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celestialmark · 4 years

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Solitude - Epilogue

Characters: Mark Lee x reader, members of nct

Category: sniper!mark, mafia au

Word count: 4.9K

Warnings: death, cursing, violence

Author’s note: ahhh! this really does mark the end of this series ;; I felt emotional writing this I had to stop every now and again hahaha but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who have been patiently following this series from the day the preview was released. I had so much fun working on this and I hope I did the plot and characters justice. love you guys, and I really hope you like this.

The sun shines brightly above Johnny, the cloudless skies giving it all the space it could possibly need to spread as much light as possible. Still, the wind that blows occasionally is cold, sometimes even biting his skin, but nonetheless, it’s a beautiful day to be out and about. Too bad, the weather just didn’t seem to fit Johnny’s mood, no matter how much it would’ve lifted his spirits on any other given day.

Johnny sighs for the umpteenth time in the day, too early for his liking to be sulking when he hasn’t even gone through half of it yet. His hard eyes are trained below him, re-reading and re-reading the words engraved on the cold stone. Lee Taeyong’s name shouldn’t be on it, it really shouldn’t because Taeyong was still so young and still had so much ahead of him, still so much to patch things up with Johnny. Yuta was gone, but Taeyong was too. It’s been weeks, it’s been long agonising weeks after the incident but Johnny remembers it all so well, like it was just yesterday. But what he remembers the most is his best friend, slipping away right in his hands where he vowed to save him, to save his life, because Johnny swore he couldn’t deal with another loss of someone he wanted in his life forever.

But Lee Taeyong is gone. Forever.

And Johnny isn’t so sure exactly he’s holding up because he’s always known that being a part of this kind of world, of this kind of a job even when he left ages ago, that lives are bound to be lost. He just didn’t expect it to be Taeyong. And he most definitely didn't expect it to be so soon. At the back of his mind, Johnny was for sure convinced nothing would be worse than losing the love of his life, that maybe nothing would ever compare to that kind of loss, but being here now, standing right in front of a dear friend’s grave, reminds him that losing anyone you hold so close to your heart will always be just as heartbreaking and as painful as the first.

Johnny bends down after a good fifteen minutes to set the bouquet of flowers he’s been holding in his hands since his arrival, setting it down beside the others that had already been put there by previous visitors of the group. Johnny’s eyes are empty when he stands up straight again, releasing a big sigh. It’s a pity, he believes, how his last moments of Taeyong weren’t pleasant, how he’s grown all too complaisant the past two years of always believing Taeyong would be around, and that there’d always be a time to make amends whenever the time was right and when he had properly healed himself.

That’s when the guilt sets in.

“Hey.”

Johnny finds Jeno to his left with an arrangement of flowers in his hand. He smiles at the elder as he walks towards him and Johnny tries to return it. Johnny watches as Jeno sets the flowers down next to his, falling into the space beside him as he breathes in the fresh air of the hills. There’s silence for a good two minutes, each of them unconsciously studying Taeyong’s headstone laid flat on the ground. When Jeno sees Johnny sigh again from the corner of his eye, that’s when he decides to talk first.

“I hope you’re not blaming yourself,” he starts lowly, not really sure how to address such matters to the elder who’s always been the one on the giving end of advices. “You’ve been here every single day for the past two and a half weeks.”

Johnny should have expected this from Jeno by now, his sharp personality literally not missing a single thing without even trying. It’s no surprise he’s noticed something even he didn’t, for coming here every single day didn’t feel like anything to him at all anymore. “I don’t know.. I just.”

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees even when Johnny doesn’t finish his sentence. “We.. the boys still can’t believe it either.” Jeno kicks lightly at the ground, tearing his eyes off Taeyong’s name for the first time since he arrived. “But, it’s not right to blame any of ourselves, I think.”

Johnny shrugs his shoulders. “I just feel like I should have done more to keep him alive. Maybe if I’d just taken him out of there sooner-”

“Okay Johnny stop,” Jeno interferes, twisting his body to face him. “We were all there, alright. And if you had done that, who knows, we would have lost more than just Taeyong that day.” Jeno sighs, his shoulders dropping, “Taeyong is already so much to lose... we can’t afford to have lost you either.”

Johnny doesn’t answer, still too lost in his own thoughts.

“Look,” Jeno huffs, but feels for Johnny. “There is nothing Taeyong wouldn’t have done to protect all of us, to make sure we’re safe, right? It’s always been his utmost priority to keep us alive and knowing him, he wouldn’t have hesitated to do anything to stick to that.” Jeno reaches a hand out to pat Johnny on the shoulder. “Yes, it’s a shame to have lost him in the process, but Taeyong... he would never want any of us to point fingers because it was no one’s fault.”

Johnny sighs again, the last memory of Taeyong too similar to his last memory of Ari and he thinks that’s why it’s killing him inside.

“Just..” Johnny murmurs. “His last words to me were “I’m sorry”... I wish it was something else. Because knowing he died feeling sorry to me, just makes me regret so much, makes me feel like there was definitely more I could have done to save him.”

Jeno gives Johnny’s shoulder a squeeze, seeing him vulnerable for the first time ever since Ari’s incident. “You know, for the past two years, Taeyong has wanted nothing other than to say sorry to you.” Johnny looks lifts his head from the ground and looks at Jeno.

“And the fact that he finally got to say it you, already meant so much to him.”

Donghyuck heaves a sigh to himself when he sees Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin all slumped on the couch on a Thursday evening, right before they’re about to set out for a transaction that’s been planned from way before. Nothing feels right, his chest too heavy sometimes it’s too much for him to bear. But knowing he’s next in line after Mark, he couldn’t help but shoulder all the responsibility that’s suddenly thrown in the air after Taeyong’s passing. It’s cruel, he thinks, how the world continues to revolve even after something so tragic occurred. But it’s a reality he knows they’re all going to have accept sooner or later. Sure, they’ve lost members before and have definitely put their lives on the line to secure deals and payments, but this time it was different, because it was Taeyong they’re talking about, the very alpha of the mafia, the very person who breathed them into life from years back. It felt weird not having him around, despite the constant fear he elicited in them, because at the end of the day, Taeyong always looked after their wellbeing on the down low even if he didn't show it.

Donghyuck’s never seen the boys so sullen before and now that he’s suddenly in charge for the time being, he needed to be the one to pull them altogether, otherwise, they’d all fall down together and that was the last thing he wanted.

Life had to go on.

“Alright boys,” Donghyuck half yells as he claps his hands together once, the sound echoing in the almost empty room. “Let’s get this done fast so we can all go home and plan for our next.”

Jeno rises from the couch quietly as Renjun follows almost begrudgingly while it takes Jaemin a little bit more effort to get up. Donghyuck sighs again, walking over to Jaemin and grabbing his hand so that he can pull him up. Jaemin grumbles, his body flimsy from not wanting to get up.

Donghyuck is about to snap, his short-tempered nature threatening to show but he figures it’s not what the boys needed today. So he sympathises instead, “Look, I know it’s hard. But we have to do this. We can’t sit here and mope around all day. We have to keep going.”

Upon hearing this, Donghyuck gets the most response from the boys for the first time in a while. Jeno had been doing well up at this point, but seeing Renjun and Jaemin acknowledge him and his instructions, makes him a little relieved and a little less on edge, the determination on their faces evidence of the need to do well.

They were going to be back in business in no time.

It takes no less than thirty minutes for Jeno to drive to their destination with the crates secured in the boot. From what they’ve gathered, it’s a small transaction with a group they’ve almost never heard of but upon research, are supposed to be very brutal with exchanges. Donghyuck’s not too worried and he can tell the others aren’t either when Jeno pulls up to a secluded area right in front of an open gymnasium. It’s the perfect place be, no people around, dim lights flickering over the whole building, and just three people waiting in the middle for them. Donghyuck steps out of the van first, followed by the rest of the boys who take it upon themselves to grab the crates from the back. But what surprises Donghyuck is not by what he sees, but by who he sees.

He runs his tongue across the inside of his cheek and a smirk follows when he realises who he’s about to make a transaction with. He raises a brow as a he rests his hands on either sides of his hips, tapping his foot on the gravel three times.

“You’re Charlie?”

The woman in front of him tips her head upwards, raising her chin as she inhales a breath, crossing her arms across her chest in the process.

“And you’re eighteen minutes late.”

Renjun and Jaemin stop right behind Donghyuck as they place the crates on the ground in front of them. He’s just as surprised as Jeno when their eyes widen, their attention falling on the woman who appears to be the leader of the two men on either side of her.

This was definitely a first.

Donghyuck frowns when she retaliates, not only was she meeting a female leader of a mafia for the first time, she was calling into question his authority of the situation too. Donghyuck suddenly feels threatened, and it hasn’t even been five minutes yet and she’s barely spoken a few words. But Donghyuck is convinced it’s because of the way she’s looking, no, glaring at him from where she stands, facial features sharp that make her look extra aggressive. Her orbs are dark, the dark shadows on her lids adding to the intensity of her stare with her black hair tied up neatly in a ponytail, loose curls falling just past her shoulders. When Donghyuck eyes her up and down discretely, he realises they’re wearing almost the exact same clothes, all black from head to toe, topped with a leather jacket that hugs her body perfectly that he can't seem to take his eyes off of her.

Jaemin blinks from behind Donghyuck when he notices how long the silence has stretched on and how his friend is just only ever gawking at her. So Jaemin nudges Donghyuck using his elbow to hopefully snap him out of his trance.

Donghyuck’s throat runs dry and he coughs when he finally comes back to his senses. Straightening himself up, he reminds himself what he’s here for and that he wants to finish strong, just like how he always does.

“Better late than never, right?” Donghyuck challenges, his voice mocking.

But Charlie does not look amused, she doesn’t even twitch a muscle, just continues to stare at Donghyuck like he’s the most absurd creature she’s ever seen. And this puts Donghyuck on edge even more, more than he’ll ever admit.

“Either you arrive on time or never come at all,” Charlie replies calmly, pulling the sleeve of her jacket to briefly glance at the watch on her wrist. “My time is too valuable for people who can’t respect it.”

Renjun makes eye contact with Jeno and they both share unsure looks with each other, already knowing Donghyuck was going to have a hard time dealing with the lady who’s probably making him sweat by now.

Donghyuck is never nervous nor intimated, and absolutely never both at the same time. But Charlie has made history tonight because those two are exactly what he’s feeling. And it feels so unfamiliar it makes the hairs on his skin stand.

Donghyuck clears his throat again and it only makes the three boys behind him even more nervous. “So then why don't we get this transaction on the road so that we no longer “waste” your time?” Donghyuck attempts to fight back, making sure to use quotation marks as a way of obviously mocking her in attempts of masking what he’s feeling.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Charlie mumbles but loud enough for Donghyuck and the boys to hear as she rolls her eyes.

Renjun and Jaemin push the crates to the middle, in between where Donghyuck and Charlie stand. Charlie walks over to it, tapping both boxes with her foot before signalling her two men to step forward and examine the contents of each wooden crate. She doesn’t take her eyes off the two even for a second and when they're done, both looking back up at her with a nod to let her know everything in there is everything that was initially agreed on, Charlie nods back, the two falling in place behind her again.

Charlie throws a black duffel bag on the ground and it lands right by Donghyuck’s foot. Donghyuck, taken aback by how laid back this person is, especially considering she might have a good idea of who he was and which mafia he belonged to, looks back up at her slowly after watching her toss the bag to him.

“The exact amount is in there,” Charlie says, unbothered and clearly bored. “See you around.”

There’s something about this woman that Donghyuck can’t seem to point his finger at, something about her that makes it almost impossible for him to take his eyes off of her and he’s annoyed with himself for feeling so... mesmerised by her, by her every word, by her every move. No one, and he means no one, has ever caught his attention this much before. So he continues to watch her, continues to examine her to try and find what it actually is about her that's gotten him in a tongue-tied mess, as she lowers herself, readying to pick up one of the crates from the ground, pulling both the sleeves up of her jacket in the process.

Donghyuck’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets in that second.

Because that’s when he sees it.

The dragon etched on her right arm.

The exact same one as his.

Mark keeps you close, as close as he could possibly have you, pressed up against his body as you become oblivious to the world around you when you fall into slumber. He still can’t fathom that you’re here, with him, right beside where he can hold you like this, arms wrapped around your frame, your breath against his skin. And what’s even better is that every now and again, you’re scooting and shuffling in your spot, needing to feel more of his warmth unconsciously. He’s never been this close to you before, not even during all those times you shared shelter in the same roof and to finally be able to embrace you for as long as he desired, for as long as you needed him to, feels too good. Too good it doesn’t seem real.

But when you jolt under his arms, he knows it’s real.

And as much as he loved the idea of you right beside him like this, he hated the fact that you were suffering and hurting right before his eyes.

You startle in your sleep again, a jolt that’s stronger than the first, your body trembling from its after effects. You’re having another nightmare, Mark believes, and he’s almost sure it’s a replay of one of the events you’ve had to witness in the past few weeks. Nights have consisted of these, of him losing sleep just to he can make sure you’re getting yours, of him holding you close because you’ve told him it helps you sleep better, of your nightmares seeming too real you jolt awake in tears.

Mark begins to rub your back with his palm in a soothing manner in hopes of putting your nightmares to rest. The shaking stops momentarily and that’s when your consciousness brings you back to life, making you flutter your eyes open only to be greeted by Mark’s orbs that are already staring at you.

“Nightmare?”

You force a small smile before you move closer to rest your head against his chest, “Mhm,” breathing a sigh of relief at his warmth. “Taeyong, this time.”

Mark has apologised to you a thousand times before, so much so that you’ve had to stop him from ever saying those words to you because even without vocalising how sorry he was, you already felt it. You felt it in the way he tended to all your needs during the aftermath of it all, in the way he looked at you with sad eyes and in all the ways he’s made extra effort to look after you even in the smallest ways. Mark didn’t have to say he was sorry, his body gave him away too much, it always has.

But Mark has never felt even more compelled to say sorry than now, at times where you can’t sleep at night. Because at the end of the day, he will still always feel responsible for your suffering now, no matter how many times you’ve reassured him.

“Please don't say sorry,” you murmur into his chest, Mark’s eyes widening at your words that correlated with his thoughts. “Please,” you lift your head away from his chest and crane your neck to look up at him, “Don’t say it.”

And Mark understands.

“Okay,” he breathes. “I won’t.”

You let your eyes linger on his sparkling ones, captivated by the thousand galaxies they held, even in the darkness of the room. They’re searching yours, looking for something, anything he can possibly hold on to so that he doesn’t feel the need to say sorry any longer, something that can tell him you’re okay now.

“I feel safe with you,” you almost whisper, meaning every word, gazing straight into his painfully crystal eyes that are reflecting you.

Mark doesn’t move, letting the words sink in because if there was anything else in this world he wanted you to feel around him, it would be safety and security. And knowing that now, those words coming right from the deepest part of you, relieves him in so many ways he didn’t expect, from having been on edge the moment he chose to drag you into his life.

He knows you mean it, but a small part of him wants to make sure, “You do?”

You nod, bringing your thumb to swipe across his cheek repeatedly. “I do,” you smile, feeling him lean into your touch, “I feel the safest with you.”

Mark doesn’t remember the last time he cried because he isn’t the type to and never in a million years did he imagine he’d be on the verge of tears from having heard those words come out from you. But then again, they’re words he’s been longing to hear, and it’s coming from the one person he’s always wanted to hear it from.

“You don't know how happy that makes me,” Mark whispers back, a smile now lifting on his face, his cheekbones appearing in the dark. “That’s all I ever want.”

You mirror his smile, content to have put his worries and doubts to sleep, his smile reaching his glistening eyes. “Hey, what time is it?” You ask.

“A little past two in the morning.”

“Let’s go for a walk?”

Staying in Johnny’s for the meantime house had a lot of pros, and one of them was that you had access to the beach in no less than two minutes. It’s a full moon tonight, the bright light it emits shining through the few clouds and reflecting right onto the gentle waves lapping by the shore. You’re warm in Mark’s hoodie, one of the many things you missed during your time apart and he reaches for your hand and laces it with his fingers, like it’s the most natural thing for him to do. But you smile anyway, because his hand feels warm in yours and he’s smiling gently at you with a gaze so soft it can melt your entire being.

It all feels nostalgic, remembering the very last time you were here was with Mark and with the discovery of him being your soulmate. You remember how scared and confused you were then, wondering what the future had in store for you. But tonight, there was none of that. It felt right to be here, to be here with Mark and even though you still had no clue what the future held for you, you didn’t seem to mind it too much anymore, because you knew that you weren’t going to be fighting for your life anymore.

You let your bare feet sink into the sand as you traipse along the shore, the stillness of the air soothing you, untying the knots in your muscles you weren’t aware had formed. Mark falls in step with you and you feel his eyes linger on you, not even one short moment passing where you don’t feel his gaze on you.

“Mark, I’m going to melt if you keep staring like that,” you say without even looking at him, catching him off guard.

Mark chuckles bashfully and finally tears his eyes off of you, “Sorry.”

The sound rings in your ears and it makes your heart stop momentarily, remembering just how endearing this man was. No one speaks for a few moments, allowing the gentle sounds of the waves take over and that’s when you realise you’ve never really talked about soulmate aspect of your relationship with Mark, the only time it ever really came up was when he confessed. So you decide to ask him tonight.

“Mark?” You call out, making his head turn. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

You purse your lips together as Mark anticipates your question before you finally muster the courage to ask, “When... you found out, about, you know, about me being your soulmate,” you pause, looking upwards to see him react. He only nods at you with a smile, urging you to continue. “How.. how did you feel?”

Mark draws in a breath as he looks away from you, looking straight into the distance to help himself find an answer. He begins to think back to that time, when he unintentionally came across that picture of you and your mark. “I felt curious, I guess. I mean I never really believed in the whole soulmate thing you know? Or, well, I mean I didn't believe in it happening to me. I just never thought about it up until that point.. that I actually have one. But-- it’s not that I didn’t believe in them completely, Johnny found his.”

“And then I found out you were mine. I felt shocked because wow, I actually do have one, someone out there exists for me. But then you turned out to be the person I had to...” Mark trails off and looks at you with a shrug of his shoulders and you get what he’s trying to say. “Fast forward, we began to live under the same roof, I got to know you over the few weeks that we had and if I'm being honest with you, I slowly started to understand why you’re my soulmate.”

Your brows shoot up, your curiosity growing, “Mhm?”

Mark laughs to himself awkwardly, avoiding your eyes as he uses his free hand to rub the nape of his neck. “This is going to sound really cheesy. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

You chuckle and urge him to continue speaking with a nudge, “I’m sure.”

Mark blows air out of his cheeks and braces himself, pretending to stretch his muscles in the process. He gives your hand a light squeeze and you return the favour to let him know you're all ears. “Okay, here goes. Have you ever noticed the way I've never talked about my family before?” You blink and then nod when you have no recollection whatsoever. “Well, that’s because I don't have any. I’m an orphan. I used to live on the streets y/n, for a really long time until Taeyong found me. And that’s how I got into the mafia.. the boys have similar stories, and that’s why we owe everything to Taeyong.”

You feel Mark hold your hand tighter and you prepare yourself for what he’s about to say next, comforting him by using your free hand to rub his arm. “That mafia, the guys, this thing that I do, that was all I ever knew growing up. I didn’t have anything else. And I guess, a part of me, there was always, kind of, some place empty, you could say. I was looking for something I didn’t even know, just because, I didn’t feel enough. I- I, didn’t know what it was like to feel.. complete.”

Mark stops in his steps and turns to face you, your heartbeat pounding and your knees growing weak because you see something in his eyes you haven’t noticed before. “But then.. you. You changed all that. You’re my soulmate because, you,” Mark pauses to smile, bringing both of his hands to cup your cheeks. “You fill all the empty spaces. You, you make me feel complete. And for the first time I'm not wondering what I'm missing, because I finally have it,

I.. finally have you.”

You’re not sure how you’re not crying yet but you can definitely feel the tears brimming your eyes. “God, I'm so glad you feel the same way,” you blurt out in a breath, half laughing to yourself incredulously.

Mark’s eyes widen, “What?”

You chuckle as your first tear falls, “It means I like you too, idiot.”

Just when you thought Mark’s eyes couldn’t get any bigger, they do, “You do?”

“Mark, I’ve lost count of all the times I thought I was going to die..” You start, just as Mark runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away your tear. “And then I met you and a part of me, a big part of me wished and hoped my soulmate would’ve been you because God, everything with you just felt so right. I felt so safe and secure and it was a feeling I never knew existed but couldn't get enough of..”

Your breathing starts to become uneven when the tears don’t stop, but Mark doesn’t drop his gaze and never stops catching your tears.

“After years of running away, for the first time, I, I felt at peace,” you muster a weak smile, your vulnerability on full show.

You step away from Mark, using the back of your hand to wipe away the remainder of your tears. You turn your back to him and bundle up your hair to one side before you're tugging down at his hoodie to show him your mark on the nape of your neck. Mark, having seen it for the first time in real life, thinks it’s beautiful, that tonight, you've proven him it was actually possible for you to be even more beautiful than you already were.

“This mark,” you say, your back still facing him. “Our marks, do you know what they symbolise?” You turn to face him again when he doesn’t answer, fixing his hoodie on your body. “It symbolises peace Mark, and it fits so well because you’re my peace.”

Mark falls for you even harder than the previous times.

“Why are you crying?” You ask with a breathy laugh, another set of tears falling when you see Mark’s.

Mark laughs and is quick to wipe away his tears. He shrugs his shoulders after, “I don’t know. I'm just really happy.”

You reach to embrace him and he holds you tight by the waist, nuzzling his nose into your shoulder and hoping for this moment to never end. You run your fingers through his hair, a sigh of relief and contentment leaving you to finally have everything off your chest.

When Mark pulls away, his hands never leave you, lifting them both up to hold carrels your cheek and neck. He’s looking straight into your eyes, his orbs shining like they always do, and there’s so much adoration and affection in them and knowing that they’re all for you makes you feel overwhelmed all over again.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, leaning forward to lean his forehead against yours.

You close your eyes to relish in the feeling of having Mark so close like this, “Yes.”

Mark takes another moment to study your features, mentally thanking the heavens for blessing him with someone as painfully amazing as you.

Then he kisses you.

And you swear that nothing has ever felt this right in your whole life ever.

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 4 years

Text

Banished (Part 51)

~Banished~

Word Count: 10K

~Master~

*Based off episode 4x06 of the 100, We Will Rise*

*Bold/Italics are Trig!*

Previous episode...

---

The fire on Alpha station was put out as your people worked together, the rain falling from the sky providing help as well. Jaha stood in the middle of camp, looking at the destroyed ship with a somber face as Jasper walked up.

Jasper looked up into the sky, the rain falling on his face. “It’s not black rain.”

Jaha continued to look at the Ark, broken to pieces and no longer offering survival. “It will be colorless when it comes.”

“How are we gonna know?” Jasper asked him as he continued to look up in the falling rain.

“Pain.” Jaha sighed. “Chaos. Death.”

Jasper rolled his eyes as he listened. “Same old, same old then.” He smirked before looking around. Children were curled into their parents, some coughing and some sleeping before Jasper saw the frown still on Jaha’s face. “Jeez, cheer up Jaha. Once you accept there’s nothing to be done, there’s nothing to worry about.” Jasper didn’t find one problem with Alpha Stations destruction. He had no plans to be inside when Praimfaya hit anyways.

There was a group of men, stock piling parts of the ship that had fallen and still reusable as Jaha watched on. “We’ll find a way.” He said before Jasper chuckled.

“I found a way.” He whispered. “If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.” Jasper jokingly quotes Dr. Seuss as he walked away, leaving Jaha to mull over his words as the man pulled out the pendent from the dead man you all found in the bunker. He’ll find a way to survive

---

Following Ilian’s decision to set fire to the ship, he was put in the cell to keep him safe and to make sure he doesn’t pull another stunt. Kane stood next to you, asking if you were alright from your coughing when the angry mod ran past you. It didn’t take a genius to know they were going for Ilian. Kane called for the guard as you both ran after them. By the time you arrived, Ilian was already being beaten, covered in his own blood as you and Kane both tore people off him. One man hit you in the mouth and kicked your left foot out from under you, before you realized Kane pulled out his gun. Yet you had already landed on your knee, laying on the ground with a split lip and a throbbing leg.

He fired 3 shots into the air.

The shouting ceased as everyone looked to Kane. He aimed the gun at the crowd, getting them to backup from Ilian. “I will shoot the next person who touches this man, so help me!” He threatened as people looked around deciding it wasn’t worth it. Kane stuck a hand out to you, helping you off the ground as you touched your lip, feeling the slight blood coating as you patted it away. Kane continued to look at the crowd, daring anyone to attack, but they didn’t and chose to leave. “Good choice.” When the last person left the room, including the guard, Kane dropped the gun and looked to see your lip. “Go check with Clarke, let her take a look at you.” He told you but you shook your head.

“I don’t need to get checked out, it’s just a lip.”

“And your leg?” He motioned down at you limping enough for him to notice. You sighed and avoided looking at him. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, Kane.” You told him, getting him to stop worrying. You nodded towards Ilian groaning on the ground. “But he might not be. Let’s just get him to the med bay.” You started to help Ilian up before realizing Kane was helping. He was too busy just watching you, noticing how tired you were. “Earth to Kane. You planning to help or are you just going stand there and let me do all the work?” Sighing lightly, he put his gun away, and threw Ilian’s other over his shoulder as you dragged him to the med bay.

---

“Stage two re-entry in 5” The computer informed Raven before it started to count down. She was sat in the rocket, looking at the screens in front of her as she worked the shaking rocket.

She pushed herself on. “Come on, you can do this.” She muttered, more focus than ever.

“Main booster engaged. Fuel levels critical and dropping fast.” The computer was finished counting down as Raven looked to the fuel, seeing it at 20%.

“No, no, no!” She chanted, trying her best to push on despite the warnings being yelled at her. The fuel hit 0% as Raven grunted, trying to make the rocket last.

“Warning. Brace for impact.” Raven was still stressing, hoping the rocket would pull through. Fire exploded on the screen in front of her as she groaned and leaned back in her seat, the lights in the rocket turning off. “Mission fail.” The screen lit up red as Raven read over the report of her failed simulation. “Exterior damage 100%. Cargo Damage 100%. Fatality 100%”

“Way to go, Raven.” Murphy was outside the rocket, playing with a toy car as he spoke over the speaker in his ear to the one in Raven’s. “Nuclear death wave 42, mankind 0.”

Raven rolled her eyes as she turned on her microphone. “Do you want to get in here and try it?”

“Nah, kind of busy out here.” He told her, focusing on his toy car. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for everyone in the world dying.”

Raven was getting irritated by Murphy’s presence as she went over her failed simulation. “Abby said you had to watch. No one said you had to weigh in.” She reminded him.

Murphy chuckled softly. “That’s me, always going above and beyond. Speaking of, you keep starting your fuel at 75%. Maybe that’s your problem.”

“Pay attention. 10 barrels of hydrazine is all we have at Arkadia. If there was more, then I wouldn’t be having a landing problem.” Her sentence stopped as a headache ripped through her brain, making her pause and hold her forehead. “Damn it.” She groaned.

Murphy stopped playing with the car, looking back to the rocket. “You okay in there?”

“I’m fine. Shut up.” She snapped at him.

Murphy wasn’t deterred from her attitude. “Do you want me to wake up the doc?”

Raven’s headache started fading as she denied his question. “I’m good.” She said. She started to set up the simulation again, setting the fuel gage to 75%. “I’m running it again.”

Murphy sighed. “Sure. 28th time’s a charm, right?” He joked sarcastically as Raven ignored him, starting the simulation up again.

“Simulation starting.” The computer told her before the rocket on the screen launched into space, letting Raven try again.

---

Clarke woke up in her bed early the next morning, forgetting any idea of sleeping in. She reached over to her nightstand, grabbing her shirt that sat on top. She was about to pull it over her head before seeing a drawing she had done ages ago of Lexa before she passed hung onto Clarke’s wall. A pang in her heart caused Clarke to stop, just living in the memory of her deceased ex-girlfriend.

“Don’t you sleep?” Clarke finished throwing her shirt on before turning around and smiling at Niylah laying in Clarke’s bed. “Everyone needs rest, Clarke.” Clarke sighed in content as she moved across the room to pick up her pants. “There she goes.”

“I have to.” Clarke reminded her as she slipped on the last article of her clothes. “Going to the island today to bring rocket fuel to my Mom and Raven so they go into space to make Nightblood. It’s now officially our only hope.”

Niylah nodded softly, feeling the guilt in her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop that boy from destroying your home.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have left you and Octavia.” Niylah was about to object but Clarke didn’t let her get a word in. “Besides, now we don’t have to worry about kicking 450 people out when the death wave hits or sharing it with Azgeda.” Clarke assured her, remembering when you had told her about promising half of Alpha to Ice Nation, not that it mattered anymore.

“Lexa would be proud of you.” Niylah said as Clarke stopped dressing for a moment, sparing a glance up. “We’re all your people. She believed that, too.” Niylah stood out of the bed, walking over to Clarke. “She lives on through you.” Niylah was trying to get Clarke to understand, but the look on Clarke’s face told Niylah she was thinking of something else. “What is it?”

Clarke looked her in the eyes. “I want you to stay here. You can stay in my room until I get back.” Clarke said but Niylah just shook her head.

“Clarke, I’m not asking for anything more than this moment. That’s how I live.”

“I know.” Clarke said as she grabbed her hand. “But Niylah please, once we solve Nightblood, it’ll be distributed to Arkadia and Polis first. I’d feel better knowing you were here to get it.” Niylah stayed silent, thinking over Clarke’s offer before smiling with a nod. “Good.” Clarke smiled as well. “I’ll let med bay know they have an extra hand.”

After Clarke threw her jacket on, she pulled Niylah to her, embracing in a kiss before pulling away. “Now go save us all.” Clarke nodded, sharing one last look with Niylah before leaving.

---

The plan for today was for Clarke and Bellamy to take the hydrazine to the lab. Roan was going as well to supervise, not trusting Skaikru not to betray him. Right now, you were listening to Monty tell you, Bellamy, Kane and Roan about the outcome of yesterday’s disaster. “Sectors 3, 4 and 5 had sustained the most damage. We lost the server room, all of our processors, life support systems, and half our living quarters. Backup power will keep the lights on at night in the room that survived, but there will be no heat or running water. And no way to restore it or reseal the ship before the radiation gets here.”

You nodded your head, trying to keep yourself from biting and hurting your cut lip more. “Is there any good news?” Bellamy asked as you agreed, not at all seeing a good part to this.

“No one died.” Kane said as you turned your head to look at him, seeing him staring past you to Bellamy.

“Forget the Ark.” Clarke called out as you all turned to look at her. She stood next to Kane. “It was never going to save us all anyway. We need to focus on the Nightblood situation. Is the fuel loaded?”

“It’s in process, but Clarke, it’s not going to be an easy ride.” Bellamy told her and you nodded slowly, looking towards Roan.

He met your eye briefly before Clarke caught on, growing concerned. “What don’t I know?”

Roan cleared his throat. “With the secret of Praimfaya out, I sent Echo and my army back to Polis to keep peace.”

“That’s good. We can’t distribute the cure without peace.”

“More than half of them deserted along the way. With the end coming, they want to be home. I don’t blame them.”

Clarke nodded, her face falling somber. Bellamy jumped into the conversation. “Do you blame them for burning Trikru villages on the way?” He asked and you smacked his arm lightly enough to get his attention, sending him a frown.

“That’s funny coming from you.” Roan spit back and your frown shifted to him.

“Stop, both of you.” You said to them, crossing your arms in front of you. Bellamy’s eyes furrowed as he watched Roan stare at you but you weren’t focused on him, instead your attention was on Kane as he spoke and put a hand on your upper back.

“We know the woods are a war zone.” He looked down at you, seeing you subconsciously rub a finger across the split on your lip as you listened. “After what happened to Ilian,” you tore your hand away, now aware of your actions as Kane looked up at Bellamy, “I can’t spare many of the guard to protect you.”

Bellamy sighed, giving him a thin smile as Roan spoke up. “My security detail can protect us.” He offered.

“Thank you.” Kane told him. “That’s very generous.”

Roan nodded looking around the table before ending at you. “We’re all in this together now.” He said before walking out.

Bellamy watched him leave, not missing you watching as well. “I’m going to go say goodbye to Octavia before we leave.” He muttered and you gave him a short smile he returned before leaving and Monty followed behind.

You were about to leave as well before overhearing Kane and Clarke’s conversation. “I’m going with you.” He said to the girl as you stopped right outside the doorway, out of view from Kane and Clarke.

“You can’t.” you silently agreed with Clarke as Kane reminded her that he was Chancellor. “That’s why you can’t go. After everything that happened this morning, out people need you here, now more than ever.” The look in Kane’s eyes made Clarke know why he wanted to go so badly. “I know you’re worried about my mother.”

Kane took a deep breath. “She’s going into space in a 100-year-old rocket. Do you have any idea how many things could go wrong?”

“Raven says the rocket’s intact.” Clarke promised. “She’d like a little more fuel, but as long as we get her what we’ve got, she said she’ll get them both back down safely.” Kane still wasn’t convinced as Clarke gave him a smile. “Look, we have to try. I’ll send her your love.”

You inhaled sharply, listening to Kane agree to Clarke’s statement. Did Kane love Abby? As long as you’ve known him, Kane’s never been in love before, or at least, you didn’t think he had.

Inside the room, Kane and Clarke shared an awkward hug before Kane walked out of the room, not seeing you as he went the other way down the hall. As soon as he was out, you walked back in, catching Clarke’s attention by your sudden reappearance.

“You got enough room for one more?” you asked as she furrowed her brows. “I figure it’s worth going. Roan doesn’t trust anyone but me, and I don’t think Bellamy’s so keen on the idea of Roan being there in the first place.”

“You don’t want to stay here?”

“Yeah, I think I wanna risk getting a black eye to match my lip.” You joked and chuckled, but Clarke didn’t laugh. She couldn’t even offer you a smile and you knew she was worried about the trip. You put your hands on her shoulders. “Look, I know you don’t trust Roan, and I know you don’t trust his men, but the only way we’re getting through this today is letting them protect us. Abby and Raven need the hydrazine. I’m not seeing another option here.”

“You’re right.” She sighed and you dropped your arms. You gave her one more grin before leaving her alone.

---

Octavia laid on her side in the med bay, facing away from the entrance as she watched the numerous people bouncing around and helping the people wrapped in bandages. Bellamy walked inside, immediately seeing his sister as he stood behind her. “You gave us a scare.” He said, trying to break the ice. He was immensely happy his sister was alive, but she didn’t anything to do with Bellamy choosing to ignore him instead. “You saved so many people, O. Without you getting here to warn us Azgeda was coming, we’d be at war.”

“Get out.” She growled at him.

Bellamy took an unsteady breath. “Octavia, I thought you were dead.” He kept his voice soft, quiet to not crack.

“Octavia is dead.” She mumbled, staring straight ahead, numb to the emotions she should be feeling. “She died when you killed Lincoln.”

Bellamy’s heart was breaking. “Please don’t say that, O. I’m your brother.”

She turned around, slowly looking Bellamy in his eyes. “Why do you think you’re still alive.” When she turned back around, Bellamy could feel his chest constrict and he couldn’t be in here any longer. He left his sister in the med bay to hate him as she stared off, detaching herself from the world.

---

The rover was being filled by Monty and a few Arkadia soldiers, Roan watching them as you tried not to limp up to him, your arms crossed in front of you when you got his attention. “Bellamy, Clarke, and I are riding in the front. You and your men will ride in the back with the fuel.”

Roan nodded his head, but one of his men listening in didn’t like the idea. “The King of Azgeda follows no one.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “He will if he has no plans on dying today. Besides, I think your King can speak for himself.”

“It’s all right, Seiku.” Roan interrupted, raising an eye at you. “Best we stay out of sight for now.” Seiku nodded, sending you a slight glare you gave a sarcastic smile too.

As Seiku left, Bellamy walked right past you, looking upset but he didn’t stop to talk, only saying it was time to go. The last barrel was put in the rover as Monty jumped off and Clarke walked up, joining you and Roan. “We ready?” you asked as Monty nodded.

“Locked and loaded. I do, however, feel the need to reiterate, you’re about to drive the last 10 barrels of hydrazine known to man, a cargo which Raven needs every last drop of, through hostile territory packed with warring clans, over uneven roads where one serious bump could cause an explosion that would not only kill all of you but wipe out mankind’s only remaining chance at survival.” Monty’s words weren’t comforting at all, every bad situation running through your head.

“So, no pressure?” you joked obviously feeling all sorts of pressure.

Roan looked to you, Monty doing so as well as his face remained stoic. “No, Y/N. Lots of pressure.”

You sighed, nodding your head just a little. “That was a…” Monty didn’t let you finish before he walked away. You watched him leave as you finished your thought. “joke.”

Roan watched your face fall. “Everything okay?”

You looked up at him, nodding your head as fast as you could. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m- I’m fine. Just uh, I’ll be right there.” You didn’t wait for Roan to answer as you took off after your friend. “Monty!” Monty let out a huff as he stopped walking, turning annoyed to see you jog up to him. “Are we good?” you asked as you stood in front of him.

“Fine.” He shrugged but didn’t spare a glance to you.

You waited, just a second to see if he’d add more before you let out a rather sad chuckle. “Really? Because a week ago if I asked you that, you would’ve given me more than just fine.” You waited for Monty to say something more again, but he stayed silent, only making eye contact. You sighed, remembering the one thing that had changed since a week ago. “If this is about me shock lashing Jasp-“

“You didn’t need to shock him!” He interrupted you, yelling a little and catching the attention of a few people around, Including Clarke, Roan and Bellamy who watched from the rover at Monty’s voice.

You swallowed, keeping your voice calm. “I’m sorry, Monty. He was going to read the list out, at the time-“

“It seemed like the right thing?” he stopped you, filling in the rest of your sentence. You couldn’t look at him, knowing he was hitting the nail on the head. Monty scoffed at you. “You know, Clarke and you aren’t the only ones doing what they think is right for the people.” Monty backed away from you and you felt completely awful.

You turned around, frowning when you realized Bellamy, Clarke and Roan were all still watching. You took a deep breath and approached them. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get this show on the road.” You climbed into the front seat without another care, hearing the door close before you let out a shaky breath and closing your eyes as Bellamy got inside, Clarke jumping in the backseat.

While Bellamy was hurting himself after talking to his sister, he comforted you, taking his hand in yours as you sat in silence and waited for Monty’s all clear before he steered out of Arkadia.

---

Continuing his amusement while Raven worked, Murphy was throwing a ball against the wall, catching it as it bounced back. After another failed attempt at the simulation, Raven let out a scream. Murphy wasn’t surprised as he talked to her over the earpiece. “All work and no play makes Raven a dull girl.” Murphy mumbled as he tossed the ball again. Inside the rocket, Raven was growing mad at Murphy as she climbed out. Murphy furrowed his brow. “You alright?” He asked but Raven was furious.

“I’ve had enough of your stupid, little jokes!” She yelled and pushed his chest away, moving past as Murphy watched her.

“Why don’t you take it easy, huh?” He told her. Raven stopped in her tracks, turning to look at Murphy with a glare.

She narrowed her eyes as she stepped closer. “Well you’re just a self-loathing bottom-feeder. Abby’s an idiot for trusting you.” Raven got in Murphy’s face, trying to intimidate him as she spoke. “She doesn’t know you like I do.” Murphy scoffed, turning away to not let her get the satisfaction her words were getting to him. “You’re a leech, Murphy. Sucking people dry and taking whatever you can so that you can survive.”

Murphy wasn’t going to sit there and let Raven berate him like this. “At least I’m not a mental patient like you, Raven.” He pushed past her but Raven didn’t let him get far.

She grabbed his arm, pulling him back and as he was forced to turn, she swung her fist into his face. “I hate you!” She screamed over and over again, her fist laying into Murphy repeatedly. The only way Raven stopped hitting him was when Luna, who had woken up at the sound of Raven’s yells, wrapped her arms around Raven and pulled her away. “Get off me!” Raven shouted as she tried to fight the hold.

Luna brought Raven to the ground, making Raven fall into her lap. “Breathe!” Luna stressed to the angered girl. “Breathe.” Raven still fought back, was Luna was getting through.

“Should I go get Abby?” Murphy asked as he watched Luna calm her.

“No.” Luna said, looking up briefly at Murphy before focusing on Raven. “Listen to my voice Raven. Breathe in, breathe out.” She took a deep breath before speaking in Raven’s ear and rocking Raven back and forth. “I give myself to the miracle of the sea.” She whispered. “Say it Raven. Say it. I give myself,” She paused, waiting as Raven repeated after her, “To the miracle,” Raven repeated again, “of the sea.” The calming technique worked as Raven cried silently in Luna’s lap, sitting up and feeling Luna’s gloved hand rub her shoulder. “I know the darkness.” Luna said to assure Raven it was alright. “It’s okay.”

Raven took a moment to herself, running her hand over her face before her wet eyes met Murphy. Slowly she rose to her feet, Murphy eying her carefully. “Let’s go again.” Raven told him before she took off for the rocket.

Murphy scoffed softly, not surprised in Raven’s apology absence. “She’ll be alright.” Luna promised him and Murphy held back an eye roll. “Will you be?”

Not sparing her a glance, he answered. “The darkness can kiss my worthless ass.” He muttered before ripping the communication piece out of his ear and tossing it to Luna. “You’re the new Raven-sitter.” He told her before walking off, laying a kick to the remote-controlled car he was playing with earlier before leaving, completely down with Raven and her rocket.

---

Bellamy had let go of your hand a while ago to be able to drive and the three of you stayed silent. You’d been driving for a while before you finally spoke up, turning to look at Bellamy with a frown. “You want to talk about it?” You asked, seeing his face fall slightly. You spoke softly, hoping Clarke wouldn’t listen in from the back, but not particularly caring if she does.

“Keep your eyes on the trees.” He said, trying to avoid the conversation, but you wouldn’t let him.

“Well, I want to talk about it, whenever you do.” You could see Bellamy processing your words as he reached over, taking your hand and squeezing slightly before grabbing the wheel again. You bit your lip. “She’ll forgive you. It’ll take time, but she will.” This wasn’t the first time you had to assure him, but it wasn’t that easy to Bellamy.

“We don’t have much time left, do we?” He raised a brow at you and you swallowed thickly, letting your gaze fall from Bellamy.

“Yeah, you were probably right, better not to talk about it.” You muttered and looked out the front window. Bellamy turned to you, feeling bad for making you even more upset than you were after speaking to Monty. He was about to say something before the road turned and you happened across a group of grounders. “Guys.” you said, shifting in your seat to look between them and him. Clarke moved to look between you guys.

“What is it?” She asked as you all stared out the window.

Bellamy put a hand on your lap before grabbing the radio to speak to the rest of the convoy. “Hang on. We’ve got a situation.” He spoke into the radio as you sighed, realizing what it was. “Looks like a Trikru checkpoint.” Bellamy said, sharing a look with you. In the truck with the fuel, Roan and his men stood up, aware that the truck shouldn’t have been stopping.

“They have wounded.” You pointed out, sharing a look with Clarke in the back. “It’s not a checkpoint.” You both started out of the rover before Bellamy stopped you.

“Y/N, no.”

You looked at him and let out a surprised scoff. “They could be hurt and you’re saying no to helping them?”

Bellamy’s face soften, realizing what it sounded like. “No, I’m saying you can’t help them. Besides, what are they going to do when they see Skaikiler?” It was then that you both realized Clarke had already left the rover to check out the wounded. “Clarke!” Bellamy called after her, groaning when he realized it was worthless. The guys in the truck behind you called up, asking what Clarke was doing as Bellamy gave you the side eye. “Being Clarke. No one gets out.” He told them before throwing the radio down and looking at you. “Stay here.”

You couldn’t get a word in but as soon as Bellamy was out of the rover you huffed. “Screw this, I’m leaving the rover.” You muttered and opened your door, sliding out as Bellamy turned at the sound, his face falling when he saw you join them.

“Wanheda. Skaikiler.” One man said, his eyes wide as they looked between you and Clarke.

“What happened here?” Clarke asked.

The man sighed and his face fell completely. “Azgeda burned our villages to the ground. My father caught an ax with his leg and we can’t stop the bleeding.” Clarke, the man, and Bellamy all rushed over to the older man laying on the ground. You stayed back, watching from a far as well as keeping your eye on the other men and women around. Some of them seemed to be watching you curiously as Clarke tried to help.

You tried to avoid the stares you were getting as you turned back to the convoy, seeing a little boy looking at the back truck. This wasn’t going to end good. “Bellamy.” You mumbled, getting his attention as he turned, eyes widening as Clarke and him both saw the kid. You started back to the rover

“There’s nothing we can do.” Clarke told the man as she stood up, Bellamy and her asking for the road to be cleared as the man shouted for his people to move before asking for a ride to Polis. You watched the kid carefully, making sure he wasn’t going to check the back of the rover where you had Roan and his men hid, but the kid made no plan to move.

“Hey kid!” You shouted as he stopped walking and looked at you heading towards him. “Why don’t you get away from there.” you called out but he just took one big step back, looking right into the back.

“Azgeda!” He shouted as your eyes widened. A hand landed on your arm and you were about to push it away before seeing it was Bellamy.

“Get in!” He yelled at you. You opened up his door and Bellamy helped you in because of your leg as you pushed your way through to sit in your seat as Clarke climbed in the back and Bellamy took his own seat. You were moving as fast as you could but Trikru grabbed their weapons and shot towards Roan and his men in the back.

As soon as it was clear, you leaned back in your chair, letting your eyes close as your calmed down. “Well, that went well.” You joked. In your head, you were thankful you got out of the rover, if you hadn’t seen the boy, who knows when or even if Clarke and Bellamy would’ve. Bellamy didn’t say anything, just looking at you out of the corner of his eye, seeing your eyes closed. You groaned as you felt the rover stop and opened your eyes. “What now?” You asked before seeing the running water.

Bellamy picked up the radio again, telling the other truck about the problem. The three of you climb out of the rover. “Murphy didn’t say anything about a river.” Clarke pointed out as you licked your lip feeling the healing split. You pulled your leg up a little, feeling the discomfort in your knee before letting it fall again with a huff.

“What else could go wrong?” Bellamy asked sarcastically. You turned around at the sound of another footsteps, seeing Roan join you three.

“The ice melted.” He pointed out as you sighed, running a over your face. “I’ll find us a place to cross upstream.” Roan offered and started up the rivers side.

He didn’t get far before Clarke stopped him. “Take the rover. You’ll cover more ground and it’s safer.” She looked at Bellamy at the end of her statement, meaning she was suggesting Bellamy go with him.

“With him?” Bellamy clarified.

“Bell, we have to get across the river.” You reminded him, offering a sad smile. “I’ll go with you.”

“You should stay here.” Clarke pulled you aside as she gave you a look.

“I can go.”

“You should rest your leg.” You scoffed and raised your brow at her. She just rolled her eyes at you. “I know it hurts Y/N. Just stay back with the truck, I’ll watch them.”

Your face softened, knowing she was right and your leg had been bothering you since you were rushed into the rover. “Alright. You got a deal Griffin.” You smiled at her before looking to Bellamy. “I’ll guard the fuel.”

When Bellamy realized you wouldn’t be going with him, he didn’t like the idea. “You’re staying here?”

You nodded and looked at Clarke. “I’ve been benched.” You joked, seeing Clarke smile momentarily before returning to her intense demeanor. Bellamy put his hands on his hips and looked at you. “I’ll be fine. Will you?” Your eyes flickered to Roan before back to Bellamy and it didn’t take Bellamy much to know you weren’t just talking about his safety.

“We won’t be gone long.” He told you and you narrowed your eyes slightly at him, seeing him crack a smile. “I’ll be fine.” You nodded, grabbing his hand briefly once Clarke and Roan had walked away and Bellamy climbed into the rover.

Roan walked around, taking your spot but before he could get inside Seiku stopped him. “My King, we should be going with you.”

Roan shook his head. “Nothing is more important than this cargo. Keep it safe.” He ordered and Seiku nodded and watched Roan climb into the rover and Clarke got into the back like she had earlier. Bellamy’s grip on the wheel was tight as you stood outside next to him. He looked out the window, seeing your attempt at a smile before he drove away, leaving you and the men with the fuel until they got back.

---

Murphy was having a hell of a good time in Becca’s office, repeating what Luna had said to Raven earlier. Only, he wasn’t doing so great. “I creep on myself… for the miracle… of a horny mistake.” Murphy mumbled, trying to figure out why it didn’t sound right. “I creep on myself…”

Luna entered the room, raising a brow at Murphy’s failed attempt. “It’s the intention that matters.” She spoke up, getting Murphy’s attention. He sighed as she got closer. “Raven needs you, John. She’s been in there a long time.”

“In case you haven’t realized, Raven hates my guts.”

“I don’t think that was her talking.” Luna told him as she replayed Raven’s outburst in her head.

“Oh, no it was.” Murphy stopped her. “You know that little limp she’s got? Yeah, that was me.”

“I don’t think she hates you as much as you hate yourself.”

Murphy didn’t want to listen to her talk about self-hate against himself. “Why do you even care about this? You’re the miracle, right? You’re gonna live through all this radiation either way.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be the last person on earth.”

“Why not? Because that kind of sounds nice to me.”

Luna shook her head at him before moving about the room. “I don’t believe that.”

“Then you don’t know me that well.”

Luna sighed and looked at him. “I know you stole that medicine for Adria.” She began. “I know you saved Raven from the drones.”

“I’m definitely rethinking that one right about now.” He interrupted her.

Luna’s face turned blank, done with Murphy’s attitude. “I know what it’s like to hate yourself John. Because of the color of my blood, I was raised to be a killer. The Flamekeepers harnessed my rage and taught me it was nobility. For years, I reveled in death and violence. I killed my own brother. Trust me when I tell you, if I found peace, so can you.”

Murphy was listening to her words, each one of them, but he wasn’t going to accept it. “I think peace is overrated.” He told her. “It’s the fighters that survive.”

And damnit, John Murphy was going to make sure he survived.

---

Octavia’s recovery in the med bay was getting better as Niylah helped her, stretching out her muscles in her leg by the limb to her chest. Octavia was holding her breath, trying to keep her pained expression neutral until Niylah pulled her leg away. “Stronger already.” Niylah smiled as Octavia finally breathed out. “You’ll be running around in no time.” The silence in the med bay felt weird to Niylah as she as looked around, only seeing Ilian handcuffed to a bed on the other side of the bed lines. “Where’s his guards?” She asked Octavia who shrugged, not caring enough about Ilian. Niylah sighed and slowly lowered Octavia’s leg. “That’s enough for now. I’ll come back soon.” Octavia nodded and let Niylah leave the room.

As soon as Niylah was left from the room, Ilian spoke up. “I’m glad you’re alive.” He told Octavia as he played with his ties.

Octavia clenched her jaw. “You won’t be soon.” She told him. “Jus drein, Jus daun.”

Ilian rolled his head to look at her before looking at the ceiling. “I killed no one.”

“Wrong. You killed them all.” Ilian swallowed thickly at her tone. “And now they’re gonna kill you.”

Ilian paused for a moment, thinking about his options. “I didn’t know about Praimfaya. You can tell them that. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“The sword doesn’t care about what you meant.” She stopped him. “It just cuts.” The silence before them settled and Ilian knew he was in danger.

---

The search for another way across the river came to an end as Bellamy, Clarke and Roan found a shallow path, enough to drive the rover through. “This will work.” Roan told them as they nodded and Clarke looked up to Bellamy.

“Radio Y/N and tell her?” She asked him and Bellamy agreed and pulled the radio from his pocket.

“Y/N come in. We found a crossing. Over.” He spoke directly into the call and waited to hear your voice, only it never came. “Cargo one, can you hear me? Over.” The three of their worries were increasing as you failed to respond again, Bellamy’s worries easily becoming the worst and by now they knew you weren’t alright.

“Something’s wrong.” Roan told Clarke and Bellamy as the three of them rushed to get into the rover again, heading back to see you and the fuel hopefully safe. Bellamy was driving as fast as he could to get back to you.

They reached to where they knew you were left with the truck, but you weren’t there. In fact, no one was there. “Be careful.” Clarke told Bellamy and Roan as they climbed out of the truck, looking around for any indication you were alright.

Bellamy pulled out the radio again, his voice frantic as he called you again. “Y/N, come in. Please tell me you’re alright. Over.” As the trio was looking around, Roan’s eyes flashed into the river, seeing a sack caught onto the rotted tree stuck in the ground.

“Over there!” He shouted and the three of them took off running. They were all equally worried as they drug it out from the water, knowing there was a body inside and terrified of whose. Bellamy stared at the symbol on the front before tearing the bag away. Inside wasn’t you, instead it was one of Roan’s men. “Seiku.” Roan mumbled and looked at his fallen soldier. He looked to Clarke and Bellamy. “We all know who did this.” He growled at them. “Trikru.”

“Where the hell are the others?” Clarke began looking around, walking into the water a little way to see if more body bags were caught.

“Where’s Y/N?” Bellamy filled in his desire to know, eyeing Roan carefully.

“They took the truck to Polis.” Roan reminded them of Trikru’s ask to join the convoy earlier. “That means at least one of yours is still alive.” They all exchanged glances before rushing to the rover and taking off. There was hope you were alive and that was enough.

---

In Arkadia’s dining hall, Jaha was sat at the bar, nursing a cup of moonshine as Hardy and the men behind him spouted off about Ilian, finding the fact he’s still alive despicable. “How much longer do we let them protect that son of a bitch? This ship was supposed to keep us alive and now we’re all gonna die.” Hardy shouted to his following as Niylah walked in, stopping in her tracks slowly as she took in the scene. The man was still talking as Niylah spotted Monty listening in.

She made her way over and whispered to him. “The boy he’s talking about is in med bay with no protection.” She told him. Monty’s eyes widened before Jasper passed him, holding a cup and moving to get more moonshine.

Monty tried to stop him before he could pour it. “You really think that’s a good idea?”

Jasper looked at him and shrugged. “Moonshine? Absolutely.” Jasper walked off, refusing his best friend’s help at recovery. Monty turned back to the crowd, talk of labeling Ilian’s actions as a hate crime and demanding he be killed for it.

Moving across the room, Monty sat beside Jaha, using a whisper voice to talk. “Are you okay with all this?” He asked knowing the people listen to Jaha.

Jaha just took the last sip of his drink. “They’re just blowing off steam.”

The statement earned a scoff from Monty as he got closer to Jaha. “Blowing off steam like we were when we strung up Murphy for killing Wells?” Monty knew it was a low blow and the look of anguish on Jaha’s face let him know he struck a nerve. Jaha asked for a refill on his drink as Jasper obliged. Monty was growing irritated as the group grew more determined for Ilian’s head. “They listen to you. Say something!” He begged. Jaha however, turned his back on Monty, refusing to offer help. “With all due respect, your son would be ashamed of you.” He headed towards the door, muttering to Niylah along the way. “I’ll get Kane.” She nodded and he was gone.

---

In an attempt to calm Raven down, Luna sat next to her in the lab, repeating her meditation mantra for Raven to hear, but the girl was not stopping. “I’ve strained the air brakes, adjusted the grid fins and I’ve reversed the thrusters.” Raven looked at the screen, hoping her changes worked but it didn’t. “Damn it! What am I missing?” Luna tried speaking louder, hoping to get in Raven’s head but Raven just groaned at her. “Mediating isn’t going to help me land this stupid ship.” She pointed out.

Murphy had left Becca’s office, standing above the lab as he watched Raven’s freak out. “No but it might keep your brain from blowing up.” He shouted as he made his way down the stairs.

At his voice, Raven’s head begun hurting and he pressed her hand to her forehead, scrunching her face up. “Oh good, he’s back.” She grumbled before focusing on the screen again. “Okay, think. To land this ship in one piece, calculating the re-entry trajectory has to be perfect, deploying the thrusters has to be perfect, the burn rate has to be perfect.”

Murphy looked to Luna with an amused smile. “Maybe perfect is your problem.” He blurted out.

Raven stopped her work. “What?”

Murphy rolled his eyes and moved closer. “Perfect sucks. Why care about perfection if Abby and you walk away with the magic potion, right?”

“A controlled crash is still a crash.”

Luna sat up from her spot and joined the duo. “Swim away.”

Raven’s head picked up as she caught on. “A controlled crash into the water. Luna, its brilliant!”

“I’m sorry, Luna?” Murphy asked taking offense in the fact it was basically his idea.

Raven ignored him as she checked to see if a water landing would work. “Damn it. The computer won’t let me execute a controlled crash.”

“Screw the computer Raven.” Murphy stopped her from getting upset. “Fly it yourself.”

She looked back at Murphy who nodded to the computer, waiting for Raven to try. “Switching to manual.” She told the computer. The computer accepted the manual override as Raven gasped and made her way to the rocket. Murphy sighed and he started to walk the opposite way, but Raven’s voice as she turned around stopped him. “Murphy! Thank you.” Murphy didn’t reply to the girl’s gratitude, not at all expecting it. He watched Raven climb back into the rocket, preparing the simulation to manually land the rocket in the water.

---

Bellamy was driving the rover even faster than he had before, this time knowing for a fact you were in danger. Roan sat in the front seat, Clarke poking her head between them as she gripped the seats.

“We have to get to them before they reach Polis with the fuel. They’ll use it to make bombs and kill everyone.” Roan told them as Bellamy scoffed.

“You mean they’ll use it to kill Ice Nation.” He corrected Roan with a side glare. “All you care about is your own people.”

Roan shook his head. “Like you’re any better. That’s all anyone cares about.” Roan paused for a minute, thinking about everything you’ve done for his people and him. “Except maybe Y/N.” he mumbled.

“Can you guys not fight about this right now?” Clarke asked as she kept her eyes out the front window. Bellamy sighed, remembering his promise before he left of being fine, meaning he wouldn’t be fighting with Roan exactly like he was now. Coming to a fork in the road, a body laid on the ground and the rover came to a halt. Bellamy was about to leave the rover before Clarke grabbed his shoulder. “Bellamy, wait.” She stopped him.

Bellamy didn’t understand why he was stopping. “They left a dead body, we can pick up their trail.” He started out again but Roan stopped him this time.

“Trikru burn their dead.” He reminded Bellamy, knowing Clarke had caught on already. “They’re still here. Back up now.” Roan ordered.

Bellamy just groaned, letting his head fall back against his seat before looking out his window. “There’s no one here. They’ve taken the truck, the fuel, and Y/N!” Bellamy reminded them both, looking at Clarke on your name for the sake of her knowing what it meant to him to find you. Turning to Roan, his voice turned cold. “If you’re such a good tracker, go track.”

It took only a second before the rover was being attacked. Trikru men jumped on the rover, rocking it enough for Clarke to stumble in the back. “You were saying?” Roan asked sarcastically to Bellamy who sent them a glare.

The Trikru grounder Bellamy spoke to earlier came running at Bellamy’s door as Bellamy pulled out his gun and pointed it at him. “I don’t want to shoot you.” Bellamy warned as the man put his hands in the air. “Where’s the truck? What have you done with it?”

“Give us the king.” The man told him and Roan was figuring out what happened.

“Bellamy.” Roan mumbled and got both Clarke’s and Bellamy’s attention. “The truck’s not here.” He told them. Bellamy’s gun was still trained on the man as he looked at Roan.

Clarke was confused as well. “How do you know that?” She asked.

“Because everyone does what’s best for their own people.” He mumbled, recalling the point of their argument just minutes ago. “It was my men who took it.”

While Roan’s back was turned, a man tried to thrust his sword through Roan’s window but Bellamy warned him, giving him the opportunity to move. At the same moment, the back door to the rover opened and Clarke jumped out of her seat to the door. The man who had opened it trying to get inside as she kicked him in the chest, sending him to the ground and he rolled off to the side. Clarke closed the door and locked it before facing front. “Bellamy. Drive!” she shouted and Bellamy didn’t need to be told twice before he backed up, knocking off a few of the men before the rover took off. The rest fell to the ground, staring off as the rover disappeared past the trees.

---

Octavia let her leg dangle off the edge of the edge of her bed as she swung her knee back and forth. She glanced over her shoulder to Ilian who laid unmoved on the bed as Kane walked in, Monty and Sgt Miller and a few more guards following after him. “Lock this room down. They’re right behind us.” The door was closed per Kane’s orders.

Monty looked at the empty room. “Where is everyone?” He asked Octavia.

“They’re out there with them.” She told him seconds before pounding occurred on the now locked door.

“Open this door!” Hardy shouted at them. Kane and David positioned themselves between the door and Ilian.

“Sir. Maybe we should reconsider.” David wasn’t so keen on fighting the mob against someone who most likely doomed humanity. Kane turned down his mention, not up for surrendering. “On the Ark, we floated people for less.”

Kane snapped at him. “Mob rule will not dictate justice in this camp.” Hardy knocked again hard, his demand for the door to open not changing.

Monty joined the men, knowing the mob wouldn’t let up. “We can’t let them in here, they’ll kill him.”

Kane took a deep breath and pulled out his gun to check the bullets. David was quick to put in his objection but Kane disagreed. “If we let them descend into darkness, there’s no coming back.”

Octavia had been listening in to everything. A dilemma was playing in her head. “It’s the end of the world Kane.” She said and everyone looked at her. “Darkness is all we have.” She stood up from her bed and hit the button to open the door despite the cries of no from Monty and Kane. Hardy and his crew filed into the room and Kane was quick to point his gun at their heads.

David was going through a dilemma of his own as well. Follow orders or do what he feels is right. His breath exhaled as slow and he pulled out his shock baton, pressing it into Kane’s back as the man fell to the ground. “I’m sorry.” He told Kane who was groaning on the ground.

Hardy grabbed Kane’s now discarded gun and stepped over him. Octavia didn’t let him get going, putting a hand on his chest. “You can have his blood, but the kill is mine.” Hardy took a moment but nodded in agreement and Octavia let him go.

Hardy’s men cut Ilian free and hoisted him to his feet despite Ilian being too weak to stand himself and they carried him out, following as Octavia now led the mob out of the med bay.

---

Since discovering it was his people who stole the truck and you, Roan and Bellamy hadn’t fought anymore. Clarke also provided a level head on their hunt as the three of the them kept their eyes sharp. Coming upon a field, Roan was the first to spot the truck driving through. “There they are!”

Bellamy sped up, stepping on gas in hopes to catch up to the rover and find you alright. What he didn’t know was you were the one sitting in the driver’s seat, one of Roan’s men sitting next to you as you drove. You were terrified but you refused to let them see it, remembering the knife you were threatened with earlier sitting in his hand. Movement caught your attention in your side mirror and after a double take, you realized your friends were coming to save you. You started to let your foot off the gas, hoping to give Bellamy enough leeway to catch up but you were caught. When the man sitting next to you saw your foot easing off the gas without a reason, he looked behind the truck, seeing the rover peak through from behind the fuel containers.

“Stop them.” He told his buddy in the back before pressing his foot on top of yours, making the truck speed up. “Keep going.”

Roan, Clarke and Bellamy watched as the man in the back started to grab the fuel barrels, bringing them to the edge of the truck as much as he could. “What the hell is he doing?”

“He’s weaponizing the fuel.” Clarke told them as her eyes grew wide.

Roan glanced back at her. “I thought you said we needed every drop.”

“We do!”

Roan turned back to Bellamy. “Get me as close as you can!” He shouted before climbing into the back. Clarke moved out of his way before shifting into his seat next to Bellamy.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Bellamy grumbled as Clarke watched Roan climb out of the top hatch.

Bellamy pulled the rover up to the side of the truck and Clarke’s eyes went wide at the sight of you driving. “Y/N?”

You looked out the window briefly, meeting Bellamy’s eyes as a knife was pressed to your neck and you were forced to look away. “Now! Roan, do it!” He shouted and Roan made his leap into the truck before Bellamy sped the rover up ahead of the truck after Clarke and him came up with a plan and he yelled at you to give him a clean shot.

Roan landed on the back with his hands on his own man and the fight begun. Roan was pinned over the barrels before he pushed the man away shoving him, but the man tripped him and Roan was pinned once again. A knife was pulled on Roan but Roan kicked it away and the man stumbled backwards as Roan got up. The fight went on, neither person winning as the fuel dragged to the edge of the truck slowly shifted every time the truck rumbled until it was hanging off. Roan had finally got the upper hand, shoving his thumb into the man’s eyes. He screamed and let his guard down enough for Roan to grab his knife from him and shove it into his chest. The man’s fighting stopped as Roan killed him, whispering traitor in his ear before kicking him off the truck. When Roan noticed the barrel moving, he grabbed it, saving it from falling as well.

One man was dead but the other still held a knife to your throat, forcing you to keep driving. You watched your boyfriend and Clarke drive ahead, you didn’t know what the plan was, but Bellamy wanted a clean shot, so obviously he had a plan. Right?

The rover stopped ahead of you, right in your path and your stomach dropped. What was he doing? When his door opened and Bellamy pointed a gun at the truck, you understood.

Bellamy hoped his plan would work, talking it over briefly with Clarke before he jumped out. His gun was pointed on the grounder, but he needed the shot. “Come on, Y/N. Come on, Baby.” He muttered to himself as he got ready.

The truck was still driving straight, your direction unmoving and as soon as the grounder saw Bellamy’s gun, he tried to turn the wheel. You threw your elbow into his nose, sending him away from you and Bellamy had his shot. The bullet pierced through the man’s head as you watched. Realizing the truck was still going, you slammed your foot onto the break, watching as Bellamy backed himself into the rover with Clarke in fear but you didn’t let it touch him as you brought the truck to a quick stop.

Once you got over the terrifying part about this situation, you couldn’t look away from Bellamy. You smiled at him, seeing his as well. Bellamy was relieved and proud at the same time seeing you drive the rover. He’d know you’d tell him they did all the work and you just managed to get kidnapped, and he was right, but he would still be proud of you.

---

Octavia was leading the mob out of the Ark, the people dragging Ilian behind her and once he was outside people began yelling at him, telling him he’s dead and supporting the mob. Monty and Kane followed the mob as well, keeping an eye on Octavia and Ilian.

“How do we stop this?” Monty asked Kane. Kane didn’t have an answer for him as Ilian was forced to the ground. Monty took off running to Octavia, hoping to break through to his friend. “Octavia, please don’t do this. You’re not a murderer.”

Octavia didn’t look as Monty as she mumbled and cocked her gun before aiming at Ilian’s head. “You’re wrong.”

Ilian looked up at her, right past the barrel of the gun. “Get it over with.”

From the door of the Ark, Jaha and Kane had a plan. “Sound the alarm, now.” Jaha spoke into his radio as Kane nodded at him. The alarm sounded in the camp, alerting everyone of the fake black rain.

“Black rain!” Kane yelled his lie as people started panicking. “Everyone get inside!” Kane and Jaha ushered everyone inside the ark until it was finally Kane, Jaha, Monty, and Octavia still holding a gun to Ilian’s head. Kane approached Octavia carefully. “Octavia. Put the gun down and come inside.” He said to her but she wouldn’t listen, her gun not leaving Ilian’s head. Kane tried something else. “They put Lincoln on his knees, too.” Octavia sucked in a breath as the memory of her deceased love filled her thoughts. “Pike stood right there where you’re standing when they put the gun against his head.”

Octavia’s hand started shaking as she thought back, remembering Lincoln falling to his knees, how he looked up to her, speaking his last words to her before Pike killed him. “I was there.” Her voice betrayed her as she let her eyes close and Lincoln’s face was all she could see.

When she opened her eyes again, her hand shook more and Kane tried again. “If you do this, you’re no better than he was.” Octavia couldn’t take holding her emotions anymore. She let them break free, dropping the gun to the ground as she sobbed. Kane jumped into comfort mood, holding her arm and mumbling assurances to her. “It’s okay. It’s okay Octavia.” Octavia ripped her arm from him as she continued to cry, needing to separate herself. She headed to the gate, starting to run as she heard Kane chase after her. “Octavia, wait! Where are you going?!” He yelled but Octavia didn’t stop running.

Kane didn’t chase her far, hoping she’s alright, but knowing she needed to be alone. He turned around in time to see Jaha cutting Ilian’s bonds and he asked Jaha what he thinks he’s doing. “Saving our people.” Jaha answered. “Same as you.” He pulled Ilian to his feet, whispering in his ear. “You should run.” Ilian nodded and groan as his feet started running, taking him away from the camp in the direction Octavia ran. “From the ashes we will rise.” Jaha spoke to Kane and Monty as they watched Ilian disappear, knowing the rest of Arkadia isn’t going to like the fact Ilian was gone.

---

After you and the fuel were saved, Clarke and Roan rode the rest of the way in the truck with the fuel as Bellamy and you rode in the Rover together. Bellamy hadn’t let go of your hand since you started the ride this time. Clarke and Roan rode in awkward silence before Clarke sighed. “You’re a good King Roan.” She said as Roan disagreed.

“A king who runs an errand while his people are at war in Polis.”

“This errand is the most important thing right now and you know that.” Clarke stopped him from hating on himself.

Roan still wasn’t at ease. “If we do save everyone, then what?” He asks, making Clarke think. “What happens once we’re all turned into Nightbloods? Do we just keep killing each other?” Clarke didn’t have enough time to answer before Bellamy spoke on the radio, telling them you’ve made it.

You jumped out of the rover once it came to a stop, looking out in the water. It was beautiful, the horizon meeting the sky seamlessly as you grinned. Roan offered to unload the fuel with Clarke giving her help as Bellamy approached you. He stood next to you, both of you staring out as he grabbed your hand.

“I’m gonna take the Rover back to camp.” He whispered as you broke out of your staring and furrowed your brows at him.

“You’re not coming with us?” you asked sadly, not wanting to leave him. He shook his head, his frown enough to tell you why. “It’s Octavia, isn’t it?”

“It’s pathetic, right?” He laughed at himself softly as you turned him to look at you. “She hates me but I keep coming back.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Bell. She’s your sister. She’s just,” you stopped yourself, trying to find the right words, “She’s just confused right now. She knows how special you are and how important you are. She’ll come back to you.”

Bellamy’s hand squeezed yours as you smiled, hoping he’ll see you were right. He hated thinking about leaving you, he wanted to stay with you and Clarke, but he knew he had to go back for his sister, unaware of the fact his sister just left the camp.

“You’ll come back to me, right?” His voice was quiet as you smiled and brought a hand up to his cheek, cupping it and running your thumb across it.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Blake.” You joked and Bellamy laughed, feeling slightly better in the promise you were coming back to him. You leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips as he held your waist, pulling you into him. It was a goodbye kiss and an I’ll-see-you-soon kiss all in one, but one that was also broke apart by Clarke calling you both. You separated, sharing confused looks before jogging back to the rover.

Roan and Clarke were in the truck bed and moved one of the barrels, it wasn’t until it was done moving before you saw the arrow piercing through the bottom. “Trikru arrow.” Roan said before kicking the barrel out of the truck. It clattered to the ground as you looked up at an equally defeated and stressed Clarke. You had 10 barrels and you needed every last drop.

---

“Manual override.” Raven spoke to the computer as she grabbed the rocket’s controls.

“Manual Override engaged.” The computer told her and she let out a steady breath to hype herself up. “Landing pad within range at 600 feet.” She focused on the screen, watching as the water came in view, the rocket heading right towards it as the computer prepared her. “Brace for impact.” The rocket simulation ended once she hit the water. “Mission failed.” Yet Raven wouldn’t consider it failed just yet. “Exterior damage 15 %. Cargo destruction 0%. Fatality 0%.”

Raven was shocked as she read over the outcomes again. “We’re good.” She mumbled. She started to unbuckle herself, a smile spreading on her face as she spoke louder. “We’re good!” She repeated herself happily once more as she stepped out of the rocket. “Took every last drop of fuel, but I did it. I can put her down on the water just offshore.” Murphy and Luna approached her slowly with frowns. “We can survive.” When their expressions didn’t change, Raven’s stomach dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“Clarke just radioed. They lost a barrel.”

“What?” Raven gasped out.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered but Raven couldn’t hear him. She started sucking in for a breath, her head paining her as she clutched it. “Raven?”

Raven’s seizure caused her to collapse on the ground. Murphy took off running, calling for Abby as loud and as fast as he could. Luna fell to the ground as well, trying her best to protect Raven’s head before seeing her mouth starting to foam. “Raven, it’s going to be okay. It’s okay, Raven.”

10 barrels.

Make that 9 now.

A/N: If you hadn’t, be sure to check out the Bonus Chapter!

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#bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake series #bellamy blake #bellamy blake the 100 #the 100 x reader #the 100 imagine #the 100 series #the 100 #banished #banished part 51 #part 51

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wesker20 · 5 years

Text

Fallen Hero 1.5 Episode 10: M.I.A.

Episode 9

Dock – Morning

Sometimes you wonder if the world likes toying with you. Whenever you decide to go back to your past, it always seems to happen in a cloudy day, threatening to rain at any moment. But alas, the rain is unimportant right now. What’s about to happen is. How long has it been? A very long time, more than a decade since you last saw Trevor. Your handler, the woman who was in charge of your team. An important person to the program too.

The cuckoo program existed long before you were even born, but up until you came along and then Trevor took charge of you, it was more of an arm of the Farm than an actual program. It was a last resort to the more proven and safer normal Re-genes. The problem of the Re-genes was always the simple fact that there were missions where if caught, the government could be in some serious problem. Normal human agents were used, yes, but more and more they ended up meeting with boosts who could find them out and take them out with little problem. And giving soldiers anything other than mods was not an option. So when absolute secrecy was needed but no one wanted to risk sending normal Re-genes and human agents, the cuckoos were sent instead. Expert infiltrator units that could walk into a place without anybody noticing. They looked and acted like normal people thanks to a more advanced education compared to the other units. Sometimes sent alone and other times sent in small teams, the cuckoos were a powerful weapon. Too powerful for some.

People like the good old General held the program back for years for fear that the extra education and free will would cause the new units to rebel. People like Trevor however, saw the advantage and the power of such weapons and fought to nurture and advance the program. Thanks to her and many others, cuckoos were used more and more for infiltration and extraction until they became the de facto spies and the blue Re-genes remained as the shock troops. Two sides of the same coin.

You, Alpha, and Zeta were part of the new batch, with better education and training to make you better infiltrators. Kappa was a normal shock troop before Trevor noticed that she was lightly smarter and more capable than the others. Although they could not change the color of her skin yet, her power of invincibility more than made up for it along with the mods making her a lot faster and agile than normal people. You were Trevor’s personal team, the one she send in missions she wanted to have a direct hand in.

“Geesh, enough with the reminiscing. It’s boring,” Jane says in her ever more infuriating voice. You take back every time you thought Ortega was annoying. At least she didn’t know what you were thinking. Most of the time anyway. But this, whatever this is, far and wide surpasses Ortega.

“I suggest you cover your ears then, ‘cause we are going to be here for a while,” you shoot.

“Because Miss I’m too good for the world will make you wait?”

“Miss what?” you ask wondering what she means.

“You forget I’m in your head? I swim on that ocean all day long and I see everything. Even those little memories of your old team.”

“Get to the point,” you snap.

“The point is that she’s clearly an arrogant bitch who thinks the world’s too low for her magnanimous presence,” she says in mock pride.

“And?” you question.

“And… I got nothing. I forgot where I was going,” you stare at her dumbfounded. Talk about pointless.

“Then can you please give me one day of peace and quiet.”

She chuckles. “Now where’s the fun in that? No, I love being the ghost of Christmas past, or maybe present. But future is so creepy. Damn it, I can’t choose.”

You sigh. “What are you anyway?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” You wish you had a mirror because you are certain your eyes are currently bigger than your fists.

“What? Me? I’m asking for a reason, I don’t know.”

“And because of that neither do I,” you are beginning to hate that stupid cocky smile she puts on whenever she knows she got you. It’s the same smile you use as her with Ortega. Does Ortega feel the same whenever you give her that smile or is it just you? “Pretty sure it’s just you,” she says in response to your thought.

“Don’t read my mind,” you growl and turn away from her.

“Hey it’s not my fault. I’m in your head, it’s like we live in the same apartment. You say something out loud, I hear it. If you don’t like that, go lock yourself in your room.”

You wish you could.

An hour passes before you hear a car incoming. The Jane… thing or whatever she is, has disappeared by this point. You position yourself so that if anything happens you have a way to run away. Even if she has set a trap and covered all exits with units, you know the place like the back of your hand. You spent the last week scouting the place, as yourself, your puppet, and even sent your crew to make sure. You could say you over scouted the place. But even if you know she stands to win nothing by capturing you, and in fact stands to lose quite a lot, it doesn’t hurt to be certain. Trust but verify as they say. The car that parks in front of you is not exactly what you expected. It clean and looks good as new, but it’s a cheaper car to what someone like Trevor would have. A rental probably. She is making sure no one knows she is here.

The door opens and a figure dressed from head to toe steps out. It takes you a second to finally see her face. Both of your eyes lock for the first time in almost more than a decade. You swore you would never see one another again, that that time would be the last, even if it was at the end of a gun. “It’s been a while, Beta. Or should I call you Mastermind instead?” You are almost caught off guard by the mention. Of course she knows. Trevor has always been a cold reader. She can read body language like a book and pinpoint the exact tells of a person. Far more than anybody you have ever met; even yourself.

“I take it you are not interested in my arrest?” you say casually, trying to diminish the current tension.

“You have yet to become a big threat yet. And even if you did, it would be below me. Let the cops and the rangers deal with you. Or even the farm, if they can even keep you.”

You chuckle a bit. “So you knew.”

She brings out a cigarette and lights it as she stares out into the water. “I did,” she begins while blowing smoke out of her mouth. “I figured you wouldn’t last long after that. But here you are again, free and none the worse for wear.” You want to shoot that statement down, but you keep your mouth shut. The last thing you want is to blurt out your own emotions to someone who can use them. You also don’t fail to notice that her mind is quiet. Not unreadable, but quiet. She doesn’t even need a dampener, or one of the famously dangerous anti telepathy pills, to stop you from reading her mind.

You stand beside her and silence dominates for thirty seconds. “What happened after I escaped?” you manage to get out, although it hurts all the same.

She blows more smoke away, taking her time. “A lot of things. Management was scared you would come back with an army or something so they changed locations, abandoned the old building. Many Re-genes went MIA and the entire program almost collapsed. But it survived thanks to one scapegoat.” You hold back a chuckle, you know who the scapegoat was: the good general. His confrontational attitude towards you and your team can be easily blamed on for the disaster that came after. Then again in a way it did.

Years ago – Farm

You remember that day. You were done training with Zeta when you heard whispers and went on to investigate. “Why are you telling me,” one of them said.

“Because my time table has been moved. I have no other way-” the whisper stopped as you walked around the corner to find Alpha and Kappa. You asked what they were talking about but Alpha, as masterfully as ever, changed the subject with little effort. You didn’t looked too much into it because you trusted Alpha. Trusted her not to do something stupid. She was the smartest of the four of you, being the leader and all.

“Remember what you told me?” Alpha said one night as you were both once again on the roof.

“I’ve told you a lot of things. Going to have to be more specific,” you said.

She chuckled a bit and turned to you. “Almost a year ago, I asked you if you wanted something from out there.”

Your eyes widened at the memory. “Oooooooooooohhhhhhhh right. That. Yeah no, I forgot. What about it?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking…” she fell silent and turned back to the sight in front of you. Nothing but trees all around, surrounding the building. “Soon, it will be a reality,” you heard her mutter, not certain if you were supposed to hear it. You wish you had asked her about it, maybe you could have stopped it…

Present – Dock

“What about Zeta?” you ask.

“He became one of our top units, dealt with missions others had failed dozens of time. We tried to reintegrate him into a team but it was obvious we could not recreate what we lost without reeducation. And reeducation tends to also delete your skills so it was decided to keep him as he was.” You tighten your fist and hold back whatever it is that is punching through your head right now. “He went MIA on a mission years ago and has been presumed dead ever since.” Huh, so he faked his death. “Why? Is he alive and free like you?” she says with a small hint of curiosity but little else. You wonder if she would even bother to go after him or let you handle him.

“He is,” you say coldly and keep it there. She doesn’t need to know the rest. Sincerely you doubt she even cares. Then again maybe she does… or maybe that’s what she wants you to believe. Or maybe she wants you to be paranoid. Paranoid people are always among the easiest to manipulate.

“Heh, you are still keeping information to yourself. Glad those lessons stuck with you,” she says with a hint of pride. Yeah, besides the training and education you got, Trevor made sure to impart all of you with her “Wisdom” too. Never trust anyone, always keep a bit of info to yourself, and always pay attention to every word someone says, even if you find such words pointless or useless.

“Had a good teacher,” you respond with little to no emotion.

“You did. So listen to this teacher one last time: stop chasing the past. It has nothing of worth.”

You gruff. “The past came chasing me, not me it.”

“Wrong. Sidestep working with the Rangers? Mastermind and their crew of criminals?”

You get where she is going, but she doesn’t understand that the first one simply happened while the second one is a necessity. Hollow Ground does not control his empire alone. You will not do any different. You tell her as such but all she does is chuckle.

“You were always sentimental. It’s why you worked so well with the rest of the team. And even now, you still are.”

“I’ve changed.”

“People don’t change, Beta. They add layers that cover their old selves but deep down they are all still the same. You should know that.” You do. Made sure to hammer that lesson on all of you.

“Then why bother giving me advice?”

“I said people don’t change, but they do add layers. So keep adding more.” She drops the cigarette and steps on it, signaling the end of the conversation. As she walks towards her car, you wonder if you should ask it. You don’t want to, but the impulse overtakes you and you turn to her.

“What happened with Alpha?” Trevor turns around, a look of disappointment on her.

“What did I just said?” you look away in shame, like a child being chastised. You did not expected Trevor to be capable of making you feel that way. She sighs. “She went MIA on a mission long ago. We don’t know what happened.” you feel your thoughts threatening to overwhelm you, to swarm you like they did back at Bloodmoon. It’s only by sheer willpower that you hold them down, including the tears. “She was not the same Alpha you and I met, Beta.”

“I know,” you do, but still…

“I’m sorry.” She sighs, sounding so genuine, you wonder if it is real. But you don’t get anything else as she gets in the car and drive away. Vanessa Trevor, the eternal enigma.

You look back to the water, wondering. You wonder what Alpha would say… would she have been fine with how everything went, or would she be disappointed… You always thought that if you found a way to reverse the effects of reeducation, you could one day get an answer. Now there is no answer to get… no hope… only the tears down your cheeks… and rage. They will fall. When you are at the top, you will make sure they fall, make them pay. Make them beg for the sweet release of death. A release you will not give them. But first you have Zeta to think about.

He faked his death and escaped to get revenge on you. He has been silent and will probably continue to be. If he does have a backup plan, it would benefit him to wait it out, to wait for the moment you drop your guard. Which means you absolutely can’t. But then, what’s next? What can you do to track him down?

“How about letting him come?” you hear Jane say behind you. “You keep trying to find him. Why don’t you just sit and wait? You said it yourself, if you drop your guard, he will come. And that’s exactly what you need.” She has a point, a very good point. You can’t track him down, but you can lure him back. And knowing Zeta he will spring at the chance if he sees it. You turn to her, seeing the grin on her face that always seems to scare you.

“You make a very good point. Let’s play as the mouse then,” you say as her grin seems to grow even wider now.

Episode 11 The Rise of Sidestep Part 1: Like a Doll

#fallen hero rebirth #fallen hero: retribution #fanfiction #mc #slow burn #dwelling on the past #OC

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