#metoidioplasty for me NOW please. immediately

[tf2hcs]

can i get uhhhhhhh.. trans merc head canons?? maybe found family?? thanks!

you can DEFINITELY get trans merc headcanons. comin up hot. i have so many headcanons pertaining to the mercs being trans that i can’t fit them into one post, so i’m just gonna do stuff related to transitioning here, and if you wanna hear about how i think they realized they’re trans or came out, ill do a post about that too

Soldier:

you know how cis people think that you have dysphoria ur whole life and then you get The Surgery (The Surgery) and it all goes away that very day? and that’s just. it? solider is the only person on earth for whom that holds true

he has rod-insert phalloplasty and double incision top surgery

Jane Doe is actually his real birth name, it doesn’t give him dysphoria so he just kept it

his phalloplasty used his arm as the donor site, so he’s got a patch of pinkish skin on his left arm

he transitioned pretty early on, maybe in his early twenties. he’s known he’s trans since he was a kid

shaving gives him INTENSE gender euphoria

Scout:

he just went on T and boy is he excited

he runs in his binder (dumb) and frequently binds with bandages (dumb), so he has at least one deformed rib. twinsies 

like as SOON as he finds out medic is trans he asks for top surgery & gets it. he gets periareolar top surgery

when medic explains to him that periareolar top surgery keeps nipple sensation intact but double incision doesn’t he immediately starts calling the other mercs “numb-nips”

“it’s my shot day someone come stab me in the așs”

he didn’t choose his own name, his mom chose it for him when he came out. if he chose it it would’ve CLEARLY been tommy, as a tribute to tom jones

Medic:

double incision top surgery

i know this is wildly unrealistic but it’s tf2 so i will claim it. medic gave himself top surgery and instead of giving himself nipple grafts he just like, carved a smiley face and star of david on there

he knows the most about trans health and history out of all the mercs (partially because he’s old, partially because he’s a doctor, partially because he’s more involved in the community than the others)

because of this the other mercs come to him for help with trans issues a lot

he wants to have a baby biologically SO bad. so so bad. i think i get this headcanon from how lovingly he holds that baboon baby in the comics

he works really hard to preserve his fertility throughout his transition and as he gets older. he doesn’t end up being able to have a baby until he’s in his 50s but he’s so happy when he does

i could go off about my dad medic headcanons for hours but ill save that for another post if u guys request

Demo:

double incision top surgery for this guy too

talks about being trans all the time (every time i watch meet the demo and he says “i got a manky eye, i’m a black scottish cyclops” i mentally add transgender to the list)

constantly jokes about how he “blew it off” (you know what “it” is)

he has relatively bad dysphoria his entire life, but being open about it really helps

he doesn’t even know soldier is trans until he asks about the skin graft on his arm. he sees him use his rod implant and he just accepts that that’s how penises work

you know how being skilled with explosives runs in the degroot family?? my personal headcanon is that transness is also genetic to the degroots. both of demo’s parents were trans. ill talk about this more in another post if u guys want

Heavy:

no top surgery, his chest is a little large compared to a cis guy’s but his overall size makes it look more normal

if he ever does get top surgery, though, he gets inverted T/anchor incision

he has PCOS. he got a hysterectomy when medic was rooting around in there for the first time and noticed the cysts (”there will be so much more room in here once we get rid of your uterus!!” “room for what?” “…oh, you know”)

i think he might get full meta?? (as in metoidioplasty) i cant decide if he’d want a vaginectomy though. help me decide

Spy:

double incision top surgery. he paid top dollar for it, it’s very nicely done

he refers to his top surgery as a “mastectomy” (which is the correct term but like, who says that)

he gave birth to scout. he was pregnant when he met scout’s mom, and after he gave birth to scout he ended up leaving him with her. i cant decide if it was more of a “can you please take my baby” situation or a “im going to the store to get milk” situation. either way though i don’t think scout’s mom would’ve objected to keeping him, he was an adorable baby

he owns so many packers. he gets them custom made. he has them displayed in his closet like designer wigs

Sniper:

no surgery at all! he never plans on getting it either. that’s why he has the vest

his chest is like, small and somewhat muscular. you guys have seen skinny trans men with muscle tîtty before i don’t have to explain this to you

actually i want you to take this discord screenshot. i said this last thursday

he’s one of the most obviously trans mercs because he just insists on dressing like he based his outfit off the wikihow article for how to pass as male

i can say a lot more about my trans hcs for sniper in another post but im trying to keep this one at a readable length (failed step one)

Engineer:

no top surgery!

i think he has simple meta or maybe full meta without a vaginectomy (*epic rap battles of history voice* you decide)

he transitioned much later in life than the other mercs, his transition only actually started like five years ago

Pyro:

they’re agender!!

AFAB with no surgery or HRT

they use they/them pronouns or alternating he/she (”he’s not here, is she?”)

there’s not much to say about pyro’s gender! they just don’t have one

OH HOLY SHIT DO THE MERCS THROW THEM A GENDER REVEAL PARTY

ASKFLDLJSDKFLJDSFLKSDJFDLSKFJLSK

BONUS

Miss Pauling:

you know how when some trans women start hrt, they get really bad cravings for pickles? miss p has that like hell

she eats a hot pickle in her car every single day. it gets to the point where the people who work the graveyard shift at mcdonalds remember her (she has a habit of ordering “a fry container full of pickle slices”)

she takes estrogen but she doesn’t have any surgery! i dont think she ever gets any

scout very nervously explains to her that he’s trans at one point and all she can do is blink and say “did you think i was cis”

thank you for taking this journey with me. now imagine how long this list would’ve been if i didn’t narrow it down

[eachdubh]

Surgery

I’ve begun taking about surgeries recently, and it’s brought up some questions and concerns from family and friends. The first one I want to address is my identity. I’m going to make a little summary at the top of each one for those of you who don’t want to read it all.

TL;DR: yes, I still identify as gender fluid, yes I still prefer neutral terms and male pronouns, and yes, all male terms are still ok. So, I’ve been asked a number of times now if having surgery means I’m “fully” transitioning, if it means I actually identify as male, etc. The answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. And what answer I give may depend on who’s asking, why I think they’re asking, the context of the question, and how much I feel like going into a lengthy explanation. When strangers are talking to me about being transgender, I’m much more likely to refer to myself as a trans man, use all male terminology, and generally talk about my transition in a binary fashion. When I’m trying to talk about my transition simply, I’m also more likely to talk about my transition in a binary way. However, I still think of myself in a not-quite-binary way. The best I can do to describe succinctly is “mostly male”. Which, okay, I get it if it’s easier for you to think of me as “all male”, but if you do that and try to tell me that “x behavior isn’t very masculine,” I’m likely to point out that I don’t identify as entirely masculine. I identify as a non-binary gender, and that is the same whether I’m taking about changing my body or not. I don’t identify myself as a woman, so it makes sense (to me anyway) to not want female parts. I do identify as man-like, so it makes sense (to me) to want male parts.

TL;DR: yes, I want top surgery. I don’t know when yet, I don’t know much about risks or recovery, as I have yet to talk to my doctor about it. Okay, so my wanting top surgery isn’t new. I hate my breasts, hate their size, how they get in the way, how they look. I didn’t talk much about it before I came out, because surgery is scary, but after coming out I’m beginning to realize just how much of a problem they’re posing for me. Since I can’t bind, because it causes excruciating pain due to my other back problems, my breasts pose a huge problem for me. I don’t “pass”. I’m addressed as female, which is very psychologically difficult for me. And there’s the personal relationship I have with them, as well, which is, well, not great. I’m still somewhat torn between just a reduction, or what’s referred to as “chest masculinization.” If it’s a reduction, I’ll drop down to an A. But the idea of possibly still having trouble socially makes me lean toward having them off entirely. The main reason to keep any boob at all would be that I wouldn’t need nipple reconstruction if I do. I’ll have to discuss my options with my doctor, and it may take some time before I come to a form decision. Don’t worry, I’m not rushing this! Besides, even if I get to talk to her about this surgery at my very next visit, it will probably be at least two months before I can get another appointment, nevermind having surgery scheduled, etc. Even once I have decided, it’s likely to be months before I can have any surgery.

TL;DR: yes, I’m thinking about starting hormone therapy after all. I still need to do research and talk to my doctor. This is tied to the next item. Okay, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is kind of a hard one for me. Actually harder than top surgery. I don’t want to have to take hormones for the rest of my life, and if I want to do HRT that’s what’s it would mean. Literally, taking hormones for the rest of my life, no matter what. For this reason alone, I have resisted the idea of taking hormones. Some recent revelations about my health have tipped the scales, however. I probably have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, and even if I don’t I am almost certain to develop hypothyroidism anyway. The ONLY treatment for hypothyroidism/Hashi’s is to take synthetic thyroid hormones. For the rest of your life once it becomes necessary. If I’m already going to be taking hormones for the rest of my life, several of my concerns about HRT are basically moot. That brings us to the pros of HRT, which are that it will lower my voice, alter where I carry fat and how I build muscle (making my body appear more masculine), and allow me to grow more body hair. It will also have an important effect on my sexual organs, which I will talk more about in the next bit. Those are compelling, so it’s now an option on the table. Of course, I still need to talk to my doctor about possible health risks, how HRT will interaction with my other medications, etc. The final decision is yet to be made, but I am tentatively saying that I want HRT.

TL;DR: yes, I’m taking about the possibility of bottom surgery. No, not immediately. It will be AT LEAST two years after starting HRT before I’ll want to actually have the surgery. Breathe. Relax. It’s okay. This is future planning, this is not something I can or will do right now. Some doctors require only eight months before scheduling the kind of surgery I want, but I intend to wait two years, minimum. I want what’s called a centurion metoidioplasty, and I’ll be happy to explain as much as I know about the procedure to you if you ask, but I won’t bore you with the details right now. I’m actually really excited about the existence of this procedure. What is relevant is that a meta requires time on HRT before the procedure, because it uses existing body parts to shape the penis and ballsac, and those body parts will change with time on HRT. I’ve done a fair amount of research, though I’ll probably continue to do more as time goes on, and I’m certain that this procedure is the best option for me. I have already decided that I want to have it done, but I know that my insurance won’t pay for it, and there aren’t currently very many surgeons who even perform this particular procedure. So… Two years on HRT, plus however much time before I can save up enough to travel to a surgeon and pay for the procedure. Trust me, this is not hasty, and it’s not happening any time soon. I’ll have plenty of time to think about it, and so will you.

TL;DR: yes, I’m probably going to have a hysterectomy/oophorectomy. No, I haven’t talked to my doctor about it yet. If I start HRT, it will be in a large part because I want the metoidioplasty, so having a hysterectomy makes a great deal of sense to me as something to coincide with HRT. I need to discuss this with my doctor, find out what risks there are, what I’ll need to be aware of. Like top surgery, this probably isn’t realistically happening for several months, at the earliest. It’s a much more invasive surgery than top surgery, but also a very, very common procedure. That helps me deal with my fears about surgery a little. So will talking to my doctor, I hope.

So for those of you who are afraid I’m jumping into things too fast, please let me reassure you that none of this is happening tomorrow. Probably nothing will even be begun for several months. For sure some of it will even wait a couple of years. You’ll have time to adjust, and I’ll have time to consider my options and make final decisions. I’m not going to go into anything uninformed, and I’ll be happy to share any knowledge or insights I have about all of these things now and in the future. You have but to ask!