#me talking about green flags as if ive even been in a relationship since i was in high school lol

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

if we’ve covered some red flags, what are some of your green flag ships? like of those “fuck yesssssss” ones that you really enjoy

AYO SELF CARE HOURSSSSSS. i do genuinely like talking about the controversial ships but thank you for the positive vibes anon! love that

under the cut, just because the post is a little long:

actually im not super into shipping i think? i definitely value being able to imagine a dynamic for even the nichest pairings and have a lot of fun stretching or emphasizing certain parts of each characters' personalities to get them to work the best while opening up the potential for some development on each characters' side (thats exactly why im doing the ship bingo! its a ton of fun!), but theres very few things i actually like. Ship beyond surface level thoughts tbh. and recently the things i actually do ship have gotten increasingly niche. so enjoy this ramble that mostly pertains to specifically me and only me LMAO /lh

metadede ofc is the big one. not niche obviously. extremely beloved by me hiiiiiiiiii. they just have so much to work with in canon it makes so many varied interpretations which are a blast to see honestly. in general i love seeing how people portray their friendship too. an idiot whos smart to smart guy whos an idiot communication. enemies to friends to lovers..... their personalities bounce off of each other really well and the content the community makes is always a+. actually im going to take the opportunity to share my favorite mtdd fic ever. this is like pretty much peak metadede to me if anyone wants to know what i hope my personal interpretation will live up to [link!]

people might be able to tell ive been getting very into dametaberge. oh my god im so insane. no one look at me. dmk+jambacult found family Real. i have like three comics in my drafts for them. its mostly dametaberge thoughts rn but i like to think susie joins them later to make a poly ship. dmk and susie are a little tense at first but susie is, "like so over her knight phase," as she says, which dmk is extremely conflicted about whether to be offended or relieved at. and then they learn how to relax around each other and are always the two in the relationship to have awful destructive ideas, which flamberge vetos or approves of on a case by case basis. they get very happy and excited when flamberge approves of their awful plans

and of course my beloved gsa ships.............. theres falsgato which i am incredibly insane about thanks to my friend dragging me into it and now its a thing in my animeverse. enemies to friends to lovers I KEEP SAYING IM SO WEAK FOR THAT. dragato was a huge asshole to falspar for Various reasons regarding the nature of the gsa and perhaps dragatos own personal insecurity, but once they lost the war they got to bond since dragato like, realized how little the shit he antagonized falspar for actually mattered in the first place. and falspars a guy who really sees the best in people and ahahahghdjk its a whole thing its a whole thing i wont go into it rn LOL

theres also metarthur which is my very very beloved longtime rarepair. which i um. uh. ahahahah............. i get very slightly nervous talking about on main because a lot of people hc arthur as meta knights dad or parental figure but i shouldnt be nervous about hc differences really....... anyways theyre supposed to be like parallels of each other. people who are opposites thematically (arthur being leader of the gsa; mk being a former deeply infamous demon beast) who find themselves in similar positions in that they both kinda struggle with their sense of purpose vs their sense of self. meta knight sees his past struggles in arthur and so he finds himself drawn to him. he cant really Solve his situation, but (during their war-time relationship specifically) he hopes to offer some solace to him which functions as a form of catharsis to mk himself too. the two get to connect and understand each other in a unique way. i wont get too into this one right now either lol since the dynamic changes a lot depending on if its their during-war relationship or post-war relationship but theres the basics. i have a comic expanding on their general relationship in my drafts too but its at the bottom of my to-do list tbh. maybe someday though

im only into this one casually nowadays but morphogala... you really cant go wrong with "knight of death saves the greatest warrior in the galaxy from their torturous fate". something something the themes of wishing for the release of death being subverted into yes, death itself releasing you but in a way that actually Saves and rescues you instead. the hope and love in spite of all of the hopelessness AHHHHGH the themes of this one make me so weak. theres so much potential...... i really love this one on an aesthetic level too

you know i take my comment on "not super into shipping" back i think my multishipper ass has disillusioned myself into thinking being insane about like 4-5 ships isnt enough or isnt the norm. maybe i am insane about shipping......... oops

ships that make my thumbs up list in that i like them in concept but dont ship myself would be: marxolor; any of wave 3 x each other tbh. i have them as just besties in my hcs but paired up in any way is very fun; i kinda like shadow metadede but im really particular about the dynamic of that one; fransoos gets a very big thumbs up from me for themes and concept+enemies/rivals to lovers; metagala is. i dont super get it myself but the aesthetics alone are absolutely on-point enough to put this one in the thumbs up category. yayyyyyyy. im sure theres more that im missing but i think that covers any that arent too niche

[petruchio]

Sagittarius + 7H

sagittarius ⇢ what places would you like to travel in the future?

aaahhsdhsjsj EVERYWHERE. i would love to visit japan. id also love to go to ireland. and i think it would be super cool to go to egypt!!!

7H ⇢ what do you consider green flags in a relationship?

i think someone who doesn’t put down your interests or make you feel like you have to change in any way. i also think someone who respects your independence and doesn’t get jealous or insecure when you spend time apart, but isn’t detached and distant either. so someone you can trust and feel safe to be yourself around without any caveats. and someone who doesnt trivialize your needs or wants, no matter how trivial they may seem.

[you-did-well-moon]

questions tag :))

i was tagged by the lovely @bearboyunho thank uuuu

relationships: I was in one for a maximum of three hours dkejek. Ill explain in the breakup question. This is definitely not a relationship im proud of. It caused me too many problems considering how short it was...

break-ups: I have so many trust issues and insecurities, i think i still have a long way to grow before i can enter a relationship, besides i havent met anyone yet. I didn't lead this person on, i treated him as a friend. And i usually spent more time with him since we were both in track. He caught feelings for me which i honestly knew about but i didnt say anything bc i didnt have feelings for him. One day during lunch with all my friends at the time he asked for a relationship. He later confessed to me he did this on purpose because he knew i would feel bad saying no to him, and that paired with the pressure of my friends, i said yes. He held my hand, and it just didn't feel right. Everything didnt feel right. So three hours later i got him alone and told him i wasnt ready for a relationship but that we could still be friends. He took it relatively well, but he avoided me. His cousin confronted me and told me he cried all weekend, but she said she understood and that she was glad i said no in the end which i was confused about but didnt question just wanting to leave it behind. Then it all started the next year. Out of nowhere he texted me, which was ???? Bc i never gave him my number, but i talked to him believing he was doing this on friendly intentions. lol i was a dumbass. Later my friend revealed to me he had lied to her and said i was paired up with him during a project. I also found out he asked her for pictures of me. His cousin which im friends with also told me she was sure he was not befriending me on good intentions, and that she was creeped out by him. My friends had continuously told me he would speak about me as if we were together to other people, and that he stared at me for weird periods of time. At this point im fucking scared and confront him and say i dont want to be friends with him and that i dont think us talking or being friends is healthy for either one of us. He continued texting me, making me feel bad when i didnt respond asking me if i hated him i had to eventually block him. He gave me a present on both valentines and Christmas which i rejected but he forced me to accept them. After class i always packed up my stuff slowly bc i had a good relationship with my teacher and talked to her. He stood in front of me and just stared at me while i packed. We actually had a kpop club, and one day he showed up. I was part of student council, and at the middle of the year he started attending. He sent me kpop memes to try to get my attention. I felt so unsafe i told my English teacher. Eventually he gave up when i started being firmer in my silence and overall attitude towards him. so yeah.... a relationship that didnt even last a day caused all this. I genuinely wish i had been more careful. The red flags were there from the beginning and i tried ignoring them bc i wanted to be nice. Dont do that, if someone maked you uncomfortable please dont feel bad and cut them off for as long as you need to. Anyways- nExT quEstiOn.

kids: i dont have any but i want twins so badly it's stupid. I honestly dont mind having kids that aren't twins. I just want two tbh. A girl and boy.

brothers and sisters: i have one sister who's five years younger than me. Im very close with my two cousins tho so theyre like sister to me too. They're older than me by more than five years.

pets: i have three dogs. Two shih tzus Otis and Bella, Bella is mother to Otis. He's the only puppy we kept from when Bella had puppies. I have Rocky a very clumsy english bulldog. I also have a beta fish called Suho.

surgeries: Ive had two. One when i was four to get my tonsils removed because i got sick a lot, and last year i got my gallbladder removed because i had gall stones. That one was so painful i couldnt laugh or do anything without everything hurting.

tattoos: None but i would like one. Not big ones, just small meaningful ones.

countries i’ve been to: Mexico....i miss it

been in an airplane: my family is not in the class where we can take an airplane to travel or even travel to other states. Ive only been on it twice for a contest i won.

been in an ambulance: Twice as much as i can remember. Once for my sister who had a really bad seizure when i took her to a doctors appointment and the other when they had to transport me to another hospital when they first found out i had gall stones.

i sing karaoke: no but you can usually find me singing along to a song on the radio or randomly around my house.

ice skating: I would love to try. The closest ive gotten is rollerblading. I can't do any fancy tricks but i can balance, but oh no i havent gone in such a long time. My poor rollerblades are collecting dust in my garage.

been on a cruise: ..... this is a joke right? Let me have enough money to buy groceries first.

driven a motorcycle: ah i would really like a motorcycle, but no never.

ridden a horse: Lolol all the time. When i was young my uncle helped out at some stables that were literally at the end of my street snd and he always took me a long with him. A lot of my family especially in Mexico and in the valley have ranchos which means they have horses and you can usually find me hanging out with the lovely animals.

stayed in a hospital: I once went because my head was killing me and i found out it was migraines. I had gall stones for seven months and stayed in the hospital about two times a month so yeah i was there a lot. And for the surgery of course.

favorite fruit or berry: Watermelon and Guayaba. Also green grapes.

favorite color: peach and aqua.

last text: "ye ok" it was from me to my cousin since i was gonna go to her house but she was with my grandma who tested positive for covid so we both decided it would be safer for me to keep my distance.

coffee or tea: coffee. i need it to survive. As long as it has sugar im ok. But tea is great for when my stomach hurts. I just prefer coffee. I could drink it any hour.

favorite pie: Pecan, especially with ice cream its so good. Key lime isnt bad either.

favorite pizza: i dont really care? I like all of them but when i was little and we'd go to the mall my dad would always get this big pizza that was big enough to have things stuffed inside it and it tasted so good. Its a good memory.

cat or dog: dog but i really want a cat.

favorite time of year: Chritmas and Thanksgiving always. I love it. Especially Christmas when my family gathers together and we play games and everyone brings a traditional Mexican dish. We stay until like 4 am and its always great.

met a star: That one woman who had an affair with george bush. I met her. That doesnt really count. Yeah no one, i met basketball players but i dont remember from which team or who they were. I met ted cruz. Cool story tho my english teacher knew one of shinee's choreographers.

flown a helicopter:..... umm. nO..

been on tv: Nah. Probably in the backround of some news things.

broken my leg: no ive never broken a bone surprisingly.

seen a ghost: i had sleep paralysis it was close enough.

been sick in a taxi: never even been in a taxi. Ive been on a uber tho.

Tags: @doyoungbunnyagenda @butterflybam @brighttragedy @saturnsluna @waterfallsandrosebuds @jooheonyonehunnit @leecherryyong

[bayardboy]

Open Letter to Sunrise 3.13

“To Fellow Leaders: Sometime in my journey in Sunrise you impacted the way I move in this space, and I thank you for it. As someone who holds a title with weight I wanted to address my beliefs and role in the hub, especially as we head into the next stage of our course to win a livable future, together. I present my story of self, in hopes that I will hear yours one day!” - me, march 2021

OPEN LETTER TO ALL MEMBERSHIP AND LEADERSHIP OF SUNRISEPDX

March 13, 2021.

Hello Sunrise Hub Members; Hello my friends,

My primary purpose in this letter is to write the things I do not say, so you will know me better.

For those who skim, here’s the layout: First, my identities; Second, my roles; Third, my beliefs (including many quotes); Fourth, my observations; Fifth, cited sources. This is how I processed these thoughts; I encourage you to also reflect on your core tenants, in a way that’s most fruitful for you.

I am feeling called to write this letter because lately, many things are going unsaid. I don’t know if all of you are aware, but I have autism, and I don’t pick up on nuanced social signals. I’ve described it as, “when people tell me their story, I cannot read between the lines, unless I have read another book that tells me what may be within their pen.” However, I can tell something is amiss, because people have stopped talking to me without being explicitly asked to. There are many reasons this could be occurring. This silence is something I can hear, and something I want to highlight.

             I will first be clear about myself. My communication style is direct, and as honest as the English language can be (which is not very, speaking from experience). If you feel a strong emotion by reading this letter, please let me know and I’d love to have any length of conversation about your reflection.

             First, my identities: I am a white trans man, an educated youth, and a musician. I like to live my life in beats. I forget how big I am and that it is easier in this identity to intimidate people. I have been pushed to hold leadership my entire life, including girlscouts, theater troupes, camp counseling all ages, and many other privileged programs, but I would rather be sharing in a group of people. I live in the SunriseHaus because I have been financially independent since I was 18 and I love the culture of being working-class, except for capitalism’s burden. I was raised poorer than my younger siblings, in a majority-white Oregon town, which shaped my understandings about belongings and care. I like to joke around, and I don’t like when people are instructed how to show up. We should be here as our fullest selves.

             Second, my role: when I joined Sunrise, we had five hub Coordinators and weekly in-person meetings. When we locked down, a lot of the nuanced energies from being in person (which again, I do not read, but I can sense when they are awry) dissipated entirely and people moved away from online space.

             I was at my friend’s apartment on MLK on the first night of the grieving of George Floyd. We heard the people amassing on the boulevard, and we jumped up to join them. I realized quickly my earplugs wouldn’t be enough to keep me sensible in this crowd. An impressive Black man on a motorcycle drove into the mob to give instructions. I pressed close to hear him, devastated when he rode away. I began to shake with misunderstanding; in that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be of help to anyone. So I rode home, called everyone I knew, and figured out ways to support from home: water bottles, NLG numbers, jail support, bullying politicians, changing the public dominant narrative online, redistributing money, cleaning up after Riot Ribs… employing a diversity of tactics, outside of being frontline, excepting daytime rallies... in this work I do not understand the trauma of my peers from this summer, and I will not pretend I do.

Because of the way I showed up in online spaces (consistent, healthy, and truthful), I felt comfortable stepping into the trainings team co-coordinator role, then realized what I was actually doing was in the realm of Hub Coordination. It was a natural step to take on that title because of my focuses and my skillset, both things that were informed re: my identities. In the endnotes is a description of the Hub Coordinator roles that were drawn when Pauline and I transitioned in.[i]

             I’m learning that hub Coordination has a quality called, “soft power”. Defined by Wikipedia, “in politics, soft power is the ability to attract and co-opt, rather than coerce (contrast hard power). In other words, soft power involves shaping the preferences of others through appeal and attraction. A defining feature of soft power is that it is non-coercive; the currency of soft power includes culture, political values, and foreign policies.”[ii] This is an inescapable component of having organizers who are core tenants to the hub, as well as a community of friends who respect each other.

Also, Slack culture as a community has been severely shaped by the fact that some are very comfortable online, in writing, and others are not.[iii] As our community is also afraid of hard power, all our decisions in the last six months have been made by influence. I am very comfortable writing and therefore I am addressing that I know I wield more power.

             Is soft power problematic? It depends upon how it is wielded. There are hubs that operate and benefit without hub Coordinators. If I am ever asked to step down from this role, I will. Honestly, I’d rather be wholeheartedly focused on recruitment and relationship building. But what I’ve been hearing from our JEAO assessments[iv] is that we actually need more processes to bring leaders into soft power, to ensure that everyone has the equipment this work is asked for by our society. These are processes I am familiar with, but I also know that my understanding of leadership is inherently oppressive re: my identities and how I have been raised to interact with these constructs. Even though I’ll make mistakes and frustrate people, I will continue to show up everyday in the process of unlearning.

             Third, my beliefs: Because I wield this soft power, I need to be open about the way I encounter this work. If we interact often, these are the core tenants informing my words and movements.

1.       I believe in the complete abolition of the settler-colonial state, partnered with a societal reimagining and restructuring co-created by the most oppressed peoples of this nation-state.[v]

“As prison abolitionists, grassroots organizers, and practitioners of transformative justice, our vision for 2018 is one of clear-eyes awareness and discussion of the horrors of the prison system – and the action that awareness demands. As a society, we have long turned away from any social concern that overwhelms us. Whether it’s war, climate change, or the prison-industrial complex, Americans have been conditioned to simply look away from profound harms. Years of this practice have now left us with endless wars, dying oceans, and millions of people in bondage and oppressively policed. It is time for a thorough and unflinching examination of what our society has wrought and what we have become. It is time to envision and create alternatives to the hellish conditions our society has brought into being.” Mariame Kaba, “A Jailbreak of the Imagination: Seeing Prisons for What They Are and Demanding Transformation”. Truthout, May 2018.

“So, what might a Green New Deal built with rather than for Indigenous peoples look like? It would look like honoring what came before: the treaties, the tribes, the rivers from which we drink, the air we breathe, the land where we plant and gather our food and to which we return when our time is up. And by finally honoring these things – which have always been there, but which this country has ever respected or protected – we might build something Green and New.” Julian Brave Noisecat, “Green New Bingo Hall,” Winning the Green New Deal. Sunrise Movement, Simon&Schuster Paperbacks, 2020. p.124

2.       I believe in a complete just transition[vi] of our economic and power systems lead by social and racial justice reform and community building.

“Environmental justice isn’t a free-floating term. It was originally used by Black, Latino, Indigenous, Asian, and Pacific-Islander organizers to rebel against exploitative, unsustainable farming practices, fossil fuel plants, toxic waste dumps, destruction of natural landscapes they call home, and more. The harsh truth is that these communities have been organizing against environmental degradation from the beginning—white environmentalists just didn’t notice because the campaign message wasn’t flagged as pro-environment.” Rachel Levelle, “Confronting the Whiteness of Environmentalism”, 350pdx website, June 2017.

3.       I believe nonviolent civil disobedience is the primary tactic I must personally implement to be an accomplice in the accomplishment of the previous two goals.[vii]

“Peace is not something which exists independently of us, nor is war. It is true that certain individuals – political leaders, policymakers, army generals – do have particularly grave responsibilities in respect to peace. However, these people do not come from nowhere. They are not born and brought up in outer space. Like us, they were nourished by their mother’s milk and affection. They are members of our own human family and have been nurtured within the society which we as individuals have helped create. Peace in the world thus depends on peace in the hearts of individuals. This in turn depends on us all practicing ethics by disciplining our response to negative thoughts and emotions, and developing basic spiritual qualities.” Dalai Lama, “Peace and Disarmament”, Ethics for a New Millennium. Riverhead Books, New York 1999. p.203.

“Either [white people] accept that they have inherited this house of white supremacy, built by their forebears and willed to them, and they are now responsible for paying the taxes on that inheritance, or the status quo continues. I hope they will become radicalized by this moment and begin to fight fiercely for racial justice; but more than that, I hope they start at home, in their own minds and hearts. As I tell my students: a white person rushing to do racial justice work without first understanding the impacts, uses, and deceptions of their own whiteness is like an untrained person rushing into the ER to help the nurses and doctors—therein probably lies more harm than good.” Salvala Trepczynski, Black and Brown People Have Been Protesting for Centuries. It's White People Who Are Responsible for What Happens Next. Time Magazine website, June 2020.

             Fourth, my observations: The people who are called to this work know how to LOVE. Deeply, wholly, truly. We fight in love and we sing in love. We create amazing, beautiful projects together. I believe that we are called into this future together. We love the earth and all its peoples together.

             We do not extend that LOVE to ourselves. I take strong issue with the way people who are called to this work, approach this work. We create deadlines, overwork ourselves, and create stress that is mostly meaningless. We can be self-centric and self-serving in our immediate interests, but forgo food, water, and sleep in those moments. We replicate capitalist culture in determining value of projects and styles of work. We need to make better praxis of asking questions as we go, taking patience in our work and our bodies. It’s not our fault this is how we’ve been trained; but it’s our responsibility to resist echoing the structures that harm us.

             I am neutrally confused that we are afraid to take power as we position ourselves directly next to it. We have done the good work to recognize our voice as widely affluent, time-consuming, and progressive. This is a sound the State WANTS to capture, wrangle and blur in complacency. This dynamic is something we encounter so often in electoral organizing especially. Still working through this one, and the way it shows up in our lack of decision-making processes.[viii]

Subconsciously, we are adherent to the Jemez Principles for Democratic Organizing, which I think is a massive benefit to our partnerships and ourselves.[ix] We are also learning actively how to be representative and reflective of constructive allyship to people we cannot serve in our space.

             I am proud of how many teenagers and parents are in our hub. I am saddened by how often fighting for a livable future causes stress and burnout. This can be a joyous, relieving act: if we do not replicate the school systems that oppress us all, particularly Black youth; if we do not replicate the demands made of people with children, particularly by their workplaces. We should be working intentionally to create a safe, spiritual place to encounter these terrifying truths with patience and heart. We should be asking more direct questions of what will make this work enjoyable.

We don’t sing together lately, because singing to our screen is weirder than singing to our friends. I am anxious for the day we can lift our voices and spirits together again.[x]

I am EXCITED! to know YOU! And I hope YOU! Are equally excited to know ME!

I take responsibility both for my acts and their underlying motives. I own any contradictions.

We will be smiling in the end,

Mikhaila “Micah” Bishop (he/him) SunrisePDX Hub Coordinator text me with anything.

[i] Hub Coordinator roles

[ii] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soft_power

[iii] White Supremacy Cultural Traits: Worship of the Written Word is number 5.

[iv] JEAO assessments: #3, Structure

[v] LandBack Manifesto, 8toAbolition

[vi] https://www.ojta.org/just-transition-principles

[vii] Bayard Rustin’s Letters are currently building my understanding of what this means.

[viii] Offering Boston’s decision making guidelines, which also did not totally exist? Our issues are replicable.

[ix] Jemez Principles for Democratic Organizing

[x] https://soundcloud.com/sunrisemvmt

[stansbooty]

unspoken thing vi // reddie

“When are we gonna do something about this unspoken thing between us?”

words: 3913

ao3 link || 1 2 3 4 5

chapter 6: junior year part iv

The kiss wasn't mentioned. Neither was Stan's freak out. In fact, if Eddie wasn't there that night, he wouldn't have known that anything out of the ordinary happened. Unfortunately, Eddie was very much present for the whole situation. Very much aware now of what Richie's lips felt against his and very much aware of what it felt like to be afraid that his best friend would be gone forever.

But, the losers went back to being almost absolutely, completely normal. The only difference now was that Eddie could see a hesitancy in Richie's movements when he would say something to Stan. Almost like he was making sure that the words that would come out of his mouth weren't something that would be considered cruel. It was the first time Eddie had ever seen him think before he spoke, even if it was only slightly, and everyone agreed that it was a good thing.

Stan claimed that he was now over Richie, that he didn't care for him any more than a best friend should. Eddie didn't know if he was telling the truth or if he was saying that just for his sake. Because once secrets came out, there was no shoving them back in. Stan knew Eddie's secret that he had tried so hard to keep from him. To keep from everyone. But now it was like he could feel everyone's eyes on him when he was in the same place as Richie. Like they were staring at him, waiting to see what he would do next. He knew realistically that no one was actually looking, and it was his own feelings manifesting themselves into paranoia. But he didn't like the feelings. He was itching with nervousness all the time and wanted it to go away more than anything. And so began his plan to get over Richie.

It started where all deep conversations happen, in dance class.

"You know, we can switch dance partners if we want. After the test." Beverly said as they were practicing for their midterm exam. They would have to combine several dances to create one fluid 'masterpiece', as their teacher put it.

Eddie frowned. "Do you not like being partners with me?"

"No! Eddie, I love you." Bev smiled sweetly. "I just figured, you know, you had someone else in mind."

"Who?" Eddie asked dumbly.

"Richie!" She whisper-yelled.

Eddie's eyes went wide open. "Uh, no, I'll pass. That's not what I want."

"Yes, it is. I know you like him."

"I don't, we've been over this before. Attracted, yes. Like, no."

"That was forever ago."

"It was honestly not even a couple months ago."

Bev let out an exasperated sigh. "Exactly, forever ago."

Eddie matched her sigh. "Can't a person just be attracted to one of his friends in peace?"

"Not if that person would be so cute with his friend." She smiled.

Eddie glared at her. "Be quiet. It'll never happen."

"Nothing will ever happen if you keep flirting like you normally do."

"I don't flirt. If I did, I could definitely get a boyfriend." Eddie readjusted his grip of her waist, leading her further away from the majority of the class, not wanted them to hear his conversation.

"Prove it, date Richie." She grinned, and her eyes shown with mischief.

"I don't like him, though. Once, I like a person, I'll date them, I promise." Eddie spoke without thinking about it, suddenly aware that he had not had a high school relationship and didn't know a single thing about starting one.

Bev bit her lip, thinking. "Okay. But you actually have to like them, don't use someone just to prove something."

Eddie spoke with confidence that was fully faked. "Never. I'm gonna form a crush."

The world seemed to want Eddie to succeed, as only a couple weeks later, on the first day of the second semester, it brought a boy to his history class. He transferred from another class and he was cute. In a very conventional way, with light brown straight hair, green eyes, smooth, tanned skin, and a fashion sense that didn't look like he was going to a rave. Everything Richie wasn't. And, as luck would have it, a small little gay pride flag pinned to his backpack.

Eddie had been attracted to people before, but normally he didn't form crushes on people in such a short amount of time. But when the boy sat next to him at the beginning of class, pulled out a notebook and began taking notes in an organized way, with neat handwriting, Eddie swooned just a little bit.

The boy was someone who wasn't chaotic, he wasn't loud, he wasn't disruptive. He was polite (smiling at Eddie before he sat down), he was neat, and he was cute. Someone Eddie could very well see himself with.

At the end of class, Eddie put on his friendliest smile and stood by his desk. "Hey, I'm Eddie."

The boy looked up from packing his things and gave him a soft smile. "Logan."

"If you don't mind me asking, why'd you transfer?" Eddie tried to strike up a conversation.

"Just scheduling issues," He placed the last of his things into his bag and swung it onto his back. "I had to drop one class and take another, and things got complicated."

Complicated, Eddie thought, he definitely knew complicated.

"Oh, okay." Eddie let out a small giggle. "Well, do you have anyone to sit with at lunch? I know since you changed classes, it messes with your lunch period."

"Actually, I don't know." Logan responded.

"Wanna sit with me and my friends? They're a bit crazy, but they're nice enough."

Logan let out a laugh. "Nice enough?"

"I know what I said."

The two smiled at each other and walked out of the classroom. Eddie found that he was incredibly easy to talk to. He was someone that didn't leave any awkwardness in the air, he was always talking but every word seemed to have a reason for being said. Nothing was said simply to just say it.

Eddie led Logan over to the losers' table in the cafeteria, the same table they've always sat at. The majority of them were already sitting so Eddie grabbed a seat from the closest table, dragging it over.

"Guys, this is Logan." Eddie announced, their heads turning to him. Only Richie and Mike were missing from the table.

"Hey!" Bill smiled in a way that seemed like he had spoken to him before.

"Do you know each other?" Eddie asked.

"We've been in a couple classes together." Logan answered.

"Oh, that's great." Eddie clapped his hands together, sitting down and looking at his friends. "Well, Logan is in my history class now, so I figured he could sit with us."

"Of course." Stan smiled.

Bev watched as the two sat down, her eyes squinted in a glare and her lips pursed. Eddie could see her trying to catch his eye, but he ignored her, keeping his line of site on Logan, who had started up a conversation with Bill. He was glad that Logan knew someone else at the table, it would make the whole situation a lot less awkward, especially if he ended up liking Logan enough to sit with him every day.

"What's up, motherfuckers!" Richie's voice boomed around them as he sat down in a seat across from Eddie. Logan jumped slightly at the loud noise, but the losers ignored him, used to his loud voice.

"Oh, hello." Mike sat down and immediately stretched a hand out towards Logan, introducing himself. "I'm Mike."

Logan smile, taking his hand. "Logan, I'm in Eddie's history class."

Richie turned his head towards the unfamiliar voice, looking the boy up and down several times. Then he looked at Eddie, his head cocked slightly in a questioning way. Eddie smiled at him, ignoring the pain in his chest.

"I thought he could start sitting with us." Eddie explained. "We got lucky this period with everyone sitting here so I figured an extra body wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah, sure." Richie grumbled and looked down at his food.

Eddie watched as Richie and Bev shared a glance before they went back to their food, Bev occasionally looking up at him. Eddie purposefully laughed at everything Logan said that could be considered even remotely funny, he made sure his chair was close enough that he could set his hand on his arm without it being strange, and he inserted himself into several conversations with Logan. Maybe he wasn't the best at flirting, but he was going to pull out all his tricks in attempt to get this boy to like him.

In fact, by the third week, Eddie was exhausted. He had flirted his little heart out, even asked Mike for some advice, and then flirted some more. He and Logan talked every day and Eddie didn't think he could be more obvious that he actually did like Logan. Eddie couldn't find anything wrong with him and found himself thinking less and less of Richie and more and more of Logan. He sat with them at lunch after history and he was beyond happy that his friends seemed to like him.

His friends seemed to be noticing his frustration with the situation as well, as Stan dragged him off to the side of the school after classes.

"Are you and Logan, like, a thing?" He asked.

Eddie sighed. "If the boy would stop being so oblivious and flirt back, we would be."

Stan narrowed his eyes. "Since when do you like him?"

"Since I brought him to the lunch table, Stanley." Eddie rolled his eyes. "Where have you been?"

"Excuse me for not knowing you have a crush on someone you've never told me about only weeks after you said you liked Richie, who you kissed in front of me." Stan let out a groan and leaned against the wall of the school building.

"I thought you were over that?"

"I am, but I wasn't then, and you did anyways. We've been over this -"

Eddie cut him off. "Been over what?"

"That you had to like Richie a fuck ton to do that to me. So, don't go backtracking on what you said."

"Why are you getting so pissy?" Eddie crossed him arms in front of his chest.

"I'm trying to understand what the hell you're doing here." Stan responded. "I'm not getting pissy."

"I'm flirting with a boy who I like and want to date. But I've been waiting for him to make the first move, that's it, that's the story. It's not a big deal." Eddie threw his arms in the air, trying to make a point.

"It's a big deal when it's out of character for you."

"You can't put me in a box, Stan. Anyways, I don't want to argue with you." Eddie turned to walk away but Stan grabbed onto his arm.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me something. Just one thing." Stan said.

"What?"

"Just tell me you aren't doing this because of Richie." Stan's eyes were wide and hopeful.

Eddie took a deep breath, his eyes flicking down to where Stan was gripping his arm then back to his eyes. He liked Logan, he really did. "It's not because of Richie."

Stan's face fell but he let go and nodded nonetheless. "Okay." He said before walking away, leaving Eddie at the side of the building.

As he was walking away, he saw Logan and maybe it was the adrenaline rushing through his blood from the small argument with Stan or maybe it was his need to prove that this wasn't because of Richie. Because fuck Richie at this point, it was a little crush, and everyone made a huge deal out of nothing. But, Eddie ran up to Logan, his heart racing and stood in front of him, effectively blocking him from going anywhere.

"Hey, Eddie." Logan smiled widely. He was a couple inches taller than Eddie, nothing extreme but enough to have to look down at him.

Eddie smiled back and, before his brain gave him a million logical reasons not to, he threw his arms around Logan's neck and kissed him. The taller boy stumbled back slightly, and Eddie panicked for a moment before Logan kissed back, wrapping his arms tightly around Eddie's waist. Eddie kissed him with everything in him, desperate to put his emotions into the kiss. It was a nice kiss, Logan was the perfect height and his lips were soft, moving nicely with his own. And when they finally pulled apart, Logan let out a soft "Wow" that made Eddie giggle.

"I thought I was being pretty obvious that I liked you." Eddie said, a little out of breath.

"I didn't want to assume." Logan replied, grinning brightly.

"I invited you to sit with my friends the first day I met you. I haven't had any friends people in that group my whole life. Everyone else clearly knew I liked you."

"Oh." Logan's face flushed red and Eddie bit his own lip to stop him from smiling too widely. "Well, then do you wanna go out sometime?"

Eddie nodded enthusiastically and leaned up to kiss him again.

A week later, the two were official. It had taken only one date for them to decide they wanted to date for real and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Whether they were just holding hands in the hallway, making out outside of school, or practically sitting on each other's laps during lunch, they were always touching.

Eddie was grateful to Ben, Bill, and Mike. As soon as they heard the news, they were beyond happy for him, congratulating them both. They let Eddie gush about Logan all he wanted, and they were at least interested in his stories.

The opposite of that was Richie, Stan, and Bev, who, from the moment Eddie announced they were together, hit him with a series of questions and intense statements like he was in an interrogation.

"Do you even like him that much?" Stan had asked.

"What do you know about him? I don't trust him, he could be a serial killer." Richie said.

"This is a bad idea." Bev had given him a look of pity. "Are you sure you want this?"

Eddie had yelled at each and every one of them, especially Beverly, who had been the one to tell him to go out and find someone in the first place. Stan and Richie had shut up as he yelled at her.

"Can't you let me be happy, Marsh?" He paced around the room. "I like him, I'm dating him, we're happy. You're the one who told me to fucking prove to you that I could flirt. So, I went and found a nice boy and you have no right to question that."

"Eddie…" She tried to speak but Eddie wasn't done yet.

"No. If you were my friend," He looked around at Richie and Stan as well. "If any of you were my friends, you'd be happy for me."

Richie was chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, his hand coming up to run through his hair. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Eddie smiled softly and let out an enormous sigh. "It's fine, Richie. But your guys' support means the world to me."

Richie smiled back but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm sure Logan will be good to you."

Beverly just let out a huff that Eddie chose to ignore, still looking at Richie. "I hope so."

Logan was good to him, and Stan and Richie came around, accepting him and even becoming friends. Logan had that type of aura about him that made everyone love him, much like Mike did. The two of them became the closest, their personalities being very similar. However, Beverly never did accept him. It made Eddie's blood boil, but he never brought it up, and if it bothered Logan, he couldn't tell.

Logan started to hang out with the losers during everything. He was invited to sleepovers and hang outs and study groups. He became a real part of the group and Eddie couldn't be happier. He had stopped thinking about Richie, unless it was as a friend, and he couldn't remember the last time in his life that everything was working out perfectly. When he wasn't freaking out or stressed and he could simply just live life as it came to him.

They dated for a few months and Eddie could see himself being with Logan for a really long time, but the first home baseball game of the season proved to be a disastrous night.

They all sat on the bleachers (well, stood, for the most part). Bev, with some help from Mike, had made a huge sign with Ben and Richie's names on it that she kept lifted up for nearly the entirety of the game. She cheered loudly, like always, and got the crowd to go along with it. Logan happened to be a huge fan of nearly every type of sport and joined her in the cheering. Bev, who still didn't like Logan, was so invested in the game that she ignored her feeling towards him, the two turning into a pretty good cheerleading team. Eddie sat next to Bill, cheering, but mostly laughing at their ridiculous friends, who were covered in more sweat than the players.

They lost the game, by quite a lot, but Richie ran towards the bleachers with a grin on his face, sweat flying from his hair.

"We suck!" Richie announced loudly, yanking Beverly into a hug as she laughed.

Ben approached slowly, significantly less cheery than Richie. "Why are you so happy about that?"

"Oh, c'mon, it's all about the fun of it."  He ruffled Ben's already messy hair, who swatted his hand away.

"I actually think it's about the winning." Stan spoke up, crossing his arms.

"Oh, Stan, what would I do without your negativity?" Richie grinned.

"It's not negativity!" Stan protested. "It's thinking about the actual point of the sport."

Everyone muttered noises of agreement and Richie feigned hurt, clutching his chest. "Betrayal."

Eddie laughed and shoved his shoulder a bit, Richie fell into his body, wrapping his arms around Eddie's neck. "My Spaghetti, please don't tell me you're against me, too."

"Oh, shut up." Eddie pushed on his chest, trying to get him off.

"Eddie, the world could be against me, but I just need you." Eddie shoved him, hard this time, and Richie fell to the ground, dirt and dust being kicked up. He let out some curse words, groaning in pain. "Goddammit, why'd you do that?"

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and grabbed Logan's hand, linking fingers with him.

"Do you want to go get some food?" Logan leaned in, speaking softly.

Richie jumped up from his spot on the ground. "We're all going."

"Oh," Logan let out a noise of surprise. "I was just thinking Eddie and I could go."

"Actually," Bev stepped in, helping Richie brush off the dirt. "We all go out after the first home game. It's a tradition."

"Tradition?" Logan questioned and Eddie squeezed his hand hard, trying to get him to stop talking. "Haven't you only been friends for a year?"

"We did it last year." She responded, poison in her voice.

"Is it really a problem if my boyfriend and I go out?" Logan let go of Eddie's hand. Eddie tried to grab him again, but Stan pulled him back.

Eddie cursed himself for not fixing the issue with Bev and Logan when it started.

"Your 'boyfriend'," Bev put air quotations around the word. "Was my friend first and deserves someone better than you."

"Beverly!" Ben and Eddie yelled at the same time.

"Why do you say that?" Logan asked, his jaw twitched.

"You're boring, Logan, can you really not see that? I don't know what Eddie sees in you or how he could go from wanting passion to wanting mediocrity."

"Beverly fucking Marsh, shut up!" Richie grabbed onto her waist, trying to yank her away.

"No, Richie," She pulled away. "You all decided you were going to accept him but we all questioned why Eddie started dating him. It was out of nowhere and we still don't know shit about this guy."

"It's been a while, we know him now." Stan spoke up, who was still gripping Eddie's arm.

"We questioned it for a reason." She shrugged.

Logan took in a large breath. "You're a bitch, you know? I tried my best to like you because you're Eddie's friend but don't think for a moment that I didn't see your facial expressions or hear what you said about me."

"I wasn't trying to hide it."

"Eddie, I'm leaving." Logan turned to him.

"Okay, we'll go." Eddie tried to walk towards him.

"You're going to leave with him!?" Bev screeched.

"No, I need to go alone. Go continue your tradition." Logan said, smiling.

"No, Logan, I'll go with you."

Logan just shook his head and before he could even begin to walk away, Eddie grabbed Ben's baseball cap from his hand and started smacking Bev with it.

"What -" Hit. "-the-" Hit. "-fuck!" Hit.

"Eddie, you know I don't like him." Bev tried to defend herself from him.

"That gives you no right!" He screamed. "He is my boyfriend, not yours. You don't even have to be friends with him! He's my boyfriend! How could you act like that, so fucking immature?"

"He was trying to get you away from us!"

"He didn't know!"

"Oh, I'm sure." Her voice was laced in sarcasm. She turned to Ben and Richie, who were standing behind her. "You guys agree with me, don't you?"

"Bev, you know I love you," Ben started. "But that was out of line."

"I was defending Eddie!" She protested and walked towards Richie. "You would've done the same thing!"

Richie shook his head softly. "Eddie likes him."

Bev screamed out in frustration and turned on her heel, stomping away. Ben chased after her and Eddie could hear him trying to talk her down. He turned around, trying to see if Logan was anywhere to be seen, but he must've left during his yelling at Bev.

"I'm s-sorry, Eddie." Bill whispered, finally speaking up after everything, his stutter coming out due to the stress of the situation.

"We like him, you know." Mike spoke as well. They both tended to stay out of drama when it was happening.

Eddie chewed on his lip, hard. He could feel it getting raw and was sure it would start bleeding if he didn't stop. He was trying to stop the tears from spilling out of his eyes. "Why?" He asked softly, his voice breaking. "Why would she do that?"

"I don't know." Richie whispered, pulling him into a hug. Normally, Eddie would be disgusted with the dirt and sweat on his body, but he was too focused on what had happened to care. "It'll be okay. Logan knows that it wasn't your fault."

Logan didn't care whose fault it was. The next day, he showed up to Eddie's door with a nervous look on his face. And when he left, Eddie burst into tears, his first real relationship now over. Stan and Bill were over in mere minutes and Eddie cried himself to sleep, his best friends stroking his hair.

Fuck Beverly Marsh.

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