#right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

[chaos-coming]

Google search: how do i get my sister to go to therapy bc she is Not Okay and is making everyone miserable and starts screaming at anyone who suggests she gets help.

Tldr: my sister thinks boundaries are ways to control other peoples behavior towards you so you arent uncomfortable, not lines you draw for YOURSELF not to cross so that you dont get in situations that make you uncomfortable.

[minimallyminnie]

Poly Scarabia where…

You’re always interlocked arms with Kalim on one side and Jamil holds your hand on the other

Where you wake up and see Jamil holding Kalim by his waist, digging his face into his back while the white haired holds your waist

You tease Jamil while he’s cooking and end up getting into a flour fight later on

Riding with Kalim on a magical carpet ride, he laughs while you hold onto him, looking at the sights

Daily messages from both of them when they have a break from their duties as a regular student…

Well…maybe more than a little text from Kalim…

Definitely having multiple hugs and kisses from Kalim and words of encouragement from Jamil. They both provide words and affection for you.

If you have an awful day, be prepared for both of them. They want you to know they care a lot :)

Kalim makes chai for you and grabs all the fluffiest, comfiest pillows for you. Jamil grabs water for you and adjusts you so your body won’t hurt later on

If you want the silence, then they won’t talk. Tiny headcanon of mine but they’d probably talk to each other using sign language instead while they hug you from both sides

‘Should we get them anything else Jami?’

‘I think they just want us by their side right now.’

‘Ok! Got it!’

When you sniffle and pull them in tighter, they hug you back just a tight tenfold

If you want some verbal comfort, they got you too!

Kalim showers you with encouragement and compliment after compliment. He’s learning and improving on what’s too much so he knows what’s the limit.

Jamil tells you how happy you make him feel. How you saved him from doing something he’d regret for his life when he overblotted.

They couldn’t see your face, you were still crying but instead of your lips being abused by your teeth, on your face was a small smile

The Serpent of the Sands would still be plagued by guilt from his overblot

Frequently, there’s nights where his hold on you and Kalim is incredibly tight

You two instantly wake up when Jamil sits up immediately, hyperventilating from his nightmare. His hands grip his hair at the roots as he tries to calm himself

Kalim hesitates on comforting him so he just stays quiet or goes to get hot milk or tea for him

You on the other hand stay close to him and ground him

He takes deep breaths along with you and just melts in your touch

When he gets back to a normal breathing and a properly functioning mind, he scrambles his other hand for Kalim’s

The other comes in the door, carefully holding a cup for Jamil and you can feel the relief

Despite his sharp words, he truly loves both of you

We can’t forget about Kalim either can we?

He’s skilled in hiding his own feelings so when you three got together, it was incredibly difficult for you AND Jamil!

But over time you can tell now. He wakes up stiff and unmoving

His hands grip hard on whatever they’re on and he bites his lip to mute himself from both of you

He’s independent! He can deal with this on his own! By himself!

That’s a lie. You think as you held Kalim to your chest while he cries

Jamil makes some tea and sets it on the side table while you take him in your arms

When Kalim is willing to, he lifts one of the arms he had from his face and holds Jamil’s

The three of you are a strange bunch but it works!

Kalim doesn’t mind PDA as long as it’s not overwhelming and huge which is ironic considering his personality for being huge on things. Kisses on the cheeks, lips, or his hands are welcomed for sure! It’s not uncommon to see Kalim leaning into your side as he rambles about something. Behind doors, he much rather be more intimate than what he handles outside. Longer, more loving kisses and cuddles on the bed.

As for Jamil, he does have stricter boundaries about PDA than Kalim. Chaste kisses on only his cheeks or lips, hand holding, and side hugs are alright. But nothing else than that. Behind the doors, Jamil loves kissing you and holding you tightly. His embraces are filled with adoration and affection for you. He doesn’t speak very often when he’s like that, his actions speak louder though.

Sometimes you still side eye Jamil when Kalim’s not looking. It’s just something that stayed after what happened with his overblot.

Jamil has that body pillow in his room right? He definitely rolls over to cuddle you two when he sleeps.

Kalim is usually in the middle and he’s the victim of both cuddling attacks

Even if he needs to go to the restroom at night or something, he will will himself into not moving because you two are hugging him

When you give them warm embraces and needed words, they automatically fall harder for you

It’s more evident when you can read their thoughts but…

The snake who got the warmest hug from you just melted in your arms. A content smile on his face as he relaxed and hugged you. His head limp on your shoulder as he took in your hug for as long as he could.

The prince who got reassuring words about himself had tears in his eyes. His heart overflowing and craving for more of the understanding words after being so used to cutthroat words. His tears ran down his cheeks as he smiled happily

They provide you both in exchange. You deserve a whole lot better than them.

You three had a rough get together actually because, Kalim ran away from you two the minute you confessed

Jamil found him later and you two found out how he was scared. Scared to be the dumb one of the relationship and how he didn’t want to take something away from his friend? Retainer? Whatever they were again.

Well…guess who took Kalim’s first kiss…? AND IT WASN’T EVEN YOU—

You three got together after that with a here a now rocky road

Both you and Kalim go straight to Basketball practice when you have the time to

Watching Jamil play against Ace and Floyd is entertaining considering the multiple times you have gotten hit by a basketball in the face

You both cheer for him at his games and always bring some sort of refreshment for the team, to which everyone on the team approves!

Until someone throws a pack of food at someone else…

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Jamil audibly sighs when you’re walking back to Ramshackle with them

“I told you, explicitly written and spoken, not to bring food for the team.”

“Uh huh. Yeah.” You nod as you look at his undone bun, crumbs stuck in it as well as stains on his Jersey and his jacket.

Kalim let’s out a laugh and crosses his arms behind his head “Ace got a headshot on you [Reader]!”

You groan and roll your eyes. “He’ll get what he deserves tomorrow when I won’t share the homework answers with him…”

You break your sharp expression and break out laughing when Kalim attempts to muffle his giggles

Jamil smiles softly at both of you before he kisses you two…and then pinches your foreheads.

“Ow! What was that for?!” You cried out rubbing your head. “Making a huge mess.”

“Jami! That hurt!”

“Oh no, I didn’t know.” He gives a smirk before it’s replaced by panic from you pushing him into the grass besides Ramshackle, he grabs your hand which in turn makes you grab Kalim’s. Falling onto the grass, the three of you are silent.

Only the sound of crickets before laughter erupted from you and became contagious to Kalim and Jamil

They both came close to your sides.

Yeah. They’re really lucky to have you.

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

[another-lost-mc]

library games

solomon likes to tease his apprentice, but things are bound to change the day he takes it a little too far.

solomon x gn!reader

1.7k words | nsfw | resolved sexual tension

cw: possessive behaviour, suggestive but not explicit sexual content.

a/n: this scenario takes place after the events of overture but can be read as a one-shot.

dark serenade series: part one: overture part two (you are here)

The first thing you notice when you step into Solomon’s library for today’s lesson is the sorcerer himself, his coat hanging off the back of his chair and shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He’s leaning back in his seat with an open book in his lap and he doesn't look up when you enter the room.

You know the moment he’s aware of your presence because his eyes stop scanning the page and there’s a deliberate pause before he closes his book and glances at you expectantly. He smirks and crooks his finger, urging you forward from where you’ve paused in the doorway.

You’re carrying the tomes he assigned as yesterday’s homework and set them on the desk - yellowed, dusty texts filled with magical theory and spells that seem far above your current ability. You’re ready to take your seat, but you realize that Solomon is sitting in the only chair. There should be extras in a room nearby, but he sighs loudly when you turn around to fetch one.

“Can I ask where you’re going?” he asks with a hint of impatience.

“I’m going to get another chair, but I’ll be right back,” you explain quickly, waiting by the door for his approval.

He seems disappointed and you don’t understand why at first, but then he pushes his chair back and pats his thigh invitingly. “If you need a place to sit, my lap is always an option, my darling apprentice.” 

You should be immune to his flirtatious banter by now, but the invitation is so surprising that it makes you sputter and rush away to find a chair that is most definitely not his lap. He chuckles quietly behind you, but by the time you drag another chair into the library, the lighthearted moment between you has passed.

He can be mischievous at times, but you know not to test his patience when his mood turns serious. 

With a flick of his wrist, one of the books with yesterday’s homework slides across the table towards him and you hurriedly take a seat at his side.

“Let’s see how much you’ve learned, shall we?”

After nearly an hour, you’re overwhelmed by the whiplash of his brutal criticism and genuine encouragement. He is relentless as a teacher, correcting you with a firm tone when you can’t recite incantations or complex rituals perfectly from memory. The warm praise he offers when you do answer his questions correctly soothes your rattled nerves like a balm.

You lean back with a sigh and glance at Solomon who’s grown silent next to you. There’s a strange intensity in his gaze that makes you want to hide from his scrutiny. The tense moment passes and he says you’re advancing ahead of schedule. You can’t help how your cheeks grow warm at his appraisal and the pleased twinkle in his eye.

You had fair warning at the beginning of your apprenticeship that he wouldn’t tolerate laziness, disappointment, or failure from you; knowing that you’re exceeding his expectations makes you unspeakably happy. He’s more than a teacher to you, and above all else, you know he considers you a friend - and that’s not a word a man like Solomon uses lightly.

Lately, he seems even more daring as he teases along the boundary that separates friendship and something more romantic. From the early days of your acquaintance, his wisdom and strength gave you comfort and stability. You can’t help but feel uncertain now that he’s becoming noticeably more affectionate.

When it comes to Solomon, you know nothing is ever what it seems. You deflect his flirting and dodge his wandering hands with shaky resolve while you try to piece together the truth behind his intentions. It would be so easy to give into the temptation, to let him guide you down another new path in your relationship, but you don’t want to risk heartache later if your assumptions about his feelings for you are incorrect.

Solomon pushes his chair away from the table abruptly and it shakes you from your thoughts. He collects some of the books into his arms and he heads towards the towering wall of shelves behind you.

“I’ll put these away so you can take a short break before we begin today’s lesson,” he offers. He must be in a good mood because he’s humming cheerfully while he returns his books to their proper places.

You’re about to escape to the kitchen to make tea for both of you when he makes a questioning noise. As though he senses your curious gaze on his back, he says without turning around, “I left one of the books on the table. Would you be a dear and hand it to me?”

It’s the smallest book you were given to read after yesterday’s lesson, pushed out of the way early on once he was satisfied you had absorbed its contents. You reach for it but it seems to slide out from under your fingers and further away across the table. You frown and lean forward with your hand stretched out as far as you can manage. Your palm smacks against bare wood as the book slides away yet again.

In one last-ditch effort, you’re on the tips of your toes and nearly flat against the table; you grin triumphantly when you finally have the cover trapped under your fingertips. Your victory is short-lived when an unexpected weight brushes against your back. It causes you to jerk suddenly and the book slips from under your tentative hold. You groan in frustration when it falls over the other side of the table and flops onto the floor.

“I’ve wanted to bend you over my desk like this for days,” a low voice whispers into your ear. 

You’re stunned when you realize Solomon is standing behind you, leaning over you and resting his palms on the table so his arms cage your body in place. You can feel the heat of his body against your back, but he’s not quite touching you. It doesn't matter if he's touching you or not - you're still trapped beneath him.

“You were moving the book on purpose,” you mumble in embarrassment. Your mouth is dry and your cheeks burn when you realize the suggestive position you’re both in. You can’t turn to look at him without bumping against his chest so you hang your head in defeat instead.

It’s not the first time you’ve fallen for one of his tricks and it won't be the last.

One of Solomon’s hands strokes your hip and you try not to squirm. “It was an amusing game at first,” he admits and you know from his tone that he’s smiling. You feel his chest press against your back when he moves closer. His nose is in your hair, and you hear him breathe in deeply. His exhale is a sigh that tickles your ear. “But now that I have you like this, I’m not willing to let you go so easily.”

You try to ignore the hand that’s slowly making its way under your shirt. “Maybe we should talk about this first,” you suggest, but your voice is shaking and your protest sounds weak.

Solomon tuts disapprovingly like your suggestion is barely worth responding to. His fingers make their way across your waist and follow the slope of your belly, squeezing the soft folds of skin with the tiniest bit of pressure that sets your nerves ablaze.

Every time you start to doubt why he’s attracted to you, he distracts you - with murmured desires in your ear, his fingers searching for the places on your body that are most sensitive - and you know he’s doing it on purpose to prove his point.

He continues exploring your chest, rubbing over the pact marks etched into your skin like his touch can erase them. He doesn’t care that his body is littered with the evidence of his own pacts, but jealousy makes his blood boil when he thinks about others having a claim over you. Mine, he thinks when he gives into the temptation to grind against you, letting you feel your effect on him, the way his feelings for you rob him of nearly all self-control.

“Solomon, please—” you plead desperately; whether you want him to keep going or to stop is impossible to say at this point. You’re drowning in the heat of his body so close to yours, the frustration you can feel radiating from him in waves, the possessive hold he has on you.

“You’re mine,” he seethes between gritted teeth, crushing your body to his as he continues to move against you. His hands are exploring freely now, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to bruise, kneading your soft flesh in apology after. He nips at your throat and drags his teeth against your shoulder. He bites down harder than he intends when he hears the first soft, breathy whimper escape you.

When you finally start to move, pushing your hips back against his, it rips a guttural moan from him and snaps the last tethers of his restraint. There’s a hand fisted in your hair and he pulls your mouth towards his. It’s less of a kiss and more of a heated exchange of needy, panting breaths as your quiet moans echo his own desperate sounds. He manages to draw your bottom lip into something resembling a kiss - the first kiss between you - and it gives you a moment of clarity.

“Not here,” you plead against his lips with the last bit of coherency you can muster. You’ve imagined what it might be like to finally give in to him, but you don’t want your first time together to be on an old, uncomfortable desk in his library. 

He seems to understand exactly what it is you want - like he always does -  because his body stutters to a halt and he presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. He moves back enough to turn you around in his arms, and the lustful haze that darkens your eyes makes him powerless to resist you. He pulls you against him and he feels your hands clench in the back of his shirt like you’re afraid he’ll disappear. He brushes his lips against yours, a silent promise that he’s never going to let you go.

“Next time,” he teases with a wicked grin before teleporting you both to his bedroom with an audible pop.

read more: solomon masterlist | obey me masterlist

[welcomehomediscordserver]

(joking) CW: AGGRESSIVE SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR CLOWN FROM THE MOD TEAM AND MEMBERS OVER AT OUR DISCORD SERVER !!

I have found joy in your little show that I rarely find in things. The overwhelming love and care I have not just for these specific characters but for your art and talent as a whole is astounding. I want you to know that your community, the good parts of it, support you in any endeavor you choose to take. Although this project may have blasted your popularity you are 3-dimensional, you are much more than the creator of welcome home. You are a multi-medial, skilled, talented, and strong artistic being. Throughout all of this I have had nothing but the utmost respect for you. I will continue to no matter what. Just know we over at The Welcome Home discord server have been following your art closely and appreciating every detail! Do what is best for you clown, and continue to do so! -Reggie

It's been a while since something has grabbed me like this... Welcome Home is one of the most precious things I have ever seen, the creation has and will it always have a place in my heart. Thank You creator for sharing this piece of you heart with us. But your safety is more important, I hope that you'll be safe. -Jax

"dear clown, from the heart of one fan to many others, i find so much comfort in your project that i hope that even when things just like now are awful, you know that there's people simultaneously supporting you in every step of the way! We can wait however long you believe is necessary, you deserve to feel respected with your own passion project! And with that to a close, i wish you well! Thank you for giving us a grand welcome home!" -gremints

dear clown, you don't know me. i don't know you either. but everything you've been working on? it's changed my life. and i know that sounds cliche and silly, but it's true. you've inspired me to keep working on my own passion projects, to keep going. because of you, i have found a little community to call home. because of you, i have rekindled my love of silliness and color and creativity. i cannot thank you enough. without you, i would not have found the friends i have now. whatever you do, i want you to know that we're here to support it. and i hope that wherever you go, you also find home. - moth

Hi you dont know me but im Bug, one of the mods^^, I just want to start my message with this, Before I found welcome home, everything for me was going downhill, I had lost so much that was important to me in less than 2 weeks, I couldn't get out of bed and I wasn't doing my favorite things anymore. I couldn't even smile, My eyes were tired and heavy from crying. But thanks to you, Clown. Wonderful you..and your beautiful vibrant creation. With characters I saw and adored right away. I've smiled, danced, sang my favorite songs again, met new and amazing friends & began to draw again. I felt happiness faster than I thought I would again. A peace from your life helped heal some of mine and I'm grateful. Your creations bring me and so many others joy, But even then it as not as important as you. Yes It brings many smiles to people and i hope that doesn't sound to overwhelming.. But although we can't fix the issue people have caused you, we can't apologize for those who don't respect the boundaries you've set and we can't take back what others have done we want you to know that no matter what, the good of the community will always Have what's best for you in mind, in our server we make sure all rules are followed and you're privacy and mental health is respected. Take as much time as you need to take it all in, relax, do what's best for clown. 💚 take care of yourself before aything else. We thank you for all you've done already. -Boogerbug

EVERYTHING BELOW WAS SUBMITTED BY MEMBERS !!

Hi Clown! Just another rando passing through! While I have known about your artwork for a few years now, I never dove into it until Welcome Home became popular, and I genuinely love the vision you have. Your other artwork is also phenominal and genuinely inspires me, and it always has, even before I discovered the Welcome Home website. Your character designs are impeccable, the way you portray the muppets is genuinely awesome and brings back a lot of good memories, as I grew up watching puppet shows. Explains one reason I enjoy your work doesn't it?Despite making godly artwork, people forget that you are a human like the rest of us. Most people who become famous or popular because of something they have done experience this and it is unfortunate, but there are some of us that know you have a life and are already struggling. Take the time you need to rejuvinate yourself and try not to let these people get to you, as hard as it is to do, as even I still struggle with this daily. These are your creations, and you deserve to have control over what happens with them, and the disrespect this slowly growing fanbase has for your requests is terrible. Hoping that things eventually improve on your end, especially since you already aren't in a safe environment, something I also understand. I've already planned on throwing some bucks at you through Ko-Fi once I open my new bank account, and even if I cant, I still want to help prove that you are worthy and deserve better than this. You are incredibly talented and I hope to see Welcome Home and all of your other works of art flourish over time! - Sunnie/Mizo

Now onto the big reveal....

Our server members as well as a few mods all banded to together to create a collage showing our appreciation and support for Clown during these rough times. I hope this can serve as a reminder that despite the shitty people out there, there is a large community who still very much respects and enjoys every aspect of Clowns artwork.

An art collage put together by the moderators with art submitted by members.

Below are more signages as well as the usernames of everyone who participated:

Micah

Maximus

Beans

Wynn

Avery

Global

Vinnzhe

- and lastly, the rest of the welcome home discord server 🩷

@partycoffin

[moonlit-positivity]

Healing & Emotional Work Masterlist✨

Hi, my name is Stinky & here's a post introducing myself & my blog✨

Listed below are all individual posts that I have written about my own journey with healing from an abusive childhood✨

As always, take what you like & leave what you don't ✨

Happy healing ☺️

Resources & Coping Skills✨

New To Mental Health? Please Start Here!

How To Find The Right Therapist For You

"Trauma Informed" Therapy vs Other Types of Therapy

What is a Boundary?

How to Recognize When You Need To Set A Boundary

Coping with Flashbacks & Panic Attacks & Overwhelming Feelings

An Introduction to Emotional Regulation

What is Emotional Regulation & Why it's Important (Video)

What is Attachment Theory & Why it's Important (video)

What The Actual Fuck is "Radical Acceptance" and Why Is It So Goddamn Hard (video)

Managing Suicidal Thoughts (shorthand edition)

Tips for Navigating A Crisis Situation

✨Journaling✨: What To Do When You Just Can't Write It Out

How To Stay Organized & Make Your Appointments Through Long Term Dissociation Fogs

An Introduction to Healthy Sexual Boundaries

Feeling 🤬 Destructive? 😤 Healthier Activities for Destructive Tendencies

How to Set Better Goals For Yourself

Facts About Therapy You Might Not Know

Recognizing Abuse: What is Generational Trauma? (Video)

Recognizing Abuse: Trauma Bonding (no, this doesn't mean you bonding with your homies about the same types of trauma y'all share)

Recognizing Abuse: Emotional Takeovers 

Recognizing Abuse: Emotional Abuse

Recognizing Abuse: Love vs Control vs Obsession

Recognizing Abuse: Parentification

Recognizing Abuse: Triangulation

Effects of Abuse: PTSD Hypervigilance

Effects of Abuse: Redefining Respect After You've Been Abused

Effects of CSA & SA That Nobody Ever Talks About

Effects of Trauma That Never Get Acknowledged Out Loud 

Healing Thoughts: Understanding Grounding & Dissociation on a Deeper Level

Healing Thoughts: How to actually feel ur feelings 

Healing Thoughts: How to tolerate being alone with your thoughts

Healing Thoughts: When showering & hygiene is too hard

What the heck is emotional work?✨

Healthier ways to communicate

The root of all healing work (tldr it's ur childhood 🎉)

Attachment theory healing (codependency, enmeshment, & BPD FP attachment)

Attachment & abandonment wounds (BPD FP)

Three short communication tips that can greatly improve your interpersonal relationships

Rejection Sensitivity, Perfectionism, & Abandonment Issues

Am I Being Manipulative? A Checklist of Recognizing Manipulative Behaviors and Taking Accountability

Get To Know The Healing Language ✨

In order to heal you must grieve

What does it mean to "make space" for yourself?

What is "inner child healing"?

How to be kinder with yourself

Unlearn what they taught you

Reframe success & failure (if you have a fear of failure then this one is for you ❤️‍🩹)

Reframe your anger

Reframe the process of moving on

Focus on what you can control

Affirmations & things you need to hear (just trust me)✨

affirmations for reclaiming your voice around authority figures

affirmations for RSD

affirmations for feeling ur feelings

affirmations for self forgiveness

affirmations for healing from childhood trauma

affirmations for healing codependency & attachment (BPD FP)

things I wish I knew before I started healing (part 1)

things I wish I knew before I started healing (part 2)

things I learned while healing

things your inner child needs to hear

you are normal

slow down and take a deep breath

you can move now. you are safe.

I believe you

yes it was that bad

your anger is valid

you need to hear this (trust me)

How to start healing? Start with the truth✨

the very first hard reality you need to face 

the second hard reality that's gonna hit you like a train 

the third and worst hard reality there is

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Looking forward to updating the list as we grow 🪴

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[bagopucks]

T. Zegras - Stand By Me

✄————————————

Trevor Zegras x Reader, platonic Jamie involved in one bit.

Requested✨

Word Count: 2.2k

Warning(s); general angst, the reader has an auto immune disease called lupus, one mention of blood, sorta-kinda-maybe smut if you squint.. but like.. not really.

I did some research, but because I didn’t want to cross any boundaries and be too wrong, I didn’t go into much depth over anything. I listened to too much Billy Joel while writing this. I’ve decided Billy Joel love ballads go well with Trev.

—————————————

Trevor Zegras as the world knew him:

The aggressive, egotistical, hotshot hockey player. Rough and tumble, always mouthy. The loud, constantly moving, big expressions and huge personality kind of guy.

Trevor as I knew him:

A kind, gentle, considerate boy. Who made sure he set my pill organizer out for me every morning before he went to practice. Who made sure we were always stocked up on prescribed lotions and ice packs. And would spring up from the couch at the first sign of a fever. And learned how to cook on nights when I was in so much pain I could hardly move.

It took forever to get officially diagnosed with lupus. Trevor had been there from the beginning, when symptoms first began. At first, we hadn’t thought much of it. I passed off body aches for period or ovulation issues. I assumed the rashes were allergic reactions, and the fevers were just random waves of California heat. We had been oblivious. When things got worse, I began seeing a doctor.

Test after test had been run through. I was prescribed various medications, some of which helped and others didn’t. But the ones that did help, never lasted long. Eventually, it got to the point that Trevor feared leaving me home alone. Especially on the days he would wake up, and I would be unable to pull myself out of bed. I hated it. He hated it. We feared the unknown.

As much as it overwhelmed me, I knew it overwhelmed Trevor too. All the road trips, calling me, feeling horrible for leaving and saying how he wanted me to call somebody at home if I needed them. He was scared, but it was knowing he wasn’t in control that freaked him out. I assumed that’s why he became so observant and vigilant when we finally did get a diagnosis. Because at last, he could control things. Not everything, but some things.

Trevor hadn’t been home the day I got the diagnosis from my doctor, but it gave me time to really figure things out on my own. I knew little about the autoimmune disease, and as much as I loved Trevor, I knew his endless questions would only overwhelm me more than this new information already did. So I did my own research, allowed myself time to process and cry. Come to terms, and eventually begin working on a game plan for myself.

When Trevor did come home, it was a process of sitting him down on the couch and talking him through it all with everything organized on my laptop. Trevor tried so hard to understand, but I knew it would be a lot of trial and visual learning for him. And I had been right.

“So.. so, this is what you have?” He pointed to the computer screen. I nodded. “And.. it’s permanent?”

“Yeah, babe.” Trevor nodded. He tried to understand. What did autoimmune mean? What was Lupus? Why did it have to have so many big words attached to it?

“So.. where does all the treatment start?”

“Do you have to take medicines?”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“We can still be together, right?”

“This is a lot.”

I answered most of the questions, at least the ones I knew answers to. The others I promised to answer when I knew what to say.

Trevor got so tense with himself when he was home. We used to be a pretty rambunctious couple, but after I got prescribed blood thinners, and the body aches got worse, a lot of that changed. Trevor became far more timid around me, and at first he was as gentle as a toddler when touching a newborn baby. I helped set the pace for what was okay and what wasn’t.

“T, lemme see that ribbon.” I reached across the living room floor. I tried to snatch up the red ribbon before his hand flew out to take it.

“Let me curl the ribbon.” Something I had always done during Christmases. But it involved open scissors.

“Trevor, it’s fine…”

“Yeah but.. what if you cut yourself? Just teach me how to do it.”

Outside and inside of the bedroom, we set paces together.

“Should I- maybe…” Trevor shifted, causing me to groan. Worst time to ask questions is when you’re already in somebody.

“Trevor.. you don’t have to be so gentle.” I reached up to rest a hand on his forearm. “Why don’t I take the lead this time?” He relented and turned us over. He feared hurting me even when he didn’t do much.

“I’ll be fine, okay? Just pay attention. I promise I’ll tell you if it ever hurts, or if something is wrong.”

I’d always told Trevor that he did extremely well, but he wasn’t perfect. I didn’t expect him to be. And accidents happened.

“Babe?” Sometimes the rashes simply broke out over night.

“Trevor, Shh.” I tried to roll away from him, but when his fingers ghosted over the irritated skin on my face, I gasped at the feeling.

“Fuck- T!” I scolded, my eyes opened immediately.

He hated when he felt like he messed up. I hated when I scolded him for things he didn’t mean to do.

“…I told Jamie you weren’t feeling good anyway, so he went out without us.” Trevor had been rambling for a while, both of us in the bathroom doing our own thing. He was busy grabbing an extra roll of paper towels from the cabinet under the sink. I was trying to brush my teeth. I attempted to step out of the way when Trevor harshly pushed the cabinet door shut, but the corner skinned my calf anyway. I gasped, and managed to choke on toothpaste in the process.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry!” Trevor was frantic all evening over my leg, apologizing over and over. After we got the arguably minimal amount of bleeding to stop, he still peeled back the bandages every so often to make sure everything was okay. I had to tell Trevor we were wasting bandaids.

The days when I felt absolutely disgusted with myself were the worst. I hadn’t lost all my hair, but it certainly thinned. And I hated looking in mirrors when my rashes got so bad that my skin would crack and bleed. Showers became hell. Trevor started to take them with me more often.

“It’s okay, baby.” He ran his hands through my hair, never commenting on the tiny strands that would remain on his hands long after he pulled them away. I stood tucked into his chest, arms folded up between us, fully enveloped by him.

My flawless boyfriend.

“I know it irritates.” Washing my body was the hardest on days when the rashes were all over. The dry skin never took well to the water, even if it provided a momentary relief.

There were days Trevor wouldn’t even bother with a washcloth. He would put the body wash on his hands and run them over my body from top to bottom. It made me cry. I would never understand how one emotion caused him to completely shift his personality around me.

Love was a powerful feeling, I suppose.

Love turned Trevor from a rambunctious loud, abrasive guy. Into a completely devoted and caring man. A gentle, expressive, and considerate man.

“We’re almost done,” he whispered as he ran his hands down my legs, kissing the patchy skin on my calves and ankles. I found the rashes were always the worst on my ankles after I wore shoes for long periods of time. The tongues of said shoes always rubbed my skin uncomfortably. I had to buy longer socks to help with that.

After Trevor finished lathering my body in wash, he’d trail his hands back up and all over. Sometimes I was lucky enough to sit on the lip of the tub while he shaved my legs. Times when my body hurt too bad to stand very long, or even bend over, he offered to help. Those moments he often found it easiest to make jokes and cheer me up.

“Haven’t mowed the lawn in a long time, eh?” He mumbled with a cheeky grin as he knelt in front of me, pulling my foot up onto his thigh while the other hand reached for my shaving cream. I giggled and ruffled his wet hair. Sometimes I found his comments embarrassing, but he was a guy. He was bound to find the weirdest statements amusing.

“I love you so much, T.” I whispered while his nose was scrunched and his brow was furrowed, face inches from my knee as he tried hard not to cut it with the razor. Hands that used to pinch and gently smack me when he was teasing or play fighting. Hands that used to throw me around like a rag doll after I challenged him to a wrestling match, now so light and tender. Like I was fine china.

Trevor also learned that dab-drying worked better for my skin than rubbing the towel all over my body after showers. It got the job of drying done, but it was far easier on my body.

I loved the tactic, but what I loved even more was the little sounds he’d make while he did it. They always made me laugh. Trevor always found a way to make our abnormal routines funny or cute. He always wanted to distract me from the fact that our lives were different.

After he’d finish drying my body, he’d whisk me away into the bedroom and how I felt usually dictated what we did next.

If I was tired, we’d take a nap. In pain, he’d give me one hell of a massage. The occasions I ended up horny? Trevor fixed that too.

And through Trevor’s learning, Jamie picked up on things too. When Trevor was on road trips and I was stuck with Jame, I learned I could lean on him. He was always one call away when I needed him. Even if it meant yelling across the house.

“Jamie!”

“I’m coming!” His thudding and rushed footsteps always endeared me.

“Hey!”

At times he’d find me on the floor.

“Hey, what happened?” He rushed to my side, helped me up slowly, and assured himself that I wasn’t injured.

“Guess I just can’t walk today…” I mumbled, embarrassed. The joint pain was always the worst to handle when I needed to be active.

“Alright.. what do you need to me to do?”

I found that Jamie was still on the ‘what do you needs?’ While Trevor already knew seconds in advance. And Trevor was far more confident with my illness than Jamie was.

He’d often text Trevor on my bad days to let him know. He’d also sit with me on the couch, never too touchy, not wanting to cross any lines. But when we’d sit at opposite ends -watching anything on the tv- occasionally, he’d pull my feet into his lap and gently rub them or my legs.

When Trevor would return from those long road trips, he’d always see me and tend to my needs and profess his love, before asking if I needed new pills, or if I needed him to stop by the store for anything. He’d been a domestic disaster before I got my diagnosis. Now, he was one of the most domestic guys I knew.

“This is it? Everything on this list?”

“All the groceries we need for the week. Yup.”

“Okay.. did you ask Jamie if he wanted anything?” I smiled and nodded. We were always taking care of Jamie.

“The store bought cookies are for him. And the purple Gatorade.”

“Okay. I’ll be back. Then I’m making dinner.”

Those words brought a huge smile to my face.

“Can’t wait, Trev.”

Sometimes I would go with him, but only on days when I felt on top of the world. Usually I tried to spend those days going out, but Trevor was always afraid I’d overdo it.

On those good days when he turned out to be right, he never told me so, or shook his head or laughed at me. He’d simply welcome me home with open arms and a sympathetic expression. Because he knew how much I missed my normality. How much I missed my old life.

And often times when I dwelled too much on that, he was always there.

“You’re beautiful. And I love you so much. And I’m happy with where we are right now. I’m happy to look after you, and love on you, and I’m happy you let me stand by you.”

His confessions were often spoken whispers in the darkness of our bedroom at night. Or on the rooftop. He hated when I went up there alone, but he still found me there from time to time.

He sat behind me, pulled me against his back between his legs, and wrapped his arms around me.

“We’re doing this together. I’ve been here from day one, and I’m not leaving now. I’m already in too deep.” He smiled. His breathy laugh would make me giggle.

“I’ve already seen too much.” He added with a playful touch of horror in his tone. I reached behind myself to slap his chest. I knew he was genuine. I knew he loved me. And I hoped he would never leave me. He always told me he was there until our last days on this earth. Until we both ceased to exist.

“I promise I’m sticking around. Me and Jambo. But mostly me.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[scorchingbread]

Grim x gn!reader who isn't keen on physical touch

(Gender of reader isn't mentioned)

Cw: sexual scenarios discussed, handjobs,dislike of physical touch being talked about in depth + it's worries. Please let me know if I missed anything :)

MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI I'M TIRED OF BLOCKING YOU

Spoiler: grims name, ending 3

(I totally didn't base this off of my own feelings whatsoever... Psh what?)

842 words

You were laying in bed facing the ceiling with Casper laying beside you. You just couldn't help but think about yesterday when you decided to go all of the way with him. It wasn't that you weren't attracted to him or didn't feel any desire, but you couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was... Uncomfortable. You never really liked being touched and you thought that maybe this time with someone you really loved that maybe it would be different, but it wasn't. The worst part is that you enjoyed him being happy and getting satisfied, and you don't want to take that away but you can't just set aside your own feelings for that.

"Sunshine, are you okay?" You snap out of your thoughts and turn to see Casper facing you with a worried look on his face.

"I just..." You sit up and pause for a second. Is it really okay to bring up? Would it hurt him? Would he take it the wrong way? Screw it. He's given up being a grim reaper and is in hiding just for you, so maybe... maybe he would actually understand since he knew you had built up the courage so far for physical affections. "I was thinking about last night, and I have some... Complications."

"What about last night?" He raises an eyebrow and still has a look of worry on his face. Casper sits up as well and turns to face you completely, having his full attention.

"Well.... The thing is... Oh how do I go about this." You trust him, but it's just so hard to put your feelings into words. "I didn't really enjoy it. The sex... It's not that I don't like your or am not attracted to you, I am, it's just... It was too overwhelming and uncomfortable. I liked seeing you satisfied, but I don't know if I could put myself through it again." You look at him worried about what his reaction might be to this information.

"Sunshine..." He brushes some of you hair out of your face. "I'm glad you told me. It's okay. You love me and am attracted to me, so that's all I can ask for. I wouldn't want you to do something you're uncomfortable with just for my own pleasure." You can't help but feel emotional. It just felt so nice to hear those words.

"T-thank you. That means a lot actually. I don't know what exactly I expected you to say, but it truly means a lot to me. Normally I have people push my boundaries or not believe that I could be uncomfortable from touch, but you've been very understanding." Casper frowns when he hears what happens to you when discussing boundaries with other people and he sighs.

"You shouldn't have to thank me for being understanding... I'm your boyfriend after all. A thousand curses on the people who treated you that way in the past." By the look on his face you can tell he is definitely trying to curse those people from your past. "So tell me... Just so everything is clear, what 𝘢𝘳𝘦 you comfortable with sunshine?"

"Well... I like your kisses and hugs, and I'm fine with touching you myself... I liked when you held onto me too, but full on sex? That was just too much for me to handle." You lay it all out for him, it's best that he knows how you feel especially since he actually cares to know. "But the problem is that I still want you to be able to have pleasure in our relationship. I don't want it to feel like I'm taking away something from you."

"Sunshine..." He pauses for a second. "Though you don't have to. If you are 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 worried about this I'm sure we could come up with something that would still be comfortable for you."

"Really?"

"Yes. You said you don't mind touching me yourself?"

"That's right... Oh maybe... Just maybe... That might work." Suddenly you had an idea. One that would fulfill both of you in this situation. "Say what if... What if we stuck to me giving you hand jobs. You could sit in front... And I could wrap my arms around you. Or o could even sit in front of you, if you wanted me to get a nice view?" Suddenly your mind is wondering to the possible scenarios. It's a simple solution and one that you wish you could have thought of sooner.

"That sounds..." You could see the blush creeping onto Casper's face and he brings up his hand to try and hide his embarrassment. "I like the sound of that. I'm glad we could... Figure this out so to say."

[itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread]

Guys I want to be crystal clear about something:

Venting is valid, but if your response to everyone is to always just be an asshole, then you’re going to lose people’s’ sense of sympathy.

Not wanting your disability or condition to be compared to another is one thing. But don’t start calling out specific disabilities that have nothing to do with yours, BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALLY DOING THE SAME THING YOU ARE UPSET ABOUT.

For instance. I have all of my limbs. I cannot possibly know what it feels like to lose my limbs. People missing limbs are allowed to complain about a missing limb. I am also allowed to complain about the intense pain I feel everyday, the number of surgeries I’ve had, and the fact that I sometimes black out just going to the bathroom.

I do not have seizures. I cannot know what it is like to have seizures. People with seizures are allowed to complain. Similarly, I am also allowed to complain about being overwhelmed by textures and sounds, forgetfulness, and how exhausting it is to keep track of my brain so I don’t fall into a pit of dispair all the time.

They are not the same. They are both valid experiences. How they’d come up as equated is generally beyond me. But I also know that sometimes people mean well and don’t know how else to show that their support. Empathy is not bad, it’s human. And it’s just a skill more than anything else.

Saying “wow that’s really intense” is an ok response. Saying “it’s absolutely not the same thing, but I experience xyz and I know what [insert common disability experience] is like” is an ok response too. It’s also ok to ask “do you want to vent, do you want sympathy, or do you want to problem solve?” It’s also ok to say to say “look I feel for you, but I don’t have the capacity to have this conversation right now.” All of these are valid.

Don’t fall into the trap of turning against each other. Our experiences are different and that’s why smaller communities exist to support each other. But if we battle over little things, we’re never going to make the systematic change we all need. That’s how they keep us divided.

And remember that if someone isn’t expressing sympathy the way you need, just tell them. Kindly. Because chances are that their heart is in the right place, and they may have their own reasons for not being a perfect supporter. You’re allowed to be angry when you’ve set boundaries so many times you’ve lost count. You’re allowed to have your trauma triggered by a similar situation.

But if you make them equal without even giving people a chance, then you’re no better than they are.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Many years ago I watched a documentary about interabled couples (meaning that one partner is disabled, the other one isn't).

They interviewed multiple couples and asked how they met, what their friends and family think of the relationship, things like that. I don't remember most of it (I can't even tell you if it was an actual movie-length documentary or just a short piece in the local news) but there was one story that always stuck with me:

An autistic man had a crush on a woman he regularly saw at his doctor's office. So he decided to write her a letter. He wrote down a detailed description (if I recall correctly it was multiple pages long) of how their relationship could look like: date ideas that would be safe and enjoyable for him, situations in which he may require her support or help, possible communication struggles they may face and ideas on how to deal with them etc. The next time he saw her at the doctor's office, he handed her the letter. She read it, smiled and said "This says you can't go dancing with me because loud music overwhelms you. But I really love dancing. Could we dance at home if you are in control of the music volume?". He said "Yes" and she said "Okay, then let's do that"... and they have been a happy couple ever since.

I love that story. Honestly, I wish someone would come up to me and hand me a letter like that!

There are so many unspoken rules in the dating world that (neurotypical) people oftentimes just expect you to know and understand - especially the whole "be mysterious, play hard to get, don't scare people off by being too honest" stuff can be really confusing! His letter feels like an antidote to that. He clearly communicated his individual set of "rules" (boundaries, needs, wants). It may be my autism speaking, but this sounds like the ideal way to start a relationship for me: they were both on the same page from the get-go rather than having to guess what the other one wants.

As someone who has been rejected for being too honest and talking about boundaries too early, it feels comforting to me to know that someone did exactly that and was so successful with it.

I mentioned this old story to a friend a few days ago - and they didn't think it was cute. In fact, they were shocked and disgusted by it. That sounds incredibly toxic, they said. You can't just hand your partner a set of rules at the beginning of the relationship and demand they stick to them forever. Those things need to be an ongoing conversation that both partners get to contribute to. Love isn't a business contract that one person writes and the other just signs off on. Treating it like one is a red flag. And quite frankly, they'd feel super creeped out if a quasi-stranger wrote multiple pages about a relationship they didn't even agree to yet!

And you know what? I absolutely believe that my friend is right - and I also believe that I am right. It could be cute and it could be a red flag.

This goes for all kinds of relationships but it's especially important for those of us who have unique or less common "rules"/needs (which could be because you are neurodivergent, disabled or chronically ill but also be lgbt+-related, e.g because you are ace or aro): Doing things differently is not by default toxic - and not by default wholesome, either.

That letter could be a great starting point for healthy ongoing communication in a relationship... and it could also be toxic if it is used as a binding contract that doesn't allow any further conversation.

Apart from a few obvious exceptions, we can't really make a definite list of things that are always good or always toxic when it comes to dating/relationships - we need to think of things in context. And that goes for the "standard route" as well as for more unique approaches.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

(P.S: For the record, I'm sure that the couple in the documentary does have ongoing, healthy communication!)

[silverzoomies]

Ooh you should do like headcannons of what it’s like sleeping next to Peter or having kids with Peter

ohhhh my gosh this is so intimidating, but i'll try my best !!

💙peter maximoff headcanons💙

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.｡ﾟ🗲..｡ 　ﾟ..🗲｡ﾟ.｡ﾟ🗲..｡ ..🗲｡ﾟ.｡ﾟ🗲..｡ 　ﾟ..🗲｡ﾟ.｡ﾟ🗲..｡ 　ﾟ..🗲｡ﾟ.｡ﾟ🗲..｡

💙sleeping next to peter💙

listen, anon...

i personally don't imagine he sleeps

like, at all. ever

but if he did? he's either one of two sleeper types

he might crash like a log. and you won't be able to move him once he's conked out. like good luck tryin' to roll him off you

if you gotta get up? sucks to suck. you're stuck there for a while

but he could also be the type to toss and turn in his sleep

like, all night. super restless. kicking his legs and everything

might even talk a lot in his sleep, rambling incoherent babble

you'd wake up to him saying shit like, "ohhhh shit. forgot i left the cats in the car."

but he doesn't drive. he doesn't even have cats. what's he dreamin' about??? does he dream as fast as he moves????

he might also switch gears a lot. going from super clingy, to super distant really quick

one moment, he's got his cheek pressed to yours, snuggling super close. needing to be near you so bad, otherwise he'll literally die

the next, he wants his space. stretches himself out on the other side of the bed. and if you come too close, he lowkey groans about it. but like affectionately

he's like a picky cat hopped up on too much adrenaline

i don't think he'd be too overly affectionate, though. if anyone wrapped him up in a cuddle session for too long, he might get pretty antsy. just in case he's gotta move

don't even get me started on the potential for morning wood

💙having kids with peter💙

would strive to be the best damn dad ever, and you can't convince me otherwise

since he grew up without a dad himself. he wouldn't want his children to grow up feelin' the way he did

he'd try to be super present in their lives, and very involved. even if things got a little too overwhelming sometimes

he'd wanna be nothing but supportive and loving of all their hobbies and endeavors

peter knows when to set boundaries, but he'd have a tendency to be a little too lenient

once his kid got a little older, he'd be so tempted to drag them into some harmless trouble. to your dismay

like, they'd start pulling pranks on you together. but the pranks are as simple as pelting you with water balloons when you're least expecting it

or, oh no! he ran them to mcdonald's for somethin' to snack on. without you! and right after you said you were gonna make dinner that night too! they'll ruin their appetites like that!

"okay, but they really wanted nuggets. wouldn't stop askin' about it. they even said please! what was i supposed to do? say no!? look at this face!!" and he gestures to your kid's precious doll face

if his kid is born with mutant genes, he'd be so goddamn proud

and a little worried too. he'd be terrified of how his kid would be treated in school, especially for bein' different

that is...unless you enrolled your kid at charles's school. most ideal scenario honestly. peter would feel way more content then

his kid definitely wants to become a great, x-men hero like their papa someday

he introduces his kiddo to his favorite music wayyyy early on. like, your newborn is resting in their crib. and he's playin' pink floyd like it's a lullaby

"honey, we really gotta make sure this lil rascal's educated, don't we?" but he's talking about exposing them to david bowie

but if his kid grew up listening to all the genres he doesn't, he'd still be as supportive as he could

his kid likes lil nas or lady gaga or somethin'? he's takin' the whole family to a live show. he's wearing the merch. he's learning the songs. he's singin' those songs in the crowd

i do think he'd get pretty anxious, though. might worry he's not a good enough father. maybe thinks he's not cut out for it. you have to reassure him all the time: he's doing the best he can. better than you could ever hope for

he's busy with hero work and teaching a lot of the time. when he starts to get a lil too absent, he's terrified he's neglecting his kid in some way

but he's got no idea his kiddo thinks the entire world of him. literally the coolest dad ever in the history of the universe. his kid will go to school and be like "yeah well my dad's quicksilver"

he's the kinda dad who's gonna splurge on christmas gifts. so many, you won't be able to see the floor. you're worried he stole them all. but he swears on his life he paid for everything. he's gotta set a good example, after all !!

impossible challenge: try not to feel soft after thinkin' about him sitting in his kiddo's bed. readin' a bedtime story. doin' silly voices and pointing at all the pictures

the bedtime stories are x-men comics

[sxcret-garden-archive]

Yeonjun ✧ Loved [M]

✧ TXT Yeonjun x fem!reader ✧ words: ~2.7k ✧ genre: fwb to lovers (but not quite), angst, smut (dom!Yeonjun, oral (fem receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, he calls the reader princess, multiple orgasms), reader is (obviously) of age but still lives at home ✧ warnings: mentions of a difficult family situation, implication that reader got or gets bullied

Desc.: You and Yeonjun are more than friends, but less than lovers. When he, once again, pulls you out of a bad situation and state of mind, you find yourself thinking about that, and eventually you end up doing what you two always do…

"I can't see you like this anymore." Yeonjun angrily mumbles the words next to you, it's almost a growl. You look up from your phone and he looks up from his as you're sitting side by side on the couch, your parents arguing in the background. He must've noticed how you stopped scrolling at one point, and started spacing out as they began to yell once again.

"Let's get out of here," he says. You know that the glare in his eyes isn't meant for you, still you can't help but feel a bit intimidated when he shoots you a look. And guilty. You feel oh so guilty, because they're arguing over you again, and you've brought Yeonjun to your house again, so he would have to listen to them again and get mad again. 

However, as he grabs your hand with his, his warm palm meeting yours that's freezing, he doesn't leave you much time to let yourself drown in the overwhelming guilt. Giving you a gentle squeeze, as opposed to the still angry look on his face, he gets up and pulls you onto your feet along with him. 

"Where are we going?" you whisper a question, as if the answer wasn't clear.

"My place," he states. "Where you don't have to listen to that."

You quickly put on shoes and he makes you grab a jacket too - anything else you might need in case you spend the night with him should be at his place anyway - and then you head out into a cool spring night. 

You don't feel cold as you walk the few blocks to his place hand in hand, the gentle breeze of the night feels refreshing, actually. Your gaze takes in the houses of the neighbourhood as you pass them by, and eventually Yeonjun's face comes into view. He seems to have calmed down a bit, and you're glad for that.

Yeonjun is your friend, but not only. You're not lovers either, you know that, because you've set that boundary for each other when this whole thing started, and friendship turned into more than that. Some would say you're simply fuckbuddies, but there's more to it, because you're friends too. You care about each other, there's no doubt about that, and sometimes he makes your heart race and you make him blush - but that's only normal when you've seen someone naked and had pretty good sex with them, right?

You don't usually think too much about, really, anything when you're with him. But sometimes you catch yourself wondering whether it all means a bit more than you two are admitting - especially during moments like these, where he pulls you out of your broken home, or keeps you safe from people who don't wish any good upon you.

When you arrive at his place, there's no lights on. His flatmate seems to be out, as always. You're kind of glad for that, but lately it makes you a bit nervous to be alone with him, but only so much that you don't notice unless there's complete silence and nothing else demands your attention. 

As soon as Yeonjun closes the door behind you two, switches on the lights and turns on his heels to look at you, hands both placed on the outsides of your upper arms, the feeling fades, washed away by the way he looks at you. There is worry in his eyes, and beneath that worry, you can faintly make out the mischievous spark he always carries in his expression when he's with you. 

You can't say you don't feel loved when he looks at you like that. But you don't permit yourself to think about it. Instead, you let him pick you up, carrying you bridal style to his room after both slipping off your shoes, and he sits you down on his bed. He shoots you a questioning look, almost as if his confidence had left him for a second or two, and you reply with an unfaltering gaze, to let him know he's doing just fine. Because you know what's going to come next. 

Yeonjun leans in, pressing his puffy lips against yours. He kisses you softly, velvety touches making you feel safe and at home - almost like your home isn't the place where you grew up, but instead it's wherever he is. He firmly cups your face in his hands to bring you in closer while he deepens the kiss, tongue running along your teeth before allowing himself to meet yours. When he breaks away from you, he's breathless - even more so than you - and for a second he gets lost in your expression, pleading for more. You'd have taken anything to forget, to not think about how miserable you really feel, still his touch remains to be the most efficient drug you could get.

He peels off your jacket, putting it aside carefully, and when he returns to you, he lets his knuckles caress your cheek, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You sink your teeth into it once he takes his hand away, capturing your chin instead, and you close your eyes to savour the feeling of his touch. He feels warm, even when the way he touches you is slightly rough and filled with need.

"I wish I could make it all better," he mumbles as he leans in again, burying his face in your neck. With his lips moving against your skin, he adds, "So you never have to feel like this again." You don't answer. Instead, you throw your arms around his shoulders, and moments later, Yeonjun drops down onto his knees. His hands travel down your body, until they're resting on your thighs, and when he looks up at you, he licks his lips. "I'll make you feel better."

His hands don't stay still for long. He quickly helps you out of your pants, just like he's done countless times before, and soon after he starts kissing a trail up your inner thigh. You're not sure if this is the way friends are supposed to comfort each other, but somehow you two just always end up doing what you do best - you fuck. And so, you impatiently await the moment his plump lips arrive at your core, holding your breath as he works his way to where you want him the most, and then releasing the air from your lungs when he kisses you through the fabric of your underwear. The panties are quickly pulled off as well, and what remains is both your impatience as he pushes your legs apart further, letting out a shaky breath full of excitement in the face of your dripping cunt. 

"Just do it already..." you mutter, earning another short lived glance from Yeonjun, before he grants your wish. You groan when he begins to lap at your pussy, tongue licking up a stripe between your folds. He hums at your taste as he alternates between letting his wet muscle draw slow circles on your clit and wrapping his lips around it to gently suck on it. And already, you're starting to see stars from his ministrations on you.

"God, Yeonjun..." you moan softly. "Nobody could make me feel better..."

"Just you wait how much better I can make you feel..." he answers, eyes darkened with lust, and then he lets his tongue dip inside you before bringing it back up to your clit. 

"Mmmh... show me then..." you whimper, and when you hear him chuckle, sending vibrations through your core, a shiver runs down your spine.

"So greedy..." he retorts, in between licking and nipping. "Always liked that about you..." He resumes his teasing and your hand eventually finds his hair in order to tug at it, wanting to urge him on. He lets you hear another appreciative hum, until finally he grins at you, removing one hand from your thigh to start teasing your entrance with his fingertips. "How many you want?" he asks. "Two? Three?"

"Th-three..." you say, and the greed flaring up in his eyes as he looks up at you makes heat rush through your whole body.

"Can you take it?"

"Yes..." you assure eagerly. "Feels closer to your cock than two..." The grin on his lips broadens as he dips a single digit inside, only to remove it again soon after, leaving you to groan in disappointment.

"You want my cock, huh?" he repeats, sliding a finger inside again for but a moment. "Let me hear more about that..."

"W-want your big cock in me..." you begin to talk immediately, gasping as he pushes inside you again, this time with two fingers. "Want your cock to destroy my pussy... fuck me real good... make you feel how tight and wet I am..." you whine, as Yeonjun sucks on your clit while humming in satisfaction. He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, picking up the pace whenever you speak and slowing back down when you're silent.

"N-need you... inside me... fuck, Yeonjun... I need your big c-cock in me so bad..." A moan escapes you suddenly when he adds a third finger, thumb temporarily taking over rubbing circles on your clit so he could answer, while you throw your head back from the pleasure overcoming you.

"Three fingers, just like you wanted," he says, curling them inside you repeatedly, making you buck your hips into his touch. "Now I just need to know one thing..."

"W-what...?" you whine, struggling to remain in control of your voice as you feel your high approaching.

"Does it feel as good as my cock?"

"N-no!" you cry out. "N-nothing could feel as good... as..." 

He pulls out suddenly, and you need a second to register what just happened. Just when you're about to look at him in discontent, he shakes his head, putting his index finger that's coated in your juices over your lips.

"Don't talk, princess," he shushes you. "Take off your shirt... and your bra too. I want you naked." You do as told without thinking, tossing aside the remainder of clothes on your body in no time, and as you sprawl out for him on his bed, you don't miss the way he looks at you, like he's about to devour you whole.

"Fuck, you're so hot..." he mumbles as he quickly slips out of his shirt and unzips his jeans to take those off too, along with his boxershorts. "I can't wait to take you..." He crawls on top of you, burying his face in your neck, and instead of giving you what you wanted right then and there, his hand finds its way back in between your legs. He slips inside with ease, fingers pumping in and out of you, grazing that sweet spot inside you with each stroke, as his thumb applies pressure to your bundle of nerves. His mouth leaves a trail of hot nips and kisses from your throat to your chest, and his lips wrap around your nipple. He moans as he lets his tongue circle around it, releasing it with a pop to blow cool air onto it, and as he captures it with his teeth to suck on it. You become a whining mess underneath him, arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly and nails sunk into his skin as he keeps fingering you at a steady pace and you buck your hips to meet each one of his movements. 

"Y-yeonjun... Yeonjun, I'm gonna cum..." you whine, and this time he lets you. Your high crashes down on you as your walls clench around his fingers inside, and after pulling out, he waits for you to come down from your high. Then he sits up, kneeling above you now, and he brings his hand to his length, spreading your juices along his shaft as he starts stroking himself. His gaze glued to your body, he groans as he grows fully hard.

"I love it when you call my name while you're cumming," he mumbles, never taking his eyes off your frame. "And I love the expression on your face... fuck, Y/N, I want to hear it again... I want to hear you calling out to me with my cock inside you, making you feel so full... making your little pussy feel so full and good..."

"P-please..." you beg. "Please fill me up..." You look up at him pleadingly, seeing his fully grown cock in his hand and swallowing hard at the thought of finally having it inside you. "Need you..." you add at the sight, and he chuckles.

"So needy for my cock... my little princess." Finally, he lets go of himself and falls forward to hover above you. His lips meet yours in a teasingly light kiss, before he looks deeply into your eyes. "Are you ready for me?" You nod strongly.

"Want you..." you say bashfully, blood rushing to your head. He aligns himself with you, and then, without another warning sign, he pushes into you. You cry out, throwing your head back and digging your nails into the bedsheets at your sides. He slips inside you so easily, and when he begins to roll his hips slowly, all you can do is moan his name in between curses.

"Fuck... shit, Yeonjun! F-feels so good... Y-yeonjun..." 

"Let me hear you, princess... let me hear more," he answers, picking up the pace. His thrusts are powerful, reaching deep inside you, and you can tell he's been growing impatient too. He makes your head spin, as his name keeps falling from your lips, and you can see your next orgasm approaching.

"Fuck, you feel so good... makes me wanna cum inside you," he growls through gritted teeth, and all you can do is moan in appreciation, the thought alone sending you into a state of ecstasy. 

"W-wanna cum on your cock... g-gonna cum again..." you whimper, struggling to form the words as all you can focus on is how good he makes you feel. And then finally, your high hits you, and you cry out in pleasure as you feel yourself contract around his length.

"Such a good girl..." he praises you as he picks up the pace ever so slightly, until he too finds his release, spilling his load inside you.

He rolls off you, lying down beside you as you both catch your breaths, which eventually goes over to the two of you staring at the ceiling in comfortable silence. Scenes of your parents arguing flash by before your inner eye again, but with your mind still clouded with bliss from your orgasms, it doesn't really reach you at the moment. You look to the side, placing your hand on top of your friend's chest and lightly tapping his skin with your fingertips to make him reciprocate your gaze.

"Can I stay the night?" you ask, suddenly feeling very comfortable with the butterflies swaying in your stomach, yet still trying not to pay the sensation any heed.

"Sure," Yeonjun responds, rolling onto his side to get a better look at you. He cups your face while wearing a serious expression. "I'm going to keep you here for all eternity if that's what it takes for you to be safe." You can't help but smile at his selflessness, as the kindness behind his words makes you feel warm inside.

"I won't stay forever, you know that," you say, sitting up. "Just until tomorrow." He puts his hand over yours just as you're about to get up, and the dissatisfaction is apparent on his face. You know he wants to say something to convince you to just come live with him instead, but at the same time he knows he couldn't possibly convince you to freelance here, living off of his limited income together. So he merely groans, and he only lets go of your hand reluctantly as you get on your feet to take a shower. You collect your clothes on the way out, and when you hear Yeonjun letting his body fall back into the mattress with a thump, you throw him another look over your shoulder.

"Don't take too long," he mutters into your general direction. "So we can watch a movie or something... or cuddle if that helps you feel better." You nod, grinning at his words, before disappearing out of his sight. 

You really do feel loved.

taglist: @chewryy @sanwooyo @kpopcrossworlds @itbtoblikethatsometimes @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @browniestraykidshiteu @demitrigrace @leoncito1503 (can't be tagged) [click here to be added]

buy me a coffee ♡

[forever-rogue]

making a wish for soft comfort smut with pining bestfriend! Eddie after you guys have a fight bc he thinks you don’t notice all the ways he tries to make things extra special for you and it’s going over your head bc your love language is physical touch (you think if he likes you, he’d make an obvious move but meanwhile he’s afraid to do anything physical that might cross a boundary, making *you* think he’s physically repulsed or something).

AN | Okay, how about some fight and kiss and make up? 🥰 (sidenote - my brain didn’t read smut so there’s none here 🥺 sorry bbs!)

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey babes,” you let yourself into Steve’s house, a huge grin on your face and a box of cupcakes in your free hand, attempting a small wave. Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie were sitting in the living room, surrounded by snacks as they watched some random movie. It was Robin’s week to pick so naturally it was some quirky, offbeat film you’d never heard of.

“About time,” Steve teased as you kicked your shoes off and bounded over. You could feel the familiar set of brown eyes watching your every move intently, waiting to say something. You swallowed thickly and pointedly didn’t look in his direction, “only half an hour late!”

“I come bearing gifts,” you sang as you set the box of baked treats down on the table, “in the form of sweets - everyone’s favorite flavors. That’s right - you don’t need to tell me I’m the best, I already know how much you all love me!”

“I forgive you,” Robin tore into the box as you took your customary spot between her and Eddie. You finally allowed yourself to look at your best friend, giving him a soft smile. His expression softened before he offered you a dopey little half smile in return, “what took you so long?”

“Well,” you looked between your group of friends, your heart fluttering when you felt Eddie angle his body towards yours. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body; his delicious smell of cologne, detergent and cigarettes working to overwhelm your senses. Part of you wished he wasn’t there; you weren’t sure what his reaction to your news would be, but - no. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because as far as you knew Eddie Munson only saw you as a friend. This was just another step in your attempts to get over him and accept that you’d never have anything other than friendship with you, “I was at the bakery, as one does before movie night, and I ran into Michael Taylor. Andddd…we got to talking and he asked me out!”

“Ohh,” Nancy grinned as she leaned over and high-fived you, “he’s cute. And really nice too if I remember correctly.” 

Steve and Robin exchanged a nervous little glance before peeking at Eddie. Meanwhile the man in question was staring at you so intently it was amazing that you didn’t catch fire. Steve tried to clear things up and prevent any further awkwardness, “but did you say yes? Surely you didn’t?”

“Yeah,” oh no. You noticed the silent communication between Robin and Steve and then Eddie’s complete silence hit you. Your face warmed up as you waved a hand awkwardly, “I…I ugh….I figured there was no reason not to, you know? It’s been a long time since anyone’s asked me out and he seems nice enough so I said yes. I-it’s just dinner and a-a movie.”

“Are you serious?” he finally spoke up and fuck. His voice was strained and you couldn’t help but turn to him. His brows were furrowed, lips drawn into a deep frown, with an unreadable expression on his handsome face as he shook his head, “Michael Taylor? Really? Are you fucking for real?”

“Eddie-”

“You’re really going out with him?” his voice cracked and he could feel tears prickling at the back of his eyes. He swore he could feel his heart actually break at the realization that you were going out with another man, “why? Absolutely not.”

“What do you mean why?” it suddenly felt like it was only the two of you in the room, “there’s no reason not to! You can’t just…you can’t just act like that. You can’t tell me who I can’t and can go out with, Eddie! You…why are you being like this? I haven’t done anything to deserve you acting like this. You’re my friend, you’re supposed to…I don’t know, support me?”

“You don’t get it do you?” he blinked rapidly, trying to keep his tears at bay as you looked at him with those big, innocent doe eyes. He scrubbed a hand over his face, “you don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get? Enlighten me.”

“I…everything I do, I do for you,” the words he’d wanted to say for so long were suddenly out there, lying between the two of you. Your lips trembled with effort as you tried not to cry, “you are everything to me! But you just don’t get it, do you? I have done everything I could think of but it’s just…you know what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t fucking matter. Obviously.”

“Eddie, wait,” he’d jumped up and stormed past Robin, Steve, and a bewildered Nancy as he headed for the door. You jumped up and tried to go after him, but you weren’t able to get to him in time. He was already out the door, slamming it shut behind him as he almost ran to his van. You’d stopped, hand on the doorknob as you listened to him start his van before peeling off. 

A tear ran down your cheek as you let out a small sigh. When you turned around, you caught everyone staring at you with various degrees of worry on their faces. You threw your hands up in exasperation, silent as you tried to process what had just happened. He’d just seriously freaked out and for what? 

“Did you…did you really not know?” Robin’s voice was tender as she held out her arm and wrapped into her side. You couldn’t help the small sob that escaped you as you burrowed into her warmth, “you didn’t know he’s in love with you?”

“Rob,” Steve raised an eyebrow as he gently shook his head. He wasn’t sure if this was the time or place to have this discussion. He just knew that two of his closest friends were hurting and that broke his own heart, empath that he was. 

“What on earth do you mean?” you looked at her with teary eyes and she pressed a kiss to the side of your head before hugging you tighter, “Eddie’s…”

“In love with you. Yeah,” she nodded with a small smile gracing her pretty features, “it’s kind of…obvious. I guess to everyone else. We thought you knew.”

“I don’t…” your mind was reeling as you thought about him. Eddie Munson, your sweet, kind, loving, amazing best friend. But he was just…oh. Oh. That’s when it hit you; Eddie had never just been your best friend. He’s always been so much more, “I never realized. I’m a fuckin’ fool. How could I…not. I don’t…fuck.”

“Sometimes you’re really smart and other times you’re so dumb,” Steve was smiling at you lightly, but he quickly ducked as you threw a pillow at him.

“Sounds like someone else we know,” you stuck your tongue out at him. After allowing yourself a moment to breathe you looked at your friends, “do you guys really think so? Like positively?”

“We know,” Robin promised, “babe, he’s practically told us. And it’s so obvious isn’t it? Who else would react like that if not a man in love thinking his heart is getting broken?”

“I gotta go,” you jumped up and almost kneed Robin in the face in your rush, “I-I have to talk to him or something. I can’t just leave it like this. I’d never forgive myself.”

“Go get your man!” Nancy cheered as Robin and Steve exchanged a high-five. You were about to make a huge fool out of yourself, or you were going to make the best decision of your life.

But for Eddie Munson, it was all worth it. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

By the time you figured out what and how you were going to say what you needed to say, it was late into the evening. But you knew that Eddie would be up and you couldn’t not go. It was now or never and after all this time of back and forth, cat and mouse, it was time to put it all out there. You’d always kept your heart guarded but you were willing to put it on the line and give it to Eddie to break. You just hoped he wouldn’t. 

The nervous energy that seemed to follow you was palpable as you bounced up the stairs to the porch of the trailer, knocking on the door loudly. You’d made sure Wayne was gone before you made a huge ruckus, but saw Eddie’s trusty old van, which you hoped was a good sign. But after a few minutes of knocking and anxiously waiting, the door never opened but you were positive you could hear some noise coming from inside but the door went unanswered. 

After knocking again, you were still left out in the dark and grew worried and annoyed. You knew that there was no way he didn’t hear you. Grabbing your keychain, you quickly found the key to his trailer and unlocked the door without hesitating. 

You walked inside and heard music coming from his bedroom - loud, but not loud enough for him not to hear you. You were about to pad the way to his room, but when you stepped inside, you heard a small yelp of surprise. You found yourself staring at Eddie, who had a bewildered expression on his tired face, “what? How? Why? How did you get in?”

“I had my key. Look, Eddie, we need to talk-”

“We?”

“Fine,” you inhaled deeply before staring at your feet, trying to gather up the courage to pour out all of the feelings you had for this silly, crazy man, “I…shit. This was easier in my mind. Like I had this all planned out and my mind’s just gone blank. Eddie Munson, you are my best friend-”

“I’m aware,” he crossed his arms over his chest, a hurt look on his features, “you made that very clear. I’m just your best friend.”

“Fuck - no,” you allowed yourself to look into his soft brown eyes, “you’re everything to me. You always have been and always will be. I just…I never thought you’d like me that. I thought I was in love with you and you never noticed.”

“How could you ever think that?” he let out a small huff, “I’ve tried to make it so obvious, you know? I thought you knew. It seems like everyone knows.”

“No,” you shook your head, blinking back tears with a meek smile, “I just…I feel like you’re so affectionate with other people and you almost never touch me. I like being touched and I dunno, I guess that’s just how I express affection? And you’re not like that with me. So I just figured like you didn’t want me or thought I was…repulsive or something. I dunno, it sounds so fucking stupid out loud.”

“I just - I never wanted to cross any boundaries,” he confessed, his shoulder up in a shy way as he tried to shrug it off.

“But that’s how you are with the others…” 

“Yeah,” he nodded before swallowing the lump in his throat, “but I’m not in love with them, am I?”

“I mean the way you and Steve are sometimes, one wonders,” you teased and a small smile and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, I’m not in love with him, and honestly with you….I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself once I touched you,” his face turned red as your face flushed with warmth at his little confession, “do you have any clue how hard it was to stop myself from doing anything but an occasional hug? Even then, I just wanted to…touch you. Every part of you.”

“Oh,” your mouth formed into a small pout as you tried to process what he had said. His face fell and his heart raged in his chest when he saw your expressions.

“Oh?” he grimaced as you looked at him with an intense stare, “t-that doesn’t sound good. I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross any lines or make you uncomfortable.”

“You want to touch me?” your voice was small, so small, but the innocent quality your eyes took on was enough to make him relax.

“Yes, fuck yes angel,” he admitted, “I’ve wanted to for so long. All those times you’ve brushed against me or during movie nights, it would take everything in me not to just grab you and…touch you.”

“So you don’t think I’m horrid?”

“Fuck no,” he grinned that toothy, dimpled, magical smile that made you weak, “the opposite. You’re divine and ethereal.”

“I feel so stupid,” you hung your head, cursing yourself for all time you could have already had him, “all this time. I never thought it’d be me.”

“It’s never been anyone but you,” he confirmed and butterflies exploded in your tummy, “and it never will be. Besides, do you really think I’d give my best and most prized shirts to just anyone? Or my lucky guitar pick?”

“No,” your hand instinctively went to your necklace as you touched the delicate chain holding the pick in question. You’d never taken it off since he’d given it to you, “you wouldn’t. Eddie.”

“Don’t go out with Michael,” his eyes searched yours, brilliant warm brown and gentle, “please. It’ll break my fuckin’ heart, baby.”

“I won’t,” tears, a mixture of excitement, nerves and nothing but love for him pearled up and ran down your cheeks as you laughed lightly. Eddie held up a tentative, shaky hand, waiting for a moment before he reached over and wiped away the tears, “I won’t.”

“Will you go out with me?” He sounded so hopeful and so anxious at the same time. As if you would ever say no to him. This was everything you had wanted since you’d met, “like on a real date? I-I wanna take you out. If you want to, that is. I want to do this right.”

“Yes,” you breathed happily, “that’s all I’ve ever wanted, Eddie Munson.”

“Really?” oh. You were soft for this man and so in love. So much, in fact, that it physically made your heart ache sometimes. 

“Fuck yes,” you echoed his words from earlier.

“Can I kiss you?” fucking finally. You both were giggly, chaotic bundles of nerves; all you could do was nod at him before you both stepped towards each other. He put his large, warm hands on your arms, dragging them lazily up until he was tenderly holding your face in his hands, “you’re so fuckin’ pretty.”

“So are you,” you grinned and he crashed his lips onto yours, kissing you like he had always wanted to. He practically melted as soon as his lips brushed yours; this was everything and more than he had ever dreamed over imagined. His brain and his whole body were reeling into sensory overload as he kissed you until he couldn’t breathe, “Eddie that was…wow.”

“You’re so soft,” he whispered as he pressed chaste kisses to your cheeks, forehead and nose, “how are you so perfect? You can’t be real.”

“Shut up,” you pressed your forehead against his, and he could feel you smiling against his lips, “and please kiss me more.”

“Oh, I plan on it,” he promised, “I’ll kiss you forever, angel.”

[hrodvitnon]

Well, the Isa fic got sad, I got 100% achievements on Xbox, the Steam and Switch versions are tempting me like crazy... time for some Copium. Who wants a new fic preview!? This one's set after First and Only, so it's going to get spicy~

---

They're testing boundaries together, and no matter how addled their brains get with such honeymoon behavior they still summon the cognizance to ask each other, "Is this okay?" or enforce rules like, "Tell me to stop if you're uncomfortable."

And Ariane is never uncomfortable with Elster, but every now and then she needs to tap out because it veers dangerously close to overwhelming when she's pinned to a wall, their lips locked and tongues tentatively learning to dance, Elster's powerful body pressing into hers...

And that's before teeth get involved.  Ariane fucking loves it when her neck is marked by Elster's lips and tongue and teeth.  Every bite elicits an exhale that carries hints of a moan, and Ariane eggs her on in any way she can – clawing her fingers up and down Elster's strong back, grabbing her hair, even sliding her leg up an outer thigh. 

Elster's shell is hot under her fingers, and if Ariane were in her right mind she would find that unusual because the Replika's body temperature varies between cool and warm depending on how much work's been done, but she's never felt hot to the touch until now.  Ariane's clothes stick to her body and a thin sheen of sweat forms on her exposed skin; Elster's making noises, little huffs and grunts, flexing her body as if trying to shrug something off, and that just makes her abdomen rub against Ariane in a way that makes her mewl.

"Elster..."

"Ariane... wait a minute," she husks with a roughness that nearly causes the Gestalt's knees to buckle.

Ariane's about to ask if she's alright when Elster pulls away enough for them to properly see one another, and the words die in her mouth with a whimper.  The hallway's dim lighting makes those eyes do that thing where the red pupils shine like the eyes of a dangerous creature, and not helping matters at all is the puffs of actual steam emanating from her mouth with each labored breath.  The musculature under that armor plating is tensed, bulging with effort.

It's the hottest thing Ariane has ever seen.

Elster pushes herself away and blows steam off to the side as if she'd taken a drag from a cigarette.  The unexpected arousal slips to the side of Ariane's mind and concern takes over.

"That's never happened before," she points out.

"No."

"Are you okay?  Did I touch something I'm not supposed to?  We can set up like a 'no touch zone' if you want!"

"No, no, I just... I need to cool down. Overheating."

"I didn't know Replikas could overheat."

"We can, same as Gestalts.  We need an internal temperature to function.  Think of it like, warming up an engine on a cold day so it doesn't stall.  I might need a cycle in the calibration pod just to be safe."

Ariane nods along.  "That makes sense.  But what caused it?  As far as I know, ship maintenance isn't exactly strenuous..."

Elster looks like she has an idea but doesn't feel her hypothesis is appropriate to say out loud, which is only giving Ariane ideas.  Instead she opts for rolling and flexing her body like before, maybe trying to discern some unknown itch, but it's terribly distracting for Ariane, whose legs turn to jelly and ends up sliding down the wall at the sight of those abdominal muscles at work.

Elster chuffs.  "Wow.  Are you okay?"

"You," Ariane points at her accusingly, "are too hot for your own good."

"I am steaming right now."

"Shut the fuck—!" Ariane laughs, long and loopy.  "Elster Five-One-Two, you absolute dork – I swear to multiple religions censored by the State, and I don't care if it's treason or heresy or whatever, but holy risen mother of god does the mere sight of you do things to me."

Elster ducks her head with a crooked smile.  "I hope those things are good."

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer Interview with EW (2023)

Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey do some pretty unspeakable things to each other on camera for Fellow Travelers, whether it's the Bridgerton and Wicked star sucking on Bomer's toes in the premiere episode or the White Collar and Magic Mike stud channeling his inner dom daddy throughout. It's the kind of sexual escapades that force you to clutch your pearls and then realize, "I wasn't even wearing pearls. How did these get around my neck?!"

Maybe it's because we don't often see this kind of raw, unfiltered depiction of gay sexuality put on display for television, even on a premium network like Showtime. "I had never read anything like that before in a screenplay," Bomer tells EW.

"It's provocative and it's all the things that will draw an audience in, or at least get people talking," Bailey remarks in a separate interview. "But then, why is it there? Well, it makes sense." To Bailey's point, there's a lot of story packed into the intimate moments of Fellow Travelers. It's like tricking someone to eat their vegetables: the two nearly naked handsome Hollywood actors in their prime is the alluring melted cheese, but that desperation you feel emanating off two societally suppressed gay characters is the broccoli underneath.

"Anything that feels voyeuristic or chemical to the audience whilst watching it is right, because that is just how overwhelming it is when you do finally come together in a world that deems your love and intimacy foul or incorrect," Bailey explains. "So it becomes a multidimensional experience for the performers, but also for the people watching at home. I just think there's no doubt with this that the art of the sex scene is so profound."

Bomer and Bailey star in Fellow Travelers as Hawk and Tim, who first meet and start an intoxicating affair in 1950s Washington, D.C., a time and place when Senator McCarthy (Chris Bauer) has launched the "Lavender Scare" purge of homosexuals from government positions. The series continues to track Hawk and Tim's relationship across decades, often bouncing between the past and the drama's 1980s present, when Bailey's Tim is stricken with AIDS.

The seventh episode, "White Nights," premiering on Paramount+ Friday and on Showtime this Sunday, sees these on-again, off-again lovers in the '70s on Fire Island. Bailey's mustache says it all. The sex reflects this next setting, which was (and still is) a rare safe haven for these men to express themselves openly.

The actors knew how much emotional and physical intimacy would be required of them for Fellow Travelers from the jump. "It was all on the page," Bailey recalls. "I read the script before I spoke with [showrunner] Ron Nyswaner, so I knew exactly what they were trying to do." The pair recall meeting with each other in Toronto, where the show primarily filmed, at Goldstruck Coffee on Cumberland Street. "It writes itself," Bailey jokes of the shop's playful name. "We were like, we need to see how each other are doing. We got to know each other in a way that was vicariously through the characters. That first conversation, we were totally committed to having each other's backs."

The sex scenes weren't something they overly discussed with each other, beyond "certain intricacies" they had to work out, Bomer says. "Obviously, we were very respectful of each other's boundaries. You did the work on the character, you showed up on set, you knew what your job was, and then you just hopefully try to let it fly when they call action."

"When you're going on set and it's 3 in the morning and you've done 16 hours worth of filming and you are about to only start the intimacy scenes, you do have to summon the angels and listen to Enya and draw from the ground to muster up the courage," Bailey says, playfully. "But that feeling of having to build your confidence and to put your armor on to do that is exactly right, because that's what the characters are feeling."

For Bomer, when it came to the onscreen sex, he enjoyed what he calls Hawk's "zero f---s given" vibe. "Hawk does have a public persona that he needs to survive and maneuver in the world that he's in, but underneath it all is a real 'f--- you,'" he says. "That for me was so refreshing to get to play, but it was also really refreshing to see — not that every intimate gay relationship is like that, but to see an aspect of gay sex brought to life in such an authentic and unflinching way."

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[pearlprincess02]

selena gomez and justin’s composite chart houses

7th house: in the composite chart, the composite 7th house governs how you are as a couple, how much you’re focused on the relationship, how you move together as one, and the other people that you interact with together.

aries 7th house : with the composite 7th house in aries, you may be a pairing that interacts with others with a lot of energy, and the people in your life may have a lot of energy and drive with the two of you. it may be difficult for you to see together when you’re being impulsive and argumentative, but you may see that in others. you may be extra focused on commitment together, but you may also fight a lot more with one another.

7th house ruler in 7th house: circumstance: meeting them in a social setting. likely to meet through a mutual friend. meeting them at networking event. meeting at a time in your life where you are more social and making new connections. meeting them through a professional setting. anything to do with contracts, business, the marketplace. person: someone is balanced, diplomatic and discerning. they can be similar to you and mirror you in many ways. a social person who has many connections. a “socialite” type of person. they can be “libra-like” in nature. union: a union centered around creating balance. learning to create harmony together. can feel like a business partnership. negotiating and setting boundaries. someone who feels like the missing piece to your puzzle. a dynamic where you are in sync.

mars in 7th: with composite mars in the 7th house, the relationship can be more important to you and you can put a lot of energy into the relationship. you can be more willing to make compromises with one another, and work to meet in the middle, but if you don’t feel the other is being fair, that can cause a rift. in general, this can be a good placement for any serious relationship/partnership since this is the house of committed relationships.

8th house: in the composite chart, the composite 8th house shows how we use what we have together and share with one another. this house also governs intimacy and sex, so it can also show how we connect on a physical level in romantic partnerships (in a way that may be different from individually in the natal chart).

taurus 8th house : with the composite 8th house in taurus, you may hold on to what you have together for a long time, taking your time with making decisions about what to do with your resources, and waiting until you’re confident. you may want to devote resources to things that you feel are of value or will increase security in the relationship. in a romantic relationship, physical intimacy may be more of a slow burn, and it may be delayed.

8th house ruler in 8th house: you often desire death in your commitment to be blunt. you want every moment to feel heavy, to feel overwhelming, authentic to the bone. as a rule you never get attached until you know it’s the one, you’ve always weeded out the weak and we’re a serial dater-looking for the right match. these natives view commitment as something intense, a holy cleanse. to them giving our heart and soul to someone is one thing but giving them that private aspect, that what is hidden is earned not “given.” years after they commit they’ll still seem like a mystery and they never ever dive in all at once only in pieces and fragments. these natives can often shy away their lovers with their extremes but they’ll likely adore the intense yet prolific passion that exist in every moment. they are intensely possessive and protective once committed not wanting anyone or anything to share in the love they have for you! for them it’s all or nothing, life or death as every cell rushes. sex for them once a commitment is made is all about meeting god and the devil in the same setting.

sun in 8th house: with the composite sun in the 8th house, you can have a very serious relationship. the 8th house can be the darkest and most serious house, so this position can show a serious relationship that can’t be taken lightly, even if it’s a professional one. the 8th house rules transformations, so you can find that the relationship changes you or an aspect of your life in some way. this can be a good placement for a business partnership since this house rules other people’s money and shared resources. watch for having extreme emotions with one another, or with trying to control or dominate one another.

mercury in 8th house: with composite mercury in the 8th house, you can open up about serious subjects and issues with one another, and talk about the things you hold deep inside of yourselves. you can dig into one another to gain more understanding of each other than you may have with anyone else. communications between you can be intense, rarely light, and you do have to watch for having some epic fights. when you don’t see eye-to-eye, you each may try to dominate and control the conversation, but you need to be more open.

venus in 8th house: with composite venus in the 8th house, you can have an intense connection, and a romantic relationship can be extremely passionate physically and emotionally. it can be difficult to have a casual relationship with this placement, and you take the relationship very seriously. sometimes you can be a little obsessed with one another with this position, and need to make sure you’re not getting lost in the relationship. you may find it easier to balance the power in the relationship between you, but you can also enjoy fighting a little too much sometimes.

eros in 8th house: entrancing and absolutely drenched in inescapable and almost unrelenting compulsion. i often notice there’s two ways this energy manifest in a couple due to the depth and looming weight many either ignore and run away from the energy mistaking their connection as a “really strong hookup” but there are the others who truly dive into this connection and live in its dark and almost exposing ray. there’s something scary about this couple as well as something compelling. their sex is possessive and their sex is all consuming at times they can barrier people out with how invested and involved they are with one another-they live in one another and often can lose sight of their own psyche of they’re not careful or if eros is afflicted. sex here feels like death-climax feels like rebirth.

9th house: in the composite chart, the composite 9th house can show how we expand, explore, and experience life together. The composite 9th house can show how we share our wisdom as a pairing with the world, and how we find meaning.

gemini 9th house: with the composite 9th house in gemini, you may come up with lots of ideas for ways to expand your lives together, or for new experiences you want to have together. you may be interested in a variety of experiences, and work to take your knowledge and turn it into wisdom you can share together. you may be a little scattered at times with expansion or opportunities, and need to stick to plan.

9th house ruler in the 8th house: shows difficulty with religions and spirituality, detachment and vulnerability with religious beliefs and beliefs and philosophies of others, insecurities about own knowledge, learning and hence could avoid helping others or avoid advising, work in research or digging information is something you are good at, in laws may be spiritual and religious, with high standards and are intellectual, shows sexual relations with foreigners, while traveling at places of education, could study, medicine, psychology, healing subjects, academia at higher education, most likely to do PhD, father may have been absent, live away, or had difficult relationship with father if afflicted, TW- prone to addictions when life gets difficult if afflicted, shows an enlightened outlook to death and fear if unafflicted, if afflicted shows fear of death, fear stemmed from spiritual and religious beliefs and early teachings, lucky for finances unless afflicted, however are likely to spend equally more and this can create debts which may lead up to you taking loans, shows interest in healing and psychic subjects due to interest in spirituality and other metaphysical subjects, someone in family especially older people believed in occult subjects of astrology tarot, other divination practices, father may be into occult, learn occult from foreigners or get interested while traveling to some other region, can travel a lot after marriage, fortune after marriage, from in laws and rise in joint assets, use of occultists' practices for manifesting fortune, highly likely to have nightmares more than pleasant dreams if afflicted, especially about TW death, relationship with father may be limited after your marriage, TW death of mother in law may affect your marriage or you could have some change, there may be ups and downs in finances/luck, could experience major moments while traveling, may spend a lot on travel, can spend money to hide things or keep things secret, people may question your beliefs, faith and morals, sorrows in foreign land, difficulty in higher education, fortunate family in terms of wealth if unafflicted, luck can influence self esteem, self doubt on life philosophies, critical of religious and spiritual beliefs, fortune from older people, sexual partners

10th house: in the composite chart, the composite 10th house can show how you present yourselves as a pair, how you step out into the world together (your public life), and what you work toward together.

cancer 10th house: people see them as a very attentive couple, who are protective of each other and totally open with each other, they can give the impression that they finally found someone to be vulnerable with. they give the impression of being the weakness of the other and of loving each other very tenderly, others can perceive that they are much more delicate, sweet and loving when with the other or when the other is present. many may think that this is the couple with which they both end up. people realize how important it is for both of them that the other person is by their side and the comfort they feel when being with the other. in some cases, people might think that both are somewhat needy of the other. the loyalty and amount of affection in the relationship makes them stand out from others. they don’t dare to speak ill of the relationship because they know that both will defend it tenaciously.

10th house ruler in 10th house: the activities of the 10th house serve the agenda of the 10th house. building a reputation, gaining recognition for achievements and finding a vocation are an end unto themselves. you need a profession. you need to find your true vocation. getting out in the world and making a name for yourself is important to you. you want to be known for something. you want to be famous. you want to receive awards and recognition. you want to climb to the top of the mountain in whatever you choose to do. you are ambitious for the sake of being ambitious. you have an authoritative approach to career and vocation. you are ambitious in your profession. you want to reach the top of your profession. you want to become known for what you do. you want your day in the sun. you become widely known for what you do. your career builds your reputation. your reputation builds your career. your reputation precedes you. you become known for your achievement "oscar winner", "nobel prize winner" etc. you become known for your social status. you become known for your relationship with authority. you become known for acting like an authority. you become known as an authority on whatever type of work you choose to do. you are an authority on parental relationships. you are an authority on society’s standards and expectations. you are an authority on achievement, awards and recognition.

moon in 10th house: this couple is open about their affections and tenderness, it will be as evident to others as to themselves the enormous amount of love and the great and strong emotional connection between them. people know that both are the other's weak point and that their type of love is stable, lasting and demonstrative. both will show that they have a similar vision of the future, joint plans and from early stages they will include the other in their rhythm of life. they can live together before getting married. people will notice the compassion and details that they have with each other, they can see this relationship as something sweet, protective and very caring. they also notice that both are more open emotionally than with others.

vesta in 10th house: you are both likely to show your devotion to each other through your shared career path. you are both drawn to act in service of others through a path of public service. you may have an intense shared connection to a mission that blends your spiritual ideals and practical interests. you are drawn to supporting each other’s mission of service and healing and may be passionate about helping to inspire each other’s successes. this relationship can give you both the foundation you need to explore your passions and devotion to routines that help you bring healing and connection to a higher mission into your work and career.

11th house: the composite 11th house can show how we come together as friends in a relationship, the groups we interact with and causes you push for together. with the 11th house also ruling change and the future, it can show how change is approached and what future we envision.

leo 11th house: with the composite 11th house in leo, you can be the fun-loving pair in your friendships or groups you participate in, and others can give you a lot of attention together. you may be open about the changes that you want to make and get attention for that together, and can forge connections with others through them. you may be very involved in causes together, feeling deeply personally invested.

11th house ruler in 8th house:  you are likely to gain from deaths, hospitals, research, metals and occult. so any of these could be present as elements in your professions if not then could be an additional source of income or just these could bring you wealth. you may get gains or opportunities from unknown sources or it could be sudden. like you are slacking on the sofa and bam, a job opportunity comes up. if unafflicted this can bring some unexpected income. the people you hang out with may come unexpectedly to you, or not from your places of daily routine or where you would normally expect to meet. your friends or community you hang with could be scorpio/8th house stellium/scorpio dominant. your friends may be introverted, i'm getting an image of a gang meeting in alleys wearing emo but not it. you may be part of groups of occultists, mental health groups, physical health groups, research groups, trauma recovery groups, involving doctors, retired people, or deal with people involved in metal work, could be guns and ammunition. you may help out in old age or retired people's homes.  you could be friends with retired people. you can gain from your sexual partners, from in-laws. they may leave a hefty inheritance for you and your spouse. this placement shows possible experience with theft. you tend to get "vibes" when meeting people for the first time and you heavily rely on your intuition for judging people. you can suss out the shit that's been hidden from you. you can suss out vibes when a group of people, particularly your friends or close to you are being weird. you have many opinions about what's happening around you in the lives of your close friends and even some nancy (not meant to offend any person with this name) from your hobbies group. you can be borderline controlling with friends and groups you may be part of via exerting dominance over them, or at least you want to be , if you are socially anxious and are likely to keep quiet. i think overtime with new friends you make you open yourself more or just they get to see new layers to you compared to what your first impression was so you could be an unpredictable person to them, like you are keeping secrets from them or not opening yourself much. there could be a sense of competition with any group/community you may be part of and even friends. you are likely to hold back in fear of being vulnerable to your friends or they may be the only one you can be your intimate self with. possible sexual relations with friends or from anyone from your community. your elder sibling/friends may be susceptible to health issues if afflicted or could be a doctor in academia or is introverted. you can make friendships over taboo topics. common placement for people using the internet for astrology and tarot. you may face some online slander, loss of fortune over the internet if afflicted. could be part of orgies, fwbs. loans could prove fruitful if unafflicted. gains from foreign land. make one hard working and you could be someone who gets more motivated after a life changing experience, someone who puts focus into their work after something bad has happened. you may be insecure of your friendships, you could be jealous or suspicious of them .

chiron in 11th house: you are both brought together to help each other work through wounds and traumas related to your social network or higher vision. you may both feel alienated or disconnected from social trends. you may also feel like you have a sense of changes on the horizon but are often not taken seriously by friends and peers. through this relationship you can help each other see the higher purpose behind your traumas and past wounds. this relationship can help you both overcome restrictions and limitations so that you can both feel free to express yourselves and be true to your individual nature. you give each other the validation you’ve both sought socially, being open and nonjudgmental.

juno in 11th house: you are married to a shared mission involving innovation and an unconventional vision that you pursue together. through this relationship, you can both find it easy to express your faith and loyalty to a collective group or to organizations that resonate with your shared wisdom and intuition. you can also feel committed to showing your faith and loyalty to each other through helping each other work through your shared ideals. you can be committed to helping others and working together, you can help each other stand out in a crowd and influence organizations and grassroots groups.

pholus in 11th house: you both help each other to unleash radical ideas and dramatic changes that impact society. you may be able to help each other navigate times of uncertainty and dramatic change. you may both come into each other’s lives when social upheaval leads you both to have to reconsider your connections to friends and groups. this relationship can help you both find small ways to contribute to dramatic social upheaval and progress. once you help each other recognize the turning tides around you, you can be instrumental in helping each other innovate and redefine your beliefs and ideals.

12th house: in the composite chart, the composite 12th house can show what may be hidden in the relationship, what may play out subconsciously in the relationship, the karma of the relationship, and what needs to be let go of.

virgo 12th house: with the composite 12th house in virgo, it may be difficult at times for you to tend to day-to-day matters together, and you may struggle with figuring out when the health of your relationship is under stress at times. you may be able to move together to get things done easily in times of crisis subconsciously, but have a hard time consciously. there may be karmic issues with being overly critical that need to be addressed, and some anxiousness and insecurity may need to be let go of.

12th house ruler in 8th house: shows transformations and connections with foreign land. you may be introduced to spirituality and occult by foreigners or elders or father. you may get stuck or feel imprisoned in a foreign land, stuck if afflicted and if other factors are there. you may be secretive of your life away from home land, may not fully disclose your whereabouts or activities. shows success after hard work. there may be disinterest in sexual acts, some may be promiscuous. fear of intimacy and vulnerability. not the best placement for marriage if afflicted. shows distance between you and spouse if afflicted, could be purely a physical connection. can be a karmic relationship with a spouse. may get animosity from in-laws. you may fear your inlaws. health issues related to excretory systems and sexual organs. you may feel dissatisfaction in married life, in old age. you may be averse to partnerships or marriage. you may get vivid or even dark dreams, may be related to deaths or dying, or gloomy dreams in general, sexual dreams. you may spend a lot on others, spouse, inlaws, or insurance, loans repayment. indicates a lot of loan debt if afflicted. possible theft if afflicted or financial betrayal. you may gain a lot of debt after marriage if afflicted or spouse may help with debt if unafflicted. strong intuitive and spiritual potential. there may be sudden or unexpected change in beliefs or long term learnt knowledge. foreign experiences may be life changing. spiritual practices may be life changing for you. spouse or in inlaws or spouse's siblings may help you spiritually, they could be spiritual or are gurus/mentors or meditators. private, creative, charitable, domineering and controlling deep down. may have a lot of unknown secretive enemies. your private/detachment issues may prevent you from intimacy.

celeb's masterlist / moodboard / 1H - 6H

crd:

7h + 7h ruler

8h + 8h ruler + composite eros in houses

9h + 9h ruler

10h + 10h ruler + composite vesta in houses

11h + 11h ruler + composite chiron in houses + composite juno in houses + composite pholus in houses

12h + 12h ruler