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scriptura-adrepticius · 6 years

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Holidays - 9P

Hello, hello! I don’t know how many people even still care about this blog but @hyukcieee, here’s your Christmas present from the npn secret santa! It’s still Christmas where I live so I hope it isn’t too late?? I was going to post it like last week but everything picked up like two weeks before so I had 0 time to write, sorry :/

You said it didn’t matter which member it was for so I wrote a short drabble for each 9p member based on a prompt off of the npn winter prompt challenge :) I hope you like them!

I hope everyone who reads this is having a great day and happy holidays to you all!

Pairing: Nine Percent x reader

Genre: fluff, nonspecific!au

Word Count: 5.4k

Holidays with Nine Percent are certainly holidays that you will never forget.

Masterlist

beautiful group of people, i will love them forever

Someone decided to put mistletoe all over the school as a sick sort of joke, and you’ve just been shoved under a clump of the stuff by your conniving “friends.” Who are you supposed to kiss, you might ask? Well, your friends are eyeing a certain someone walking down the hall…

- - -

“So anyway, he -” You stop short, glowering at your friends as they immediately look away from each other, looking suspiciously innocent. “Alright, that’s it, what’s wrong with you all?” you snap. “You’ve been like this for the past two days!”

“Like what?” Dinghao asks a little too innocently.

“Yeah, I wasn’t aware that we were acting differently at all,” Huafei chimes in.

You huff, trying to formulate your jumbled thoughts into words. “You don’t pay attention to me when I talk, you’re always whispering with Linkai and his little gang, you keep giving me those strange looks - how can you say you’re not acting differently?!”

There’s a beat of silence.

Then someone grabs your arms and holds them hostage behind your back.

“What the fuck?” you snap, violently twisting. “Let me go, dumbass!”

“Uh-uh-uh,” Dinghao sings, looking very, very gleeful. Next to him, Huafei and Ruotian stifle giggles, while you struggle even harder. “What the hell is going on!” you yell, attracting quite a lot of attention.

Jingzuo looks upwards, smirking, and you follow his gaze, eyes widening in horror as you take in the small plant that hangs from the ceiling.

“Oh hell no,” you mutter, shaking your head wildly. “No, no, no, no, no! Gao Maotong, get your stupid hands off of me, or so help me I’ll -”

Then someone slams into you and Maotong releases your arms, allowing you to collapse in a heap on the floor. Disgruntled and feeling extremely murderous, you grit your teeth and look up, ready to chew your friends out.

Instead, you see an outstretched hand. Your eyes travel upwards, taking in dark clothes, a leather jacket, and then…

Oh my god.

You meet eyes with your crush of two years, Wang Ziyi.

It takes a couple of seconds to force yourself to calm down, and though you want nothing more than to run away screaming, you accept his hand, allowing him to help pull you up. You try really hard to look at his face, but it’s so hard - the whole situation is just so absurd. You drop his hand as soon as you can.

“Sorry,” he says in that low voice of his, giving you that soft smile that never fails to turn you into an absolute train wreck. “My friends pushed me.” He shrugs apologetically.

“I - uh, it’s fine,” you say quickly, willing the growing heat to leave your face. “I’ve gotta go, but -”

“You have nowhere to go!” Huafei snaps. “Don’t lie to Ziyi!”

If your face wasn’t red before, now it is. You shoot her a furious glare.

What in the world are you doing?! you scream internally, hoping she gets the message.

“Y/N?” Ziyi’s voice snaps your attention back to him. “I… I think I know why they put us here.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, cursing each and every single one of your so-called friends. “Yeah,” you reply, your voice tight. “Sorry. My friends are stupid. I - it’s cool if you, uh, if you don’t want to, I totally get it, I wouldn’t want to kiss me either, sorry about everything, this is all a mess, I swear I had no part in planning this -”

“Hey, hey, hold up,” Ziyi says, taking your hand again. You flinch at the suddenness of his gesture but otherwise manage to remain neutral.

His next words, however, have you shell-shocked.

“Who said I didn’t want to kiss you?”

Total silence.

“Sorry?”

His stupid, gentle smile is on his lips again and you can’t think at all. “I asked who said I didn’t want to kiss you.”

“I - I thought - I thought we were just friends?” you squeak. “I, uh, since when…” You let out a little huff. “What the hell?”

Ziyi’s little laugh is even more addicting than his smile. He leans in a little closer, and you can feel his breath puffing slightly on your face.

“You wouldn’t mind, would you, if I kissed you now?” he asks, ignoring the gasps and hoots of the crowd watching.

“For tradition or because you like me?” you manage to spit out.

A shy blush flits across Ziyi’s cheeks and you almost melt. “Because I like you.”

The smile that overtakes your lips is shaky but genuine and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. “Then, no, I wouldn’t mind,” you reply.

His lips press against yours, and your mind goes blank. You can register only the feeling of his lips on yours, his fingers clutching your hands, his hair tickling your cheek. You cannot hear the cheers of your friends, the squeals of the crowd, the claps of the audience. It’s like Ziyi is your entire world.

When he pulls away, cheeks flushed red, you seize on your temporary insanity and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close again.

“Remind me to kill my friends later,” you murmur, and you just hear the beginnings of his gentle laugh before you press another kiss to his lips.

. . . . .

Why did your best friend decide to put mistletoe all over the school as a joke? You don’t know. Why did you go along with it? You don’t know. All you know is that you didn’t expect to accidentally stumble under a bunch of it with said best friend. It isn’t just the cold that’s turning your cheeks red, now.

- - -

“How did this happen?” you ask, not looking at your best friend for fear of him seeing your blush. “Why are we so fucking dumb?”

Linkai snorts. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not dumb.”

“Oh yeah? Then who was the one that first walked under the mistletoe?” you snap.

“And who was the one that didn’t realize and walked under after me?” he retorts.

You cross your arms. “Fine,” you groan. “So are you going to kiss me? Or are we just going to walk away and pretend this didn’t happen?”

On one hand, you want him to agree to the second so your feelings for him stay hidden forever. On the other hand, you want him to agree to the first so you can fulfill one of your dreams.

“Tradition is tradition,” Linkai mutters, refusing to look at your face. You can see the pink tinting his cheeks though and for the first time, you think your feelings might be returned.

“Since when have you been a traditional kid?” you push, forcing him to look up. “Never. So how come you’re relying on tradition now?”

The tiny smirk he throws you gives you a heart attack. “Because… maybe I like you?”

You blink once. Then twice.

“Only ‘maybe?’”

A real blush spreads across Linkai’s face and you can see how much effort it’s taking for him to look into your eyes. Understandable, because you want nothing more than to duck and run away into the crowd that’s forming as well.

“Fine. I definitely like you,” he mumbles, ruffling his hair.

You smile a little. “Good, because I like you too.”

Amidst cheers and hoots, you press a short kiss to his lips, leaving the usually confident boy speechless. Then, suddenly, he regains his confidence and pull you to him for a deeper kiss.

Most of the time, Linkai’s mischief gets him into trouble. At least this time, something good came of it.

You smile into his lips.

. . . . .

Holiday season means holiday shopping, no? You hate shopping, but when you come face to face with that cute sales guy you’ve had a crush on for a long time… well, maybe your sentiments will change now that you’ve seen him decked out in holiday gear, looking stupidly, absolutely adorable.

- - -

The bus is full of people, and you curse your stupid, procrastinating self for leaving Christmas shopping for the last minute.

Christmas shopping is a bore.

With a tired sigh, you squeeze onto a seat. You can practically smell the sweat and heat radiating off of the people and you crinkle your nose up with another sigh.

Then, your brain decides it’s the best time to cut in with a stupid thought.

Hey, shopping isn’t that bad. You might get to see that cute sales guy!

You really hope no one sees the blush crawling up your cheeks. If anything, hopefully they’ll think it’s the residual cold.

Cai Xukun is literally the cutest guy you have ever met. He is drop dead gorgeous but down to earth and mellow at the same time. His smile is blinding, his eyes are sweet, his laugh is beautiful… there is literally nothing not to love about the boy.

“And here I am, thinking like a lovestruck thirteen year old,” you mutter, making room for another person as they squeeze by. The bus rattles and belches a cloud of smoke, then rattles away.

You sigh.

It’s going to be a long day even if I do get to see Xukun.

- - -

Ten stores later, you’ve found almost all of your gifts. Your wallet is about to start sobbing, your feet are about to start screaming, and you are about to sag into a tired puddle on the floor.

“One more to go,” you mumble, looking with trepidation at the fancy storefront.

Nine Percent. Your best friend’s favorite clothing store. They have some of the most outrageous items but at least the prices are fair.

Also the place where - guess who - Cai Xukun works.

You drag your sorry self into the store.

“Hello, welcome! Can I help you today?” a cheery-faced boy with a bright smile asks chirpily the second you walk inside.

It’s not Xukun. You hope the disappointment doesn’t show on your face as you give him a slight smile. “No thanks,” you reply. “Just looking.”

“Christmas shopping?” he asks, looking sympathetic. You allow a sardonic smile to show itself before nodding. “Yeah.”

“Shit, sorry,” he laughs. “But let me know if you need any help!”

“I will, thanks.”

The store is huge, but it doesn’t take much effort to find the section your friend loves since you’ve been here so many times. You drop your bags, rubbing your aching hands, before perusing the racks. Minutes later, you’ve found something, and after checking the size you back to the front of the store to pay.

Then your brain short circuits, because your stupid crush is manning the counter. He’s got a stupid little Santa hat on with a stupid green woolen sweater, and he looks like… boyfriend material. There is no other way to put it.

Suddenly, you care a little too much about the knots in your hair, the bags under your eyes that you haven’t bothered to cover up, your oversized hoodie that now seems too casual for this. You want to at least pat down your hair, but then you’d probably knock your bags everywhere, and you don’t want to look stupider than you already do. So you steel yourself and walk up to the counter.

“Hi!” Xukun says with his bright smile. Your heart thumps. “Ready to pay?”

You nod. “Yeah,” you say quickly, pushing the clothing over.

There’s silence as he rings up the items and places them into a bag. You jab your card into the machine and look down determinedly because you are absolutely sure your cheeks are bright red.

“Are you okay? Your face is really red.”

Fuck.

“I’m fine.” You give him an awkward smile. “It’s just… the cold outside.”

The little smirk he gives you as he hands the bag over gives you a heart attack. “I see. Well, have a nice day! Happy holidays!”

What the fuck does that smirk mean?

“Thanks, you too!” you squeak before bolting out of the store.

Outside, the cold air cools your cheeks and after trudging a few streets, you sit down at the bus stop. With a sigh of relief as the pressure is taken off of your aching feet, you take out the receipt from your latest bag to stuff inside your wallet.

What’s on the receipt nearly gives you a second heart attack.

Hey, one of my friends told me you think I’m cute. Well, I think you’re cute too. Here’s my number, text me sometime, alright?

XXX-XXX-XXXX

A strangled sort of screech leaves your throat, causing more than a few concerned looks to be thrown your way, but you’re too busy staring at the receipt to care.

Once you’re settled on the bus, you take out your phone with trembling fingers and input the number. After agonizing over the text for several minutes, you settle for “Hey, you gave me your number on my receipt. Are you sure it wasn’t a mistake?”

One minute passes, then two, then three.

Read.

Typing…

No mistakes were made. I’m Xukun, but I’m sure you know that.

I hope you are Y/N?

You’re almost hyperventilating.

Yeah, I am.

He responds quickly.

Great. Want to go out for coffee sometime? My treat!

It takes all your effort not to scream out loud, but as you type out your answer with a smile on your face, you can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Christmas shopping isn’t so bad.

. . . . .

You’ve always wanted to be kissed in the rain, thinking that it’s the ultimate romantic gesture. Well, there isn’t any rain, but maybe snow will do.

- - -

“Why do you love rain?” Linong asks, shivering in the cold. He’s wearing a huge coat and has a scarf wrapped around his neck, while you only have a warm sweater. “Rain is so… cold.”

“But what about when the sun is out while it’s raining? Then it’s warm rain, and it’s like… fun! You can jump around in the rain!” You grin, whirling around with your arms out. “Plus, you’re so tall and fit. How come you’re still cold? It’s just a little snow!”

Linong shrugs, burrowing further into his scarf. “It’s still snow,” he mumbles.

Rolling your eyes, you grab his hand. “Warmer?”

You can see the blush on his cheeks despite his efforts to hide it. “Come on, we’ve been dating for nearly six months, Nong!”

The kiss you press on his cheek seems to increase the blush. “Warm now? That’s what your face is telling me.”

“Stop teasing,” Linong complains.

“What if I don’t want to?” You smile teasingly, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

“So you want to continue teasing? How about I ask you about your fantasy of being kissed in the rain?” Linong tosses back, finally pulling his face out of his scarf.

Suddenly, your face feels warm. Much warmer than before. “How - how do you know about that?” you squeak.

“You shouldn’t leave scribbles in the margins of your chemistry notebook,” he smirks.

Noted.

“Dammit,” you mutter. You can’t even be mad because you were the one who lent the notebook to him.

“I mean, I could help you with that,” Linong mumbles, looking away. His face is red again.

You look up at the sky, almost getting a face full of snow. “There’s no rain…?”

“Snow’s suitable though, right? Until we actually get some rain?” Linong asks, looking adorably awkward. You blush too, but you also place your other hand in his.

“Of course it is,” you say, leaning up.

The falling snow swirls around your faces, resting on your hair, his scarf, and both yours and his cheeks as Linong presses his lips to yours in one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever shared.

. . . . .

Baking cookies? Not such a good idea when your friends decide to come over and wreak havoc in the kitchen.

- - -

When you suggested baking cookies with Justin, you didn’t expect him to be this much of a mess.

“Even Linkai can follow directions!” you scold, taking the dough out of Justin’s hand. “And stop eating it, you could get sick!”

“But then I’d have you to nurse me back to health,” Justin points out.

“You’re learning too much from Lin Yanjun!” you snap, whirling around with the bowl. Your boyfriend just snakes an arm around your waist as he licks another bit of dough off of his finger.

“Huang Minghao!” you yell, snatching the bowl away from him. “Stop eating the dough or there will be no cookies for you!”

His eyes widen in mock terror and he backs away, raising his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay!”

You sigh. “Didn’t you bet Zhengting that if you could get through a baking session without breaking anything, you’d choose what he had to wear on his next date?”

Justin nods eagerly, and you have to stop your heart from melting at the sight of the sparkle in his eyes. “Yeah! I’m going to make him wear that stupid gag gift Chengcheng sent me.”

“Jesus,” you say, spreading the dough out. “What did he ever do to you? No one should have to wear a sweater that ugly.”

Your boyfriend just shrugs.

“I’m dating an evil idiot,” you mutter, taking out the cookie cutters. “Here. Let’s cut the dough, and then after the cookies are baked we can decorate them, alright?”

“The best part!” Justin cheers.

“You better not eat all of the frosting,” you warn. “The cookies are already enough sugar for you!”

He sticks out his tongue. “No amount of sugar is enough sugar for Justin!”

“If you keep saying stupid stuff, I’m going to kiss you to shut you up.”

“Then I guess I better keep saying stupid stuff -”

Justin’s lips taste like cookie dough. As much as you hate to say it, the sweet flavor is appealing.

“Stop with the stupidity, Justin,” you say when you break away, leaving the boy somewhat shell-shocked and red-faced. “Now help me clear up. Don’t break anything, or else Zhengting’s going to make you wear that sweater to the Yuehua party!”

You eventually clean everything and get the cookies decorated without Justin breaking anything, but not before he sneaks in about a half dozen more kisses.

. . . . .

Your neighbor just walked out wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater you’ve ever seen. You think your eyes are bleeding, but somehow, he still looks… kind of cute.

- - -

“So, Zhengting,” you say amiably, hoping your eyes aren’t too wide with horror, “why are you wearing what you are wearing?”

Justin cackles from inside the apartment and you stifle a smirk. “Was it Justin’s fault?”

Zhengting sighs, eyes narrowed with disdain and helplessness. “Yeah,” he grumbles. “Lost a bet, so now I have to wear this shitty sweater Chengcheng sent him.”

“I hope Chengcheng got that as a gag gift, and not as a real gift,” you say, looking Zhengting up and down. “Ooookay, that’s it, that’s enough, my eyes are bleeding. I can’t look at you anymore. Take that thing off!”

“He’s not allowed!” Justin yells.

“You better let him change, Huang Minghao, or so help me I’ll return every single one of your Christmas gifts this year!” you yell back. “We can’t go on a date like this!”

“Yes you can!”

Zhengting sighs. “Let the kid have his fun,” he says resignedly, giving you a half smile. “It’s almost Christmas.”

“What happened to my strict boyfriend who didn’t put up with shit from Justin?” you gasp in mock surprise.

“He disappeared. Now let’s go out,” he says, taking your hand. “Before Justin thinks of something even worse for you to wear.”

You snort. “He wouldn’t dare. Also, why is this sweater so scratchy?”

“Fan Chengcheng is the worst.” Zhengting shrugs.

“Well, it if helps, you still look kinda cute.” You give your boyfriend a wide smile. He just laughs.

“You look kinda cute too, I guess.”

. . . . .

Every year, you and your neighbor compete over who has the best Christmas decorations outside your house. It isn’t friendly competition. Last year, the kids were flocking over to your neighbor’s house, oohing and aahing over their sparkly lights, and this year, you’re determined not to lose.

- - -

“My decorations are better than yours this year,” you say smugly, watching the kids on your street stand transfixed by the sparkling lights.

Zhangjing huffs. “As if,” he mutters, looking salty.

“It’s the truth, Zhangjing.” You grin. “You just don’t want to admit it.”

Sweet, sweet victory. After two years of losing to your insufferable neighbor over your informal Christmas decoration competition… well, all you can say is victory is sweet.

The red and green lights illuminate Zhangjing’s sulky face and you have the sudden urge to pat his head like you would a small, whiny toddler. “Don’t be so sulky,” you coo.

“I’m not sulky!” Zhangjing snaps.

“Yes, you are. Also, it’s really cold now. Shouldn’t you be inside your house?” You look at him quizzically. “Why are you still out here?”

A small blush flits across Zhangjing’s cheeks. “Locked myself out,” he mumbles.

“You are a grown man, and you still managed to lock yourself out?” You snicker.

Zhangjing does not deign to reply.

“I can try to pick your lock,” you offer once your laughter subsides.

“Pick my lock?!”

You shrug. “Yeah. I used to be pretty good at picking locks until my friends forced me to stop.”

“For good reason,” Zhangjing mutters. “But yeah. You can give it a shot.”

“Cool, let’s go!” you cheer, fishing out a little bag of lock-picking tools from your pocket.

“Why do you have those in your pocket?”

You just grin in response.

- - -

You wiggle the pick inside the lock for a few seconds before looking up. “How come we do this every year? This stupid competition?”

Wind whistles through the air as Zhangjing does not respond.

“It’s weird,” you say, turning back to the lock. “No one ever put up lights on this block before I moved in. How come you did?”

Zhangjing mumbles something completely inaudible.

“What?”

“Yanjunmight’vesaidsomethingaboutgettingchristmaslightssothatyouwouldactuallynoticemebecauseithoughtyouwerecute.”

You blink. “What?”

Zhangjing huffs and smacks his head. “Why did I say anything,” he mumbles.

“Why’s your face so red?” you ask.

“It’s cold out!” he snaps defensively.

“My face isn’t that red… is it?” You shrug. “Anyway, didn’t catch what you said. Just Yanjun, Christmas lights, and… cute?”

A sigh of defeat rushes past your ear as you wiggle the lock pick around again. “When you moved in, I thought you were cute, so Yanjun suggested I get Christmas decorations to get your attention. And then it just evolved into some weird competition. Happy?”

“Uh, no?” you snap, standing back up. “If I’d known you thought I was cute, I would’ve asked you out like, two years ago!”

Dead silence. There isn’t even wind.

“In that case, unless you don’t think I’m cute anymore, I think we should go on a date tomorrow,” you say decisively, turning back to the lock. “I’ll come over at two!”

Snick. The lock opens. “And now your house is unlocked,” you say proudly. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

The kiss you then press to his cheek leaves Zhangjing speechless.

. . . . .

You love winter, but winter hates you. Every year you get horrible seasonal allergies, complete with a stuffy nose, sneezes, and a rasping cough that drives away everyone within a fifty-foot radius. The only person who cares to stay near is your best friend, which is a little bit of an issue considering you have a sort of kind of massive crush on them.

- - -

“Toss me into a fire,” you mumble, sounding like you’ve got dirt in the back of your throat. “Everything hurts and I’m cold.”

No one hears you, of course. You’re alone.

“And now I’m talking to myself like the dumb, sick, idiot I am,” you mutter. “No wonder no one wants to be around me.”

And of course you’re being overdramatic again.

It’s not that no one wants to be around you normally. It’s just that no one wants to be around your germy, snotty, allergy-ridden self.

Winter is fun. Winter is great. Winter is awesome. You love winter, because it means presents, joy, snow, and time spent with loved ones.

But winter hates you. It always gifts you a stuffy nose and a loud, headache-inducing sneeze-cough that always comes just in time for the holidays, leaving you knocked out at home, taking multiple allergy medications in the hopes that you’ll be better in time for Christmas.

A loud sneeze racks your body, followed by a volley of coughs, and then you sink under your covers again. You sigh as deeply as you can without killing your throat.

Then someone knocks on the door.

Two seconds later, your phone buzzes.

Fan Chengcheng, December 12, 3:00 pm

Open the door!

You blink once, then twice. Why is Chengcheng here? When it’s clear you’re sick and dying?

You, December 12, 3:02 pm

are you trying to get yourself sick

Fan Chengcheng, December 12, 3:02 pm

Allergies aren’t contagious idiot

You, December 12, 3:03 pm

ya but the germs in my snot probably are

He just sends back a puking emoji followed by ‘just open the goddamn door.’

“God help me,” you mutter, rolling out of bed. You’ve wrapped your blanket around you like a burrito and you remain huddled in it, teeth chattering as you trudge through the cold apartment.

“Get inside,” you sniffle, shoving the tall boy inside before slamming the door shut. Even then, some of the cold seeps in, and you shiver underneath your blanket.

Chengcheng sets a bag down on your coffee table and raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you’d look this bad,” he says offhandedly.

A scowl spreads across your face. “If I wasn’t so sick, I’d punch you,” you rasp.

“Yeah, I know.” He sticks out his tongue. “But you are sick, so I have immunity. Well, for now.”

Huffing, you stomp on his foot, making him yelp more so in surprise than pain. “I’m going back to bed,” you mumble. “Do whatever you want, just don’t invite anyone over and don’t break anything. And don’t complain tomorrow if you wake up unable to breathe through a stuffy nose.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Chengcheng lifts you up, and you let out a strangled noise of surprise and embarrassment. Your face is hot and you pray that you can put it down to allergies if Chengcheng asks.

“Put me down!” you yell, the end of your command turning into a hacking cough.

“In your condition?” Chengcheng counters, nearly slamming your head into the doorframe. “No way.”

He almost knocks you into your bedroom wall. “You’re trying to kill me!” you snap.

“I would never!” he gasps, affronted, dumping you unceremoniously on the bed and placing a hand on his chest.

With effort, you roll over, covering yourself in the blanket. “Good night,” you mumble.

Chengcheng laughs, a small, quiet laugh that’s so uncharacteristic of his usual boisterous self that you’re confused for a moment. And then the bed dips as he settles on the mattress, and his hand goes to rest in your hair, and you really want to tell him to stop or he’ll get sick but the feeling is so soothing and calming that you really don’t want him to stop.

“Go to sleep,” he murmurs, carding a hand through your hair. “You’ll feel better.”

As you drift into dreamworld, you hear a faint murmur.

“If only we could stay like this forever.”

You want to answer, but sleep claims you before you can.

. . . . .

Presents are a must at Christmas time, no? But no matter what you get this year, there’s only one thing you really want: you want him to come home.

- - -

“Still moping?” Zhangjing asks, sighing through the phone.

You roll over in bed. “Leave me alone,” you mumble, words muffled by the pillow. “Let me mope in peace.”

“Do you want to come over and see my Christmas lights?” he offers.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass. Are you still having that competition with your neighbor?”

“About that…” Zhangjing coughs. “We’re kind of dating now?”

“WHAT?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! I WANT ALL OF THE DETAILS!”

“I’ll tell you when I come over, just please stop screaming,” he begs.

“Fine. Her lights were better than yours though last time I saw,” you joke.

“That’s it, I’m never speaking to you again,” Zhangjing huffs. You can hear him shuffling things around on his end.

“No, no, I’m sorry, Zhangjing,” you relent, rolling over again. Silence takes over the call and your smile slips off of your face as you remember who isn’t coming home.

On the other end, Zhangjing curses. “Damn you, Lin Yanjun,” he complains. “Can’t even come home to be with your girlfriend for Christmas.”

“Be quiet, he’s just busy. And I’m just being an overdramatic idiot. I’ll get over it,” you assure him. The skeptical silence that follows tells you that Zhangjing is not reassured.

“Alright, enough of this. I’m coming over with some of the boys. Chengcheng can’t come though, his friend is sick and he’s taking care of her,” Zhangjing says in his no-nonsense voice. “I have cookies and we’ll cook and then we’re going to binge watch TV shows, got it?”

A slow smile spreads across your lips. “Thanks, Zhangjing.”

- - -

Once laughter is bouncing off of your walls, you don’t feel so lonely anymore. Justin’s and Linkai’s screams fill the rooms, and you find yourself smiling more widely than you thought you would.

“Feeling better?” Zhangjing asks over the yells in the kitchen. You nod and grin.

Soon, all the food is cooked and your tiny coffee table is creaking under the weight of all the dishes. The younger kids attack it all with a vengeance, though they’re sure to leave enough food for the “oldies.”

(“Who are you calling old?” Zhengting’s girlfriend snaps.

“Not you!” Justin yelps.)

You simply sit on the couch, watching from a distance. Seeing them all so happy warms your heart but at the same time, it just makes you remember who isn’t here.

“Dammit, Lin Yanjun,” you whisper, the smile slipping off your face.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Ziyi asks worriedly from across the room, trying to pick his way along the floor while Justin and Linkai wrestle wildly. At his words, though, they immediately stop, looking at you with wide eyes.

“I think Y/N needs a hug!” Justin announces, launching himself onto you. Linkai follows suit and you groan under their weight. “Help…”

Instead of them getting pulled off, though, more weight piles on, and pretty soon you’re buried under a mound of people. A tired sigh escapes your lips but at least you’re smiling. “Get off me!” you yell playfully. “I can’t breathe!”

In the second of silence that follows your declaration, there’s a loud knock on your door, followed by the doorbell.

“Who’s that?” you ask, wriggling out of the pile. “You think someone’s lost?”

“Maybe,” Ziyi says, shrugging. “I’ll go check.”

“Don’t get murdered on Christmas,” Justin quips.

“Murdered?” Linong asks worriedly.

“Joking, Nong, I’m joking.”

“Y/N, it’s something for you!” Ziyi yells.

Your eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. “I thought packages weren’t delivered on Christmas?” you mumble to yourself.

“‘Something?’ What am I, not a human?”

You freeze.

“Y/N?” Ziyi pokes his head out of the corner to see you frozen. “Oh, there you are.”

“Is he actually here?” you squeak. “Like… I didn’t imagine that just now, right?”

Ziyi smiles. “He’s actually here.”

Two seconds later, you’ve knocked Yanjun into the doorframe with the force of your hug, but none of that matters because he’s home.

“Damn you,” you say, your words muffled by his jacket. “I hate you, Lin Yanjun!”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he says, patting your back. “Now can I come inside? It’s really cold out.”

You let him stumble inside and shut the door before wrapping him in a hug again. “I’m not letting you go,” you mumble.

“Not even to let me kiss you?” your boyfriend asks amusedly.

“Fine, I will make one exception.”

“KISS! KISS!”

“Remind me to slap Justin when this is over,” you say, letting Yanjun go briefly. He takes off his jacket and pulls you to him again as your arms go around his neck. He looks into your eyes with all the love in the world, and then he kisses you.

“I love you,” you murmur when you break away for air, “and I’m so glad you came back.”

“I love you too,” Yanjun says breathlessly before pulling you in again. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

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assholemurphy · 6 years

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it’s 7a. i have 5 assignments i have to do before mon, plus several others i should be doing to get ahead/back on track. i also need to clean up/take out all the trash in the house and (probs) do dishes (even tho they aren’t my responsibility). i also need to do a significant amount of organizing via planner/calendar/etc. i have all of my folders, planners, and other assorted school things spread out in a semi circle around me on the floor of the living room. i’m on my second monster. i woke up at like, 11:30p from my last nap (i slept from 9a-5:30p, then took a nap from 9p-11:30p, i think, idk, time is confusing and means nothing to me atm). i should be doing all of those assignments and things. i should have been doing them all day/night/time expanse. i have not and i am not. instead, i’m currently trying to convince myself to stop talking to myself and begin writing the next chap of tal. i’ve read enough of it to remind myself what’s happened and what should happen. now i just need to actually begin writing. i rly need to do my hw, but i’m just so goddamn distracted and out of sorts, so i’m hoping that by writing, i can trigger a little bit of productivity in myself and shit. writing is my self care, so i’m hoping that it’ll also help me out mentally and get me to a place where i can get some stuff done.

that is not to say i haven’t done anything. i’ve sent several emails, cleaned up my opened docs (bc there were so many it was bugging me), and finished one of my assignments (the shortest one), except for a tiny bit of info i need from the playwright, but i sent him an email (see: above). there’s a fuckton i need to do, but i’m rly, rly out of sorts rn.

my roommate has decided that since we fought (once) that we are ‘bad for each other’ and that she ‘wants to salvage what she can of our friendship’ and therefore, once our lease is up in 3 months, she wants to move out, or wants me to move out. idk which. but i’m so not happy. i could write novels abt how fucked up she is, and yet, i’m the problem bc i finally snapped at her and told her the goddamned truth. but fine, whatever. i just need to find a new roommate bc i can’t cover all the rent/bills, but see, i’ve got 3 friends. two are brothers and are NOT going to live with me. that would probs be bad. maybe not as bad as we all seem to think, bc i can stand them more than i can goldilocks atm, but still. they live on campus and like it. i cannot go back to living on campus. it’s too expensive for me and i don’t do well with all the rules. nope. i need my own place (with a roommate). so, that means i’ll have to advertise and shit and find some random human to live with me. gross af and not good for my anxiety. goldilocks probs has another potential roommate already. whatever. i’m not going to keep coddling her and walking on eggshells bc she’s too fragile to handle normal confrontation. she literally goes so far out of her way to avoid confrontation that she lets all of her frustration build up until she’s being passive aggressive abt everything and then she swears she isn’t being passive aggressive to me. but she is. i’ve got 3 months to convince her to chill the hell out and actually come to me with her problems before i have to find a new roommate. but... i’m not sure i want to. like i mentioned before, she’s a literal dark cloud sometimes and it drains me to be in the same apartment as her. she’s decided to stop being friends with pretty boy (she was never fond of rafiki, bc he calls her on her shit, i mean, he’s a bit mean abt it, but hes not wrong) so my friend group is falling apart. we (pb and i) knew this was going to happen and we put a timeline on it. two months ago he told her it’d be two months before she dropped him, and i gave her an extra 3 months before she dropped me. guess what’s happening? motherfucking prophecies. i’m getting tired of them, tbh.

so, i lay here, on the floor, papers and shit surrounding me, trying to find the will to get shit done, and all i can think is that, dammit, i wish i were drunk. or had rafiki/pb/both here. but it’s 7a and they’re probs asleep. i’ll see if they’ll come over tonight, but that means i need to accomplish some things before i go to sleep later (i’m aiming for like 1p, then wake up at like 9p). i also need food, but my ed is kicking my ass currently and i don’t want to. like, i cannot force myself to eat rn. i’ve done good for the past couple of months bc of my gallbladder issues (i don’t want to lose too much more weight and make it worse until i can get something done abt it) but it’s wearing on me and i can’t keep doing it. i was alright, mainly, until i started eating normally, then everything went downhill, like it always does. so, i think i’m gonna go back to counting cals and eating less, but i’m gonna do my damnedest to stay around 1200 so it’s not completely unhealthy (bc that’s the lowest you’re supposed to go, technically) but i’m worried it won’t be long before i’m eating <700 again. but, i was doing better mentally then. maybe it’s for the best? but ik i can’t function like this anymore. it’s wearing on me and i’m spiraling fast. i’m trying to pull myself out of it, but it’s like trying to escape an undercurrent in the middle of the ocean. it can be done, but it’s hard af and dangerous even after you’re safe. so, i’ve got to do something.

so, i’m gonna use the next few days to get caught up with work (at least caught up, hopefully ahead) and organized, then i’m going to work on balancing my mental health and figuring out a solution to my shit. but first, i’m gonna try to write as much of this next chap as i can. bc i rly want to get back in to writing and i think if i do, i’ll be happier and better able to face the world knowing i’ve got an escape again.

i’m also abt to make a to do list so i can keep track of what i need to do before i sleep today, if i can manage it

#i just need like a month long vacation #a bottle of good rum and some pepsi #a couple good movies #and the victory bros #who've been the only thing keeping me together lately and i'm not even sure they realize just how much i've come to need them #it bothers me honestly how much i rely on them #bc i've learned that ppl walk out of your life so easily and that getting attached leads to heartbreak #but i didn't have a choice in getting attached to these two #it was like god pointed at them and said #'these are yours now. rely on them. let them help you. fuck knows you need it. and no complaining bc i /do/ make the rules'#and i just kinda went 'well alright then'#and this is where i am now #completely attached to the most horribly obnoxious republican douchebags i've ever met #and i don't rly feel bad abt it either #even if they have some shitty world views #but pb keeps me sane thru meltdowns and panic attacks #and helps me with all my emotional bullshit that i can't handle on my own #and rafiki helps me with the logical side of things and gives me a chance to just chill out for once #and without them idk what i'd do #i've only just started to get to know rafiki but without pb i wouldn't have made it thru last semester #that fuckwit saved my life and i'll never not owe him for that #iz says stuff #ed mention

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thisnerdsadventures · 4 years

Text

week 2 of adulting

this week was a bit more of normal work time than last week, which was mostly chill because of settling in, ramping up my research and thankfully getting a break from recruiting during the whole move-in. This week - not chill. I remember I said I was looking forward to being chiller after undergrad, but how did this (below) happen????? how @ me???????

this is reminiscent of my UG falls where my calendar also looked like

smh smh smh

(also idk why i call these weeks of adulting because i am not really adulting i am pretending to adult until i am forced out into the world to adult for real, though i guess today i went to UPS to ship packages, CVS to pick up prescriptions, and paid my electric bill. so maybe i am an adult)

Monday: I had an interview for four hours. yes four. Afterwards, I went on a 2.3 mile run and then cooked pasta for dinner. Not sure how the interview went but hopefully it went well enough to get an offer, but I haven’t gotten a call back yet. Then I worked on my research at night for like four hours because I still have like job expectations

Tuesday: So I had like five straight hours of zoom calls and by the end of it I felt absolutely fried. Like fried. That four hour gap is what happens when you subject a human being to that long of zoom calls. And then I had to pset and work on these slides for my group presentation, which was on this paper that I realized I had no basis to understand, so I had to work furiously for many hours that night to understand things like a) What is a warp divergence in GPUs? b) How does an address space work again? c) What is SPMD and SIMT? And then I realized I had an interview the next day so I had probably prepare a little for it.

Wednesday: I had a dermatology appt in the morning, and then I came back and watched my lecture and then asked the grad student on the project the aforementioned questions and I think he realized I know #nothing and I probably need #help. But regardless, I was let loose to create these slides, which took me a grand total of three hours as I wondered how to create slides on topics I didn’t really understand. But after the third hour, things started to make a little more sense and I put together a solid 16 slides. The Celtics played that night, and one of the GRAs put up the game on the front lawn, so I went back to campus to go watch it, and then they lost so it was sad.

Thursday: I was so tired when I woke up because I had been busy praying that there wouldn’t be a heap on the interview questions that day, but I had two (2) interviews that day and by the last one, I kept on thinking to myself “god i am so tired”. I also had to trudge through 2 hours of office hours, which is normally pretty fun imo, except for checking off people’s code, which is dry and involves hearing the same algorithm explained like seventy thousand times, which is a little on the unbearable end of things, IMO. At the end though, I went over to my friend’s and had dinner, went home, had some thoughts, but ended up hopping on a call with the grad student at 9p (work life balance?????) and then calling my friends as I frantically tried to figure out what I was going to say for 20-25 minutes, and then gave up on the idea of finishing my pset in the midst of my anxiety

Friday: got up early to get tested, then went to recitation and got a call from my Googz recruiter (passed hiring committee!!) who said I would likely get an offer within a couple weeks, and then gave my presentation, which was basically me saying things, people asking questions, other people answering them, and me saying “Cool! moving on,” like five times. But it happened and then I was free to finish my pset and then do my actual work for my research project the rest of the afternoon. I went home and cooked more pasta and called a friend and then played Among Us until 2am. I snaked someone pretty hard and am pretty proud of myself still

Saturday: honestly didn’t have that many set plans today but ended up having a lot of fun????? it was a beautiful day, so a friend of mine and I got brunch at Tatte, I tried her electric scooter and did !not fall, and then ran to UPS to ship stuff, ran to CVS to pick up Rx’s and then picked up a drink at Flour to sit on Kresge for a bit and read. I read for about an hour when I called up my friend and we sat on the front lawn for a bit and I tried her pennyboard (did not fall!). She brought me boba and we chatted and read a bit until I got invited on a surprise bike ride to the navy shipyard by the harbor at sunset. By the time I got back, the sun had set and we were all exhausted, so a few of us sat outside for a few minutes to chat a little, and then we headed home. I am still pretty tired from the week, so I’ve just been calling my parents and getting some quick todos done before going to bed and hopefully sleeping for a (long) time.

i’m a little worried about the next few weeks because I have a Lot going on, in terms of at least three full day interviews and another one of these paper presentations and a ....... midterm exam????? oh no!!!! time to drop. anyways! Adulting has been ok so far, I am still alive, i am taking out the trash, no debt collector is after me, so i am taking some W’s for myself

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edgewaterfarmcsa · 5 years

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CSA WEEK 13

PICK-LIST

Leeks - Parsley - Watermelon - Carrots - Carmen Peppers- Cherry/Grape Tomatoes - Kale

The change in the weather has taken a real edge off the farm this past week. With cooler temps, the crops are slower to ripen, therefore the push to harvest is not as dire. This translates to more time for things like Fall prep, starting the work day at 7am instead of 6am, eating an actual breakfast, and (personally) picking unnecessary crops like husk cherries that are reserved for me and my three year-old (maybe just maybe we will share with others). Also noteworthy, the light levels! Truth be told, we have no choice but to start at 7 because if we started at 6 we would all need head-lamps and pounds on pounds of coffee (we’re tired). I mean, don’t get me wrong, we are still swimming in cherry tomatoes and up to our ears in peppers but, the chill in the air does allow a good calm breeze to pass through field crew as we head into Fall. In other news, one of our CSA drop-offs, Brownsville Butcher & Pantry is throwing a North Country Boil Party this FRIDAY serving clams, blue crabs, and oysters (sourced from Long Island) alongside zero gravity beer 5p-9p. I hope to go and pretend it’s our harvest party (if we were all fisherman and lived on the coast). Go for the food and stay for our own favorite farmer (and dad-in-law) Pooh Sprague on the bass guitar ripping northern bluegrass classics with his band of old time rockers the 4 Hoarse Men.

TIPS - TRICKS - RECIPES:

LEEKS!!

OMG FRIENDS DO I HAVE A HEAVEN SENT DISH FOR YOU ALL TO TRY!!. This one is inspired by Grace, one of our dear farmstand Summer employees who approached me one afternoon in early August as I was dropping off mesclun mix. She spoke of roasted leeks. A simple perfect dish. At this point the idea of turning on my oven seemed impossible, but a month later, 20 degrees cooler, I gave it a go, and wtf took me so long to know about this?!?! The aroma alone will blow your socks off. Anyhow, read on for a more complete recipe for the absolute easiest most melt-in-your-mouth experience you can have with an allium.

Roasted Leeks Source: Whole Living, April 2011

These flavorful roasted vegetables can be added to soups, salads, sandwiches, or served as a side dish.

1 bunch leeks, tough green leaves trimmed, stem end quartered lengthwise

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper

1. Heat oven to 425 degrees. Arrange leeks on a baking sheet. Drizzle with oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast, flipping once, until caramelized and tender, 10 to 12 minutes.

(THAT'S IT!!)

ALSO NOTEWORTHY, LEEKS ARE A SERIOUS SUPER FOOD!!! I WILL INCLUDE A LINK ON THE BLOG THAT GOES INTO MORE DETAILS BUT BOTTOMLINE, THEY HELP THE BODY ELIMINATE TOXINS AND THEY ARE AN INCREDIBLE BLOOD STABILIZER. SEE OPRAH’S COMMENTARY

ROASTED PEPPERS

Place your rack toward the top of the oven, and then preheat the broiler.

Place the red peppers on a parchment-lined baking sheet and roast for about 20 minutes, turning the peppers halfway through. You want your peppers to be completely charred (black) on the outside. Oven temperatures (especially broilers) vary, so be sure to keep an eye on them since some might cook faster or slower.

Remove the pepper from the oven and cover with a piece of foil, and allow them to sit for about 20 minutes. This will essentially steam the pepper and make the skins much easier to remove.

Remove the foil, and make sure the peppers are cool enough to handle. Then, with a trash can nearby, remove the tops and seeds of the peppers, along with the charred skin (which should peel off easily). Then, transfer the peppers to a cutting board and cut them into sizes that you like. I prefer long strips.

You have several options for storing your roasted red peppers. First, you can use them right away. Second, you can store them in an air-tight container in the fridge. I like to store them in a mason jar with a drizzle of olive oil. They should keep for 1 to 2 weeks in the refrigerator. Or, you can freeze your roasted peppers by placing them in a freezer bag. They will keep for a couple of months in the freezer.

OR YOU CAN MAKE ROMESCO SAUCE WITH YOUR ROASTED PEPS!!!

-ROMESCO SAUCE-

The sweet peppers are coming in hot right now and if you feel super inspired after your roasting, this is the PERFECT SAUCE to make now, eat now, or freeze for later- I am sure you could can this as well, but I have not- so therefor, I am no authority on the subject- read on!

1 small garlic clove

roasted red peppers

2 tablespoons freshly-squeezed lemon juice

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted

ROAST YOUR PEPPERS!!

To take the bite out of garlic, blanch in a small saucepan of boiling water for 30 seconds, then scoop it out.

Add all of the ingredients to a blender, and blend until smooth.

(ABOVE RECIPE SUGGESTION FROM CLAIRE WHO MAKES THIS RECIPE ON THE REGULAR AND FOUND IT IN THE BOOK, Ready or Not: 150+ Make-Ahead, Make-Over, and Make-Now Recipes by Nom Nom Paleo by Michelle Tam and Henry Fong, copyright © 2017. Published by Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC.

The original recipe calls for shrimp to dip it in, but in my former life I studied marine conservation and the effects of shrimp trawling are devastating, so pass on the shrimp and dip your carrot instead.

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wellnesschange · 6 years

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How to Lucid Dream for Beginners

Imagine having one of your most terrifying dreams. You are flying on a plane, going to your dream location with your best friend. Suddenly the sky outside your window darkens. Your friend asks what you are looking at as the plane starts to bump and jolt around. You simply shrug as you sit back and start to close your eyes. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hits the wing and the engine bursts into flames before your eyes. The passengers panic and scream, grabbing onto their loved ones as you just sit quietly in your own form of panic. You look out the window and see the plane tilting to one side as the other engine struggles to keep the plane in flight. Suddenly, you remember that you have been training to lucid dream for months. This is all a dream you say to yourself, until it sinks into your psyche. You now realize it is only a dream. You look to your friend, grab their arm, and say “let’s find our happiness.” You close your eyes and start whispering your mantra. “I am aware. I am aware of my dreams.” You’re friend looks over at you, clenching your arm, about to speak. You each blink and suddenly, your feet are warm. Sinking slowly, water washing over them. You feel the heat of the sun on the back of your neck. You realize you are now at the beach. Your dream vacation has arrived.

What is lucid dreaming

Lucid dreaming is the art of becoming aware in your dreams. Realizing you are dreaming amidst your sleep. Then, taking that realization and controlling yourself and objects within the dream.

Controlling our dreams

What if we could control our dreams? You can’t die in your dreams. Why not take advantage of this to provide yourself with immense growth. Do you have a phobia? Let’s say you are afraid of snakes. This is the perfect environment to get over your fear. During a dream, find your awareness. Slowly enter into your lucid dream. Sit down in your dream.

Tell yourself that you are going to use this area to grow. Imagine a harmless small snake crawling up to you. It sits in front of you, as you sit on a large boulder. Notice how the non-venomous snake flickers its harmless tongue at you. Smelling the air with its senses as you do the same while breathing in deeply. Imagine a second and then a third crawling up nearby. The green and brown pattern looking beautiful reflecting in the warm sunlight. Once you are ready, pick one up. It doesn’t feel slimy or gross at all like you imagined. It feels just as any other small intelligent earth inhabiting creature would feel. You can feel its heart beat. You can feel its muscles contract and restrict as it raises its head to examine you. You and this creature mean no harm to the other. Two curious creatures with the only intents of growth and happiness. Now set it down and let it free. Let the three of them crawl back into the field to find their own sunning rock. You are one step closer to overcoming your fears in the awake world.

You can complete this practice for any fear. To have better control of this practice you can write out how the experience will go. Just like anything, the more planning, the better the results. You can also travel anywhere with lucid dreaming. Want to go to a beach but have no means or money to travel? You can do that. Start by controlling your dreams. Find your lucid state. Imagine the sand, the ocean, the wind in your hair, the warm sun, the hot dry sand, then walk to the ocean. You can go anywhere you would like. This is a great practice to try. The more you practice the better you can get. You can then take this practice and combine it with a daily meditation routine. See how lucid dreaming changes your meditation practice for the better over time. You can meet anyone, real or fiction. You can meet your favorite celebrity or fictional book character. They may not be the real version, but it is still an interesting practice. You can imagine yourself with your favorite character exploring a remote island or hiking a mountain. Listen to what they have to say. Maybe, your subconscious will speak to you through their voice. Anything at all you can imagine can be done.

Benefits of Lucid Dreaming

Lucid Dreaming comes with many benefits. Many more benefits than negative side effects.

It encourages healthy sleeping habits. If you are going to lucid dream it is best to create good sleeping habits. Sleep is controlled by your bodies Melatonin. Your body produces most of it at night. Therefore it is best for you to go to sleep between 8p and 12a nightly. Try to rise with the sun in the morning and sleep after it sets or a few hours after it sets.

Lucid Dreaming lets you grow and face your fears. As mentioned earlier you can tackle your fears and phobias with this practice. You can grow to become fearless in the natural world.

It helps you understand your subconscious mind. With Lucid Dreaming you can better understand your mind. You can use this practice to bring benefits to your meditation routines. It will make your more aware and conscious in your every day activities.

Lucid Dreaming helps you to train and practice skills during your sleep. You can utilize this technique to practice other skills. Practice a form of martial arts, meditation, a dance routine, a musical instrument, speaking calmly to an estranged family member. You can practice any skill that you are trying to improve.

Lucid dreams can expand your conscious boundaries.

Side Effects of Lucid Dreaming

I have came across only one negative side effect while reading Lucid Dreaming experiences of others. The experience of not knowing when you are dreaming and when you are awake. This would surely be a terrible side effect. Though, many at some point in their life have felt a small taste of this. They have felt they are living in a dream or living in a movie. Just like any illness, mental disorder, or problem; This is an opportunity to strengthen and find growth. This side effect of not knowing when you are awake is a sign of mental illness and should be treated by medical professionals.

Dream Journals

A dream journal is essential when starting out your Lucid Dreaming journey. You may think that you never or rarely have dreams, but everyone has dreams. It is estimated that every single person dreams for at least two hours per night. Any notebook can be your dream journal. You can even use some printer paper. Obviously, the more organized you can keep your journal habits the better. The true important part writing in a dream journal will be consistency and routine/habit writing. Write down what you remember from your dreams when you wake up each morning. If you don’t remember anything then write the date and that you do not remember anything from your dreams. This will help you create the habit of writing every morning you wake up. The quicker you can journal the better. If you wait until after you shower and get ready for the day, you will find you are forgetting bits and pieces if not the whole dream. After a few nights to a few weeks you should start to remember more and more of your dreams.

How to lucid dream

There are many different ways to get to the end result of Lucid Dreaming. I will go over one way that has worked for many.

Set an alarm for 6 hours after you go to sleep. Using a device that can set multiple alarms would be ideal. Let’s say you are going to start sleeping at 10p every night. You will want to start your bedtime routine an hour before this. At 9p go through your nightly steps. Lay in bed, turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes before you think you will fall into a slumber. Make sure your first alarm is set for 4am. You can set your next alarm for whenever you want to rise for the day. You have multiple REM cycles after you sleep. You have a REM(Rapid Eye Movement) cycle once every 2 hours or so. If you set an alarm 6 hours in, you should be in one of your longest REM cycles.

After you wake up 6 hours later you should be very close to a dream thus giving you a higher chance to remember this dream. Get up, get something to drink, and write in your dream journal about your recent dream. Write the date, the time, and as many details as you can remember. You do not need to write in perfect sentences. Especially since you may be tired. You will just want to journal quick notes. So that if you are reading this later, you can recall what you were dreaming of.

Lay back down and think about what it is you want to do in your next dream.

Repeat to yourself a mantra.(a simple sentence you can repeat to yourself to get something to stick into your mind and your subconscious.) Try a simple mantra like “I will be aware in my dreams” and repeat for 3-5 minutes or until you fall asleep. An additional mantra you could try before sleep would be: I will tell myself I am dreaming, while I am dreaming.

You could also try and repeat an action. Such as tensing your hands or rotating your arms until you fall asleep. The goal with this practice would be to try and do this in your dream. Once you do this action in your dream you will have a higher chance of correlating this action with awareness of your dream state.

Additional Tip: You can try listening to a “Lucid Dreaming Music boosting track”. There are many available online for free. I would recommend listening to it while you are awake during meditation. Then again while you drift to sleep. If you do this enough, you could relate hearing this sound in your dream with when you awake during your meditations. This would bring awareness into your dream and help you realize you are now in a dream state.

For many this doesn’t work on the first night. Like anything it takes practice. If you stick to these practices you should start to show success after a few nights to a few weeks. Especially with avidly keeping a dream journal. Lucid dreaming is easier for some but anyone can achieve lucid dreaming. The importance is routine, routine, routine, and practice, practice, practice. Once anything in your life is a habit, good or bad, it will start shaping your life.

Keeping your dreams stable

Normal dreams are movies. Lucid dreaming is knowing that you are dreaming while you are dreaming.

Excitement usually wakes you up. Once you realize you are dreaming many wake up right away. To keep your lucid dreams stable, remain calm once you realize you are dreaming. Attempt to lay/sit still in your dream. Observe your surroundings and notice your senses. Touch objects, listen to any sounds, and try to use your sense of smell. If the dream becomes unclear, try to rub your hands together or touch your legs. You can also try saying words like, “Calm” “clear” and “stable”. This will help ground you calmly within the dream. Try to do everything slowly while you take in your dream world.

Anyone can start Lucid Dreaming. It all depends on how determined you are to stay consistent when practicing this skill just as with any new skill. It is believed that this skill will help bring you one step closer to understanding your mind and finding true enlightenment.

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wellnesschange · 6 years

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How to Lucid Dream for Beginners

Imagine having one of your most terrifying dreams. You are flying on a plane, going to your dream location with your best friend. Suddenly the skies outside your window turn black. Your friend asks what you are looking at as the plane starts to bump and jolt around. You shrug as you sit back and start to close your eyes. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hits the wing and the engine bursts into flames before your eyes. The passengers panic and scream, grabbing onto their loved ones as you just sit quietly in your own form of panic. You look out the window and see the plane tilting to one side as the other engine struggles to keep the plane in flight. Suddenly, you remember that you have been training to lucid dream for months. This is all a dream you say to yourself, until it sinks into your psyche. You now realize it is only a dream. You look to your friend, grab their arm, and say “let’s find our happiness.” You close your eyes and start whispering your mantra. “I am aware. I am aware of my dreams.” You’re friend looks over at you, clenching your arm, about to speak. You each blink and suddenly, your feet are warm. Sinking slowly, water washing over them. You feel the heat of the sun on the back of your neck. You realize you are now at the beach. Your dream vacation has arrived.

What is lucid dreaming

Lucid dreaming is the art of becoming aware in your dreams. Realizing you are dreaming amidst your sleep. Then, taking that realization and controlling yourself and objects within the dream.

Controlling our dreams

Benefits of Lucid Dreaming

Lucid Dreaming comes with many benefits. Many more benefits than negative side effects.

Lucid Dreaming lets you grow and face your fears. As mentioned earlier you can tackle your fears and phobias with this practice. You can grow to become fearless in the natural world.

Lucid dreams can expand your conscious boundaries.

Side Effects of Lucid Dreaming

I have only come across one side effect of lucid dreaming. The side effect of not knowing when you are dreaming and when you are awake. This would surely be a terrible side effect. Though, many at some point in their life have felt a small taste of this. They have felt they are living in a dream or living in a movie. Just like any illness, mental disorder, or problem; This is an opportunity to strengthen and find growth. This side effect of not knowing when you are awake is a sign of mental illness and should be treated by medical professionals.

Dream Journals

A dream journal is essential when starting out your Lucid Dreaming journey. You may think that you never or rarely have dreams, but everyone has dreams. It is estimated that every single person dreams for at least two hours per night. Any notebook can be your dream journal. You can even use some printer paper. Obviously, the more organized you can keep your journal habits the better. The true important part writing in a dream journal will be consistency and routine/habit writing. Write down what you remember from your dreams when you wake up each morning.. If you don’t remember anything then write the date and that you do not remember anything from your dreams. This will help you create the habit of writing every morning you wake up. The quicker you can journal the better. If you wait until after you shower and get ready for the day, you will find you are forgetting bits and pieces if not the whole dream. After a few nights to a few weeks you should start to remember more and more of your dreams.

How to lucid dream

There are many different ways to get to the end result of Lucid Dreaming. I will go over one way that has worked for many.

Lay back down and think about what it is you want to do in your next dream.

Additional Tip: You can try listening to a “Lucid Dreaming Music boosting track”. There are many to find online for free. I would recommend listening to it while you are awake during meditation. Then again while you drift to sleep. If you do this enough, you could relate hearing this sound in your dream with when you awake during your meditations. This would bring awareness into your dream and help you realize you are now in a dream state.

Keeping your dreams stable

Normal dreams are movies. Lucid dreaming is knowing that you are dreaming while you are dreaming.

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