#maybe its hust fall idk

[nexus-nebulae]

i amb. Dissociating

[rush-mp3]

idk if i like this design for my potential gachiakuta oc, but it'll do for now until i get to know her better.

anyways, idk her name yet, it'll come after i figure out her story.

i'm thinking her jinki is her "pet snake" (a wooden snake that's childhood toy given to her by her best friend (long gone (not deceased?))) that turns into a dragon. i think it'd be kinda cool if she could turn any toy animal into a jinki, buuuuuuut we'll see. i don't wanna ruin the novelty of rudo's entire character.

as for her backstory, i'll kinda just go with the flow as a write this. first drafts are first drafts 🤷🏿‍♀️ depending on my fixation with the series, she'll either be left to rot as is or she'll get a complete & total overhaul later on.

anyways, so i'm thinking her ancestors are from the sphere/sky. but somewhere along her family history, they got sent down to the abyss (and somehow survived). i kinda wanna make it into a thing where the family in ber ancestry was a big one, and because they were so big, the higher ups thought they were prostituting/selling the kids or hust doing something vaguely shady.....so they sent THE WHOLE FAMILY down. as if the kids would've been at fault in that situation lmaooo

a lot of them didn't survive, namely the parents and the younger kids. it was mostly the eldest & middle children that survived the fall. but even from there, not many managed to survive the toxins or skypeople traffickers, so it resulted in the eldest son and the surviving youngest daughter being the ones to carry on the family legacy.

each of the known surviving child were dedicated to having just one or two children each—provided they or their offspring even wanted children—and that was something that continued for generations until alitash tasifa's* generation.

(*that's her name now; alitash is an ethiopian name that means "may i never lose you" and tasifa is an amharic surname that means "hope". hopefully these meanings are correct! )

i think ali grew up very lonely because somehow, someway, her family lineage (that she knew of) grew smaller and smaller until it was only her and her parents—and of course her parents have to die at some point.

and i guess, since i mentioned a childhood best friend! maybe she ends up living with her childhood bestie & their family for a bit until something happens with them. i guess they ended up needing to move and they didn't/couldn't take ali with them. the best friend's larting gift was the wooden toy snake they made themselves (it was to replce this "trashy" toy lizard ali picked up randomly off the street). ali gave them her favorite "trashy" toy lizard in exchange.

once when ali went up to meet their bestie & the fam, she ends up finding out that no one knew anything about a new family moving in. and in her search for them, she discovers that they never even made it to town. but that's pretty much all she ended up finding out.

for a while, ali kind of just wandered around since she had no real place to go back to and no one was waiting for her either.

she ends up inadvertently meeting engine & riyo after they tripped over her seemingly lifeless body in the streets. ali had kind of given up at that point and was just wasting away, waiting to die, but the funny thing is, her jinki was wrapped around her, protecting her from the elements & predators. engine of course saw this and bet on her potential as a cleaner, so he reasoned with ali's jinki (gotta give it a name) and eventually, they were able to gain its trust so that they could take ali in.

it was hard for ali to open up at first, because she was convinced that she'd eventually cause the cleaners to disappear somehow...or make them "throw her away". but she has been with them ever since and has gained her old self back.

now, as for what her "old self" means....? aka, what her personality is.....idk. in my mind, ali is grown, maybe like 28. the first thing that comes to my mind is a "wine aunt" kinda vibe. she is generally cheerful and loving, maybe a little friendly-flirty, but a deep melancholy permeates her exterior sometimes. she doesn't have much book smarts (and she's insecure about it, which is why she has a penchant for studying), but she has a lot of street smarts.

she has complicated feelings on whether she wants a family herself or not one day. it's mostly because she has only one person on her mind when it comes to love, and she doesn't even know if that person is dead or alive.

also irt her childhood best friend, i'm absolutely imagining them being a minor vandal or some sort of antagonist.

i'm also wanting for a relative (or relatives) of hers to show up at some point. like from one of those lost siblings all those generations ago. i want my pookie to have a family 🥺 i mean, she'll have a found family with the cleaners, but you know. having options isnt bad.

ummmmm i think that's it. for now anyways. so much of this is off rip & so vague, but it's a decent start for now i think.

[tobi-momo]

Cuddling With Them While They Game PT 2

a/n: kasjsdhakdjs pls- when i got this req i sqealed srsly i love it ty for this :p

Type: Headcanons

Genre: Fluff, crack???

Warnings: none :)

i made a part one with bakugou, kirishima, and todoroki!

he doesnt usually play games but when he does he tries his best and its so cute🥺

feel like he has game rage, but its like him trying to smile through the pain and act like he isnt mad💀

HE PLAYS CONSOLE KASKDJSAKD BUT NOT LIKE THE BEANBAG LIKE KIRI ITS CONSOLE WHERE HES ON THE FLOOR RIGHT UP CLOSE TO HIS TV SITTING AT THE FOOT OF HIS BED

KASSDSKHGDAK THATS SO CUTE PLS-

so imagine: you walking in his dorm room, expecting him to be studying or working on his technique, but instead you find him on the floor in front of his bed, a blanket covering his head as he presses the buttons ruthelessly while he whispers little curses at himself starting to get mad

you closing the door got his attention, so he invited you to sit next to him, so you do

at first it was a little awkward bc he wasnt sharing the blanket (you cant convince me he isnt a blanket hog you cant) and his eyes were glued to the tv screen like he forgot you were there

you started to get tired, your head drooping on his shoulder- his body goes absolutely stiff- like- midoryia.exe has stopped working youre gonna have to wait for him to windows 8 reboot

once he finally looks at you and youre like this close to falling asleep he turns your body away rq to move the blanket off his shoulder so your head can rest on his actual shoulder and the blanket is around you too

he usually doesnt have his mic on at all, and if it is he usually doesnt talk unless hes going along w a joke? iykwim?

i feel like he plays games like call of duty and halo (he loves animal crossing and sucks at among us) but he doesnt like when he sees them actually die? like the gore and stuff? idk he just gives those vibes yk? i feel like hed feel really bad kaskjdshad hed get over it tho

i cant really see him play minecraft, tho, i mean unless youre playing w him, i dont think he would play it by himself unless he was like building a fucking castle for you or sum-

but ya you start to go to his room more when he games to hang out and every. single. time. you. fall. asleep. he isnt complaining tho he loves your sleeping face :p

when you sleep on him he usually wrapss an arm around you and when he can presses little butterfly kisses on the top of your head and takes his hand to rub your arm up and down oml kdajsd pls-

he plays both computer and console i just think he plays he console a bit more?

ok this is a lil soft and maybe a bit ooc but i like if you were to come in while hes playing games you would sit down between his legs, your back to his chest while he plays

he would either rest his head on whatever is behind him or he would rest it on your shoulder (if youre more on the taller side)

and okokok i feel like if you were curious ab how the game works he would def let you play for him for a sec, he would guide yu on what the buttons do and what your tasks are yk? (again w the soft shi im sorry kasjhsdfjf *cri*)

he would keep an arm around your waist while letting you play or he would rub your thigh (maybe both kasdjshd) while he watches you play

if you get a lil frustrated he would totally tease you ab it then tell you how to do it right oml

if you get tired he would take the controller from you and let you sit back on him chest, resting on him while he games

he might turn the volume down a lil, but i also think he doesnt care that much LMFAO

i feel like he would rub your side a lil its almost tickly but hes a lil more firm than that yk?

he would keep his curses at a minimum although he doesnt have that much game rage at all bc again, he doesnt care, but ppl are stupid so he might get frustrated sometimes

once you fall asleep and hes been playing for a while he might just leave the game hes in and carry you to bed and get in with you

i dont think hes much of a cuddler at all but a little bit of contact is ok w him

but then you start to shift and scoot towards him in your sleep

until you are either completely ontop of him or your head is in the crook of his neck and hes just sitting there like 😐😤😒

but he warms up to it bc he wuvs you (read: hes fucking whipped)

ao he lazily puts an arm around you and bears it for a couple more hours

but when yall wake up he finds himself literally clinging to you KASDJHSALKDJ

he. plays. computer. end of conversation

he got the wasd game iykwim😩 (ill shut the door on my way out)

he absolutely loves it when you come to sit on his lap while he just- he loves it sm

he plays all types of games (except overwatch. you will not catch this man playing overwatch pls-)

i feel like you wouldnt run into him playing games he would always play them once youre with him in the room

he wants you to be w him while he games, he wants you to watch him or just be there

youd be laying on his bed, hust doing whatever, scrolling on your phone while you hear him set up

you love to cuddle him- i just KNOW hes amazing at it

so when you hear him clicking away and see him sit down you stand up and walk to him

he doesnt even have t look at you before he opens himself up to you to sit on his lap

you watch him play (and his hands kasjlsdh) and sometimes you ask him questions ab it- hed be happy to walk you through it and explain

if you wanna play he'll let you play, teaching you everything ab the character and shit

he is the most patient person on earth i KNOW

he doesnt get game rage

he is literally so stoic- so calm i swear

he doesnt use his mic like at all

HE LOVES PLAYING WITH YOU

teasing to the max th- its cute tho he isnt being a meanie

loves playing among us and animal crossing (he def plays)

yall usually go to your island bc he likes it more kasdslahd

and when hes the imposter? hes like fucking corpse i swear

if youre sleep he's literally a perfect pillow, plus the sound of him breathing while he rubs your back is-

momo.exe has stopped working

HE PLAYS BOTH COMPUTER AND CONSOLE EQUALLY

he uses the mic constantly and is kinda loud- but you dont hate it

he laughs a lot, and gets some game rage but its pretty controlle, he just gets butthurt sometimes :/

when you walk into his room he is getting so into it like he doesnt even notice even notice you come in

he only notices your presence when when you put your hand on his shoulder- he literally jumps

when he plays console he's on his bed, just laying there chillin so when you walk in and say hi he is sooo happy youre there w him omg

he just loves you presence

i imagine you climbing into bed w him and he continues to play his game although he loves it when you touch him (not to sound sexual at all he genuienly loves your touch)

and you up to his side- he wraps an arm around you, telling you how he missed you how mych he loves you (ksadksjhaksd)

when you fall asleep he turns the volume down and probably tones down his voice, although sometimes he jolts bc of some kind of mess up

but he manages to keep you asleep on him until he gets tired too- turning everything off and just wrapping you in arms (he'd prolly end up on your chest ngl)

on the computer when he plays you hesitate o cuddle ONLY bc od how much he moves, like you arent gonna be there comfortable for a while but eventually he calms down

he just gets nervous- his heart starts to beat rapidly and his leg bounces (same kaskh) espECIALLY when you straddle him oml he BREAKS

but he eventually calms down so its more comfy

when you fall asleep he will constantly press kisses on your head omggg

so soft kasdjhksajf pls-

i feel like he plays longer when hes on the computer so he would prlly still be on there when you wake up- looking absolutely dead insode aksjdshadl but you convince him to go to bed, bribing him with a 'i'll go too'

hes literally whipped for you :)

~.~.~.~

hope yall enjoyed a part 2-

taglist: @combat-wombatus @toosharkinternet @alpha3113 @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @zerohawks @hitosushi @katsuhera (sry my tags are being weird)

[stillwooozy]

i need to kick this drug habit. its bad.

Benzos benzos benzos. Fck those buggers. And alcohol. I keep on telling myself to ween my usage. Whatever

I miss...... people i ounce new. Fictional people. Maybe they are just projections of real people

I miss them. all i want is someone to hold me and tell me that they understand the insanity of it all, that they were there too, that im crazy but its ok cuz they are crazy too

Ive been thinking a lot about how i dont even want forgiveness. I dont want to SPEAK of “my canon” - doesnt matter what did or didnt happen. I just wish there were ppl i connected with that felt the same. Ive been thinking of Armin a lot. I miss him. he was my friend & he didnt WANT anything FROM me. Ive never experienced that. Mikasa too but that makes me feel guilty

Idc its so stupid. Its not really about the characters themselves, its the archetypes they represent, that is my theory

This isnt a canon call. I think its impossible ti find anyone. I can only feel if i click w/ people when irl. I cant click w/ a person or like them alone. Its all fake. Thats okay but its just ... not the way i work

I misss my ex. A part of me pretended she was my Historia or something. I wanted to think i could protect & provide for her.

But once things got too rough. Once communication began to slip. Once i was scared. I couldnt move forward.

I think i still love her. This is really dorky but i was driving w/ my sister today and she had the aux and was listening to doja cat

And my ex looks a lot like doja cat. And i think doja cat is so fucking hot. And i started to CRY in the car. Over DOJA CAT TALKING ABOUT HER TITS. my sister laughed at me. Idc it was humerous but i think i still love her. It isnt even just that she is beautiful but we had THAT chemistry, THAT chemistry i can only dream about between myself & fictional characters. We were a power couple- just in our own eyes. Idk if she misses me too. I have held back communication. Shell be better off without me, or i have to tell myself that

Maybe i just need an older man who will treat me like a pet, a respectable pet. I cant have my equal or it falls apart. I need to be below someone.

No i hate that too. All options suck

I never thiught id really DATE a woman and enjoy every second of it before her. She was beyond all gender & simple lust for me.

Maybe i was rigjy about jer orchestrating the end. Or mayeb she really was having a mental breakdown. I still dotn know if she lied about birth control or not. Idc. Her body her choice. But i was so AFRAID. Isnt that allowed? That isnt why we broke up. Everything hust went down hill agter. Probably my fault. A stronger man couldve handled it better.

Im nodding i think. Fck. I just took more benzos. Im not going to die granted but in worried.

I dont want to ho back to aot-verse... i just need to meet ppl who understand HEAVY it feels to be me. To be them. Its heavy to have these knowledge memories taht are ovjecyively silly bur controll so much of my life

[xaviersass]

is it just me, or is it really offputting when you see fics on ao3 tagged w #homosexuality like.....