#meant to say but if anyone has any more thoughts about cbf!soap

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

change pt.2

childhood bestfriend!soap x reader

You went from seeing Johnny every weekend since kindergarten to only seeing him during the week days. And when you did see him, it was like he was stuck in his own world.

Johnny talked a lot, that was something you knew and were okay with that since that's what you grew up with. But recently his talks were nothing like they used to be.

Ever since the family get together it was everything about his cousin, the SAS, the military and Herefordshire.

He even started talking about joining, which made you incredibly nervous.

You wanted to be interested in it, you tried once but just couldn't quite grasp it, and frankly part of you didn't want to. Not when it was the reason why he had suddenly stopped hanging out with you to the point your own mother took notice.

"John's not coming over?" She had sounded almost as sad as you felt. "Is everything okay between the two of you?"

You didn't know how to answer so you didn't.

Two months. That's how long it took before you had finally had enough. He had blown you off for two months going to see his cousin and you couldn't excuse his behavior anymore.

It was petty, childish, but you were so hurt and angry you didn't care.

You didn't speak to him for the entire day. You went to school without him, ignored his texts and calls, avoided him at every turn and ate lunch by yourself. You stewed in your own anger, letting it boil up until you were sure there was steam coming out your ears.

You narrowly avoided him when school let out, ignoring his loud calls from across the hall, as you rushed out.

You didn't get very far before he grabbed your arm to stop you.

"Get off." You tried to shove him away but he was too strong.

"What's going on?" He demanded, a mix of emotions on his face. Confusion, irritation, fear. "You've been ignoring me all day."

"I said get off!"

You shoved him back as hard as you could and he stepped back, raising his arms with disbelief.

"The fucks gotten into you?" He asked and dared to be angry, as if he had a right to be angry with you.

"What's gotten into me? I'm not the one who's been blowing off their best friend two months straight. I'm not the one who has only talked about themselves and has seemed to forgotten who their best friend is just because of some random ass cousin who you barely even know!"

"I haven't been blowing you off-"

"Bullshit! You fucking forgot to take me home, forgot I was even there, and then acted like that wasn't a problem before you started talking about yourself."

You were shaking you were so angry and that made Johnny stop. Suddenly he stared at you with shame, guilt washing over him as he opened his mouth to say something but you didn't let him.

"You're a bad fucking friend, John!" You spat with tears in your eyes. "Don't talk to me."

"Wait-"

"Fuck off!"

Johnny didn't follow you. He didn't call you or text hours after either, even when his mind and soul were begging him to.

He fucked up. He knew he did. He hadn't realized how bad of a friend he had been, having been too caught up in the ideas his cousin gave him. Too busy thinking about the future, a future that seemed right for him, that he forgot about the most important part of his life. You.

He hadn't thought about how he really had blown you off until you said it. How he had barely seen you these past two months and how weird it was for him to not even notice.

That wasn't him. Even if he wanted to join the military, he knew he couldn't live his life without you in it, not fully or happily anyway, and he couldn't help but call himself stupid for treating you so horribly.

Panic, guilt and shame swirled inside him.

Johnny couldn't lose you. He couldn't but he wasn't sure if you'd forgive him easily, or at all.

It had been hours after the encounter when he showed up to your house. He didn't use the spare key and instead knocked. He was greeted by your disappointed mother who gave him a little bit of an earful (after he had gotten scolded ten times worse by his own mother) before she let him in.

You were in your room watching a movie on your laptop, though you weren't paying much attention to it.

You wished you could say if felt good to yell at him, but it only made you feel more hurt. All you wanted was your friend back, as mad as you were, you just wanted your Johnny.

There was a knock on your door and you paused the movie.

"Yeah?" You expected your mother but Johnny opened the door.

Your face fell and you fought the urge to turn your back to him. Instead you gave him a glare that he shrunk under as you sat up in your bed before you gave him an expectant look.

"I'm sorry." His voice was uncharacteristically small but incredibly genuine. "I never should've treated you that way."

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

"I should've realized it without you saying it. I'm sorry for being selfish and forgetting you." You noticed the way he blinked away the tears in his eyes.

"John-"

"You don't have to forgive me-"

"Johnny."

He shut his mouth and stared at you expectantly, his face tinged red with shame and his eyes laced with guilt.

After so many years, you couldn't imagine not forgiving him. Yes you were angry, yes you were hurt, but more than anything you just wanted to be friends again.

You opened your arms, inviting him in a hug that he immediately rushed forward into. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, burying your face his shoulder as he held onto you like you would disappear.

He sat on your bed and pulled you into his lap, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

For a moment you both sat there in each others arms without another word. It was comforting for you both, it was where you both belonged at the end of the day. This is where you wanted to be; this is where he wanted to be.

You pulled back slightly and touched your forehead with his, looking deep into his eyes.

"I forgive you."

You could count how many times you've seen Johnny cry on one hand. This was one more time, but you didn't mind as you shed a few more tears of your own.

Before long the two of you were snuggled together in your bed watching movies on your laptop. You laid your head on his chest while his fingers traced patterns in your arm.

It was the first night you both had fallen asleep in the same bed after months of being apart.

masterlist

a/n: just a little taste of angst before more to come >:)

@phmygod @humanities-cutest @cowyolks @poohkie90 @glitterypirateduck