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hehehehehenrik · 3 months

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It’s a Fear and Hunger OCs post, Termina one if to be specific. They’re not contestants, just a needed additions to the headcanon stories of the canon characters, so idk who’s going to read it lol, but whatever.

Well well well, welcome and hello. The characters who’s OCs connected to is Caligura and father Domek btw, very specific choosing yeah. If at one point you will feel like reading just someones OC post even in parts with Caligura and Domek themselves then yeah, I understand it. They’re are pretty much feel like my OCs at this point lol. What a shame.

Anyways, let’s proceed to the characters itself. The first ones will be Caligura related. Not everyone will have a names, so someone will be just called by they’re roles, at the other hand some will have names but it’s more of an additional info so they’re will be called by their roles, yeah. I will firstly write off the role in the plot of a character, then some main info, because them being plot mechanisms is the main part. Also some characters pics will be accompanied by little funny sketches because their pics only look stupidly long without it ugh.

- Caligura’s parents.

He barely remembers them, only the silhouettes and feelings about them. Mother was really uncaring, father only wanted to make him a perfect heir. At the later life with them everything get much worse, they became practically homeless. He doesn’t remember why, how or when specifically it happened. They never loved each other, and in this situation everything was also getting much worse. Parental neglect is now combined with being beaten by father and sometimes mother, but there was also moments when she was getting drunk enough to cry and comfort him.

At the age of 11 his father killed her, then going to do the same with the son. But he was in the changed state of mind, so the boy beat him off with the kitchen knife, killing him. But before that father leaved him a mouth scar that never fully leaved his face. After spending some time in the same place with two corpses, enough for them to start to decompose, he was taken to the orphanage.

He never been socialized, educated, or treated well, he knows nothing of the world aside loneliness, pain and now death. And now he’s truly alone against all the world.

- Now to the main info.

First of all, silhouettes he remember - it’s the father’s curly hair and mom being beautiful as Snow White. Pale skin white as a snow, hair black as an pitch and lips red as an apple. Father was pretty alike btw, but he had pale skin and red lips more because of the makeup. Yeah, Caligura been okay with man in makeup since childhood lol.

Also he remembers that his dad was really disappointed in him as the heir already, just because of how he looks. Father was beautiful but had weirdly white eyes and more animal than human like teeth, which was making him look pretty savage, and he really didn’t like it. Unfortunately, Caligura had all of that too, and he’s face overall wasn’t as pretty as he’s dad wanted too. It’s part of the history now what he wanted to made to change him into something better, Caligura don’t remember a bit.

Also he remembers that he’s mom was very sickly, just as the boy. He really is inherited the worst lol. The both was spending all the time home, but not together, he was really a crybaby and his mother was always complaining about how annoying it is. He also remembers how he heard once that she’s going to die soon, asking her later if that true, to which she openly said that “Yes, but dying young is good”.

There was also an episodes where she’d get some little animals, usually birds, in her hands, just to encourage son to squish them until they die. He doesn’t really remembers it clearly, or maybe not thinking of that as something that much of a deal.

Now to the parts that he don’t know or don’t remember at all. His parents were young, really young. When he was born mom was only 18 and dad only 20. Mother was sickly and all time at home already, everyone thought that she will die in her early 20s if not sooner. Father was already thinking that world is unfair and people sucks, but still he wanted to be on top of that, while thinking that beauty is the strongest weapon. But he wasn’t as perfect as he may be and even though he really is reached some heights already, he was pessimistic about his future, thinking that his imperfections will not let him get higher. That’s why he decided to create a perfect heir, and for that he needed much more beautiful woman, thanks to his connections, he became aware of one. Her parents were happy to give her away to someone and somewhere else, so they happily arranged a marriage. Which happened really fast, because she was awaited to be dead soon, he can’t waste any time.

That’s the way Caligura was born, birth practically killed his mother, but thanks to some healing rituals in the process, no one died. Afterwards the people who was making these rituals became an often guests at the household of the young parents, her health was declining even faster then it was.

Obviously there was not any love in that pair, they wasn’t even friends at any degree. Father was rarely at home anyways, being a social butterfly. But at the moment they lost everything things changed - they were arguing and fighting all the time now. At these times every beauty they had faded away.

Now continuing the story, to the orphanage may we proceed. But firstly - yes, he looks like Domek, that was intentional.

- Director.

At the moment Caligura came to the orphanage he was awfully injured and at bad health state overall. He was placed at the medical block, afterwards living in there all the time until he leaved the orphanage itself. He became very apathetic, practically not talking or moving at all, combine with his awful looks and scar no one wanted to take care of him even there. They was thinking that just looking at him was some sort of blasphemy. All the days he was spending laying down and looking out of window just above his head. But there was one person who visited him regularly - director.

He’d tell him in the most monotonous voice about how much of an awful, useless and blasphemous degenerate he is, read some Bible verses and go away. That was pretty sad, even though Caligura didn’t understand much of the words he was saying. But he never answered to these monologues, not even looked at him, but still he was coming again and again. Director hated him with the passion, but just the fact he was there when no one else was meant so much to the boy. But at one point Caligura became more lively, just like he finally take a breath in that new reality, after that they started talking. He’s been entire 7 years at the orphanage and by that time director pretty much raised him and shaped him the way he is. Even thought not really willingly, Caligura was the one who decided to learn from him after all. Even thought it didn’t made his relationships that much of a warmer, at least from Caligura’s point of view. He thought director hated him from start to the end, which lead him to acting aggressively all the time. Anyways, at the time he needed to leave orphanage moment of saying farewell was sad.

(Btw his name is father Bernardi, fully Enzo Bernardi)

- Now to the main info.

Even though he was the closest person to him, he barely knows him. He was not that much of a talker about himself, and talker at all when it was something off his job. Always tired and disappointed look, Caligura felted like he was a reason of that. He had that thousand yard stare, rarely focusing it even when talking to someone. And combining that with his monotonous voice and slowness it looked like he’s always daydreaming or something. Well, he pretty much was, he always was at other place in his mind, somewhere really far from that godforsaken orphanage.

He never wanted to be there in first place, but if he’d decline that then he’d need to leave the church at all. At least that what was known to Caligura. Also he knows the fact that church was all his life, director never told how it come to this, though. He also was seeing him taking some pills all the time, once again never telling what was that for, just saying that he needs or else he would die. He wasn’t that dead like all his life, just silent and calm, but at one point something broke him. That was the moment he became a director, he was going to became a higher rank in the church hierarchy, but instead of that he was assigned here. The only way out could be a word from Ministry of Darkness, but it was the same as hoping for Alll-mer himself to take him out of here.

He was very devoted believer, fanatic even, and even though Caligura never had any idea about religion he became some sort of a beliver himself, he’d just never admit it. Director’s faith was so pure and naive, but at the same time so strong and devoted that even Caligura himself felted comfort when he was once again reading something out of Bible. But that was a feeling he understood only many years after, at the moment he felt annoyance and even jealous.

He thought that director hated him just because he never gave him enough attention. Always talked to him like he was a grownup, so he never felted like a kid, just like a very stupid adult. That was very annoying and upsetting, but he never knew how to express it so he was just aggressive, which was leading him in all sorts of troubles. He became an often guest at the director’s office. He was eager for attention, for a safety, being comforted by someone, but director never understood it. He was only encouraging staff to think that ugly boy from medical block some sort of blasphemous demon, sometimes it’s even looked like he believed it himself. But when boy was trying to hug him he never pushed him away or hug him too. He never beaten him, but he never touched him with bare hands, he was covering them in the long sleeves of his cassock. All that would be weird even for the normal kid, but for that unsocialized and unstable one it was a never ending nightmare.

Only years after, in his 30s, he’d returned there by work matter and found some old documents. There was letters from and to Ministry of Darkness. They were very interested in some boy from the medical block, even promised director to get him out of the orphanage. But he declined, without any further explanation. Caligura felted rush of emotions he felt only when he get the news of director’s death. That feeling of being truly alone in that big and chaotic world. It made him to look back on their relationships and now, being all that grownup with a shit ton of social experience, he understood that director hated him only at the start. Later it was attempts of caring from someone very lonely and very sad. Someone who never cared about even himself, but at one point became attached to the boy who was damned from the birth. That way that new understanding made him feel something so unusual and so useless in his new life.

Guilt.

- Marlena (yeah I stole that name from Måneskin’s songs)

After Caligura came out of orphanage he had no idea what to do in the world, or even that much aware of the world around at all. But he already had some company from the orphanage, and of course he was a leader already. They were problem makers even in there, so they continued that path in the big world. Living in the streets, stealing and killing, wasting money on booze and drugs. Everyone was pleased by that pointless existing, they couldn’t wish for more. But Caligura could. He already once lived in the pretty rich house with silk curtains, expensive paintings in golden frames and there were people in beautiful clothes with elaborate patterns and arrogant manners. He wanted to be back in there, it felted like the Olympus from which he was thrown. So he started to make plan of the return, his gang was still doing some petty stuff, but now money was used for some more useful things, like good clothes. You can’t even dare to dream about being part of higher society if you dress in rags, but he wanted to act like he already in one, so he choose something extravagant. That’s when his signature total white look made it’s entrance. And black lips of course.

But that was outfit for some important occasions, when he was in his work time he still looked like rat in rags. One of the important occasions became some parties with middle class people. You can’t jump to the higher party’s all of a sudden after all, there need to be small steps taken. On one of these parties, where no one approached him unless he’s the one who started the conversation, there was a girl who talked to him first. She noticed his badly drawn lips and decided to help him with that, he liked that unceremonious approach, so when she asked him to dance he immediately agreed. They was talking and dancing all evening, in the process he found out that she is something between art director and manager of some cafe in the city, don’t have husband or even boyfriend and is actually younger than she looks, but still year or two older than Caligura. He liked all the parts of this, so after that night he started to meet her in that cafe, looking very interested in deepening their acquaintances.

Their relationships were rather short, 4 years or so, but still it was pretty life turning for both of them. Marlena actually was from a family with connections to the higher society, and she was gladly teaching Caligura about manners and social interactions overall. Also she was making pretty good money, while he didn’t really said anything about his work, so she also became money bag for him. He pretty much was using her, but it’s not like his feelings about her were not true, it’s just that he had no idea how to show them. Anyways, his shady business was short to be hidden. She was pretty chill about it, of course she was complaining how bad and dangerous it is, but not like in the matter of others, she was more worried for him and herself. Marlena was pretty bored of her everyday life, so a little danger was even exciting.

Throughout their relationships she was accepting pretty much every weirdness about him. His sense of style, impulsiveness, unstable emotions, too much of ambitions, etc etc. But she never was able to accept how much Caligura didn’t like to talk about himself. He never told about from where he is, what with his parents, how he come to this sort of life and else. He always dodged these questions or just silently, with grim face, looked her in the eyes. Their passion and some sort of love understandable only for them ended pretty soon, but still they didn’t break up. Now it was just some weird obsession with each other, they’d even spend nights with others, but still come back to each other. They both needed someone to care about them, love in some sort. Not just using for one night, even though at this point they pretty much were doing the same.

They became a little warmer to each other again when Caligura started talking about marriage, he really meant it. Even though Marlena wasn’t that old, not even 30, she still felted that it may be her last chance, so she didn’t really care about what she feels about him at the moment. But that new prospering future was shattered by the fact that he’s now not just part of some street gang, but have connections with “the Family”. They was the reason her family aren’t part of the elite themselves anymore, they destroyed her fathers business and left her mother disabled. Even though she never really liked her parents, they were more interested into business and social matters, it just felted wrong, and dangerous to her business too. He didn’t like that, so he decided to act.

He killed her parents and came to her with that news with really happy face. He thought that it would solve at least some problems, but obviously she wasn’t happy. He didn’t like it even more and now any sort of care about her disappeared, it like he understood all her wrongs at one moment. Like pink glasses finally shattered. He tried to kill her by beating up, but he was pretty drunk so she was able to run away, even though her face was pretty damaged. He never saw her again, she didn’t even visit her home or work again after that night. Marlena just disappeared like she didn’t ever existed from the start. After that Caligura started his integration into mafia business at full force.

- Well that was long, now to the main info.

Even though it looks like already a lot were written, there still a lot of what weren’t. First of all what they both was like in these relationships. Marlena was jealous as fuck, she had bad story with other guys, but that jealousy wasn’t even about cheating or something, she was the same lol, it was about time spending and talking. She wanted that look of happy couple, always being together, kissing and hugging in public and all that, well, Caligura didn’t like that. He always was pretty grim and standoff, and at these hard times when he only was settling himself in the criminal world he especially was like that. He wanted to give her attention only when his mind wasn’t occupied by endless plans and strategies, and also all that tenderness was really embarrassing for him, he isn’t used to it. So she still was able to soften him sometimes, make his mind at ease and just let him rest. He was young and not exposed to the most worst of human beings, she was able to make him little more normal and stable. That was the main thing that glued them together, they was able to comfort each other like no one else could.

Also for Caligura there was not less important part of their relationships - the feeling of family. She introduced him to her parents, after that he pretty often visited their house. Her parents was nice to him or them at all just because they lost most of their income with crash of father’s business. At this point Marlena was making more money, and they wanted some part of that. She knew about that, but still was eager for their attention, so she was playing along. Caligura didn’t understand that, she never told him that straightforwardly but still was making some hints, but he didn’t had any normal socialization so he really didn’t get it. And he loved that illusion, even more than her at some point. So killing them was pretty hard decision, that’s why he didn’t even thought that she can be unhappy with that, he thought they mean more to him than to her.

She also was encouraging his extravagant fashion, helping him with some sewing or makeup, even helped to make long nails once. She liked his vampire like look and that he was trying to act accordingly, but it’s not like she ever figured out if that just the way he is or some sort of performance. Well, it’s not like he understood it himself anyways, maybe all his life at this point was some sort of stupid performance.

- Mentor

Caporegime Bianco, he was the one who found and introduced Caligura to “the Family”. As it turned out his gang was doing business on the caporegime’s territory. Bianco was known for his cruel methods and “No half measures” philosophy. He could end all that gang activity in few days, but he found them interesting. Their tactics and how clean everything was felted pretty professional. Some people even thought that mafia is now on some petty crimes like killing senile and robbing their apartments. That way Bianco decided to meet their leader. He told Caligura that he can help him in that chaotic criminal world. Young man agreed without hesitation, he was waiting for that moment for a long time. His gang became part of the Bianco regime, now their operations was in someone else favor. Not everyone liked it, so his team needed some reorganization. But also Caligura was no more a full leader, plans were already done, he became just an executor. He was really short tempered these years, still young and hot blooded. Bianco was done with all that whining pretty soon, so he decided to tame him.

That was a long process that ended successfully only when Caligura himself decided to. Bianco had high hopes for him, so he gladly started to teach him even after all the hysterics. He was a grateful pupil and fast learner, so he became the main man of Bianco’s regime already at his late 20s. Everything was going good, they were on the good terms personally, Bianco was even calling him his son. There were chances that Bianco may receive a permission from Don to organize his own family, that way Caligura could became a Don himself in the future. But that wasn’t how he planned it all.

He wanted to do it the way he always is. Lying, betraying and killing, but there was no such a drama in that scenario. He felted out of place, he never was ready to all that peaceful shit, he didn’t want it. He wanted to kill Bianco somewhere in the process of their partnership, when the most right moment will come. But all that father son play made him weak and soft, he was thinking sometimes that maybe he really should just wait? Not doing anything, just do his job properly and wait when he became son of a Don Bianco? These thoughts were comforting, but he still couldn’t decide that for sure. Was it really enough of fighting for him to get that position? He didn’t felt like that, also he didn’t saw himself without eccentric shit, so he decided to analyze the situation with cold head. He came to conclusion that just waiting may cost too much and Don’s decision may change drastically any day, so hoping for the miracle is a bad idea. He finally found a good moment for becoming a Capo himself.

He killed Bianco, organized his funerals and finally become a Caporegime. At the moment he was already more than 10 years in “the Family”. He became a great successor, just as cruel as him, but not really with “No half measures” decisions since Mentor also counted compromises as such. Caligura liked compromises, because if someone betrayed the trust that was given even after a mistake then he could act even more cruel than without it. He’s more artistic and eager for attention in his business. Collecting newspapers with his name on it, and at the same time really paranoid and stand off. But that’s what he is at the moment when his criminal career is pretty much ended, at least in the form he knew all his life, and that part of the story only yet to be revealed.

- Well, now to some main info.

Unlike his reputation, Bianco was actually really nice and funny man. But to those who where higher or on his level, with those who were just a pawns in his business he was rather condescending and arrogant. But Caligura was seen by him like a successor from the very beginning, so he never tasted that side of his mentor, at least fully. It’s just that at the time when he was trying to tame that hell hound he was pretty cruel sometimes. But still, Caligura never felted it like something so much bad, he used to that attitude after all. Vice versa, he was weirded out when Bianco was trying to be nice to him -helping with founding the house for him to live; giving more money than he should so boy can finally eat normally; introducing him to his real family; at some point even calling him his son. For a pretty long time he was more of playing a role of an adopted son, after the story with Marlena he was pretty exhausted of all that family illusion thing, but at one moment he accepted it.

But Bainco’s family (that consisted of a 5 daughters, their husbands and kids, and Bainco’s wife) never accepted him. Mentor tried his best to make them love him as much as he does, but that didn’t help. Hell hound bit was not just for the sake of cool namings, that what everyone saw and see him like. A savage and aggressive but loyal creature. Monster of Frankenstein finally founding his place in the world, being used but not understanding that. Even Bianco himself saw him more like that rather as a fellow human, even if he never said that. But his policy of “He coming alive from that mission or dying as a weakling” was pretty telling by itself. Caligura himself thought about things being like that only in his senior years, it made the nostalgia became coloured in more blue, but at least now things made more sense.

Oh and family being mentioned, why didn’t Bianco just had another kid, who would be a boy and had a successor from the family? Well, he tried, a lot of times, but the only son he had was really sickly and died in his toddler years. That was a big blow for him, so he decided that founding some boy from the streets would be better. He low key had a savior complex, so sickly looking ugly fuck like Caligura was perfect. Later Caligura told him his story and that made it all even better. Poor boy that doesn’t even know his last name, only weird name that sounds more like a taunt than a real one, but still suits him perfectly. A hell hound with sad eyes and eager for attention, Mentor didn’t even need to try hard to make him loyal. Just few pats on head, warm home and food and he is ready to protect his house till death. Bianco was very happy that he was the first to found him, before someone else does it or him just dying in another gun fight.

And still Bainco tried to be supportive and nice to him, even helping with some momentary whims like studying at university or building a race car to participate in races. Nothing ever came out of it, but it made Caligura feel better, like a kid playing with toys he never had. Mentor was also a good listener, always ready to help with advice using all his wisdom. That way organizing his funeral was pretty emotional to Caligura, even though he never showed it. But the worst part was hearing whispers about him and “real” family. He hated that division. Even though he always remembered that his daughters and wife never accepted him, but he preferred to perceive himself as a “real” family. But just as a sorrow, he never showed it, helping his family with everything they may need. But girls didn’t like that condescending attitude, they’d accept help from everyone but not from him. Not long after his trying to help they unfortunately had a car accident. Multiple times. He really didn’t want to waste his artistic potential for that big family, yeah.

Well wow, we finally ended the part with Caligura. I was writing that in total for three days lol. Actually maybe I should do Domek part in other post but nah. He has only two parts anyway, not that much.

Btw there will be a lot of religion lore headcanons that is just borrowing things from real life Christianity because, idk, why not lol.

- Domek’s parents.

He remember them in cold and sad pastel blue. That was main colour in their house, what his mother was wearing usually and these few father’s clothes pieces that weren’t cassocks or other church attires. They both were cold and aggressive to him. Father was rarely seen in his younger age, never talking to him about anything else but a one sided monologues of how bad he is in something. Awaiting only “Yes, father” or “No, father”. Mother was always at home, drinking and sleeping, she usually was just asking him to bring her some more wine or beer. When he tried to talk with her she would say that she tired and he should find someone else to play with. At the moments when they gathered all together it was just an awkward silence with an obvious I-don’t-wanna-be-here look. Sometimes it was arguing but father was getting him out of house very quickly.

But that was when he was teen and earlier, when he became young adult he got in that rebel phase. He was able to sneak from ever watching gaze of father, who didn’t care that much to notice and know everything anyways. That way he was readings books he shouldn’t, and that was anything not useful for his dark priest life. He got aware about other countries, cultures, art and beauty. He also was reading occult books ahead of his program, more philosophical and theoretical than practical, more about questioning and analyzing than just understanding and using. He got his own image of how church should work, how rituals should be done and what feeling he should have about religions and Gods itself. He didn’t want to be dark priest of Prehevillian diocese, he thought about their practices and policy’s as those that wrong, not going by the books and being not faithful enough. He was nauseating from priests behavior, from how church was full of prevents, scums and idiots(he calls it anyone he don’t like btw), and more and more. Of course he could have enter his position and just change it the way he want(well, what he did after all), but at the moment it seemed too far in the future and being in that awful, grey and boring city felted just too exhausting. That way he started to plan his runaway to Vatican, where he could study anything anyway he wanted.

But, obviously, that didn’t happen. His rebel phase was over and now he needed to start studying at seminary. The main problem was his lack of social experience(he was home educated obviously) and his last name. Everyone knew that no matter how better others may be than him, next bishop will be another Domek. They hated him for that, and his stand offish and arrogant attitude wasn’t helping. He was reading at every free minute, not talking to others and not showing any interest in dialogue when someone else was starting it. He was aware that they hates him just for being Domek. When he was younger he would be sad about it and tried to show that he’s not like his family. But now he was just mad about everyone being annoying idiots that don’t understand how lucky they are not being part of already written scenario. At that point he became more mad of his father than feared, he started to see how spineless was his policy in practice, how no one saw Domek’s as a respected family anymore.

At these times mother became less cold with him, talking with him by her own will even. But it usually was just teary whining about how much he’s like his father now, how all Domek’s is the same and how she hates the day she became part of that cursed family. He was listening to it without any emotion, just looking through her. She was scared by that even, so these dialogues, or monologues, to be precise, were not long. At these moments even father became less cold, they both were trying to play the role of repentant parents time to time. But he didn’t care anymore, he saw all that as awfully embarrassing and weird, but never tried to stop them. He was enjoying how they was humiliating themselves. But all that gave him feeling that this is time to end their misery and to became a head of the church himself. At the same time some awful and dark thoughts started to capture his mind, he was giving his favor to Alll-mer’s teachings, but something from absolutely opposite side was talking to him…

He killed them both with broken glass bottle. The scenes were really graphic, no one at the church was pleased by how reigns of power were handed over. But he was the Domek here, he was next bishop, no one could change it without killing him too, and he knew they wouldn’t. So he started the church makeover with no hesitation.

- Now some main info.

Pretty obviously that marriage was forced just for the sake of having heir. But these two still liked each other in some degree, pretty much uniting in the hatred towards Domek junior. He was a great beating bag for them, if anything goes bad then it was his fault of course. That way he learned to say “I’m sorry” in every situation. But for dad he became an actual beating bag in his young adult age, few time he even broke his ribs lol. Once it even got through lungs, oops. His dad was more interested in workout than occult things. But also he was really hypocritical about prohibiting his son to read “useless” books. He himself was into technical sciences because in his younger years he’d read books about math rather than occult one. And his interest was pretty visible since all church constructions at the time was made with help in design matters, he even done some designing for the city itself.

While mother was really just home all the time, no friends or interests, just alcoholism and self pity. She was a melancholic and emotional even before marriage, very easily drown to tears and hysteria. And always wanted some attention, but tender and loving one, she wanted to raise her son that way, that he will love her, but she forget the part where she also loves him. But still he loved her, just not in the way she wanted. Not that openly showing it, because he thought of that as something embarrassing and not suitable for dark priest. Even when he killed his father he became hysterical and wanted to run away with mother somewhere quiet and peaceful, where they could start new life and forget all of that. She was seeing that he’s not in stable state of mind, so she tried to calm him down. But actually just did that for trying to call for help. He gone mad from that and killed her too. In later years he would understand that his decision was too emotional and he could handle things in more appropriate way, but oh well.

But there was one person who he loved genuinely. His grandfather. Yeah there was a moment when three of Domek’s was on Earth at the same time, imagine a horror. He didn’t have his own part in the story because he died very soon after junior was born, but still he had some important impact on him. It would be that he showed kid a church much before he should see it at the start of his classes here. Grandpa was much more faithful than his son, which the last didn’t like so he was trying to limit their contact as much as he could. Yeah, grandpa was too soft in the personal matters to even dare his son such a things. Anyways, junior already felted religious joy from that church visit. Grandpa even gifted him once a ritual knife, it was fast to be taken away by dad, but still that feeling of steel with such a sinister meaning made him eager to know how to participate in rituals, much before he actually could lol. Grandpa saw the potential in youngster and really didn’t mistaken.

And now to the next person, who helped and broke him at the same time.

- Domek’s girlfriend/wife (nope, she’s not gonna have a name)

They met at the time of the second year Domek being at seminary. She was selling flowers on the street near, students were often going to the church from seminary through that street. He usually would just going at the end of crowd wile reading something, she liked that type of guys(stand off, melancholic, kind of depressed and with little social experience). Their looks were crossing often, she would smile at him while he’d fast look away back at the book. Obviously he wouldn’t start the conversation so she was the initiator. He didn’t mind this time.

She didn’t hesitate to show that she wants him carnally, not really caring about all that personality part. While he thought of her as a friend first of all and didn’t understand all these hand or even leg touches. But she was patient, especially after she became aware that he’s gonna be next bishop. Till the end of his studies in seminary their meetings was pretty weird from the side look. He really loved all these old books about knights and princess with tender love and sweet attention signs, so he was trying to do it that way. He even learned how to weave wreaths, but the only thing she said was that he’s acting like a stupid teen. There was a lot of moments like these, she was annoyed by his laugh and even smile, saying one that without it he looks smarter. And he took it to heart, like it was some absolute truth and wisdom. That’s pretty much summarize what their relationship was at that time.

When he became a priest she decided that now it’s time to became his wife before he would became a bishop and someone else would be his wife. And she didn’t want to lose him after all these years of brain fuck. She never was that much of a pious girl, but for him she started going to the church, helping in there and all that. He appreciated it. Years after they finally married, without actually knowing anything about each other, it just something that must be done after all of that. The wedding night was…disappointing, for both, but at least the child was conceived.

Domek became cold and absence, while she became kind of really into him. Now she was the one who tried to make something romantically and get to know him, and he was trying to avoid her as much as he can. Always saying that he’s just have a lot of work, really tired and all of that. And when the child was delivered any chance of their relationships to stabilize was dead to the roots. That was a big blow to him, he became even more silent at home, most of the time daydreaming and having that look of I-don’t-wanna-be-here, just like his parents had. She still was trying to do something, she didn’t want to leave her daughter fatherless with alive one. At first she tried to be nice, to call for his conscience, but it didn’t work, so they started arguing and even fighting sometimes. It didn’t last long, after one incident he finally moved out of family house and started live at the church cell.

Domek never initiated any meetings with his wife or daughter after that. Initiations were on her shoulders again, and he didn’t like it a bit. After Marina’s departure to Vatican nothing became better, but changed, she now didn’t bother him. What was after is known already.

- Now to the main info.

Oh boy, what is even to start with. Well, few(or more) words about girl herself. She is from old town, she was the most beautiful girl in here and very enviable bride. Her father wasn’t the richest man in here, but her beauty and hard work was enough for the local man. It’s the local man that wasn’t enough for her, so she decided to try found someone in the city. Since priests don’t have celibate in there she wanted some pretty priest from the start. But she didn’t want someone who would command to her, she was raised by single father with not the best health, so she was used to be the leader. That’s why she was so intensely looking at silent bookworm guy with frown as the rest face. He looked very easy to manipulate and, well, she didn’t mistaken, only problem was that he was too pious and his head always was in the church.

They never understood each other and not like even wanted too. They both had romanticized, in their own way, versions of each other in head, that was enough for them. But still they were always hoping that one day everything changes and it become better, which is never came. And that realization came after the wedding night, by some reason Domek reacted to that too harsh. And that “some reason” was that he never loved her. Not like man loves woman. But like preacher loves his God. That way the act felted like a total sacrilege to him. But that helped him to return in reality, remembering that she’s not some sort of Goddess and never really applied for that role. He just was an idiot, idiot with really early faith crisis that decided to believe in someone closer to his mortal shell. That realization of full gravity of his sin blow him as a strike of thunder. He don’t have just a job to do in the church, he now needed to pray and repent for the two, no, for the three of man. But he never hoped for the forgiveness, he understood that it’s something that will be on his shoulders for all life. But that was the matter between him and God, at least in the work things was pretty okay.

And then Marina was born…That news felted like a God’s punishment. He failed Him, so he will fail his family too. He was already in despair and now it’s only became stronger. His drinking habit got only worse, but since when his too drunk he just falls asleep it means that after coming home from work he’d drink bottle or two of wine and go to sleep lol. Not that much of a tragedy, but family felt his absence even when he was home. And still there was a time to argue with his wife of course, she didn’t just ignore his behavior. That never helped to resolve the problems anyhow, but at least she was doing something. After Domek’s moving out she just was terrorizing him time to time in church. That was awfully annoying and embarrassing for him, but really funny for his colleagues. But nothing too interesting happened at these times anyway. She was busy raising a daughter, and he was busy at work. After Marina’s departure they even kind of forgot about each other, like they never met to begin with. That was at least some time of peace. But everything is coming to an end eventually.

Phew, looks like that finally ended, yay. Thanks to anyone who made it to the end, God bless you. Hope it wasn’t that much waste of time. Well, what else to say, ask your questions or whatever, ask box always open yeah. Byee.

#fear and hunger oc

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