#maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[ghostofvixx]

So glad|KYS|

The soulmate thing doesn’t work easily, but for you it gets ten times hardes if both of you hide your birthmark.

Genre: fluff + bulleted au

words: 2.7k 

warnings: swearing the title’s supposed to be so f*cking glad but we’ll talk about it some other time, uhm trying to decide if this is cool or absolute trash, cute at a certain point

other soulmate aus: | san | YEOSANG | yunho | wooyoung | mingi | hongjoong | jongho | seongwha | (no particular order)

Yeosang is usually a very confident person. We could say he has no complexes.

(yes, he doesn’t look like it, but he is)

Except for one: his birth mark

He just DOESN’T LIKE IT AT ALL, his friends -the ones that know about it- think it’s cute but he DOESN’T.

He has tried almost everything to remove it at this point

But nothing can remove it effectively on a daily basis

Not as effective as makeup at least.

And that’s how makeup has become indispensable for him since he was in high school: that’s how he hates his birthmark.

What he doesn’t know is that that’s the reason why he can’t find his soulmates.

he’s ready, he can feel it, he’s been ready for years now, but why the time doesn’t come?

      .:Keep reading :.

“You just have to know new people, you barely meet new friends Yeosang! Once you do it BAAAM the time will come.” Yunho tells him, overreacting as always.

Yeosang laughs, but deep inside him, he knows he’s right, just he doesn’t know how or when to know new people.

Then he began going to parties with the rest of ateez more frequently and actually getting to know ppl

classmates

ppl from other years

ppl from his uni and from other unis

but nothing happened

then he met you.

At first, it was just as usual: just some random person he had to be paired up with for a project.

Nothing new: he’s made a lot of friends like that,

but with you it was different,

he just felt SO comfortable with you.

He blamed it on your personality and your will to do the project right, and how attractive you were too

and you blamed it on the same thing

So none of you dummies realized just how comfortable and heart eyes emoji you were with each other

nor how both of your -covered- birthmarks were actually shining behind all the concealer.

Now let’s talk a bit about you.

Your birthmark is LITERALLY on your left thumb.

Why on your left thumb? Well, that will remain a mystery

Until you meet your soulmate at least

You don’t have that much of a complex but still, you don’t like it

So, knowing it’s the only thing that can tie you with your soulmate, you decided to not cover it for a while

Then you got tired of it and decided to put concealer on it.

It’s not that you wanted it, but you were lowkey mad at the world itself

because your soulmate was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND

Usually when you have a mark is because your soulmate is getting closer right? Or because you might meet them anytime SOON right?

Well not for you.

For you it was like it had to shine or something like that -words literally said by your friend, who liked all the soulmate stuff and had done researches on every type of soulmate in the world-.

So oh well here you are

you had eventually given up

maybe you’ll end up like those that won’t find their soulmates

but it was supposed to happen, right? You should have crossed paths with then at least ONCE for that to happen

But you didn’t

That’s what keeps you going, secretly you have some hope

Then you met Yeosang and you suspected

Because you had that THING like you NEEDED to boop his nose

Even if he wasn’t your soulmate you NEEDED to have something with him

Welcome to what we call: having a crush

crush culture is hard, maybe because you thought he wasn’t the one for you, after all, he isn’t your soulmate, right? AND ALSO because he was ALWAYS with his various friends

It’s like he barely had time for you

pretty understandable, taking into consideration that you guys weren’t the closest, but still he has told you so many times that you feel special

WHERE’S THE SPECIAL NOW KANG YEOSANG?

You barely see him outside class, you barely talk on the phone outside class

BUT YOU’RE STILL SPECIAL? WHAT?

The only time you see him is when he’s partying with his friends,,, and you don’t want to approach him

so you go unnoticed for the night

sometimes he’s noticed, some other he hasn’t

besides, you don’t like it when you’re with him in that mood, because everything becomes awkward.

“Y/n, do you want something to drink?” He would always ask you

you say no bc c’mon there are already a LOT of drunk people around

sometimes his friends,,, which is,, awkward

because sometimes they would ship you and uh that’s a nono on the outsides but a yes yes in the inside, right?

“Are you having fun?”

“I am.”

AND THAT’S ALL PALS

Not a single “would you like to dance?”

nor a singing along to the song together

NOTHING

T H A T ‘S  I T

His friends don’t say it, but they look at both of you as if they were saying “why are y’all as awkward lol aren’t you friends?”

and that type of thought haunt you sometimes at nigh

BUT THEN WE HAVE TO MENTION A SPECIAL PARTY

apparently that night his group of friends got mixed with another one

and he wasn’t feeling himself

he told you that morning that today he didn’t feel like partying, he was in a bad mood

“why?” You asked.

“Just… Some random soulmate thoughts.”

Every time he talked to you about his soulmate, your heart skipped a beat

“Have you found them” you voiced your biggest fear.

“I haven’t, that’s the problem.”

He then explained to you that he couldn’t find them and that made him sad,,, especially today,,,, for no special reason

“O-kay?” You said. “Well, just try to enjoy yourself for once! You’re still young, you’ll find them soon! We’ll see each other probably, by the way.”

His heart jumped in his chest,,, how can you be,,,, as perfect for him? He just feels like it.

Like you were made for him

but then not really.

Back to the point

you were RIGHT about to approach him,,, then you saw who he was talking

that person wasn’t from his group of friends,,, nor a person you knew

and they were talking so,,, close,,, so so close

you don’t mean to do it, but you’re sure you’re pouting because you can sense some chemistry from them???

Or is it just you?

It was one-sided, but those types of things are hard to see when your crush is being flirted at.

Then some boy named San sat between them and that caught Yeosang’s attention completely

actually everyone’s attention too

even you, who barely know him, know it’s a part of the “San effect”, he’s the nicest boy ever

overall when he whispered something into Yeosang’s ear and suddenly Yeosang began to look for someone in the crowd

until his eyes met yours

and his smile lighted up

and omg he’s just so cute god pls help me

you know when he just looks so tiny when he smiles bc he’s excited abt something?

THAT’S THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU

T I N Y

and you k n e w you had been admiring him for too long without smiling back or smth because suddenly he frowned

and then you panicked

you’re not subtle at all lmao

for some reason, you seem like an open book to him

so, after panicking, you just leaft asap

not knowing he was actually going to r u n after you 

why? He doesn’t know, he just adores you and can sense something’s wrong

so yeah he said goodbye hurriedly and ran after you and stuff and finally found you outside the house where the party was being held, walking back home.

“Are you leaving?”

you were astonished and flustered to listen to his voice

“I am.”

“Why? It’s soon, isn’t it?”

“I’m suddenly tired.” You said and turned back.

“Suddenly? I mean-”

“Yeosang, you’ve drunk, I’m sure, why don’t we talk tomorrow?” You didn’t mean to sound rude, but back then all you neededd was: a bed

to sleep!!1!111!!1!

not to cry11!!!1!1!!

“I haven’t drunk that much.” It was the truth, he’s not the best drinker, but he’s not a bad one.

“Well, we’ll talk when you are 100% sober, okay? Besides, you seemed pretty entertained-” You stopped all of the sudden

now he knows you’re jealous!!!!!!! ah these kids nowadays

however, you were cool bc if he remembered that the following day, you couln blame it on the alcohol

WHY DID YOU THINK HE WAS THAT DRUNK GOD HE’S A SAINT HE’S BARELY DRUNK YOU DUMMY

but well never mind, you just kept living in your little world

AND you had given the other dummy an idea

“But I don’t want to drink anymore~” he said in a singing voice that m e l t e d your heart. “I’m not wasted, but I know I’ve drunk and my friends seem pretty irresponsible right now.”

he just wanted to spend some time with you you know

“Oh,,,” what else can you say? Was he REALLY saying he’d rather be with you?

OH

“Then what can I do for you?” You asked

“Let’s take a seat somewhere? Is it fine by you?”

“You’re the alcoholic one here my dude.”

“Shut up, I still can talk! You should speak to Yunho right now.”

“Not a nice influence, Yeosang.” You said jokingly. Actually, you know Yunho and he’s the nicest dude out there

another softie

but not in the same way as Yeosang.

“Still, you won’t remember tomorrow, right?” You asked him.

“I probably won’t.” He decided to play that game.

You ended up taking a seat on a bench inside a park,,, to talk about some stuff and all that

and it’s comfortable for a few seconds

until you realized the boy is literally sweating

and you probably are too bc it was so hot inside,,, and it’s not rlly cold on the outside

so you grabed some wipes from your bag

“Do you want one?” You asked the boy “They’re cold.”

“Why do you have them in your bag?”

“Oh come on, you have to be ready for parties, don’t you have them inside your bag?

“Uhm, not really,,, maybe I should.”

you felt a bit ridiculous, but then he actually takes one and smiles

“summer’s coming and this is cool, better be safe than sorry”

He always has that ability to make you feel right

“I’m actually going to remove my makeup.” He commented, laughing.

He was a bit scared, but you wouldn’t notice if he didn’t pass the wipe where his birthmark is, right? Besides, it was too dark to actually see it.

But when he’s in the process of removing it, you see that he’s not doing it right

I mean one side of his face was going to disappear if he kept rubbing while the other one remained intact

so you decided to do it yourself because WHY NOT and well

he panicked, you panicked, but continued being awkward as if nothing was wrong

THEN the time comes, he closed his eyes, focused on how intimate and nice this feels 

and you passed the wipe right next to his left eye, where his birthmark is

while you were holding the wipe with your right hand, where your birthmark is

the moment feelt like a movie

because right when you had passed the wipe, his eyes opened and he held your wrist, and you looked at him shook

and was it you or are you a bit closer than before?

but THE thing is that you could see his birthmark because it’s shining with a very subtle light

and yours was too

but you made no comment because he was only just looking into your eyes and holding your wrist,,, he hadn’t made a single comment

has he even realized?

he wouldn’t tell you

but dude you had sEEN EVERYTHING YOUR CRUSH IS YOUR SOULMATE???

Apparently, he just didn’t care??? So you pretended you hadn’t noticed too??

:(

and the night went on and he still maDE NO COMMENT

D:

DDDDDD:

So ye he just accompanied you home and said goodbye with a smile

HAS HE REALLY NOT REALIZED?

Were you the only one that has felt their heart in their throat?

Is the soulmate thingy broken for you?

There’s literally no other way to explain it

and you couldn’t sleep because all you could think about was the fact that he wuldn’t remember

he had told you

and when you see him on Monday you go ignoring him hours because hoW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HIM?

Are you really his soulmate?

“y/n”

DAMN IT, HIS VOICE ONCE AGAIN

“y-yes?”

“I remember you know?”

oh,,, THEN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

“Y-you do?”

“I’m sorry for reacting that way.” SO HE KNOWS? “Next time I won’t pretend I’ve drunk, I could notice you were awkward.”

nvm apparently he doesn’t

Eventually you changed your mind tho

Like homeboi be dropping hints about finding a soulmate but he yeeted your feeling through the window

That must be because he knows right?

BUT WHY DOESN’T HE DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????

Suspicious

It was starting to get you on your nerves

He would ALWAYS vent to you about finding a soulmate, about being ready, about feeling it close

HOW CAN HE NOT KNOW GOD YOU WERE SO ANGRY

He always felt like you wouldn’t want to talk about the soulmate thingy, and he wouldn’t usually talk about that subject, knowing it bothered you

He thought that it was because you were frustrated bc nobody would come through

Dummy

Both of you dummies

One day it all just??? Exploded???

You had an awfully taught day at college, and when you talked to him about it you couldn’t even bring out the subject

“Sh, y/n listen, I’ve been thinking about it and I have a theory,,, do you think she’s my soulmate?” And he pointed discreetly to one girl standing on the other side of the road

“w-why would you think that?” Can you hear a crash? Yep, that was your heart.

“I don’t know, she’s with me in my math class and we get along well, I’ve known her for a few years now and-”

“Do you not like me?”

Yeosang was astonished.

“what?”

What what? Why does he looks so confused?

It made you feel so angry

“Look I understand if you don’t like me as your soulmate and you only see me as a friend and all that, just don’t rub it in front of my face, I feel awful every time because I like you so much Yeosang, you don’t even know-”

“what? Soulmate? What are you talking about?”

You don’t feel like a clown, you feel like the entire circus.

“Didn’t you know??? That we’re soulmate?”

“I- YOU- WHAT? MEN NONONONO ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

It’s always fun listening to Yeosang getting confused, annoyed, and surprised in tiny font.

Some curious people were looking at you so you decided to take a seat at a park so that you can explain the situation through.

It was just both of you, face to face, like that night.

“I discovered it the last time we went to a party, remember? We went to a park like this…”

And instead of just explaining, you repeated the action, your left thumb lightly caressed his birth mark covered with make up.

“My birth mark is how I can find my soulmate?”

“Yep.” You nodded. “Mine is too, though it is not as visible.”

“That moment was meant to happen, didn’t it?” He half-smiled so fondly you were about to faint.

“So, about liking me and stuff…”

God you were so shy

And he was too

But he moved his head forward and looked at you straight in the eyes

“ I can’t imagine anyone better for me, I’m so fucking glad it’s you.”

Butterflies? You felt and entire zoo going up and down your body when his gaze fell to your lips

“So fucking glad.” He repeated, and kept starring at you, but not moving forward.

How can he not be so AWKWARD right now??? You literally went completely RED????

But you said fuck it I’ll do it myself

And joined your lips

And finally you felt it

Yes, so fucking glad.

[theexecutionerssong]

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb! 

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

[dulldrops]

Do all of the asks

Sorry Ive just seen this I didn't even get a notification oops nosy anons let's go0: Height- like 5'1 I think1: Age - 202: Shoe size - 3.5/43: Do you smoke? Yes 4: Do you drink? Yes 5: Do you take drugs? Yes increasingly so but tbh so are the last 2 6: Age you get mistaken for - like 16/17 7: Have tattoos? Yea millions 8: Want any tattoos? Yeah I want to b covered 9: Got any piercings? Nose , two holes in ear lobes and then helix 10: Want any piercings? Tragus, some other ear ones 11: Best friend? I give up with friends lol fuck everyone 12: Relationship status - in a relationship for the past 3 yrs 13: Biggest turn ons - just worship my booty and were good, don't worry its worshipable14: Biggest turn offs - horrible teeth , having no facial / chest hair haha idk why I like hairy guys 15: Favorite movie - eternal sunshine of the spotless mind 16: I’ll love you if... buy me food, pay attention to my art, make effort with me and make me feel like you give a shit. That's literally it. 17: Someone you miss - my dad atm18: Most traumatic experience - probs getting lost in the woods in the middle of winter thought I was gonna die 19: A fact about your personality - which one? 20: What I hate most about myself - body, how soft I am, how indecisive I am21: What I love most about myself - ?22: What I want to be when I get older - something successful enough to live n work to new York City i guess 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - quite good, I'm th oldest so they all look up to me. Closer to my brothers 24: My relationship with my parent(s) - alright, much better since I moved out, however I have too much unresolved shit with my mother that affects me deeply like... Don't open that door lol25: My idea of a perfect date - like a cute Christmas market date or something, or a farm maybe 26: My biggest pet peeves When people take my stuff without asking, (sisters usually) , when someone agrees to plans but have no intention of going through with them(what's the point just say no) when you expect to do these plans and these people let u down and don't even feel bad about it 27: A description of the girl/boy I like - he leaves his clothes on the bed when he gets changed and it rly irritates me 28: A description of the person I dislike the most - full of shit, talks shit about everyone, legit everyone hates them, wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - because no one cares abt the truth 30: What I hate the most about work/school - too much work, don't care about ur personal shit 31: What my last text message says - "Yeh I’m gona be heading back soon just trying to wake myself up xxxxx" 32: What words upset me the most - being called selfish 33: What words make me feel the best about myself - when ppl realise I'm sassy 😂34: What I find attractive in women - body confidence and a desire to destroy all men 35: What I find attractive in men - effort !!!!! Nd attention 36: Where I would like to live - New York City, sometimes I think maybe like a ranch with horses somewhere in America maybe 37: One of my insecurities - that people think im younger/ less immature than I am and I don't get taken seriously lol. Also my personality changes so much that I can be a liability sometimes 38: My childhood career choice – photographer but idk it changed every day 39: My favorite ice cream flavor - vanilla always im boring 40: Who I wish I could be - someone important maybe 41: Where I want to be right now - in bed toasty warm with Paul doing nothing42: The last thing I ate - nothing today just drank tea I can't remember yesterday 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - shut up 44: A random fact about anything - im cold n i bit my nail too short n it hurts Sorry I'm super boring and uninteresting

[witchofdoom]

can i have 14 for auralia, 1 for chi and can i also like drop the bomb completely and do 8 for ama

Them in an uncomfortable outfit

P a n t s. (God what’s up w/ my ocs and hating pants)

It feels weird having fabric just. SURROUNDING her legs and making it so hard to shift vs like a dress or skirt. Pants in general just feel super restricting too?? Since ~under the sea~ clothing isn’t really a thing since it just gets wet so the more fabric the worse it is minus on the arms. But even then she doesn’t like the longer sleeves either? Mostly tight ones just....get off my skin blease.

Them as a child

I LOVE THAT U SENT THIS FOR HER AFTER I GOT IT FOR AMA JUST....THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE SAME BAD HOUSE.....

Chi has always been a go getter, even without the guise of her parents she loves the praise and competition. Not as stoic as she is as a teen/adult tho she would be enthusiastic about new things and learning and just planning so many things for the future...

She was definitely a model student and someone a lot of people looked up and went to for help. She was a bit cold to people but more in the sense of just being blunt with her words. Tho maybe that added to her ~Cool and Collected Senpai~ vibe

But of course with the ever so much a piece of shit bad dad her enthusiasm turned more into doing it for the sake of doing it/being a chore? Like she still liked the praise, still liked pushing herself, still liked learning but when only the best of the best was expected of you it just became....annoying. But she would never dare to say that or go against wishes of her parents because they were her family they were her guardians they were the ones who taught her and raised her they were in the right!!! Right? And. TERRIBLE AS IT IS seeing Ama be more compromised with what their dad wants kind of placed a fear in her to not falter...

Weird thing to mention after that but she enjoyed sports a lot too!! She was in track in her middle school years + some stuff on the side for fun and joined her high school’s gal basketball team when she moved. Ofc she left this behind for the sake of LAW but she’s always been athletic as a kiddo.

Their interactions with their significant other(s), if they have them

Holy shit I. THIS IS REVENGE FOR MY ASK H U H. Alright this is gonna be a long one...

Maybe not rly super on topic but? To start off this long train of rambling to say that. Ama sees Meti as a knight in shining armor is an understatement??? Like even saying he’s that AND her prince charming is not even close to how much he means to her like....in the weirdest of wording he’s just her snuggle bunny....like he’s him and she loves him and u ever think abt someone u love so much u cry that’s her 24/7 probably.

EARLY ON in their relationship/knowing each other in general was?? Awkward. You got shouty mcfight guy and I’m crying on the inside anxiety incarnate but it oddly??? Worked out?? Like maybe it was because shared interests??? Maybe it was how opposite their personalities were they ended up balancing each other out??? Or just how strange their first meeting was??? Maybe how (even if the methods weren’t. SOMETHING SHE CONDONED) she kinda admired people who didn’t take shit or confident??? or even something more!! (Or. something that needs to be specified/worked on more since it was like 6 years ago and stuff changed om g) But it was basically just these two, honestly very broken people coming together to create something new and fix all the cracks in each other along the way, despite neither of them really knowing that they were there to begin with? Or how deep the damages were.

LIKE AS MENTIONED BEFORE Ama was. Not a very social person?? And failed with the interactions that came with it pretty often like hell their first meeting she was probably quiet for 75% of it....And hell even as friends she was super quiet but like she cares for ppl so much it still kinda showed just from her expressions and actions and the few words she DID say. Quiet mom friend. She liked being around him a lot??? Like ofc she enjoyed the company of the rest of the friend group but just....even the simplest of things they did together?? The stupidest of conversations (or i/g early on more like him rambling since...tfw super quiet and also the added fear of not knowing a language 100% and accent) and just him (u kno when he wasn’t. KINDA PUTTING HIMSELF IN DANGER) made her heart go doki doki....Despite her denying and denying like no wtf ur horrible u don’t DESERVE to have friends or even a crush :/// thinking that like he’s gonna like u back smfh :////

After knowing him (+ friends) for a bit she did become a little bit more open?? Like in the friend way tho like she still hid her issues like hell. It was like before where she was empathetic to everyone and stuff just a little more friendly...still like ummmm EVEN IF THEY LIKE U NOBODY (meti) WOULD EVER LOVE U. She did kinda hold back bc of that just umm u wanna lose a FRIEND too u fuck???? (This. Stupid summer child.....u fool....) Once they got together tho she was actually kinda?? The same as before but instead of ummm it was more like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA///

I think this came?? A little bit after getting together but weird thing w/ Ama is that the closer u are to her the more she’ll actually speak up about things? Like her concern for you grows and she’ll put more of her own issues to stop u from doing fuck shit. So like she was still super caring and sweet but then the Mom Friend Attitude(tm) got mixed in a bit with that since. GESTURES TO METI, WHO FOUGHT PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE. And that probably kinda. opened pantrauma’s box of hell after a while of ‘ur gonna get hurt stop!!!’ just.....‘SOME PEOPLE??? FIGHT PEOPLE TO COPE???’ ‘wait what are u coping for-’ like that kinda showed that?? They trust each other enough to actually talk about this stuff despite not really realizing that?? Like...maybe not the root of the issues but maybe the mentality that lead to it and the start of healing for him?? Like she’s always been empathetic but it was something really new to just....see someone she cared about so much be like this and just wanting to help him....THO SHE HERSELF WAS STILL KINDA CLOSED OFF ABOUT HER OWN ISSUES AND TRIED TO HIDE THEM SINCE SHE DIDN'T WANT HIM TO WORRY AMA WHY...LIKE THIS IS STILL A THING EVEN IF WAY LESS...that sweet sweet abuse trauma I guess. She gets better with later years tho like with her feelings and even trauma at least but u h sweats at the medical issues that’s another story //horrayplz

Tries to....stay more vague tho bc this is getting long but like for the majority/still now she’s always been kinda dotting?? Like maybe not in a mom way now bc that’s weird but like in a spouse kinda way where she just wants him to be happy and safe and she def has gotten way better with speaking and is way more open about her concerns/feelings for him?? Like again with the balancing thing sorta she’s there to hold things back to make sure they don’t explode vs him who protects and maybe has things blow up just a little bit so it’s not brushed under the rug when something upsets her and will cause issues since she’s still super passive to things...But like her concerns come from nothing but a good place and just absolute pure love for him?

Also in terms of like affections she does like. Hold back a bit despite REALLY LOVING IT?? Like tbh it’s kinda rare for her to initiate stuff besides like hugs/hand holding/leaning against him and sometimes cuddling?? Morning/Goodbye/Goodnight kisses are smthing she’s more okay with doing too since it’s just quick and sweet and u don’t usually give a second thought to those....Even then she’s still so easily embarrassed like Ama blease you’ve been together for 6 years and in main verse ur married!!! Also god just in general she just....likes being near him or sitting next to him or laying against him and all that good stuff like her cheeks still kinda go redder than usual (bc fun fact!!! Ama’s cheeks are actually naturally rosy.) but it helps her relax and she feels so safe...HENCE THE WHOLE KNIGHT THING AT THE BEGINNING....

tl;dr bc god knows ppl need it: Ama just....loves Meti a lot. She cares about him so much and it’s a case of these two broken and lost people finding each other in such a cruel world and coming together to help fix each other while making something new along the way. She feels safe with him, she feels at home with him, she feels happy with him. He’s not her knight in shining armor, he’s not her prince charming, he’s not even her soul mate....he’s so much more than that he’s her snuggle bunny.

[6ungjin]

qn&ans tag

first of all i’m very sorry for the late post!! i wanted to post finish this and post it by fri but sighs T_T anyway!! 

first set of qns tagged by @noa-noa-noa!

1. If you could go to any concert, whose concert would you go to?

binch,,,, ya should know the answer so well BRUH HAHAHA of course it would be day6 oh goodness gracious imagine the amount of blessings u would be blessed if u get to attend their concert.. ;_; 

would also love to go to nell’s concert one day if i can!! 

2. Fansign or Solo Photo with your bias group?

solo photo for sure. fansign’s are totally fun and stuff but a solo photo would feel more personal i guess? and i can print it and paste it all over my room or like show it off to my friends like how i did with dean’s one LMAOOOO even tho it’s not even a proper photo it’s like i coincidentally got into the same angle as him xD

3. Three things you don’t like about your bias

- he gets a bit too nervous at times lmao MEME BOI chill

- his bowlcut hair. @stylists pls pls plsssssssss i want to see his forehead please free his forehead

- his unwillingness to sometimes do skinship LMAO he’s so adamant abt showing it to the camera XD

4. Blond, black, or an actual colour of the rainbow (if so, which one)?

black. this is in conjunction with hair colour, right...? xD i don’t think my skin can suit any other colour than black and maybe like... burgundy?

5. Favourite performance? Why?

i can never forget their live performance of locked out of heaven.... (here)

6. Your bias @s you on twitter vs your bias discreetly follows you on tumblr?

i speak total nonsense on twitter about my daily life so probably twitter?? there;s so many sinful stuffs i say here on tumblr BRUH LMAO SO DEFINITELY NOT TUMBLR *nightmare of the century*

7. What do you think of the pink sweater?

at first i was like jae i was like “BURN THE FREAKIN SWEATER” but then i realised how cute it looks on wonpil like im pretty sure he’s the only one who can rock those

8. If you could tell your bias one thing, what would you say?

“you have done well, i’ll support you forever” <3

next set is by @wonpillows! 

1. What member of your bias group would you stay up until 2am and talk about random topics with?

either jae or brian but most probably jae! I don’t know why but I feel like talking to him would be to a lot of different perspectives and it’s so interesting to view things on diff persps?? and honestly jae is like those silent on the outside at first but can blow up an essay about something so bro it’s jae

2. Of all your groups you listen to, who would you want to see do a collab?

there’s a lot bro... really a lot. for day6 it would be really nice if i see them collab with any of my fav bands but more specifically nell bc i’ve been listening to them since long ago!!! it would be interesting to see offonoff collab with day6 too tho... like i wanna see day6 venture into their kind of style pretty sure they have a lot lurking in their comps just that jyp wont let them release them

3. Your bias wearing a bandana or a choker?

bruh. ya outta get me. 

choker cos im a sucker for that and honestly bandanas look good on certain ppl only LOL

4. Go to South Korea to see a concert as soon as possible, or wait until they perform closer to where you live?

GO TO SOUTH KOREA TO SEE A CONCERT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (given it’s the timing that my fav grp is doing a concert lol) cos after that i can venture sk!! and like go around jeju or busan and just appreciate the country and culture :’)

5. Of all your groups, who would you have to look after 24/7? Why?

wanna one. they’re like babies that needs to be taken care of ;_; 

6. What is your favourite concept from any one group?

can I cheat and give two?? xD anw I like vixx’s voodoo doll concept cos that’s really unique and im a sucker for all these weird concepts lol and ALSO!! F(X)’S 4 WALLS everything from their song to their whole album to their physical album itself god wow perfection also when is sm releasing them from their graveyard

7. What would you give your bias at a fansign?

T___________T the thought of even meeting them... *sighs dreamily* anw! i dont really know?? probably something that’s gonna make them remember me ;v; 

8. Describe your bias with a colour, and explain why you chose that colour.

mustard yellow (the colour of my icon LOL) it’s probably cos the moment i see him, i’m reminded of that colour. he’s such a ball of sunshine, not like wonpil’s kind of sunshine but more of that warmth ray of light?? thus the mustard since it’s not a bright shade of yellow :)

My questions for you:

1. What are 5 unusual things that you like about your bias?

2. Favourite lyrics from any of your bias groups’ songs?

3. A song you wished Day6 would cover/hope to cover soon?

4. Would you prefer to have a talent in singing, dancing or rapping?

5. How did you first find out about your bias group(s)?

6. Have you ever had a personal encounter/any interactions with your bias groups? (Be it on internet or in real life) If so, describe it!

7. How would you imagine your life not being a fan of your bias groups?

8. The chance to be able to hang out personally with your bias group for 1 day or get unlimited concert tickets to your bias groups’ concert?

i’m tagging: @noa-noa-noa @wonpillows (if it’s not too heavy for yall!!) @jyplovesday6 @dowoonscookies @jaetime @dowoonbiasedtbh :)

[diannaagrcns]

i need like.... a best friend? or a partner? or smth? like, a person i know and love and trust and can exist in the same space with and arrange to do things and go places with bc right now my only options for those sorts of things, longer than 1 day/1 night staying at each other’s places or smth like that, is to do stuff w/ my family which is rly nice, i love that we can do that, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes i don’t wanna go away w/ my parents and my younger siblings!!!! sometimes i just want me nd one other person, maybe 2 ppl, but i can’t split up my family like that, my sister would be my go-to One anyway but she’s never into the same stuff i am, nd all my good friends near me (i.e. my only....friends.....who aren’t online friends) like....are into diff stuff too? and have boyfriends they’d wanna bring? or their housemates who are also their rly close friends? and i’d just like....rly like to get to a place where yeah i have diff groups of friends! and they all have their own friends too! but it’d be nice to have someone who is like a Top Tier friend, and i’m theirs?? idk i just don’t have a lot of rly deep, meaningful, long-term close connections w/ ppl and it HATE it bc i feel like im missing out not just on what relationships could be like, but also on just doing things bc things are more fun w/ someone else? and im too scared to do a lot of these things - like travelling!!! taking dance classes! taking ice skating classes! going to concerts! - alone, even though i really wanna do these things!

EDIT: thinking back on writing this post idk if i made it clear enough that like... i have made friends on here that i love and respect and cherish v v much andif we lived much closer to each other, i wouldn’t be feeling the need to make this post bc i already have someone/several someone’s who fit the bill -- but the vast distances between me & most of u mean it’s, like, impossible for us to just casually hang out together or go to brunch or plan a spontaneous weekend getaway to a beach house an hour out of the city or smth like that! bc i’m finally learning how to let myself get emotionally close to ppl but there’s a physical closeness i need too, and that’s what i’m talking abt in this post! just wanted to clear that up bc i don’t want anyone to read this and go “oh.... i thought we were That Close, but i guess not :(” bc in truth, we probs are! it’s just the oceans and continents thing gets in the way :/

[avasilvugh]

TELL ME! I always love your thoughts!

BLESS U

so the all the kids love their moms a Whole Heck of a Lot right and obviously kara and lena love their kiddos more than words can describe and its not that there’s any favoritism??  at all, like none, its just that stella is sort of naturally closer to lena??  in the same way that finn and maia are sort of naturally closer to kara, like there’s a certain sort of distance created when you’re a kid and you physically can’t Be a certain way around one of your parents

so there’s not distance per se but just....things that kara can do with finn and maia that she cant do with stella and things that lena can do with stella that she cant do with finn and maia 

and its not a Thing but then it sort of becomes a Thing ??  not so much for finn and maia bc lena and kara have gotten creative in making sure that lena’s always been able to be as involved in their lives as kara 

but heres the deal: maia and finn have kara’s powers and kara trains them.  that’s cool, thats fine, stella gets why she does; kara takes them to the deo with her a lot and they punch cars together (especially maia, she’s got a Lot of Rage to work through) and they go flying and kara helps them practice control over their powers and stella can’t help but feel a little left out??  bc for the most part, because her siblings are in control of their powers, they have the option to do everything she can with lena but stella doesnt have the same option with kara

and she hides it rlly well!  she does!  bc its not kara’s fault and its not finn and maia’s fault, its just how they are, and stella decides it has to be her fault which in turn feeds into the dark thoughts she already has bc, you know, empath that acts as an emotional sponge for the world

kara and lena both notice little stella withdrawing, kara notices its more around her than lena and is like..heartbroken.  just fucking devastated bc holy shit what did she do how did this happen she fucked up she fucked up and lena tries to comfort her but she’s p worried too like fuck whats going on 

and it doesnt help that stella can literally feel everything that they feel???  so she just shoves her feelings down even more and bounces back and then it boils over and this one in her class says her brother said that her brother is a word that makes stella shake with anger and she just hauls off and punches the girl

lena’s usually the parent the school calls first but she’s in opal city for a conference so lena calls kara, then the school calls kara and she’s in the middle of an interview and she let lena go to voicemail bc if its urgent she’ll call back but then she’s like “crap, it’s my daughter’s school” and her subject (idk wonder woman or smth) is like “omg no don’t worry, family first” and is super understanding when kara bolts

and like.......she would have expected this from maia, maybe (maia, who still takes the supplement that suppresses her powers bc she doesnt trust herself not to, maia, who gets so numb she just sometimes hits stuff just to feel something) but not stella??  not tiny little stella that used to sob when she accidentally pulled lena’s hair as a toddler or completely forgot kara had superstrength and would apply bandaid after bandaid when she bumped her elbow on the table

so she gets to the school and stella’s just Not Talking, in full shut down like she gets when she gets fried from the world (its sort of sensory overload??  thats the best way to describe it) and she shies away when kara reaches for her, tries to tip her face up to get a better look at the black eye she’s got forming

pls note that stella’s maybe eleven and still Small and she looks even tinier to kara now, looks more like the baby she pulled out of an abandoned car on the pier, and kara’s heart twists and twists at the way stella wont look at her

so she lays her phone on the chair next to stella and marches into the principals office and, while she agrees that stella shouldnt have resorted to violence, she also fully trusts and believes that her daughter wouldnt do anything without reason and she just verbally eviscerates the other mom, who tries to make it out like her daughter hasnt been harassing stella for years or anything (bc kara fucking commits every name to memory, every person that has ever hurt her kids, remembers their names what they said or did and she seethes bc she cant ??  fix all their problems for them???)

and when she marches back out, stella’s playing candy crush and has managed to escape with only suspension for the rest of the day and she still wont look at kara but she grabs onto kara’s hand with surprising force and kara’s like Okay, everything is going to be Okay

eventually stella says it, not to kara, but to alex bc she cant face her mom, either of her moms, with this, not when she’ll feel everything kara feels and she cant handle how it’ll hurt her to know that stella feels so angry and so useless, feels like she cant keep up with kara so she doesnt feel like she should even try, like she doesnt deserve to be kara zor-el’s daughter 

so alex asks if she cant tell this to kara and stella sort of sobs out a please and alex is a lot better at compartmentalizing, which is a skill stella appreciates bc it means all she can feel is alex’s love for her, kindness, warmth, not the way alex’s heart is breaking for her youngest niece

so alex tells kara and kara is fucking devastated like holy shit how did she not see this and alex and lena both are like hey its okay, she buries her feelings, thats part of her powers and lena’s like i didnt see it either but none of it helps bc kara’s like i failed her, i failed my kid

stella usually carpools w/ her best friend home or to lena’s office after school but kara all but demands an afternoon off, storming into snapper’s office and throwing him for like.....several loops with the way she basically tells him she’s taking this thursday and every thursday hereafter off.  and she calls ari’s mom to tell her that she’s picking up stella and she’s the first car at pick up and she picked up stella’s favorite drink from starbucks on her way over and her heart sort of twists a little at the obvious surprise on stella’s face to see her but she works extra hard to box that up and it must be working because stella’s stormy expression has already cleared a bit by the time she makes it to the car

when they pull up to the deo, stella figures that it must be time for her like biannual brain scans, to see how she’s matching up with other telepathic aliens bc they still dont know that much abt her species, but then kara’s guiding her down a different hallway, still just chatting with her abt her day and stuff like that

they walk into one of the Many training rooms and stella’s like ?????  and kara tosses her a gym bag from a locker that stella notices has her name on it and is like i know it’s really hard to not be able to do what your brother and sister can and i am so sorry that i never saw how much you’re struggling.  and i know its not fair that you dont get to punch cars with us, but you can punch this punching bag and talk to me and stella’s sort of overwhelmed??  but in a good way for once

so thats how they start spending thursday afternoons.  kara has alex teach stella proper form after that first day and then they figure out a routine—kara greets stella with a snack afterschool and they head to the deo and dont talk about the heavy stuff until after stella’s changed, after kara’s wrapped stella’s hands, until stella’s gotten a few good punches in, kara steadying the bag.  then it all starts coming out, all the terrible thoughts stella has, all the horrible things she feels that arent even her feelings to begin with, all these awful orphaned emotions that she takes on without meaning to

the system works rlly well bc stellas too wrapped up in her own head, in her words and in making sure she’s in the proper stance, throwing her weight the right way to notice anything kara’s thinking or feeling which is good bc she’s a kid and she shouldnt be worried about her mom’s stuff, she should just feel safe enough to let kara carry some of the burden

THIS GOT RLLY LONG AND I HAVE MORE SO ITS UNDER THE CUT SRY

IM GOING TO SCREAM ABT THE DYNAMIC BTWN THE KIDDOS FOR A MINUTE OKAY

finn is the Ultimate big brother but he is So Soft oh my god.  like??  he Will Not hurt anyone, he refuses to but the absolute second it looks like someone’s fucking with his sisters he makes it seem like he is absolutely willing to hurt someone.  he’s only hit someone once, and that’s this one guy that was pulling shit with stella he shouldnt have been (stella was visiting finn at college and definitely wasnt supposed to be at the omega phi party but well u kno how dumb teenagers can be) and finn punched him once, with nowhere near his full strength and the asshole cried and finn only felt a little bad

but !  for the most part he’s not the beat ppl up for my sisters kind of brother, he’s the do you wanna talk about it brother, the you’re on your period so i ran over to the corner store and got those stick on heat packs you like and also three pints of ben and jerrys brother, the your date bailed and youre crying in your room and think i cant hear it so i cancelled my plans and now we’re going to have a movie night on the couch, mama ordered chinese food brother

he’s the one that follows maia and cleans up the mess she’s made but only after he’s wrapped her up in the tightest hug he thinks she’ll tolerate and promised not to tell moms anything.  he’s the one that helps her keep a lid on it most days, appearing from a classroom and pulling her into it when it looks like she’s about to rip a locker door off its hinges.  the one that intervenes with teachers on her behalf after she blows up in class, smoothes things over so their moms dont have to get involved or ever know about it

he’s the one that acts as a buffer for stella a lot of the time, especially when they’re very little.  he keeps by her side when she’s very small, still unsteady on her feet and that’s their holding pattern, her stumbling and him right beside her and offering her his hand.  he’s the one that acts as a go between for her when the world overwhelms her and, ranking just below their moms, is one of her favorite people and one of her Certified Safe Places.  the list is a small one (basically consisting of lena, kara, finn, alex, maggie, eliza, and j’onn), it’s v prestigious in his opinion

sweet child of mine, i could wax poetic abt how soft and gentle finn is with his sisters and his mothers and the world in general

MAIA IS SUCH A FIRE STARTER OH MY GOD i love her i love her so much but she is destructive as hell.  like the best way to describe it is this—u know how soft finn is?  he’s kara danvers.  maia?  kara zor-el when angered.  she screams and she rages and she’s a hurricane and she breaks things and burns things but she is so fucking careful with the people she loves and even though she loves flying, she loves not worrying about hurting them more so she keeps her powers suppressed for like.....basically from birth to when she’s about twenty or so and she’s a mess but she’s a mess you call when you’re in a fight in a denny’s parking lot and you know she’ll show up even though it’s 2am and you started the fight

and she loves her family so so much??  so much it hurts???  and she’s not good with feelings like finn and can’t read ppl like stella so she doesn’t know what to do with the way she feels most of the time so she beats ppl up for her siblings without them even having to ask 

she finds finn locked in the girls bathroom once and doesnt even say a fucking word, she just storms into the boys locker room and starts threatening ppl until they point her to the ringleader and he well he never messes with finn ever again and quite honestly flinches whenever maia danvers walks into a room

stella gets called a freak?  technically maia doesn’t beat the kid up that said it, bc he’s like twelve, but she still intimidates the hell out of him.  in college, stella comes out and like most ppl r cool w/ it but this one dude in her freshmen seminar calls her a dyke and stella doesnt even necessarily tell maia, but she’s in the city and has brunch with her the next day and can fucking see it in her face and so she does beat him up

most ppl at school dont realize their mom is Lena Luthor bc she’s mostly known as mrs danvers or maia/finn/stella’s mom/other mom and she rlly looks v different when she’s at the school or at a recital or performance or game, usually in casual clothes with her hair down and sunglasses on, so no one ever rlly puts it together but once maia heard these kids saying that any luthor still standing is a threat, you know? and she sort of destroys them

i mean, to be clear, they r alive

they also dont ever say the name luthor within their high school ever again

when she gets older, she sort of mellows out thanks to age and maturity and also a fuck ton of therapy but she still verbally destroys ppl and is that person that’s always like they’re not treating you right?  leave their ass

and stella oh little stella

she’s like very much the baby of the family, like there’s abt five years btwn her and finn and three btwn her and maia and she idolizes her siblings even if she’ll never voice it

she is also a giant brat sometimes like she mercilessly blackmails them for rides and party invites and whatever else she wants (obviously not mercilessly, never about the big stuff, never about anything real) and they know she’d never follow through on her threats but they give her whatever it is she wants anyway bc that’s sort of part of the game they play, you know?

she also takes like.....a lot of care for them.  like as much as they protect her, she protects them.  she’s usually the first line of defense when things get shitty, bc she feels it??  and is sort of forced into noticing first.  when finn starts getting nightmares, it’s stella that clambers into his bed and starts telling him stories.  she’s the first to get a Bad Vibe from maia’s bf and she fucking acts on it, tells their moms.  she knows when her siblings are happy and she cheers them on so fucking loudly and she knows when theyre hurting and she’s the first to bring them kleenex and snacks

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

0202

this draft has been opened for a few hours now maybe’s the time to write it lmao

SO, to start things off, you’re super cool and like i was pp intimidated at first ? but i feel like it’s normal since i’m much younger and all that. ur a tolerable adult tho so in the end i got comfier and like that’s neat ! we don’t really /talk/ but seeing u in my notes is always nice tbh

also like two anons said earlier i also come and check ur blog when smth happens on issues that i personally can’t touch bc like that’s not for me to say shit and all, like that time stan twt tried to claim jungwoo said the n word - i hadn’t seen the clip so i was like huh, better check [redacted]’s blog to see what this is all about ! and seeing ur anons were saying it was a bullshit reach i knew i could trust it bc it was on ur blog. now that was a fun storytime and i can talk about the thing that could get me killed depending on who sees it and it will go in the see more bc it may get long and annoying ! ( it gets REALLY long i hadn’t expected that... )

i... probably have a problem with some of the people you surround yourself with and follow, i used to follow some of them and the reason i unfollowed was the uhhhh aphobia hehe uh yeah i guess this is tumblr and it isn’t that serious and all that but it’s still pretty disheartening to see... i could name a few of them off the top of my head ( but won’t because i don’t really feel like getting pointless anon hate for being a fragile acey lol ) and everytime i see you rb from them it just feels bad which probably makes sense but i’m trying to make myself feel bad abt feeling bad that’s the guiltception in me

this is a weird thing to mention here but i take these ‘number’ posts as like... telling everything you usually wouldn’t say, shit you’d keep to yourself for a number of reasons, so i’m including this here because i thought it was important at least to me. this isn’t an attack on any of them nor is it an attack on you, i genuinely think you have a good heart, it just always feels a bit bad when someone you look up to seems to be lenient with some stuff that isn’t like, very cool. whether they think aspec folks belong in the community isn’t really the question to me, it’s just kind of radn’t when they clown aspec people for existing

like i said i’m mentioning it because i think it’s important, but especially because i trust you to an extent, like i trust you to be a good person and not send your friends to kill me on anon sort of ? i’m bad with words not that it’s anything new but that’s the idea. i don’t know how you feel about this or if you even know they posted this stuff, i’m really mentioning it because i feel like you’re the kind of person who might take that into consideration maybe. i don’t think i’d expect you to do anything about it either, this is just like... letting you know ! what you do with this information is up to you anyway. yeah, that’s pretty much what it is ; letting you know how these things make me feel, you don’t have to care or do anything about it.

despite this... three para long rant abt ur mutuals... which i apologise for and it’s really not about all ur mutuals either like a lot of the ppl u rb from are also pretty nice and like don’t make these postsTM it’s just a select few... ur really cool ! and yeah ur really funny like sometimes i feel funny and then i see ur posts and i think aha, this is top clown school i wish that were me ( i mean clown school in a good way i promise it’s a compliment ). i don’t know if i wish we were closer or anything bc i feel like u’d probably find me insufferable if we talked more but ya ur great !

[yoonasgf]

171013- saturday a rant dnt bother reading

i feel like i wanna talk to someone but then i think about it and what am i even expecting ? whenever i say smth i regret it immediately so just thinking abt expressing whats bothering me to others i just know ill regret adn feel guilty and embarrassed about it later so i never talk to anyone abt anything that goes on in my mind and it gets to the point where its so over bearing i feel like its drowning my head somehow , im so.. lonely wld be the word but lonely in my thoughts but like that doesnt even make sense idk im just writing here bc i need to let my feelings out somehow and i’d usually do it on twitter but like the 140 characters thing anyway i just feel like i want to let things out but whenevr i do i never like the answer i get, like if they give me advice i feel annoyed cus i wasnt asking for help i was simply stating how i felt (and most of the time its stuff that cant really be fixed?), if they tell me stuff like “i love you !” its like ok? ik its mean but someone elses love does not affect my situation at all since its an inner issue that doest rly have to do with self-esteem, and if they just are like ‘yeah’ or ‘thats so bad:(’ ijust feel like theyre not paying attention (even if they are) which makes me regret opening up, so i dont really know what im expecting when i vent to someone i guess i just want to feel like someone is listening to me idk im like so full of thoughts and feelings. writing this feels like its calming me down a little bit so i think im just gonna keep writing, in english (its funny how id rather open up in english since its my second language i feel more alienated from it so it feels less real? what im talking about seems less seriousdk) so whats circling in my mind is that i dont have anyone im urging to meet i dont have anyone i truly like anymore and that my ladies is so fucking sad and frustrating that ive mentally grown apart from my friends im just not myself when im with them and sure my fake-extroverted persona ive built throughout highschool is good at doing her job and she still gets along with them so well but now it feels like that side of me, the fake one, is another person like we used to share some “mental common ground” but not anymore i just dont have anything in common with that persona anymore so whenever im with my old friends i just become her it’s like i completely leave reality it makesme so lonely inside. and i cant help it its unvoluntary how i switch places with the other me i cant stop it and i hate it because i feel like its drowning me alive, along with my personal issues. lately ive been isolating myself a lot, i stay in the classroom during recess and i havent gone out in like a month.actually last time i went out i decided i just wont go out anymore i just think its not for me i truly dont have fun. is that okay like is that normal? like is just dont enjoy the loudness and the kind of jokes that go on, i think if grown too fast. i justdont wannatalk about drinking andsex and how evil the math teacher is, like its fine once ia while but iwanna discuss science and philosohy and share thoughs too,  anything else is so irrelevant it’s so sos irrrelevant to me. not that i dont enjoy good laughs anddrinking, but for that i feel like i wanna be with someone who is special to me? like someone whoi respect intellectually first, and then we can laugh at dog memes. someone i can show my realpersona to,and the thing is i have my best friends she’s literally so perfect bc she’s smart but also silly so we can talk abt hitler but then we can talk abt that one episode of sponge bob ? but the thing is shes graduating this year, and she has like an almost boyfriend, so i decided i should start getting used to her not beingwith me, but thats way more lonely than i thought. the guy thing, it wasnt planned, and shes with her crush most of the time which i totally understand i watn them to be together and stuff but i dont have anyone else but her- that is the real me not the fake persona, the fake persona hasmany people- but i though “she deserves this” so decided to step back so they can concentrate on each other. she ofc wouldve never asked this of me, but it seems like it was the best, sometimes i feel like a huge burden to her. but now imrealizing how lonely it has made me, being with her is like letting go of a breath that ive been holding and im realizing how much i need her. so i thought of like ‘slipping’ back in but im faced with the fact that we will infact part ways when she graduates because we’re attending universities in different parts of the country so maybe i should be getting used to the solitude, until someone else comes. and someone else seems to be here, this one friend i have in my new class, but im so scared of opning up to her, im scared of her kindness to me. i always think “why is she so nice? why does she stand up for me” at first she wasa bit too rough for me but as we spent time together i think she realized what kind of person i am and changed her ways so now were getting closer and closer and it makes me so 불안해 and 두려워 (idk how to express the sentiment in english) i dont even know what im scared of, it;s not like ive been hurt before in that way i think? maybe i have i cant remember. the point is, i know i should let this person in because she’d help me but i just cant seem to opne the freaking door its like my hand is shakinly holding teh doorknob without actually twisting it. i do think i will eventually tho. anyway. i was saying i spend alot of time alone these days, reading,studying, twitter, watching stuff, and its really nice i really do enjoy being by myself but i honestly dont have manyb things to do? so eventually the Thoughts come, and lately what ive been meditating is how the reason why i dont get close or attached to people (again the fake me might get closed but not me) is because simply no one is as good company to me as myself? which is fine wyou know many people feel like that, but i hate that if im alone poeple thinkg i dont have friends or that im sad and they think its bad that i am alone which is really not the case. i could be with ppl if i wanted to i just chose not to. theres this particular guy in my class actually, who thinks he has to be my friends bcim often alone and it irriates me so much bc 1. hes interrumpting my enjoyable me-time 2. he does it out of pity and boi do i hate pity like sometimes i just stay in the classroom doing homework or reading and he comes in likw “why are u always alone:(” because i want to you fucking dumbass andtoday or maybe it was yesterday particularly he said “why are you always alone is it becayse you dont have freinds bc you went on exchange and dont know anyone” llike um no im alone because i literally want to be alone you absolute dipshit and ido have 10 times more friends than you i just dont feel like being wit hthem you fucking asshole it pissed me off so much as if he’s ?? helping in anyway ?? i just wish anyone whosaw me alone wld tjust think ‘i guess she likes being alone’ isntead of thinking that im alone bc no one is willing to keep me company. isuddenly got really mad writting this. i think this really calmed me downishould do it more often its not like anyone who follows me here wld open it, like ideally this is whatdiaries are for but i dnt like to waste paper. im gonna write the date as well