#may's asks

[capricornlevi]

Pls write something abt asking toji where u should get a tattoo!! suggestive or nsfw if u want and If they're in an established relationship that would be good too

"so you're goin' into the studio tomorrow and still don't know what you're gonna get done?"

"or where it's gonna be" you remind toji, throwing yourself down on your couch and kicking your legs over his lap. he settles back into the cushion, spreading his thighs to allow you more room, resting a tattooed hand on your knee. "but i promised shoko i'd go with her and get one in solidarity, so i guess i'll have to be impulsive."

"not that i'm a fuckin' beacon of responsibility, but you do know they're forever, right?" he mumbles, eyes glinting as he tilts his head back. "not sayin' it has to be poetic or meaningful or anythin', you just ... you gotta like it. it's what gets you through the hours of sittin' in the chair."

"and what about you liking it?" you muse, rolling up your sleeve and holding out your bare forearm. "what if i came back with a gojo tattoo right here?"

he huffs at the mention of his rival artist's name. "i'd fire shiu for having the nerve to put that on you in my studio. him being the co-owner isn't gonna stop me."

and though he clearly isn't bothered by your joke, his brows pull together for a moment as he thinks something over.

"you sure you don't need me to do it?" he asks, quieter this time; an indication of his sincerity. "i can move around my bookings --"

you wave off his concerns. "nah, shoko is booked in for noon and shiu's got a space then, so i need to commit. but," you pause, flattered by his concern, and dip your head in to press a kiss to his jawline. "if i like it," and a kiss to his scarred lips, "you can do my next one."

he chuckles, low and deep, pulling you up onto his lap in earnest, arms looping around your shoulders until you're flush against his muscled chest.

"well, ya still need to pick where this one's gonna go," he murmurs, dropping his large hands to rest on your thighs -- though they don't stay there for long, trailing up and up until they linger at your hips.

"maybe here?" he offers quietly, thumb going under the fabric of your shirt and circling the sensitive skin by your hipbone.

"heard it's meant to hurt there," you mumble, though without much conviction, goosebumps raising wherever his hands touch you. your breath catches in your throat and toji grins, victorious.

"aw, we wouldn't want that, would we?" he whispers teasingly into your ear, shivers travelling down the back of your neck through your spine.

his hands travel up, up under your shirt until he's at your ribcage, fingertips resting at the side of your breasts.

"maybe here?" he wonders out loud, before shaking his head. "nah, can't have shiu seeing that much of you. so i guess that just leaves..."

he lifts his arms then, tugging your shirt over your head in one fluid motion, moving his hand for one last time to rest at the back of your neck, pulling you in for a heated kiss.

"here," he mumbled against your lips, index finger tapping against a spot by your nape. through the haze of his touch you barely manage a feeble nod, met with a low chuckle from toji.

he pulls back, lips kiss-slick and eyes scanning your form as you rock back and forth on his lap.

"guess we better map out all your future tattoos, huh?"

[seethestarsalittlecloser]

Okay, so I saw your post abt writing just now and I feel you soooooo much! Im stuck on like, 3-5 wips and i just have constant ideas popping up in my mind, tiny littke scenes, but when i sit down to write it down i get tangled in the exposition, amd my brain doesnt want to just jot down "then X happens, fill in later", nope, it gets stuck on EXACTLY the sequence of events. And then i dont write anything? Idk if you have similar problems but im frustrated as hell about this! Hugs

Oh trust me I definitely feel that. Usually when I get into that tricky spot where I have to skip a bit and write it in later, I switch to what I call my "notebook" for the relevant fic which is a collection of scenes that the actual manuscript hasn't gotten up to yet, that allows me to write things out of order and then copy-paste them into the document when I get up to it. It's also a handy place to put deleted scenes to get over that reluctance to delete things.

In my current case, however, this idea has always been totally unwieldy (ie the timeline is just so fucking long and my muse keeps bouncing up and down it without regard for the laws of time or context) and generally uncooperative (almost every word has been written on my phone between the hours of 10pm and midnight because I've laid down to go to sleep and been Possessed by the Urge To Write a Specific Scene) and the minute I try to actually sit down and write chronologically brain goes "no thank you" and I end up spending hours and hours researching the history of the London Underground for Totally Relevant but Still Insignificant Plot Details.

But yeah. Notebook documents - either on their own or as a section of your planning doc if you're that way inclined, idk your process - are a lifesaver for me.

[bixels]

Baffled.

[slushy-sash]

very important research

[piratedllama-art]

Quarters only, please [x <- prints here]

(done in procreate)

[cemeterything]

plenty of "girl who looks cute wearing her boyfriend's clothes" content out there but not enough "guy who looks cute wearing his girlfriend's clothes" in my opinion. where's your commitment. where's your bisexuality.

[catfoodsminmo]

i love u characters who are victims who don't show things in a way that's appealing i love u characters whos trauma leaves them with anger issues, with violence issues, with issues with connection and trust and being truthful i love you characters who don't get "better" in a way that's palatable, who don't find growth and meaning in their trauma

[tennant-davids]

LOKI 2x06 Glorious Purpose

[xuroky]

dinner is ready

[capricornlevi]

Hello! Could I pls request nanami giving a scalp massage and then braiding reader’s hair after. I could totally see him doing this to reader after they’ve had a super stressful day at work. Something about nanami taking the load off reader’s shoulders 🥺🥺 hope you recover soon from Covid!

hello! <3 thank you so much for your request and your kind wishes abt the covid stuff, unforch I'm still in the process of getting over it but making progress every day! <3 hope you're having a lovely week!

___

Nanami x Reader - A Weight Off Your Shoulders

Nanami arrives home from work to find you sitting at the kitchen counter, head in your hands, the record player set to the highest volume and the tattered menu of your favourite takeout restaurant sitting on the table. 

He’s known you for long enough now to instantly recognise these as tell-tale signs that you’ve had a horrible day. 

It could have been that something went wrong at work, there was a delay (or many) on your commute home, you were experiencing the early stages of a tension headache - or on some particularly grim occasions, a combination of them all - but no matter the cause, he doesn’t even have to ask to know when something’s bothering you.

A silver lining to being able to recognise the signs of your bad day is that Nanami then also knows exactly how to cheer you up. It took some trial and error on both of your parts, as it does with all relationships, but as time has passed and you’ve grown to learn things about each other, you’ve both established a routine that helps to lighten the load on the other’s shoulders. 

Whenever Nanami comes home distressed after a particularly gruesome case or even when he just feels particularly weary from the burden that he carries with his job, you usually start by wrapping your arms around his strong chest and bringing him close for a hug. He’s surprisingly physically affectionate (when in private), and sometimes, that embrace alone is enough to return some of the warmth to his eyes. 

On days like today, however, when it’s you who is in need of comfort, Nanami has his own routine. His method of cheering you up is physical, too, but in a different way. 

Guiding you over to the couch, he starts by setting you down on the soft cushions so that you’re positioned in front of him and ensuring that you’re sitting comfortably. First giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead, he then starts to massage your shoulders and neck, rubbing soothing circles into your skin with his hands. 

Eyes closed, you feel the tension melt away with his careful touch.

As he does this, while he’s slowly working away at the tension that’s built up in your muscles, he’ll ask you questions; whether they’re about the specific problem you’re facing or just little queries about your day, it depends on your mood - some days you want solutions, but on others, you just want to vent. 

Nanami is well-equipped to handle either.

Once your shoulders have relaxed and your mind feels less fuzzy, he then adjusts your position slightly. Your back is facing him still, but he tilts your head back so that it’s resting against his chest and he can better move his hands to stroke gently through your hair. Starting with a soft brush over the nape of your neck, he runs his fingers through your hair slowly, so slowly that you could fall asleep just like that. 

If he thinks you’re too tired at that stage, he’ll suggest a nap - on some days this is a necessity, but today you want to stay like this a little longer.

“I’m okay,” you mumble sleepily. “I don’t need to rest.”

“You sure?” he asks, a little amused at your reaction; your still-shut eyes don’t exactly inspire confidence, after all. 

“Mmhmm,” you agree, shuffling your position so you’re sitting upright for the next step in your routine. 

Without even needing to ask, Nanami starts to braid your hair; always the same style, but you can’t complain - you’re the one who taught him how, after all. He’s so gentle that you start to forget the sheer strength that he possesses, the fierceness that his job demands - but he handles you so carefully, his touch so deliberate and full of affection that you can’t believe your good fortune.

Resting here, with his arms wrapped around you, it’s easy to forget about whatever little problem soured your mood earlier in the day.

Once the task is complete and the tension has left your face entirely, now replaced with a look of bliss and contentment, Nanami will give you a (deservedly) self-satisfied little grin.

“Better?” he asks, though he knows the answer.

“Better,” you agree warmly “Now come and help me decide what to order for dinner.”

[mayexiled]

I just wanted to say I absolutely adore your artwork! such a dope style!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for being my first ask too. ⚡️

[destielyurii]

If you feel comfortable please tell me about your middle name in the tags too! I'm nosey and don't know what to do with my own middle name lmao

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Will Abby ever meet Elizabeth 👀

I’ve technically drawn that once before! In newer comics? We’ll see,,

[chiptrillino]

Trick or treat ! 🎃

TREAT!

Well just a wip so maybe a treat?

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley