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babiebom · 9 months

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Ranking Nerdy Prudes Must Die songs

A/N: because I need something to post and I’ve been obsessed since the musical came out. Also merry Christmas and happy holidays!! Also PLEASE DONT HATE ME

Tw:some sexual mentions, cursing, lyrics might be wrong bc I’m going off the top of my head, mentions of murder etc

Wc: idk it’s headcanons so like 3 points for each song

Misc Masterlist

15)The Best of You

I just don’t listen to this as much as I listen to the other songs

Like it’s not bad

I just don’t really listen to it

It sounds like a high school musical song and the child in me loves it

14)If I Loved You

Idk y but the first time I watched this song made me uncomfy

Well not the whole song literally just the “don’t need lover boy need lover man” part even though Mariah KILLS it idk what it is about that part

But also their voices are immaculate

like Actually I love their voices so much

And the song itself is VERY good

Again I just don’t listen to it as often as the others

OH BABE ID LET YOU KNOW

PERIOD

I also really love the chaos that would be watching two people do this in a cafe

Like how they’re standing at the door like “you leave” “no you leave” actually funny.

13)Cool as I Think I Am(Reprise)

SADGE

I DONT LIKE SADGE

But also they again kill this Mariah and Joey are top tier

The whole “you’re not as cool as you think you are” “you’re as smart as I know you are”

To the “IF I LOVED YOU I WOULD SHOW IT”

IMMACULATE

Would be higher up if I listened to it more often but alas like the ones before this I just don’t listen to it enough.

12)Just For Once

Tbh this is only this high up because of the iconic parts that I listen to over and over

Like I think the only time I listened to the whole song was while watching the musical in its entirety

I literally only listen to VERY specific parts of this song

I’m gonna skip around some of the lyrics but y’all know the parts

The “I wasn’t upset about the attention I ensnared JUDGE ME”

“It fucking worked, I’m fucking here, he’s fucking her, I’m disappointed”

“Should I let the coals burn out? JUST FOR OOOOOOONCE” LAUREN LOPEZ IS A GODDESS PLS

“The other day the Johnson’s borrowed my tap shoes. I used to dance”

Like actually makes my heart clench

Like I’m 23 and this song makes me feel like it’s too late to do what I want because there’s all these things I used to do when I was younger and now I’m just….living but not really.

11)The Summoning

THE CHAOS

HELLO FWENDY-WENDS

Out OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL AND BACK

I LOVE THIS SONG

Stephanie yum yum

I love the lords in black (especially because they’re so colorful)

Also the beginning of this song is iconic

Literally their chanting and voices are so good.

Honestly if they remade this musical into a movie with all sorts of cgi I feel like this would be a VERY CHAOTIC PART

I love it

Also I think I just love when it’s a bunch of noise that allows me not to think

Which is what this song is when they’re singing the repetitive parts

And I know people hate the repetitive parts but I love them

Like so good

10)High School is Killing Me

Again don’t listen to this as much as I should

But I should mention that I listen to this at least once a day so we see how much I listen to the songs after this one

IM DEAD!!

I’m scared someone comes for ME I’m unprepared

Jon and Lauren sound so good here and I honestly think this was the perfect way to open a musical

Like yeah it’s a little spoiler but it’s so GOOD

It’s hell on earth you know? I’m tweeting all about it!

The way Angela covers her mouth every time they curse is funny

AND the part where they’re like “is god the one giving the test” and Angela (Grace) is in the middle with the light shining down on her is imagery I love

Like idk why people aren’t mentioning that she’s literally a Christian and is highlighted in that part.

Stephanie was up late last night and couldn’t study bc she was arguing about the homophobic dog

Also crypto?

Also I think this song perfectly embodies what it’s like to be in high school?

Like it was killing me and I swore that I wouldn’t miss it after I graduated, and that I would always hate high school and that idk how I survived it

But now as an adult I’m like damn while I hated going to school it was something about those days that I miss so much. And I only graduated 5 years ago.

09)Bully the Bully

BE COOL BEANS

Keep the beans cool

Bean school

Also I think we’re starting to show that I have a very special place in my heart for Angela

I love how she performs and portrays characters

Also the fact that they’re just singing about bullying the bully for all sorts of different reasons is funny to me

Petey gonna jump on out ✋😐🤚

Jäeger gonna Jäger out 🤘🤪🤘

Also actually was a funny plan that probably wouldn’t work irl but would be funny to watch on a school fight page

Also the fact that Max says that it’s the nicest thing anyone has done for him

08)Bury The Bully

Oh no 😥 she’s snapping again 😟

Please let this be a normal field trip

Give off same vibes

Also I love the layers in the song

Mariah does a good job

HACK ALL HIS LIMBS OFF (did you say hack all his limbs off?) YEAH!

Also very funny

Like Grace’s descent into madness is entertaining

RUTH IS GONNA CUT OFF HIS NIPS

Also shows how stupid they are because they literally could’ve said that it was an accident

It’s literally 5 of them

Just be like yeah we brought him here to scare him and his stupid ass decided to stand on top of some old ass wood and it cracked under him and he died.

But no listening to Grace they become criminals.

No one is gonna make Ruth their bitch

“Do you wanna get the fullest ride? Then start CUTTIN RIGHT ABOVE THE THIGH!”

07)Cool as I Think I Am

Song that shows up throughout the musical

Like it’s in almost every single song if you listen closely to the background

And honestly it’s so good

Because it makes me feel something inside

Like it plays as Richie dies

As Pete and Stephanie realize that she’s gonna have to kill him

At the very end in dirty dudes must die

It’s just an iconic song

Also Joey’s voice is AMAZING

“If I could finally break the rules I would know that IM NOT A LOSER”

Of HIS WORLD HE IS THE RULER

He’s as cool as she thinks he is and she’s as smart as he thinks she is

It’s so cute

Like it’s inspiring in a way

And it’s like he’s finding himself.

LOVE IT

OHHHHHHH SHUT UP-Max

06)Go Go NightHawks

ITS LIKE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL YEAH

AHH AHH 🦅🦅

FIGHT 🥊💥

Fuck YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED

YOU FUCKING LOSERS

I literally just love this song and that’s why it’s high

Like literally no other reason other than this song gets me crunk

I wanna whoop clivesdales asses

Bitch ass hoes

Like I did not like my own school rallies this much

But I would love to aten one of these football games

05)Hatchet Town

He is Dan Reynolds with Action News

WHOS SWINGING THE HATCHET NOW?

I think her name is Bryce I am not sure

But the pretty woman who sings the slow part

So beautiful and her voice is literally out of this world

“I REMEMBER BEFORE THE LOCKDOWN THE SUN WAS SHINING ON OUT TOWN AND OUT KIDS COULD WALK THE STREETS”

Literally I was blown away when I heard this part

And I honestly just really like this song

Like it perfectly portrays how people act when anything happens

Like shifting the blame and causing hysteria when all you really need to do is be vigilant and listen to what the professionals are saying

But then also the people in charge don’t know what they’re doing so it’s like WTF do we do

“YEAH ITS GOT TO BE DONNA”

It’s a chaos song that depicts people properly

I feel like most of their songs depict people pretty well.

Like yeah it’s exaggerated but it’s accurate as well.

I also like dancing around to this song like I’m being sneaky and gossipy

“Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle” 🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️

04)Literal Monster

I LOVE THIS SONG

The only reason it’s not higher is because I listen to the other songs more

But OH MY GOD

everyone’s vocals immaculate

The dancing?

Amazing

Like actually literal monster is so good

“HE ROARS AND WE CRY HES THE REASON WE RUN AND HIDE”

Is her name Kim? I think this is Kim

I LOVE HER VOICE

Also everything about this song is just like YES this is how you do a musical

Also I think the guy who plays Max is named Will?

This is my first time ever hearing him sing and actually it’s so good

He’s the goofiest bully to exist like HUH

His little dancie dance is so funny

He’s like a Fortnite character

He doesn’t need anyone to tell him high school will be his peak

Also his obsession with Grace is so funny and comes out of nowhere.

And the fact that he hates nerds like her but somehow wants to smash even though there are more than enough people who are probably willing makes me think he genuinely likes her but would never admit it.

He’s a literal monster (lmao rip bozo)

03)Dirty Dudes Must Die

BROTHER

When I tell you I am obsessed

I mean I am literally listening to this song like a dozen times a day

And I sing it at the top of my lungs

I’m actually in love with this song

The only reason it’s not number one is that I like the vocals of the other songs better

“WHO WILL PRAY FOR YOU WHEN YOUR BODYS GONE? THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE FOR WHAT YOUVE DONE”

Like YES

“ARE YOU HARD BC YOURE STRESSED?” (What?) “OR IS THIS A POWER I NOW POSESS?!”

Like yes girl use your haunted poosay to kill everyone YES

Like actually her arc is so good to me even though it’s like not what you’d expect/think would happen

Like you would be like oh Christian girl has sex and realizes that it’s not that bad and that she doesn’t have to be a radical religious person

But instead she’s like yeah okay I’m gonna use my new evil powers for GOD and now no one is gonna stop me

She goes from crazy to crazier and I love it

Angela is the love of my life

Like actually she makes me wanna act

And also be absolutely insane but that’s a different topic

Good song gets me hype.

02)Dirty Girl

YESSSJSJAKWOWKNSKWLA

I know this song makes people uncomfy

But I am a horny girl and this song literally gave me whiplash when I first watched like

GIRL ME TOO

Their vocals and just the song itself is so good

Like her struggle with staying true to her religion and herself but also now feeling lust and want for someone that she previously never would’ve thought about before

And it does prove that Max is right about Grace being kinky af because as we see her descent into madness the things that she’s into are things that I know Christian people would be horrified at

Like when they bring him to the Waylon house and he’s aggressive and she’s like OH YEAH THIS IS GOOD

This song is just like look at her try to deny what she’s feeling and look at her struggle with something that many other people religious or not struggle with and look at how badly she handles it

Like if her parents would’ve handled this better Max would not have died

She is hungry for more and now her judgement is all cloudy because of ONE BOY

Everything could’ve been avoided if she was raised to believe that lusting is okay, feeling those feelings is okay

You don’t have to act on them but LORD they aren’t something that is wrong to feel.

It just makes it worse when you try to suppress things

But alas she lives in a no moan household.

01)Nerdy Prudes Must Die

IM SO SORRY RICHIE BUT THIS SONG IS ICONIC

Literally the name of the musical

And rightfully the best song

Jon’s acting and voice is AMAZING

Will sounds amazing

Like actually I could not stop repeating the “will you pray for me, when I’m gone?” Part for WEEKS

Like I’m still singing it to myself

It’s so good

IM NOT A LOSER

Like brother how he just sings that part is like OH MY GOD

Like everything about this song is good

And the fact that Max is like Yeah I couldnt care less how you actively dismembered me and defiled my body(his nipples) and buried him in an abandoned old house.

Like everything about this song is also tragic

Because everyone is celebrating his disappearance

And at this point I feel like he has to have seen that they’re celebrating.

And he was so close to changing

We see that he’s an asshole because of his family life which is tragically the reality of a lot of bullies and hurt people in general

So to have him on the brink of maybe changing and then dying and being dismembered and buried in a place no one knows he’s buried in

Is so sad in a way

Like we don’t even get to see if he would have changed because he does

And when he comes back as a literal monster he’s hurt and angry and wants revenge on the people and people like the people that got him killed even if it was an accident.

This musical is genuinely so good UGH

#starkid #sk #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes spoilers #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #musicals #grace chasity #max jagerman #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #pete spankoffski #stephanie lauter #ranking list #shitpost #random

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