#me on my 6th replay: oops

[phriend-shaped]

oh my god it's terminal....

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 19 - Brazil

"Back in my day Brazil was always the last race of the season" "Okay Grandma let's get you back to bed"

Well, it's taken me almost a year to complete The Great F1 2013 Re-Watch, but here we are at Race 19/19 (I ended up watching the race over two days before and after Bahrain 2024 bc I got too tired when I started it and didn't want to finish during a race weekend).

While I did watch this race live at the time the only bits I can accurately recall were Seb winning (obvs), Jenson and McLaren getting their best results of the year, and Mark Webber's last race and him taking his helmet off on his cool down lap (and him almost faceplanting on the podium 😅) and of course it being the last race with the V8 engines.

I'm hoping it's going to be a fun watch bc Interlagos is such a great track, so let's jump in!

Saying one last time for prosperity that I miss the old F1 intro

60% risk of rain???? I don't remember that

I do remember it being very grey though

d'aw all the crew on Mark Webber's car wearing Aussie hats

Starting grid overview: Seb pole (!!!!!), Rosberg P2, Alonso P3, Webber P4, Lewis P5, Jev P8, Jenson P14 (my guy how did you get from there to 4th????), and Perez in P19 (again how did you get from there to 5th/6th????)

I mean, I think McLaren finished in 4th and 5th this race. I'd look it up but I'll find out in an hour and a bit.

[Formation Lap]: I think Seb has a water colour style helmet for this race, it looks very pretty

Mediums and Hards are the tyre compounds for this race.

One of my favourite F1 things will always be the stampede of mechanics and engineers running back to the pits.

Ross Brawn and Shov sighting

and speaking of Merc, there's still P2 in the WCC to decide between them and Ferrari.

[Start/Lap 1]: woah Nico leads off the line!!

and Lewis into P3!!! Fernando's behind him

I almost don't want to type in case I miss anything

[Lap 2]: AND SEB RE-TAKES THE LEAD!!!

and almost immediately after Fernando takes P3 from Lewis

And Webber goes up to P4

So! Much! Racing!!!!! Interlagos the circuit that you are

[Lap 3]: JENSON'S INTO P10!!!!!

Seb's out of Nico's DRS range, normal service has been resumed

oop, Grosjean's engine went poof

[Lap 4]: And Alonso takes P2, apparently both Mercs are carrying more wing than the cars around them, which is more ideal for wet running than dry

And quali for this race was in the wet, which explains the pace difference

Anyway the lap 1 replays, Interlagos you will always be famous

[Lap 6]: Jenson is up to P9!!!!

Stay tuned for more Jenson Watch updates

[Lap 7]: Webber goes round the outside of Rosberg through the Senna esses to take P3. Saucy.

NOT GROSJEAN RUNNING DOWN THE LIVE TRACK TO GET BACK TO THE PITS. BE SERIOUS.

good Lord that was terrifying.

[Lap 8]: Anyway, Lewis has a pretty green and yellow helmet

Happy to report Grosjean is back in the pit lane and unscathed

replay of Jenson overtaking Ricciardo for P8 👌

[Lap 9]: oof, Merc potentially having to switch to a three stop

Immediately followed by Nico saying he's struggling with his rear tyres with a cut to the Merc pitwall.

The Mercs are running in 4th (Nico) and 5th (Lewis)

[Lap 11]: And Lewis takes P4 from Nico while Mark chases down Fernando (the fics are practically writing themselves)

[Lap 12]: on McLaren Watch, Perez is up to P11

[Lap 13]: And Webber takes P2 on the main straight!

man this race has been great so far.

And Perez takes P10!

idk what is in those McLarens bc they're on different compounds but they have really solid race pace

[Lap 14]: Jenson up to P7!!!

I'm starting to see how the McLaren's got so high up the grid, they're genuinely quick

[Lap 15]: by contrast, Rosberg has dropped to P6 after being overtaken by Massa

"Prospect of showers" Mr Williams engineer despite your lovely Irish accent you just made my blood pressure go up

Merc saying light rain is 10 minutes away, I mean.... it's Brazil we might as well

[Lap 16]: Cut to Seb having quite a big lock up

...of course Ferrari are saying something different about the weather #JustFerrariThings

[Lap 17]: So top 5 overview: Seb, Webber, Fernando, Lewis and Massa

[Lap 18]: Sutil overtakes Bottas at the pit stop, Team Silverstone be Team Silverstoneing

replat of Seb's lock up and his front right tyre is not looking pretty

[Lap 20]: Jenson is just over three seconds behind Rosberg 🙏

"There's a few spots of rain in the air" Rocky pls

[Lap 21]: Jenson's pitted for mediums, which considering he started on the hards is early. He's came out in P10

[Lap 22]: Make that P9 he just got past a couple of cars, that's my guy!!!!!!

oh god there's spots on the cameras

nvm UP INTO P8!!!!!

[Lap 23]: and after Rosberg pitted Jenson is now into P7

this race really was for me

[Lap 24]: Ouch Webber with a 5 second pit stop

and as such he comes out behind Alonso

[Lap 25]: and in comes Seb for his first stop

thankfully it's a clean stop and he comes about out in P1

and Lewis has apparently already made his first stop

[Lap 26]: And Webber re-takes P2 on the inside of turn 1!

Now the first stops are out the way, the top 10 is Seb, Fernando, Webber, Massa, Lewis, Jenson, Rosberg, Perez, Hulkenberg and Ricciardo

aw man, Mark v Fernando and Massa v Lewis. If I could kiss Interlagos I would.

(Coming back in a week later to finally finish this re-watch.)

[Lap 27]: That overhead shot of Webber and Fernando driving through the Sennas esses is just gorgeous, Interlagos the circuit that you are

[Lap 28]: and same with Lewis and Massa.

[Lap 29]: Lewis is still really stuck behind the Ferrari though

[Lap 30]: and both cars apparently has KERS issues, the pinnacle of motorsport folks

aaaaand Massa is under investigation for crossing the white line at pit entry

[Lap 32]: and he's got a drive through penalty, the replay of it was a solid slam dunk

[Lap 34]: can the spits of rain please stop I don't need it

[Lap 35]: Massa finally serves his penalty and comes out in P8

so JENSON IS UP TO 5TH!!!!!!

Seb is still leading by about 12 seconds because #JustSebThings

[Lap 36]: and let's just do a top 10 overview: Seb, Webber, Fernando, Lewis, Jenson, Rosberg, Perez, Massa, Hulkenberg & Ricciardo

[Lap 37]: not Jenson's engineer talking to him in the braking zone dflvfdjv

[Lap 39]: and I didn't even notice until Crofty mentioned it that we're past half distance

also also Perez is closing in on Rosberg, not a sentence I though I'd by typing today

[Lap 41]: And Webber is one warning away from joining the 'drive through pen for crossing the pit entry line' club

Perez is catching up to Rosberg who's catching up to Jenson

[Lap 42]: immediate cute from people in the pit lane weather watching to a weather radar saying no rain in the next 30 minutes

[Lap 43]: off that's some serious low lying clouds.

apparently it's spitting but bc the track temp is still quite high the water is just evaporating when it hits the track

[Lap 44]: and Jenson makes his second stop for I think a set of mediums

[Lap 45]: Rosberg and Perez both make their second stops, they're both on the hards and come out behind Jenson

[Lap 47]: VALTTERI NO

the camera just cut to his car spinning and his rear tyre flew off

LEWIS HAS A PUNCTURE WHAT

and BOTH RBRS ARE IN AND THE PIT CREW WASN'T READY??????

Lap 47 WHY DID YOU DO THAT???????

[Lap 48]: Lewis managed to make it back to the pits and gets a new set of hard tyres

ohhhhh no, Valtteri was trying to unlap himself, and I don't think Lewis realised he was there, and their rear tyres banged together and came apart

Flabbergasted Susie Wolff is me and I am her

[Lap 49]: and Lewis also has floor damage

[Lap 50]: And a Fernando fastest lap just to add to the chaos

as a result of the RBR pit stop fuckery, Fernando has managed to catch up right to the back of Webber

[Lap 51]: ouch, drive through pen for Lewis for causing a collision

[Lap 53]: in Jenson watch he's up to P4 as a result of the various nonsense

and Lewis serves his drive through pen

[Lap 54]: Seb sighting!!!!

oh and Van der Garde gets a drive through pen for ignoring blue flags. I'm going to call that penalty bingo.

oh Interlagos, just doing Interlagos things

[Lap 55]: cut to 'Rain Expected' on one of the teams' weather radar just for extra spice

No race will ever be as chaotic as the Brazilian GP

[Lap 57]: Lewis watch, he's in P10 chasing down Ricciardo

[Lap 58]: and he takes P9!!!

and cut to Jenson in P4 🥹

that's my boy!!!!!!!

Brundle and Crofty shutting up to listen to the engine sounds is the best thing they've done all race

[Lap 59]: ah someone on the Williams pit wall doing the classic 'stick an arm out to see if it's raining' tactic

[Lap 61]: and there's a slow moving Caterham

ouch, broken suspension

[Lap 64]: Perez is back to closing down Rosberg

one of the Toro Rossos spinning round Maldonado, somehow nether car was damaged

okay after the replay I take it back, Maldonado tried to pincer Jev round the outside of turn 1, a bit silly

[Lap 67]: 5 laps remaining!!

"Rain is picking up between now and the start of the race" Thanks Rocky I really needed to hear that

[Lap 70]: If I could describe the weather I would say that it's Schrodinger's rain

[Lap 71]: LAST LAP!!!

man that low cloud looks almost biblical

and aw that on board cam of Mark on his last lap in an F1 car

[Finish]: AND SEB WINS IN BRAZIL!!!!!!!!

P2: Webber, P3: Alonso, P4 Jenson, P5: Rosberg, P6: Perez, P7: Massa, P8: Hulkenberg, P9: Lewis and P10: Ricciardo.

Well that was a really nice race to end on (the mild heart failure Lap 47 gave me not withstanding), and while it took me 50 million years I'm so happy I decided to re-watch the 2013 season, the first half was really fun with the different amount of race winners, and for Seb reasons the second half was iconic as hell.

My overall season highlights had to be Seb winning the WDC in India, Lewis' first win for Mercedes in Hungary, the battle for the lead in Japan was fun to watch unfold, and getting to re-live Canada again.

I have so many feelings about Seb's last title winning season that I'll never quite be able to put into words, but he's my goat always and forever.

(and yes I can have multiple goats because I say so)

[wldthoughtz]

Pain.

Seth Rollins (Angst/Fluff)

“This is not fucking fair!” Seth yelled loudly as he paced back and forth in front of the crate I was sitting on.

“Seth,” I sighed with an exasperated breath as I crossed my legs and rested my palms on either side of me.

“Don’t you dare ‘Seth’ me!” He snarled stopping dead in his tracks. “A three on one handicap match is not fair! Especially not after you just got back 2 weeks ago! And with the Riot squad!? Those chicks are insane, and they cheat! You’re going to get killed out there! What was Hunter thinking!?” He groaned angrily as he ran a hand through his soaking hair.

“First of all, you need to calm down! This is not the first three on one match ever, I’m a wrestler Seth this is what I do, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter if it’s the Riot squad!” I yelled out as I hopped off the crate. “Yes, I did just get back 2 weeks ago… but it was after being away for 4 months. Hunter put me in this match out of everyone else in this locker room because he believes in me which is more than I can say for you right now!” I snapped at him angrily.

Seth was furious as he marched over to me and wrapped his hands around my arms. “Believe in you!? He doesn’t give a damn about you, he only cares about the money he’s going to make off this match!” He snarled down at me. “You’re the most popular female superstar in the whole roster! He’s going to throw you in that ring just so you can get hurt again! I mean come on we all know you’re not as good as you used to be!” He growled.

My breath caught in my throat as the words left his mouth. His angry eyes boar into mine was he waited for me to respond. “Fuck you,” I breathed out pushing hard at his chest and watching him hold his chest as stumble back away from me. I felt anger and rage consume me as I glared at him. “If I was just good, I wouldn’t still be here! If was just good I wouldn’t be Woman’s champion right now, for the 6th time! If I was just good, I wouldn’t be the best female superstar on the brand! And if I was just good, I wouldn’t be one of the highest payed female athletes and make twice the amount of money that you do!” I yelled angrily at him. “So, no I’m not good… I was never just good…I’m m*thrfucking great!” I yelled at him watching a stunned look cross his face as his hand rested on the area of his chest where I had pushed him. The sound of loud clapping broke through the tense air causing us both to break eye contact and turn to find Baron Corbin down the hall walking towards us.

“Well said princess,” Baron called out loudly, still distanced from us.

I glanced back at Seth and felt my emotions overpowering me. I felt my eyes beginning to water and clenched them tightly to hold back any tears. Before opening them and catching a stern look on Seth’s face as he watched Baron come closer.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered softly as I swiped angry at a tear that managed to slip down my cheek. His head immediately turned to me at the sound of my voice and he watched me with confused eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He asked in an unamused tone as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Bab-” He was quickly cut off my Baron who wrapped his arm around my shoulder confidently.

“What’s this? The power couple of WWE are fighting?!” Baron asked in fake shock as his hand toyed with the strap of my ring top.

Seth glared daggers at Baron when his hand trailed down my side and fell on my bare waist, where his thumb slipped up the band below my breasts. “Get your hand off of her,” he growled menacingly.

Baron let out a chuckle as he moved his hand away from me and lifted them up in mock defense.

“Relax Rollins, I’m just messing with ya,” he smirked, turning to eye me up and down, before turning back so Seth. “She always looks amazing in her ring gear, doesn’t she?” He asked teasingly.

Seth’s eyes were dangerous as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on before walking over and taking my hand to pull me behind his back. “Keep your eyes and hands off my woman Baron,” he growled harshly.

Just as Baron was about to speak, the alarm on my phone went off signaling I only had 5 minutes before my match. Both men watched me as I silenced the alarm before placing it back into the band of my ring gear. With a soft sigh I began walking away without saying a word to either of them. “Wait!” Seth called out making me roll me eyes as I continued walking towards gorilla.

I heard him jogging and suddenly felt my arm being pulled back softly, causing me to stop and turn to him. “What um, what did you mean back there?” He asked rubbing the back of his head with his free hand.

I shook my head at him in disbelief at the fact that he hadn’t even apologized for the hurtful words he said. I let out a soft sigh as I felt my emotions creeping up again. “Seth I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me… and I can’t be with someone who thinks that I’m not good enough.” I breathed out sadly, pulling my hand away from him, watching a look of horror crossed his face.

“What?! Baby-” As soon as the words left his mouth Baron’s large arm came down on his shoulder. “Baron I swear I’m going to fuck you up right now!” He growled turning the push Baron hard against the wall causing them to break out into a fist fight.

Shaking my head, I glanced at them once more before walking towards Gorilla with watery eyes and a heavy heart.

I made it to the curtain just as Finn walked in with a bright smile and his championship in hand. “Hey Las!” He smiled brightly.

“Hey Finn, Congratulations on your match.” I smiled softly, loving the positivity that radiated off his body.

“Thanks, darlin,” His bright smile dropped into a small frown as he stopped in front of me. “Hey are you alright?” He asked, his face full of concern.

“Yeah I’m good,” I breathed out sending him a small smile. I felt a hard bump against my shoulder that sent me forward into Finn, who wrapped his arms around me, preventing me from falling.

“Watch it!” He growled out. A glare grew on my face as I saw Ruby, Liv, and Logan laugh as they walked past us just before their music blast through the arena.

You’re going to get killed out there, He doesn’t give a damn about you, we all know you’re not as good as you used to be… Seth’s words replayed in my mind over and over as I watched them walk out with smirks on their faces. I felt a tear glide down my cheek feeling the ache in my heart with each word.

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Darlin why are you crying?” Finn asked softly as he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

I let out a shaky breath before glancing up at him, seeing him watch me with a worried look. “S-Someone said I’m not a good wrestler anymore and I know it shouldn’t let it affect me… but it hurt a lot,” I whispered softly, biting down on my lip to keep me from crying.

“That’s complete and utter bullshit darlin! You’re one of the best superstars on this roster! Anyone who says you’re not good clearly doesn’t know what in the bloody hell they’re talking about! I mean seriously you’ve main evented over 50 times and you even main evented WrestleMania! Don’t let words hold you back darlin, you were meant to be here, and you prove that every day that you step into that ring.” He stated confidently with a bright smile.

Finn’s words filled me with pride, as I thought about all of the accomplishments that I had been able to achieve in my career so far. A huge smile grew on my face as I looked up at Finn. “Thanks Finn, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said with a sigh.

“No need to thank me darlin, just go out there and kick their ass,” He smiled brightly as he stepped back away from me.

“You got it!” I smiled at him before walking towards the mirror to fix my smudged make up,  

 I sent Finn another smile as I walked up to the curtain, a small gasp left my lips when I felt Finn turn me around by my waist, so I was pressed up to him. I looked up and caught sight of his desire filled eyes as his hand slid softly down my side, grazing my skin before he slid my phone out of the band of my ring shorts. “Oops,” I whispered softly.

His eyes were still trained on me as he stepped away, clutching my phone in his hand. “Go annihilate them darlin,” He smirked as my music blasted through the arena.

I sent him a smile before turning and walking. I was immediately hit with deafening sound of cheering from the crowd. A huge smile grew on my face as I looked around and saw everyone in the arena on their feet and cheering. A little girl held up a sign with my name that read, ‘she’s the best of the best.” Seeing similar signs scattered across the arena and seeing a large part of the crowd sporting my merch made me heart soar.

I ran up and slid into the ring before climbing up to the top rope and doing my signature back-flip, hearing the loud cheers and applause echo through the stadium. I glanced around the ring and noticed the three girls circling the ring like vultures and an unfamiliar feeling grew in the pit of my stomach…it was doubt.

______________________________________________

 Seth’s POV

“Seth Stop!” Dean yelled in my face as he and Roman held me pinned to the wall, keeping me away from Baron who was being held back by Drew and Bobby.

“Seth man you need to calm down! He’s not worth it!” Roman tried to reason as both him and dean struggled to hold me back.  

“You don’t deserve her Rollins!” Baron grunted out at me as he tried shoving the two bulky men off of him. “You’re not man enough for her! You’re only holding her back! She needs a real man like me!” He snarled.

I felt red hot rage surge through my veins, I didn’t just want to hurt Baron anymore I wanted to kill him. “Get the fuck off me!” I growled and with a hard lunge I was free, and my fist were flying once again all over Baron face. The shouts and tugs on me became a blur as I watched my fists collide over and over with Corbin’s face. Suddenly I was lifted off up of Corbin, as I was being pulled away, I kicked my foot hard and heard a loud crack echo through the corridor.

I was slammed hard against the wall again but this time by Braun who easily held me back. “Listen here Rollins! Your girl is out there about to give the best performance of the night and you’re back here rolling around the ground with this weasel!?” He barked loudly into my face as he motioned to Baron. “You should be out there supporting her! Just like she does for you every single night!” He barked in my face.

His words suddenly turned my rage into worry and regret as I glanced at Roman and Dean who nodded in agreement with Braun. Looking past them, I saw Baron on the ground, holding his now bleeding nose as Drew and Bobby led him down the hallway. “You’re right,” I breathed out softly. He scoffed as his hands let me go and without a word, I walked right past all of them and made my way over to Gorilla.

The words she had said to me played over and over in my mind as I trudged down the hall. Seth I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me… and I can’t be with someone who thinks that I’m not good enough. Had she broken up with me? I shook the horrible thought from my head but couldn’t escape the broken look that she had on her beautiful face as she had spoken those words. I had fucked up badly with everything I said to her… I know I did, but I had my reasons.

Glancing up as I reached the curtain my face went cold as I saw none other than Finn Balor standing there with her phone in his hand as he watched the monitor closely. I breathed in and out softly trying to contain myself as I walked up next to him.

“You fucked up,” He muttered as we both fixed our eyes on the screen. My eyes were glued on her as she moved across the screen, she looked absolutely beautiful just like she always did. She was on the top turnbuckle where she was always the most comfortable. Yet I saw a spark of hesitation in her eye before she jumped down onto the three girls who stood on the ground, knocking them all down. She must have landed wrong because I saw her roll over in pain as she clutched her abdomen.

“Of course she told you,” I huffed out unamused as I crossed my arms across my chest. Everyone knows that Finn’s always had a thing for her, in the past we had gone at it many times over her. I smiled because I’d been the one to come on top with the ultimate prize, her love. A frown made its way on my face though as again I thought about the words she spoke to me right before she walked out. Seth I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me… and I can’t be with someone who thinks that I’m not good enough. Those words made it sound like a breakup…but I pray it wasn’t…because then Finn might actually get the chance that he’s always wanted… and I can’t lose her.

“She didn’t tell me.” He muttered, causing me to give him a confused side glance. He looked over at me with a stern look, “Her tears did.” He stated flatly watching me with a scowl as my head turned back to the screen sadly, the feeling of regret eating at my insides. The thought of her crying always made my heart ache and knowing that it was because of me was a direct knife through my chest. “She wouldn’t have cared if anyone else would’ve said that to her, she gets crap like that all the time... Truthfully, she’s one of the strongest women I know, which is why I know for a fact that only you could have an effect like that on her,” He stated harshly as he glared at me. His gaze went back to the screen and a wince crossed he face when he saw that two of the girls were holding her while the other kicked her stomach hard causing her to topple over in pain. I grimaced with worry as I took in the look of pain in her face as the camera zoomed in.

I let out a deep sigh as I glanced over at Finn then back at the screen, “I didn’t mean it man… I only said it because I wanted her to back out of the match tonight…” I breathed out. Finn and I let out a sigh of relief when we saw her kick out of the attempted pin. “I regretted everything as soon as I said it because I know none of it’s true. I just didn’t want her go out there…and I didn’t want her to get hurt again.” I breathed out softly. Clenching my teeth when I saw her hesitate once again on her jump before being pushed off the top rope and landing face first onto the mat hard.

Finn sighed and surprised me when he placed an arm on my shoulder as he turned to me. “Listen I know it must’ve been hard for you after she got hurt. You were the one that was there for her 24/7 while she recovered, and I understand that it must’ve hell for you to watch her go through that. But I know it was extremely hard for her. Especially coming back and having to try to start where she left off. She was at such a high in her career when that happened and now, she’s working so hard to get there again. Which is why those words are messing with her so much. She’s been working so hard because she wants to be where she was, but she can’t do that if the person she loves is doubting her.”

“…it was hard for her…she was always in so much pain that it would make her cry… and I fucking hated that I couldn’t take the pain away from her!” I muttered out through clenched teeth, thinking about the long gruesome months that she spent in pure pain and agony. “I was so worried when she told me the she was facing three girls, because I know that in a match like that anything can go wrong…especially with people who are dangerous and careless,” I mumbled out.

Finn sent me a small nod, “I know you were worried about her, but you should’ve just talked to her man, and told her how you felt.”

I let out a deep breath as I glanced back at him, “How do I tell her that I said all those hurtful things because I was scared and didn’t want her to go out there?” I asked him. “I don’t want her to think that I’m trying to control her or that I’m jealous and just trying to hold her back.” I sighed, my eyes bulged as I saw her suicide-dive and knock out all three girls.

“You tell her the truth! She could never be mad at you for caring about her.” He stated.

A long silence passed around us as we watched her being tossed out of the ring. “I just don’t want to see her in pain like that ever again,” I sighed watching the camera zoom in on her face of agony. Stupid camera guy.

“She’s not doing good out there… she hesitating and overthinking things too much. She needs to know that you believe in her, and she needs to know that she can do this. And she needs to hear it from you.”  Finn stated squeezing my shoulder before removing his hand.

My heart dropped when I saw her thrown forcefully into the ring post and landing flat on the ground. “Fuck!” I gasped and without a second thought I was bursting out of the curtain causing a loud uproar from the crowd. The sound of my music echoed through the arena, Finn. The three girls scurried into the ring away from her as I shot them all glares before crouching down over her.

“Hey baby girl, what hurts?” I asked franticly as I pulled her into my arms.

“Everything,” She whimpered softly as she pushed herself into me. “You were right I can’t do this!” She mumbled shakily, and my heart lurched at the sight of her watery eyes.

 “Fuck baby no! I’m so damn sorry! I didn’t mean anything that I said I was just fucking scared that you’d get hurt again,” I told her quietly watching her brows furrow. “I was just terrified of seeing you go through that pain again darling… But you’re fucking amazing baby and you got this! I know you do! You’re a fucking champ and I know you can do this, because you can do anything!” I stated watching a small smile grow on her face. “Now you get back in that ring and you kick their ass!” I yelled out, smiling when the crowd began to cheer.

She sent me a beautiful smile before pressing her lips hard to mine causing the crowd to erupt in cheers and whistles. She pulled away and scurried into the ring and breaking the refs count.

The match continued and it was clear to see confidence radiating off her body as she closed-lined the two girls off the ring side before turning and drop-kicking Ruby who ran toward her. She sent me a smile before she climbed up the ropes and did a perfect moonsault onto Ruby. She quickly covered her, 1…2…3!

“Fuck yeah! That’s my girl!” I yelled out slamming my hand on the mat as the arena went crazy. She quickly slid under the ropes over to me and jumped into my arms. “You did it baby!” She smiled at me brightly while I held her up in my arms as she held up her championship.

The three girls had scowls on their faces as they watched us walk up the ramp and make our way backstage.

Once we were backstage, her bright smile dropped as she jumped down from my arms.

Finn walked over and congratulated her before handing her, her phone and gave me a knowing look that clearly read, talk to her, I sent him a nod as I watched him walk away.

“Baby,” I called her quietly and watched her look up from her phone. “I’m really sorry for everything I said to you… I shouldn’t have said all those things to you because none of it’s true.”

I saw a frown grow on her face as she looked up at me, “then why did you say it?” She asked softly.

I let out a sigh before I took her hands into mine, “The truth is I was scared…I didn’t want you to go out there and because you were going into the ring with three reckless and uncaring girls that don’t care what they have to do to win. And I was fucking terrified that you’d get hurt again…” I breathed out shakily.

“Seth,” She sighed wrapping her arms around my neck while mine wrapped firmly around her waist. “You know that in our line of work there’s always going to be a chance that we could be hurt. And you know me… I don’t run from a fight no matter the situation.”

“That’s what terrifies me…” I whispered with sad eyes as I squeezed her waist. “When you got hurt, that was the worst time of my life. Because I hated that you were in so much pain and I couldn’t do anything to take it away…I just don’t want to see you go through that again.” A small smile grew on her face as she cupped my cheek.

I was taken by surprise when she leaned up suddenly and pressed her lips to mine. Within seconds I was kissing her back, dwelling in the feeling of her soft smooth lips moving softly against mine. After awhile she pulled away leaving us both breathless, “I’m sorry,” She breathed out causing me to scrunch my brows in confusion. “I’ve been so focused on me and getting back to the top. That I didn’t stop and think about how you were feeling…I mean you were the only one that was with me through the whole recovery process. You were there for me through all of the sleepless nights and painful therapy sessions. Thanks to you I’m back here, because you were the only one that never gave up on me.” She whispered sadly as she stroked my cheek. “I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry for being so inconsiderate of your feelings,” I was stunned as I heard the words leave her mouth and I felt my eyes begin to gloss over.

“Fuck baby. You don’t have to apologize for any of that. You did the same thing for me when I injured my knee… And you know I would do anything and more for you in a heartbeat,” I stated as I pulled her tightly to my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry I said those horrible things to you baby, I should’ve just talked to you instead of being a complete asshole.” I mumbled pressing a kiss to her head.

“Yes, you should’ve talked to me, but I should’ve talked to you too. I forgive you… as long as you can forgive me.” She smiled up at me.

“Fuck yeah I forgive you princess! God I was so scared I’d lost you when you walked out of the curtain,” I sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“You’re not going to lose me baby, you’re stuck with me now!” She smiled beautifully as I cupped her cheek.

“That’s perfectly fine with me!” I chuckled pressing a firm kiss onto her luscious lips, moaning at the sweet taste of cherry that lingered on her lips. I pulled away from her when I heard my name being called for my match. “I love you so damn much darling,” I sighed breathlessly as I watched her flash me her million-dollar smile.

“I love you more,” She giggled when I tickled her side.

“Not possible,” I chuckled watching her squirm in my arms.

“Yes poss-” She started but was cut off by Roman’s deep voice.

“Alright love birds that’s enough, but I’m glad to see you two made up. Seth wipe those googly eyes off your face, we got a match brother,” Roman smirked teasingly as he fastened his vest, while Dean chuckled as he laced up his boots.

I scowled at Roman before I heard a soft laugh leave her lips causing me to smile, turning back to her I placed a firm kiss on her lips, “Go to the trainer and get looked at yeah?” I asked softly as I stroked her cheek.

“Okay,” She smiled pulling away from me and taking my hand.

“Meet me after my match?” I asked stretching out my hand as her fingers slipped from mine as she walked backwards.

“If you win,” She replied with a teasing smile before tuning around and giving me a delicious view of her backside.

“You bet your sexy ass I will,” I called out to her with a huge smile on my face as I watched her hips sway effortlessly as she walked.

She glanced over her shoulder and sent me a sultry wink that caused me to let out a soft growl as I watched her sexy figure disappear around the corner.

“Now that ladies and gentlemen is a woman,” I heard Dean whistle behind me.

“Ambrose!” I growled charging for him when I saw him raise his eyebrows teasingly before taking off down the hallway towards our entrance spot. “Get back here so I can kick your ass,” I called out after him with a smile as I heard Romans booming laugh.

Like this? Check out my other Stories!

Mine: Roman Reigns (Smut)

“I got you baby”: Seth Rollins

Congratulations: Seth Rollins (Smut)

“She’s mine”: Seth Rollins/ Finn Balor

Believe: Finn Balor

Love: AJ Styles

Home: Finn Balor (Smut)

Promise: Seth Rollins

Your Girl: Finn Balor (Smut)

Hurt: Finn Balor

Man: AJ Styles

Ours: Finn Balor/Demon (Smut/Dark)

[rattsoup]

A Long-Winded Analysis of My Own Emotional Issues

I have been ruthlessly thinking of the time in 4th grade when the song Bad Day by Daniel Powter drove me to sob openly in front of dozens. Through tears, I offered “my parents are getting divorced!” as an explanation because it was the first thing that came to mind. While true, it didn’t seem to me like the reason for my emotional outburst. Some minutes later, while I was still trying to piece myself together, a girl one or two years younger than me told me cheerily and empathetically “I know how you feel; my parents are divorced too” in an attempt to make me feel better. This confused me for two reasons: clearly, she didn’t know how I was feeling because she wasn’t currently in tears, and her implication that this was the correct emotional response to such an event made me feel slightly guilty that I was crying about something entirely separate (I didn’t then and still don’t know what).

-

Another moment of emotional confusion occurred when I suddenly became incredibly despondent about past memories of playing the video game Oblivion. This happened in 5th grade and I had stopped playing less than a year earlier. For weeks, the source of my sadness was a mystery until I realized with horror that the sensation I had been experiencing was nostalgia. People like this? I remember thinking. To this day I’m confused about why nostalgia is seen in a positive light. The feeling is unbearable to me.

-

When my parents originally told me of their separation. I cried and asked “is it my fault?” only because this felt like the right response to hearing such news. I’d constructed a prototype of this scenario long before—likely informed by movies and TV—in which the parents immediately assure their children that they are not to blame.

-

Years later, full of teen angst, I constructed a recurring fantasy in which I’d overheard my parents arguing about having not been ready for a second child when I was born, the implication being that my conception was either accidental or unwanted. Some years after that my mother drunkenly informed me, not out of anger or spite, but just because it was relevant to the topic of conversation, that I was in fact an “oops baby”. She was entirely unaware that that had been the plot of many daydreams of mine.

-

At some point in middle school, I began listening to a band who made music exclusively about the plot of Doctor Who. After replaying these songs obsessively for weeks, I became overwhelmed by a sense that I was missing out on the experience of viewing the show. I wasn’t worried that I had spoiled the show for myself or that I could not enjoy it after listening to this music, I was just upset that I had not yet seen it. I broke down in tears, and when my concerned mother asked why, I explained that the band (Chameleon Circuit) made me want to watch Doctor Who, and that I had access to it, but that I hadn’t started watching it. Her sympathetic response: “well, watch it then” was exactly what I needed and wanted to hear. I began viewing it that night and quickly became engrossed.

-

Writing this, I’m listening to the first album I ever bought: Ocean Eyes by Owl City. I first heard it in 6th grade after it was recommended to me by someone with whom I had a very tenuous relationship. We listened to this album together when I had begrudgingly sat next to him on the bus on the way to some field trip (our assigned seats were organized such that we had to sit next to the student whose last name was closest to ours alphabetically). He extolled the song Vanilla Twilight’s emotional impact, saying about a particular line “that makes me cry every time because I realize someone died”. I truly loved every song on that album and still do, despite the song Fireflies becoming a meme when I was in high school. Hearing the shakily whispered “I haven’t slept in two days” on Vanilla Twilight was the first time I ever fascinatedly romanticized neurosis as a means to achieve self-acceptance in regards to my own mental illness. I resolved to make the song Meteor Shower the soundtrack to the suicide I planned the following year. This plan was never carried out, in part or in full because the alarms I set for 2 am never successfully woke me up.

-

In conclusion: much of the reason for the difficulty I’ve had crying (especially sober) these last several years stems from the emotional confusion I experienced during my formative years. I was so guided by how I thought I was supposed to respond to specific situations that I couldn’t bring myself to react genuinely. Music continues to have a greater emotional impact on me than any other artistic medium, and the fact that I refused to believe one song could be the reason for my tears, that novelty music could cause me to stir emotionally and that the upsetedness it caused me had an easy solution that I was incapable of enacting on my own, and that an album so incredibly important to me could be shared with me by someone I hated—forcing me to sympathize with him—all caused me a great deal of emotional distress. Unwittingly, I decided that if I couldn’t respond correctly, then I wouldn’t respond at all. I internalized a mistrust of the legitimacy of my own emotional reactions.

[marvus-xoloto]

November 1st: 917 words || November 2nd: 397 words || November 3rd: ~780 words || November 4th-6th: 0 words || November 7th: 228 words || November 8th: 583 words

Favorite line...

Oops, I indulged in bad habits today and posted my favorite line already ^^' here's another one:

She never would have been kind, you don’t think, sharp edged and drama loving as she is. But at least, elsewhere, she might have had the choice.

Ngl a lot of my word count is. Checklist items for editing later lol thequill.app has me by the fucking balls... checklists??? for me??? it rules so much for long fics like this. I love having checklists for my huge brain filled with mostly air and bad ideas.

I'm trying to stay positive; being sick took some wind out of my sails :( I really thought I'd have more progress done by now. Progress is SO. SLOW. I have to work on discipline a bit; maybe I'll keep my own personal nanowrimo going for the month of december to help motivate me. It is very lonely writing all by myself :( Hey, maybe having a small goal (having a little preview fest after chap 6 is done) will help motivate me?? Then again. Nobody is here. I doubt I'll get too much interaction.

It's not all bad though. I'm really happy with what I'm coming up with. Yes it needs a lot of editing. Yes I need to replay a few friendsims to check my characterization. Thems the breaks when you're just writing to get the story down, and perfecting later. But still, I love this story. It's the first time in a long time I've felt like a writer. Like, I used to just be someone who writes, you know?

Side note. I've been using the same placeholder "idk how to open this scene" line (x walks into a bar) and then loving it too much to get rid of it. Why is it so effective x_x

Going to be participating in NaNoWriMo this year! Trying to get 500 words a day, 1k if I can, which I know doesn't sound like a whole lot but hey. It's something. More than I've been doing for sure.

This little text post will serve as my progress bar, because I like that sort of thing. Anyone else doing nano this year?

Goals for this month:

>Get to chapter 3 in ASOBAM, which will have two intermissions. Five chapters total?

>Fix and finish chapter 1 of Itty Bitty. Consider starting over with a different premise perhaps?

>Try to get one or two requests from my drafts done

[dont-sneeze]

all of them

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 14 - Belgium

So I remember sweet f all from Spa, bc I’m pretty sure that was around the time of both family stress, and my parents catching covid, so this and the next two races are total blanks to me bc I was both not on tumblr much and didn’t watch any of Channel 4 highlights.

(I mean I’m also running on the assumption that Verstappen won bc that’s almost all he did last year).

So let’s just jump in and hope Seb and Lewis had a somewhat fun time

I am highkey dreading this race, Zandvoort and Monza bc I have NO IDEA what happened so like these combined could be six hours I never get back

at least Seb looks pretty in the intro

As I also watched Spa 2021 I’m glad I have context for whatever that race was.

ANYWAY, starting grid:

Mick P19 :(

why the fuck is Charles in 15th????

NICKY P11, GOATIFI

Seb and Lance top 10 😭🙌

how on Earth did Alex get 6th in quali?! (I mean, the ultimate good for him, but HOW?!)

I’m really going to have to start looking up quali results before I press play to avoid all this whiplash bc I didn’t even notice Sainz on pole aovhaeog

[Start/Lap 1]: Perez almost driving into Alonso at the start aegehg 

“A brilliant start from Sebastian Vettel” THAT’S MY BOYYYYYYYYY

oh fuck me Lewis on Fernando violence

so Lewis does not have a fun time in this race then 😭

The racing gods giveth (Seb up into P5) and the racing gods stab you in the chest (Lewis DNF)

[Lap 2]: The way you can literally see the Ferrari bouncing up and down the straight. Yikes.

NICKY NO don’t take out Val like that

cut to a solitary Lewis by his car. Does not spark any joy.

Thank fuck we have a replay bc WHAT WERE THOSE TWO LAPS?!

Seb’s start was bloody gorgeous though. KING SHIT.

but yeah... no F1 car should be flung up into the air like that with any kind of contact.

Oh not even Lance and Seb being violent on the first lap. Everyone left their braincells at home it seems.

[Lap 4]: Charles making his first pit stop bc pain I guess????

Seb being in 5th is the race’s only saving grace rn

...there was a tear off in one of Charles’ front breaks is2g I’ll start causing violence next

right safety car coming in, I paused to grab some chocolate for emotional support snacking.

oh boy Charles doing his own strategy calls and you know what I trust him more than the Ferrari pitwall

[Lap 5]: Perez v Russell v Alonso. I AM IN DISTRESS

“Then comes Sebastian Vettel” INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS

I mean he’s just there in P5 vibing but GO ON SEB!!!

Verstappen already into P6 after starting 14th

oh no don’t cut to a solitary Lewis I’m sad again

[Lap 6]: ALEX??? PASSING A McLAREN????

What is going on in the House of Commons

Seb drops to P6

[Lap 7]: Jesus that shot of Verstappen closing on Alonso really shows how strong the RB18 was last year.

“We are for Plan B” Please... I’m not strong enough I am already at my limit 😭

[Lap 8]: Verstappen already into P3. If I speak.

also my emotional support chocolate had been devoured.

Charles passing Gasly at the bus stop chicane? Nice.

[Lap 10]: Okay I think the race has finally settled down now, apart from Charles making his way up through the field

I’m still this close to asking for a refund though

Clinging onto Seb in P6 and Lance in P9 with both hands rn

cut to Jacky Ickx, watch Ferrari disrespect his presence with more clownery

[Lap 11]: Ignoring potential RBR team orders and focusing on Seb being almost a second behind Alonso

oop Sainz pits, tbf comms have been talking about high tracks temps so no wonder people are complaining about high deg

[Lap 13]: Oh Verstappen got past Perez. 

anyway, Charles up to P6!!

“Could George Russell undercut Perez” oh I hope so I’ll take anything at this point

Seb also pits, it was slow 😭

[Lap 15]: Charles being a little bit unhinged trying to get past Perez, I support his right to go feral

“We are considering Plan D” I WILL BURN DOWN MARANELLO

No, I’m not kidding. I’ll call it a belated Ides of March.

Russell v Charles 👀

whew he actually got past on the kemmel straight!

George said I’ll avenge Lewis by dragging the W13 places it doesn’t deserve to be

[Lap 17]: SEB INTO P8!!! LET’S GET IT

I’m also acknowledging Ferrari putting Charles on Plan D and moving on

MICK PASSING NICKY UP EAU ROUGE!!! A KING!!!!

[Lap 18]: ...and Verstappen retakes the lead

��Hasta la Vista Carlos” eafuvhefuawh okay Brundle I’ll give you that one right it was funny

oh Seb is on the hards. I do not know how to feel about that.

[Lap 19]: Alpha Tauri finally remember to pit Yuki

“Why would we stop now” A very good question Charles, you tell em

[Lap 21]: I’m actually glad Seb is holding the gap to Alonso ahead bc I still haven’t recovered from the first lap

And Perez passes Sainz like he’s just taking a stroll

oooh Lance passes Galy round the outside of the the chicane for P11, noice

[Lap 23]: It’s me I’m the unimpressed McLaren garage

also thank fuck we’re past half-distance

Lance v Dan up Eau Rouge??? BOYS THINK OF MY NERVES

[Lap 25]: Seb watch: he has really closed up to Alonso, I’m stress

[Lap 26]: oh looks like we’re gonna get another pitstop shuffle *cue Disco music*

oh fuck Ferrari are double stacking

okay it wasn’t awful

[Lap 28]: Oh dear potential Canadian on Canadian violence.

Anyway Seb’s in P5 so I think we should end the race and call it a day

[Lap 31]: Charles closing up to Seb, my Ferrari boys 😭

oh and here we are with a Charles onboard

not surprising that was an easy pass, nice to see my lads briefly reunited though

[Lap 33]: Russell hunting Sainz for sport, gap down to just over 4 seconds

[Lap 34]: Seb pits, he couldn’t make the 1 stop work I guess 😔

but still in the poinnnnnnnnnnts!!!!!

[Lap 35]: and he passes Gasly for P7!!!!

oh shit he got double French tag teamed

asdfghjkl Ocon with the double slipstream, maximum zoom

[Lap 36]: Sainz v Russell watch: gap down to under 3 seconds

oh jeez not Brundle calling the Merc a Williams asvhauvhuhu

[Lap 37]: a 4 car battle for P10 you say? 👀

Midfield spice (beloved)

[Lap 38] I can’t believe it took this long to make reference to the Great Contract Drama of Summer Break 2022. I may have been tuned out of a lot of the races last year but boy was last Summer Break the most hilarious

“It’s too late for Plan G” McLaren???? Don’t take lessons from Ferrari I BEG

[Lap 39]: Alex having the best time being a train conductor as he clings onto P10. Pet power!!

[Lap 40]: I’m still trying to get my head around Verstappen going from P14 to P1 in the dry like ?????

Like yes I will acknowledge that Verstappen is a good driver, but jeez man

[Lap 42]: ANYWAY, Seb still in P8, please Spa give me something in the way of joy

Sainz v Russell watch: gap holding at 2 seconds so I think Ferrari are going to escape Spa with a podium

and cut to a replay of Yuki passing Zhou before the bus stop chicane

[Lap 43]: I was about to question why they were pitting Leclerc, but it’s to try and get fastest lap.

oh jeez but Alonso is right there. 

And he passes Charles. Clowneria Ferrari strikes again.

There is not a big enough facepalm emoji.

[Lap 44/Finish]: oh phew Charles got past Alonso on the Kemmel straight

and Sainz holds onto P3. Props to George for trying though.

Charles didn’t even get fastest lap. And he got a 5 sec penalty for speeding in the pitlane so he drops to P6 🥲

but anyway SEB POINTS!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!

Seb finished in P8 and nothing else happened idk what any of you are talking about.

Ugh yeah I’m trying to not let my personal attachment to some drivers affect my thought on the race but... oof my friends. This didn’t spark that much joy. Granted, there was a somewhat decent amount of action, but the first two laps were not fun to watch. So I’ll give it a tentative 6 front wings out of 10. Next race - Zandvoort!