#mine only speaks in 80s movie quotes or is like “when i was in college”

[swim-culture-is]

swim culture is keeping a notes app of your swim coaches quotes, for example "everytime you do something stupid a palm tree in south carolina dies"

.

[writingwhilecaffeinated]

So… I have a fic idea. Of course. I mean, I need to finish my two WIP first. But I like the idea enough I write something.

It’s inspired by the fairytale The Six Swans as well as the classic 80s movie, Lady Hawke. A Regency fantasy Au. Everything’s the same except there’s magic. Should I write it? Or just kick it down the road? No idea…

It was a calculated risk Penelope Featherington took when she threw herself in front of the Queen and her trusted warlock.

A gamble, a trick, in order to protect those she loved most without revealing the truth of her heart.

It was, of course, her fault the Bridgerton Family was cursed. But that did not mean she couldn’t prevent the worst of the spell from falling upon her favorites.

Penelope, in her writing as Lady Whistledown, was certainly witty. Yet she grew ambitious, wanting more recognition, especially from her dearest friend, Eloise, who was growing tired of Whistledown’s gossip. Eloise wanted to focus on greater equality for women, magic and non-magic alike, so that they may study at the best colleges as the men do. All persons had some innate magic, although some were more gifted than others. But while warlocks were trained and celebrated, women had been burned at the stake for wishing to rise to power, and were suppressed to be nothing more than regular hedge witches and medicine women. Eloise was one such talent, unable to do more than he taught simple herbs and remedies, and even that was frowned upon since she was of noble lineage.

Penelope’s own magic manifested in her writing, easily letting opinion sway one way or the other depending on her intent. But Penelope had never intended for the Queen to be so incensed by her words that she would seek retribution. But she had, and Penelope knew she was paying a heavy price.

The worst of it was, the Bridgertons were not even aware it was her fault.

The particular pamphlet that had stoked the Queen’s fury had been about the… failed progeny of her lineage, both in securing matches and actions. She had written a particular paragraph that the Queen quoted at them as she barged into the Bridgerton home unannounced, like vengeance itself in a gown of blood red, her tight black and gray curls piled high upon her head. A crown of onyx sat atop her head, and her loyal warlock, Grimsby, by her side. With a wave of her hand she forced the entire family on their knees in the parlor, trembling against the natural burn of her magical rage. Penelope, who had been visiting Eloise to get her opinion on the scandal sheet that day, was unaffected as she was not the target. She paled, hand quavering over her mouth as Eloise and Colin shook in confusion and terror. The rest of the family was no better, all of them, including Kate and the Duke of Hastings. Violet Bridgerton, a weeping Hyacinth bent over beside her, tried to speak.

“Your Majesty, please, my children–”

“Are apparently superior to mine in every way,” Queen Charlotte remarked dryly, snapping a finger so that Grimsby handed her a folded bit of parchment. Penelope felt her stomach turn when she recognized the printing.

“‘Gentle Reader, it must be acknowledged that not only are the King and Queen’s brood quite useless in making advantageous matches, but in doing anything of real import. While the unruly sons breed like rabbits with all the whores of the realm, the daughters simply sit and simper. It appears our monarchs are nothing but figureheads. It is a sad day when the exemplary Bridgerton family act and are treated more like royalty, with their good works and even greater looks. The Viscount’s marriage to the beatific Kathani Sharma, and the Duchess of Hastings growing home of her own already surpasses the accomplishments of the Queen’s spawn in a matter of two years. Soon, the rest of the Bridgerton children will follow, under the Dowager Viscountess’ exemplary care.’”

Queen Charlotte looked up to arch an imperious eyebrow at Violet who blushed deeply.

“My Queen,” Anthony hurried to say, sweat beading at his temples. On one side of him he had Gregory tucked under his arm, the other hand clasped Kate’s fingers. “We had nothing to do with this. We would never dare claim to be better than your most esteemed family–”

“It does not matter whether you did or not,” the Queen snapped, her eyes narrowing on Anthony’s pleading face. “The damage is done, and an example must be made!”

She waved her hand airily and Francesca began to sob alongside Hyacinth, fear gripping the entire family’s hearts. Violet and Anthony were pleading as Brimsley took a step forward. Penelope looked from the Queen, who was beginning to turn her back, as Brimsley stepped forward, the blood red cloak he chose to match his Queen stepping forward, raising an arm with the golden band around his bicep that marked his status. Penelope’s brain worked quickly, flying between options faster than a bird in flight. Queen Charlotte was from Prussia, a descendent of a family of old magic, the type of magicians who loved to make deals… Queen Charlotte could never turn down a challenge when she saw one, but it could not be too obvious. No. Careful–

Penelope made a calculated choice, but she had to make it seem as random and powerful as a lightning strike.

“No!” she screamed, purposely tripping over her feet as she chose her target. With barely a glance at Eloise and Colin, she stumbled to the astonished form of Benedict Bridgerton and shielded him from view. Turning towards the lithe artist she embraced him, his face nestling above her breasts in a way that was more intimate than any encounter she had ever had. She bent her head, her fiery red curls curtaining his face as she whispered, “Please.”

She prayed he understood. That he would play along and would not hate her. Her risk was calculated. To provoke the Queen’s challenge, she also risked infuriating her more, and Penelope was not willing to risk the Bridgertons she loved most: Eloise and Colin. Her heart ached at the mere thought of putting any of the children in harm's way, and the family needed their mother, and needed the leaders that were Anthony and Daphne. And without Kate or Simon, Anthony and Daphne would crumble.

But Benedict had no spouse, Benedict was not as dear to her as Eloise, Colin, and Violet. And Benedict was no child.

So she chose her sacrificial lamb, in hopes he would rise to the challenge. And Benedict locked his gaze on her, his ocean eyes meeting her sky blue ones. She recognized the exact moment he understood, and his face set in firm resolution. Penelope’s shoulders shook with relief, her heart twisting as she recognized the fire that blazed in his eyes. The look of a man who would willingly die for his family.

All of the Bridgertons had an uncanny knack for self-sacrifice.

Swiftly he wrapped his arms around her waist, as if he was to say goodbye to all he held dear, and said just loud enough for all to hear, “My love, no, you must not–”

Penelope cupped his cheeks between her palms and tenderly kissed his forehead in silent gratitude, thought to all around it would appear like a paramour clinging to her doomed love. She tensed when she heard Eloise start, frantic, “Pen–” But she was on the other side of Daphne on the floor, and Penelope saw from the corner of her eye the oldest sister grip her Eloise’s knee in a silent plea. Penelope dared not look at Colin.

“What is this?”

Turning her face, head bowed, toward the Queen’s rich voice, Penelope kept Benedict shielded with her body.

“Please, your majesty, I beg you to spare him! I–” Penelope closed her eyes and breathed deeply, feeling tears sting her eyes and spill down her cheeks. Colin’s face swirled in her mind as she said, “I love him.”

She heard the Queen tut in amusement, and the swish of the older woman’s skirts move across the floor. A firm grip took hold of her chin, forcing Penelope’s face up.

“Look at me, little Featherington.”

Penelope opened her eyes to see the Queen’s usually brown gaze glow a molten amber, analyzing her for falsehood. Penelope held her breath, hoping there was just enough truth to her words to pass. She had not specifically identified the “him” she had referred to.

Penelope felt the burn of Queen Charlotte’s magic flow and surge under her skin. Benedict’s grip on her waist tightened, and Penelope moved her hands to squeeze his own in response. Soon the amber dripped from the Queen’s irises, the chocolate brown returning. She smirked and Penelope shivered under her assessing stare.

“Interesting,” the Queen remarked. “I tell you what, child. Let us test your love for this man and his family.”

With an airy wave, Brimsley was by her side, his short, stout form never once hindering the fear he inspired. Brimsley and the Queen appeared to be having a silent conversation, completely possible when loyalty and magical bonds were formed between two fated people. While the Queen was bound to her husband by romantic love, the bond between the Queen and her most loyal servant was a kinship that inspired absolute awe in all who beheld them.

Suddenly Brimsley moved his short arms in a swift upward motion and both Benedict and Penelope were forced to their feet. Brimsley’s magic, similar to the Queen’s own, blazed painfully as it forced them to stand upright. Benedict was behind Penelope, towering over her, and with a grunt of exertion he gripped her hips in his hands, trying to soothe the pain with his own power, like cooling water. It was a mere trickle, but it was a small comfort.

“I shall give you one exact rotation of the earth around the sun,” the Queen said, “To break the curse that shall be placed on your family, as well as the one that shall be placed on the two of you.”

“What?” Benedict huffed, his throat tight, sweat dripping down his neck. “How is that–”

“Fair?” The Queen cackled. “Dear Mister Bridgerton, nothing about this is fair. That is not the point!” She flicked her fingers and with an almighty crack Benedict’s head whipped back as if he had been punched in the face. Penelope gasped, and Benedict’s family screamed, Violet’s cry most heartbreaking of all.

“Please, please, we shall go along. Just don’t hurt him,” Penelope pleaded, daring to look up at her. “I beg you, if you must hurt someone, hurt me.”

“No–” Benedict choked, blood trickling down his nose just as Colin and Eloise yelped, “Pen!”

The Queen and Brimsley shared a conspiratorial smile before she continued.

“As I was saying, one rotation around the sun. During that time the two of you will have to find me three items from across the British Isles: the saddle of the trusted steed of Niamh’s mortal love Oisín, proof of love yielded to an ash tree, and the beating hearts of one who has loved and one who has lost. Bring these items to the sacred site of the Coldrum Long Barrow at dusk, and your curses shall be lifted.”

The Queen chuckled as if it was a game, and she was the benevolent gamemaster. In a sense, she was. Penelope was very aware that she could have cursed them or killed them and be done with it.

“What is our curse?” Penelope asked and when the Queen raised a perfectly arched brow, Penelope went on. “I think Benedict and I need to know what our handicap will be.”

“I concede your point,” the Queen admitted. “But let's get a look at what the two of you will be fighting for first, shall we?”

With a nod, Brimsley’s irises shimmered copper before he brought his hands up and across in successive, staccato movements. Benedict and Penelope turned in horror to see the Bridgerton family’s faces contorted in silent screams of terror as their bodies bent and contorted, bones breaking and reforming as long white feathers sprouted from raw, irritated skin. Clothes ripped and Benedict screamed as his mother and siblings transformed into ten swans of various size, shape, and color. Their plumage was stained bright pink from the blood they lost as the feathers emerged, and Benedict stumbled to the swan that was once Anthony, large and stark white, honking weakly when Benedict went to rest his palm on his soft head.

Penelope stood there, frozen, and she thought she was going to be sick.

“Lady Danbury will not be happy that her beloved godson is among them,” the Queen remarked absently. “But I shall explain it is for the best. It is good the Duke and Duchesses children are with her today. Two cygnets would be quite tragic.”

When Penelope’s silent tears would not cease, and Benedict’s cries did not quiet, the Queen rolled her eyes.

“Oh stop your annoying worrying. They shall be safe in my menagerie, well fed and given shelter. I am being quite merciful, do you not agree?”

Her narrowed brows signaled to Penelope what she was required to say. Penelope gritted her teeth, before curtsying, her knees wobbling and her stomach roiling as she forced out, “Most merciful, Your Majesty. Thank you.”

Penelope straightened and walked forward, gently but firmly pulling Benedict away from his feathered family as they flapped their wings helplessly on the floor. She turned Benedict and used her small hand to push Benedict into a bow. Benedict knew what he must do, and he cursed his weakness as he said, flatly, “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“Now,” Queen Charlotte said, clapping her hands and that now familiar burns flooded her veins again Penelope and Benedict were forced to stand upright, like little soldiers. “My two little lovers, your curse shall be quite special. For this mission you shall always be together. You cannot go more than 10 leagues from each other without feeling intense pain. Yet, forever apart. I have a fondness for animals, you see. And Brimsley here is quite good at making them. By day one of you shall be an animal while the other remains human. As the sun sets, you shall switch places. The cycle will continue every day until you break the curse, or forever if you do not.”

She laughed, high-pitched and shrill and Penelope had to physically fight back a wince.

“I really am quite merciful, do you not agree, Brimsley?”

“The most merciful and gracious, Your Majesty,” Brimsley said heartily. “Giving these two such an opportunity.”

“What creatures are you to force us to be?” Benedict ground out, visibly shaking in barely controlled rage. His face was flushed, his face crusted with dried blood, and Penelope could feel the quickening of his pulse through his wrist under her thumb. She stroked it once, trying to calm him with just a hint of her own magic, a fluttering of wind through the nerves.

“That shall be decided by your souls,” Brimsley said, and with a mighty crack of his knuckles, copper tendrils flooded his eyes again and he began to move. White hot pain enveloped Penelope’s body and she could hear herself screaming, yet she felt so separated from her own body. It felt like knives were shoving themselves up and outward from her skin, and she felt her bones break and disintegrate before they reformed into smaller forms. Her mouth elongated and sharpened, and soon she was cawing.

Cawing–

She turned her new eyes this way and that, her vision strangely sharp as she extended black wings with a strange, fiery red sheen. She could see Benedict shaking, collapsed on the ground from the aftermath of the curse. Light shown through the windows of the parlor and the cruel giggling of the Queen echoed around the room. Benedict extended trembling fingers towards her and she hopped on her small talons to be embraced by his large palms. He held her to her to his nose and it was there in the reflection of his glassy eyes that she saw herself.

Staring back at her was a large, raven, with unnaturally light blue eyes.

[snowlilys-wife]

Get To Know Me (Tagged)

1. What is your full name? Sorry, I’m just “Hannah” to yall

2. What is your nickname? Any classic “Hannah-(insert rhyme here)” joke you can possible think of

3. What is your zodiac sign?  Leo

4. What is your favourite book series? Im not into a lot of books, but manga-wise, my favorite is Fruits Basket and Servamp

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Nope

6. Who is your favourite author? Dunno????

7. What is your favourite radio station? I don’t listen to the radio

8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? Usually anything chocolate or strawberry will be good

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? “Awesome!” or “Nice!”

10. What is your current favourite song? Currently: “All Eyes on Me” by OR3O

11. What is your favourite word? ??? I dont think I have one

12. What was the last song you listened to? All Eyes on Me^^^^ XDDD

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Fullmetal Alchemist, Servamp, Ouran High School Host Club, Durarara!!, among many others

14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Servamp or Ouran

15. Do you play video games? Ahhhh sometimes

16. What is your biggest fear? Being alone or unhappy the rest of my life

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? Uhhhhhh???

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? My attachment and dependence on other people

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats

20. What is your favourite season? Winter/Spring

21. Are you in a relationship? No

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Having no responsibilities and being carefree about a lot of things

23. Who is your best friend? Asia, Honour, Emily, Briana

24. What is your eye colour? Brown

25. What is your hair colour? Naturally dirty blonde/light brown, but dyed Auburn Red

26. Who is someone you love? All my friends mentioned above

27. Who is someone you trust? All my friends mentioned above

28. Who is someone you think about often? All my friends mentioned above

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Anime Expo and my 21st bday

30. What is your biggest obsession? When am I not obsessed with anime

31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Depends on how young. As a kid, i watched a lot of Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (so think early 2000s cartoons) and Sonic X and Xialolin Showdown too!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My friend Nick

33. Are you superstitious? Not really

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? I’m afraid of a lot of things lol

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I enjoy being in front of the camera if I look good

36. What is your favourite hobby? Drawing, singing to myself, and video editing

37. What was the last book you read? Don’t remember

38. What was the last movie you watched? Don’t remember

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? Used to play piano. Not much now

40. What is your favourite animal? Cheetahs and Sloths

41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? All my friends mentioned above (crazyanime3, karmakitty, sleepyem1, and mermaibee)

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Invisibility or Flying

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? In my room late at night

44. What makes you smile? My friends, anime, good music, good art, my ocs, my OTPs

45. What sports do you play, if any? I used to play softball in high school

46. What is your favourite drink? Peppermint White Mocha, Caramel Macchiato, and Dr. Pepper

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Been years tbh

48. Are you afraid of heights? Im afraid of falling, but not of heights by themselves

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? Drivers who dont use their signals, when people say im a good “draw-er” (its not a word, people)

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yeah a few

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? NOPE

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A fashion designer

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Durarara, Soul Eater, or Ouran I guess

54. What is something you worry about? A lot of things

55. Are you scared of the dark? Not really

56. Do you like to sing? Yes but im terrible at it

57. Have you ever skipped school? Only in college

58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I enjoy coffee shops and ramen shops

59. Where would you like to live? In Washington or Oregon

60. Do you have any pets? My family does, but none of them are mine. We have 3 dogs

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I prefer to be a night owl, but I can easily fuction in the morning, I just need to get enough sleep

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? Yup

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? I like both. Headphones at home, earbuds in public

65. Have you ever had braces? No

66. What is your favoruite genre of music? Rock and Alternative

67. Who is your hero? Dunno

68. Do you read comic books? Yes

69. What makes you the most angry? Jerks and people who think they are better than/more entitled than others

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Both depends on what it is, but typically real books.

71. What is your favourite subject in school? Art and Drama/Theater

72. Do you have any siblings? Yes

73. What was the last thing you bought? $250 worth of Servamp merch

74. How tall are you? 5′7-8″

75. Can you cook? Some things, but not really well

76. What are three things that you love? Friends, anime, affection/attention

77. What are three things that you hate? jerks, public speaking, gross food

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

79. What is your sexual orientation? At this point, pretty bi I guess.

80. Where do you currently live? California

81. Who was the last person you texted? My friend Clover

82. When was the last time you cried?  A week ago

83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? Game Grumps, The Anime Man, Kubz Scouts, YandereDev (if that counts)

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes, but only with filters

85. What is your favourite app? Spotify/Tumblr

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? Mostly okay when there is no conflict

87. What is your favourite foreign accent? British

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Japan

89. What is your favourite number? 12

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? I’m Christian

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Both are terrifying and I dont like to think about them

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Nope

94. Are you allergic to anything? No

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? If I believe I am justified, then no, but I will almost always admit when I’m wrong

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach

99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "Keep going”

100. Are you a good liar? Depends

101. What is your Hogwarts House? I've never seen or read Harry Potter but I guess Hufflepuff?

102. Do you talk to yourself? Yeah, a lot

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Depends on who Im around

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? Not really but sometimes i write out my vents if i need to

105. Do you believe in second chances? I give chance after chance after chance after chance

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes if they are willing to

108. Are you ticklish? Yes, very

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Many times

110. Do you have any piercings? Just my ears.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Snow Lily and Sakuya from Servamp or Mikorin from GSNK

112. Do you have any tattoos? No

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Joining SL Discord

114. Do you believe in karma? Not really, no

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Both

116. Do you want children? Yes, lots!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? I know a lot of smart people

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Cringey weeaboo middle school me

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? A few times

120. What colour are most of you clothes? Black and red

121. Do you like adventures? Depends

122. Have you ever been on TV? No

123. How old are you? 20

124. What is your favourite quote? Cant think of one

125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? Definitely sweet

-collapses- That took way longer than I expected. Ive got a few more on the way too. Thanks for reading!

I tag: @kavourikarma , @sleepyem1 , @mermaibee , @chubbychicken1412

[samayacoorg-blog]

A Diet of Love

I was fifteen when I euphemistically became “a woman,” complete with breasts and menstrual cycle, and coincidentally, got my first official job at a bakery where the owner let us eat broken cookies, smooshed cakes, and unclaimed special food orders that never got picked up. Perhaps the exponential increase of high fat, sugar and flour brought on my womanhood, who knows, but the two got jumbled in my head at the time. What I do know is that the bakery job, feminine curves, and water retention added 20 pounds almost overnight to my skinny, tomboy figure, and so began my obsession with weight, food, and diet.

[Birthday cupcakes and not even smooshed!]

By age sixteen, a scant one year later, I was enrolled at a gym and eating a high protein, low-carb diet, “ground-breaking” at the time, that promised me a figure similar to the models in Seventeen magazine. While I managed to keep my body within a certain weight range, I did it with anxiety, punishment, lapses into binge eating one-pound bags of M&Ms™ that whiplashed me into starvation modes and depression. I never slipped into anorexia or other debilitating eating disorders and yet, I can clearly remember climbing on the scale every morning, with one eye shut, as if that would keep the weight down, and being devastated if it were one pound more than I wanted. And if it were one pound less? Well, then the world glowed and I was good and right and M&Ms™ lurked just around the corner.

College brought an acquired taste for beer and another 20 pounds. I stayed active in sports and jogged like everyone else in the 80s, and looked for inspiration which came from a dorm-neighbor who was a size 2 and my height (5’8”). I became fascinated with her, wanting to be just like her, my stomach flat and hips narrow (in hindsight, I actually had a similar shape, just more weight). Even after once, in girlish camaraderie, I had thrown my arm around her shoulders and instantly recoiled feeling like I had just hugged a sharp, plastic hanger, I still wanted to look like her even though it was clear it might not be desirable to anyone actually touching me.

The battle continued into graduate school and my first job in the “real” world. Blessed as I was with a body that gained weight uniformly (the shape stayed the same whether it plump or slender) which left most people to consider me average, inside my head I heard voices calling me obese, fat, chunky, gross, a slob. Most nights, I ate several cookies before going to bed, and at a restaurant dessert was not an option. On weekends, sticky buns were my crack, and for happy hour, a sweet cocktail accompanied by several bowls of nuts. At movies, bring on the popcorn with “butter.” I was obsessed with what I ate, and could not stop eating it.

[Really fancy restaurant dessert]

Yoga boomed in the 90s and I came to it as I lost interest in my financial career. What hooked me was walking out of class feeling calmer, taller, less obsessed and downright happy. So much so, that I took Yoga teacher training. Not only did we learn poses and how to teach them, we learned scripture. I clearly remember the swami asking us teacher-wanna-bes, “so, if the mind convinces you to have ice cream, then tells you it was bad that you had it, can you trust the mind?” It was a first Oprah ah-ha moment. I realized that perhaps the mind had been sabotaging my diet all these years. It was several months, possibly a year or so later, when I realized I kept “forgetting” to have my requisite cookies before bed. In small and subtle ways my diet changed, not so much because I forced myself to do it, rather because I just quit eating everything my mind told me to eat. And yet, I still didn’t drop weight and keep it off. I see-sawed, going up 5, down 3, up 10, down 11 pounds over the next several years. And those increasingly rare times when I did think about my diet, it was still from a punitive, finger-pointing, shaming perspective. I was good when I lost weight, I was bad when I gained.

Several years (okay, a decade or so) and one incredible Buddhist teacher later, I found myself at the silent Monastery where I study feeling overweight by several pounds. In this atmosphere, there was plenty of time to look at this thorny issue with a primary part of practice called Recording and Listening (an entire blog of itself — briefly, imagine having a conversation with the most kind-hearted, wise, loving person you can imagine, who only wants the best for you and gives that to you without reservation). There I was, recording about these extra pounds when I heard the following words, “Do it with love.”

[Maya loving Sam]

My entire body suddenly relaxed. I positively glowed with the concept as I grasped that the “it” was losing weight, the “with love” the how (a second Oprah ah-ha moment). In that quick shift of perspective from revilement to love, the action of dropping pounds no longer was something I had to do, was being forced to do, really, beaten to do. No, now, I wanted to do it, just like I wanted to go skiing, or dancing, or to the movies, or open Christmas presents. It moved from being a punishment to a favored activity. After all, the binge-eating, starvation, deprivation, shaming, withholding, comparison-to-others method hadn’t work as a stable way to lose weight since I was sixteen. It was time to try something new.

Still, how would Love lose weight, I wondered. (Yes, it seemed capitalizing Love made sense at this point — “Love” being unconditional, rather than “love” as in, “I love chocolate cake, and must eat 3 pieces to be happy” — very conditional.) As I continued my out-loud recording, bits and pieces of uncomfortable, muttered wedding readings of the First Corinthians Bible verse began to float back to me. “Love is patient … love is kind. … It does not…” Well, that’s as far as I got. I couldn’t remember the rest so I started there.

How would Love as patience help me lose weight? It’s never been a strong suit of mine, patience, nor is it mirrored much in society, so prevalent is instant gratification. Yet, looking through the eyes of Love, it occurred to me that patience and instant gratification may not be at odds. What if I chose to eat in a way that supported losing weight each time I sat down to a meal (instant gratification in eating responsibly at that moment to lose weight), and then waited to see what happened over time — i.e. be patient — as I made that choice at each meal? There was no contest, no competition, no have tos, no “gotta eat this way forever”, there was just eating as responsibly and healthy as I could at each meal (this meant, maybe no sugar, or a lesser amount, or lots of veggies and less protein — it could and did look different at each meal).

More relief spread over me as I relaxed into patience, until a nasty voice in my head said, “And just how are you gonna do that?” Ha, ha, ha, I grinned, remembering the next phase from First Corinthians — by being kind. Once again, I picked up the recorder and heard Love say to me, “Okay, so, you’d like to lose weight — how would you like to do that? By reducing the amount that you eat at the next meal? Okay, we can do that.” We … I noticed right away that Love was on my side. It stood with me, and rather than telling me what I had to do, it asked me what I wanted to do, what was I willing to do. It was so different than the nasty voices that kept telling me what I had to do, what I shouldn’t do, basically isolating me and leaving me out in the cold, alone. No wonder I wanted hot chocolate every chance I could get it! Instead, Love wrapped me in a warm blanket with it and was going to approach every meal with me and ask me how I wanted to eat and how I wanted to be supported. I was not alone in this choice to lose weight.

[Hot chocolate, or really, molten chocolate in a cup]

Shortly thereafter I left the Monastery and returned to the land of electronics and searched for the remainder of the First Corinthians passage. While doing so, I came across an Uma Thurman quote where she states so honestly and simply, “Personally, it has taken me 47 years to stop calling people who are mean to you ‘in love’ with you. It took a long time because I think that as little girls we are conditioned to believe that cruelty and love somehow have a connection and that is like the sort of era that we need to evolve out of.”  Amen sister, I shouted to Uma, as I too, have always believed that love looked like shaming, criticism, judgement, self-denial, abandonment, and punishment. It does not. And while I was raised Catholic and am now a self-proclaimed Buddhist, I have found wise words come from any scripture that has lasted more than a thousand years. Once more, in the words of St. Paul speaking to the Corinthians;

“ Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Love never fails, not even if we as humans do. Even if we don’t eat how we’d like to for one meal, one day, one year, Love does not abandon us, rather, it waits patiently, with kindness to pick up again when we choose to. And that will start the next blog…

[fraggle-batches]

Because these are fun

1:Full name: Not comfortable sharing that

2:Zodiac sign: Libra 

3:3 fears: ladders, loneliness

4:3 things I love: my cats and boyfriend and laptop and dogs

5:4 turn on’s: tattoos, good hair, smoking, choking, hickeys

6:4 turn off’s: trump supporters

7:My best friend: my boyfriend

8:Sexual orientation: pansexual

9:My best first date: went to a concert (styg, stray from the path, knocked loose), was soo much fun, and also my first concert with a s/o

10:How tall am I: 5′7

11:What do I miss: my nana, being confident in myself and those around me

12:What time was I born? like 5:30 am 

13:Favorite color? grey

14:Do I have a crush? on my boyfriend, and cole sprouse

15:Favorite quote? “

16:Favorite place? Algonquin park

17:Favorite food? Pizza

18:Do I use sarcasm? Never

19:What am I listening to right now? Flaked Season 2 on Netflix

20:First thing I notice in new person? Shoes, hair, actions

21:Shoe size? Women’s 9.5, Mens 8.5

22:Eye color? Shit brown :))

23:Hair color? Naturally: Brown, Currently: Blonde, Previously: Pink

24: Favorite style of clothing? Uhm idk like casual/skate/dude clothes

25:Ever done a prank call? When I was like 11, but i grew tf up

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now? I’m not..

27:Meaning behind my URL? Lord of the Rings (on a comedy video)

28:Favorite movie? ^

29:Favorite song? 

30:Favorite band? Don’t know, either The Wonder Years, Pink Floyd, The Tragically Hip

31:How I feel right now? Kinda shitty

32:Someone I love. Aaron

33:My current relationship status. In a relationship, one year at the end of the month.

34:My relationship with my parents. Was pretty fucked up for a while, I got kicked out and shit but now we’re civil and they buy me stuff to suck up for the shit they put me through/

35:Favorite holiday. 

36:Tattoos and piercing I have. I have my nose pierced, three 18g holes p/ear and one 10mm hole p ear.

37:Tattoos and piercing I want. I want to get a second nose piercing, maybe a septum, and my 10mm holes are going up to 22mm as we speak, I also intend to get an assload of tattoos when I’m no longer broke.

38:The reason I joined Tumblr. Joined it when I was like 12.. so I don’t know, just because it was ANOTHER form of social media for me to have.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other? I hate him because he’s a rapist piece of shit and I’m sure he doesn’t even think of me so.

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? Idek who the last person I texted was.

42:When did I last hold hands? Last night

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Depends what my hairs like, if it’s good, then 15 mins, if it’s shit then 35mins.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? Yeah

45: Where am I right now? On the couch at my boyfriends grandparents.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Maybe my boyfriend, maybe a nurse 

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49:Am I excited for anything? I’m going to see Roger Waters in October and I’m moving in 1-3 months.

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My boyfriend.

51:How often do I wear a fake smile? Often.

52:When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I think

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I’d fucking leave him and move alone and go back to fucking instead of dating (other people obv)

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Maybe

55:What is something I disliked about today? Got into a couple pissing matches with the boy.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gord Downie

57:What do I think about most? The amount of debt I’m in

58:What’s my strangest talent? Licking my nose maybe?

59:Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t know..

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind all the way

61:What was the last lie I told? “I don’t want anything to eat rn”

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? NEITHER

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts: no. Spirits: Yes. Aliens: no, Extra-terrestrial life on another planet potentially in a different solar system: Yes.

64:Do I believe in magic? No

65:Do I believe in luck? I don’t know

66:What’s the weather like right now? Shitty, cloudy, cold, and dark

67:What was the last book I’ve read? The Handbook of Human Sexuality

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline? Uhh yeah

69:Do I have any nicknames? -----

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably when I fractured my skull as a kid. Or the two times I broke my clavicle in the SAME spot like 3 years apart lmao.

71:Do I spend money or save it? I’m a compulsive spender

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Yep

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? I don’t think so

74:Favorite animal? Elephant maybe

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Same thing as I’m doing now basically... fuck all

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is? He doesn’t have one/exist

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by Stevie Wonder

78:How can you win my heart? Be a decent person and show the fucking world that I’m yours and you’re mine.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “fuck all you cunts from my hometown”

80:What is my favorite word? cunt

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr? nah

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “stop polluting, kill trump, learn how to give a girl good head, end world hunger, adopt dont shop, support everyone regardless, cherish each other”

83:Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so, but maybe

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? To be able to like pause life and be the only one who isn’t paused but I don’t age on pause so it’s chill. Or to turn off my bad emotions whenever I want

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I don’t know, I;m pretty open

86:What is my current desktop picture? My dog 

87:Had sex? Daily

88:Bought condoms? Hate them, but yeah

89:Gotten pregnant? No

90:Failed a class? Yeah

91:Kissed a boy? Yeah

92:Kissed a girl? Yeah

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah

94:Had job? Yeah

95:Left the house without my wallet? The worst!!

96:Bullied someone on the Internet? No... well maybe this one stupid piece of shit that raped my friend, posted her nude pics on a porn website and harasses her to this day. But I think that’s with warrant to bully so idc

97:Had sex in public? In a few places...

98:Played on a sports team? Other than school, no

99:Smoked weed? Daily

100:Did drugs? some

101:Smoked cigarettes? Yep

102:Drank alcohol? Yep

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Used to be 

104:Been overweight? Currently am

105:Been underweight? Yep

106:Been to a wedding? Yep

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Most of the time

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yep

109:Been outside my home country? Yep

110:Gotten my heart broken? Sort of

111:Been to a professional sports game? No

112:Broken a bone? Skull, elbow, clavicle x 2, wrist x3, most of my toes, both my thumbs, my left ring finger, my ankle, and foot.

113:Cut myself? Used to

114:Been to prom? Fuck prom

115:Been in airplane? Yep

 116: Fly by helicopter? No

117:What concerts have I been to? To name a few (not even close to 1/4 of them: The wonder Years x4, Moose Blood x2, Neck Deep, Real Friends x3, Modern Baseball x3, Knocked Loose, Stick to Your Guns, etc...

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yep

119:Learned another language? Started to learn german, dropped it. Spoke some french but I’m rusty.

120:Wore make up? Most days

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18? Way before I was 18

122:Had oral sex? Yeah

123:Dyed my hair? Every few months for the last like 4-5 years

124:Voted in a presidential election? Not yet.. 2019 here I come

125:Rode in an ambulance? No

126:Had a surgery? Small one

127:Met someone famous? A few people.. Dan Campbell from the Wonder Years being one of them

128:Stalked someone on a social network? In an innocent-ish “what the fuck is my boyfriend doing liking your slutty pics” stalking

129:Peed outside? Yep

130:Been fishing? Yep

131:Helped with charity? Yep

132:Been rejected by a crush? No

133:Broken a mirror? Yep

134:What do I want for birthday? A camera

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2-3. Nora, Avalyn, and idk maybe Declan, Jax, Quinn?

136:Was I named after anyone? No

137:Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

138:What was my favorite toy as a child? Pogs, Pokemon Cards, Idk I mostly read books

139:Favorite TV Show? Shameless is lit

140:Where do I want to live when older? I don;t know yet, used to be Alaska but the US is fucked rn

141:Play any musical instrument? A little piano, tried guitar

142:One of my scars, how did I get it? one on my hand is shaped like a dick.. i stuck my hand in a fire to get a cigarette that dropped when i was drunk and burned the fuck outta my hand, when it scarred the center got prominent, and dick shaped

143:Favorite pizza topping? Bacon

144:Am I afraid of the dark? No

145:Am I afraid of heights? A little

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yeah, I’ve been caught sneaking out and smoking pot and getting drunk when I was supposedly studying or having a quiet movie night in

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time

148:What I’m really bad at. Life, keeping my temper in check

149:What my greatest achievements are. I graduated high school, and got into college and university

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. “fat homewrecking bitch”.. but it wasn’t the truth

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Pay off my debt and adopt a load of animals in need

152:What do I like about myself? I got some nice eyelashes, and a nice rack

153:My closest Tumblr friend. ------

154:Something I fantasies about. Cole Sprouse 

155:Any question you’d like -------

[whenwillthearkreturnfromwar]

do all of them

this took me so long

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

dio

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

more outgoing? but not at first

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

dio

4. Are you easy to get along with?

so i’ve been told

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

oh def lol

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

girls

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

“relationship” lol yes

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my soulmate bryant… gonna be doing a tennis tournament in socal

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

if it’s guys talking yeah, otherwise nah

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

ummmmm probably you?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I lov u

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

love in color - taeyeon, i blame on you - taeyeon, bambi - jidenna, talking to the moon - kream, foldin clothes - j cole

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

if i like them yea!!!

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

luck idk… but miracles yea it’s a miracle that my girl likes me back lol

15. What good thing happened this summer?

:000 i don’t remember this past summer at ALL

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

UMMmmM OFC not to be cheesy but i literally wrote a song about slow kisses with her afsghfkj

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yess

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

who even was my first crush? probs some girl at church so no

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I haven’t had a bubble bath in years but probably

20. Do you like your neighbors?

idk my neighbours…………. one of them is the ex-fire chief of oakland which is cool i guess

21. What are your bad habits?

procrastination, staying up late, singing 24/7, not finishing drinks and leaving cups without washing them

22. Where would you like to travel?

I was thinking about studying abroad for a summer in college… we’ll see

23. Do you have trust issues?

i don’t trust myself

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

talking to dio

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my fingers are hella short so i cant play instruments as well as i’d like :(((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

go back to sleep

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

neither

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

dio

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

no..

30. Do you ever want to get married?

umm mayb? for the benefits i guess. if dio wants to

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

nooo i just cut it hecka short

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

none?

33. Spell your name with your chin.

pzagtgtik

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

taekwondo… fun fact i used to play basketball.. yea…. all 5 feet and ~1 inch of me

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV!!!! i dont watch tv anyway

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i liked you lmao

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

…

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

about 5′6″… brown eyes… brown hair that has these hypnotizing curly strands that frame her face… has this strong leader aura that u can kinda tell so ppl rly admire her but she doesn’t even realize…. amazing at soccer, competitive… but SO SOFT…. amazing hilarious storyteller… so intelligent and aware and always striving to better herself!! BEAUTIFUL IN SO MANY WAYS i mean i am actually so lucky so maybe i do believe in luck.. anyway that’s my dream girl… name is dio and she’s mine

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

thrift town? i dont rly like shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

go to college… probably ucsb actually…. parentals want me to go to davis more tho

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

if u mess up a boba order yea; if ur sm ent making amber miserable no

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im sleeping or being emo

43. Do you smile at strangers?

sometimes i return that flat-line grimace/smile that white ppl give poc in passing bc now that it’s been pointed out to me i can’t unsee it

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

bottom of the ocean is terrifying,, let’s do it

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the fact that i get to see dio

46. What are you paranoid about?

nothing

47. Have you ever been high?

perchance

48. Have you ever been drunk?

mayhaps

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

i don’t think so

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

purple

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

nop

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

my ineptitude at public speaking

53. Favourite makeup brand?

idk makeup

54. Favourite store?

farmer joe’s lol

55. Favourite blog?

@peachylook

56. Favourite colour?

orange!

57. Favourite food? 

korean

58. Last thing you ate?

boba

59. First thing you ate this morning?

oyako donburi

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I won a poetry competition one time and also a musical chairs game

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nop

62. Been arrested? For what?

nop

63. Ever been in love? 

oh man i’m so in love it’s embarrassing

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

LMAO i’ll pass

65. Are you hungry right now?

nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

some

67. Facebook or Twitter?

uhh twitter produces good memes sometimes so i guess twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

this trash site

69. Are you watching tv right now?

no

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

dio, bryant, clara

71. Craving something? What?

cranberry juice

72. What colour are your towels?

pink/white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 20

75. Favourite animal?

doggos/cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

red

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

mint chocolate chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white/orange

80. What colour pants?

black

81. Favourite tv show?

fresh off the boat

82. Favourite movie?

currently moana

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

havent watched either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

^

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

^

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

crush

87. First person you talked to today?

my dad?

88. Last person you talked to today?

dio

89. Name a person you hate?

*******

90. Name a person you love?

dio

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

tr*mp

92. In a fight with someone?

no

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

like 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 6

95. Last movie you watched?

the shack

96. Favourite actress?

lee sunbin the loml

97. Favourite actor?

???

98. Do you tan a lot?

i dont wear short clothes enough

99. Have any pets?

noooo :’((

100. How are you feeling?

sad bc my girl is sad

101. Do you type fast?

yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

oh man so many

103. Can you spell well?

w e l l

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yea

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i don’t …. maybe??? presumptuous of me to say

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

no

108. What should you be doing?

homework

109. Is something irritating you right now?

the fact that it had to rain this sunday of all days

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

@ dio

111. Do you have trust issues?

trusting my memory wasnt this already a question

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

dio

113. What was your childhood nickname?

…patti?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i was born out of it lmao

115. Do you play the Wii?

the first and only console i have ever owned

116. Are you listening to music right now?

no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yes

119. Favourite book?

whoa idk

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

only if i’m walking in it outside alone

121. Are you mean?

yes i’m p average

122. Is cheating ever okay?

communal cheating in high school hell yea #finesseTheSystem

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

no

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not rly

125. Do you believe in true love?

i believe in soulmates

126. Are you currently bored?

no

127. What makes you happy?

dio, music, good food, games

128. Would you change your name?

yea

129. What your zodiac sign?

pisces

130. Do you like subway?

does BART count

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

i should hope he likes me… we’re soulmates. and we’re both gay as hell

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

?????

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

taeyeon’s i blame on you and love in color!!!!!!

134. Can you count to one million?

i cant count my blessings how am i supposed to count to a million

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i liked boys LOL

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

5′1″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brown/black hair

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

march idk

143. Are you a vegetarian?

no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

tea

146. Was today a good day?

it was a day

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“I’m cool as a motherfuck.” - my old man gov teacher

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

not rly

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“If colour was not a straightforward matter in these racial categories, neither was fixity and immutability.”

[sadproblems]

Sunrise or sunset? both have different aspects that i like

Are you mentally ill? yes

Are you physically ill? no

What is the most expensive thing you have bought? a blouse (€80)

Do you have a job? sadly no

Are you in school? jep college is school

Are you a dropout? nope

Are you in college? jep

Introvert or extrovert? introvert

What do you think when you look at your body? what a disgusting life form i inhabit

What have others said when they look at your body? beautiful, good, healthy, ‘hot’

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? rn it’s ‘U’ by Majid Jordan but for a while it was ‘Welcome to the Hell Zone’ by Spooky Black and Bobby Raps

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? a lot of moments i’ve spent with flori i guess idk it’s hard to think of something when i’m feeling like this

Are you confident wearing a bikini? no absolutely not

Can you look people in the eyes while talking? yes

Has anything terrible happened to you? yes

Has anything wonderful happened to you? yes (seda)

Favorite part of your personality? i’m a very caring person

Least favorite part of your personality? i get jealous easily

Favorite part of your body? my eyes i guess?

Least favorite part of your body? my ‘love handles’ whose existence im still denying 

Favorite quote? “I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return” - Frida Kahlo

Do you have friendships with all genders? since gender is a really broad spectrum and often fluid i find it very hard to answer this question

Do you have a good relationship with your father? yes

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? yes

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? yes very

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? jep

Have you ever had a near death experience? i guess but it’s hard to recall

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? yes

Have you ever tried to take your own life? ha

Biggest lie you have told? something along the lines of “yes i’m fine yes everything is ok” or “no i haven’t told anyone”

Do you follow any conspiracies? i guess i do on some level

Do you believe in a New World Order? no

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run? i don’t have any more respect for the people who run my country than i do for the people who don’t. We have a very good healthcare and education system but the experiences i’ve had at my current internship have only confirmed that there’s always room for improvement. It’s also always good to view your governments actions critically.

Is there currently any strife in your country? in some ways: islamophobia has risen for example

Have you ever been displaced within your country? no

Are your friendships healthy? some of them

Are you currently fighting with a friend? no

Are you jealous of a friend? Why? yes because i’m a selfish crybaby child

Do you believe in the Illuminati? the illuminati did exist but they dont anymore

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who? lmao no

How can people tell you are nervous? they cant

How can people tell you are sad? by my overall tone of voice and vibe

Do you ever express your true feelings? sometimes more often than not

Regrets in your life? meeting certain people and letting them get close to me

Achievements in your life? graduating highschool and being alive lol

What did people say about you in school? kind but fat and an unpopular feminist

What did you say about people in school? i often questionned their morals

Is there something you have never told anyone? jep

Have you committed an illegal act? jep

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? buy real estate/shares/gifts for friends and family donate the rest

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18? 5: learn how to ride a bike (did that) 10: learn how to play guitar and ‘be cool’ (did one of those things) 15: get better grades and try not to get into fights with my parents (succes) 18: graduate (jep also did that)

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? no i was drunk selfish and felt bad afterwards i still like to think it didn’t really count nor happen (it didn’t) *edit: as soon as i get my real first kiss/(second less dumb kiss) that will be THE First Kiss Story™ i really do believe i have a say in this lol it also wasn’t that bad i definitely like kissing and the person it was with but the situation i was in just made me feel confused and a lil weird but still….i liked it….idk……..this is really messing with my head

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? average but with money troubles from time to time

Are you from a broken marriage? no

Have you been raised by a solo parent? no

Do you know both your parents? yes

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have? blue, dark blonde/light brown, medium to white but not pale

Have you abused drugs or alcohol? not really

What languages can you speak? dutch english french german

Do you conform to your societies standards? i do

Do you cry often? almost every day/ multiple times a day

Do you tell people what you think of them? only the positive aspects but also the negative ones if it’ll benefit them

Are you comfortable accepting compliments? no

Are you comfortable giving compliments? yes!!

Is any mental illness hindering your life? jep

Is any physical illness hindering your life? nope

Do you keep up with current events? i do

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read? may holding trump’s hand is the last thing i remember

What have you done today? i worked at my internship where i counsil students with social/emotional issues and try to help them/sign them up for rehabilitation programs

Do you sleep well? no

Do you sleep badly? yes and have been for more than 7 months

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting? yes

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting? yes

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why? yes because she was abusive and made me feel bad i tried to get her back when she dumped me but when she texted me almost a year later i let her go

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves? yes

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself? they try

Do you like your laugh? no i try to cover my mouth as much as possible

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind? no

Do you have any funny family stories? yes but they’re only funny to me

Are you religious? no

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies? yes

Are you interested in cults? yes

Would you like to raise a family in your country? maybe

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got? those fairy wings you can get at the costume store (mine broke)

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling? no only 2,5 years

Are you from a blended family? no

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not? i do but it takes a lot of effort and commitment from both sides

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you? “to me you are home”

Do you keep a journal? i do

Would anyone be hurt by reading it? yes omg

Do you have children? no

Have you been pregnant? no

List your favorite movies? jongens, le fabuleux destin d’amelie poulain, submarine, frida, leon the professional, pretty woman,love actually, paranorman, heathers, holes, little miss sunshine, studio ghibli movies,…

List your favorite people? florine, seda and her family, catharina, my family, joanna, alexandra and my cat (arthur and laura get an honorable mention)

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body? i have a birthmark right next to my belly button (my favorite) on my left pinky and two on my face (one above my lip on my cheek and one below my lip i hate both and am thinking about getting them removed) my scars lol on arms and knuckles but barely visable also one in my neck

Do you look after yourself? more than i used to but still not enough

Do you put yourself or others first? others!!

Are you happy today? not really

Are you loved? i am

[twentysomethinginorlando]

Thoughts on the D23 Expo Announcements

New Post has been published on https://twentysomethinginorlando.com/d23-2017/

Thoughts on the D23 Expo Announcements

Quite frankly, if you’re reading this blog, there’s a 99% probability you already know about the announcements that came out of the D23 Expo this past weekend. If somehow you’re unaware, D23 is the “official Disney fan club”. Every summer they do a big convention in Anaheim where Disney makes their major announcements for the year. I’d love to go one day, but except for the first year I signed up, I haven’t even been able to keep my D23 membership going. There just aren’t enough events on the East Coast, and I live at Disney World! Even though I’m a couple days behind, I want to talk about how excited I am for almost all of the announcements.

Magic Kingdom

Tron Indoor Roller Coaster: I’ve never actually seen the original Tron, only the sequel. However, I love everything about the look of Tron and the futuristic sleekness. I’m jealous of practically everything at Disneyland Shanghai, but particularly the Tron coaster. A friend of mine actually snagged me the Tron Duffy outfit on his last visit over there! I am super excited they’re bringing it to my home park. I am a little surprised we’re keeping the Speedway, and I am extremely curious how they’re going to fit it into Tomorrowland.

Main Street Theater: I am incredibly excited for a venue in Magic Kingdom that can do full length, indoor productions. I am mildly terrified because the concept art looks like the location of Town Square Theater. As long as Mickey still has a meeting location at Magic Kingdom, I’m okay. I love Magician Mickey!

We Wants the Red Head-The Pirate Makeover: Technically this was announced before D23, but I am still over the moon that Disney is realizing times are changing, and the parks should too. Little girls can be pirates too! Also, the selling of women into sexual slavery really has no place in any Disney Park.

Disney’s Hollywood Studios

Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway: Mickey Mouse is finally getting his own ride and it’s replacing The Great Movie Ride, or as I like to call it, “The Great Movies We Have the Rights to Ride”. I have several friends who will hate me for this, but I have never been a huge fan of GMR. (Former cast member, I speak in acronyms.) For someone who loves movie making, I’ve never been a huge fan of “classic movies”. I had to sit through way too many of them in college. I am perfectly happy for it to make way for my favorite Mouse, who certainly deserves his own ride after sixty years. I am not happy that they told the world before they told the cast, with barely a month’s notice that it was closing. I have a friend who literally transferred there end of May/beginning of June, who has been dreaming of being a Gangster, and now has no idea where he’s going to end up. I am also not super excited that it’s based on the new Mickey cartoons instead of classic ones. I am not a big fan of the new animation style at all. Plus, they really should have waited until Toy Story Land was open to shut it down, Studios really can’t afford to lose another ride right now. Plus now this makes Toy Story Midway Mania the only ride without a height requirement in the park! I did snag Fastpasses for one of the last days as soon as the announcement was made and am going to go film my friend’s tour.

Toy Story Land: I have been excited for Toy Story Land since I saw the concept art for Hong Kong’s in 2010. I am super excited it’ll be ready by next year, but I’m a little sad it only has two rides. The parachute drop ride found in Hong Kong looks like a lot of fun, but I guess it’s too similar to the Tower of Terror.

Star Wars Land-The Galaxy’s Edge: I honestly wasn’t a big Star Wars fan until Force Awakens, thank you Rey, but ever since I’ve thrown myself into the galaxy in a big way. Having seen what they’ve done with Pandora, I am super excited to see what they do with Star Wars. Rex is coming back! I don’t really remember him, but he was awfully cute.

Epcot

Future World: Epcot is my least favorite Disney park. I have never seen the appeal of World Showcase, partially because I’m a picky eater and partially because, generally speaking, eating at Disney is too expensive. Plus I still haven’t forgiven them for getting rid of Duffy’s meet and greet, and I probably never will. I am happy to see it’s finally getting some love and some much needed updates. Future World should have stopped looking like the 80s a long time ago. The new restaurant sounds cool, but I don’t see myself dying to eat there.

Mission Space: I actually haven’t ridden Mission Space since 2013, and I honestly don’t have much of a plan on changing this. It doesn’t make me sick or anything, but I have this OCD quirk where I need to be on the right and whoever I’m with needs to be on the left. The last time I rode Mission Space I got stuck on the left and it was super cramped and I freaked out. I just literally haven’t gone back, but I am happy it’s getting updated for everyone who loves this ride.

France: One of the reasons I don’t love World Showcase is the lack of rides. The theming is beautiful and it’s wonderful, but it’s never been enough to hold my attention for long. The only reason I ever stop in France is looking for Belle or I used to get fancy pastries before we found out about the whole “no dairy” thing. I think I’ve seen Ratatouille once, maybe twice. Mostly I just remember Audrey being mad at me for making her go see it. So I’m not exactly jumping for joy over bringing the ride here from Disneyland Paris, but I’m still happy we’re adding a ride to World Showcase. What I am really excited about is to see a trackless ride system implemented at Disney World.

Guardians of the Galaxy: They should have taken Ellen’s Energy Adventure out when they took away the dinosaurs. I mean, it’s a cute ride but it’s the most dated, longest, air conditioned place for a nap on property. I took my brother on it two years ago and he actually fell asleep. So replacing it with my second favorite Marvel faction? Heck yes! The idea that Star Lord went to Epcot as a kid is a little silly, but James Gunn signed off on it, so I’m in. I can’t wait to hear more details on this one, and it’s probably the announcement I’m the most excited for.

China: I’ve never actually seen the film we have now. Guess I should go check that out before they change it.

Walt Disney World Resort

Skyliner: This rumor had been circulating the internet for months, and I can’t wait to ride it, but I’m mostly curious about capacity. If each car only holds two-four, people are going to be waiting two hours just to get to the parks for the first few years of operation. I’m also psyched to see the different characters on them, but the fact that the concept art has two different styles of Mickey and Minnie trips me out.

Minnie Vans: Okay, these are adorable and I kind of want one for myself. I’m mildly disappointed they don’t actually have bows on them. I can’t believe Disney didn’t jump on this sooner, and we should have expected it with the Theme Park Express. I’m curious if they’ll be limited to dropping people off at the Ticket and Transportation Center for Magic Kingdom, or if they can drop off at the park itself.

Riviera Resort: It looks super pretty, and I’m sure it will be a nice addition but unless someone wants to buy me a Disney Vacation Club membership, I won’t ever get to stay there.

Star Wars “Immersive” Hotel: If this turns out half as cool as the concept art, it will be incredible. As I stated previously, I’m a new Star Wars fan, but I love attention to detail. I love the concept of looking out a window and seeing space instead of Florida. I love the bedrolls in the room art. I love the idea of being completely immersed in the world instead of just visiting it. The price point on this terrifies me, and my wallet whimpered the moment I saw the announcement. I’m also stoked we’re getting something cool before Disneyland. That almost never happens.

California

Pixar Pier: I’ve only been to the California Parks twice in my life, and both times there’s been a major refurb going on so I haven’t really had the full California Adventure experience. I have some friends who are disappointed about this one, but it honestly doesn’t make that much of a difference to me. I’m just glad they’re bringing “Paint the Night” back. I’ve never seen it and I desperately want to, I’m obsessed with the soundtrack.

Marvel Land: Mostly I’m just jealous about this. Stupid Universal and stupid contracts. Everything I’ve seen from some of my west coast friends about the Guardians ride out there looks incredible, and I look forward to what they do next.

Disneyland Halloween: Well that looks fun. Having never experienced Disneyland’s Halloween to begin with, I don’t have much to compare to.

Disney Cruise Line

We have four ships now and I still haven’t made it onto one. One of these days I will make it! Maybe with seven ships the trips on the older ones will be more affordable. I can’t wait to hear the names.

Paris

Of course someone would get a Marvel hotel and it would not be us. Well at least I know where I’m staying when I eventually go run the Paris Half Marathon.

Animation

Not theme park related, but the intro for the Big Hero 6 series looks so cute! I love that Mochi is making biscuits on Baymax. I am more psyched for this series than anything Disney’s put on TV since Girl Meets World. Plus I have a friend who’s engaged to one of the guys working on it so that’s just awesome.

To quote Victoria, “And #NothingForDAK”.