#maybe ill be nice and share a snippet today...

[fanboyzuko]

Cracks knuckles we got a full set up today boys let's write a scene or two

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Sunrise With You Too

I’m unoriginal and this is two weeks later than when I wanted to post it. I got in the habit of procrastinating when there are things I really wanna be doing. Also please forgive my lack of creativity but this is the addendum to the first sunrise with you but with a smaller roster this time around to just try and lessen the workload when it comes to projects like this and there have also been characters I’ve been drawn to as of late. Regardless I hope you all enjoy my sappy renditions of these small snippets!

~~~

Sunrise with You (Peace)

~With the endless game finally at an end, and the past behind you everything felt… fresh. Everyone in your life was no longer bound by the rules of any game and could live as they wanted. Even the wall that closed you all in no longer stood in your way. Weirdly enough you couldn’t sleep so you had stayed awake staying off at the night horizon. The Tokyo skyline seemed to go on forever with no boundaries to hold you. Just what did lie out there in the world? It was all so exciting. But then, the door to the roof opened and you turned to find…

Sunrise with You (part 2)

Yasuyori

~“There you are, Summoner.” Yasuyori calls out to you as he stands to attention by your side. “A lovely night, isn’t it?” You agreed with him and asked if Yasuyori came to get some air too. “Yeah. I was also curious where you ran off to once your friends had all claimed you wandered off on your own.” So he was looking for you. “Y-Yes…” The therian admitted bashfully. The blush becoming readily apparent through his fur. “I just wanted to spend a bit more time together. That’s all…” What did he mean by that exactly? It felt as though he wanted to say more but stopped himself ahead of time. “Let’s not… focus on those sorts of topics.” You and Yasuyori were engaged in small talk for quite some time. Yasuyori just seemed relieved all the fighting can be over and done with and you were glad that cycle was over and done with.

~“I’m just glad we can go where we want now. Uh…” Yasuyori averted his gaze away from you and fixated on the ground below. “This isn’t exactly easy for me to say but… once I graduate I plan to take some time to travel.” Is that why he’s been fidgety? “You noticed…” He seemed disheartened that you saw him in a more vulnerable light. His expression was more solemn when he turned to face you as a result. With a deep breath he continued, “I… I want to know what a life without conflict was like. What was it for all those going on outside these walls? What was happening after all this time? I want to understand that better.” You definitely thought it was a valiant effort and made note of all those excited to leave the city. You did have some concern about Yasuyori leaving so suddenly. He seemed taken aback by this. “I-It’s not like I won’t come back! I’ve still got to make sure that fool Ashigara keeps himself in check after all. And…” He blushed and scratched himself nervously. “Y-You’d still…” The Therian gave a low growl and looked back to the ground. “Nothing. You’re still you…” You took a moment to process what he was trying to say before asking something of him. A… promise of sorts. “Y-Yes? No matter the request I’ll do my best to fulfill it while I’m still here!” You took his hand in both of yours with the intent of making a promise to him.

~At first Yasuyori was speechless. When he finally spoke up “That’s… that’s a ring!” He brought the ring to eye level to confirm that it indeed was a ring. “You… this isn’t some stunt you’re trying to pull on me, right? T-This isn’t some cheap ploy to make me stay, right!?” After freaking out for another moment he got a grip over himself and sighed. “No, of course not. That’s not you.” You asked Yasuyori that when you graduate, that he’ll come back for you and you both can experience the world together. Maybe even show you all the things he’s learned while he was gone. With the ring now on his finger his hands interlocked with yours and the two of you stared into each others eyes as the sun began to rise… “I swear on my heart that I will come back for you and more. I also promise to call often and take proper care of myself. I…” He hesitated, gulping his words before continuing. “I promise once I come back to officially make you mine. Just as you’ve promised me. I-I love you.”

Ziz

~“Oh thank goodness. This is where you were.” You were surprised to see Ziz and asked what she was doing here. “I was only concerned about where you had wandered off to. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” You told her it was fine- you were just shocked. “Oh! I didn’t mean to startle.” You once again reaffirmed everything was fine. You asked if she wanted to spend some time watching the sky together and just… talking. You could really use some company, you figured. “Oh, I’d love to! It’s a shame I didn’t prepare any snacks beforehand…” You and Ziz spent a moment together just resting on the roof top under the gaze of the stars at peace with yourselves…

~You and Ziz spent that time in relative silence. You weren’t quite sure how to break the ice with each her so asking how she was feeling was the best you could come up with. “Oh, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. Is everything alright with you?” Aside from being tired after feeling a heavy burden lifted from your shoulders, you were… unsure. You opened up a bit about not knowing what was gonna come next. “I see… you wouldn’t be the only one.” Ziz admits. “You may not want to hear it, but I’ve always worried about today. There’s simply so much out there I don’t understand. It does scare me knowing I won’t be able to protect those I care about from all the dangers from within Tokyo- let alone outside…” You expressed concern for Ziz now with her concerns and finally realizing the size of the world you knew against the world you didn’t know. It was intimidating. You proposed that maybe there was a way to face each day somehow. “W-What?”

~You held out your ring to Ziz and claimed you always want to be side by side. She gasped unsure of what to say. “B-But…!” Ziz stammered. “I’m your- This isn’t-! Oh goodness…” You made a comment about how cute she was when flustered. “I-It’s not polite to tease your teachers like this!” You both laughed together as it turned to daybreak. “Oh… the sunrise is especially beautiful today…” Ziz commented. You agreed and said how glad you were to see this with her. “You know… what you asked isn’t such a bad thought. We could watch plenty more sunrises together… side by side like we are now.” The two of you inched closer and closer to one another until finally your head was resting on her shoulder. “I’ll consider what you’ve asked me today. There’s still so much I want to see and experience. When I have you I feel I can do those things. I just hope you can look out for me all the times I can be rather careless… okay?”

Shennong

~Shennong let out a sigh as he was relieved to find you. “I figured you’d have a hard time sleeping…” Surprised and concerned, you asked Shennong if he had spent a long time looking for you. “Of course not. I was just making sure you kept yourself out of trouble for at least one night.” The bull gave a chuckle as he scratched the back of his head. You denied being a troublemaker while bashfully chuckling with him. “You really expect me to believe that? You’re always the one in everyone else’s problems by choice or chance- you really can’t help yourself.” Your school’s doctor cooed and doted on you in that teasing manner as you tried to deny being as much of a troublemaker as he was painting you out to be.

~It was then Shennong realized something was off about you. “Hey, you’re not sick or anything right? Nothing out of the ordinary?” You felt perfectly normal. In fact, you felt even better with him around to keep you company. “I see… that’s good.” He winked. “I can’t have you getting ill on me now. Or… well, that doesn’t matter.” Suddenly he looked gloomy. As if he was recalling something unwelcome. You said his name out of concern. That snapped him out of his stupor and he laughed awkwardly again. “Concerned for me, are you? You’ll make me blush if you keep doing that.” You took his hand in yours and told him not to hide things on his mind from you. “You’re really sweet… I… don’t want you running off again and putting yourself in more danger. I need you to stay healthy, otherwise… I wouldn’t know what I’d do with myself to let you get hurt again…” You squeezed Shennong’s fuzzy hand as you offered one way he could keep you safe. “Huh?” Without hesitating any longer you showed Shennong the ring.

~“Ah!” He was stunned. “Wait a second here!” Do you have any idea how serious this is!? You’ve made plenty of dumb jokes before but something like this…! This isn’t a game!” You agreed and replied that it wasn’t a game to you. You’ve never been more serious before about anything until now. Shennong makes you feel… safe. After a moment to collect himself, Shennong sighs. “What am I going to do with you?” Rather than just take the ring from you the bull pulls you in for a hug and your eyes lock as light shines over the roof thanks to the sun. “I hope you know what you’re getting into. I can be quite stubborn and overprotective…” You both smile at each other.

Gyumao

~“Ah, there you are my esteemed partner! What are you doing up here? The celebrations are still going on downstairs!” Gyumao claimed with joy as he immediately approached you while on the roof. You said you just wanted to take a break and came out for some air and noticed how nice the stars were tonight. Gyumao looked up right alongside you. “They certainly are a lovely thing. It’s important to slow down and enjoy the smaller things- I’m glad you remembered something as important as that. Mind if I join you?” You told him you would appreciate the company and the two of you shared thoughts about the future.

~“So… that’s it, hmm?” The Therian sighed suddenly. “Once tomorrow comes it’s back to work for me… actually scratch that- It’ll be more than work. It’ll be full on duty to ensure Public Relations with the outside businesses go smoothly, ensuring that the company expansion is well tempered and all sorts of other things. Nothing we can’t handle, right?” You asked him what he meant by that. “Well, I’m going to need my business partner after all. I do depend on you…” He stopped as he realized this was his chance. “Say, what were your plans for the future again?” You told him you were open to a lot of different possibilities so you weren’t quite sure yourself. Gyumao laughed. “An open ended answer for an open ended person!” His laughter quickly shifted to a more serious and passionate tone however. He looked at you with a gentle expression of yearning. You noticed this. “If you don’t mind, I have a… proposition for you.” Oh?

~Gyumao presented a ring box as he got down on one knee. He opened the box to reveal an engraved ring. “I… I would like to ask you to be more than my business partner one day. Of course, that’s only if-” You stopped him right there. As your answer you revealed your ring for him. The bull was taken aback at first, but quickly got onto his feet and was grinning from ear to ear. “That’s my partner for you! I swear I’ll never know what you’ll do next!” The two of you slipped the rings onto each others’ fingers. “A perfect fit…” He sighed with relief. Gyumao wrapped an arm around your shoulder and gave you a wink as the sun began to rise. “When the time comes you and I will spend the rest of our lives together. I swear with all that time you’ll be happier than you’ve ever thought possible. I just know thinking about spending a lifetime with you… that gets me all sorts of excited. Let’s reach greater heights of happiness than ever before!”

Benten

~“So this is where you ran off to.” Benten teased. “What are you even doing out so late? I thought you said you were too tired from all the fighting.” You just told her you couldn’t sleep and wanted some air. What about her? She pulled her weight the last couple of days and then some after putting on a show for everyone. “I, uh… look don’t sweat the small stuff, kay? I wanted to take some selfies under the stars! Yeah, some night sky pics for my medias! That’s all!” You tried to raise the argument it was dark but you immediately stopped once you realized she was glaring right at you. You felt as though her gaze was going to burn a hole right through you so you stepped out of her way and let her do her thing.

~You tried to shift topics in the meantime while she fussed over getting the perfect selfie to start the next stage in her life. You asked what she wanted to do now since the walls are down. “I’m taking my internet fame to the next level. Duh!” Benten said confidently. “I’m thinking of doing a world tour or something when I finally graduate. I’ll be amassing followers if I do that, yeah?” It was always about followers with her, wasn’t it? “You say it like it’s a bad thing. There’s plenty of career potential being an online celeb! I figured a… a normie like yourself wouldn’t understand.” A… normie? Benten blushed. “Ugh, geez. Don’t go asking me things like that! It’s way too cu- wah… waaaah! Not cute! Definitely wasn’t about to say that!” She suddenly snapped defiantly. “I’ll become an internet star! You’ll see!” You had no doubt about that since she already won you over a long time ago. “Wh-What…!?” You presented your ring for her and said you hope to be her Number 1 follower. Benten was speechless for a moment before she couldn’t hold it back and started snickering.

~“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” She belted out through laughter. “Geez, what kind of cringey soaps have you been watching lately? Totally going in the cringe comps later!” She guffawed even harder, making you incredibly red in the face and a bit frustrated you weren’t being taken seriously. Benten just laughed in your face after expressing your feelings. However her tune quickly changed when she noticed your tears forming thanks to the rising sun. “You’re…” She became red herself and a look of shame washed over her expression. It was then she realized something. “Uh, hey! I think I found the perfect spot for that picture!” Benten awkwardly took a place next to you and locked your arm with hers. She held the camera of her phone out while using the dawn’s light as her light source. You were a bit confused. “I just… don’t ever wanna be forgotten. And I also don’t wanna forget all the times we had together. It would suck if I forgot the person I lo- ah, hmmm…” She faked a cough. “The person I stan.” You were just confused about her sporadic behavior. “Look, I just… don’t wanna let you go. Not yet anyway…” She seemed upset about saying something a bit cliché but held her tongue back. “Just promise you won’t forget either. Otherwise I’ll make you remember…” She took the photo when you promised not to.

Typhon

~“There you are, my master~!” Typhon greeted you gleefully. “What’s a cutie like you doing so far out from the rest of the party huh?” He wrapped an arm around you as you asked why he left the party so soon. “Well the cutest one in the room went off somewhere, duh! Glad I found you.” The shark therian winked. “You’re the life of the party!” You blushed at all his compliments noting that they were more frequent than any other instance. “Well…” Typhon blushed and scratched the back of his head. “You are the ‘hero’ of Tokyo after all. Can’t let the good you did go unrewarded…” You and Typhon laughed a bit about calling you a hero.

~You asked him if he had any plans now that you all were no longer locked within the confines of the city. “Hmm, maybe take a vacation?” He suggested. “I’ll level with ya, I haven’t thought that far ahead. Sure it’s exciting but… I like the idea of just finding a partner and just settling down. Then again, the world must be full of beautiful babes so I’ve got time~.” You were a little disheartened he would treat love so casually. You felt it was something that he really should stop messing around with. “I-I know… It’s not easy to find your soulmate ya know. Things like that take time and effort.” You pondered aloud that maybe your soulmates were with you right from the start. “Hmm, what do you mean by that?” You admitted that you had been worried for a while that he might disappear so suddenly again. The thought of losing him scared you for some reason. “R-Really!? Master, I’m sorry for worrying you all the time like that!” Suddenly Typhon pulled you into a tight embrace. You were shocked as he pressed you into his large frame. “See, I’m here now! You don’t gotta cry about me anymore! I-I’m not going anywhere anytime soon!” You gasped saying you couldn’t breathe despite how elated you were to be hugged by him. “Ah- Sorry!” He loosened his grip enough so you two can look at each other. You noticed the distraught look over Typhon’s face and apologized for making him feel that way. “N-No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should never have scared you like that.” You both processed each others apologies before slipping into conjoined laughter. “Of course we wouldn’t leave each other for so long!” He was right, but… you had to get the burning question off your chest.

~You presented Typhon with a ring that really didn’t seem like it’d fit on his finger, but suggested it’d make for a great necklace one day. “Is… Is this why you were asking all that stuff before?” Typhon’s face turned deep red as he stared at your smaller hands with the ring. “You know I can’t say no, Master!” Typhon’s smiled gently. This time Typhon knelt down and delicately placed his hand on your back as he whispered. “For a long time, I knew we were soulmates. I was just too afraid to admit you were the one…”

Tetsuya

~“Seriously, this is how you’re spending your last night as a free bird?” Tetsuya scoffed as he came up to you and stared down at the city. He got comfortable and leaned against the edge which made you a bit nervous about two things. Tetsuya has rarely been the one to initiate conversation and you’re often the one striking it up. “Everyone was making a fuss over you, so they sent me to look for you. I figured you’d be doing something out there like stargazing.” There wasn’t anything wrong with wanting to gaze at the stars in the night sky you elaborate. You also made a bit of a remark about how he’s looking down all the time which seemed to have irked him. “Cheeky tonight, aren’t you?” Tetsuya grumbled and took a deep breath. It was always awkward to try and talk to him after getting on his bad side, but still something was bothering you. Tetsuya seemed… despondent almost.

~So in order to try and get him to open up a bit you asked if he had any plans at all now that the city was freed. “Well, I was hoping to sleep in since I’ve got my shift tomorrow night. I was lucky enough to get tonight off-” You denied that those were real plans. “The hell are you talking about? Of course they are.” Sure, but no aspirations for the future? The whole world is out there and he’s gonna act like nothing’s different? “For folks like you, yeah. Things are different.” He said while still staring at the city. “For someone like me the red light district is where I belong. Trying to fantasize about a future that can’t come true is just cruel.” You countered that it was more cruel to deny a dream outright because it seemed impossible. You instinctively moved closer until you were side by side with Tetsuya. You looked down at the city and commented on how the street lights way down there were almost like the stars in the sky in there own way. He sighed and actively looked away from you. “Do you always gotta come up with some corny shit to say?” Silently, you put a hand to his back and asked him what his dream would be. He can be as extravagant or as absurd as he wants. There was no need to hold back. “Whatever I want, huh?” His voice quivered. He coughed to readjust his voice. “Fine. I want…” Tetsuya pondered for a moment about what he would want.

~“A big mansion and a lotta cash. That way I could live the easy life and never have to lift a finger ever again unless I wanted to.” You admitted that was something easier said than done, but also pressed to hear more about this fantasy. “You’re just actively trying to annoy me today, aren’t you? Okay then.” Tetsuya turns to face you face you finally with a scowl on his face. “I wouldn’t be all alone in that mansion. I… I’d need butlers and maids to weight on my every whim of course.” You both laughed. “And… someone to share it with.” Tetsuya sighed. “There, ya happy?” You told him you were very happy when you scooted next to him and wrapped your arms around his. “H-Hey!” You told him there was one dream you had ever since coming to Tokyo. It was to find someone to be with to fend off the loneliness. “H-Hold on!” Tetsuya shot up. “What the hell are you even talking about right now!?” It was time when you decided the jig was up and revealed the ring. It wasn’t meant to be anything serious right away, but a promise for right now to have each other’s backs. “T-This isn’t just some off color partnership… this is…” Tetsuya glared at you as his face burned bright red in the rising light of the sun. “You’re a real piece of work, ya know?” You said that you wanted to be the one he would share his riches with. “You… You could have anyone… so why…?” Rather than reject you any longer, all Tetsuya wanted to do was wonder why. Why would you choose someone as garish as him? All you said was that you cared about him, and no amount of circumstances was gonna change that.

Tadatomo

~At first you were convinced you were imagining someone coming to check on you, but then you noticed a familiar sensation of being watched. You laughed and called out to Tadatomo to stop hiding. From beside you, he spoke “You’re noticing me a lot more now. Good.” You jumped a bit as how suddenly he appeared besides you. “Of course I’ll come to your side. Just say the word and I’ll be right here.” You asked if that meant all the time or when he wasn’t busy seeking revenge. “Ah… right. Forgive me, I’ve lied to you once again… The culprits responsible are still out there. I can’t simply leave it be. However…” He stopped mid sentence and you tried to get him to talk about it again. “I’ve… had a change of heart as of late.”

~A… change of heart? “I refuse to give up my pursuit of them. What they did to my father and old master is unforgivable and a disgrace to my family as a whole. I intend to make them suffer a slow and cruel death through and through and I still look forward to the day I can relish in their agony.” Tadatomo grinned almost devilishly as he no doubt fantasized about one day gutting the people responsible. Nervously, you asked what’s changed. “Well… I thought about it more and… I don’t want them doing something like this to anyone ever again. My time with you and the other warriors helped me realize that I still have a sense of justice…” You really asked him if you inspired him that much? “In a sense.” You were still a little lost but you understood that he was no longer seeking retribution for himself, but rather to protect the weak. You really admired him for that…

~Tadatomo realized how long the two of you had been standing outside. He apologized. “I must be off.” You stopped him before he could melt back into the shadows and asked him for something important. “I’ll do anything for you, you’re aware of that.” You asked him to come back in one piece. Revenge or not, he was still someone who won you over in the end. You place in his hand the ring you were entrusted with. You asked Tadatomo to swear to come back alive, no matter if he accomplishes his goals or not. If you had lost him… “Please, don’t cry for my sake…” The therian took the ring and placed it on his finger, then grabbed your hands. When the sunlight finally reached the roof you could see the smile across Tadatomo’s face and the tears that were brimmed on his eyes. He took notice of your forlorn expression as well. “I promise to return here. Though it pains me to leave now, I swear to you I will come back. I won’t let my… my love down ever again.”

[cambionverse]

envesseled (3 of 3): funeral

happy end of our 10th cambiversary day (for real this time), and the end—for now—of new envesseled content. but you may see more sneak peeks of envesseled during the writing process to come, because you guys: this one's a doozy. expect both length and angst.

this snippet comes with a big, major, huge spoiler warning - you know the one. it's basically an open secret at this point. content warnings for death and grief (which should be unsurprising, given the title).

thank you all so much for reading along and for joining us on this monumental occasion. we saved the best for last, so let's make you sad! <3

---

The new snow covers all but the freshest set of footprints. Even though Claire can't actually see Jesse, following him out of Singer's Salvage is easy. The clouds cover most of the moonlight, but white snow is still white snow, putting the silhouettes of trees into sharp relief. It isn't long before she works out his destination—the palo santo tree.

Where Ben is buried.

Claire could stop, now that she knows. Should stop, and give Jesse his privacy. But she doesn't. Like being unable to tear her eyes from a car wreck—part of her wants to see.

The grace protecting the clearing hasn't stopped the little wildflowers from being buried in white. Ben's grave marker could very well be buried too, Claire thinks—but her eyes land on it immediately, a large pile of stones pushed atop a shallow hole in the ground. Jesse, a black shape against the snow, stands huddled before it, bent against the wind or perhaps the whatever ill feeling he gets from the palo santo tree being so close. He stands there for a long time, without moving or saying a word. Snowflakes gather in his hair.

Eventually, Claire goes to join him. It's better than standing by herself, and—he looks so still, there in the snow. Jesse's indestructible, but she just wants to make sure.

Jesse starts when he hears her footsteps, but the hard line of his shoulders relaxes once she's close enough to make out his face. "So much for sleeping, hm?" he asks.

Claire doesn't say anything. The wind whips through the trees.

"I don't know what to say at funerals," Jesse says finally. "I've never been to one. Not my parents', or any of the Simms family—obviously." He shrugs. "I don't know what to say."

Is this Ben's funeral? A sorry excuse for one. He deserves better—but it doesn't matter, Claire reminds herself. None of this matters, none of it is real, because she's going to bring him back.

Jesse reaches into his pocket and produces a large smooth stone. "I've never really visited a grave, either," he confesses. There are tears frozen on his face. "But this is what you're supposed to do, right?" Carefully, so it doesn't fall, he lays the stone on top of the grave. "I don't know, I've never really known anybody who was Jewish except Ben, and I know he didn't keep kosher or anything like that. But the night before we left Cicero, after everything with the djinn, I found him picking out a rock. He said he wanted to leave it on his mom's grave, because it'd been so long."

They'd hung around in Cicero for a few days after everything happened, but Claire remembers now that Ben had disappeared for about an hour the morning they left, claiming he had some catching up around town to do. It was close enough to the truth that it didn't even set off Claire's grace. She hadn't thought much of it at the time—just another thing about Ben she wasn't paying enough attention to.

Jesse turns his head a little. "Can I ask you something?"

Claire crosses her arms, though even the snow doesn't really make her feel cold. Jesse seems to take it for agreement.

"Earlier today," he starts, and something in his tone sets Claire's teeth on edge. "Castiel said something like—it wasn't the first time he healed you?"

That's right, he did say that—and in front of everyone, because of course they all need to know about every horrible detail of Claire's life, she can't go around sharing things with people on her own fucking terms. Not enough for her to crack herself open and let Castiel back inside, is it? All he knows about her—from their time together, and after that—it's his to keep, and he can divulge it at a whim to whomever he chooses. Maybe that's why he brought it up to begin with: as blackmail.

"I thought you hadn't seen him," Jesse continues, tentative. "Since he...since you were young. I thought that was why you left home?"

Claire says nothing.

Finally, Jesse blows out a sigh that fogs the air around them. "All right," he says. "None of my business, I guess. Sorry." And he must be, for Claire feels no pain behind the word.

Still—Claire hurt his feelings, she can tell. After all, it must have seemed like a nice, private moment to divulge a secret. But he's right: it's none of his fucking business. She never told anyone about that night, not even Ben, and she's sure as hell not about to start now just because Castiel spilled the beans. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. None of it matters except getting Ben back. So that this—the grave, the body beneath it, this mockery of a fucking funeral—none of it has to come to pass.

Jesse lifts his head to look above him. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but seems to think better of it, clamping his jaw shut and shaking his head. He takes a deep breath and holds it—to, perhaps, the count of four—and then at last says, "It'll be all right."

Following his line of sight, Claire spies a dark shape among the branches, swaying in the wind. Ben's bracelet, tied firmly around the lowest, closest branch to the grave. Small wonder she didn't hear it, with the rest of the tree sitting here singing so loudly it covers the sound.

She had wondered where it went.

Jesse turns away from it. "I'm freezing," he says finally, and gives Claire an expectant look. "Coming?"

Claire hesitates.

Something in Jesse's posture changes—the angle of his shoulders, perhaps. It's hard to tell in the dark. "All right," he says again. "I'll, uh. Be inside. If you need me."

She suspects it's Jesse who needs her, at the moment—even with the traps broken, he can't possibly enjoy being back in that house alone—but after a long silence, he goes on ahead without her.

When at last he disappears between the trees, Claire looks back up at the bracelet.

How she used to hate that thing, when she and Ben first met—a constant whining at the edge of her subconscious, reminding her that Dean Winchester's boy was nearby, a son in name whether or not that righteous blood was flowing through his veins. But just as she eventually took a liking to Ben, so too did she learn to like the sound. Some nights, after the grace sickness got bad, it was the only thing that let her drop off to sleep. Now it's entombed here just like Ben is, singing its song to no one.

A funeral. What do you say at a funeral?

Claire has only ever been to one funeral: the one she and her mother held a year after her father's first disappearance, just before Castiel. It was for closure, her mother said—to let go, move on, and leave the rest in the hands of the Lord. Even at age eleven, Claire had understood that the funeral was mostly for her mother, and so she let her mother do the talking.

And not two weeks after they laid her father to rest, he turned back up on their doorstep, Castiel and the Winchesters not far behind. The whole time they were letting him go, he was still out there, chained to a comet, lost inside that screaming light and condemned to a fate worse than death.

Claire didn't go to any more funerals after that, not even her mother's. A funeral isn't just letting go, it's giving up. And Claire's not going to give up on Ben, not when he still needs her help. All the years he stayed by her side when she gave him every reason to go, all the attempts she made to push him away that were met with his steadfast loyalty and patience—to repay that with a funeral is an insult.

Claire turns away from the grave. She will not mourn Ben. She will not.

The song of the palo santo grows fainter with each step she takes away from the tree. In her mind's eye Claire sees Ben's easy grin when he explained it to her for the first time, and then the lonely image of it stuck up among the tree branches, condemned to rot away in the elements after all the hard work Ben put into perfecting it. She thinks of the rest of her life, however many weeks or months she may have of it, spent in silence.

Claire stops.

This is not a funeral. This is not Ben's grave. He isn't gone, because she's bringing him back.

All at once Claire whirls, kicking up snow, and marches back up to the tree. It's nearly too high for her to reach, but after two tries Claire's hand closes around the branch and snaps it off completely. She pulls the bracelet off and tosses the branch carelessly to the ground. Now that she's touching the bracelet, she can differentiate its hum from the rest of the tree, and the song flows right up through her palm and into her bloodstream, momentarily cooling down her anger.

Claire's going to have to start wearing a jacket after all, she thinks, even as she slides the bracelet onto her own wrist. She can't let anyone see her wearing this.

She touches her fingers to the wood, and doesn't cry.

It's just like Jesse said: it'll be all right.

It'll be all right.

[thenextchapter22]

Obey Me Snippet

Helllooo! I am new and wanted to say hii and show my love with a small piece of a fic from my latest obsession Shall We Date?: Obey Me! This is something I am currently working on and it’s been a process but I want to share some of it with everyone! :D

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Author’s note: I plan on posting this to my ao3 eventually (not sure when). Please like and comment and let me know what you think! (PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORKS)

Major Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Eating Disorders

The premise: Mika (my ofc who is plus sized) couldn’t fit into her uniform skirt after some unexpected weight gain and was very upset so she texted Lucifer that she couldn’t go to RAD because she was sick. This is what follows. ENJOY~~

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There was a knock on her door. “Mika, may I come in?”

“Um… just a second,” she called out.

Frantic, Mika grabbed a pair of pants from the floor and threw them on. She would just have to fake it and hope.

Lucifer eyed her as soon as she opened her door. He did not look impressed, arms crossed in his RAD uniform. “You don’t look ill. What’s wrong?”

Shit. “I…”

“Yes?” he raised his brows, his lips pursing just so. Her mouth opened and nothing came out. He sighed. “Don’t waste my time. I have piles of paperwork to sign off on today.”

And that, right there, was all it took. She could not do it. She would not lie to him. She had done so once, with Belphie, and it turned out to be the worst choice she had ever made and it nearly ended up with her dead.

She sighed. “I can’t lie to you.”

He uncrossed his arms, and titled his head down at her. “Well, it seems you already did.”

She winced. “I know.” She invited him inside to talk, an inevitable really if she had thought more into it and just not sent the stupid text, and he sat on her bed. Mika sat beside him, silent for a few seconds. Hands in her lap, barely thinking of anything, simply gathering courage to speak her mind.

Before she could speak, Lucifer cupped her cheek, turning her head just so, and wiped his gloved thumb under her eye gently. The tense atmosphere he gave off was gone and in replace of that was concern, especially in his eyes which were almost always telling to her what he was feeling. “You were crying recently. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She sniffled. His hand was warm, and comforting. “It’s hard to say…”

He frowned. “Please understand that I will always be here for you, Mika. Whatever you need me to be for you I can, whether that’s a lover, or just somebody to talk with. You must know that. So tell me. Why can you not come to classes today? The sick excuse is something Mammon even rarely uses any longer.”

She just spit it out. “I’m…disgusting.”

“Mika!” He held her face tighter, and stared into her eyes with great intensity. It was like she could feel his eyes burning into her own, an invisible beam cutting into her deepest insecurity. Lucifer looked at her like she disappointed him and it ached.

“Do not ever speak of yourself that way again. I won’t tolerate lies.”

Mika’s emotions were going haywire. She was angry at him, angry at herself. “It’s not a lie, Lucifer.” She stood up, practically wrenching her face from his grip, and stormed over to her closet. She grabbed a RAD skirt and threw it onto the floor, and did it with several others, making a pile of discarded clothes as she ranted. “I’m fat as fuck right now! I can’t fit into any of my skirts for school and a button literally popped off of it. You know how long it took me to even cope with this overweight body I have?! Honestly I really don’t think I ever did! I’ve always been ugly. And I always will be ugly!”

He was at her side in seconds, holding her close, hushing her, pressing her face into his chest with his large hand. She sobbed into his arms, clutching the back of his jacket, albeit rubbing her wet snotty face into his nice uniform.

“My love, you are so, so beautiful. Your soul shines brighter than any other I have met. There is nothing I would not do to protect you from harm, even from your own foolish words.” She gasped as he said this, but he went on. “I don’t know what else I could say to make you love yourself like I do.” His fingers found her chin from where it was buried in his shirt, and he pulled her face to look up at him. There was something akin to pity, she assumed, lingering there in his expression. “You know I can and should punish you for this, correct? I have said many times I will not allow lies in this house.”

Her throat was tight, she could barely swallow. She nodded as best she could in her position. “Yes,” she murmured. It was what she dreaded. He did always comfort her, made her feel treasured, but in the moment she would feel ultimately continuously guilty for whatever she had done to deserve the reprimand.

“Good, as you well should. But,” he continued, “I believe you have punished yourself enough. I think I should show you just how much you mean to me instead. Show you just how absolutely stunning I think you are.” He went from punisher, to seducer in an instant.

“Wha—Lucifer!” She gasped as she was grabbed around her waist and tossed onto her bed, bouncing on the mattress. “What are you…”

He looked determined, and a bit mischievous which was one of her favorite Lucifer’s (up there with domineering). Those subtle shifts in his lips, and his brows, it took her some time to figure out just what each expression meant. “I adore you, Mika. Let me show you.”

She gulped, and nodded slowly. “Okay, show me.” She spoke quietly. If he wanted to touch her, let him. Maybe it would help her. She wouldn’t know until he tried.

Lucifer got to work on removing her clothing. First her shirt, which he gently unbuttoned and pulled over her head. She shook out the frizz that came with that and he smiled at her.

This moment felt so intimate, more than any of the last few times they had sex. The last time it was in celebration of an exam she got a near perfect score on and he praised her over and over again.

No, this moment felt almost virginal. She was in a bad place, and vulnerable to every word he would say. She realized this was almost like their first time, when he was gentle and slow with her despite her saying she had been with men before. But he didn’t care, because demons were not the same as human men.

She had been very shy then, but still a spitfire when told off. It was how she had always been. She was introverted at times, afraid to speak her mind in fear of rejection or failure, but then she was also adamant and spoke louder than any other on certain days and for certain things.

And with him, she could be innocent. She could be fierce. She could be anything she desired to be. He let her take control and let her be controlled whenever she wanted. Because she was a human and he was a demon; it was why he gave her a pact with him. To show ‘ultimate love’, Asmo once said to her. A pact from a demon was a bond not unlike love. It was, in fact, the greatest way to show it.

“Darling, pay attention now.”

Lucifer’s teasing voice had Mika startled, coming back from her thoughts. “Y-yes. Sorry.” She blushed.

He chuckled. “It’s quite all right, it’s positively endearing when your eyes glaze over as you think.”

His adept hands found her bra, hands stroking over her back and causing goosebumps before un-clasping, letting it fall and tossing it away. Her room wasn’t cold, Devildom never was really, but she felt her nipples harden instantly.

He stared at her for a moment, admiring the beauty of her pale voluptuous body, before he pushed her back onto the bed.

She went easily. Head cushioned by her pillows, she watched him lick his lips. His presence was calming, but had her nerves prickling in wonder at what he was going to do next. His uniform brushed against her nude upper half as he lowered his body over hers to kiss her mouth. The taste of him always made her feel lightheaded.

Her hands itched to touch him, but she kept them at her side, obedient. He always would tell her when she could touch, he had drilled that into her from day one, and she realized he probably wasn’t going to allow it today because he wanted to show her how much he “adored” her. She really knew him too well but that wasn’t something she would say aloud to him.

Lucifer was an amazing kisser, so much so that her thoughts were nonexistent as he licked against her lips before delving into her mouth. She focused on his vibrating hums tickling her lips, and listened to their soft moans melding together. He wasn’t overly gentle, but she had to press up against his mouth to feel a bit more of him, smell and taste him.

His hands found her breasts while he expertly used his tongue to brush against her own. He pinched her nipples, tugging the pert buds while cupping her tits with his bare hands—and when did that happen, fuck skin to skin contact was the best— causing her to exhale harshly into his own mouth as he bounced them a bit.

He leaned away for a second to say, “Ah, so soft in my hands.”

She squirmed. She was softer, and that meant fatter. “I know…” she said sorrowfully.

He pinched her nipple harshly then in reprimand, and she groaned, pushing her chest upward into the pressure. “No, darling. No.” He growled. “I love your body. Every single inch. And I meant I love how smooth your skin feels against my own.”

The hot mouth traveled down her neck, suckling more as it went, not enough to leave marks but enough to leave her breathless. He licked a line down from her neck which she happily bared for him. One hand left her breast to stroke over her waist, and in place of pinching fingers was his tongue and teeth. Tugging with fervor, suckling and getting her wet with his mouth. He blew against it, and she sucked in air, desperate sounding moans escaping her throat.

He moaned over her breast, his other hand squeezing her and flicking his thumb over her nipple repetitively. She felt it down to her toes and in her core, the tightness in her muscles from the attention. “This body is incredible, and mine to play with. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” Mika whispered, head tossed back. “It’s yours.”

“And I do not lie, Mika. Correct?”

“Uh-huh,” she agreed.

“Then listen to me. You are beautiful. You are sexy. I want you to know that you deserve to feel loved, by me, and by your own self.” She cried as he abruptly went to her neck to bite nearly enough to make her bleed.

Sliding down her body from her breasts, he kissed and bit softly at her flesh, tugging here and there with his blunt teeth. Above her belly button he suckled a bit, and then slipped down more. His elegant fingers found her pants zipper to pull it down, and then he was having her lift her lower half to slip her pants off until she was only wearing her underwear, which were boxer style to help suck in her stomach. The band rested just above her belly button.

When he moved to pull down her underwear, Mika reached a hand down to stop him instantly. “Please… I…” She bit her lip, unsure. She felt amazing, truly he was making her feel so good, but this was… this was hard to do.

His eyes shone with nothing but kindness, and he spoke with a tender tone. “My love, I want to worship this body. Let me?” He kissed above her waistband, lips hovering and breathe hot against her skin. The sensation had her eyes fluttering.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want it. Because who would turn down Lucifer Morningstar? No one with at least one brain cell. Having his hands and mouth and tongue and dick anywhere on or in her was nothing short of a miracle, and that was where the problem lay. Her insecurities took hold of her tight, and started to push away any of the desire she felt like burning hot coals inside.

His dark red irises gazed up at her as he spoke, “I want to devour you.”

She shivered and moaned. He was so sexy. Her core was leaking with each second he kept position over her lower half, and he could no doubt smell its wetness. But would he find her gross to look at? She wasn’t as pretty anymore with her pudge and fat belly.

He stayed where he was, fingers lightly scratching over her body, up and down on her thick thighs. She had no problem with big thighs, the more to pull others in close when fucking she thought. But bellies shouldn’t be so pudgy, and hips shouldn’t be so squishy. Especially when you were already a bigger sized human.

“Mika. I’ll ask again.” He spoke in a husky tone, and his tongue dipped against her for a quick second like a cat lapping up a droplet of milk. He grinned devilishly. “Can I eat your pussy?” he asked, and pressed his palm right against her core, rubbing it up and down over her underwear.

“L-lucifer!” she cried out. Fuck this, she couldn’t deny anymore her neediness. Her wants for him. Her insecurities would have to wait a fucking minute for her to have a great orgasm from the Prideful Avatar’s mouth. “Yes!”

“Hm, good girl, that’s what I like to hear.”

Her underwear was tore into bits in milliseconds, Lucifer’s demon claws being used of course. She had no time to react, as his mouth was on her and he was eating her like she was his last meal.

“Lu-lucifer, yes, so—Fuck!”

He lapped at her folds, and made lewd noises as he did so. He kept her open with one hand on her upper thigh, but realized soon that he did not need to and that hand went to play with her clit, index finger rubbing in circles, pressing down against it hard. Her legs had never spread so wide before as Mika gave him full access to all of her private area.

Mika’s hips buckled upwards, head rushing and static ringing sounds in her ears. The kisses to her mouth were nothing like what he was doing to her lower body. He licked over her in an oval pattern, tongue flat and then sharp and flickering like a snake. It danced over her clit for a moment and Mika bit her lip, but he soon focused on her entrance. He pursed his lips over it, humming and dipping the tip of his tongue into her just enough to open her up and make her gush into his awaiting mouth.

Lucifer’s mouth left you, and he suddenly pressed his fingers into her, Mika’s eyes watered and she cried out from the shocking pressure that was totally filing and fantastic. She clenched around him as he worked his two fingers in and out of her for a few quick bursts, then his tongue was pushing between the digits to open her more. His fingers and tongue worked together to get her ultimately wet and open, and he hummed some more, the vibrations of his sounds causing body spasms. The single finger on her clitoris rubbed back and forth demonically fast. She was stretched open so far.

“Ah! ‘S good!” She sobbed, limbs twitching, core tightening. She would come soon, but she held off, waiting. She was obedient for him, only for him. Permission was needed. She was in a totally different headspace, one she saved for these moments alone.

The finger on her clit turned into a thumb and forefinger pinching and rubbing together. His hand fondled one of her boobs, and she could smell herself from how close it was to her face. The musk made her wetter, if even possible. His tongue left her pussy and he licked over her labia while he squeezed her sticky tit, wet from her own fluids. She glanced down at him while she could, and saw his glimmering eyes and perfect mouth against her. His teeth found her clit then, and he licked and nibbled it, never picking just one sensation. She opened her mouth and let out soft puffs of air and shook her head back and forth from overstimulation.

She needed release. She wanted it so badly.

As if he read her mind, or maybe her body, he raised his head to say in a deep dark tone, “Mika, you may come,” before biting her clit and sucking wetly with fervor as fingers pumped in and out of her.

She convulsed on his mouth, legs pushed together enough to press him into her further. She moaned loudly as her orgasm spread over her entire body, sending shockwaves of pleasure.

Once she came down from the high, Lucifer moved away from her leaking pussy. He sat back on his knees between her spread legs, uniform looking perfect still. He licked his lips and smirked wickedly, fingers dancing over his plump mouth to suckle them. “My sweet tastes so sweet.”

She groaned. “Please no.” She threw her arm over her eyes. But admittedly, that was a hot image she would forever remember.

[demonicpiano]

Old Farts of Hearts

Cardverse (Hearts!) fic, baby!!

This fic is also available on my ff.net account.

~

"This is fucking ridiculous."

"Do we really have to do this?!"

"I don't know what's worse. Listening to you go on and on at these stupid 'family meetings,' or you making us group exercise like school children!”

"Look, Lovino, I am fully aware how you feel about getting off the couch for once, but it's important to stay healthy so you can look and feel good for your people!”

Lovino managed an angry huff of air as the four-man group of Hearts Royalty some-what jogged, some-what painstakingly shuffled down the palace's garden lane, "I already look good, damn it!"

“You have love handles."

"Shut up, stupid King! I'll give your face love handles!"

A lighter voice whined for breath, "That doesn't make a lot of sense..."

"Be quiet! Ugh!" The Ace of Hearts faltered to one side, "I have a fucking cramp in my leg now!"

King Ludwig muttered, "And that's my fault?"

An aged, gentler-than-anything voice from the small group behind him came up, "Are you going to be all right, Lovino?"

"Fine!" Lovino actually calmed for the Queen, "I just...I just want to go back to the palace already."

Ludwig felt three pairs of eyes on his backside.

"Ve, at least it's a nice day out?"

Nobody said anything else.

It was supposed to be a simple jog through the garden, down the forest trail, and around the palace gates. Flat pavement all around, nice cherry-blossom scenery, no topsy-turvy winds. Three sets of feet hit the ground in uneven beats, breaths catching for something, anything, as soft whines burnt the tortured souls.

Ludwig sighed and slowed to a stop.

"All right, I think that's enough for today."

His court let out cries of relief to the Heavens. Even his beloved Queen ducked his head as he stunted his hands against his knees. Ludwig felt his mouth pull down at the pitiful sight.

Jack Feliciano fell against a nearby tree and flapped a hand to his pinked face. "Oh, Gods! I feel like I'm in a pizza oven!"

It was a mild fall day.

Ludwig reminded his people, "We still need to make it back to the palace..."

Cue a chorus of wails and groans. Mostly from Lovino.

"I guess we can walk back this time, since you three seem a bit...winded." Ludwig coughed out, "Enjoy the weather while it lasts."

Feliciano peeled himself from nearly dying against that tree to hop, skip, and jump to latch onto his King's arm. "Oh, Ludwig is being nice to us today! Let's go pick some flowers and look at the clouds! And when we get back to the palace, we should put in an order for some gelato, as an award for our hard work!"

Queen Kiku smiled at the prospect. Lovino glared at the imperfections along the sidewalk.

Ludwig almost winced, "What hard work?!" Instead, he kept irritation to a minimum on his face and said, "No, I'm cutting our family exercise short today as we're running behind on that pile of tax-reforms in our office. Plus we have to wash up and dinner-"

Feliciano whined against his arm, "Oh, Ludwig! Please! It's a nice dessert to help us cool off!"

Lovino spat, "A stupid family exercise, then we're all going to sit down and go over taxes? What kind of sick kicks are you getting out of this?"

"I will not say I'm sorry, if that's what you're looking for." Still receiving dirty looks, Ludwig decided to bring out the trump card, "The old King let everyone do what they wanted, and how much of a mess everything inside the palace and out was, and still is, proves that!"

The group went quiet.

"If life in the palace is not up to par, what is to say for the rest of the Kingdom?For people that look up to us? To people that need us to be there for them?"

A chorus of, "Yes, Ludwig."

Quiet again, save for weary feet against gravel.

Feliciano perked up, "Gelato over important paperwork?"

Lovino shot the King a long side glance, perhaps hoping for some, too. The Queen kept to himself.

Ludwig relented, "Gelato after important paperwork."

"Oh, Ludwig! You're such a nice King!"

Ludwig sighed.

~.~

Tea down the hatch. Tie in place. Birds chirping. A soft, requited smile from the Queen across the breakfast nook. The morning was going well. Quiet.

Too quiet.

Heavy footsteps thundered to the Jack and Ace's shared room. Ludwig threw open the door with a roar, "What are you two still doing sleeping?! We're due at the King's Summit in less than an hour!"

A lazy hand lifted from Lovino's covers, "Yeah, yeah. King's Summit. You're a King. You go on ahead."

A blood vessel threatened to pop on Ludwig's forehead. "You've been asleep since dessert last night! It's not like you even stayed up late!"

"Ugh. You're like a living nightmare."

"Lovi!" Feliciano grumbled from his pile of blankets, "Could you keep it down? I'm trying to nap here!"

"Tell that to our idiot King!"

Ludwig proceeded to smack his head against the door frame several times. There was not going to be any gelato again tonight.

~.~

"Who put the tea cups with the wine glasses?!"

Some of the kitchen staff ducked behind the counters. Ludwig sent a sharp sweep of eyes their way. Being in the same room as those three other Kings clunking their heads together in hope of some intelligent idea made Ludwig's hopes and heart go cold.

"Hello?"

One of the maids approached, performing a quick bow. "Pardon me, sire! Jack Feliciano was the one who put the glasses away, and I did not correct him. He wanted to clean up a little, as it seems to make you happy! Sire."

Ludwig felt the furrow between his eyebrows lessen. "He did that? Hm, he didn't have to, but the effort is appreciated. However, there is a place for everything."

Another servant piped up, "Sire, we will try to find a step stool for future...mishaps."

Ludwig stared.

"He's short."

So was Kiku, and Lovino, too. Ludwig blinked once. "You're right about that. For now on, the wine glasses will be up top, so the more common cups will be accessible."

"Very good, sir!"

The kitchen crew let out pleased murmurs, even cracking smiles at their King. Over something this simple. "Right. Yes..."

"Sire?" One of the cooks wandered close. "If I may ask for a quick moment?"

"Yes?"

They pointed to a couple of other servants tearing up over a particularly stubborn trash bag that would not get of its bin. "None of us can get that out!"

"I will get it."

"Oh, many thanks, sir!"

"I knew the King could do it! He is very strong!"

Ludwig pleaded, "Please don't mention it."

~.~

"I don't get it. Everything they disciplined me for. Anything that could happen. Anything that should happen. All that training...!" A bewildered King sat before the fireplace in his bedroom. His Queen was in place against his arm, nodding in beat to the haunt of flames in his piercing blues. "Not just the brothers. The staff, the servants, everything that was insisted upon me, in day-to-day life, is just not there. You've been around a little longer than I have. Do you know the reason for these...odd remarks and behavior?"

Kiku rumbled in amusement without opening his eyes to the fire's warmth, "I've been around a lot longer than you have in a sense, my love. Even when I was still a Spadian, we would hear stories of the old King, his obscene desire to party and spend every gold piece he had on drink and elaborate pranks. He was even barred from the King's Summit, if that gives you more insight."

Ludwig hung his head. "That is a dark mark on our past. He had everything at his disposal, every piece of Hearts history, all the old Royals' stories, their ways of life, what was wrong, what was right, all under his fingertips, and yet look what he did instead. Leaving me with a Kingdom nearly in shambles and begging for respite."

When Kiku stayed quiet, snippets zipped through Ludwig's mind, and he tried to reason with them, "Perhaps the lack of a Queen to keep him in check, or to make up for the gap? Blatant denial or refusal to accept the responsibilities? A deeper, more profound illness? Maybe if we dig into that, it could give us an insight to why things are like they are today-"

"He didn't have love."

Stress sizzled to nothing in Ludwig's headspace.

Kiku opened his eyes, gazing contently at the side of his husband's face. "No Queen to love, to love for his Kingdom." He delicately place a hand to Ludwig's, always careful, "No one to show him the beauty of such, perhaps?"

It seemed only the Queen of Hearts could cast that spell, to melt the ice over Ludwig's face, to make him smile like the love-struck fool he found himself to be. "Something so simple?"

"Is it really, though?"

"Not at all."

Kiku touched his man's cheek, bringing their foreheads together. "I think you should show Lovino and Feliciano love, too."

"You think?" Ludwig ducked away, choked up at the thought. Yikes. "Yes, maybe...maybe I been too rough with them, and that makes them pull the other way."

"A King needs respect and love to thrive. I would give you both, if it were in my power. If it were enough to power the entire Kingdom."

They drew close again, embracing one another and the fire, "It is enough to power me."

"And you're enough to power the Kingdom."

[scummy-writes]

Hello~ ^^ for fun can I request what if the rfa members met Mc under different circumstances, such as not from her joining the chat but other ways. Maybe she worked briefly at Jumin's company for example or helped checked up on Elizabeth when she was ill (idk u go nuts on the circumstances) but after all of that, just for fun, what if when they were all chatting in the chatroom they found out they all met her in one way or another. I just wonder how they would of react to mc under normal yknow

_φ(*￣ω￣)ﾉ This is cute, and I usually have a few guilty pleasure daydreams of this happening to me. I can’t think of a scenario of them all knowing her. Maybe if this was all the same person? And just stretched over a time of a few months so it makes sense?

Zen

- He usually went to a local gym to work out with the machines he couldn’t afford. I mean, he’s gotta look nice, right?

- He wasn’t used to seeing women there, and he definitely wasn’t used to seeing women in baggy clothes staring at the machines

- He didn’t give it much thought. You were trying to build up some confidence- You’d get on it eventually! But he wasn’t going to stare. He needed to hurry up. He didn’t have long to work out today.

- Over the next few days, he always saw you shyly attempting to get on the machines, but he never saw you get on one

- One day, he saw you sitting on a bench outside, just looking down and thinking

- “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” 

- You looked a little spooked, but you nodded and he sat down beside you and introduced himself.

- The two of you sat quietly for a moment, before he finally decided on what to say.

- “You know, I’ve noticed you looking at the machines. I just want you to know that no one is going to judge you here, okay? Some other gyms may, but this one has been the kindest I’ve been to.”

- You didn’t really react much, just kinda still stared at your feet with a blush on your face

- “Hey, listen. I know it’s scary, and I know you’re worried of what people may think. But if anyone says anything bad, just find me! I usually come around this time every day! I can help you figure out some of the machines, alright?”

- You finally looked at him and gave him a small smile. You looked a little sad, but he hoped his words helped.

- That day you ended up excusing yourself (with a thanks) and heading on home

- But the next day he didn’t see you. Or the day after that.

- He chalked it up to you just being too shy. Which was fine- No one really liked showing off at the gym unless they were in super great shape.

- He thought about you from time to time, but imagine his surprise when the girl in the chatroom knew him after he sent a selfie!

- He was...actually really happy to know you were doing okay. He was worried about you after how sad you looked!

Yoosung

- He never really paid attention in most of his classes

- Sure, he tried! But...He was tired, and zoned out a lot.

- He knew you from his sociology class. He thought it’d be neat, but he ended up not understanding most of it.

- You, though, were one of the few people that actually spoke up in the class. Debated certain subjects with the teacher- asked really good questions

- And you were one of the people who didn’t let the teacher know he forgot homework, even though you talked to him so much.

- Basically, he thought you were really smart. But...Totally out of his league. Girls like you never really played video games, or liked guys who played...

- (He got himself a little annoyed thinking about that, he was in the middle of class! No time to get sad!!)

- The two of you ended up bumping into each other in the library one day. There was one copy of a certain book the sociology class wanted you to write a paper on. And it was due tomorrow!

- Of course you had it, and he was stuck trying to thumb through his phone or other books to hopefully just get a snippet of information he could use for his paper.

- “Yoosung?”

- He nearly yelped. He wasn’t expecting anyone to talk to him! Even you, for that matter!

- “Are you working on the paper too? I can share this book with you, if you need it. Maybe we can help each other out?”

- You were his fucking savior.

- The two of you ended up spending a few hours working on the essay- You even helped him with his if he promised to proof-read yours. He was lowkey kind of jealous that you did your papers at last minute, but got a better grade than him.

- But afterwards, he was just too shy to try talking to you again

- So when he heard your name in the chat, he went off on how he knew a girl by the same name

- “Oh, I know a guy named Yoosung too! We, ah, don’t really talk, but he’s in one of my classes.”

-”...Sociology?”

-”OMG”

- Now he was even more determined to try and talk to you

Seven

-Look, he had to get all that Dr Pep from somewhere

- He was a regular at the little grocery store you worked in. He usually came around the same time, always paid with cash, and almost always got a shitton of Dr Pep

- God forbid you guys have a sale on it

- But he was nice, sweet. Always cracking jokes, always willing to try and make you laugh if you were looking rough

- There were a few times when he’d step in-between a you and an angry customer, and you were always so thankful because he usually made a dumb joke or two to lighten up the situation

- Pretty soon he had learned your name, and he usually came through your line, because you’d actually laugh at his jokes

- (I mean, the others did too, but your reaction to his horrible puns was a groan and a facepalm- He loved it)

- “I got all my dr pep to put a pep in my step!”

- “Man...Man, come on. I mean, I just had two buggies worth of groceries. You’re gonna do this to me?”

- Huge shit eating grin. Of course he was!

- When he finds out it’s you in the chatroom, he instantly wants to protect you even more.

- And, of course, the puns are now neverending. He had a list saved up for you, buddy, you were never going to escape them now

Jaehee

- Sometimes, when you were in need of good coffee and free wifi, you stopped at a local coffee shop. You’d spend a while in there, and occasionally you’d run into this very busy woman.

- Okay, moreso you thought she was cute, so you lowkey looked at her every now and then the few times your paths crossed

- She’d usually get coffee and something small, sit, and pour over paper work while chugging that damn coffee down like a pro

- The two of you only interacted once- It was a crowded day and you were sitting at the only table that had an extra seat, so...She asked to join you

- You stuttered while saying yes, but she didn’t question it.

- She did catch you glancing at her every now and then, and she eventually called you out on it.

- “I’m just curious, I’m sorry.”

- “No, it’s fine. It’s just a few reports for the company I work at. I have to go in soon, but the office is out of good coffee, so...”

- The two of you talked a bit, not too much because she needed to focus on her work, but it was safe to say you had a huge crush on her

- She might have thought it was a bit cute you were so curious about her

- So when she sees the messages saying that you remember who she is, from the coffee shop, she is blushing like mad

- Someone remembers her? Her??

- But she’s secretly happy. Is this a chance to get a friend for the first time?

Jumin

- Granted, you didn’t work right beside him, but you worked in a department that knew his name....very....very...well.

- Nevermind the fact it was mainly tossed around like a curse

- I mean... Jaehee wasn’t the only one who had to deal with the cat projects he wanted to do

- You were decent at your job! Still young, still struggling with being an intern, the first time you ever had a serious job like this

- So the first time you bumped into him in the elevator, you tried your best not to stutter as you greeted him.

- “What department do you work in?”

- (The department that hates your fucking guts)

- “Oh, Uhm. The one you created, for your, erm, personal projects.”

- “Ah, how is the wine going?”

- “It’s...It’s going, haha. I’m actually turning a report in now.”

- (God, why were elevators so slow??)

- “Oh, you write the reports?”

- “Well...A lot of them, not all of them.” You thought about some of the harsh notes he had left on them, and tried not to break a sweat

- “I see, well. They’re all very good in the end. I appreciate the work your group is doing.”

- And bam, the elevator stopped for you and you just. Booked it.

- (Where the fuck are your anxiety meds holy fuck)

- When you enter the chatroom, and see it’s him, you are already kissing your future job goodbye. He was going to fire you so fast

- But.... he didn’t recognize you. Not by your name alone, at least

- When Seven pointed out you worked for him, Jumin just...Left the chatroom

- (The next time he got on, he had already read through your resume twice and talked about your current absence as well with your dept.)

[klonoadreams]

WIP SNIPPETS

Got tagged by @isle3cho to share some of my WIPs, and I decided, YOU KNOW WHAT, LET’S FUCKING GO. Read on if you wanna see things you haven’t seen in a while, because this is just SOME of them.

1. I Don’t Even Go Here chapter 2

Panna Tartt is an unremarkable four-year-old girl, whose fifth birthday is a few months away. She is so unremarkable, that it surprises Geordo with how much he tries to plan out future meetings with her.

It isn’t that difficult to get Alan involved by taking advantage of how easily his demands are met in order to get Panna back in the garden. The garden, after all, is where they promised they’d meet again, should the chance ever arise again. And, well…here they are again.

As before, Panna has a box of macarons with her to snack on. Though, this time, she has another box with her—filled with various colorful cookies, in the shape of flowers. She gifts it to Geordo, as an apology of sorts for getting his name wrong.

“No hard feelings, right, Gandalf?” And yet, she still gets it wrong.

“It’s actually Gil,” Geordo plays along, for the time being. Surely, she’s bound to get it right, yes?

2. Also-Ran Chapter 7

And I guess Opal has me, and the rest of my family. She’s had a rather warm reception to them, despite the close calls we’ve had with Bayonetta, whenever she worked up the energy to leave the Glimwood Tangle (usually to just drag me back into the forest, or just have me within her sight).

It’s not that Bayonetta has done anything harmful to the inhabitants of Ballonlea. It’s more that shit gets pretty quiet whenever she shows up, due to the reputation she’s built for herself over the years. Basically, everyone is afraid of her, and it’s kind of, sort of the reason why I haven’t made any new friends…

So that’s a thing, yes.

“I’m sure things will change over time,” Annette tells me as she helps me stretch out my body for today’s ballet lesson. “And if not…well, at least you have Raihan.”

“You’re right.” I do have Raihan…and I also have Pokémon, so I’m doing miles better than I’ve ever done in my past life, where I bumbled the fuck around until high school. Middle school was fine, though I still had some hiccups, here and there. We…don’t talk about elementary school.

The less said, the better, and I’m just hoping to be left alone once school starts, and I head off to Hammerlocke’s Trainer School. I’m really banking on the being in the same class as Raihan…

Chairman Rose, don’t fail me now!!

3. Gone Fishing chapter 11

“She’s so small,” Sanji remarks as he watches Regina shred a piece of fish that I’ve left out for her.

“Probably a runt,” Law says.

“We did get her at a lower price.” Not that I don’t mind or anything, I just liked her pink skin, since it was so pretty… Plus, her being a lot smaller than usual makes it a lot easier for me to carry her around.

“Runts don’t last long…” Sanji frowns, looking almost as though he was talking from experience…which is concerning.

Do I want to know?

“They don’t last because people don’t care about them!” I’ve seen my third oldest brother raise an abandoned kitten into adulthood, despite being told that it probably wouldn’t live long because of how small it was. “All they just need is love!”

Sanji blinked. “Love…”

“Love goes a long way!” I know it doesn’t always work, but dammit—I’m gonna try my best to keep Regina alive. “Still doesn’t mean you can’t be nice.”

As if to prove my point, I gave Law a few affectionate pats on the back. I also did the same with Sanji, since he looked a bit left out.

Not on my fucking watch!

There’s still a lot I don’t know about Den Den Mushi, so I’m doing my best to learn from Regina. She hates loud noises, so she’ll retreat into her shell if it gets too loud. She’ll come out immediately if you mention food or offer some to her. She’ll bite without warning if you annoy her in any way. Otherwise, she’s pretty chill…

So long as you don’t get in the way of her food—she’s pretty serious about food.

I love her so much.

I’ve been keeping an eye on the types of foods she especially likes. She’ll spit out anything that has even the vaguest trace of salt. In small amounts, salt isn’t that harmful to Den Den Mushi. Corazon demonstrated that by letting his own Den Den Mushi consume the food that Regina had rejected.

That’s a fucking relief.

I almost thought that I poisoned Regina in some way. I didn’t—it’s gonna take a lot more salt than what was in the fish I shared with her to actually do any damage. Still, it’s better to be safe than sorry, so I’ve decided not to take too many chances after that. I think that worked in my favor, since it limited the types of food I could introduce to Regina.

So it was a lot easier to figure out which foods she liked best and which ones she liked the least. Cucumbers are her favorite food, so I’ve been using them to teach her a few tricks.

“Upupupu.” I held a slice of cucumber just above Regina, trying my best to motivate her in my attempts to teach her how to speak.

It’s like teaching a parakeet to speak—it takes a lot of time and patience to make any progress. Fortunately, I had a lot of time and Law definitely had the patience I lacked. Sanji was somewhere in the middle, usually distracting Regina when things were starting to get boring.

That’s how we discovered how perceptive she actually is, when Sanji would hide a small shell under a bowl and then shuffle it around with other identical-looking bowls. Every time, Regina would find the shell—even when Sanji was able to pull a sleight of hand to trick her (the shell was in his pocket). It was honestly mind-boggling…

So you can fucking bet that we used that to our advantage!

And that’s how we got grounded for a week!

4. Tempting Fate chapter 5, brought to you by Miura-sensei’s death

“Can’t sleep?” That same, freckle-faced boy from earlier has now joined her side by the campfire, giving her a reassuring smile that lowers her guard somewhat. His name is Judeau, and he looks exactly the way that Casca remembers, give or take a growth spurt. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“Not right now.” Just the thought of talking about it makes her ill. Will she cry? Will she scream? Or will she just pretend it never happened, despite the way her body won’t stop shaking, each time someone gets close to her?

Casca doesn’t want to know—she’ll leave that discovery for another day, when she decides to confide in someone. Should she ever decide to do so, that is.

“Well, then…would it make you feel any better if I said it gets easier?” The comment earns him a swipe from Casca, which he skillfully avoids by catching her hand in his. “Guess that’s a no.”

Casca doesn’t want it to get easier. Doesn’t want to think of the blood that will eventually cover her hands… It’s a terrifying thought that she wishes to keep out of her mind for as long as possible, while she is still too new to the concept of taking another’s life. She knows it’s a useless endeavor, but she doesn’t care.

There is just a childish part of herself that wants to cling to whatever remains of her innocence…

“It helps not to think about it, then,” Judeau tells her as he releases her hand. “You shouldn’t worry yourself over someone like that.”

“I know.” But her stupid brain won’t stop tormenting her, making her relive that moment over and over again, as thought it happened seconds ago instead of hours.

“Since we’re about the same size, Griffith put me in charge of your training.” He smiles as he ruffles her hair. “It’s not going to be easy, but you more than proved yourself capable. In fact—some of the guys are afraid of you.”

“Is that so?” Maybe that’s why not many of them had approached her, save for Judeau, who is proving to be a very strange boy. “Guess they saw what I did to that guy…”

It’s hard to ignore the damage she had done to him, after all.

“He definitely deserved it.” Judeau is stating the obvious to Casca, but his words reassure her anyways.

5. UNTITLED DOCUMENT, currently named NOCTURNE right now

You know things are going great for you when you wake up without a shirt on. It gets even better when you decide to check what’s inside your shorts, out of sheer curiosity.

Of course, I am being completely sarcastic, because I cannot even begin to describe the sight that I see before me.

“What the actual fuck.” It refuses to be perceived. How exactly is it doing that?

[REDACTED.]

I have absolutely no clue.

[REDACTED.]

It’s like the words are being deleted from my mind, the instant I try to think of something.

[REDACTED.]

Honestly, if it wasn’t for this massive headache bogging me down, I’d be freaking out a lot more than I am right now. Like, fucking ow!!

“Uugh…” It feels like something is trying to claw its way out of my brain… “These are new.”

Don’t know how long they’ve been there, but I’ve only just notice them. Let’s forget about the partial nudity and whatever eldritch horror lives in my shorts for one brief moment. Instead, let’s talk about where in the hell did these tattoos come from, because these weren’t here before.

“Hello?” They’re glowing, too!! “Biiitch…”

tagging... I guess @rinastray :D

[yon-nyan]

Summer 2017 Anime Previews

The Summer Anime season is just around the corner with shows starting up in less than a month. When I was asked about this impending season’s shows and what I was planning on watching, I had realised that I had absolutely no bloody idea what there was to watch! So, I sat down and flipped through the Summer’s current catalogues and compiled a small list of anime serials that appealed to me the most. As we get closer to July, I’m sure that more serials will sprout up and this list may grow here and there, so I’m going to keep an open mind and not lock myself down.

Today’s post is a basic introduction of some of the shows that sounded interesting (to me). These are not first impressions or anything like that. I won’t be sharing those until the first two weeks of the Summer season. If y’all would like one long Summer First Impressions post versus posts on individual serials, please let me know down below so I can prepare accordingly. Thank you! ♥

Welcome to the Ballroom (Ballroom e Yōkoso)

Studio: Production I.G.

Based off a manga series written by Tomo Takeuchi

Comedy, Sports, Drama

The story follows a boy named Tatara Fujita who, after a chance encounter, finds himself knee deep in the world of ballroom dancing.

Musings: I feel like this could be one of those shows where you expect ridiculous crap, but it can surprise you. I also really enjoy ballroom dancing, so I figured why not give it a shot. Also, I’m a whore for Production I.G.

Release: 08-Jul-2017

A Centaur’s Life (Centaur no Nayami)

Alternate name: Centaur’s Worries

Studio: Haoliners Animation League

Based off a manga series written by Kei Murayama

Supernatural, Slice-of-Life, Comedy

This is a show about a group of mythological creatures, such as centaurs, satyrs, mermaids, demons, and other humanoid creatures, who all live a very normal life together. They go to school, formulate friendships, and fall in love.

Musings: Feel-good type of shows are some of my favourite things, and sometimes school-life shows can fulfil that love that I have. I also really love mythological creatures. So if you slap the two of them together, naturally my interest will be piqued!

Release: 09-Jul-2017

Clione’s Light (Clione no Akari)

Studio: drop

Originally it was an illustrated online novel by Natural Rain

Slice-of-Life

There is a very sickly young girl, who one days falls ill and finds herself hospitalised. After two months of being in the hospital, two of her closest friends from school receive a mysterious e-mail, from an unnamed and unknown sender, telling them of a summer festival coming up in a nearby town.

Musings: The snippet was so vague that it somehow appealed to me. Is it going to be a slice-of-life? Will there surprise fantasy elements? How about a crazy ass plot twist no one will see coming? Curiosity definitely got a hold of this cat.

Release: July 2017

Dive!!

Studio: Zero-G

Originally a novel (not light novel) series by Eto Mori

Sports

Story focuses on the Mizuki Diving Club, which is experiencing some difficult times and at risk of losing their sponsorship. The sponsor gives them one year to make some significant changes and growth. They hire a new coach and diligently work towards sending one of their members off to the Olympics… all within the one year time span allotted.

Musings: Initially, I thought it would be a silly swimmer boys show. But the snippet seems really promising and more serious than other sports shows recently. Also, I’ve discovered that I’m enjoying anime that focuses on the technical aspects of working life, or recreation (i.e.: Sakura Quest).

Release: 06-Jul-2017

Restaurant to Another World (Isekai Shokudō)

Studio: Silver Link

Originally a novel (not light novel) series written by Junpei Inuzuka

Fantasy

In a poor corner of the local shopping district lies a Western-style restaurant called Yōshuku no Nekoya (Western Cuisine Cat Restaurant). During its business hours, Monday through Friday, it serves normal food to normal folks. The restaurant is normally closed on weekends and holidays. However, on Saturdays it secretly opens its doors to very unique and unusual clientele with a very unique and unusual menu to match.

Musings: Neko is in the name that means that these clientele have to be CATS!! At least that’s what I’m hoping for. I’m shameless when it comes to my obsessive love for the feline folks. Cats aside, I like fantasy and the series looks pretty, so not give it a try?

Release: 03-Jul-2017

Cleanliness Boy! Aoyama-Kun (Keppeki Danshi! Aoyama-kun)

Studio: Studio Hibari

Based off of a manga series written by Taku Sakamoto

Comedy, Seinen

The anime follows a young soccer genius named Aoyama, who also happens to be completely obsessed with cleanliness!

Musings: I felt a strong Sakamoto-kun desu ka?! vibe from this at first, and I didn’t really care for that show. But as someone who’s also quite passionate about cleanliness, I figured I may be able to relate to the humour at the very least (and maybe acquire some new methods of cleaning… no, really).

Release: 02-Jul-2017

Netsuzō Trap

Studio: Creators in Pack TOKYO

Based off of a manga series written by Kodama Naoko

Romance, Shōjo, Yuri

Yuma and Hotaru have been friends since childhood. One day Yuma gets asked out by a boy and she agrees to go out with him. Nervous about her first date, she asks Hotaru to tag along with her. Afterwards, Yuma is quite nervous about kissing a boy for the first time and experiencing everything that goes with it. To encourage her friend, Hotaru tells Yuma that she can practice with her. After they share a kiss, Yuma begins to feel conflicted feelings for both her new boyfriend and her best friend, Hotaru.

Musings: It’s been so long since I’ve read/watched a Yuri series. It looked pretty and the premise sounded a bit fascinating to me. Also, it would be nice to watch a Queer show that I may be able to relate to on one level or another.

Release: July 2017

Vatican Miracle Examiner (Vatican Kiseki Chōsakan)

Studio: J.C. Staff

Originally a light novel series written by Rin Fujiki

Mystery

The story revolves around two individuals, Hiraga Josef Kō and Robert Nicholas, who work for an organisation within the Vatican called The Sea of the Saints (Seito no Za). This organisation is dedicated to investigating alleged miracles.

Musings: I love mysteries, especially in anime, and there’s not enough great ones (at least I haven’t seen/discovered many of them). Also the entire premise sounds really intellectual (I’m hoping) and appealing to me. Did I mention that I’m a whore for J.C. Staff as well?

Release: 07-Jul-2017

Kobini Kareshi

Studio: Studio Pierrot

An original anime series.

Slice-of-Life

The show follows six high schoolers around a local convenient store on their way home from school, chit-chatting about life and meeting girls they all like.

Musings: I LOVE simple, mundane stories that focus on everyday theatrics, especially when they are relatable and cosy. I have a feeling this will be one such show.

Release: July 2017

That does it for this post. What are some anime releasing during Summer 2017 that you’re excited about?

[anavoliselenu]

Manwhore chapter 8

“You never stop working, do you?” he interrupts, scowling a little. “In that sense, you’re like me.”

I scowl too. “You’re answering with a question.”

“You’re not asking the right questions.”

“God, Justin! Why do you like to tease me so much?”

Laughing, he leans closer, until his face is level with mine and I can smell the soap on his skin. He holds me by the chin with the pad of his thumb and forefinger. “Why do you blush every time I do?”

“My skin is white, it’s almost translucent. I blush easily.”

“I only see you blush with me.”

His eyes are both comforting and disturbing, hot and cold, closed off at the same time they seem to be stripping me. “Do you think about me, Selena?”

“At work, yes. I think about you in the office. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Partly, yes. I think about you in the office too, but I also think about you in bed.”

“Justin, the commissioner would like to speak with you. Miss Livingston, I’m Dean.”

I’m so hot right now, I’m mortified I get to meet Justin’s PR person like this, but I shake his hand nonetheless and try to act calm and collected, not in the least Justin-affected. “Dean, oh yes, so nice to meet you.”

Justin extracts the badge from my grip. “Press time is over,” he informs me. All the cold has fled his eyes; they look beyond warm, blazing like fireballs as he looks at me. “Take care of her, Dean.”

“I will.”

He goes inside.

Dean and I soon follow.

I ask Dean how long he’s worked at M4, how the hiring process was. We’re talking about his job, and how impressed I am with Interface, when I spot a familiar face across the room. I stiffen when the hawklike, tiny pointy nose and the long dark hair register in my brain. Victoria?

Her eyes widen from across the room, and she points at me, to my complete and utter horror. She starts charging over.

“Selena?” she calls.

God, seeing a colleague from Edge, one whom I don’t trust and one who knows exactly what I am doing here, I did not expect to feel so small.

I brace myself for a second, then I stand to greet her.

Playing the perfect innocent, she seems absolutely delighted as I perform a quick, perfunctory introduction to Dean.

“Dean, wow, and you’re Justin’s PR person?”

“Victoria . . . meet me at the ladies’? Dean, will you excuse us?”

I try to appear calm and mermaid-like as I start in the direction of the restrooms, keeping my eyes ahead while Victoria walks smugly next to me.

Even the way she walks is like she’s having sex with the floor or something.

“Justin is absolutely eating you with his eyes. Why aren’t you clinging to him, chatting him up?” Victoria says when we’re finally in the ladies’.

I make sure that all the stalls are vacant, then go to the sink and open the water.

“It isn’t like that.”

“What? It isn’t like what? Like that dress isn’t begging to be peeled off—”

“Shhh!” I glance around at the stalls, checking a second time that they’re empty.

She follows and inspects every one of them herself. “Don’t worry, I’m not telling. Helen will kill me if this blows up.”

I rub my temples and sigh. “Can you explain to me what you’re doing here?”

“I called a few of my contacts when I heard you weren’t on the press list. I wanted to get the deets.”

“The deets on what, Victoria? I’m here. This is my . . . I’m here. And it’s all under control.”

She eyes me dubiously. “Okay. Well then.” She makes a ceremony out of washing her hands, taking forever to pat them dry. Then she checks her makeup. “I suggest you go out there and use your feminine wiles. You’re a woman, a pretty one. And in case you haven’t noticed, every other woman out there is giving Justin come-hither looks but you.”

She leaves.

I stand there, looking at myself in the mirror. I’ve lost all semblance of color from my face. I feel physically ill. I’m certain that if I walk out there, Justin will see right through me. He’ll know what I want from him, that I want everything including his secrets, and he’ll know why I shouldn’t have kissed him the way I did at the Interface building. What we did there felt so intimate to me, so . . . so unprofessional on my part, considering what I have to do.

All my insecurities rising to the surface, I call for a cab with my cell. I wait a few minutes, then slip out of the bathroom and find one of the women from the press-badge table.

“Could you please tell Mr. Justin that the woman whose badge he has in his pocket had to leave, she wasn’t feeling well?” I ask her, grateful when she agrees.

Outside, my cab is waiting across the street, and I leap over a few puddles and climb inside, the bottom of the dress completely ruined. I thank the driver when I get home, then I pull off my dress and my shoes, slip into my Northwestern T-shirt, and sit on the bed, motionless, thinking and feeling blank and numb.

I never thought I would ever do anything to hurt somebody. I always thought I was on the good guys’ side, on the side of rightness. Seeing Victoria today while I was both working and not working made me see what I am. What I’m doing.

I’m a hypocrite. I’m . . . a liar.

That little game bullies try to make you play when you’re a little kid—if you were forced to kill one to save the other, your mom or your dad, who would you choose? Sometimes in life you have to make a choice like that, a decision so hard you can’t make it, you would rather sacrifice yourself. But that still means Edge goes down.

I peer into Gina’s room, but she’s not back yet. I go back to my fetal position on the bed and I turn on a local gossip show on television, trying to distract myself.

“Tonight at the Interface inaugural, Justin Justin speaking . . .”

A snippet from a while ago appears, and my stomach tumbles as if I’ve just taken a steep drop on a roller coaster. The video cuts back to the news anchor and an image of us, Justin and me, as he took my hand and led me to the terrace.

OHMIGOD!

“A young lady’s early departure is causing confusion among the press; this is the image taken earlier of Justin with her, arousing much speculation as to whether Justin’s got his eye on her. Early word is that she’s a member of a small magazine in the area but wasn’t on the scene as press. First time ever Justin’s been linked to a reporter. It will be interesting to watch future developments.”

“Agreed,” the coanchor says.

“Ohmigod!” I turn off the TV, toss the remote aside, and cover my face in my hands. I’m breathing in and out, in and out, when my cell phone vibrates. It’s Helen.

You’re on the news. Vicky texted. Said he looks absolutely hooked? I’m impressed

I groan, “I’m going to throw up now.”

Sick with self-loathing over my disgusting duplicity, I grab a pillow and bury my head there. I don’t answer Helen. I delete her text instead, then I reach for my lifeline, the only thing that has kept me going when it’s gotten rough:

Love you, Momma

14

AFTER THE PARTY

My mother’s probably asleep. She hasn’t answered. I still feel like shit. Hell, I am shit. Groaning, I pull my T-shirt over my knees and wrap my arms around my legs; then I bury my face there. I’ve been here for a while when I hear the downstairs buzzer. I’m not answering. I really am not.

The third time it buzzes, I give up and go answer from the kitchen. “Yes?”

“It’s me.”

Justin.

I glance frantically around the place I share with Gina. It’s in a Chicago factory-turned-apartment building. The doors to our bedrooms are both in a short hall, one on the right side, one to the left. Painted wooden bookcases and framed metal columns stand between the kitchen and living room. We have a hole in the wall between the dining room and the pantry, and the cheapest alternative we could think of at the time was to hang a huge whiteboard over it on the dining room side, where we write things when we get drunk or just feel like it. It used to be my idea board, but the girls hijacked it.

It’s . . . home. My home. What will he think of it?

This apartment is my pride, my little spot of peace, and now HE will be in it, and it will be intense. It’s been a while since my friends and I have had this conversation, but no man has crossed the sacred barrier of my apartment threshold. Ever. He’s the first. The very first.

I’m nervous about him seeing my place, my safe zone, my pride and joy, through eyes that have seen far too much of the world. Far more than me. What is pretty to me may be simple and uninteresting to him.

“C’mon up,” I murmur and buzz him in, then hurry back to my bedroom, slipping on some leggings and exchanging my T-shirt for a long blouse, checking my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Sighing in despair over my swollen eyelids, I scrub my face with soap and head to the door. He’s waiting outside when I open it, leaning against the wall, one hand in his pocket, staring down at his shoes, his eyebrows furrowed.

He looks up at me. My legs feel paralyzed, as if they’re not getting enough blood. He doesn’t know how monumental it is for me to step back and wave him inside. God, he looks so good—as good as he did minutes or hours ago—that I almost trip on the rug.

“Do you want coffee?”

He glances around my place with a nod.

His tie is unfastened and hanging around his neck, the top buttons of his shirt undone. His hair curls at the collar of his shirt, and when he rumples it and keeps surveying my place, it sticks out all over his head, dark and lovely. I have to fight the urge to reach out and touch it. Instead, I bring us two cups to the coffee table. I take the couch and watch him lower himself into my favorite oversize reading chair, the one I do my best thinking in. I’m a little afraid now that I won’t ever use it again without remembering he was parked right there.

“I’m sorry I bailed,” I whisper, sliding a cup across the table and retrieving my hand before he can reach for it.

“I heard you weren’t feeling well.” He leans forward, ignoring the coffee. Ignoring my apartment and everything except me.

His dissecting look makes me lower my face and exhale. “Yeah, I guess,” I agree.

“Somebody hurt you, Selena?”

“Maybe . . .” I raise my head at the protectiveness in his tone and cross my arms over my chest. A male figure has never been concerned over me, protective. I like it so much I smile a little in happy amusement. “Will you punch her for me?”

“Her?”

“Me,” I specify, shaking my head. “I’m referring to me, she’s the one who hurt me.” I tighten my arms because seeing him in my place makes my mind keep going elsewhere, to another time, at the top of the Interface building. I can’t believe I’ve kissed those lips. I can’t believe he kissed me for so long.

He laughs softly, runs a hand through his hair. “Then no, I won’t punch her.” A pause, a laden look.

Then kiss her again, I think recklessly.

Groaning inwardly at the thought, I put my face in my hand for a moment.

Justin seems to be beyond puzzled by me right now.

“Is this a girl thing?” His voice brings my head up, his tone a mix of confusion and amusement that, coming from such a hard and closed man, is unexpectedly sweet.

“It’s a me thing,” I admit. “I saw someone tonight—she works where I work. She’s always so spot-on. Everything she writes is absolute gold. Her topics, her metaphors, her similes!”

His chuckle fills the room—a rich, beautiful sound—and then he reclines farther back in the chair, the embodiment of a businessman relaxing.

“I’m personally a fan of your work, Selena.”

My . . . what!?

“You always lay out your topics with refreshing honesty.”

“You’ve been reading me?” I’m sure my voice and round eyes betray my surprise.

That small smile again, combined with a scowl this time. “You think I give interviews to just anyone?”

“Honest?” I ask.

When he nods, I dip my head low. “I thought you saw my boobs pushing out of that top on my profile picture and told Dean you’d see me.”

His eyes crinkle with humor, but then we stare for long, heavy minutes, and our smiles fade.

“I read your column before that interview was granted.”

“I must’ve been such a disappointment in person. That first interview? It’s the most embarrassing interview I’ve ever had,” I admit.

We stare again.

I want him to say something, so I wait.

“I thought you were lovely.”

I’m blushing red.

He’s not known to be big on compliments, or a big flatterer. He’s known to be blunt, his honesty close to making people uncomfortable.

I’m uncomfortable now because I feel him looking at me with new intensity, and when he speaks again, the girl inside me feels euphoric.

“It gave me great pleasure to watch you walk out with my shirt. It seems every single one of my employees who saw you knew that I wanted you. Everyone knew this except maybe me.”

My breath catches.

“Oh,” I say, when I manage to expel it.

“I didn’t know then,” he specifies, his stare unflinching.

The desire I feel is so absolute, so powerful, I cannot think of anything else but him and the fact that I cannot have him.

I’m acutely aware of the distance between us—of exactly how many feet lie between him and me in my living room. I turn on a lamp, and the room becomes more alive; all the light seems to make love to him, to the angles of his face.

“Why are you here, Justin? If it was because of what happened at Interface, I made a mistake.”

“Then let’s make another one. A bigger one.”

I laugh nervously. “What is this? Am I a challenge to you now?”

His lips quirk. “A challenge is something you stop wanting once you acquire it. I can’t know if you’re a challenge yet until I make you mine.”

I can’t believe how sexy that short little word, mine, is when the man I want utters it. I want to hear him say it so many more times, in my ear, closer to me. Oh god. Livingston, get under control.

But how can I? The tension is so thick in the air. I inhale the scent of him with every breath; every breath reminds me my body is tight and throbbing, every breath hurts because of him.

He’s watching me as if he wants to figure me out. “So, your friend . . .”

“Victoria. She’s my age, but she’s had short stories published already, she’s writing a children’s book for sex education, she makes success look so effortless. I can never do as much, think of the concepts she comes up with.”

“Use it, use it to become better. You do your best when someone else is right there trying to beat you. I was . . .” he begins, then laughs softly as if amused at himself. “Okay, let’s try this.” He edges forward in his seat. “I was a disappointment to my father.” He speaks casually, but he watches me as if he wants to be sure his words have an effect. “I’m not sure if it’s been since I was born, or later . . . when I got sick. Dad never forgave me that weakness. He asked for DNA testing, sure my mother had had an affair, wanting to prove I wasn’t his son. I got bigger, faster, stronger, just because the one man I wanted to prove myself to underestimated me.”

“Was he a tough dad?”

“Tough as nails. Nothing anyone did was good enough to suit him.”

“Is that why nothing you get is good enough, why you’re always chasing after more?”

“Not because of him. It’s because it never feels like enough. I never stop unless I want someone else to catch up.”

“You’re tough as nails too.”

He laughs and shakes his head, his hand restlessly running over his head. “You okay now?”

I nod. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?”

“You being here right now is holding me back from a pretty nasty hell.”

He stands, and my heart stops beating as he comes and drops next to me. I’m pudding when he tugs me into the nook in his strong arm. “Come here.” He holds me for a while, his arm encircling me. He’s not soft at all—his chest is hard, his shoulders square—but I feel his warmth and heartbeat, and suddenly I realize I’m pressing my mouth to his throat.

He circles my waist with his arm and traps me against his chest. He caresses my neck from my collarbone to the edge of my jaw.

I slide my hand up his chest.

He meets my eyes with blazing force, and I start chasing my breath in fast pants as he ducks his head.

He kisses the edge of my mouth. My lids sweep closed from the pleasure, and I don’t dare move a muscle.

He frames my face with the palms of his hands and slowly brushes his lips against mine. He eases back an inch, looking at me again, making sure I’m okay before bending again and opening his lips against mine.

He holds me loosely as I kiss his mouth, as if giving me space, letting me get accustomed to him. Everything about him is hard. His jaw. His chest. His arms. His hands. But oh my god, his lips. His tongue. His lips are warm and soft, kissing me hungrily. His tongue lightly slipping through my lips, making me melt into him.

We sink into the couch and I let him kiss me because it’s the most exquisite thing I have ever felt. I open my mouth wider, savoring every minute, every second, that his lips are on mine. He kisses me for a long time, over and over again, until I’m breathless. I never want to stop. I could do this for hours. It feels perfect. Amazing.

He draws back and rubs his thumb across my bottom lip.

My brain is thinking so many things at once it isn’t thinking anything at all. I’m breathing hard, looking at him with his hair tousled, eyes hooded, and lips slightly swollen, and he looks back at me like a tiger does its prey. We shift, and I sit on his lap straddling him. He kisses my jaw. I hold on to his biceps, big and strong. He kisses the side of my mouth again, reassuring me that I’m okay, while parting my blouse with his hands. Then he leans down and places a kiss right below my throat.

I look down to his jet-black hair, feeling his warm mouth kiss across my collarbone. He places another kiss right between my breasts, then all the way up to my jaw. He kisses my throat again. Sucking a little here, licking a little there, kissing a little more. I’m looking up at the ceiling, trying to memorize the feel of his lips on me. I feel like I’m separate from my body. If someone were to talk to me, I probably wouldn’t hear them. All I want in life right now is for him to never stop.

He makes his way back to my lips, giving me another soft kiss. I open my mouth immediately and wind my arms around his neck to hold him to me. His hands are big and warm on my thighs—without them I would probably float off somewhere near Cloud Nine. Or in this case, Cloud Ninety-nine.

I melt when I hear his hot voice against my skin. “I keep thinking of that day. And you couldn’t have possibly tasted this sweet. . . .”

I open my mouth, and suddenly I’m kissing him with my whole heart. He is exquisite. Kissing me tenderly, and then kissing me hungrily. The smell of his cologne surrounds me, the heat from his body warms me, and his lips slowly drive me crazy. This little make-out session of ours is going to end up with me in a psych ward.

“Don’t stop,” I breathe, rocking my hips with the sudden ache to get closer to him, to feel his skin on mine.

My body’s trembling. He raises his head and kisses the edge of my mouth, starts nibbling. He groans, and I can tell he’s really getting into it. “Don’t stop,” I beg.

“I’m not stopping until morning.” He draws back and cups my face in both hands. I’m looking into his glowing green eyes, which stare at me with a light in them I can’t describe. He’s looking at me like I’m a goddess. Like he could never have imagined me. He’s looking at me with so much need and tenderness I can feel my throat tighten again. I’m not ready for this. I’m scared. I’m nervous.

“What in the—”

The overhead lights snap on and I sit up in confusion, covering my hot face with my hands.

Gina blinks.

Justin closes his eyes tight, then opens them, and he looks so perfectly hot, so manly, so angry and so debauched by me, I reach out and quickly start to button his shirt, too jealous to let Gina see his chest, his abs, what I’d just been touching so madly.

“I hope what’s happening here isn’t really happening.” Gina scowls with her hands planted on her hips.

“It isn’t,” I blurt; then I look at him as he looks down at me in complete puzzlement, eyebrows slanted low. His hair is standing up adorably, but his expression is beyond annoyed.

“Your roommate,” he curses under his breath as if he should’ve remembered I had one.

Mortified, I pull him to his feet—with much effort—and then to the door. “That . . . was beyond a mistake. I don’t know what got into me.”

His stare is dark as night and his voice is gruff with desire. “I know what got into you—the same thing that got into me.”

“No.” I go into the hall, call up the elevator, and then push him in with all my effort. “’Bye, Justin.”

“I’ll call you, Selena,” he murmurs as he grabs my face and kisses my mouth, rubbing his tongue a little over mine and making me moan before I tear free and the elevator leaves.

Oh. My. God. What have I unleashed?

“What was that?”

“He was saying goodbye.”

“I’m Gina, remember. Your best friend. I can tell when you’re lying. Were you guys . . . sleeping together on the couch like some item?”

“I had a few drinks. So did he. We had that . . . thing. I’m beyond . . . not thinking well.”

“Okay. ’Cause we know deep down he’s Lucifer, right? The Arch Douche himself? We don’t sleep with the bastard, we do not drop our walls!”

I nod and go to my room. I scrub my mouth with the back of my hand and brush my teeth and then look at my face in the mirror.

What am I doing? I poured my heart out to him. Why didn’t I just tell him I was writing an exposé?

This wasn’t part of my plan. I’m supposed to write an exposé about him, not let him expose me.

But I can’t sleep. I remember the frustration on Justin’s face when Gina came in. A little later, I turn on my lamp and get my cell phone.

I’m sorry about the way I said goodbye, I text, but before sending the text, I dial the number and wonder if he’ll answer. I don’t wonder for long: I hear the sound of him picking up, his voice saying hey.

“I’m sorry about the way I said goodbye.”

There’s a smile in his voice when he answers, relieving me. “If that’s what it takes to get you to call.”

I laugh, then go sober and cuddle up in bed with the phone to my ear, shyly whispering, “You’re different with me than anyone.”

“Because of the ‘fragile, handle with care’ sign you wear.”

“I’m not fragile.”

“You’re so fragile you’ve boxed yourself up so you don’t break.”

“I like my safe zone.”

“Nothing happens in the safe zone.”

“That’s the point—you control everything and it’s predictable and . . . safe.”

There’s a long silence.

Then Justin says, “When you come outside of your box, I’ll be waiting.”

15

A MAKEOVER

What did that even mean?

I don’t want to be unsafe. It’s the last goal of my existence. I’ve always liked that I have never been reckless.

On Friday, I pour myself mindlessly into a piece Helen wanted for the week. I can’t think; I can’t stop to think or I’ll start to drown in my own fears and confusions. I tell myself to stay detached and keep my eyes on the prize, and that’s all a sensible reporter would do. And I am sensible. At least, I was for the twenty-three years before I met Justin Justin.

I’m typing furiously when my phone buzzes and I peer absently at the screen, only to have a heart attack when I see the word I saved him under in my contacts. SIN.

Meet me tonight at the Tunnel?

What is my heart doing right now? It’s doing cartwheels in my chest. I’ve become this girl, this ridiculous girl. The Tunnel is a hot spot known for its dark and winding rooms, its loud music. Hardly anyone comes out sober or unmussed from the Tunnel. Selena, you can’t go with Justin to the Tunnel unless you’re totally prepared to get your libido in check, and you’ve been doing a lousy job of that.

“So are you ready?”

I lower my phone when Victoria tries to peer over the top of my cubicle. “Ready?” I repeat. “For what?”

“Don’t you remember? Your beauty day! Getting you prepped this weekend to work.”

“I . . . ah. Right. How could I forget? The clichéd makeover. Normal girl gets her hair cut, gets the guy, lalalalalala,” I say as I grab my things.

“Yes.” She laughs.

I get my phone and close the file I had open on my computer with a few too many links—but never enough—featuring what Justin did this week. In all the pictures there were girls too, but he looked detached. He didn’t look like he was having fun, but then, he’s hard to read.

Once I close up my computer, I follow Victoria to the elevators and we head to a spa. Pedicure, manicure, a trim.

“Highlights.”

“I’m platinum blonde, Vicky, it doesn’t get lighter.”

“Slightly lighter streaks and slightly darker ones give light to your hair.”

“I’ll take the haircut, but I won’t be enslaved by hair color until my hair turns gray. It’s a tip I learned from my mother.”

“What Justin likes is a good ol’ easy woman. He’s not used to working for it—it’s always available to him, and that’s how he probably likes it. Though he really did seem thoroughly hooked on you, Selena.”

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