#maybe the best like...snap representation in the mcu

[simplybishova]

yelena belova - hawkeye s1e05

[astromechs]

Hello. Hope it's okay to step my foot in the vol 3 commentary. I'm more of a casual mcu fan. I have watched the gotg movies but haven't kept up with any background information. All of the asks you've received have me curious if there's more about what went into vol 3 than I'm aware of? I ask because I saw the movie and while I liked it a lot I felt it had some holes and characterization issues that I have seen comparable movies both in the mcu and out get more constructive criticism over. With vol 3 it seems most people either don't find the weak spots an issue or I'm seeing a lot of 'James Gunn did the best he could with what he had'. I guess I'm not getting it because I was under the impression he had more creative control on the movie than a lot of other directors. At least that's what I had read.

I do want to be clear I'm not saying the movie is bad. It's not at all. I'm mostly thinking about how representation gets talked about and fans critiquing plots. I think there were some problems in vol 3 that mostly get glossed over. I won't go into too much detail but on the representation topic while Gamora has garnered some discussion I actually think in general Drax, Mantis and Gamora all got the short end of the stick at the end compared to the other main characters. With Drax facing Thanos was a huge part of his arc that didn't seem to get any payoff or emotional follow up. I would think the events of Infinity War would be a big topic in vol 3 not just because of Gamora but for him as well. For the most part Infinity War was treated like a non issue. I did love where he ended up at the conclusion of the movie but I think his character kind of stagnated after vol 1. With Mantis she had been with the team for several years prior to the snap. She's also an empath and can read people during difficult situations. The holiday special showed her to be more confident in herself and her abilities. It really looked as if she would get more focus in vol 3 and maybe take on leadership responsibilities. She seemed to get sidelined on this end for Nebula to have more prominence on the team and be more of a leader. This is not me saying Nebula shouldn't have been on the team. I'm mainly speaking about how Nebula wasn't on the team before the snap and didn't participate in the day to day interactions. After the snap it was Rocket she had a closer relationship with but the rest of the team had been snapped and would predominantly be familiar with pre snap dynamics. I think Mantis stepping up would have made more sense and allowed the audience to have a better grasp of her arc. There's also Gamora who as I mentioned before has had lots of discussion. But the biggest thing I felt was odd is the team was built on the back of her purpose and sense of duty. Her morality if you will. I get that she would need a different story in vol 3 but I still feel this needed more emphasis and closure. She also was a pretty equal lead to Peter who had a lot of her own plot. That got sidelined which seems like a really big problem and blow for the female lead.

I guess I'm mostly pointing this out because I have seen fans quick to call out undermining of female characters or underutilized minority characters as well as holes in writing. In a couple of mcu movies that took place after Endgame i have seen fans complain if they didn't address what happened in Infinity War or Endgame enough. Vol 3 seems to mostly get handwaved around all of this and I thought maybe I'm missing something or don't understand if there are outside influences that factored into the writing.

i think a lot of "he did the best he could, given the circumstances" comes from gunn, generally speaking, being a more skilled writer than many of the creatives who work on the mcu, and infinity war/endgame creating seismic changes for the state of the fictional world that weren't entirely within his control. i do think both of those things are true, especially when you compare the more cohesive arcs for more characters in vol 1/vol 2 than we saw in vol 3. but —

i have also found the arcs of drax and mantis, and, yes, nebula too, disjointed. it's one of the reasons why, personally, the end of vol 3 didn't feel entirely earned to me? because we didn't really see the development for these characters that we should have in order for the ending to really be a climactic resolution. so i think they were absolutely shortchanged, along with gamora.

gamora's case is most egregious, imo, because she was established as a principal character of the narrative and then subsequently sidelined, but those other characters didn't really get fully realized arcs either.

i didn't work on these movies, so i don't know what happened behind the scenes. but i think you can tell the parts of vol 3 that were there from the beginning of the story, and the parts that were cobbled around infinity war/endgame — and then subsequently didn't really address them.

vol 3 wasn't a bad movie by any means, and had a lot of good in it, but it did have some pretty glaring issues.

[stark-defense-squad]

I actually remember reading this on the anti Wanda maximoff tag some time ago,but it really made an impact.the post was talking about how Wanda stans/tony antis shit on tony for trying to kill Bucky(which he wasn't bc he would have destroyed him,we've all seen iron man 2 and 3.if he wanted you dead you'd be dead)but like rabidly support Wanda and her revenge.

When I said I wanted more female representation in the MCU, this was not what I meant.

Honestly, Wanda stans give me a worse headache than cap stans. At least with Cap stans, Ik they’re just falling for that stupid USA propaganda. Other than being fooled by her white woman tears™️, idk wtf is wrong with her stans.

Wanda fully aware chose to join Hydra, a neo-nazi organization, as an adult, just because they were offering her “revenge” on Tony Stark, which makes her a fucking neo-nazi. She consciously decided to use her powers to mind-rape the Avengers. She actively decided to send the Hulk on a rampage to kill innocent civilians. She actively supported Ultron up until she realized she was one of the fucking humans he was going to wipe out, which makes her joining the Avengers a conflict of interest at best and pure self preservation/manipulation at worst. And all of that is just Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Later, she murders POC innocent civilians because she has no control over her powers, then gets upset and throws a fit when Tony says, “hey, maybe you shouldn’t be on life-or-death missions when you can’t control your powers”. Imagine if someone who didn’t know how to use a gun waltzed into the middle of a highly stressful mission in the middle of civilian ground with a machine gun, murdered innocent people, then got upset that they had to face consequences.

Then she throws a fit when someone suggests her microwave boyfriend’s life is less important than millions of innocent civilians, and with Cap’s support, thousands of Wakandans (black Africans) are killed, for nothing might I add considering she did a shit job and Thanos still got a hold of Vision’s stone, and half of the universe is snapped.

And woe is she, so she loses control of her powers, again, and enslaves a whole fucking city. But she didn’t know! So when she finds out that she’s hurting all of them, she throws another fit and forces them to continue playing along with her little fantasy.

And not once has she ever learned from any of her mistakes. Not once has she been humbled. Not once has she been forced to face the consequences of her actions. In fact, for her mistakes, others are punished.

But it’s alright. All of this is alright. She’s grieving and traumatized after all. Right? Because Tony Stark killed her parents with his bomb when she was a child.

Cry me a river. Why doesn’t she try to get revenge on the terrorists that deployed the bombs? Why does she actively choose to be an entitled cunt and put thousands of POC lives at risk? Why does she join a fucking neo-nazi organization?

Imagine going “oh I’m sad, I’ll join the KKK to feel better”.

But Tony is rich and she’s a white woman and she cries on screen.

And that, right there, is their logic I guess.

[moontheoretist]

This moment when MCU tries to be feminist but misinterprets the core messages they laid out in their own movies. Feminism my ass.

“You break the rules and become a hero. I break the rules and become the enemy. That doesn’t seem fair”.

BS! I CALL BS!

Stephen Strange: Breaks the rules to save the whole reality from being consumed by an interdimensional monster and saves lives.

Wanda Maximoff: Breaks the rules to make herself a dollhouse in which she trapped people and made them suffer through her imagined storyline, because she needed a safe space.

Yeaaah, definitely not fair when your motives are always self-centered, while Stephen’s were for saving the world. Yeah. Absolutely.

There is nothing wrong with being selfish and wanting to protect your family, as long as you don’t sacrifice other people for it. And Wanda? She never had any issues with sacrificing some people for her own gain. She learned from the best after all. *cough, cough* Steve goddamn Rogers *cough, cough*

Edit:

I couldn't compare Stephen and Wanda basing it on all the arguments, because I didn't watch the new Spider-Man movie, but the core idea of my argument is the same: MCU Wanda is not treated as an enemy for breaking the rules for the sake of humanity in any instance of her using her powers. She doesn't have that kind of history in MCU, because she is always shown to care more about herself and her life than anybody else with only two singular acts of maybe showing she cares about the world (turning against Ultron when she sees the vision of world's destruction and proceeding with destroying Mind Stone in Infinity War despite loving Vision and wanting to protect him instead). Stephen on the other hand is 50/50, breaks the rules to save the reality from Dormammu, breaks his oath and gives away the Time Stone to Thanos also to save the world (but lets a lot of people die in the process and not all of them get resurrected later as they died due to snap, but weren't snapped themselves), and then proceeds to tamper with the reality and people's minds for the sake of protecting one kid's secret identity, which is his only selfish reason so far to be using his powers. (Not counting What If’s representation of him trying to save Christine).

Stephen's MCU history is just better than Wanda's. The reason for that is that Wanda is just a convenient plot device for the movies' storyline, while Stephen is an actual character with actual storyarc. Wanda doesn't have a storyarc, because nobody cared to give her one, and even in her own TV show the storyarc given to her focuses on all the wrong stuff (her coming into power as Scarlet Witch) instead of fulfilling an objective of setting her on the road to be a hero in the same way Tony or Stephen were set on theirs. It just doesn't happen to Wanda's character. She is never properly redeemed, she never follows any actual hero-like storyarc of "from zero to hero" or "from villain to hero". She is just there, because she is convenient to be kept for the sake of future bullshit MCU wants to sell us.

[ayankun]

WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???)  There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference.  I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep.  The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels.  It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but.  the trauma is the joke.  The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!!  “Be. Good.”  UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice?  Please let it be deliberate.  I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found.  FOUND.  Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.”  Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now.  “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong.  Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music. 

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period.  The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!!  And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!!  This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft.  That happened in Civil War, right?  So the next ad is The Snap?  We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw.  Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left.  Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established.  That’d be p neat.  A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro.  I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed?  But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro?  Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse?  If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking.  But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away.  I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up?  Because look.  If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident?  With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just.  There’s just too many villains, alright?  We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up.  I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town.  Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California.  In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned?  Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him.  Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right?  I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right.  If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied.  Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time?  In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors.  Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory.  Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought.  I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection.  Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top. 

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction.  Like.  LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

[skywalkersapprentice]

so when I saw infinity war the second time, i brought a pen and a notebook with me and took notes in the dark the whole time. for my second endgame viewing yesterday, i did the same. i now present to you my Thoughts About Endgame. (this is. long.) 

Major Spoilers Ahead.

okay seriously, nobody called clint up when there was a giant invasion in wakanda??? nobody???

also it was daytime in wakanda when the snap happened. it’s also daytime wherever clint is in america when the snap happens. someone explain.

god the dawning panic when clint realizes his family is gone. that whole scene is so empty and unsettling, it was shot really well

i automatically associate 80s music with space thanks to marvel. 

tony stark adopting strays everywhere he goes since 2013.... i love this about him

nebula finally got to win something!!!! “it was fun.”

and then she gives him their final ration. i’m- :((((

back on earth..... thank god the beard is gone.

���I lost the kid” tony’s face wow that’s devastating, no thanks

“Is um...” what was tony going to say after that??

“I thought you were a build-a-bear.” “Maybe I am.” fuckign.... tony please sdfgdfg

“And I needed you.” tony :(((

“No trust. Liar.” this entire scene is just. chilling. heartbreaking. tony has nothing left for anyone, and especially nothing left for steve, except-

him ripping the metaphorical heart out of his chest and handing it to steve made me literally gasp the first time i watched this film. i feel like it hasn’t been talked about enough, but it’s incredibly poetic.

“where are you going?” “to kill thanos” i haven’t seen captain marvel but i’m already in love with carol danvers

and now they have hope, they still think they can bring everyone back... what a dangerous thing

suddenly steve is looking at his locket of peggy all the time.starting in this film only. can we let him grieve for his actual friends?? you know, the ones he just lost? does he even mention sam or bucky in the entire film?  alright russos, i have several bones to pick with you about this, but alright....

i gotta say, when i first watched this i was astounded that thanos destroyed the stones and then got beheaded in the first twenty minutes. it really left me wondering, well- what now? and that was exciting.

five years later. i mean, we knew there would be a time jump, but i wasn’t expecting this.

we’re really calling this cameo by russo representation huh

lol

and like??? steve brings up nobody he lost in the snap, instead chosing to focus on “the love of his life” that he met and lost in 1945. this struck me as odd the first time i watched and now i’m like. man they’re really trying 2 justify their later decision, huh

so they’re calling those who were snapped “The Vanished” according to the sanfran memorial

avengers r still a thing and their complex has actually grown in size?? who is funding this. is it tony

my next note just says HAIR SDFDSDFG aka heLLO carol danvers

nat :((((

crying and eating a sandwich is a mood

god. the quiet grief

natasha romanoff has come such a long way from her introduction in iron man 2. she cries freely, loves her family, actively wants to be a better person, even if a lot of her family isn’t around today. i just- love her so much.

“we both need to get a life.” “you first.” goddamnit

i.... love happy, peaceful, good dad Tony Stark, so much.

“define lunch or be disintegrated” morgan h stark is so cute

“you like going in the garage, huh? so does daddy.” tony was already so proud of her god i just :((((

me, zooming in on nat: ARROW NECKLACE

does she only wear that when she’s missing clint, or

I’m truly in my feelings about Tony being The Best Dad

Bruce apparently spent 18 months in a gamma lab, which is interesting.

god the scene with the kids asking for a selfie was so cringe are you telling me they could include this but steve couldn’t mourn for his friends

tony does dishes now. a true housedad.

that’s!!!! his first son!!!!!! :((((((

can you believe it was peter parker who pushed tony to invent time travel

“i’ve got something on my mind.” “is it juice pops?” i’m just thinking now about how howard most definitely would have sent tony straight to bed, but tony lets morgan stay up and eat juice pops with him. this is just. straight up great content.  

“I love you 3000″ can you just. his face when she says that. also i’m never getting over that phrase ever

“I can stop,” Tony says, on the brink of inventing time travel.

“But would you be able to rest?” says Pepper, who has been trying and failing to get him to stop for a good 15 years.

the parallels between this and her last words to tony. ouch.

this is such a good and steady relationship now :(.

sdfgfdfg why is steve dressing like he’s from the 40s again is this a visual sign of his regression

god they did thor so dirty in this film. not with his character- him falling into great depression and having ptsd is not a bad thing, but treating it like a joke is. the audience is invited to laugh at him. Bad.

thor threatening “noobmaster69″ over the headset for his rock friend is very funny though.

hey tokyo looks alright compared to a lot of america.

every single clintasha scene in this film kills the man.

also everyone knows thanos’s name. i assume that means the world knows why everyone disappeared.

“you’re only a genius on earth” yeah but who invented time travel, rocket

rhodey wanting to straight up murder baby thanos is hilarious

the explanations of time travel in this film give me a headache

“TIME HEIST BRAINSTORMING SESSION”

bruce, nat and tony all laying around throwing ideas back and forth.... this movie is valid sometimes

“see you in a minute,” natasha says, and she’s smiling.

this is her family you guys :(((((

NEW YORK 2012

MY FAVOURITE SCENE

omg bruce making such a halfhearted attempt at smashing things please i love

okay cut to 2013 Asgard, and Thor sneaks right by his currently dead brother without even looking at him. this movie confuses me

fuck the scene where rocket slaps thor for having a panic attack. i’m glad thor ended up abandoning him.

okay so everything important happens between 2012-2014

cap/tony/scott, clintasha, nebula/rhodey.... these are such ideal teamups

“we’re a long way from budapest” give me my clintasha movie, marvel!!!

okay back in 2012, HOW did JARVIS not register the fact that there were two steves and two tonys in Stark Tower

god this entire scene is fucking hilarious the entire mcu was worth everything for the 2012 time travel scene

fuckign.... loki

ELEVATOR SCENE

as a cap 2 stan i feel so validated

HA IL HYDRA

WHEN I SAY I GASPED IN DELIGHT

CAP VS CAP

“I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY”

“YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW”

sadfgfdfg are u really telling me that cap takes the peggy locket everywhere

BUCKY IS ALIVE

THAT IS AMERICAS ASS SDFGFSDF PLEASE

2012 avengers best avengers

meanwhile the sorcerer lady is giving bruce a time travel lesson and i didn’t understand any of it but basically each reality requires six stones in order to not be torn apart by the forces of darkness? ??

I’m just glad thor got some kind of closure by talking to his mom

side note you can definitely tell that frigga raised loki

“EAT A SALAD”

“i’m still worthy” asdfgfdf yeah but now this timeline thor has no hammer!!!

QUILL SDFGFDSDFGHFDS

this movie is so entertaining

i live for nebula and rhodey just judging everyone

so do the guardians just.... not happen in the 2014 timeline?

gamora is ready to Fight thanos when the maw threatens nebula

was that young alexander pierce headed underground in 1970?

bone 2 pick with this whole time travel thing

thor got closure by talking to his mom

tony got closure by talking to his dad

steve saw peggy working, successful and thriving, through a window. closure where????

he should have gotten a chance to talk to her and received closure that way.

hank pym is an asshole but i guess we already knew that

“my wife is expecting” so tony was born 1970/1971 ig

howard’s dad beat him with a belt. i suppose every stark does a little better parenting-wise

Jarvis!!!!!!! agent carter is canon!!!!

vormir oh god here we go

“under different circumstances, this would be totally awesome” i’m inclined to agree with clint

this part goddamit

handholding :((((

my next note just says “aveng ers 1 paralels fu k”

the way this was filmed was beautiful. the colours, the lighting, the acting, the dialogue, the parallels to the first clintasha fight in avengers 1..... if natasha had to die, this was.... a good death, i think.

“damn you!”

“it’s okay.”

clint is begging her this hurts so much :(((

god. tears.

clint just sobbing in the water with the soul stone in his hand hits some kind of way

where is natasha’s funeral, huh??? why does steve shed like one (1) tear?

also why does the gauntlet need to physically be snapped like what does that dO

i just realized that thor’s fake eye is amber.

Infinity Stones:

almost killed thanos after 2 uses

destroyed bruce’s arm

killed tony

imagine an alternate scene where all six original avengers survived until this point and all of them held one stone as they snapped thanos’s army out of existence. that would have been the ultimate fanservice and i would have astral projected. anyway we’re getting off topic

“don’t change anything from the last five years.” what tony means is “please don’t erase my daughter”.

SNAP

yay they did it except-

how did everyone survive thanos blowing up the avengers compound

2014 gamora sounds just- slightly different than 2018 gamora. a little harsher. the guardians haven’t yet softened her edges.

“we become sisters” and suddenly gamora has hope

i- did that lightning just braid thor’s hair sdfgdsdfgh

this is a harsher thanos. thanos who died in 2018 had been changed. weakened, maybe.

thor, cap and tony fought in avengers one. now, they’re fighting thanos together.

l just. love that clint has a sword now.

“he won’t let me” nebula.... :(((((( and she dies crying

i have a note here that says “thor’s lightning + tony = c o o l”

STEVE WITH MJOLNIR

ASDFGFSDF FUCK THIS WAS WORTH EVERYTHING MARVEL HAS EVER PUT ME THROUGH

LIGHTNING POWERS

i LIVE

oooh it’s personal for thanos now

ON

YOUR

LEFT

the portals scene fUCK

this is just. worth it. on every level.

PETER AND TONY

“this is nice” please :((((((

poor peter quill gets snapped, gamora’s loss fresh in his mind, then he thinks he’s gotten her back and she’s not the gamora he knew. ouch.

tell me why everyone but steve gets a reunion scene lol

peter introducing himself to everyone!!!! he’s so sweet.

CAPTAIN MARVEL HAS ARRIVED

i’m gay. oh my god.

hhhhgn hair

GIRLS

this is fanservice!!! as in, i am a fan and i feel fuckign SERVICED

thor duel welding mjolnir and stormbreaker is AWESOME.

strange holds up one finger. tony gives a look of heartbreaking acceptance.

god. tony stark, you brave, brave man. he knew he wasn’t going to survive this one.

“I am inevitable.”

“I. am. Iron Man.”

SNAP (2)

you lose, thanos.

but also, i lose, because oh god tony.

peter :(((

“Mr Stark!”

“Sir!!”

“Tony!!”

oh. fuck.

“you can rest now” do you SEE the parallels to the earlier conversation between tony and pepper :(((

the arc reactor going out physically broke me

i didn’t take many notes after this because i was literally sobbing lol

“I love you 3000″ stabs me again

“proof that tony stark has a heart” yes well my heart is breaking

happy :((( is morgan’s jarvis :(((((

Queen!!!! Valkyrie!!!

this dick measuring contest between Quill and Thor got old five hours of content ago.

:))))) rage time :))))))

bruce tried to bring back nat with the snap :(((

oh god bucky.

his face!!!!! his voice!!!! he’s trying to be strong and find but he looks dead inside

i just- fuck. he knew and he let steve go.

why did he show up on that bench i don’t understand

“I’m happy for you” are you telling me sam wasn’t the least bit hurt or mad

the ONLY good thing about this is Captain Sam

fuck steve tho

what year is this dance in

i mean. it’s sweet. but this is not steve.

I think i’ve talked enough about my dislike of the direction steve’s character went in in this film. that was the major point of dislike for me, but given that the council has made a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it. i understand that both tony and steve had to make their exist from the franchise here, but.... there were better ways to go about that. 

i think a few different relationships slipped through the cracks here- characters suddenly grieving people they haven’t seen in /years/ and completely ignoring others who only recently died was a big one for me. but other characters saw a lot of development- nebula was a favourite of mine in this film, which i was not expecting! she and rhodey made a really good team- i feel like they understand one another. 

the Original Six all saw a decent amount of screen time, which i appreciated. nobody got left behind there. there were so many references to other films that i know i didn’t catch them all, but it really made this movie seem like a love letter to the fans. 

i want to make it clear that i actually loved most of this film. i think it was a good send off for the avengers and i love a good time travel plot (like, it’s one of my all-time favourite tropes. i was vibrating with excitement in the theater during the 2012 scenes.) i went in expecting a lot of the emotion to be sidelined in favor of plot and action, and while that happened a little bit, i was overall pleasantly surprised with the amount of emotion that they fit into this film. characterization and emotion is perhaps even more important to me than a good plot, and this film got the emotion down.

 it’s definitely not a perfect film but it could have been so much worse, so i’m grateful that we got a good sendoff for the avengers.

7/10. 

[samcarpnter]

my endgame thoughts (MAJOR SPOILERS)

Alright so I saw Endgame last night and I have had time to process my feelings about it so be ready for my rant, and again this includes MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS

I first want to say that I did really like the movie. After all of the spoilers got loose and people who hadn’t even seen the movie were just slandering it nonstop, I was really scared that I was gonna hate the entire thing. That definitely wasn’t the case. I hate a few of the decisions the Russo brothers made but overall I thought the movie was really good. It’s not going to be my favorite marvel movie, nor do I think it’s the best one, but I think it did have an overall good ending to the Infinity Saga, even if some of the character’s endings weren’t what I liked.

C A R O L. Fuck the Russo brothers for teasing her so much just for her to be in five minutes of it. I will say though, when she was in it, she was the goddess we knew from her own movie and she KICKED ASS. I’m looking forward to seeing her lead the rest of the next chapter of the MCU. And I am really shocked that we actually got Carol in her iconic pixie cut, definitely didn’t think the MCU was gonna give that to us.

I am LIVID at the Russo brothers for saying “oh yeah we have a gay character in the film whoohoo!” AND IT WAS FUCKING JOE RUSSO’S STUPID FACE TALKING ABOUT GOING ON A DATE WITH A MAN. OOH I’m mad, because number one that is QUEERBAITING because we thought it meant Carol but no the Russos don’t want us to have nice things.

Thor. My god that was awful. I knew about his awful hair but I did not know about the beer belly and his weight gain. That pisses me off so goddamn much. It wasn’t necessary, it really fucking wasn’t. There are many other ways they could have depicted his depression without that. As a plus size person, I was disgusted because everyone in the theater was dying of laughter just at the sight of Thor almost anytime he came on screen. He was there just to be a lazy source of humor because people love fat jokes. Obviously, there really isn’t plus size representation in the MCU and I am perfectly fine with that because I mean these are superheroes and aliens and literal gods, it makes sense that they aren’t, and sure there was a fat joke every once in a while but even I find the occasional one funny. When it is pretty much the biggest source of comedy for the movie minus Scott, that crosses a line. It really felt like the only reason Thor was there was to supply constant fat jokes, and honestly that’s just lazy writing on the Russo brother’s parts not that I expected much more let’s be honest

Nat’s death … I mean if you’ve followed me for a while I don’t think it’s a secret that I don’t like Scar Jo and I don’t like MCU Nat because the writers have screwed her over time and time again and then on top of that, Scar Jo just doesn’t … do anything ?? Like I do not see the appeal to her acting if that’s what you want to call it. Hell, I could probably do a better Nat. Honestly I’m pretty happy that they killed her off because that means Nat won’t have to be portrayed poorly anymore and I won’t have to see Scar Jo’s face for the rest of the movies, with the exception of maybe the Black Widow movie if that happens but it’ll probably be a prequel so I am all good with that. I am sad that any version of Natasha dies but I just don’t want to see one of my favorite characters get treated so badly anymore.

Nebula. I was really happy with how big of a part she played in this film, she has always been a favorite of mine and her development has just been amazing. Karen Gillan really did so well in this film and I’m happy she was given the chance to show how important of a character she is.

Where was Okoye ??? Why put her on the poster, why have Danai on this huge press tour, why do any of that if I saw her A TOTAL OF TWO MINUTES?!?! They just baited us the whole time ugh....

I was not a fan of Professor Hulk. I don’t know it was but I just ... it just felt like something was off about him the whole time, and I really hope that it’s the end for Hulk just because I don’t know if I could take that again.

Scott is a gem. Scott is perfect, no one hurt him, no one change him, he stays forever. 

The time travel plot wasn’t bad, I thought, it’s basically what we expected even without the spoilers. The little changes when they went back in time to get the stones were great, especially Loki. Like the Tesseract just appeared next to him and he said YEET and left.

The final battle was EPIC especially the moment when all the portals open and everyone appears oh my god that was magical, though I wish we got to see more reunions like Steve should have RAN to hug Bucky :( but Sam saying “on your left” to let him know they fixed the snap was incredible. And the Steve fucking WIELDING MJOLNIR !!! AMAZING. And that scene when all of the super ladies were helping Carol get the gauntlet to the van I mean GODDAMN that was breathtaking. Literally everyone in the theater was cheering and shouting during it which made it so much better too. And Pepper as Rescue, wow I’m so happy I was given that.

I was really happy that we got to see Gamora again, I mean seeing her kick Chris Pratt in the balls was one of the highlights of the movie for me. I hope that maybe they’ll find a way to bring her back but I’m a little hesitant because then that might mean Scar Jo would come back

Tony. As much as his death hurt me and as much as I love him and wish he didn’t die, I really do think that his death was the right way for him to go. We all know Tony, he could pull himself away for a while but he always went back to the fight, and he died to protect the family he found and that is the most Iron Man thing he could’ve done. And the fact that his last words were “I am Iron Man” ?? I mean come on that is how this whole thing started and we’re gonna end with that ?! Oof that was the most beautifully heartbreaking part of the movie. I love you x3000 Tony.

And now we get to the part that I’m most angry about … Steve Rogers. One of the best characters of the MCU (in my opinion) and the Russo brothers gave him That. I was seething when I saw it play out on screen, even though I had known it would happen from spoilers. There is no way, absolutely NO WAY Steve would have gone back and just lived a mundane life while KNOWING that Bucky was out there being brainwashed and tortured and he knew HYDRA was invading S.H.I.E.L.D the whole time, the place that Peggy, the person he went back for, built up and dedicated so much of herself to … and him leaving Bucky after Bucky had just gotten back to him? Nope, that is not the Steve Rogers that we have grown to love and I would rather he had died protecting those he loved than THAT. Yes, I think he deserves to be happy and Peggy is one of many sources of happiness for him, but he has so many more in the timeline he left behind that I just don’t see him risking all of that for Peggy. I really think this was the easiest way for Marvel to establish that Steve is heterosexual and that there is Nothing There with Bucky because they are cowards. And another thing, it just completely goes against literally everything Agent Carter was about. I love Peggy, and I always loved her with Steve, but she moved on and he needed too as well WITH BUCKY OR SAM OR TONY OR REALLY ANYONE ELSE. Agent Carter was basically all about Peggy proving herself to be more than just Captain America’s girlfriend, and Steve going back to disrupt all of that is just so wrong on so many levels. The only good thing that came out of this ending for Steve was that he gave Sam the shield, and I hope in the Falcon and Winter Soldier show we get to see Sam fulfill that role. I love Bucky (if you couldn’t tell from my URL) and I loved him as Cap in the comics and I would love to see him as Cap in the MCU, but I really think Sam should take the mantle from Steve, at least for right now just because Bucky is really still healing from his memories of HYDRA and everything that happened with Civil War, and my baby just needs to rest at least a little bit

I do like that Thor is partnering with the Guardians, I really think they will be a great new family for him. And we were fed well when he crowned Valkyrie the king of Asgard, which is what she deserves. It does worry me that maybe we won’t see her again unless there is another movie with Thor in it, but it’s not really confirmed if Hemsworth is done with the franchise, so if this was it for her, I’m glad she got that ending.

So I’m still pretty heated about Steve and Thor and the fucking Joe Russo queerbaiting cameo, but overall it was a really good movie, and I think a good ending for most of the characters. It was a crazy ride but I am very much looking forward to Far From Home and everything that is to come, I think we have a great lineup of superheroes to fulfill the next phase of the MCU. And also, the America’s ass line was the best thing that happened in the movie.

[amber474]

I love flawed characters (a.k.a. realistic and intriguing ones) and due to its under-representation, I particularly love flawed female-identifying characters. And somehow, even fandom shies away from this. Notice how even tags on AO3 say “[Female Character] is Awesome” + “[Female Character] is the Real Hero Here” vs “[Male Character] is a Mess”.+ “[Male Character] has a Heart”. The ratio’s quite interesting. I see this a lot in the MCU fandom and in fandoms where there are token, “perfect” POC female characters - they’re suddenly, but very superficially glorified.

I really don’t understand.

Give me more characters like Arya Stark, Daria, Liz Lemon, Amy Santiago, Brienne of Tarth, Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren, Rebecca Pearson, Valkyrie, Jessica Jones, Ahsoka Tano, etc. And fandom, please EXPLORE these 3D characters, or even add dimension to those that need it.

Mothers are not perfect simply because they are mothers. POC characters are not perfect for being POC -- and women should not be expected to be perfect, in general. That we solve “male problems”, that we’re the Team Moms, that we nurture best and always know the answers and can command a room with the click of our heels and the snap of our fingers. That we have to have fashion sense or sex appeal to be Queens. That we’re ‘sassy’ or ‘Total Bitches’ to be cool.

No, thank you. I’d rather have these characters lose their composure, admit that they’re wrong, look for help, have bad days, shout and get angry, have meltdowns, be told ‘with all due respect, you need to stfu’ by a dear friend’... this is all fine because it happens all the time.

Help make us as real as you make the men. If we can’t count on Hollywood to do it, maybe fandom can fix that as well.

some of the people who are like “i want more nuanced female characters” will literally see a female character with one (1) realistic flaw and then discourse about how she’s the devil 

[notajinn]

Thoughts on Avengers Endgame

I saw a movie on opening day for the first time. It's been about 24 hours and I want to jot down quick thoughts while I still have better memory of Avengers Endgame.

This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! If you don't want to be spoiled, turn away now.

A quick background to my lead up to this movie. I have always been into games, but I had limited experience with comics for most of my life outside of Sonic, Archie, and the occasional Donald Duck. I loved Batman and Spider-Man, but I didn't make the move to reading comics or really following their scenes beyond the mainstream movies and cartoons.

Which means I went into the MCU at first as someone with only a basic knowledge of comic worlds. Like most people, I was blown away by the first Iron Man. I wasn't invested enough to follow all the movies though, and didn't see another MCU movie until Avengers. I think this was the movie that really sparked my interest in the greater comic universe because it showed that Iron Man was not a one-off fluke, and it managed to balance a whole team of heroes better than many superhero films carried a single one.

The MCU has been with me from before I had much interest in comics, and this arc lasted to this point where I'm very invested in the genre (though more of that is attributed to Ms Marvel than the MCU). In that way, the fact that Endgame is such a celebration of the MCU makes it feel a lot heavier than it is as a film on its own.

That's probably the main takeaway from Endgame; it is extremely difficult to think of as a movie on its own as opposed to a anniversary special. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, however.

With that frame setting things up, here are various thoughts in no particular order I have about Endgame.

1.      Valkyrie continues to be amazing. I loved seeing her as a Pegasus Knight in the big fight scene, and the idea of making her the new King of Asgard is something I never expected, but really love.

2.     Because Loki wasn't killed by Thanos' snap, I assume this means he's still dead. So the Loki show is going to be about the alternate universe Loki who escaped with the Infinity Stone? Or a prequel featuring this universe Loki?

3.     It was really 50/50 to me whether Sam or Bucky would become Cap (though I was 100% on both Cap and Iron Man leaving). I feel like in the real world, Sam is a better idea for the sake of representation. In-universe however, I feel Bucky and Steve were far closer and it would have made more sense to pass the Captain title to him. Though there's the question of whether Bucky really wanted it. Was Steve just planning to give it to whichever of the two approached first? If not, how awkward would it have been for Bucky to go up first, ask about the shield, and Steve to then give it to Sam?

4.     I'm glad they mostly dropped the Bruce and Black Widow romance, because it felt really forced

5.     Black Widow was at her best here,  and I was surprised they killed off the original female member of the team. Also given she has a confirmed movie and Hawkeye has a confirmed show, real life knowledge did not really spoil which one lived during the Soul Stone encounter

6.     The fight between Black Widow and Hawkeye was arguably the best action sequence

7.      I feel like they had to forcibly make Thor a washed-up drunk just so we wouldn't immediately defeat no-stone Thanos in the final fight. Honestly it still felt crazy that Cap, Thor, and Iron Man together couldn't take down his non-stone form.

8.     Spider-Man got to use kill mode!

9.     So is half of Peter's school just 5 years older now? I assume that all the important characters will have conveniently been "snapped" so that they don't have to recast for future Spider-Man movies. Although I wouldn't mind this opportunity to have Cindy aged up for her own movie's sake. Especially since an older Cindy would have less of a chance of being put into an awful romance with teen Peter

10.  They could make a whole movie or even series about the people who lived through the Thanos Years trying to adapt to the world being restored. Because that must be a mess.

11.   I thought Carol's little flirting with Peter was kinda funny without being too much as a reference to their one-time relationship

12.   During the funeral scene, there seemed to be another white kid who looked like Peter according to friends I saw it with. I didn't see the second one, so they might just be crazy, but if there's not I wonder who it was

13.   I did not expect them to bring back Gamora though her past form. I'm really curious how this affect Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Will the plot be winning her back? Outside of losing the romance with Quill, how much character development will they say she regained off-screen between movies?

14.   Steve looked great doing Devil May Cry combos with Mjolnir and his shield

15.   This was Quill's first time back on Earth, wasn't it? If so, I would have loved one of the post-fight scenes actually giving that more weight. But instead he's already blasting off again. Maybe Guardians 3 will have a flashback about it

16.   I really wish Quill wasn't treated as such a big joke in these bigger team up movies. I get that he's a comedic character who is severely outclassed, but I'd still like him to get thrown a better bone. I would have loved to see him talk to some of the other humans while on Earth too

17.   I can't believe how quickly and cleanly they killed Thanos at the beginning. I especially love Thor using it as a chance to make up for his mistake

18.  That initial Thanos kill did a great job at subverting expectations, and honestly made me disoriented

19.   Carol was as strong as expected, but they didn't let her solo everything. That was probably the best way to deal with her without powering her down

20.  Nebula was way more important than I expected her to be, which I appreciated

21.   Did Nebula know the Soul Stone required a sacrifice? Is that why she sent Black Widow and Hawkeye? If not, what if that was where she and Sam went? Neither of their deaths would have led to a stone

22.  Steve was so good at using future knowledge to his advantage with his "hail Hydra" remark, and his "Bucky's alive" to past-Cap. I also generally can't believe they reference Hydra Cap given how awfully he was received

23.   Got really worried at the beginning that Hawkeye was going to call his daughter Kate to badly shoehorn Better Hawkeye into the MCU. She still has a chance to get in properly luckily

24.  I forgot Pepper ever got an Iron Man suit. Also I vaguely thought the actress didn't want to return for some reason

25.  I really didn't expect Jane to come back given the actress seems so indifferent to the MCU. If they do go the Jane-Thor route, here's hoping they cast a new actress

26.  If everyone has shrinking/time-travel suits now, does that mean they can all super-size as well? If so, Scott completely lost his gimmick. But then we have characters like Quill who have no powers or real fighting gimmicks, but are still great

27.  How did Thanos and crew so easily jump forward in time just because they had the Pym Particles?

28.  I would have loved to see the full scene of Carol rescuing Iron Man and Nebula instead of jumping forward

29.  Would similarly have loved to see even a flashback of how Bruce and Hulk got to their Professor Hulk state

30.  Fury didn't even help in the big fight. Not even just shooting one guy, or talking to Carol!

31.   After all these years, the music is still so incredibly average and forgettable. You could see the end credits trying SO hard with the main Avengers theme, but it's just so incredibly "okay"

32.  Loved the quiet way they handled the opening

That's all I have right now. Feel free to pipe in if you have points to make about any of my thoughts.

[jeanjauthor]

Thanos vs. Ia

Okay, here goes.

I’ve been meaning to do this one for a while, but couldn’t bring myself to do it right after Avengers: Infinity War came out. (”Too soon, Executus! Too soon!!” *ahem*)  But with End Game drawing near...I figured we’ve all had enough time to heal and recover and the aches have faded.

So.

Ia (General Ia, “Bloody Mary”, the Prophet of a Thousand Years, Halfbreed Feyori, Massive Precognitive, Incredibly Strong Psychic, etc, etc.)

vs.

Thanos (General, Mastermind, Scourge of Souls, He Who Ended Half Of Life In The Universe With A Snap, etc, etc.)

...

I’mma put this in a cut so as to spare sensitive, delicate souls the gory details of this particular little matchup.

Yeaaah...this is awkward, but I gotta say it anyway:

Ia would work with Thanos.

“WHAAAT??!!”

*insert finger in ear, wigglewiggle, wait ‘til you’re done screaming...wait wait wait...sigh...waaaaait...unflinch*

Okay. Hear me out:

If she ever somehow wound up in some variation on the MCU Avengers universe, Ia absolutely would track down Thanos and send him a message stating that she would like to assist him in his quest, that she brings some very formidable powers and incredibly useful information, and would like to have a chat with him in a nice safe neutral location.  (...And no, he doesn’t get to wipe out half her crew, because that would defeat the entire wanting to help him succeed thing.)

And then of course she’d go into exhaustive detail postcognitively to demonstrate her powers, as well as a touch of precognition, all of it pitched in the absolute best probability-guided ways to effect the meeting.

And then she’d meet with him.

And not kill him.

“WHAAAT??!!”

*more patient waiting, sighing, waaaaiting...mkay, continuing*

Ia would genuinely want to help him.  However, it’s how she would help him that is vital to understand.  So here’s how it would go.

Ia:  Thanos, I deeply appreciate your grasp of the fact that too many worlds are overpopulated due to the level of resources that they can acquire and have shared, so on and so forth.  I understand where you’re coming from, that it’s a love for people that makes you see that this ruthless thing needs to be done.

Thanos:  Thank you for the compliments.  Yet why do I sense a ‘but’ in all of this...?

Ia:  Because you can sense that what I am about to tell you is the truth.  Your chosen methodology is inefficient, and will prove to be highly ineffectual in the long run.

Thanos:  ...What?

Ia:  It’s inefficient, ineffectual, and futile at best.  You’re trying to randomly slaughter half of everyone.  Randomly.  Cut any population in half, and you’ll still have the exact same problems of too many people and too few resources just a couple generations down the road.

Thanos: Yes, but I warn these people to do better--

Ia:  --Yes, yes, I heard the propaganda speeches.  They’re good speeches, but they’re not good enough.

Thanos:  If you think you can write a better speech--

Ia:  NOPE.  Wrong solution.  You’re still thinking about the wrong solutions.  The problem is not population numbers, Thanos.  It is who survives, versus who dies.  Pay attention, okay?  If you have a box full of fifty white eggs and fifty brown eggs--so a total of one hundred eggs--and you know that some of the eggs can cause the disease salmonella, if you randomly assign half of those eggs to die and half to continue to exist...then you’re going to end up with roughly twenty-five white eggs and twenty-five brown eggs...right?

Thanos:  Of course.  Fewer eggs means--

Ia:  Yes, yes, I know, but see...if for some reason, the salmonella disease is only found in the white eggs...you’re still going to have people suffering from salmonella poisoning...see what I’m saying?  ...Thanos, your plan to randomly kill off half the population in the galaxy is delightfully egalitarian, and coming from a participatory representational democracy, I truly appreciate that egalitarianism...but it’s still going to leave the exact same problem as before.  It’s not the resources that are the problem.  It’s not the overpopulation, either.  A shortage of resources and an overpopulation crisis are not going to be fixed by killing off half the universe.

[Please note that this is the MCU version of Thanos, not the version from the comic books where he was also courting Death. Do not try to engage me in an argument based on the comic book version, thank you very much.*]

Thanos:  Then what, exactly, is the problem?  People aren’t eggs with salmonella lurking inside.

Ia:  It’s not a perfect analogy, no...but the vast majority of problems with lack of resources versus overpopulation lies in excessive consumption by some people versus deliberately withheld scarcity for others, coupled with an attitude of ‘not my monkeys, not my circus, not my problem.’  Killing off half the universe randomly does not stop the haves from using up things so that the have nots suffer.  Killing off half the universe randomly does not slow down the rates of overbreeding leading to overpopulation, leading to deeper destruction of the resources needed for life to coexist peacefully and abundantly but not wastefully.  What you need is specific targets taken out.  You need to find all the eggs with salmonella, remove them from the box, and then raise the chicks to understand that being a parent is a privilege that must not be paired with the self-righteous attitude that they can breed and overpopulate without any concern for the next generation suffering the consequences.

Thanos:  ...Even with all of the Infinity Stones at my command, discerning and then targetting the exact individuals to remove would take me an eternity.  Why should I waste so much time trying to do that, when I can terrify everyone into compliance with a simple snap of my fingers, once all of the Stones are mine?

Ia:  Well, that’s why you need my help. I am capable of discerning and instilling that knowledge into a joint use of the Infinity Gauntlet, and I can have all the correct targets picked out by the time you get all of the Infinity Stones...which I know exactly when and where that will happen.

Thanos:  And how could you possibly know that?  I don’t see the Eye of Agamotto around your neck!

Ia:  I don’t need the Eye of Agamotto to command all the possible probabilities of Time. *grabs Thanos & drags him onto the timeplains, lovely little tour, and one very lengthy (on the timeplains) Q&A session later...*  ...See what I mean?  I can link all of that to you.  The end result will be a galaxy of people who manage their societies so that there will always be enough for everyone.

Thanos:  ...With this power...you could find the way to defeat me.  How do I know what you say is true?

Ia:  Because I, too, have slaughtered billions and trillions, in the effort to save my home galaxy from destruction...and it’s pissing me off that your plan is so blindly, stupidly ineffcient.  Now, we can work together, or I can just go gather up all the Infinity Stones on my own and do it myself.  But I’d rather help you, one weary, blood-soaked general to another, to get it done right.  You have more resources than I do in this universe...and I’m not quite sure what damage I will do to the Time Stone if I try to wield it directly.  I really do not want to piss off Nemesis if I break it through direct use.

Thanos:  ...If you know what Nemesis is...  You have convinced me.  Provisionally.

Ia:  Good.  I’ll leave you to get on with your work, and check in with you from time to time to set up a link to the correct knowledge-timestream-thread.  I’ll key it to trigger with the words “You should have aimed for my head.”

Thanos:  ...Excuse me?

Ia:  If you know anything about precognition, prophecy, and foretelling the future, then you know I can’t tell you too much, or it could veer everything wildly off course.  I’ll check in with you in about a week.

.A little while later, in Wakanda...:  *Snap*  ...Roughly 20% of all the people around them start disintegrating.  Thanos looks around in confusion.

Thanos:  This wasn’t half.  The people of this world are still suffering heavily scarcity--

Ia:  Nnnnope!  The people of Wakanda don’t suffer much from scarcity, because their leadership believes in sharing their prosperity at all levels of their society, and they are careful in how they manage their homeland’s natural resources, using up so much and no more.  Actually...the sheer numbers of people who have vanished from the face of this planet is maybe ten-ish percent?

Thanos:  Only ten percent??

Ia:  Yep.  Turns out that less that 2% of this planet’s population have hoarded about 90% of its resources, forcing people to pay exorbitant prices, refusing to pay them the actual value of their labor, denying social services, cutting funding for various programs that could end the suffering of billions worldwide...  Things like universal healthcare coverage, basic income, food for everyone--literally, the bastard oligarchs of Earth have been hoarding so much that they bribe governments to force farmers to let food rot in the fields, rather than use their money to ship it worldwide to feed everyone...and they suppress virtually all technological advances that could either prevent or completely and swiftly clean up all the pollution of the world cause by their corporations simply because it would cost them money...careful, that whole warship up there is dissolving, that’s gonna leave some nasty-flavored dust in the air for a while...

Thanos:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY STARSHIP??

Ia:  Well, if you’ll turn your attention to the missing among the fighters out there... you’ll note that the vast majority of those who vanished are your own forces...because war uses up far too many resources.  In fact, warfare is second only to obscene levels of oligarchic greed when it comes to using up resources out of all proportion to the needs of a population.  So by co-opting your ‘snap’ with the most efficient removal of the most wasteful or hoarding elements in every single society out there...I have destroyed everyone who currently loves war, and loves profiting from war...which is the only reason why Tony Stark is still alive, but he’s manage--

Thanos:  STARK IS STILL ALIVE?!

Ia:  Yep.  He managed to learn the lesson of don’t make weapons of war, fight only to defend...or avenge...and share the wealth.  He’s becoming quite the philanthropist, and I only see that improving as time goes on...because I took the near future and the middle future and the far future all into consideration.  Oh, and one more thing, Thanos, before you go...

Thanos:  --How can I leave? I don’t have a ship, and the Gauntlet is scorched useless!!

Ia:  Yeah, about that...  It turns out you’re the worst plague of wasted resources and overpopulation problems in this entire galaxy, Thanos.  Because you were an asteroid-sized idiot who should’ve focused on wiping out corrupt governments, encouraging basic income, food, healthcare, and encouraged sound ecological practices alongside high incentives and bonuses for undertaking voluntary birth control measures, family planning, all of that.  ...And I’ll take that now, thank you.

*accepts the scorched and battered Gauntlet as Thanos’ hand and arm dissolve* 

Ia:  Right then...Space Stone extracted...and... Hi, Tony! You don’t know me, but do try to believe me that you need to step up the philanthropy.  Extremely wealthy people who don’t give back generously will continue to drop dead for the next, oh...I dunno, generation or so, twenty, thirty years, maybe a little more...

Thanos:  You...what?

Ia: *eyes the half-dissolved purple alien general*  Yeah, turns out you can’t just snap your fingers and change people instantaneously.  You have to get them to understand...which will take decades, with repeated examples...that being selfish wasteful greedy hoarding hateful powermad assholes, is no longer wise.  No matter how finely crafted your army’s little speeches where when you rounded up people and slaughtered them, it was just one application of said speech.  The next generations wouldn’t feel the same impact, and have little incentive to change in the weight of centuries’ worth of cultural attitudes weighing down around them, demanding they return to the same old ways.  You see, Thanos...just like Tony Stark, here, some people can change their ways.  Unfortunately...you were going to try to grab this and undo all my work, because you won’t agree with me removing your army...so I had to snap you out of existence, too.

Thanos:  You bi...  *dissolve, flutter, vanish...*

Stark:  Uh...what just happened, and thanks for killing him, but why shouldn’t I kill you?

Ia:  I just ended the misery and suffering caused by oligarchic greed, corruption in government, hoarding of resources, rampant warfare for the stupidity of conquest and glory, and every single person in a position of power who refuses and will continue to refuse to correct all of the damage all of these things have done to their worlds.  In other words, gentlemen...nice to meet you, too, Peter...I have just ensured that the meek shall inherit the Earth.  *hefts Gauntlet*  And now I have to separate out these stones and make sure most of them get sent to where they need to go, to prevent the next awful crisis for this universe...  Let’s see. Vision will be needed so I’ll have to put back the Mind Stone and put a few protections on it...Wanda will need to stick around to keep an eye on that, plus I’m a sucker for romance...

Stark:  Ah...  Okay...

Ia:  Strange will need the Eye...buit nobody needs to find the Soul Stone or the Reality Stone for a long, long time...Power Stone will have to go where it’s needed, and the Space Stone will get it all there...and... *sticks her hand in the glove and after a second or so of glowy lightshow unlike Thor’s usual stuff as she absorbs a bunch of power...the Stones vanish from the Gauntlet...which dissolves like Thanos did*  Tell Thor his buddies on Nidavellir are back in business, but the plans to rebuild another Gauntlet have been altered in their memories just enough that they won’t be able to recreate it for a while.  Also...sorry, but among the many trillions across the universe that I brought back to life...I also brought back Loki.

Stark:  You WHAT?!

Ia:  *blithe shrug*  What can I say?  The universe needs tricksters from time to time.  Plus he and his brother are comedic gold.  And yes, I restored Asgard, and all the nice people of Asgard, though I did ditch Hela. She was way too Thanos-like for the post-Thanos world he needed to create.

Stark:  But, Loki??

Parker:  The Loki?

Ia:  Stark, I will remind you that he, just like you, can learn to be a better person.  He might find himself partially dissolving from time to time, though...so feel free to livestream it whenever you two cross paths.  With that said, I must be off.  Have a nice day, and manage the world better.  You got thirty or so years before the Snap stops having an effect...but you have only five years to fix Earth’s climate...and if you fail, it won’t be the snap that kills off half of humanity. It’ll be yourselves, killing all of humanity.  Have fun cleaning up the battlefield!

*turns into a Feyori mirror-bubble and flies away*

...

...And that is how Ia would help Thanos.  Because he’s a frikkin idiot who can’t think his way out of a closed paper bag, other than to set it on fire and burn half of it away, when it’s the staples holding the bag shut at the mouth that needed to be removed.

[mythical-fangirls]

Finally finished season 3 of Avengers Assemble! Loved it, the story really felt more focused than in the previous two!

Some things I want to mention

it’s interesting how much focus the Hulk got this season, with the inhuman arc, tail end of the season with Truman, and Dehulked. I love how much character they gave the Hulk and Bruce Banner. Since the only medium I know of Marvel is the MCU. It’s so interesting for me to see so much development from the Hulk and Bruce. How the Hulk is different from Bruce yet not.

I liked the mini-arch with the Thunderbolts and their eventual redemption via Clint.

It was nicely planned for Dehulked to come before the Inhuman’s introduction to the series. Since a lot of the things Hulk says or does after and during the Inhuman’s introduction is important. How all parts of a person are important, not just the powers or abilities or history alone. But all of it. All parts of them.

Loved Kamala so much. She’s so important for representation as a person of color, as a female, and as a teenager. I love her because of her loveable personality. She’s a fangirl, she’s a dork, and she’s honestly someone I would 98% act like in the face of the Avengers. (Fangirling over your idols? Same)

I really like how Dante and Kamala act during The Kids Are Alright. It’s so relatable. Knowing a weird amount of information about the tower? tbh I would too. Having weirdly specific conversations about Tony Stark’s sleeping habits? Same. Wondering what the heck is in Avenger’s basement and speculating what’s down their? Mood. The two just acting like kids being excited around their heroes is how they should act. They’re just kids who get to explore the living quarters of their idols and heroes. Who wouldn’t freak out a bit? #SpiritAnimals

It’s quite interesting how important and deep the relationship (romantic or not (preferably not)) between the Hulk and Black Widow is. They understand what it’s like to not be given the choice (Red Room and Gamma Mutation) or to be seen as a monster (Highly trained murder assassin since childhood and rage monster). How they do their relationship in this series is so much better than what they did in Age Of Ultron (the movie), it's not out of nowhere and not built of off poorly made ground. It’s built on a mutual understanding of the other’s history and not judging them on it.

The introduction of Vision, Captain Marvel, and Black Panther have varying levels of entertaining for me. Vision’s intro was not really interesting for me, since Vision felt to have less personality to me than his MCU counterpart. While T’Challa wasn’t as explored as I would have hoped for. While Carol. Well

Captain Marvel left quite an impression, so to say. Since in the MCU fandom she seems to be this light of hope to fix Thanos’ Snap. So I expected her to be someone more calm and collected, a more of a stoic/calm leader type. But nope, she’s full of energy (literally) and character. How she’s more impulsive and less team oriented since she’s air force, she has her own plane and thus fights mostly alone. Compared to army Steve, who has to fight with a team at all times on the ground.

Now, Captain Marvel and Captain America. I low-key ship them for some reason. There’s just this level of tension between them in Carol’s introduction episode. Her sort of arrogant joking flare to Steve’s modest and calm nature. Kinda like Steve and Tony. Like those two, the Captains have their similarities both have worked for the arm and know their strategy, albeit in different forms due to their section of the military.

Cute how Carol calls Steve, “Army,” and how Steve calls her, “Air force”

The House Of Zemo is an interesting episode, that I have a lot fo say about

The team throwing Steve a birthday party

Clint getting Steve the missing photo of his dad (even though that creates the very paradox as to why Clint needed to give Steve the photo in the first place)

Pre-Serum Steve and his trusty trash can lid

Present day Zemo having a change of heart because #DaddyIssues

Steve knowing Tony is the main person he knows to fix the time machine and get the others back (shipshipship)

Steve’s Hulkbuster armor arriving first and having a larger gap between the other’s armor in World War Hulk

Now for my opinion on the Civil War 4 parter.

I did not expect Truman to be Ultron, like I was expecting him to be a part of Ultron’s plan when it became really obvious. But I couldn’t figure out how he would fit into it.

Inferno’s anger, loss of control, and reaction is quite understandable. He’s a kid who still recently just got these powers, and he feels responsible for the damage he did. But he’s just a kid.

The four part finale for this season is a doozy, it has so many characters and it connects so many of the plot lines from the whole season (except the Zemo one which technically connected to Songbird’s arc)

Okay, now part 2 to 4 will be very dense due to the amount of important character moments I loved

The sort of debate and the heat between both Captains of the opposing Avengers teams.

How concerned Carol was about Steve after he got hit.

How Tony did not care that they were getting captured, only caring that as long as Cap got medical attention it didn’t matter, even though they could’ve escaped with Nat and Cap would have still gotten the medical attention he needed.

Carol being the first (I think) to call Cap “Steve” (Bucky probably called him Steve and maybe Nat did at some point)

Steve and Carol called each other multiple names throughout this arc (Captain Danvers, Captain Rogers, Steve, Carol)

The fact that the two Captains only fought each other during the whole fight, and stayed in roughly the same location and not straying off. Like Thor fought Vision and Songbird. Tony fought T’Challa, Ant-Man, and Songbird. T’Challa fighting both Stark and Romanoff.

Everyone stopped fighting the moment Steve got injured, like a moment didn’t even pass till they were all at his side

The fact that the team’s main priority after getting out is Steve. Them protecting Steve when the guards come in to get them.

Steve letting Sam use his shield!!

Steve’s comment about how he always tells the truth

The fact that the Mighty Avengers quit because young Kamala was also forced to register despite already working for the government.

Love how Carol knew that Kamala was a tough girl and could take a hit, when even Red Hulk commented that Kamala’s just a kid.

Carol knowing that Kamala writes fanfiction

Carol knowing that Kamala writes Captain Marvel fanfiction

Kamala writes fanfiction!!

Almost all the episodes of this season having some sort of connection to this whole finale. Songbird’s intro, development, history and redemption. Red Hulk, Vision, and T’Challa’s history and previous plot points from their episodes coming into play. Captain Marvel’s introduction, and history with some characters and Captain America coming into play.

Teamwork

Steve and Tony.

Steve and Tony’s goodbye to each other. Being his best friend since ever. Being a better person because he’s your friend.

And did I mention? Tony 100% willing to comply with being arrested just so Steve could get medical attention

I had to remake this post a second time because my laptop is a lil brat