweatpants over your clothed pussy, the wet material staining his own. You could tell he was big just from that, eyes rolling into the back of your head as your back arched off of the counter. “Please, Judd I need it so bad, god, please.” You’d pant, and Judd would only hum in response.

“Gonna fuck you in my bed.” He’d state firmly, hooking his hands under your thighs as you sat up, lifting you off of the counter and into his arms, your legs hooking around his waist as you wound your arms around his neck. “Good girls deserve a bed, don’t they?” He’d question in that low tone that always somehow made your knees weak. You nodded along dumbly, simply overexcited at the idea of finally losing your virginity — and to Judd of all people.

He carried you up to his room pretty quickly, taking note of the clothes strewn across the kitchen and making a mental note to return for them later on. In a flash you were laying back on his bed, watching him slowly pull your panties off of you, placing the material onto his bedside table before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to your clit, a tiny whimper vibrating in your throat. He’d laugh breathlessly into your cunt, inhaling your scent before finally attaching his lips to your clit and flicking his tongue over it, hollowing out his cheeks as he sucked on the bud. You couldn’t help the way you aggressively yanked on his hair, causing him to let out a groan that vibrated against you and had you throwing your head back in pleasure, legs squeezing around his head as if fearful he’d pull away again. However, he made no move to stop you, as if he enjoyed being trapped between your legs, mouth attached to your cunt.

His fingers soon joined his mouth, running through your folds and collecting your juices before his thumb was circling around your entrance, hole clenching around nothing as it attempted to drag him inside. He didn’t wait long, soon inserting one finger into you and sighing at the way you tightened around his digit. He couldn’t fucking wait to be inside of you.

His finger set a steady pace as it moved, and soon enough a second one had joined it, both pumping in and out before curling to find that spongy spot that made your back arch and brows knit together, a guttural moan passing your lips as your body did it’s best to grind against his mouth and fingers. He’d run his tongue through your folds, collecting your juices and humming as he swallowed them. His fingers began to ever so slightly pick up their pace, twisting inside of you and causing your entire body to jolt and writhe on the blanket beneath you, your face contorted with pleasure and mouth agape as strings of moans left you. As if Judd could tell you were almost at your limit, he’d pull his mouth off of you, pace of his fingers slowing down and causing you to whine, eyes meeting his before dropping to watch the way his tongue darted out of his mouth to collect the juices covering his lips.

“You sure you think you can handle me?” He’d grin, leaning up to hover over you, placing short kisses over your breasts before he met your lips with his own, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. “It’s okay to change your mind.” He’d mumble into your lips, and despite the intimacy of the situation, you could tell he was serious — he wanted to know you were sure.

You’d grind your hips up into his own in response, holding in your breathless giggles as you felt his hips instinctively buck into you, clothed groin pushing into your sensitive cunt and causing you to shudder with desire. “Yes, want this — want this with you.” You’d confirm, and immediately Judd was pulling his sweatpants down, revealing the lack of underwear underneath; he wouldn’t even admit to Maury how hard he’d gotten just from seeing you in his driveway earlier, immediately rushing off to his room to sort it out. One of the main reasons he hadn’t left his room was fear that he’d see you and get a painful erection in-front of his entire family…

You couldn’t help the gasp that left you at the sight of his cock, thick and veiny as it curved ever so slightly to the side. Although this was the only one you’d ever seen, you were sure he was thicker than average, just about the length you’d imagined too, tip an aggressive pink and already leaking pre-cum. You’d reach forward, thumb swiping some of the pre-cum off and bringing it into your mouth, the movement almost instinctive. Judd could only groan as he watched, quickly reaching over to his bedside table to grab a condom from the drawer, eagerly sliding it over himself.

Soon enough his own hand moving up to caress the side of your face as the other took hold of his length, prodding the tip against your entrance, the both of you moaning as you fluttered around nothing. Then he was moving forward, slowly sinking inside of you, brows furrowed as he tried to contain his pleasure, your velvety walls squeezing him and doing their best to pull him further in. “Fuck.” He’d mumble, eyes travelling back and forth between your face and your cunt, absorbed in the way your features morphed with pleasure as he moved.

“It’s too big…” You’d squeal, throwing your head back as your hands clamped down on his forearms, back arching off of the bed as you felt pain rise in your stomach. Tears would sting at your eyes, the stabbing pain spreading further. Judd would immediately stop moving, only making you whine as you continued to writhe below him.

“You want me to stop?” He’d move his hand up to your stomach, thumb running just over where he could see a slight bulge in your tummy, caressing the skin in a soothing manner. His other hand brushing your hair off of your forehead. You couldn’t help but think about how strange this was, you’d never seen Judd so caring… Well, not since your ‘moment’ in the school janitors closet. A warm feeling spread over you as you as you watched him stare down at you with more concern than you’d ever seen on him before in his eyes. Just that look had you shaking your head, hand reaching up to pull his head down to yours and connect your lips once again, the boy humming into your mouth.

“Don’t stop.” Before you’d even finished speaking, Judd has bottomed out in you, balls hitting your ass and tip just about poking at your cervix. The both of you took a moment to deeply breathe in sync, staring at each other as he now placed his arms on either side of your head, noses ever so slightly brushing against each other. It didn’t take long for that painful sting to disappear, and now you just felt full, beginning to grind your hips up in an attempt to create some friction. Judd would tightly grab at your hip, doing his best to hold himself back from moving inside of you. If he could have it his way he’d be pounding you into the mattress by now, not stopping until neither of you would be able to leave the bed, but he wanted this to be a good first time for you. “Please move…” You’d beg desperately. “Want you to move, wanna feel it.”

He’d start off slowly, languidly pulling out, a long moan leaving you, before he thrusted back in, muffling his own moan by biting down into your neck harshly, definitely leaving a mark behind. His fingers bruisingly dug into your skin, rubbing circles as he continued to move back and forth, gradually beginning to pick up his pace. He could feel you squeeze around him with each thrust, the way your body did its best to meet his thrusts. Before he knew it he felt his own release approaching, causing him to stop moving out of panic. “Shit, stop — fucking, stop fucking moving.” He’d grunt.

Your hips would stop their grinding movement against his, worried eyes staring up at him as his own closed, nose scrunching as if in pain. Concern immediately rose within you, had you done something wrong? Did he not like it? This was a stupid idea, why had you done this?-

As if sensing your concern, Judd would lean down and place a kiss to your nose, heavy breaths fanning over your face as he adjusted on his forearms. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s just, you’re so fucking tight, don’t wanna cum too early.” He’d pant against your cheek, placing another gentle kiss there before pulling away to look at you, reassurance in his eyes. “You’re doing so good, taking me perfectly, just relax.” He’d almost coo at you, one hand running through your hair before he slowly began to rock his hips again, shaft leisurely running against your walls, your back once again arching, face contorting with pleasure.

The veins that ran along his shaft caressed each crevice perfectly, as if you’d been made to fit him, tip of his cock kissing your cervix with each slow but harsh push. The two of you moved in sync, your own body more relaxed now, every so often giving him a gentle squeeze as you felt him twitch within you. Judd didn’t really moan, more often just letting out deep grunts and groans or uttering words of encouragement, face hard and focused, small beads of sweat dripping off of him. The moment was almost romantic, intimate, his forehead pressed against yours, eyes not daring to leave each others as your bodies moved as one. One of your hands would join his by the side of your head, fingers interlacing as his pace slowly began to speed up once again.

His hips were snapping into yours eagerly by now, desperately chasing your release as he watched you tense under him, your eyes closed, mouth agape as moans left one after another. This was just like what he’d imagined, if not better. He wanted to take in every pretty expression you had to offer, commit every sound you made to memory incase he didn’t get the chance to hear them again. He could feel his own high building up within him, but he was determined to get you there first, determined to watch you come undone beneath him again.

“Judd! ‘M gonna — gonna cum!…” You’d cry out, and he could feel you shaking beneath him. Before you knew it he’d placed his hands under your knees, pushing your legs up until they were either side of your head, the new position causing you to let out an almost pornographic moan, your head thrown back as the knot within your stomach grew tighter and tighter. The bed would creak with each harsh thrust, sounding as if it could give out at any moment. Within seconds you were coming undone around him, white pleasure clouding your vision as Judd kissed feverishly at your lips, continuing to grind into you as he chased his own high.

Soon enough he was joining you, a low grunt of your name being uttered from his lips as his pace faltered and slowed down, body dropping down on-top of yours. He’d place sloppy kisses along your jaw, hand travelling under your body as his fingers trailed along your spine, helping you to calm down as you whimpered into his ear, body hot and sensitive. The room was once again hot and stuffy, the two of you sweaty, skin sticking to each other as you wound your arms around his neck, enjoying the momentary bliss.

“Wear something that shows off your neck on Monday, want Patrick to see the marks I left on you.” He’d murmur into your skin, nose buried into your hair as he took in your scent, his own muscles relaxing as he pulled out of you, shuddering before throwing the condom into the trash can beside his bed. You could only let our breathless giggles in response, finding the venom in the way he said Patrick’s name amusing, shaking your head and gently slapping at his arm, causing him to growl into you.

You’d fallen asleep wrapped up in Judd’s arms that night, chest pressed tightly against his, nose buried into the crook of his neck as his chin sat on top of your head.

— Judd had rushed downstairs early the next morning, determined to pick up the items of clothing the two of you had previously abandoned before any of his family awoke. So far he’d found both vests, the two pieces located closer to the door, but your bra seemed to be nowhere in sight. Just when he stepped further into the kitchen, he’d spot his mother sat at the counter, a sly grin on her lips, your bra sitting on the marble.

“You’re up early, Judd… Got any plans today?” She’d ask coyly, head tilted to the side. She knew, and she knew he knew that she knew. He’d grunt, halting in-front of her as his eyes flickered between her and the pink bra on the counter.

“No, my friend just — left this the other day, dunno how it got here.” He’d grumble, quickly swiping the bra away and holding it along with the white vests in his hand. His mother would scoff, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of the coffee in her hands.

“Tell (y/n) I hope she enjoyed her stay — and let her know you’ll be driving her home.” She’d state as she watched her son turn away, his face red, fists clenched angrily. Of course he was going to drive you home, did his mom think he was some kind of player? Well, maybe he would be considered one in some terms, but no, he didn’t consider himself to be such a way… And he especially wouldn’t let you take yourself home after last nights events…

Soon enough he’d returned to his room, allowing you to get dressed, watching from his spot on his bed. He’d be lying if he said he was excited for you to leave, he’d enjoyed waking up and watching you sleep beside him, face relaxed, breaths calm. You’d stand awkwardly at the door once you were done, eyes meeting yours as an anxious smile pulled at your lips.

“I’ll see you later? I’m-” You’d trail off. “I’m excited for you to drive me home.” It sounded pathetic, but it was true, and Judd couldn’t help but agree, nodding to you and watching as you left, sneaking back towards Leah’s room in desperate hope she was still asleep. He’d throw his head back, willing sleep to overtake him, but it never came. Instead, thoughts of you popped into his mind, and once again he felt his pants tighten, a frustrated curse leaving his lips as his hand reached down towards his bulge.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

More Judd smut?

More Judd smut yay (,:

Tags: fem! Reader, porn with a little plot?, what the fuck is hormone monster dialogue, everyone is horny fr, Nick and Andrew are creeps, but also scared of Judd, and very curious, questionable babysitting?, smoking, participating in the act of “getting stoned”, smoking inside, use of the word simp un-ironically, Judd gives super useless dating advice, not so safe sex, please use protection! please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with smut(,:

Summary: you and Judd are the designated babysitters for the night.

Read my OG Judd story? Here

Author’s note: hi gang (,: I remember when I was like “mental illness funny haha” but it’s really not funny anymore 🥹 I know I disappear all the time,, and I don’t even wanna apologize this time lol. But anyways, this has been brewing in my docs for like MONTHS and now I’ve come back, humbly offering you another Judd smut since the other one is surprisingly popular. Eat well, my children

The one where Judd gives dating advice

4,4K words

(Note, Judd is so cute and I love him :,)

“I don’t care about those horny little shits, I’m just saying they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want. I don’t want my pissstain of a brother hanging around you, your sister is also fucking weird—“ 

You gently elbowed him. “—You’re fucking weird, Judd. And the kids aren’t really that bad, you’re a bit dramatic, babe,” you said, and he angrily grumbled something in response as he slammed the microwave shut. The microwave made a noise, and you watched the third batch of popcorn slowly expand and start to pop. 

Unfortunately for Judd, your parents had collectively decided to go out the day you had promised him a date. Mr and Mrs Birch got a coupon for a recently opened Thai restaurant and decided to invite yours, Missy’s and Andrew’s parents out for dinner, making you the designated babysitter of the night. Leah had ditched the whole ordeal, and Judd was planning to ditch as well until you sent him a picture of your tits and told him he could still come over if he behaved. 

With Maury clouding his judgement, there was no fucking way he could say no to that. 

So now, he was stuck making popcorn for a bunch of middle schoolers. Not to mention he had a pretty bad track record with the kids, they were all absolutely terrified of him. Except of course Jessie, who was deeply in love with him. He grunted in annoyance, turning around to face you with his arms crossed over his chest. 

He had been muttering complaints under his breath ever since you started setting up for the movie. He was absolutely livid that the kids stole away his one-on-one private time with his girlfriend, but for you (and your boobs) he tried to somewhat restrain himself. 

“Judd, baby, look at me,” you stepped out in front of him, reaching up and gently rubbing his cheek, forcing his attention on you. “I know this is not ideal. But, if you play nice, I have a little something for you when the kids go to bed,” you purred, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed your waist, kneading the soft flesh in his big hands. Even though he looked intimidating as all hell, not to mention he absolutely towered over you, he was wrapped around your pinky finger. 

He leaned down and buried his face in your neck. “It better be good, slut..” he grunted, brushing his lips over your neck. You slapped the back of his head, feeling him frown against your skin. “I said behave, bitch-boy.” Your tone was sharp, and he knew not to push you any further. 

“Fine, alright. Whatever.” He grumbled, hugging you closer to his body. 

-

It was precisely 7’oclock when the kids arrived. Jessie was still in her room, not wanting to hang out with you and Judd alone; she had refused to come out after your parents left. 

Surprisingly, Judd was the first at the door. He grinned evilly. “Welcome to purgatory, you little shits.” He said, looking down at the 8th graders menacingly. “Bitch! Your sister's dumb friends are here!” He called over his shoulder. 

You huffed audibly. “Are you gonna let them in or what, numbnuts?” You called back to him, pouring the last packet of popcorn into a bowl. 

He frowned and stepped aside, letting the now pretty frightened kids inside. Missy walked in first, smiling nervously at Judd, then came Andrew and Nick. 

Nick was about to step inside, when Judd put a hand on his shoulder. The younger boy stopped dead in his tracks, praying to whatever god he could think of that his brother would let him off easy. “I didn’t do anything! Judd, I swear, please let me go!” He shouted, voice breaking multiple times.

A ghost of a smirk crossed Judd’s face. “Don’t try shit, or I will rip your tiny dick off and force it down your throat. Got it, asslicker?” 

Nick swallowed thickly, frantically nodding his head. Of course Judd had picked up on his brother's crush on you, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Y-You got it, Judd!” He confirmed, panicked chuckles escaping him. 

“Judd. Let him inside.” You stomped up to them, looking so livid you scared Judd back into being nice as you crossed your arms over your chest. Nick looked away quickly, a pink flush covering his face and neck. 

Judd pushed Nick inside with a frown, once again not being able to refuse you. The kids looked on in bewilderment as the intimidating teen seemed to slightly cower under your glare, complying to your will. He looked down at them with something akin to shame, before following after you like a lost puppy.

The kids were in complete shock. Had Judd been fucking possesed?

You called out to Jessie, telling her to come out of her room, before dragging Judd back into the kitchen. 

-

“Y/nnn! Can you start the movie already?” Jessie whined loudly.

A bit of shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. ”I-In a minute! We’re just fixing some drinks!” You called out, voice slightly shaky.

“.. do you really think they’re getting drinks?” Missy asked, after an agonising minute of silence. The kids sat stiffly on the couch. 

You had told them to make themselves at home, but none of them were able to really calm down with Judd in the house. 

Jessie scoffed. “Does it sound like they’re getting drinks? My sister's kind of a slut if you haven’t noticed.” She spat. 

Nick rolled his eyes. “So is Judd.” 

The two of them weren’t able to get over their jealousy of your relationship, somehow not yet registering that they didn’t stand a chance with high schoolers. 

“Come on guys, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Missy said nervously, glancing at the kitchen door. 

“Jessie, do you think it’s possible I can get a glass of milk? I feel very dehydrated right now,” Andrew muttered, wringing his hands. 

Jessie sighed and Nick immediately began explaining in detail how Judd would murder him. But ultimately, after a long and intense discussion, the kids decided to venture into the kitchen.

-

“You promised to be nice,” You said over your shoulder, holding Judd’s hand as you pulled him to the kitchen. 

“I am nice.” He huffed, letting go of your hand and instead reaching out to grab your waist. He gently lifted you, setting you down on the counter top before stepping in between your legs. For a moment you thought he would lead it somewhere, but your face morphed into a gentle smile when he buried his face in your neck, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. 

You softly stroked his hair, making the angry agent of chaos visibly relax as he melted into your touch. “You didn’t even last ten seconds,” You muttered, immediately recognizing his actions as jealousy.

He breathed out against your neck, and you couldn’t help but softly laugh at the tingly feeling. “It was nice enough for me to make the popcorn, do you want me to fucking hand feed them too?” He grumbled, straightening up so he could glare down at you. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down there, Mr. grumpy-pants. All I ask is that you remain civil for the night, or at least until the movie’s over,” You gave him your very best puppy dog eyes, reaching up to gently brush your hands over his jaw again. Reluctantly, he leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his angry glare. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how absolutely soft he was for you. Your touch calmed him like no other, not even horror movies or tormenting the neighbourhood made him feel as gleeful as when you touched him. 

He hummed in response, not really registering what you said, too focused on your touch. His own hands travelled from your waist to your thighs, gently squeezing. You let out a soft little sigh and instantly Maury appeared. 

‘What? What’d I miss? You’re gonna fuck?’ The hormone monster asked, observing the situation. ‘Oooh! You should totally have a quickie, let’s see how many fingers you can stuff in her before the kids find out!’ He grinned, shaking Judd by the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up.” Judd growled, making Maury let out a series of horse laughs. ‘Oh ho ho ho! At least get a good feel of her boob, we need something to get through the movie!’ He said dramatically, before patting Judd’s head and walking off in search of new entertainment. 

Judd thought about it for a moment, before slowly sliding his right hand up your tummy until he could palm one of your tits. 

“Judd,” You said, placing your hand over the one he had on your chest, but not removing it. “You gotta behave, alright? Just for tonight. And you can touch aaall you want after, I promise,” You said, finishing the sentence with a long kiss to his cheek. 

“Fuck. Okay, fine.” He relented, removing his hand from your boob and intertwining his fingers with yours instead. He leaned in, pressing a series of wet kisses to your jaw and neck. 

You hummed happily, half closing your eyes until you caught movement somewhere over Judd’s shoulders. You immediately straightened up, opening your eyes fully only to make eye contact with four completely stupefied middle schoolers. 

The kids were too stunned to speak, literally.

Andrew was stammering incoherently, Nick seemed to find the ceiling very interesting, Missy and Jessi had both turned completely red in face but for very different reasons. 

“Oh. Hello,” You said awkwardly, pushing Judd away and jumping off the counter quickly. 

Your boyfriend in question let out a disappointed grunt, murderously glaring down the kids but keeping quiet. You all stood in complete silence for a few, agonisingly long seconds, until Andrew finally spoke up.

Still wringing his hands, the preteen stepped slightly closer to you. “Y/n, I’m very sorry to interrupt. But could I maybe get a glass of milk? It would really help with my nervous stomach—“ You cut him off before he could go into further detail about his digestive system and smiled warmly at him. 

“—Of course. Why don’t you follow Judd back into the living room, he’ll start the movie for you and then I’ll be right out. Okay?”   

If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under. 

Judd bore holes through your back with his eyes, as you turned to open the fridge. “O-okay! Once again, thank you Y/n,” Andrew said, seemingly relieved.

Slowly the kids turned to walk out the kitchen, drizzling out one after the other. Jessi bore a somewhat mischievous smile, walking a bit slower on purpose in hopes she could walk next to Judd. Your boyfriend sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms and following after the kids. He was slowly coming to realise that he had no other choice, than to be a slave for a gang of middle schoolers. 

The kids were again stiffly seated on the couch, this time with Judd sitting in the far end. Jessie had glued herself to his side, shamelessly sitting as close to him as possible. He was sure he would accidentally hit her if he moved his arm just the slightest.

He was holding the remote, quickly flicking through movies on netflix as the kids fought over what to watch. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked. “I’ll find you a good movie,” And by “good movie'' he meant the absolutely goriest horror flick netflix had to offer. 

Judd grinned sinisterly as he chose a movie, looking over to see the kids all sporting comically shocked expressions. 

Andrew carefully glanced at Judd. “Excuse me, Judd, but are you sure this movie is suitable for children?” He asked. 

“Y-yeah. Doesn’t that say you have to be sixteen..? My mom said I shouldn’t watch scary movies until I feel ready,” Missy added.

Nick didn’t say anything. He was scared enough of his brother already to disagree openly with him, and he also didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Jessi. 

“It’s about time you little pussies grow up. Be quiet and just watch the fucking movie,” Judd said, as mischievously as his monotone voice would allow him to sound. 

Jessi nodded gravely. “Yeah, guys. Shut up. It’s just a movie,” She said, looking up at Judd with big eyes for approval. He only grunted, pressing start on the remote. 

Within the first few minutes, Andrew and Nick were clinging to each other. Missy was curled in on herself, watching the movie through her spread fingers. Judd grinned evilly, satisfied with his choice as he started digging through his pockets.

He was quick to dig up a lighter and half a blunt. A bloody jumpscare in the movie made Jessi jerk and grab onto Judd’s arm, slightly shaking. He sighed deeply, annoyed, but let it slide. He lit the blunt, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back as he inhaled deeply. 

“Judd, I told you not to smoke inside,” You grumbled, returning to the living room with drinks and even more popcorn. Judd raised his head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Shut up,” He simply said, gesturing to the way Jessi was clinging to him. 

You had to stifle a laugh, quickly setting the snacks on the coffee table and handing the milk to Andrew, who reached out to take it with a shaky hand, refusing to look at the tv.

Upon noticing the lack of space on the couch, Judd beckoned you to his lap. You happily sat down, Jessi giving you a disturbed look as your body gently pushed hers away. 

“What the hell are we even watching?” You asked, Judd shrugged. “Dunno. Summer camp massacre something,” He said, handing you the blunt as you got comfortable on his lap. 

You took a long drag, nuzzling into Judd as his hands came down to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Guys,” Missy suddenly whispered, eyes glued to you and Judd. “Is that.. Marijuana.. As in drugs?”

Judd chuckled, you could feel him move beneath you as you struggled to keep from laughing yourself. 

You said the only appropriate answer you could scrape from your brain; “Well.. Yeah.” 

Missy’s eyes grew to sorcerers. “You can’t do that! Marijuana is a gateway drug! It could mess up your brain- Oh fudge! It could mess up my brain from inhaling secondhand!” 

This time you couldn’t conceal your giggle, handing the blunt back to Judd as you leaned forward. You smiled softly at the younger. “Don’t worry about it, Missy. You’re way too smart to be corrupted by secondhand smoke,” You said. Missy nodded reluctantly, a small smile appearing on her face as she accepted the compliment.

“Mom will actually kill you,” Jessi mumbled and you fondly ruffled her hair. “She won’t if you keep your mouth shut.” You teased, as she scowled at you. Her eyes quickly left yours, to blatantly stare at Judd as he blew clouds of smoke out his nose. He truly looked like an angry dragon, staring at the movie screen with furrowed brows. 

Jessi went bright red, looking away immediately when Judd turned to meet her gaze. You grinned, ruffling her hair again before relaxing back into your boyfriend. Judd gave another annoyed grumble, but soon relaxed himself. 

Somehow, the kids managed to be quiet for the duration of the movie as you finished the blunt and most of the snacks.

Jessi fell asleep against you, having ended up clutching your hand for safety (probably from the masked killer on screen). Missy fell asleep against Andrew, the two huddled in a pile. Nick had slid down from the couch, attempting to hide from the movie but ending up sleeping under the coffee table.

By the time credits came on screen, you and Judd were the only ones awake. Pleasantly hazy from the smoke session, you turned your head to smile at him.

“You were so good. I like nice Judd,” You muttered, leaning up to press a soft, slow kiss to his lips. 

He immediately deepened the kiss, claiming his price. In a horny daze, his hands migrated to your butt and his tongue invaded your mouth. You sighed, a bit too loudly and let your own hands wander. Over his shoulders, rubbing down his chest and abdomen till eventually they rested just over his belt. 

The hiss that escaped him as your hands pressed to his crotch, definitely did not go unnoticed and you responded in kind by moving from his lips, messily gliding wet kisses down his jaw and neck. You bit him playfully, but still hard enough to leave indents in his perfectly smooth neck. 

‘Oooh, baby!’ Right on time, Connie appeared at your side. She purred like a cat, curling around you and Judd on the couch. ‘Why don’t you hurry and jump right on up on that delicious dick of his? You know he can make you feel reeeeeaaaal good,’ She drawled.

Barely acknowledging her, you dumbly nodded in agreement. 

‘Hurry, dumpling! Don’t got much time before the kiddies wake up,’ She urged you, poking Jessi with a long fingernail, and indeed, your sister was starting to stir. 

You could only let out a frustrated huff. Judd had your hair fisted in one hand and your hip clutched tightly in the other, helping you rut yourself against his growing bulge in long, hazy strokes. He felt good, you felt good, everything felt so, so good and moving away from the heavenly friction could not be more of a bother. 

You leaned forward a bit, which came with resistance considering his tight grip on your hair, and whined lowly in his ear. 

Gently, you nosed at his cheek. “Judd.. the kitchen. C’mon,” You breathed.

He retaliated by grinding up into you, much harder than before, allowing you to feel the entirety of his now, very hard, length. You moaned loudly in response. 

“We need to.. the kitchen— they’re waking up,” It was a difficult task to form the right words, with the increased amount of pleasure, so you scratched his shoulders, gently, to get your point across. 

Leaning in, he captured your lips in a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with such fervour your head was spinning. He let go, biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it back before pulling away completely. 

“Stupid fucking kids,” He gritted, tongue swiping over his lips, plump from kissing. 

Heaving, you bit your bottom lip and batted your eyelashes at him in a most sultry display that was sure to make Connie proud. A sinister grin spread across his face, when he got an idea and he let go of your hair in favour of kneading your ass in both his hands.

“I’ll fuck you on the table, slut, be grateful.” It was a demand, but you didn’t mind because right at that moment, nothing truly sounded more pleasing than getting railed on the dining table in your mothers kitchen. 

A shudder went through you at the thought, warmth slushing in your belly and still, you grinned coyly at him. “Only because you were so well behaved. I’m starting to think you actually like them, Juddy-Wuddy?” You said, motioning to the four kids as you cooed at him. 

You got him with that one. Watching with glee as his jaw clenched and he sent you a look that could only mean one of two things; he was going to kill you or plow you until you could no longer walk. You highly suspected the latter.

Your boyfriend scoffed. “It’s almost cute how damn smart you think you are, huh? You fucking bitch.” He glowered. He despised when you called him that, one of the many terrible nicknames you had overheard his mom call him, and he always fell right into your trap. 

Before you could start to respond, he was rising from the couch, hands manoeuvring under your thighs to lift you up with him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, legs tighter around his waist to keep his clothed cock pressed up against your core, and nuzzled your face into his neck. 

His hands were warm on your thighs, so big they almost covered them entirely when he spread his fingers. You latched onto his neck again, engraving lots of little purple marks, just how he liked it. 

His response came as a strained grunt, as he barreled into the kitchen and dropped you on the corner dining table. 

The table was cold, you squealed as your thighs dragged along the cool surface and Judd wasted no time, leaning over you and pushing your skirt up to expose your panties. 

A sinister grin spread across his face when he found your panties were already damp and soaked, his award for being a prime example of a boyfriend this evening.

You bucked your hips, mewling for attention and hoping he would be quick to relieve you of the throbbing between your thighs. 

He laughed, low and husky as he watched you writhe on the table beneath him. Your lips were swollen and plump, a deep blush covered your cheeks and your hair was messily spread out over the table’s surface. His dick ached.

‘Boi-oi-oi-oing!’ Maury was right behind him, a wild smile split his face and he let his tongue hang out, looking more like a rabid dog than a hormone monster. 

‘C’mon! Shove your fist inside her, she obviously wants it!’ Maury barked, shaking Judd by the shoulders. The teen shook him off, grumbling a threat as he returned to the task at hand. 

You heaved in a breath, tongue coming out to wet your lips again. “Judd, I swear to god, do something—“ You pleaded, desperately. 

“— have patience. And shut the fuck up.” Judd grunted, long fingers creeping towards the wet patch on your panties. Then, he pressed down, right in the middle of the wetness where your much neglected clit sat.

Gasping, you reached out to grasp his bicep. He pressed down again, keeping his thump there and swirling it in circles. You gasped and whined his name softly, the wet fabric glided over your most sensitive part so well it was hard to think about keeping quiet. 

He was quick to silence you with a kiss, however, as his left hand finally, finally, left the wet patch to pull your panties off. You helped him shake them off, too focused with the cool air blowing on your hot core to notice how he crumbled up your panties and stuffed them in his back pocket. 

You begged for him again, whines disappearing into his open mouth as he kept it slotted over yours. 

He shushed you, putting his weight on his right hand as he leaned in further between your legs, suddenly stuffing two fingers into you, in one smooth motion. You cried out so loudly and desperately that not even Judd’s wet kisses could conceal it, he gave you another rough thrust of his fingers in retaliation.

Your eyes were half closed, lips forming an ‘o’ as he pulled away from your mouth to bite at your neck. His fingers reached a depth that your own could not, hitting a softer, mushier spot in your pussy that had you seeing stars each time. He was so rough with his thrusts too, working quickly and effectively to bring you to ecstasy and making the table rattle slightly. You could only pray that the slight scraping on the tiled kitchen floor could not be heard in the living room.

What was much louder, however, were your own loud gasps and breathy moans of your boyfriend's name. The closer you got, the louder your pleas became. 

Judd bit your neck again, hard enough to turn the skin purple. “I said, be quiet, bitch.” He groaned into your neck, panting slightly as the pace of his hand increased. 

You tried, but really couldn’t. The lewd squelching sound and the rapid stroking of his two fingers against your g-spot had you mewling and bucking against him. And it certainly didn’t help, when his thumb pressed down on your clit as well. 

His slender fingers didn’t create much of a stretch, but you knew he was preparing you for his monstrous cock and because his fingers were so deliciously long the waiting time was never disappointing. 

You could vaguely hear Connie bustling about in the background, shouting her encouragement and coaxing you to tell Judd all sorts of lewd things. You didn’t listen, you couldn’t when you were so, so close to your breaking point. 

With your body on fire, liquid pleasure in your veins, your toes curled and you tilted your head to allow Judd better access to the unmarked parts of it. He graciously took the opportunity, returning his grip on your head to position you just how he wanted.

Your thighs clenched around Judd’s arm, lip trembling as your eyes crossed in pleasure. “Judd..!” 

And then he was pulling away, you whined desperately in the process, only to be silenced with a large hand slapped across your mouth. 

“I told you to be quiet, bitch.” He snarled, his voice now so deep and feral it made you shiver. He squeezed your cheeks together, a bit of drool escaped your mouth and smeared on his hand, as he pulled you to a sitting position. “Didn’t I?”

Your pussy throbbed, clenching around nothing at both the rough treatment and being so suddenly void of stimulation. 

With your cheeks squished together, you couldn’t respond, so you opted for frantically nodding your head, softly whining out for him. You needed him inside you, and it had to be now. 

You rutted yourself against the table, slick following you and making a trail on the wooden surface, it felt good, but definitely not as good as Judd’s cock would feel. 

“Pw-pf..a..e.. Pwase!” You begged him, hands wandering towards his belt, feeling him up and unbuckling his belt buckle. You gasped quietly, he was so hard it had to hurt and the feeling of him pressed to your palm made you clench around nothing again. Despite the layers of clothes between you. 

He moaned, but reached down to gather both wrists in his free hand and pinning them together. “You think you think you deserve that? After all the fucking noise you made?” 

You cried out and nodded. Judd grinned sinisterly. “You’re so pathetic, you little slut. You know that?” 

You wanted to kick him, or at least insult him back but the throbbing in your cunt and the fact that his words only made that throb so much worse, made it quite hard to do so. 

Then, he leaned in, resting his chin on top of your head and inhaled your hair deeply. “You’re my little slut.” He grunted and, oh, you could have cum right there. 

You nuzzled into him, burying your head where his neck became his chest and started leaving small, wet kisses. 

He didn’t let go of either your wrists or mouth, instead he barked one simple order; “Off.” and brought your bound wrists towards his crotch again. 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately getting to work and shoving both his pants and underwear as far down as your position would allow you to grab at his dick. 

Hissing in pleasure, he pulled you closer to him. He was throbbing and warm in your hand, heavy and so swollen the head had almost turned purple, you tried lifting yourself up, tried to get just the tiniest bit of friction. 

You pumped him slowly, he was sticky with pre-cum already and he dropped his head into your hair again, burying his face into you with a strained groan. He, too, was close to his breaking point.

Letting your wrists and cheeks free, he opted to grab under both your hips, lifting them up to hover above his dick. You let go of him, fingers coming to scratch at the table as he did the remainder of work for you and you fell back on the table. 

“This what you want?” He grunted, thrusting experimentally and nudging his cockhead against your swollen little pearl. 

“Yes.. yes, yes! Please, Judd, it hurts, I need it..!” You blabbered, cheeks puffy and face screwed up as you felt your empty pussy ache with anticipation. Only your boyfriend's dick could ease the twang in your lower belly. 

He inhaled sharply through his nose, face set in stone and brows drawn together as he finally thrusted into you, filling you so completely in that one thrust, that you suddenly felt too full. 

The bit of pain from the wide stretch you felt melted into white-hot pleasure almost as soon as it appeared and when Judd pressed a bit more into you, his hip bones meeting yours, you came instantly. 

You cried out, overwhelmed by the sudden and immense pleasure. Judd cursed, rather loudly and tried pressing further into you, holding you flush against him as you clenched uncontrollably around him. You were even tighter now, so tight it almost hurt and so he waited for you to ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily. 

“Shit.. fuck you! Ah!” He nearly whined at the feeling, blunt nails digging into the plush flesh on your hips. 

Panting, sobbing and sighing, you slowly came down from your orgasm, not at all ready when Judd suddenly started thrusting again. You were already overstimulated, but the wide stretch and feeling of his cock inside felt so heavenly.

You couldn’t help the never-ending mantra of his name that escaped you, matching each of his violent thrusts. He wanted you to feel him as deep as possible, you knew, and he made sure of it. Leaning in over you to hit you at a deeper angle, pressing down on your belly as he fucked you to see himself bulging through. 

“Judd, m’so full,” You slurred, digging your nails into his shoulders, as deep as they would go. He grunted a response, sweat gathering on his dark brows; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” He was strained as he spoke, teeth clenched and warm breath fanning your face.

Then, he squeezed under your thighs again, sliding you towards the edge of the table. “Spread your legs.” He demanded gravelly, and you easily complied. He pressed himself to you further, barely pulling out after each thrust, but doubling the force in which he thrusted. 

The table scraped loudly against the floor, you whimpered and tried to quiet yourself, face heating as the room filled with squelching sounds that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination, should anyone overhear. 

Already, you started to tighten around him again, your thighs quivered as you did your best to keep them apart. Judd noticed almost immediately, bringing his thumb down upon your puffy clit. 

“C’mon pretty girl, cum for me again,” He panted and you followed suit, before you could cry out, though, he captured your lips with his own, chest pressed to yours. 

You sobbed into his mouth as his tongue licked flames into you, clutching him to you. His thrusts became irregular, driving you into the table until he couldn’t hold out anymore. He moved to pull out, but you stopped him, keeping him pressed against you. “Don’t.. they’ll see— in-inside.” You panted into his mouth, and almost immediately felt a slush of warm liquid fill your lower belly. 

Judd grit his teeth tightly, jaw fully clenching and breath heaving. His green eyes were dark and glazed, he straightened up a little, raising himself on his forearms to look down at you. 

You were drooling slightly, makeup a bit smudged as you laid out on the table, revelling in the feeling of complete satisfaction and Judd’s cum filling you.

He waited a while to pull out, watching with interest as your tummy swelled ever so slightly from the combining force of his dick and his spend. 

“You’re fucking horrible at being quiet,” He eventually stated.

You puffed out your cheeks, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It wasn’t me who made the table move,” you countered.

Judd’s hands ventured up your back, holding you to him. “You whine like a bitch in heat,” He countered, monotonously, in the most endearing way he could possibly put it. Because honestly, he loved the sounds you made. 

Maury clapped him on the back and barked something at him, reminding him that the two of you were indeed not alone and he pulled out of you. You sighed as he slipped out, feeling your combined liquids leak out a bit as well. 

He was quick to pull his pants and boxers up, turning from you to fetch a roll of paper towels. As he always did, he insisted on cleaning up for you. 

You had asked him about it once, getting the lame response of; “I like to keep my things clean.” 

Fixing your skirt to cover yourself, you found that your panties were nowhere in sight and fixed Judd a look. 

Your boyfriend shrugged. “This is your house, just get another pair.” You blew a raspberry at him. “I’m actually gonna run out of underwear because of you.” 

He didn’t care, it was quite obvious, so you kissed his jaw and jumped from the table, to get yourself a new pair. Judd didn’t miss his chance to roughly squeeze your ass as you walked past him. 

-

Nick awoke to a strange sound. The loudest being the scraping of something on the floor, then he heard you cry, loud and continually as though you were in pain. 

Immediately he sat up. The room was dark and the tv static, he drowsily looked around, his four friends sleeping soundly on the couch. Andrew moved his foot, coincidentally pinning Nick down with it. Groggily, he sighed and pushed Andrew off him. 

He swayed a bit as he stood up, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them. His brother and you weren’t anywhere to be seen, the spot where you previously was sitting now occupied by Jessi, sleeping in a starfish position. 

That was when he heard the sound again, the scraping and then the desperate gasping. This time, though, he heard his brother’s raspy voice as well. What the hell was going on?

‘Judd and Y/n are wrestling,’ Suddenly his temporary hormone monster, Tyler emerged from the kitchen with a disturbed look. 

“What?” Nick was way too tired to process something like that. 

‘They’re rolling around on the table! Like this!’ Tyler got on top of the coffee table, and started intimidating something that definitely did not look like wrestling.

Tyler noticed Nick’s confused expression. ‘Yeah! And she keeps crying and saying his name— like, like this!’ The monster proceeded to do an utmost terrible impression of you calling for Judd and Nick cringed. ‘— and then, Judd told her to shut up and called her a slut! I think he’s gonna get her in a chokehold. I wouldn’t put my money on Y/n, though, she’s not even trying to fight him off—‘

“— Yeah, I don’t think they’re wrestling, Tyler.” Nick deadpanned, cutting the deity short. He felt his face grow increasingly red, as your sounds grew. Now, even he could hear you beg Judd for all sorts of lewd things. 

‘Oh.’ Tyler blinked a couple of times. Nick shivered, he definitely did not need to hear his brother bone his girlfriend (on whom he had a crush) or explain the situation to his hormone monster. 

The two of them remained in uncomfortable silence for a while, Nick pacing back and forth to clear his head of any inappropriate thoughts that Tyler was coaxing him into, once he had figured out the situation. 

Eventually, Nick settled on waking Andrew. 

“Andrew,” He pushed his friend and whispered again. “C’mon, wake up, Andrew,” 

The latter mumbled something incoherent, adjusting his glasses in his sleep. Nick groaned and shook him, not relenting. “I never peed in that pool!” Andrew woke up shouting, and Nick tumbled back in surprise. 

“What?” Nick hissed. Andrew looked about wide eyed, seemingly as groggy as Nick. “I— what?” Andrew repeated. He blinked at his friend slowly, not yet aware of the circumstances. 

He pulled Andrew from the couch, and put a hand over his mouth. “Listen,” He whispered, and watched as his friend's expression turned from annoyed, to confused, to very very startled. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god!” Andrew stammered. Nick removed his hand. “Is that— are they?” His head snapped from Nick to the kitchen entrance and back again. 

The shorter nodded once, stiffly. “What do we— do we do anything? We could go back to sleep before Judd— oh god, what if they find out we heard?”

Nick turned to his panicking friend, determination clear in his eyes. “We need to go see for ourselves.” 

Andrew’s eyes grew impossibly larger, to the size of sorcerers. “What? No! No, no, normally I come up with those kinda terrible ideas— are you okay, Nick?” He put a clammy hand to Nick’s forehead, fauxingly checking his temperature.

Nick clicked his tongue, annoyed, and waved his friend’s hands away. “Think, Andrew! You have a crush on Y/n, I have a crush on Y/n, haven't you imagined her like that a lot of times, anyway? We can just look, really quickly,” 

“Uuhh, I— I don’t know,” He stammered, eyes flicking to the kitchen door. 

Nick sighed. “I’m going to go look.” His statement was final, as he marched off. Andrew wrung his hands, definitely not unaware of his own desire to see what his two designated babysitters were up to, and his legs seemed to follow after Nick all by themselves. 

The two stopped by the door, neither daring to actually peek inside yet. 

“Judd, m’so full,” 

Both boys stiffened at the sound of your voice, breathy and begging and definitely not how you usually spoke to them. 

Then, Judd grunted; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” Followed up by a harsh command of; “Spread your legs.”

Nick swallowed, and Tyler pushed him further towards the door, squealing at him to look. Suddenly, his previous courage had completely disintegrated and he looked at Andrew, panicked.

The other was just as alarmed, sweat beating his forehead as the scraping sounds picked up and they realised the weight of the situation. 

They stood there for a while, completely perplexed, having been so scared off by your vulgar statements that neither dared to move. Andrew shut his eyes tightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he heard Maury in the room as well. He was barking orders at Judd, all of which went completely ignored, and cheering the two of you on.

Then, after what felt like aeons, the noise quieted down and the two preteens listened as you had a quiet conversation. Judd was way less mean, when he talked to you in private, they both noted. Only when you went off to get another pair of briefs, did they realise their mistake. But it was too late for them to move, instead they both stood there with rapidly beating hearts, faces bathed in red with sheepish expressions as you exited the room. 

You stuck your head out the entrance first, yelling in surprise when you caught sight of the two boys. “Oh my god.” You breathed, then realising that they probably heard most of what just went on.

Caught red handed, you couldn’t bear to look neither of them in the eyes. You straightened, quickly walking past them and holding your skirt tightly around your bottom. 

Levelling your voice the best you could, you called to them over your shoulder; “Judd’s in the kitchen, if you need anything,” You squeaked, bounding upstairs to your room before they could properly take in your dishevelled appearance. 

Nick panicked, now they had to go in the kitchen, or suspicion would surely arise. He grabbed onto Andrew’s sleeve, willing his legs to move and take the final few steps into the kitchen.

Into the dragon's den, where Judd, the dragon resided. 

“H-hi. Judd.” Nick stammered. Judd had his back to them, raiding the fridge for anything to drink. You had only stocked up on diet sodas.

The older teen acknowledged them with a grunt, not bothering to turn before his drink-mission was complete. The two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of your kitchen, waiting for whatever reign of terror Judd would have prepared for them; but none came. 

Judd slammed the fridge door shut, and to their total surprise, threw each boy a Diet Coke. “Need anything else?” He drawled, sauntering to the table and slumping down in a chair. He opened a coke for himself and got comfortable in his chair, downing almost the entire can in one go. 

Andrew and Nick shared a glance, and simultaneously inched towards the table. The two of them sat down quietly, still waiting for Judd to scare them away. 

But he was completely out of character, for once, he looked kinda relaxed. Albeit a bit sweaty and tousled, but as calm as Nick had ever seen his older brother. His eyes lingered on Judd’s neck, where he bore a collection of teeth indents, smudges from your lipstick and hickeys.

The three sat in silence for a bit, listening as the light under the cabinets buzzed and eventually Judd got up to fetch another soda. 

“You want any more?” He asked the two, and they politely declined. He shrugged and returned to the table with a new can. 

Nick fiddled with the top of his can, eyes flitting around the room nervously. “Judd. Can I ask you a question?” He dared not look up as he spoke, keeping his eyes planted on the table.

Judd grunted, his way of saying ‘go ahead.’

“Why are you being so nice to us?” The question visibly caught Judd a bit off guard, he stopped drinking for a brief moment, thinking the question over before his stoic exterior returned. 

“Y/n wants me to be nice to you. She likes you small assholes,” He shrugged. 

Andrew looked at the older bewildered. “Y/n told you to be nice to us?” He asked, voice cracking as if he couldn’t believe his own ears. 

Judd frowned. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” He snapped.

Andrew swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah. Sorry,” 

“But— I mean, why? She’s not even here, and, you usually don’t listen to anyone,” Nick was unrelenting, now past the point of caring if Judd would beat him up for asking questions. 

A pregnant pause wove through the room, as Judd thought about the question. He still looked considerably less angry than usual, but his features were set in a frown and his brows drew together and made it look like he was planning something sinister. 

“I do what she says because I love her.” He said eventually, glaring off into space as he thought his answer over.

Neither of the two boys could believe their ears. The Judd Birch had just declared his love publicly. It must have been the post-nut clarity. 

When they failed to respond, he continued on; “Sometimes you gotta do dumb shit, even if it’s fucking annoying, to keep a girl.” He mumbled, still deep in thought. Had the situation been different, Nick would have found it quite funny to hear Judd talk about such tender things in his gruff voice. 

Andrew leaned over the table, adjusting his glasses. “Is— Is that how you get a girlfriend?” 

At that, the corners of Judd’s lips moved upwards ever so slightly. He turned fully to them, a wicked look in his eyes. “That’s how you get laid, numbnuts.” 

Then Nick cut in; “But what after? What if I like this girl, and I really wanna touch her boobs, but I also want to talk to her. I mean just talk. Because she’s smart, and funny, and really nice,” 

Judd dug through his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and opened the window on the wall behind him. He stuck one between his lips, and offered the pack up to the boys. 

“We’re twelve.”

Judd merely shrugged and lit his own cigarette. “If you wanna touch her tits, you gotta talk to her first. And don’t be a little creep. Charm her and shit,” He explained. 

Nick deadpanned. “Charm her?” Judd was everything but charming. It would forever remain the greatest mystery to him, how his brother managed to pull any girls at all. 

Andrew pushed up his glasses. “Actually, what Judd is saying is true. You need to make her feel as if you care about her—“ 

“—I do care about her!” Nick protested. 

Judd flicked a bit of his cigarette off over the window still. “Then it’s easy. Just talk to her, pussy.” He inhaled a long drag. “If she’s into small pricks, you’ll be just her type.”

The younger pouted. “Not funny, Judd.”

Judd cackled, lowly, sinisterly. “Then, how do you know if a girl likes you?” Andrew asked. 

“She lets you touch her tits.” 

Nick sighed. “C’mon, Judd! There has to be more to it— I mean, you have a girlfriend, so you obviously know.”

The eldest grunted and exhaled smoke through his nose. He thought for a bit before replying; “I was at a party, and I saw this girl, Y/n, and she was really fucking hot. Is really fucking hot,” He fixed the two middle schoolers a pointed look. “So I talked to her, turns out she’s really fucking sweet too. And when you meet a girl like that, all the rest comes naturally,” He finished his explanation, a bit smug as the two boys looked at him in wonder. 

“Not to offend, b—but haven’t you dated lots of girls? How’d you do that?” Andrew asked. 

Judd put his cigarette out in his, now empty, coke can. “Sure I have. You can also just fuck girls, but it’s a lot more fun if you like them,” He said. 

“How do I do that, then? Do I have to talk to her too, even if I don’t like her?” Andrew was a bit eager now, but Nick had to admit that he was also itching for answers. 

“No matter what, you gotta talk to her. Maybe not for long, and if you just wanna fuck, you have to say the right things,” He said, and then quickly added. “But don’t do that. I don’t want you two turning into little dicks,” 

“Then.. What if you’re already friends with her?” It was a bit of a jump in topic, but Nick had to get answers, and right now was probably the only time he had the opportunity to ask. 

Judd snorted. “You want to fuck one of your friends out there?” He cackled, motioning to the living room. 

Nick turned red very quickly. “No.” 

“Fuck, you’re a little simp!” The eldest was finding Nick’s personal troubles a little too funny, and he huffed, glaring at his brother. “But all the rules still apply. Be charming, talk to her, and don’t be a creep.” Judd eventually added, nodding at his brother. 

“Thank you, Judd.” Nick muttered, and he meant it. 

“Yeah, thank you, Judd,” Andrew echoed. 

Judd grunted. “Yeah, whatever. But don’t, ever, spy on me and Y/n again. I mean it. Or I will gut both of you like fucking fish.”

Hi, hello,, thank you of making it this far!

Originally, I wanted to label this “16+ do not interact if you’re younger” but honestly I ate shit like this tf UP when I was 13 💀 idk if I made Judd a little too OOC, sorry big mouth writers ☹️✋ I hope you enjoyed, though

Small rant + update; tumblr has been acting up on my phone lately, idk what I did to make it so laggy lately, but I have to post from my computer now ),: ALSO I’m so mad I keep forgetting that the cursive I make in Google docs doesn’t work in tumblr ahhhhHHHH so I had to go over the whole thing again, I’m pressed

And anyways, I’ve been working on a really big project for a while now, it is literally my baby, and it’s a Loki x reader because I finally watched some marvel movies lol, I’ll wait with posting it till it’s completely done bc rn it’s kinda a mess (and not nearly done) but if anyone would be interested in beta reading the first 5 chapters please don’t hesitate reaching out to me!

You are wonderful! Thank you for reading <3

Request something? HERE!

Tags? @dlfvrr (this was the only instance I could find of someone wanting to be tagged in my Judd stuff, please reply to this if you do want to be tagged)

[gotta-love-dani]

Dating Judd Birch would include

meeting on accident- like literally yall bumped into each other when you were looking for one of your friends and you knew they hung out with him

him being weirdly embarrassed that he even liked someone like you because you guys are polar opposites

In the end, he ended up asking you out because one of his friends was basically teasing him and it pissed him off so he decided to FINALLY do something

him treating you like he treated anyone else

watching him smoke weed and smoking with him once

he gets horny when he's high so....yk

high sex

car sex

going to parties with him

getting in trouble because of him but like "Mom I love him"

him being nicer to you than anyone else thinks

he is head over heals for you but he will never admit it

him being super protective and nobody fucks with you

talking to Leah and being friends with her and him not appreciating it

dying his hair for him because bffr he needs help

him convincing you to color a strand of your hair

helping him catch up on high school credits, he is smart just lazy

meeting his plug and helping her with her son

going everywhere with him and your parents being weirded out by that

him helping you buy clothes

going home with him after parties

him going to great lengths to make sure you were comfortable anywhere even though he will never admit it

meeting his parents

them loving you because they can see that he cares about you and they know that you care about him

you quite literally live with him because of all the times yall spend together

him getting a tattoo and him convincing you to get one too

him pretending to be annoyed by the things you like

pet names ???

him practically calling you bitch or slut but like in a good way????

talking back to each other but like lovingly

him getting drunk and admitting that he wants to marry you

LIKE GURL

and in like show elements

HE HATES THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN MAURY AND HIS LOVE BUG

threatening his hormone monster and love bug 24/7

cuz they annoy him

Maury reminding him that you are FINE ASS FUCK

him loving to tease you and he loves to see you blush

you teasing him as well cuz cmon

him kissing you 24/7

dates are practically just eating food in his room and watching movies

only going out on special dates (birthdays or anniversary dates)

which he almost forgot your anniversary once but he was saved by his sister

him stealing things that remind him of you

him assuring you that he only likes you when you hear other girls drooling over him

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Time for Big Mouth season 6 summary!

I do this every year and that’s basically the only Big Mouth post I make for the year. So let’s go!

THE SONGS IN THE SEASON WAS… BANGERS!!! And now the new song album is out!!! With all the songs from season 4-6

The fucking ”Girl we got with your mom” song will forever be stuck in my head though now

Andrew’s parents :( I feel bad for him.

Him and Bernie were so cute :,) And i’m lowkey glad we saw her clips cause… some of the stuff reminded me of stuff I’ve done… what can I say the show really reminds you of the weird shit you did when you were in middle school

Anyway I am tempted to do that list lmao

Aren’t they supposed to be 14 now? They’ve been 13 since S1-

WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHO IS THE PRINCIPAL

This season was a little like a ”middle season” where I feel like not as much happened. But I do know they’ve been picked up for S7 so this is probably intentional.

I miss Ali and Jessi’s scenes :( But I do know why they didn’t have much interaction except that ”does anyone have a tampon” scene. First is that this season focused much more on family - and also, since stuff that happens on human resources also affects Big Mouth, Jessi doesn’t have a love bug since she got fired. Maybe Human Resources will pick this up in their next season. We’ll see.

ASEXUAL CHARACTER! Also the fact that his hormone monsters are so ok with it.

CONNIE AND MAURY’S BABY I love how they just fit right in

Missy finally got her period! I was actually wondering if she had gotten it or not. Also ”it’s brown, are you sure I haven’t pooped myself?” wow that’s relateable

Very accurate representation of a yeast infection lmao… god why are female genitals like this we constantly have to look out for stuff like this all the time

Love how they’re always going crazy in the last episode of the seasons. FUCKED UP FRIDAY YEAH IT SURE WAS

Lola and Jessi’s friendship awwww

THAT ONE TIME ANDREW BUMPED INTO MISSY AND SHE WENT ”GET TF AWAY FROM ME” AND ASKED HIM TO STAY AT LEAST A 2 METER DISTANCE LMOOO

I really love how things are starting to get better for Lola :) She deserves it

And Jay :( He deserves better

I wonder if Delilah will get any monsters. Babies have some monsters too I vet (besides the need demon)

Ok so when I was 13, I had found a lot of ”transformed into a baby/forced to be a baby” stories on wattpad. I don’t know why, I found one and suddenly I had read like 20 of them. I was so weirded out by them but I also was intrigued to it. So anyway, with all the diaper jokes, people wetting and shitting themselves, Jessi switching bodies with Delilah and having to spend the time as a baby, I kinda cringed because. I had read a lot of stories and I sat there like just questioning why I ever did. This show is great to remind yourself about the weird stuff in your adolescense <3 And that’s both the charm and the con of it hahahaha

To be fair, I read far worse things on wattpad… those things were MILD to the weird shit I otherwise found on that site

Anyway! Liked the season! Didn’t feel like as much was happening, but I am still gonna rewatch it 😄 I always find new things upon rewatch

[ignocubo]

Things I'd Want To See In Human Resources S3 (if it hadn't been CANCELLED)

• pete getting a girlfriend because he deserves it

• montel's journey in notre shame– perhaps some kind of developing arc involving rita?

• connie and maury marriage of some sorts– or perhaps a rejected proposal?

• emmy getting a promotion. can lovebugs even get promotions? idc, emmy at least deserves a nomination.

• more sarah

• new hormone monster/concept introduced. maybe a new lovebug who seems super sweet but is actually toxic love?

• some kind of strike? idk how tasteful it would be to do a plot about workers on strike considering the whole sag-afta situation, but i think it would be cool to see the ambition gremlins on strike and how that would affect everyone else's clients.

- actually maybe scratch that last one because isn't human resources a way of life in this universe rather than a job? hmmm

• a team with a depression cat on it (like for a main storyline, not 1-2 episodes like season one). d. kitty is definitely major/untreated depression while cat stevens is minor/medicated depression, so putting emmy on a team with either one of them (specifically cat stevens bc didn't he and emmy have a thing??) would be interesting

• another big mouth cameo, like there was in season 1. seeing lola skumpy on a milk carton and hearing jay's voice in another body isn't gonna cut it for me 😭

[lil-space-king]

I've watched and seen every season of big mouth and did enjoy it.

But dammit I wish the hormones monsters werent so fucking gross. Connie's hot but maury and their nonbinary child r so ugly. I hated the birth. :(

[justknoxville]

why do I get the feeling Maury is Max's hormone monster

[braindeadfrizzy]

Nick Kroll.. ❤️😩

Does anyone do a good Maury Hormone Monster impression? I’m in dire need of someone who can do it 👀

[1-800-roflmao]

Was rewatching Mr. Meaty and in one of the episodes in season 2, they had a puberty fairy and when I saw him, plus the title, it made me realize Maury the Hormone Monster made a reference to this episode (it could be coincidence but lord the similarities lol).

The main difference between the two is the Puberty Fairy is much more wholesome than Hormone Monsters. Puberty Fairy was less about raging hormones and more about accepting growing up happens, it doesn't have to be scary, and it's about more than suddenly being interested in boinking everything and everyone. Puberty Fairy even assured him he didn't have to give up everything he enjoyed as a kid, it's perfectly fine to a little bit of a child at heart.

ANYWAY, it just tickles me to realize Big Mouth made a reference to Mr. Meaty and how it flew over my head for so long.

[cruelwrath]

dude i can sound like nick kroll's maury the hormone monster voice (from big mouth) but it really fucking hurts my voice and i used that ability so much today i might lose my voice. help