#moka's mom has got it going on --

[keelt9]

Cap. 1

Part 1

Masterlist

The soft breeze keeps making the leaves fall. You can hardly recognize their color if it is yellow, orange or a strange mixture of red, but she seems so immersed in the small show all of them give from the moment they detach from the tree until they crash to the ground.

“Is this your first time here?” The taxi driver takes her down to earth.

“Yes.” She sees the driver smiling and turning around in a small street, which she recognizes immediately. 

“Well, it’s almost winter, I bet you will have a lot of fun these days.” The car stops in front of a colorful house and she just smiles before opening the door.

If she counted the seconds between when she grabbed her bags and the moment she felt her lungs lost all the oxygen thanks to the impact of the hug, it would be less than 17.

“___, YOU’RE HERE! YOU’RE HEREEEEEE!” Carolina Mendieta, her best friend since childhood. Their friendship started in the third grade after both of them got punished for making a scene in the middle of the dance class. 

“Oh my god, honey, you will break her bones.” Her mother appears in the frame door with a big smile on her face. The fact Caro is 4 cm taller than her and has practiced karate since she was 5 years old turns everything into a  high possibility. 

“Mrs. Mendienta.” After Caro let her go, her mother immediately hugged her one more time. “___, darling, it’s amazing having you here, sorry for the over excitement.” She points with her eyes to Caro who seems like she just received the best present in years. 

The Mendieta's moved to Uruguay 8 years ago, after her father was notified about his promotion; __ used to joke about being a doctor brings benefits outside of the country. What seemed like the distance could break their prove just made it stronger, constant phone calls, video calls late at night and packages coming and going from country to country; reducing the kilometers and joining her hearts.

That’s why the house doesn’t feel strange or an unfamiliar place, iIt's like she has already been there multiple times, they go inside and a tiny black pug came running and barked all the way until he was  in front of them.

“Hi, Moka.” She squatted to be a little bit closer, she extended her hand and waited for him to make the first move to pat his head.

“I thought your father and Mar would be here.” __ said sitting and rubbing Moka's stomach. 

“Ahg, you know them, dad is a workaholic and Mar is in a shooting.” Mar, is the oldest sister of Carolina, she works as Audio Engineer, so she has been involved in multiple shootings from all types of genres.

“Here, __, you must be thirsty.” Mrs. Mendieta came from the kitchen with a tray of glasses of water and some snacks. “How are your siblings?” She asked her while they sat on the couch followed by Moka who already smelled the sweet essence of the fruit.

“They’re fine, thanks, annoying as always.” Her answer made them giggle. “Oh, how is the pregnancy going?” __ oldest brother, Esteban and his wife are expecting their first baby, driving all her family crazy with excitement. “Good, if everything goes according to the plan, the baby will be born in April.” 

“Your mother must be crazy.” She adds but Caro clears her throat. The mom topic isn’t one of __ favorite ones lately.

“Yeah, she is, but it’s hard to know if it is for the baby or for the wedding number 3.” She drinks a sip of the water. __’s mother, Lucia is preparing her third wedding, after the divorce of her stepfather Enrique Arteaga, one year was enough for her to get a boyfriend and 5 months later in an awkward dinner announced their engagement. 

It’s not like she didn’t want her mother to start a new chapter in her life, or her fiance. What makes her angry is the way she does things. After her father’s death, when she had 2 years old and her twins siblings 8, the following years were a torment; until 3 years after their mother met Enrique, they were in a relationship for 2 years before they decided to get married; Enrique is the father they lost in a early age; every soccer game, competition, festival, morning breakfast, pick from school and a sidekick, the three siblings found in him.

But suddenly the fights began and before everything became a mess, they decided to end the marriage, 8 years of marriage were resumed in a house sold, and the split of her family. __ chose to live with Enrique and her siblings moved in with her mother, well, just Valentina; Estaban got engaged a year later and 9 months later, they were celebrating a wedding.

“And, where are they spending Christmas?” Mrs. Mendienta changes the subject as quickly as she can. In a cowardly way to face her problems, __ notified her family she will spend the holidays with Caro’s family. Her siblings tried to convince her to at least spend those days with them but deep down her parents know letting her go was the wisest decision.

“Enrique with Raquel’s family and Valentina, she doesn’t know.” The conversation was interrupted by Mar's voice.

“I’m home.” As soon as Mar sees __, just like Caro, she screams and runs to hug her. “Shit, I totally forgot.” She spreads apart and grabs __ face in her hands. “God, how old are you 20?” __ laughs and Caro puts her eyes in white. 

“We are the same age fool.” Mar pushes her sister before __ can answer. “24, and you look so much better than her, how is that possible?” She laughs and hugs one more time.

In the dinner they talked about the news Caro forgot to mention and __ too, Caro’s father was excited too for having her in the holidays, and they all already have a schedule for her, one month of adventures, they resumed it like that.

“Your father must be proud of your work in the vineyard.” Mr. Mendieta mentioned serving the dessert. 

__ is in the last semesters of Agricultural Engineering, and she already had been working to specialize in oenology, the fact Enrique has a small vineyard was one of the main inspirations. 

“Or terrified.” She jokes causing everyone a small laugh. “I just hope to do a great job, and learn everything I can.” 

“That’s for sure honey, also your graduation gives us the perfect excuse to go home even if it is for a couple of days.” It wasn’t a secret that everyone missed Mexico, and being away for 8 years made them miss it more.

[the-good-projxct]

April 1st, 2024

8:52 pm Sitting in my bed with dangler, the sloth in Karen. Listening to are you that somebody by Aaliyah. My daily writing and daily meditations have not been as consistent but it is what it is. I realize my life is not consistent. I basically live between two homes and writing under those dynamics is tricky. But also, I just don’t feel settled so that could be adding to not writing but also this may be excuses because I was less settled in Nov and Dec yet I wrote daily. Honestly, I don’t want to come here with guilt because I am not writing daily. I am just glad that I am writing. I was with Munene most of the week. Just chilling, cooking, eating, movies, reading, cuddling and all that cute jazz. I came back to Karen yesterday and I am ready to leave already. Not that there is drama but because there is chaos. There's 3 little boys under 7, elders, staff, my mom, Shaka and visitors. It’s just a lot to go from two people to 12 people in a house. And since it was Easter weekend, guests were around yesterday and today. It was nice to come over, I do miss this place when I am away but as soon as I get back I am like okay, let's leave now Bb. Honestly, I can do 2-3 days here and the rest elsewhere. And I know I will always come over on Sundays because my grandma is home all day. Maybe friday-monday could be my schedule here for life. Some Days feel overwhelming. Who am I here? What am I doing? Where is this going? Then I remember, I belong to the Universe and the Universe is in control. I just need to be present and be here for the journey. It is hard especially when life feels/is so different right now. But I have Faith. I know what Creator has done for me. I know where Creator has led me from. I know and trust that whatever Creator has in store for me is what was meant to be and is all that can be. We’re socialized to think it's  “easier/safer” to take control and try to scheme the outcomes of our lives but really when I/we trust the Universe the outcomes are always beautiful and mind blowing. It was Easter Sunday so lots of family were around. It was nice to see some cousins on my mom’s side as well. I went to the mall with KaMami, we were supposed to go to a baby shower but it was ending so we went to the mall and spent time together instead. That was nice. Then I came home and mostly chilled. Today there was family as well, I chatted with some Aunties and cousins. KaMami made a feast so we ate ribs, gizzards, mashed potatoes, cabbage and fruit salad. It was nice to sit at the table all together. Okayyy spotify AI Dj, thanks for the prank! The only prank of the day. Anyway, after food, I came upstairs for a bit then went to the farm with lil Dash. Baario released a rabbit and Dash chased it AND caught it. We came back and I talked to Munene for like 2 hrs on the phone. Then I went down, chilled for a bit, and chatted with SweSwe and Moka wa Mwiti. I had lunch leftovers and did my bedtime routine. Now I am sitting in bed. I want to read but also, I am sleepy. I was sleepy last night when I got into bed but I stayed and tossed and turned till 5am. I had such weird dreams. It’s like my conscience had entered a soldier's body, a soldier that was deflecting from the american military complex. He was being fed seeds that you would put in water and they would turn into eggs, there were gas chambers and the rift valley. It was weird. Unsettling. Anyway, I am here. I am me. I am Gøod. Life is Gøod. Ase.

[withoneheadlight]

oh man that one with billy convincing steve to skip work has got me thinking trophy husband billy

Oh, anon! 💗💗💗💗adkahdshdhdkhkhdYESSS. I LOVE this idea!

And I’m SURE he would be the happiest trophy husband. And also the kind that's showy. Has so much fun going over the top with it, being gossip material. All cliché-y, and Diva-like. Basically confirming what everyone thinks about him (about them) precisely because it’s the diametrically opposed to what it really is.

Doing things like:

Mowing the lawn in mini-mini-shorts. Working on his tan on their lovely backyard on the sunny Sunday Summer mornings (in that exact spot where –coincidentally– Mr. Walker, their blatantly homophobic next door neighbor, would have to get out of his own backyard with his eyes closed not to see). Being reaaaally polite with everyone around (Mr. Walker included), smiling and waving his hand like “Hiiii, Janice! How did that new face treatment go?” because they live in a Nice Place now, six years after Robert Harrington made Steve climb his way up the company ladder right from the bottom “Exactly like everyone else”, both as a punishment and a trial; after working their asses out of their shitty one-bedroom apartment, having to prove themselves in every single step (as Steve and Billy, but also as SteveandBilly), but,

Here they are.

And now Steve has a very good job, one he’s genuinely good at, one that pays for much more than hardly the bills and maybe having dinner out from time to time. And they’re happy and they are together and they fucking made it, despite barely anyone around them given two shits. Now, Steve slicks his wild hair back from Monday to Friday, wears the nicest suits, so fitting and sexy and oh so preppy Billy sometimes gets a hard-on just from seeing them all together in the dressing room, hanging in a perfectly tidy line, made of the same material of sins.

So. 

He just doesn’t see the point in not treating himself every once in a while.  Make Steve run late for work or not getting there at all. In no letting himself enjoy the way those tailored beauties emphasize the shape of Steve’s glorious ass. Enjoy the certainty that in a big, stylish, impeccably neat office downtown, Steve’s dad is rolling his eyes all the way back into their sockets.

And also.

In not letting himself revel in the exhilarating feeling of sliding full into this ‘hot-mess trophy hubby’ persona almost everyone around them assumes he is. Steve’s Harrington boy-toy. “That California scum. Must be real good at sucking dick to get a deal like that.” Make the rumors roll down the small streets of Hawkins and under the door of his own father’s house. Thrive in the knowledge that every time Neil Hargrove hears any or those rumors or gets even the tiiiniest glimpse of them two together, going out and about holding hands,  feels like he’s about to puke his guts out thinking about what his son has ‘become’.

And aside from that, he kind of––enjoys, this trophy husband thing, to be honest. It’s been ten years since they got together now. Billy likes to keep things spiced-up. So when Steve is promoted and they move to be close to the new office, along with the house Billy buys a pair of powder pink slippers, fluffy ball of floating fur on top, and a see-through, fur-riveted robe to match. Some days he goes to his morning cockteling&tanning session in the backyard wearing only that (“Heeeey! How ya doin’ Mr. Walker?”). Kisses Steve goodbye long and filthy at the door, where everyone can see, opening the robe wide to wrap it around them both together, pressing their bodies flush, biting at his ear and whispering “Bring me a diamond when you come back, honey bunny” making Steve snort but say "You deserve a million of them, babe" making Billy melt, feel a bit like he's dripping love out of all the pores of his body, making a puddle that will permanently stain the glamorous white marble of the entryway as he waves Steve goodbye, scratches with feign indifference at the trail of fair hairs coming out his flashy-green pants to counteract the way Steve's killer smile makes him blush as hard as the first time, a whole decade away, that cold November night when he grabbed Billy by the collar of his T-shirt and said "I'm gonna kiss you. And then you're gonna punch me. And I don't care.”

It’s like a fucking fairytale. The way things were going? The most Billy expected out of life was live if fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse behind. But now, he’s got the guy of his dreams. He’s got a life he could have never dreamed of. He’s got Steve, now. Steve, who’s good, is caring. Always fights him back. Doesn’t buy any of the shit he tries to pull off. Steve, who's got lips like that moment the earth forgets about gravity when you’re riding down the hill of a rollercoaster. Got eyes that can rip out of you promises you never thought you'd make (like: I do and forever and not even death). That always see Billy when they look at him.

And now, he gets to wake up every morning before he does, put the Moka pot on the stove. Gets to see Steve’s sleepy face right after rolling out of bed, hair still untamed, pouty lips, bare feet dragging over the floor. See the way he beams, smile wide and devastatingly sweet when Billy tells him “I made you coffee, babe”. Gets Steve kissing him like a daydream, laying him over the kitchen table, fucking him before even touching breakfast with his fancy pink robe on.

And Billy thought he would have to change. Give something, to have something. Didn’t really mind. Too lucky to complain. Thought he would have to stop being mean once they got married. Play the tamed part. Thought he was going to have to behave to fit into the rich and respectable life they had landed at. But. No-No. Rich people? They’re way meaner than regular people, turns out. Billy’s just been upgraded to play for the Asshole’s World Championship Cup.

And he’s always been good at sports.

So he goes to the hair salon the afternoon before any important event. Gets a facial. Does his nails. Buys new clothes. Gets all Pretty Woman on himself just so Steve can show him off. And oh. OH. OHHH. Steve does show him off. To his dad. His mom. The whole party. Doesn’t give a fuck about whatever people keeps on whispering behind their backs. Offers his arm to Billy and Billy clings to him, keeps his chin up. He’s never been as afraid of anything as much as Steve not loving him back. He’s fearless now. Because here they are. So he lets Steve walk him through the crowd as the King he was born like. Brilliant. Proud. Letting Billy to deal with the vultures if he fancies to do that.

“Awwww. But look at you!! Anyone can tell you two are soooo in love!”

Fake boobs. Fake Louboutins. Fake Smile. Billy is Queen Bee now. He’s got this.

“Oh, no Miss Treadaway. I dearly appreciate you noticing how good my acting skills are. But it’s exactly as you said to Miss Walton the other day. I only married Stevie here because he’s got a big dick and it’s loaded. And he only married me because of how good I look on all fours. You’re too perceptive to hide it!”

But with Steve’s parents? With Steve’s parents Billy is relentlessly n i c e.  When Robert Harrington won’t even look at him. When Crystal Harrington blows saccharine all over him like in a bad magic trick, deceivingly sweet when she says, “Well William. Maybe it's time you get a real job too now our Steven is running his own branch" cold war buzzing between them when Billy spreads his most honest, open smile, not a millimeter of animadversion showing “But I already have a real job, Crystal. I take care of your son. And there’s also, you know, that side thing I do of running Garage” making her fingers clutch hard around her cup of fine champagne, making Steve’s lips fight to repress a grin, eyes fond, and soft and in love. And Billy will do whatever it takes, endure whatever he has to, if what he gets in return is this:  the way the narrow space keeping them apart feels like inevitability when they're about to kiss.

And everyone thought he was going after the money, when they married. Most still do. But Billy never actually asked for diamonds. Well, not for real. But he gets one anyway. Tenth anniversary and counting. It shines unreal on his finger, as much as this life he has now, as the liquid shine of Steve’s eyes when he says “They come from fire, just like you. I always thought they would fit so well. And looks like I was right” and just a few years before, Billy would have said “This is too much, I can’t take it” too afraid Steve would get the wrong impression too, too afraid to not be up to him. But now, he understands, that this is just another way Steve is trying to take care of him, to show him love. So now, Billy lets Steve spoil him as much as he wants. Take him out for dinner without reason. Hand him a sealed envelope saying, “What about showing me that ocean you love so much?” Kissing him in front of everyone, all the time, ringed fingers intertwined.

Lets him buy them a California King just to make a stupid joke, get Billy Hargrove to blush.

“We can ditch all of this, if you’re not happy. You know that, right? I don’t care about anything else as long as it’s you and I”

Billy shakes his head. “I am happy, pretty boy. Happier than I ever thought I could be” Tickles Steve’s nose with the fluffy, pink fuzz all around his robe until he sneezes and chuckles. “But I wanna know,” he says, tone pouty and tragic “It is true, what everybody says? Am I really a trophy husband?”

Steve shuffles closer, rumbles low in his throat. It’s an early Sunday morning. They’re gonna spend all time left until breakfast fucking in bed. Then cockteling&tanning together ‘till lunch. And then, after, he’s sure he can convince Steve to put on one of those gorgeous suits, let Billy grind against the soft fabric, make a mess out of him. Make him beg and squirm. Pull down his fly real slow, down on his knees. Suck him off. Eat him out. Make him moan I love yous brighter than diamonds when Billy gets inside him. But right now, Steve just kisses him silly, lowers down the covers to take a look down, at his leopard print, see-through, hideous new briefs. The cheapest ones he could find.

Because Billy’s trash. Will always be trash.

“Oh yeah, babe. You are. A fucking trophy. The best anyone could have”

But he’s posh trash now.

💎

The original post (xxxx) xD 💍

[iwilltrytobereasonable]

Things I have done since I really knew this was going to be Very Bad (three? days before Shelter In Place was declared for California)

* Accepted my father’s offer of the use of his truck for the duration

* Checked my cabinets and patted myself on the back for always having more chocolate, cake mixes, frozen foods and cheese than a single person should ever reasonably have

* Made myself Pumpkin Bread with candied ginger and gogi berries using half a large can of pumpkin for all the wet ingredients (highly recommended and doesn’t use up your eggs!)

* Popped into Safeway to buy like half a dozen eggs, one loaf of bread and two pints of yogurt

* Popped into Rite Aid to buy a four-pack of toilet paper (which could last me two months), a gallon of milk and a bag of doritos

* Bought five bags of dirt and another 15 gallon pot

* Started to have talks with my students, one by one, to help them understand the scale of this thing by explaining that it was going to be the worst natural disaster in my lifetime

* Gave like half of my seed potatoes, most of my green onions and a bunch of legume seeds including fava beans to the friend I babysit for.  Basically decided that I would only actually have physical contact with said friend, her partner and their baby for the next three weeks.

* Figured out how to work with my students by FaceTime

* Shelter in place declared. Made a Target run on my father’s behalf in search of cleaning supplies (found him only one of the requested items).  Incidentally also picked up an extra can of pumpkin and an extra bag of cat food.  Left cleaning supplies on my father’s front porch after calling him to say they were there.  When I came by to garden for my parents two days later, did not enter the main house, got into an argument with my dad by phone and kept having to dodge away from my mom who really sucks at keeping her distance from her daughter.

* Transplanted the rest of my seed potatoes into larger pots or spaced out the ones in the big pots.  Similarly transplanted onions and garlic, and planted more fava beans so they could nourish the larger pots.

* Spread compost around my recently transplanted hubbard squash.  Chopped back undergrowth under fig tree.  Also chopped back bougainvillia.

* Made myself cottage cheese pancakes for dinner one night.  Realized like the next day I have no sour cream for making Irish Soda Bread.  Made a pouty face.

* Went for a walk. Wandered by Trader Joes, saw the line and noped out of there.  Checked CVS and Rite Aid too on the way home - no lines, very empty stores, but they also don’t carry sour cream.  No Irish Soda Bread for me. Got a gallon of milk and a bottle of beer for making beer bread instead.

* Wrote a tune for Wild Geese

* Figured out how to install MuseScore on my backup computer after I also made sure I could run my tutoring site’s online tutoring client from it.  Started to try to write down the score for the tune I’d written the night before, got way too cold because this house has a sucky thermostat and gave up to go outside.

* Noticed a second hubbard squash seedling coming up next to the existing hubbard squash plant.  Rejoiced.  Spread more compost.   Chopped back holly and the oleander trying to take over my driveway because I never use it.  Planted a few garlic cloves that were sprouting in pots with potatoes to help deter pests.

* Memorized the tune instead over the course of a few days and made like five videos of myself singing it before giving up and posting one to tumblr

* Had a birthday.  Ordered myself fancy chocolate with one of the fancy chocolate gift certificates I’d been given.  Ate a mango for breakfast that I’d bought like... a little over 2 weeks before.  IT WAS PERFECT.

* Fancy chocolate arrived.  Have shown admirable restraint and have only eaten one like every two or three days.  I DO have a lot of chocolate in my house, it’s not like I’m starved for it.  I’ve been making myself cocoa.  And mochas (of a sort, using a moka pot).  And eating chocolates I have lying around.  There is enough chocolate in this house.

* Popped into a fancy-schmancy grocery to get elderflower concentrate because I correctly guessed the store would be EMPTY and so I’d have something other than cocoa to drink while working with students (cocoa depletes milk).  Also got black currant concentrate, replenished my cheese stock and got a cheese roll and got cheddar coins (basically cheese shortbread) that I promised myself I wouldn’t eat too terribly quickly.  Somehow forgot to check if they had milk.  I was almost out of milk.

* Made myself savory shortbread because it had been two days and I was eating the cheddar coins too quickly. Also because that cheese was threatening to mold.

* Got into a big argument with my mom because she was cleaning out stuff from my brother’s and my old room and had just up and insisted on me taking several black bags of stuff to put in this house with very little warning.  There is ...more to that, but it sucked.

* Dressed up in a broad brimmed hat, bandana and cape to go get milk at Rite Aid because my cousin dared me to and because I am so fucking Swedish I can apparently live on dairy alone.  Also bought a pint of ice cream.

* Made myself cheesy beer bread because my PARMESAN was threatening to mold (the nerve!)  Realized the odd after taste in my shortbread was also in my beer bread, but knew I’d trimmed the cheeses properly.  Smelled the flour I’d used, realized it was definitely the problem, pouted.  Fortunately have a bag and a half that are NOT stale for future endeavors.

* Looked up things to do with stale flour.  Dusted some onto plants with aphid problems.  Began a sourdough starter with a couple raisins and a bit of the flour.

* Harvested peas from my garden.  Thank heaven for volunteer plants!  I planted these peas’ grandparents, and lo they have fruited to the third generation without my interference.

* Finally braved a grocery store that had a line today (but still a very small one) so I could get produce for the first time in ...a whole month, I think. Wow.

* Transplanted new hubbard squash seedling to its own pot so it wouldn’t crowd the larger one.  Planted two garlic cloves and an onion that were sprouting.  Planted the end piece of the shallots I used for dinner. (Made a really really good kale, shallot and sausage stir fry for dinner.  Really good.)

[virtuangel]

rosehip tea, yellow tea, hop tea, & hot chocolate (for the ask game)! We haven’t talked in so long omg how are you?!!

it REALLY HAS been a while!!!!!!!!!! im good, what about you!!!!! ♥♥

rosehip tea: which book did you love when you were younger?

omg!! i was absolutely in love with nevermore by linda newbery!! i lowkey can’t remember much about it because i’ve always had this thing where .. when i really love a book i end up not remembering anything from it a short time after finishing it sdkjfk but it’s basically a young girl n her mom moving to like a new house, an old one and it basically has this mysterious feeling and she kinda explores the house and discovers some stuff (but i obviously can’t remember what exactly </3) there’s some mystery about like. the owner of the house i think but like i really don’t remember much. 

another one i loved, although a few years after that, is l’enfant des ombres by moka,, i don’t think there’s an english version published,,? it’s kinda a mystery/horror for children i’d say like it’s very obviously a book for a younger audience like children or young teens but it kinda shocked me how .. gore it can get despite that? i really loved this one, i read it for school at first but it was my first time in a WHILE staying up all night because of how invested in a book i was.. then i read it multiple times after that, even fairly recently.. there’s just something about the characters and the way the story is presented and the dynamics and just... i don’t know i love it! it’s a story happening in a boarding school; some horrific stuff is starting to happen with some mysterious “shadows” just ... well uh killing people. some children kinda become friends at first to kinda just. have something to do and then they end up actually working together to figure out what’s going on and stop the chaos basically <3

yellow tea: what shampoo do you use?

i use a (garnier) coconut-scented shampoo!! at first it was just because it was one my mom bought for me n my brother years ago but since then i just rlly fell for the scent <3 i love it <3 so now that i’m living alone it’s like the only one i’m buying sdkjfnks

hop tea: do you have a favourite tea? which one?

i don’t really have a favourite, i don’t think? i’d drink any tea, any time honestly!! but if i had to choose then maybe just a basic earl grey with a slice of lemon!!

hot chocolate: do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? which one(s)? 

i’ve always had a lot of stuffed animals, but i don’t have any here, right now;; i definitely regret my decision not to take any of them with me here. but back at home i have quite a few! first of all a plushie of serafina from (barbie) princess and the pauper, i’ve had it since i was VERY small and she is just the love of my life i love her and i miss her so much sobs, there’s also a microwave warmer plushie that’s a cute small pig! a tiny seal i bought years ago on a school trip to the sea... another plushie of a white cat!! and a teddy bear i got as a goodbye gift from my teachers and classmates from elementary school when i was first moving out of poland. that might be all? it’s been,, a while,,, i have a lot more back in poland too but like that’s skdjfnk really too many to list

[lovinitkpop]

Brown Sugar and Honey

This one is about a new girl group at SM. You could say EXO sister group there may be a love line put in it who really knows. I mean I know but then again I might not know. Heads up I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes after rereading it over and over I can’t deal with it.

Oh the reason I came up with this title is because the main OC is black and DO KyungSoo looks damn sexy and handsome when his skin is dark and tan and NOT WHITE WASHED!!!!! STOP THE WHITE WASHING!!!!!!!!

If there is a love line then it will be my first Kyungsoo series. Hope you like it but if you don’t guess what I don’t give two shits leave my blog then. Anyways enjoy bye.

Warnings: Fluffy, Angst, Language, Bullying, Stupid, May not make senses, Brain frat, May not have smut, Trigger, Suicide talk, Racism, Blood, etc.

Pairing: OC x DO Kyungsoo

Chapter 40

December 4, 2019

Renesmee walks around the setting smiles. “Rai this perfect thank you so much.” She’s says turning in a circle.

Rai nods handing off some equipment to the staff. “Can you breathe in that outfit?” He asks looking at Renesmee.

“Yeah I’m fine, as long as no one knows it’s me.” Renesmee replies tilting her head pushing her hair back.

“I’m shocked that you can hide your face still.” Rai says as he looks around making sure everything is ready.  “So who did you get for the guy?”

“Déshì said he got his cousin to do it.” Renesmee says pulling off her mask smiling. “Yeah so I’m good plus the staff doesn’t even care nor do they know.”

“Hello Nessie right?”

Renesmee turns around looking up. “Hi you must be Déshì cousin?” She says bowing to him and he bows back.

“Yes and I’ve been informed about everything.” The male says smiling at her. “My name is Lei.”

Rai looks back the staff then Renesmee. “It looks like everything is ready, all windows are blacked out.” He says nodding walking around. “And staff is gone just us.”

He adds as the staff leaves the building. Lei smiles tilting his head. “I think what you’re doing is great.” He says and she nods.

“Thank you.” Renesmee replies. “I should go get changed, Rai will help you.” She speaks before walking off.

Once everything was set they get started filming for the day. “Okay you two let’s get started.” Rai says and they both nod getting ready.

“Music!”

“And action!”

As the day starts Renesmee and Lei spend majority of the morning filming the video. Lei sits there as they take a small break. Renesmee yawns laying on the floor.

“Nice contacts by the way.” Lei says looking over at her. Renesmee rolls over looking at him.

“Thank you.” She says smiling and he tilts his head humming.

“He was right.” Lei says and Renesmee sits up looking at him.

“What?”

Renesmee asks and Lei just smiles shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it just something Déshì told me.” Lei says and she just nods.

“Okay we need to change outfits and contacts.” Rai says walking back over and Renesmee jumps up. “The first four takes were great.”

“That’s good so I can take off the straitjacket?” She asks and Rai nods helping her take off the jacket. “I wonder could I get this is black?”

“I swear you are so weird.” Rai says putting the jacket to the side.

“No I’m the devil.” She replies smiling as she jumps around. “Okay let’s get this day over with.”

“Let’s start from the beginning in this outfit then change again.” Rai says as Renesmee walks back over getting into place. “Lei you can relax for a while before we bring you back in.”

Renesmee sits in the floor on her knees. Rai gets the camera set. He nods getting the music ready. “Okay and action!”

December 10, 2019

Rosalie walks next to Renesmee as they look around. “Friday is the grand opening are you ready?” She asks looking back at her phone.

Renesmee hums as she checks out the café. “Yeah everything looks amazing, I’m so happy they got everything done in time.” She smiles seeing all the little decorations.

“Thank you again for all your help.”

“Anything for my precious little flower.” Rosalie says looking up from her phone. “So let’s go we can go eat now.”

Renesmee nods pulling her hood back up putting her shades on. “I love the cold.” Renesmee says running outside pulling her mask up.

Rosalie shakes her head watching her as she pulls her keys out. She unlocks the car walking over as Renesmee dances around. Renesmee smiles seeing all the snow.

“Get in the car.”

Renesmee giggles running over getting into the car. They head into town looking for something for eat. “What do you want for Christmas?” Renesmee asks pulling out her phone.

“What?”

“What do you want for Christmas I’ll get you anything?” She asks again looking up some clothes.

“You don’t have to get me anything sweetie.” Rosalie says shaking her head. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Staying home watching movies.” She replies going through her pictures. “But until then I’m very busy.”

Once they finish eating they head to SM Entertainmnet. “So again no one knows I’m the hidden angel.” Renesmee says pulling her phone out her pocket. “Oh thanks for lunch.”

“No problem and I know that already.” Rosalie replies looking over at her. “So how far are you on the letters?”

Renesmee sighs looking out the window. “Must we talk about this?” She says pushing her hair back.

“Yes.”

“I’ve done some of the letters if that’s what you want to know.” Renesmee speaks as she leans back in her seat closing her eyes.

“And the book?”

“Ugh look I’m doing it okay, I promise I’m working on it.” Renesmee answers causing Rosalie to just laugh watching her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why is it every time I ask you anything about your relationship you shut down?” Rosalie asks as she stops at the light.

“I don’t know okay, I’m being honest with you.” Renesmee starts off looking at her lap as she sits there. “I love him I swear, when I’m with I’m happy and my brain isn’t running wild.”

“I can relax, plus I can actually sleep without waking up screaming.” She goes on running her fingers through her hair. “But that’s the problem I feel like everything is going too well; nothing ever works for me.”

“I’m just siting here waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Why do you think something bad always happens to you?” Rosalie asks pressing the gas once the light turns green.

“Because that is my life, kiddnapped twice plus I lost my memory; nothing good happens to me or for me.”

“Why do you think I did all this as hidden figure.”

“I guess I understand, but I promise things will get better.” Rosalie says ruffling Renesmee hair.

Renesmee whines closing her eyes and Rosalie just smiles. Rosalie pulls up to the company and parks the car turning it off. They both get out and look around before heading inside.

“Come on let’s go.” Renesmee says running up to the doors.

“What’s the rush?” Rosalie asks following behind her.

Renesmee stops in her track hearing her mom. She stands there thinking for a minute. “I don’t know.” Renesmee says looking at Rosalie.

“Then stop running.” Rosalie says as she starts walking again.

Renesmee hums following her as she looks at her phone. “Oh here they are.” Renesmee speaks as they turn the corner seeing the other girls.

They both head into the practice room looking around. “Okay where have you been?” Li Jie asks seeing them walk in.

“With her.” Renesmee says pointing to her mom.

Li Jie nods seeing her and Rosalie just smiles. “Ah Rosalie how are you today?” Jie looks away thinking and Renesmee hums watching him.

“Relax Jie I’m not mad anymore, besides I’m here to drop her off.” Rosalie pulling her phone out. “So what are they doing today?”

Jie hums looking back at her tilting his head. “Practice then going over tomorrow schedule.” He answers as he checks his phone.

“Yeah we have a signing thing tomorrow and a photoshoot.” Xiaoling says as she sits on the floor stretching.

“Unnie and I have a MV to film next week with Ten and Taeyong.” Moka says nodding and Renesmee hums.

“Oh that’s right heh I completely forgot about that.” Renesmee says putting her bag down. “I’m glad I’m off Friday.”

“How?” Chaoxing asks looking back at her.

“Remember twice a week I see the doctor.” Renesmee replies sliding next to Roxay as she sits in the floor. “I went Monday now I go Friday.”

“What did they say?” Roach asks looking at Renesmee.

“Well Monday for some reason my iron was low so they gave me some iron in fusions and a shot for my back.”

“That sounds painful.” Sora says drinking from her tumblr.

“Not really the shot did help with my back pain.”

“Okay I’ll pick you Friday morning, I have some paperwork to do before going back to work.” Rosalie says looking at her file and Renesmee looks back at her.

“Okay let me know when you’re done, bye.” Renesmee says as her mother walks out the room.

December 13, 2019

Renesmee stands in her office on the 4th floor looking out the window. “Are you sure you want to go out there alone?” Déshì asks seeing the crowd of people and press.

“Yeah my face and body is hidden so I’m good.” Renesmee says as she fixes her mask. “Besides if one of you go out there everyone will know I’m the Hidden Angel, I mean look at all the press.”

“She’s right everyone knows the Hidden Angel is an SM idol and Nessie has been seen with all of us in pubic.” Rosalie says folding her arms looking out the window as well. “Just be careful.”

Renesmee nods before walking out heading to the lobby going outside. As she makes her way to the front doors security stands there waiting for her.

“Are you ready ma’am?” One guard asks as she makes her way over.

“Yes let’s go.” Renesmee nods and they open the door. The guards walk Renesmee outside standing by her as the camera start snapping away.

One of the assistance runs out making his way over to Renesmee. “Hello everyone.” He start speaking holding a mic. “We really weren’t expecting a grand opening like this.”

Renesmee looks around watching everyone. “Here’s the star of the hour to say a few words; and officially open Safe Heaven my boss the Hidden Angel!”

Renesmee takes the mic bowing her head. She looks back at the crowd thinking. “Hi hehe, thank you for everyone who came to the opening of Safe Heaven a completely free and safe place for anyone to get help.” She starts speaking disguising her voice.

“There are too many deaths in this world most of them caused from depression; so I bought this place giving everyone who wants to or need to get help for free.”

“I know it may seem unreal but it’s true, some people can’t afford to seek help or don’t trust some to ask for help.” Renesmee says nodding her head looking through her mask. “It doesn’t matter if you’re famous or just a school kid anyone can come here.”

“The only thing you pay for is the café or cafeteria food; but everything else is free here.”

“I’m paying these people and the bills of this building out my pocket; everything is in confidence here unless you give word that it’s okay to give your information out.”

The guards look around checking out everything as she talks. Renesmee hums looking at all the cameras. “So please no matter who you are please use this service seek help; all it takes is one step to start a journey in staying alive or helping someone find help.”

“I know a lot of you came to see if I would reveal myself not yet I’m sorry; but to all my fellow idols out there please.”

“I know it hard and we can’t always ignore the comments and stuff so please if you really wanna stay with your friends come here and talk or relax get rid of the stress.”

Renesmee looks back at her assistant leaning over whispering in his ear. “Now I know this building is big so my lovely assistant Sungmin will explain the many kind of rooms here for people seeking help.”

Renesmee smiles even though no one can see. “Again thank you all for coming out and remember you always have an angel to talk to, bye.” She waves before bowing walking back inside.

Two guards follow behind her as the other two stay with Sungmin. He starts talking after Renesmee gives him the mic back. She makes her way up to her office.

Renesmee waves the guards off as she enters the elevator. They bow walking off making sure everything is good. Once she makes it to her office she hums hearing her phone go off.

“I say you handled that very well.” Rai says smiling at her. “I’ll have my people upload the video first so no one can twist your words.” He adds and Renesmee nods walking over to her desk.

“Now I hired Sungmin for a reason.” Rosalie speaks up looking up from her phone. “You still stay with the group, you can’t always be here.”

“Plus I won’t let you push yourself that far.”

“Yes ma’am I understand.” Renesmee replies grabbing her phone. “I’m going to go I have other I need to do, plus I promised the girls I would cook.”

“Have fun with that, oh and your doctor said your blood work came back.” Her mother speaks up again.

“And?”

Renesmee hums as she starts changing outfits. “You could have waited till we left.” Déshì says looking away and Rai smirks turning away.

“Your iron level is back up so you are good.” Rosalie says looking over at Renesmee.

“Yay.” Renesmee says as she finishes putting her pants on. She grabs her hat and mask putting them on before grabbing her phone and bag. “Bye thank you guys.”

Renesmee quickly runs towards the back staircase making her exit. As Renesmee makes her way to her car her phone starts ringing again. “Hello how my I help you?” She says getting into her car tossing her bag to the side.

“Why didn’t you pick up the first time?” Jongin whines and she just shakes her head as she starts her car. “Answer me.”

“I was busy you big baby.” Renesmee says pulling out onto the street. “What was with the weird text?” She asks turning the corner opting to head to the company.

“One I’m not a baby and two that was a hint.” Jongin responds and Renesmee laughing picturing the pout on his face.

“You’re pouting aren’t you?” She questions biting her tongue.

Jongin hums looking at his phone. “What no I’m not why would I be pouting?” He speaks his voice shaking.

“Cause you’re a baby.” She says giggling as she drives.

Jongin sighs and she just laughs. “Stop being mean to me.” Jongin whines causing Renesmee to laugh again.

“Okay alright tell me already.” Renesmee says stopping at a light. “What hint, hint about what?”

“That I wanna start working on my solo and want your help.” Jongin says and Renesmee smirks shaking her head.

“Okay where are you now?” She asks looking out the window as she pulls up to a small café.

“Right now I’m heading to the company to practice.” He replies and she nods turning the car. “Where are you?” He asks and Renesmee smiles getting out the car.

“I stopped at a near by café to get me some sweets before heading to the company.” Renesmee says as she opens the door walking inside.

“Oh get me something.”

“Like what?”

“Small cake you pick and an ice coffee, I could use some energy right now.”

“Ew gross but okay see you when I get there.”

[leatherlaceandblades]

U: Underdog ~All of them

Round 2 go!

U: Underdog1. have they been bullied?

Aimee: Yes. Quite a bit actually. She was the child that spoke to imaginary friends and spirits that nobody else could see because of her eye. She didn’t understand when she was super little why everyone said she was lying, and it wasn’t until she was far older than she stopped mentioning it at all. Even as a teen it was difficult when you tried to warn or tell people something else was doing things and they called you a crazy liar.

Moka: Yes. Before she started working under Vivian ( or being chosen ), she was a very weak and timid Subject. Because there were already so many beefed up and raucous Combats around, she was pretty much clumped in with the omegas as someone who was going to die out and was there to be practiced on or picked on when they were bored.

Willow: Nope. Her mom and dad would’ve been there in a heartbeat to stop it. 

Cin: Nope. She would’ve been the kid that punched the other kid right in the face.

Cress: Mildly. She used to spend the majority of her time away from her tribe, therefore people didn’t really see her enough to care to bully her. She was an oddity, however, whenever she did come around, and of course people had to whisper about the reclusive child.  

2. have they bullied anyone?

Aimee: No. She wouldn’t wish that on anyone after what she went through.

Cress: No.

Cin: Probably. Though it may have been more of a defense mechanism to keep people at arms length and away from her, it still does not excuse the behavior.

Moka: Though she is outwardly rambunctious, there is not much of a chance she would really bully someone. Seeing as she came from being an underdog, she tends to be the one to step in the way of someone being picked on.

Willow: No.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

Aimee: Once or twice. Most of the time it was just other children talking smack. The times that it did happen would have been when she had something to say back.

Moka: Yes. Pretty much every single time, as that was the point to show dominance between the subjects.

Cress: No

Cin: Yes. Though, like I said, she would have been the one to usually throw the first blow and, if she wasn’t, she would have been the one to end it.

Willow: No. It would have been ended by her parents.

4. have they ever been doubted?

Aimee: Yes. Nobody really ever believed her when she talked about the spirits that she saw or that spoke to her, or that acted out from time to time when their territory was invaded.

Ember: Yes. She was considered useless and was believed to be one that would never survive the program.

Willow: From time to time, though her parents always did their best to listen to her. Doesn’t mean they had to always agree. She had very few friends, but they did listen.

Cress: Since her access to people was limited, not many knew about the ability she had. The ones that did, yes, thought she was daydreaming and making things up when she was out all alone.

Cin: Nobody really got close enough to her to doubt her. If there was doubt, it was because she was so anti-social and rough - an uncultured girl that would never be married because no husband would put up with her, or just not make it in her career because she was a girl.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Aimee: Yes. Because she could see spirits, she was very good at navigating places. Plus her natural ability to cast spells without any real formal training to speak of.

Moka: Yes. After she had completed her training, she was very good at hanging butts out to dry. She also showed a restrained that was admirable for being able to throw a punch and then walk away with no real hard feelings.

Cress: She’s…really good at herding sheep? They listened to her when they would wander away from other herders…that’s…got to count for something, right?

Cin: Good at hunting down details. Which is why she has her job. The surprise from others didn’t last very long though - it just became an expectation of her job.

Willow: Yes. At being stubborn.

Thanks for the questions @kaelenar!

[bmblb-fanatic]

So since I have seen a lot of people freaking out over finding out the voice actor for Jinn is the same as Luffy from One Piece I was reminded that not everyone is a weird voice actor nerd like me so I thought I would draw your attention to some of the bigger named voice actors RoosterTeeth has managed to land for our beloved RWBY.

Jen Taylor

Now if you've been paying attention to the credits you may have noticed that she is the voice of Salem. Jen lends her voice for video games and some of you gamers out there may have recognized her voice from a certain AI

Cortana from the Halo series. And yes she also provides the voice for the Windows Cortana that lives in your computer or Windows phones. Do you know how freaky it is for me to set a reminder on my computer just to have Salem tell me not to forget to call my mom today?

Vic Mignogna

It's a mouthful I know. He voices our dear Uncle Qrow. Vic is a popular name in voice acting. Even some of my friends who are horrible at knowing who voices who are aware of who this guy is but for those of you who aren't aware he most recognizably voices this pipsqueak.

Edward Elric from the FMA and FMA:B series. Quite the difference in voice delivery isn't it? You would also recognize him as Ikkaku Madarame in Bleach, Zero from Vampire Knight, and Rin Matsuka in Free! Fun fact? Dudes also a singer!

J. Michael Tatum

This man delivers us the charming voice of Weiss's butler and, honestly, father figure, Klien. He is the only voice actor I have met in person and seriously guys he is a sweetheart! It was at a con last year and my best friend was fangirling so hard over this man I though she was going to faint when he passed by and waved at us when we crossed paths in the hotel restaraunt. But this guy must have a thing for butlers because you may recognize him as certain demon butler

So he voices Sebation Michaelis in Black Butler! You may have also heard his voice as Kraft Lawence in Spice and Wolf, Scar in FMA:B, or Erwin Smith from Attack on Titan.

Cheramie Leigh

So this beautiful flower gives us the voice of Ilia Amitola. She is one of my favorite voice actors (along with the next two I will be mentioning) and has also dabbled in video games. But aside from our precious reptilian child you would also recognize this short stack (serious guys she's five feet even) as a certain badass swordswoman.

Asuna Yuki, the second best player in SAO and probably the only thing that terrifies the actual best player in the game who also happens to be her boyfriend and in game husband. When she isn't voicing Asuna you may have caught her voice in Lucy Heartfillia from Fairy Tail, Patty Thompson from Soul Eater, Sailor Venus in Sailor Moon Crystal, and, most gut wrenchingly, Elicia Hughs, Maes Hughs daughter, from the FMA series where she ripped all out hearts out by asking why they were burying her father when he had to to to work the next day. On the video game front you may have heard her as Gage the Mechomancer from Borderlands 2, Makoto Nijima from Persona 5, A2 in Neir: Automata, and female V in the upcoming Cyberpunk 2077. You may have also seen her in a live action movie with Shane Dawson titled Not Cool.

Monica Rial

Though we only see her for like five minutes Monica voices a character everyone was very suddenly attracted to. High Leader Sienna Khan. Typically known for voicing characters with a high pitched voice you may know her as a wizard with the heart of an angel and the soul of a devil.

Also known as Mirajane Strauss. This woman has quite the repertoire under her belt, lending her voice to hundreds of characters but some you may recognize are May Chang in FMA:B, Bulma on DBZ (Kai and on), Tsubaki in Soul Eater, Yukari in Rosario + Vampire, Stocking in Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, Mei Rin in Black Butler, or Chitaru in Riddle Story of Devil. Fun fact about this woman? She loves to troll people. Often finding people cosplaying as characters she's voiced and asking for a picture with them only to do the voice and scurry away.

Colleen Clinkenbeard

She is the most recent addition to RWBY and the whole reason for this novel sized post! The voice of the mysterious naked blue genie, Jinn. Known for lending her voice to the incredibly hot badasses some people consider Colleen to be the sexiest voice in English dubbed anime. You may know her as a special Lieutenant with damn good aim.

Ah yes...Roy Mustangs babysitter and residential badass of the FMA series, Riza Hawkeye. Among the other badasses she voices is the rubber pirate Monkey D. Luffy (which came as a shock to many people including my brother), Erza Scarlet in Fairy Tail, Yuko Ichihara in xxxHolic, Rin Asogi in Rin: Daughters of Mnemosyne, Vampire Moka from Rosario + Vampire, and Titania in Ancient Magus Bride.

And that's all I got for you folks! Sorry for the book here just wanted those who maybe recognized the voices but couldn't place them to know they weren't crazy!

[the-good-projxct]

Feb 25th, 2024

10:22pm. Listening to Say Yes by the one and only Michelle Williams ft Bey and Kelly. 

Sitting up in my room in Karen. I got back yesterday mid morning. I love doing rounds with Aunty Bome. Like she is very similar to Mom in the ways that she shops, expresses and spoils us. She also gave me lots of solid advice and wisdom. I really enjoyed and appreciated my time with her. I came home and chilled with SweSwe, Karimi and Moka wa Mwiti. Mbete came home so I spent some time with her as well. She is cool, young and creating her own world. I liked that she came to see grandma on a Saturday night for the night. That is wholesome. Couldn’t have been me at that age but I appreciate what she did. Today is a family day around here so I went downstairs around noon. I walked out of my room and SweSwe was there so we had a little kiki upstairs. Honestly, me and this old lady go together real bad. Maybe it's a Virgo ting. Maybe it's that I am  her grandbaby. Maybe it's the Meru bonding. Maybe it's her love for my dad. Maybe it's her love for my mom. But my LAWD, we go together realll bad. She is becoming one of my favorite people day by day. The fact that she has chilled out on her sterness also helps A LOT. Party gyal me and her did not get along. But we are Gucci now. Anyway, by the time I went down, the house had cousins, uncles, aunties, elders and staff. It is pretty nice but it is also a lot of socializing. And yo, I can do it for a limited period of time before my brain gets exhausted then I am irritable or uncomfortably quiet. Our family dynamics also feel like game of thrones. Like, the mind games, competition, wahala is a lot and I ain't in it, I ain't with it but I know I am a pawn. So being mindful is so key and having to be extra mindful for a long time because no one is trustworthy is insane and exhausting. So after like 2 hours, I was tired. I got my only friend in the house and we went to the mall. We got latte’s at ArtCaffe. Walked around, checked out clothes and perfumes then went to buy chicken masala for SweSwe. By the time I got home it was supper time and folx were leaving. I went upstairs and Shaka called me. We chatted for a little bit. I miss that dude. I am looking forward to seeing him in a few weeks. Mom and LoustaLousta are coming in a week. If our family is GOT, my mom is like the Queen Mother in Wakanda. No one can mess with me as long as she is near. It’s like the ultimate play. So I don’t talk back, I don’t start nothing, I don’t respond/react to nothing. And if anything bothers me enough, I tell mom and whoever bothered me gets an emotional beheading from KaMami and SweSwe. Soooo yeah, I always win so I don’t even play. Also, all this is happening on my dads side of the family and he is so removed from it. I truly Love that for him. But I also Love that my mom is the don in my fathers mothers house. I found a cute little vendor at the hub that sells African style fits. I am gonna buy a few because I really don’t like my closet right now. I have nothing dressy, just sporty/casual. Which is fine because that's the vibe I was in while writing the Gøod manifesto. Now I feel cute again, sexy, African and I wanna flex that. My tan is back. My skin is GLOWING. I am an African sun baby again. Munene is supposed to be here in a few days and I am nervous. Like nervous, nervous but happy. I missed him and I can’t wait to see him, be near him. We are Gøod. Life is Gøod. I am Gøod. Ase. Ase. Ase

[todayscoffee]

10th August, 2020 French pressed at home (AM) and moka pot espresso with milk (PM)

Jessie told me today is the 10th anniversary of her move to Canada. Maybe it is a good omen to restart this blog that we tried to keep at least six years ago (what the hell lol). I think it started because I was trying to learn about coffee, but then Jessie became so much better at keeping record. In the end, it was also really about having existential crises at the intern desk and morning swimming practice and the spring of senior year of college, the three months now mostly remembered for reading I Love Dick and listening to Bright Eyes and New Order and The National on the lawn in various mental states. On Wednesdays Colette and I and sometimes my brother ordered half-price sushi from the pan-Asian Chinese place.

And then life got in the way and I stopped writing for maybe five years. Not just professionally but also personally. I kept almost no written record of the New York years except for a chaotic collection of tweets and a short-lived newsletter with Clare.

Anyway, in an attempt to re-structure my life after six months of being unmoored in Hong Kong, I had the idea of getting into tarot—it’s basically just googling “daily tarot draw” for a card generator and looking up the card interpretation on Biddy. I guess it would be like what my mom does as a Christian except she reads a verse from the Bible every morning. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to accept the ready-made order of religion and why I prefer the randomness in some other man-made system of meaning-making. 

I have to say the readings have been fairly “accurate” so far, in the sense that I could immediate see how it could apply to my life and offer a framework on improving it. For example, today’s card is “four of swords,” which points to “rest before taking on the next challenge; to stay silent and inactive; to recharge mentally and reassess your priorities in seclusion.” I was just thinking the other day that I have come to accept my time in Beijing as the fuck-off years, before I will inevitably go back to the States for the next phase of my serious life. On a micro-level, this would be a good week to go off the grid too after the past two weeks of pretty intensive socializing. I know I always say this and then the next thing I know I ended up going out three week days in a row but I do really mean it every time!

Before I came to Beijing for real I told Adalena that I could see myself building a life in Beijing, which was something New York did not inspire me to do. Almost as soon as I moved there, I knew I would leave New York one day, but in a different way that I now know I will leave Beijing. I feel like everything I had in New York was an accident—for which I am eternally grateful; I was extremely lucky. Beijing has been different in that it is a life I have had to consciously build for myself starting from zero. Of course, I had also gotten lucky in the beginning, but not for the lack of some previous effort. The one thing I have learned in all of this moving around is this: the insane (and insanely dangerous) high of walking away from what you’ve built. 

[zylphiacrowley]

Z's Free Range Grass Fed Spoiler Free Final Fantasy XV Headcanons

::EDIT:: These are now horrifically outdated ::EDIT::

I’ve only compiled a few of my headcanons for the Chocobros here. It was already getting too long without adding other characters… Under a cut for length.

Ignis -Ignis is a pretty light sleeper, but can fall back asleep pretty easily if he wants to. -If one of the other guys wakes up before him he’s usually up within the next minute. -He’s trained himself to be able to wake up like this so he’s ready to defend his friends at a moment’s notice. -Is gay. Gladio says the only woman in Ignis’ life is the Regalia. -He’s never pursued a long term relationship though because he’s dedicated his life to protecting and serving the royal family. -He is farsighted. -He secretly races chocobos in Insomnia’s underground Chocobo racing circuit. He wears a helmet with a one way mirrored visor to obscure his identity and goes by the name “Racer X”. He is sponsored by Ebony and rides a black chocobo named Noir. It’s a topic of hot debate among fans whether his chocobo is an actual rare black chocobo or if it’s simply dyed black. Only Ignis knows for sure. -He’s super competitive. -He has, on many occasions, made breakfast for everyone half asleep. They all joke that he could probably cook an entire meal with his eyes closed. -He loves cars. He has subscriptions to at least four different automotive magazines. -While he doesn’t do major repairs, he does know how to perform general upkeep and maintenance like oil changes and replacing brake pads and such. -Owns at least three moka pots. A black one with a brushed metal surface is his primary one, a standard silver one as a backup, and a third larger silver one that he got from Gladio for his 20th birthday. He packed all three of them on the road trip. -Is typically the last to go to bed, and first to wake up in the morning.

Prompto -Prompto has ADHD. His mind is always racing and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. -That being said, photography is the first thing that really captured his attention and held it. -He has an insatiable apatite when it comes to learning new things, especially if it’s things he knows his friends are interested in. -Due to the aforementioned ADHD, he never attains any sort of mastery of anything aside from photography. He is very much the “Jack of all trades, master of none.” type. -He sings A LOT. He even likes to make up little songs about stuff they see along the way. -One time he wrote an entire jingle about Wiz’s Chocobo Post that Wiz now uses to advertise the place. -He has an entire photo album titled “Chocobo selfies” -He talks to his Chocobo as if carrying on a conversation with it. -He’s a huge fanboy of Chocobo racing. His favorite racer is the mysterious Racer X. -Out of the four, he is the best at King’s Knight. He has sunk so many hours into the game and unlocked all the characters and extra content. -He owns a bunch of King’s Knight merchandise but he left it all back in Insomnia, with the exception of his Toby pillowcase. -Has a genuine interest in learning how to cook, and has been known to hover around Ignis at camp while he’s cooking. He even gets to help sometimes. -He loves getting to hang out with his favorite pal, Talcott. They’ve gone on lots of walks around Cape Caem, when Prompto lets Talcott borrow his camera. -He and Talcott have a special photo album they decorated together to put all the photos of the Cape in that is covered in glitter stickers of cartoon cactuars and chocobos. -He also hangs out with Iris a lot as well whenever they’re at the Cape. She’s teaching him and Talcott how to garden. -He’s got really neat penmanship. -Is the last to actually fall asleep. -He’s really scared that one day the guys will decide that he’s just a hindrance and opt to leave him behind. -The optimist of the group, he always tries to find the silver lining in any situation, and if he can’t he tries his best to lighten the mood by any means necessary.

Gladio -Gladio loves opera. He has made his own exclusively opera playlist that he’ll put on and train to. -Once used the pickup line “You have nice lips, it’s a shame no one is kissing them.” on someone. It may or may not have worked. -Has an entire library full of classic and contemporary literature back home in Insomnia. -Likes to paint. -Is like the best gift giver of the four of them. He remembers little things that the other guys have mentioned in past conversations and stores that information away to get them exactly what they want for birthdays and holidays. -Is almost always the one designated to actually wake Noctis up in the morning. -He has been smacked many times on accident trying to do so. -Knows at least 30 different ways to prepare cup noodles. -Has a fondness for science fiction. -Tries to call Iris every night, but sometimes can’t due to it being impossible in some situations. If he goes more than 3 days without calling her however, he’ll have a very panicky voicemail from her. -Always cuts his hair himself. -As well as being proficient with a multiple bladed weapons, he’s also no slouch at hand-to-hand combat. -Jogs every morning. -Knows how to make plain black coffee, and has done so on multiple occasions for all the guys. Ignis is eternally grateful for his help. -Is definitely the kind of guy that will go out on midnight grocery/convenience store runs if they forgot something.

Noctis -Before the road trip he could sleep upwards of 18 hours a day. He didn’t always do it, but he could. -Has a ratty stuffed Carbuncle that his dad gave him when he was 3. It came along for the road trip. -Is exceptionally stubborn. If he complains about the heat and someone tells him to take off his jacket he will purposely leave it on and risk heat stroke before taking it off, even if he originally intended to take it off. -He used to be a volunteer dog walker at two different animal shelters in Insomnia while in middle and high school. -Proudly claims that he has only ever eaten one carrot in his entire life. Ignis knows this is not true, but refuses to tell him otherwise. -He has actually called Luna plenty of times over the phone. They can be on the line together for hours at a time. -He’s a hopeless romantic, he just doesn’t advertise it. He doesn’t have to, everyone already knows. -Is almost always the first to fall asleep, and the last to wake up. The guys usually have to get him conscious enough to roll over and make room in the tent when they eventually go to bed while camping. He never remembers being woken up the next day. -Has fallen asleep in his normal clothes many times. The guys have to at least take off his jacket and shoes. Again, he has no recollection of them doing so. -Used to sneak out of the Citadel in civilian clothes to go to the movies. His favorites are fantasy films. :B -Has a tendency to get lost in his own thoughts if left alone for extended periods of time. -It was during one of these deep thought sessions that he ended up thinking about his mother, and how he didn’t know anything about her, and he felt like a terrible person for not having any emotional connection to her. -He once asked Regis about his mom. Regis got very quiet for a moment too long. Noctis hugged his dad and apologized, vowing to himself that he would never bring it up again. -He once spent an entire day with Nyx when he was a kid. They went to go see an animated movie then went to a petting zoo. He decided that day that Nyx would be the coolest big brother. -He and Prompto have had danceoffs at the arcade dance machines many times. At the time of Insomnia’s fall, he held the title of Dance Master, though neither of them typically held the title for long before the other beat them again. -He always wanted to open a public fishing park in Insomnia. He’s sad that he won’t get to anymore.

[michaelfallcon]

Guido Bernardinelli Of La Marzocco: The Sprudge Executive Interview

The Sprudge Executive Interview is a new feature series on Sprudge, featuring face-to-face longform interviews with founders, CEOs, and executives across the specialty coffee industry. These are candid looks at the inside story of coffee leaders around the world. In 2020 the program will expand to include a monthly podcast presentation, part of an expanded podcast platform on Sprudge Media Network. 

Today’s featured guest on the Sprudge Executive Interview—our first—is Guido Bernardinelli, the CEO of La Marzocco International. The La Marzocco brand was founded in Florence, Italy by the Bambi brothers, Giuseppe and Bruno, in 1927. Over the last several decades it has become synonymous with the growth of specialty coffee culture worldwide, most notably under the tenure of departing CEO Kent Bakke. Bernardinelli joined the company in 2002 in a sales capacity, helping guide the brand through a phase of international growth from its marketing and logistics hub in Milan. He rose to the rank of Managing Director in 2009, and in 2018 was appointed CEO by the company’s international board of directors.

We interviewed Bernardinelli on the eve of launching Accademia del Caffè Espresso, a global education and innovation center dedicated to specialty coffee housed in the company’s midcentury factory headquarters high above Florence. Our conversation took place immediately following the 2019 HOST exhibition in Milan, at which La Marzocco debuted a range of products and prototypes including the brand’s first foray into grinder design, an unusual new automatic milk frother, and updated versions of the brand’s iconic Strada and GB5 espresso machines.

As with all interviews in the Sprudge Executive Interview series, Mr. Bernardinelli is interviewed by Sprudge co-founder Jordan Michelman, with photos by Sprudge co-founder Zachary Carlsen. This interview and accompanying photoshoot was conducted at Accademia del Caffè Espresso in Florence, Italy, and has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Hello Guido Bernardinelli, and thank you very much for sitting with us today for the Sprudge Executive Interview. You’ve just finished HOST 2019 in Milan, and tomorrow you will help launch the new Accademia project. But here now, today—what is your frame of mind? 

It’s a crazy week—one of the most memorable weeks of our lives, all at once. We had wonderful meetings in Milan with our partners and investors—and maybe our most successful show in our history. We divided our booth into two sides for innovation and lifestyle, to really understand, what are we there for? Are we there to provide community and a neutral space for roasters to come along? Or are we there because we built innovations for the improvement of the coffee? And to my surprise, both sides of the booth were packed—maybe even a little bit more on the innovation side, because we had so many new pieces of gear to communicate. It was a very formative and exciting experience to be there for a couple of days at the show. HOST is big, you know… sometimes it can seem too big, in fact. It feels like it over-represents the size of the specialty coffee industry. That said, it’s a gathering that includes everyone. We had an opportunity to connect with all sides of the industry—local, European, and old school as well as specialty.

What were you most excited about at HOST 2019?

I was fascinated to watch our team, our international team, working together so flawlessly and in sync. We work hard to put our people in the center at this company, and at this show, you know, it was the people—they made the product, they made the show, they made decisions, and they made an incredible experience for our company. These are people who are just completely devoted to our company—giving demonstrations on our milk frother, our app, the new grinder—just non-stop, with a hundred people in the space at a time, under the hot lights with no air conditioning.

We felt that the people who developed the product would be the best to explain it, even though we know this is a risk! Our customers are typically very talented, and they understand the product; they have a bias for technology. I think it’s not coherent to develop a product and then have somebody who hasn’t had a lab review, doesn’t have an understanding, go out at HOST and try to explain it. For me, our way at La Marzocco is better for the customer, it’s better for the people, and it creates a better connection.

Guido, what is your first memory of espresso?

Nobody has ever asked me that question! I have goosebumps.

Now, my mom—she passed away when I was 22. She was an English professor, and she was a coffee freak, drinking coffee all day long. She would go for coffee all the time and would take me along to all the little places. The coffee was better in our country many years ago than it is today, for the most part. In our family they would say, “Oh, there’s Guido and mom again, drinking coffee!” Usually, at home it was with a Moka Pot, although I did see her drinking Nescafe once—that’s because she lived in England for so long. She got a degree in Cambridge, after the University of Milan, and when she came back she loved Nescafe, which quickly turned into espresso. I remember my grandfather saying, “Guido will end up working in coffee one day because he’s always in the coffee bar!” Looking back he was very right.

My grandfather lived in a little town on the lake, where there was a factory famous for making bar counters, and so he would make coffee bars. My town had one of the biggest flea markets in Europe—it takes over the whole town. It’s against every possible fire law, every safety law, and it lasts all day, not just the morning. That town is there on the border with Switzerland, so many of the Swiss and Germans would come into the city each week—we were invaded by German-speaking tourists! And so there’s way more cafes per capita where I grew up than a normal town might have, and every Wednesday growing up, all of us, we worked on Wednesday when the fair was held. Sandwiches, coffees, beers, quick meals—in my school we had to go on Saturday because Wednesday was a day off to work at the fair. This is how we grew up!

I think my background is not so much about coffee as a raw material. This has become much more important to me thanks to La Marzocco, and especially projects like Songwa and Accademia, but growing up here in Italy, in the service hospitality industry, this is about the social component of cafe life, which is very important. Cafe life and the expectation of a good coffee. And now we have brought this into our culture at La Marzocco, to try and create a cafe culture in the company. When you look at our booth, our factory, our parties, our gatherings, our leadership activities, it’s in the same spirit. It is an extension of cafe life.

You joined La Marzocco in 2002. How has the company changed since then? How is it the same?

There’s an answer in your question that’s implied. The company is there. The culture is there. We’re here in the hills, and you’re talking about bike culture, cafe life, the origins of the espresso product, and what it means in the community. Cafe culture in Italy was already there, it was just this best-kept secret in the world. It was a lifestyle.

What has changed is that we’ve taken these values and we’ve told the world about them. It’s about telling the story. We are passionate about telling our story, and as the culture spread and the story spread, specialty coffee has grown. We have expanded within. When we—Lorenzo Carboni and I—got involved in La Marzocco in 2002, we were so excited. As a friendly competitor, we looked at these cool machines from Florence and Seattle, and we said, “It’s so cool but nobody knows about it yet”! We were so impressed by the technology. And when we finally got the job—I’m not going to go into too much detail about how we got it—but Lorenzo and I are sitting there saying, “Hey, what’s the benchmark? What’s a business plan?” We had one computer in those days and we were working from out of our couch. I had a newborn kid and I was working overnight every night.

But I knew we needed to tell the story. We became adamant that the machine was doing justice to the coffee, and we saw a better future in coffee, that we should inspire more people to follow the trend and inspire people to follow the trend. I remember our first website back then: it was a page of the catalog, featuring an FB70 espresso machine with a fruit basket next to it, filled with all these different kinds of tropical fruits. We had to do everything back then! We couldn’t afford a webmaster; we had to do it ourselves. Everything, slowly… slowly… we did it ourselves.

You joined La Marzocco first as a salesman. What’s the furthest you ever went to sell an espresso machine?

Siberia. Tierra Del Fuego.

Tierra Del Fuego??? 

Yes! There was a guy in southern Argentina who kept sending us a Christmas card. So one year we said, “We’re in Argentina, let’s go.” There was no cell phone. I traveled there and sent a postcard back to Italy for myself, but I also traveled with my camera then. I was always frustrated wanting to communicate enough, wanting to explain enough.

One year during the summer holidays I decided, if I go now, I’ll have an opportunity to discover a new market. So I drove from Kazakhstan to Siberia in a car with three Russians smoking continuously. We had a car problem. One of them was a butcher, so we had somebody stop in a former mental institution that they turned into a hotel. They boiled a sheep all night for us to eat for breakfast. I tried it, a little piece, but I couldn’t really eat it… these are the stories I have. I remember from there going to a little town where there’s a five-star patisserie, the most beautiful pastries, with a La Marzocco espresso machine and bullet holes in the wall. I’ll never forget it.

When I took this job I was so young! That was 17 years ago!

I can relate! 

But I think it matters you know, to remind you that we’re a small company, in the scheme of things.

Why does that matter so much to you?

Because a small company means freedom. It means you get the ear of the owners, and you can express yourself internationally. We’re in America but we’re also in Italy, and it means great things. It means that everyone has been passionate about what we’re doing and we didn’t have any resistance to go out and change the world.  We were supported in our dream. And that was the most incredible luck that anyone can have. Maybe there were some questions about how us Italians were doing things, how some of us were verbalizing things across the ocean… and also on this side, the Italians have sometimes had a hard time receiving certain patterns of feedback from doing business that we’re not familiar within our culture. I would say it’s never reached any sort of great frustration cost—and it’s so much more valuable to think about what our global experience has done for us in terms of creating a cross-cultural market, and the global diversity of our team spirit.

Driving in a car with the Russians, never taking a holiday, taking chances to sell espresso machines in a community with no espresso machines—in the moment we didn’t realize it. All we knew was, we have to send espresso machines to the moon!

I feel like there are more stories. 

There are so many good stories. I remember, we went to Denver—I had never been to Denver before, and remember, this was before cellphones. So we grab the business pages from the hotel phonebook, and we go to the hotel lobby phonebank with the rotary phones, and we start calling up every coffee company in the phonebook. “Do you want to buy an espresso machine? Today is your lucky day!”

You know, but as we grew the company, everything we did went back into the company. I didn’t go buy a yacht. Accademia was a five million dollar investment. This is our hobby as well as our work. All we want is a relatively good salary to raise our kids, and from there, we want to change the world of coffee. In those early years, I would work tirelessly, non-stop. I had years—2004, 2005—where I was in Italy just 40 days a year, at most. It is why we are what we are today.

My big question for you now is, how do you balance all this tradition with innovation? You are in some ways a very old and also a very new company, which is what Accademia expresses so artfully and emotionally. But how do you balance that now as a leader, as CEO? 

Many people confuse tradition with old and dusty, nostalgic. I consider tradition as an inspiration. I think it’s meaningful to bring forth in the modern world the evolution of these products and to express what kind of citizens we are through them. Because for me, if we have tradition that means we can communicate our very best, and be an example for other companies and other entrepreneurs to believe in what we believe. There are many great machines out there,  but they have a harder time without the tradition, these relatively new companies, start-ups, even if they’ve been acquired. You know, if all along it had been a matter of money, we would have closed long ago!

How do you mean?

We built this and we didn’t have any money! There were other companies with branch offices—1000 offices!—everyone flying business class, companies with managers and career paths—what did we have? We had a vision for a better cup of coffee, for sure. We had a vision for the barista as a utilizer of the machine, designed with the user in mind. You know, there are companies that build cars and the engineer never drives them, and it’s the same with espresso. But we have a tradition. For us, the tradition, our history and the experience, the culture we’ve built, the work, it is intangible.

When another journalist says, “Please give me the story, what is the backbone?” I have to say, well—it is tradition. There is a tradition of evolution. If you look at La Marzocco, in its own little way it has evolved into the product it is today that is very unique. Two boilers instead of one—simple, but unique. We have a tradition for vision. Think about this: the Bambi Brothers never in a million years thought they would sell an espresso machine beyond the city limits of Florence. I mean, in the early days, on the sticker for the service department they put on every machine, there was no area code.  Those stickers represented an opportunity to me—when I first got here from Cimbali, who were doing things around the world, I felt like it was such an eye-opener. Everything was still done in tiny volumes. They would make a singular machine, a one of one, for a single cafe. There were no brochures, no reproduction series. Everything was made on a cart. Some machine models, they only built five.

This way of doing business meant that every time a cafe wanted a new machine, you needed to invent one. You design, you shape, you make it according to the height of the barista… and for us to take that to a global audience, it was an evolution of the tradition, to be sure. Or perhaps a tradition of evolution, reflected in so many areas of our business. Very little of this time was commercialized. We didn’t think we were cool. We didn’t think we were special, not just yet, they just… they built. They made the first horizontal boiler much in your face because it was not commercialized. We didn’t think they were cool, we didn’t think they were special, they just… they built.

And so it’s old and new. It’s evolution, or in the same breath it’s new and it’s innovation. There’s a fine line. And I think of our job now, my job, to be a curator of the traditions and history of La Marzocco, and to maintain it, to maintain this history of evolution, and to apply it to every angle of this business.

In the early days of your time with La Marzocco, you helped sponsor and launch the World Barista Championship. Would La Marzocco ever step back up to sponsor the WBC again?

Never say never. You never know in life. If it becomes relevant for us and the industry again, it would become a consideration. It was relevant then for us, as one of many things we did to give justice to our sector many years ago, and also to promote our products to the smaller community of baristas who could receive a specific product like ours. I think that, you know, in the early days the biggest commitment was logistics, to convince our customers to go compete and to get the machines set up. I remember driving to competitions in pizzerias in Berlin or Amsterdam, and we wanted to be the adventurers of the industry. We believed in them, we believed in the Specialty Coffee Association, and we believed in the ability to roll up our sleeves and produce a better experience for our own people. I don’t know if it ever worked in terms of sales—that’s very questionable. But it felt right then. And when it became more commercial, more about the money and the qualifying tests became more commercial, it felt like everybody passed the test. Whoever spent the money passed the test. And they never had that standard before, when we were the only ones. Eventually, we felt like it was no longer in line with the essence of our true spirit as a company and we didn’t want to get it tangled with the business, and so we stepped away.

All that to say, I am very glad there is a WBC. And I am glad there are companies—like Sprudge, and like many others—that believe in it and invest in it and support it. I commend all that you do, but I think it’s maybe not a fit for us. You know, we started the WBC in a hotel room!

It’s a famous story, and I appreciate you speaking about this with me candidly. How do you view sustainability in terms of the future of La Marzocco? 

Our strategy for sustainability comes not just in terms of giving back and respecting the planet, but also to respect the company in the years ahead. What we do for the people, what we do for the products, what we do for profit, these are all connected, because if we aren’t successful we can’t give back. We can’t give to our employees and we can’t hire more people and we can’t develop products if we aren’t successful with our work right now.  Our ability to help the planet comes from there. This is something we’re extremely sensitive to and I really consider myself an activist—I am disgusted by how we’re dealing with this planet, and I want this company to be futurist. Business is about growing everything, not just revenue. So I want to send a message that making profit is not bad, so long as you use those profits to grow everything, including our strategy for addressing damage to the planet and our carbon footprint.

Thank you.

The Sprudge Executive Series is a new multimedia interview series on the Sprudge Media Network. Join us in 2020 for more long-form interviews from leaders across the world of coffee. 

Jordan Michelman is a co-founder at Sprudge Media Network. He is co-author of The New Rules of Coffee: A Modern Guide for Everyone out now on Ten Speed Press, and a freelance journalist contributing to The Los Angeles Times, TASTE Cooking, PUNCH Drinks, Willamette Week, and The Stranger. 

Zachary Carlsen is a co-founder at Sprudge Media Network. He is a co-author of The New Rules of Coffee: A Modern Guide for Everyone out now on Ten Speed Press, and the curator of a forthcoming collection of 20th-century rare books and ephemera. 

Disclosure: La Marzocco is an advertising partner on Sprudge Media Network. 

Guido Bernardinelli Of La Marzocco: The Sprudge Executive Interview published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

[shebreathesslowly]

Guido Bernardinelli Of La Marzocco: The Sprudge Executive Interview

The Sprudge Executive Interview is a new feature series on Sprudge, featuring face-to-face longform interviews with founders, CEOs, and executives across the specialty coffee industry. These are candid looks at the inside story of coffee leaders around the world. In 2020 the program will expand to include a monthly podcast presentation, part of an expanded podcast platform on Sprudge Media Network. 

Today’s featured guest on the Sprudge Executive Interview—our first—is Guido Bernardinelli, the CEO of La Marzocco International. The La Marzocco brand was founded in Florence, Italy by the Bambi brothers, Giuseppe and Bruno, in 1927. Over the last several decades it has become synonymous with the growth of specialty coffee culture worldwide, most notably under the tenure of departing CEO Kent Bakke. Bernardinelli joined the company in 2002 in a sales capacity, helping guide the brand through a phase of international growth from its marketing and logistics hub in Milan. He rose to the rank of Managing Director in 2009, and in 2018 was appointed CEO by the company’s international board of directors.

We interviewed Bernardinelli on the eve of launching Accademia del Caffè Espresso, a global education and innovation center dedicated to specialty coffee housed in the company’s midcentury factory headquarters high above Florence. Our conversation took place immediately following the 2019 HOST exhibition in Milan, at which La Marzocco debuted a range of products and prototypes including the brand’s first foray into grinder design, an unusual new automatic milk frother, and updated versions of the brand’s iconic Strada and GB5 espresso machines.

As with all interviews in the Sprudge Executive Interview series, Mr. Bernardinelli is interviewed by Sprudge co-founder Jordan Michelman, with photos by Sprudge co-founder Zachary Carlsen. This interview and accompanying photoshoot was conducted at Accademia del Caffè Espresso in Florence, Italy, and has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Hello Guido Bernardinelli, and thank you very much for sitting with us today for the Sprudge Executive Interview. You’ve just finished HOST 2019 in Milan, and tomorrow you will help launch the new Accademia project. But here now, today—what is your frame of mind? 

It’s a crazy week—one of the most memorable weeks of our lives, all at once. We had wonderful meetings in Milan with our partners and investors—and maybe our most successful show in our history. We divided our booth into two sides for innovation and lifestyle, to really understand, what are we there for? Are we there to provide community and a neutral space for roasters to come along? Or are we there because we built innovations for the improvement of the coffee? And to my surprise, both sides of the booth were packed—maybe even a little bit more on the innovation side, because we had so many new pieces of gear to communicate. It was a very formative and exciting experience to be there for a couple of days at the show. HOST is big, you know… sometimes it can seem too big, in fact. It feels like it over-represents the size of the specialty coffee industry. That said, it’s a gathering that includes everyone. We had an opportunity to connect with all sides of the industry—local, European, and old school as well as specialty.

What were you most excited about at HOST 2019?

I was fascinated to watch our team, our international team, working together so flawlessly and in sync. We work hard to put our people in the center at this company, and at this show, you know, it was the people—they made the product, they made the show, they made decisions, and they made an incredible experience for our company. These are people who are just completely devoted to our company—giving demonstrations on our milk frother, our app, the new grinder—just non-stop, with a hundred people in the space at a time, under the hot lights with no air conditioning.

We felt that the people who developed the product would be the best to explain it, even though we know this is a risk! Our customers are typically very talented, and they understand the product; they have a bias for technology. I think it’s not coherent to develop a product and then have somebody who hasn’t had a lab review, doesn’t have an understanding, go out at HOST and try to explain it. For me, our way at La Marzocco is better for the customer, it’s better for the people, and it creates a better connection.

Guido, what is your first memory of espresso?

Nobody has ever asked me that question! I have goosebumps.

Now, my mom—she passed away when I was 22. She was an English professor, and she was a coffee freak, drinking coffee all day long. She would go for coffee all the time and would take me along to all the little places. The coffee was better in our country many years ago than it is today, for the most part. In our family they would say, “Oh, there’s Guido and mom again, drinking coffee!” Usually, at home it was with a Moka Pot, although I did see her drinking Nescafe once—that’s because she lived in England for so long. She got a degree in Cambridge, after the University of Milan, and when she came back she loved Nescafe, which quickly turned into espresso. I remember my grandfather saying, “Guido will end up working in coffee one day because he’s always in the coffee bar!” Looking back he was very right.

My grandfather lived in a little town on the lake, where there was a factory famous for making bar counters, and so he would make coffee bars. My town had one of the biggest flea markets in Europe—it takes over the whole town. It’s against every possible fire law, every safety law, and it lasts all day, not just the morning. That town is there on the border with Switzerland, so many of the Swiss and Germans would come into the city each week—we were invaded by German-speaking tourists! And so there’s way more cafes per capita where I grew up than a normal town might have, and every Wednesday growing up, all of us, we worked on Wednesday when the fair was held. Sandwiches, coffees, beers, quick meals—in my school we had to go on Saturday because Wednesday was a day off to work at the fair. This is how we grew up!

I think my background is not so much about coffee as a raw material. This has become much more important to me thanks to La Marzocco, and especially projects like Songwa and Accademia, but growing up here in Italy, in the service hospitality industry, this is about the social component of cafe life, which is very important. Cafe life and the expectation of a good coffee. And now we have brought this into our culture at La Marzocco, to try and create a cafe culture in the company. When you look at our booth, our factory, our parties, our gatherings, our leadership activities, it’s in the same spirit. It is an extension of cafe life.

You joined La Marzocco in 2002. How has the company changed since then? How is it the same?

There’s an answer in your question that’s implied. The company is there. The culture is there. We’re here in the hills, and you’re talking about bike culture, cafe life, the origins of the espresso product, and what it means in the community. Cafe culture in Italy was already there, it was just this best-kept secret in the world. It was a lifestyle.

What has changed is that we’ve taken these values and we’ve told the world about them. It’s about telling the story. We are passionate about telling our story, and as the culture spread and the story spread, specialty coffee has grown. We have expanded within. When we—Lorenzo Carboni and I—got involved in La Marzocco in 2002, we were so excited. As a friendly competitor, we looked at these cool machines from Florence and Seattle, and we said, “It’s so cool but nobody knows about it yet”! We were so impressed by the technology. And when we finally got the job—I’m not going to go into too much detail about how we got it—but Lorenzo and I are sitting there saying, “Hey, what’s the benchmark? What’s a business plan?” We had one computer in those days and we were working from out of our couch. I had a newborn kid and I was working overnight every night.

But I knew we needed to tell the story. We became adamant that the machine was doing justice to the coffee, and we saw a better future in coffee, that we should inspire more people to follow the trend and inspire people to follow the trend. I remember our first website back then: it was a page of the catalog, featuring an FB70 espresso machine with a fruit basket next to it, filled with all these different kinds of tropical fruits. We had to do everything back then! We couldn’t afford a webmaster; we had to do it ourselves. Everything, slowly… slowly… we did it ourselves.

You joined La Marzocco first as a salesman. What’s the furthest you ever went to sell an espresso machine?

Siberia. Tierra Del Fuego.

Tierra Del Fuego??? 

Yes! There was a guy in southern Argentina who kept sending us a Christmas card. So one year we said, “We’re in Argentina, let’s go.” There was no cell phone. I traveled there and sent a postcard back to Italy for myself, but I also traveled with my camera then. I was always frustrated wanting to communicate enough, wanting to explain enough.

One year during the summer holidays I decided, if I go now, I’ll have an opportunity to discover a new market. So I drove from Kazakhstan to Siberia in a car with three Russians smoking continuously. We had a car problem. One of them was a butcher, so we had somebody stop in a former mental institution that they turned into a hotel. They boiled a sheep all night for us to eat for breakfast. I tried it, a little piece, but I couldn’t really eat it… these are the stories I have. I remember from there going to a little town where there’s a five-star patisserie, the most beautiful pastries, with a La Marzocco espresso machine and bullet holes in the wall. I’ll never forget it.

When I took this job I was so young! That was 17 years ago!

I can relate! 

But I think it matters you know, to remind you that we’re a small company, in the scheme of things.

Why does that matter so much to you?

Because a small company means freedom. It means you get the ear of the owners, and you can express yourself internationally. We’re in America but we’re also in Italy, and it means great things. It means that everyone has been passionate about what we’re doing and we didn’t have any resistance to go out and change the world.  We were supported in our dream. And that was the most incredible luck that anyone can have. Maybe there were some questions about how us Italians were doing things, how some of us were verbalizing things across the ocean… and also on this side, the Italians have sometimes had a hard time receiving certain patterns of feedback from doing business that we’re not familiar within our culture. I would say it’s never reached any sort of great frustration cost—and it’s so much more valuable to think about what our global experience has done for us in terms of creating a cross-cultural market, and the global diversity of our team spirit.

Driving in a car with the Russians, never taking a holiday, taking chances to sell espresso machines in a community with no espresso machines—in the moment we didn’t realize it. All we knew was, we have to send espresso machines to the moon!

I feel like there are more stories. 

There are so many good stories. I remember, we went to Denver—I had never been to Denver before, and remember, this was before cellphones. So we grab the business pages from the hotel phonebook, and we go to the hotel lobby phonebank with the rotary phones, and we start calling up every coffee company in the phonebook. “Do you want to buy an espresso machine? Today is your lucky day!”

You know, but as we grew the company, everything we did went back into the company. I didn’t go buy a yacht. Accademia was a five million dollar investment. This is our hobby as well as our work. All we want is a relatively good salary to raise our kids, and from there, we want to change the world of coffee. In those early years, I would work tirelessly, non-stop. I had years—2004, 2005—where I was in Italy just 40 days a year, at most. It is why we are what we are today.

My big question for you now is, how do you balance all this tradition with innovation? You are in some ways a very old and also a very new company, which is what Accademia expresses so artfully and emotionally. But how do you balance that now as a leader, as CEO? 

Many people confuse tradition with old and dusty, nostalgic. I consider tradition as an inspiration. I think it’s meaningful to bring forth in the modern world the evolution of these products and to express what kind of citizens we are through them. Because for me, if we have tradition that means we can communicate our very best, and be an example for other companies and other entrepreneurs to believe in what we believe. There are many great machines out there,  but they have a harder time without the tradition, these relatively new companies, start-ups, even if they’ve been acquired. You know, if all along it had been a matter of money, we would have closed long ago!

How do you mean?

We built this and we didn’t have any money! There were other companies with branch offices—1000 offices!—everyone flying business class, companies with managers and career paths—what did we have? We had a vision for a better cup of coffee, for sure. We had a vision for the barista as a utilizer of the machine, designed with the user in mind. You know, there are companies that build cars and the engineer never drives them, and it’s the same with espresso. But we have a tradition. For us, the tradition, our history and the experience, the culture we’ve built, the work, it is intangible.

When another journalist says, “Please give me the story, what is the backbone?” I have to say, well—it is tradition. There is a tradition of evolution. If you look at La Marzocco, in its own little way it has evolved into the product it is today that is very unique. Two boilers instead of one—simple, but unique. We have a tradition for vision. Think about this: the Bambi Brothers never in a million years thought they would sell an espresso machine beyond the city limits of Florence. I mean, in the early days, on the sticker for the service department they put on every machine, there was no area code.  Those stickers represented an opportunity to me—when I first got here from Cimbali, who were doing things around the world, I felt like it was such an eye-opener. Everything was still done in tiny volumes. They would make a singular machine, a one of one, for a single cafe. There were no brochures, no reproduction series. Everything was made on a cart. Some machine models, they only built five.

This way of doing business meant that every time a cafe wanted a new machine, you needed to invent one. You design, you shape, you make it according to the height of the barista… and for us to take that to a global audience, it was an evolution of the tradition, to be sure. Or perhaps a tradition of evolution, reflected in so many areas of our business. Very little of this time was commercialized. We didn’t think we were cool. We didn’t think we were special, not just yet, they just… they built. They made the first horizontal boiler much in your face because it was not commercialized. We didn’t think they were cool, we didn’t think they were special, they just… they built.

And so it’s old and new. It’s evolution, or in the same breath it’s new and it’s innovation. There’s a fine line. And I think of our job now, my job, to be a curator of the traditions and history of La Marzocco, and to maintain it, to maintain this history of evolution, and to apply it to every angle of this business.

In the early days of your time with La Marzocco, you helped sponsor and launch the World Barista Championship. Would La Marzocco ever step back up to sponsor the WBC again?

Never say never. You never know in life. If it becomes relevant for us and the industry again, it would become a consideration. It was relevant then for us, as one of many things we did to give justice to our sector many years ago, and also to promote our products to the smaller community of baristas who could receive a specific product like ours. I think that, you know, in the early days the biggest commitment was logistics, to convince our customers to go compete and to get the machines set up. I remember driving to competitions in pizzerias in Berlin or Amsterdam, and we wanted to be the adventurers of the industry. We believed in them, we believed in the Specialty Coffee Association, and we believed in the ability to roll up our sleeves and produce a better experience for our own people. I don’t know if it ever worked in terms of sales—that’s very questionable. But it felt right then. And when it became more commercial, more about the money and the qualifying tests became more commercial, it felt like everybody passed the test. Whoever spent the money passed the test. And they never had that standard before, when we were the only ones. Eventually, we felt like it was no longer in line with the essence of our true spirit as a company and we didn’t want to get it tangled with the business, and so we stepped away.

All that to say, I am very glad there is a WBC. And I am glad there are companies—like Sprudge, and like many others—that believe in it and invest in it and support it. I commend all that you do, but I think it’s maybe not a fit for us. You know, we started the WBC in a hotel room!

It’s a famous story, and I appreciate you speaking about this with me candidly. How do you view sustainability in terms of the future of La Marzocco? 

Our strategy for sustainability comes not just in terms of giving back and respecting the planet, but also to respect the company in the years ahead. What we do for the people, what we do for the products, what we do for profit, these are all connected, because if we aren’t successful we can’t give back. We can’t give to our employees and we can’t hire more people and we can’t develop products if we aren’t successful with our work right now.  Our ability to help the planet comes from there. This is something we’re extremely sensitive to and I really consider myself an activist—I am disgusted by how we’re dealing with this planet, and I want this company to be futurist. Business is about growing everything, not just revenue. So I want to send a message that making profit is not bad, so long as you use those profits to grow everything, including our strategy for addressing damage to the planet and our carbon footprint.

Thank you.

The Sprudge Executive Series is a new multimedia interview series on the Sprudge Media Network. Join us in 2020 for more long-form interviews from leaders across the world of coffee. 

Jordan Michelman is a co-founder at Sprudge Media Network. He is co-author of The New Rules of Coffee: A Modern Guide for Everyone out now on Ten Speed Press, and a freelance journalist contributing to The Los Angeles Times, TASTE Cooking, PUNCH Drinks, Willamette Week, and The Stranger. 

Zachary Carlsen is a co-founder at Sprudge Media Network. He is a co-author of The New Rules of Coffee: A Modern Guide for Everyone out now on Ten Speed Press, and the curator of a forthcoming collection of 20th-century rare books and ephemera. 

Disclosure: La Marzocco is an advertising partner on Sprudge Media Network. 

from Sprudge https://ift.tt/2Z2ZPrK

[lovinitkpop]

Brown Sugar and Honey

This one is about a new girl group at SM. You could say EXO sister group there may be a love line put in it who really knows. I mean I know but then again I might not know. Heads up I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes after rereading it over and over I can’t deal with it.

Oh the reason I came up with this title is because the main OC is black and DO KyungSoo looks damn sexy and handsome when his skin is dark and tan and NOT WHITE WASHED!!!!! STOP THE WHITE WASHING!!!!!!!!

If there is a love line then it will be my first Kyungsoo series. Hope you like it but if you don’t guess what I don’t give two shits leave my blog then. Anyways enjoy bye.

Warnings: Fluffy, Angst, Language, Bullying, Stupid, May not make senses, Brain frat, May not have smut, Trigger, Suicide talk, Racism, Blood, etc.

Pairing: OC x DO Kyungsoo

Chapter 31

July 7, 2019

Renesmee looks around the set nodding her head. “Unnie!” Eunjin calls out walking over to Renesmee.

“What’s up?” Renesmee say looking back at her. Eunjin smiles hugging Renesmee. “Someone is happy today.”

“Yup today we start filming videos for our tour.” Eunjin says leaning her head on Renesmee shoulder.

The rest of the girls walk out ready to start filming. “You okay?” Jisoo asks looking at Renesmee.

“Yeah just a lot on my mind still.” Renesmee says smiling looking at her. “Still trying to process this whole album thing.”

“Okay girls lets get ready for the ball.” Their manager says looking at them. The girls nod finishing getting ready.

Once on set they get ready they start filming for the day. After they finish the first couple of scenes the girls run off and get change.

It was around 5 in the afternoon when the girls take a break. “I really love this whole masquerade theme.” Yiyang says as she eats.

“Yeah unnie you did a really good job with this.” Chaoxing says smiling as she looks at Renesmee. “Huh unnie?”

Renesmee lays there not moving and the girls look over. “Unnie?” Roxay says walking over to her.

As Roxay reaches out to touch Renesmee Jisoo runs over stopping her. “Don’t touch her.” Jisoo says seeing Renesmee laying there crying.

“What’s going on?” Moka asks looking at Jisoo. Jisoo sighs shaking her head watching them.

“She doesn’t sleep for a reason.” Jisoo says looking at them. Renesmee turns over getting shaky as she sleep.

Their managers walk in looking at them. Renesmee cries out as she starts shaking. Jisoo walks over to her bag looking inside.

“Where is it.” Jisoo groans throwing stuff out her bag.

“What’s going on with Renesmee?” One of their managers asks. Renesmee cover her head with her arms as she starts screaming.

Jisoo jumps up grabbing the trash bin running over to Renesmee. “Renesmee hey wake up it’s just a dream.” Jisoo calls out trying to pull her arms down.

Renesmee gasp feeling Jisoo grab her arms. Jisoo pushes her hair back watching her. Renesmee sits there before leaning over and Jisoo grabs the bin holding it up as Renesmee starts throwing up.

Jisoo rubs Renesmee back waiting for her to calm down. “It’s okay Nessie.” Jisoo says as Renesmee coughs trying to catch her breath.

“You know I didn’t know it was this bad.” One of their managers says folding his arms looking at them.

“You knew about this?” Jisoo asks looking at him. Renesmee grips Jisoo arm closing her eyes.

“Yeah after her last pass out accident I had a talk with her mom.” He says tilting his head as he rubs his face.

“It wasn’t always this bad; she didn’t used to throw up.” Jisoo says looking back at Renesmee. “Here slow breaths.” She says holding up plushie.

Renesmee turns her head smelling the air and she opens her eyes. She reaches out grabbing the plushie smelling it. “Can someone please tell us what’s going on?”

“Nessie doesn’t sleep because she has night terrors why worse than nightmares.” Jisoo says standing up looking at the girls. “She thinks it has to do with her past.”

“I guess that explains why she is forever working on something.” Eunjin says folding her arms across her chest.

“With that being said you’re done.” One of the other managers says stepping forward. “You will only be allowed to practice with the girls until we say otherwise.”

“Wait what you can’t do that!” Renesmee says getting up but Jisoo pulls her back down. They all look at her worried as she grips her fist.

“Unnie we care about you so please take a break.” Roxay says sitting next to her. Renesmee sighs looking at her lap.

“Fine.”

“Go get change and I’ll take you back to the dorm.” Her manager says looking at her. “Film whatever she’s not in, we’ll get the rest next week.”

Renesmee leaves going to get changed before heading back to the dorm.

July 10, 2019

Rosalie looks at Renesmee as she sits there. “Do you want to try the sleeping pills again?” She asks and Renesmee sighs shaking her head. “Well what do you want?”

“I want my memory; I want to know why I keep hearing these voices in my dreams.” Renesmee speaks folding her arms laying on the couch.

“Look I’m just stress okay in three days we start our tour I’m fine.”

Rosalie moves closer sitting down next to Renesmee head. “I understand I just don’t want you hurt yourself.” She says pushing her hair out her face.

“So are you okay?”

Renesmee sighs looking at her mother. “I told you I was fine.” She replies laying her head on her lap.

Rosalie shakes her head watching her. “That’s not what I’m talking about.” She speaks and Renesmee hums looking up at her. “I mean with him not being here.”

“You act like he left the country.” Renesmee says tilting her head. “He’s just doing his 2 years.”

“Yeah but you really haven’t come to terms with your feelings.” Rosalie says watching her and Renesmee sighs looking away. “Wether you like it or not; he loves you and only wants you.”

“I know that.” Renesmee says folding her arms. “Trust me he has made it very clear.” She adds sitting up and her mom turns to face her.

“Okay so you know; so what are you going to do?” She asks tilting her head to the side. “Because I can still see the uncertainty in your eyes; you love him and I see and feel it from you.”

“It’s just you’re scared and I honestly don’t know why.”

Renesmee gets up off the couch going to the kitchen. Rosalie sighs watching her before putting a box on the table. “You want your memory back and you want to be with him; but you’re stopping yourself from having anything.”

Rosalie speaks standing grabbing her bag. “I understand you’re scared and that’s okay but in order for things to make itself clear you need to face your fears.”

Renesmee looks up hearing the door close as she grabs her drink. She walks back to the couch sitting down. “What is this?”

Renesmee tilts her head reaching for the box. She picks up the box placing it on her lap running her hand across the top of it.

“My greatest fears?”

Renesmee reads the top of the box humming. She opens the box looking inside. “What?”

Renesmee pulls the book out looking at it. “Well I like the look of it.” She says looking at the black and red book tilting her head.

“Book of fears?”

Renesmee opens the book and hums seeing it empty. She looks back in the box seeing a few notes. She pulls one out reading it.

‘Fill out the letters and the book; you might just find the answers you want.’

“I swear my mom is so weird; what does she even do?” Renesmee groans putting the book back in the box before going to her room.

She places the box on her desk sighing. Renesmee pulls the next letter out opening it. She walk around reading the letter as she gets her clothes.

‘I’m sure you are wondering why I gave you this box; your grandma did the same to me when me and your father were dating.

So I want you to really be honest on do what’s in the box; I promise it will help you. I know it helped me with your father.’

Renesmee shakes her head with a smirk. “If it helped then where is he.” She says putting the letter back closing the box.

She puts her clothes down walking back to the door to make sure it’s locked. Renesmee hums turning off the extra lights going back to her room.

Renesmee walks into her bathroom getting ready for a shower.

July 11, 2019

“How did I know you would be up here this late?” One of the assistant says walking into the room smiling wickedly.

“Well we are about to start a tour and I need the to make sure I have everything down.” Renesmee says as she keeps dancing.

“It’s funny you all find out that my ribs healed but waited a week to start beating me again; you know makeup can only do so much.”

“This is true had to take the heat off of us; seeing how you seem to have a favorite manager.” He says walking deeper into the room.

Renesmee smirks shaking her head as she looks at him in the mirror. “I don’t have a favorite, I don’t know why he won’t just leave me be.” She says as she stops waiting for the next song.

“So again what can I do for you?” Renesmee asks pushing her hair back. “Want me to stand in the pouring rain again?”

“Just checking on your progress.” He says leaning against the wall. She nods and starts to dance again. “Hey I tried to change their mind about the standing in the rain.”

Renesmee scoffs still dancing. “Yeah well now I’m sick so I hope you’re happy.” She speaks as she goes over the lyrics in her head. He nods smiling as he watches folding his arms.

The assistant smiles as he starts talking about the others saying a few names here and there. Renesmee just smiles nodding her head as she listens to him. “You know out of all of us I really hated beating you.”

“I mean why mess up a cute face like that plus a smoking hot body.” He adds biting his lip and she just sighs. “But they’d paid me extra for today so…”

Renesmee hums as she turns and he reaches over throwing a ball at her. Renesmee screams hitting the floor holding her jaw.

“Wow I got the face first try that’s double extra on my pay.” He says walking over to her body. “But I did break the mirror so they may take out for that.”

Renesmee slowly backs up trying to get back. “Oh no where are you going.” He says grabbing her by the hair and she starts kicking trying to pull free.

“Come on let go!” She screams but he just kicks her in the stomach. “You can’t do this; you won’t get away with this.”

“Oh but I can and I will.” He says laughing as he kicks her again. “See it’s your word against ours.”

“And who’s going to believe a fat ugly *****.” He smirks pushing her head to the floor. He steps back looking at the blood.

“You think you’re safe because you got a few wins; and they are going on with the tour.”

Renesmee lays there crying as she covers her head curling into a ball. He clicks his tongue shaking his head. He continues to kick and stomp her.

“Think of this as a good luck beating and the last one, you made it so we’ll leave you alone.”

He says looking back over at the door seeing it open. “Alright let’s go now; hey make sure you clean up your blood this time.” Another voice says seeing Renesmee on the floor.

They both leave laughing turning the lights off. “Why am I still alive?” Renesmee cries outs laying there in the dark.

Renesmee groans as she makes her way over to the hidden camera turning it off. “I told them they would pay for this.”

Renesmee coughs slowly making her way over to turn the lights back on. Once she packs her bag she starts to clean the floor. Renesmee sighs limping back over to her bag picking it up.

She calls for a cab once she gets outside. As she pulls her mask up covering her mouth she starts to text her manager.

[leatherlaceandblades]

Off the Table, pt2

"174?"

Moka was propped up on her bed, but she didn't acknowledge her voice being said. She didn't have to, technically - she was awake, she was alive, and short of yanking her new ears off herself, both of them knew that she could hear just fine. "Don't be afraid to try. Here, let me make the note for you, and you should be able to imitate the sound yourself..."

And the jen did. It was a nice sound. Pretty. But she didn't repeat it back. She wasn't in the mood.

"Please, this is important. I-"

A bark of laughter came from the front door. It was deep and guttural and came around large teeth. "Shouldn't waste your time on that one. She should have been Reaper fodder ages ago."

Moka's ears twitched. There was nothing but brutal mockery in that voice...it was one from the higher tier combat units that held their position unquestioned for their scary size and aggressiveness. And he was good at it. Most of the time, he didn't even have to do anything himself, but let those that flocked to him as a leader take care of any challengers. And when he -did- step up to face another unit, it got bloody. Really blood.

"Get moving, 159."

The male subject was cuffed on the shoulder from behind, the whole of his bulk barely even budging. Another laugh was his response, his mouth twisted in a cruel grin. There was teeth. He was spoiling for a fight, but let himself be moved out of sight and further down the hall. The door slammed a second later, and Moka was a bit surprised to find that it was her current caregiver, looking flushed and really rather pissed off.

"Don't listen to him. Big bully. You're just feeling a little down is all. Once you're accustomed to everything you-"

"He's right."

The medical woman stammered to a stop as Moka interrupted, going from angry to stricken looking. Moka waited for her to scold her for saying something like that - it seemed like a thing she would do. Instead, there was a touch of a hand in her hair. Even tangled, the touch was so careful not a single snag was tugged. "Then let's change that, shall we?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"This next set, please."

It had taken some time, but the more Moka worked at it, the easier the recognition of the notes came. jen Gabris had been right: picking this up came almost as a second nature, and she could hear even the faintest warble or incorrect shift in the music without even trying. The thrill that came with hitting everything just right was beyond words in satisfaction, making goosebumps rise up and down her arms.

They weren't in one of the examination rooms any more; the space they occupied now was large, filled with various exercise and work out equipment...worse for wear, but still in working condition. Mats were rolled up and stuffed in to the corners to be laid out when stretches or closer space wrestling was to happen. Technically, it was outside of normal Subject space, but special permissions to gain access to it had been granted as it was about as close as they could get to an open space that was still private.The majority of Moka’s bandages had also been discarded as the surgical wounds had healed themselves. No longer in danger of infection, however, she was even permitted to resume wearing a lighter armor while she was out and about, making her far less edgy about being surprised by other Subjects looking for an easy take down.

Althea jen Desideris smiled, the slender fingers of her right hand tapping the air gentle to lead Moka when to hit the notes, and when to cease. She was good at it - her patience was astounding, and a calming aura that kept even well deserved frustrations at bay. Moka had never met her up until this point, but Vivian had decided her influence was needed here. As for Vivian herself, Moka still wasn't sure what to make of her, or why she was trying as hard as she was to see that this experiment came to fruition. She could've easily walked away, but...

"...She will need to practice other sorts besides this. They'll want to know how this could be seen as any sort of weapon."

"Indeed. But you cannot deny that she has come from. If nothing else, they can find a use for her as a back up on the field, could they not? There is something...powerful. In just listening to her."

"Oh yes, sure. I mean, you're right, but I don't know how they would feel about that. We're aiming for a combat unit. Something that would lead the charge frontlines. Even the flip-side of their group goes stealthy. Nothing really stealthy about making sounds. We'll have to find a way for her to emulate sounds that normal vocal cords. I'll have to get with the other departments to see if they can give us examples of them. It seems once she hears it, she can match it, so..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rock exploded, the impact burst almost as if it had come from the inside, folding in then erupting back out, sending debris flying in all directions. "Oh yes, that's it! That's perfect!"

Vivian yanked the protective ear covers off, her whole face lit up in the biggest smile Moka had ever seen a person wear. They had been on a steady increasing volume, those joyful looks, the more the two of them worked together. The more sounds that the female Subject managed to make, the more delighted her caregiver got. She had thought for sure that the jen would've long ago been assigned elsewhere; it had been moons now she seemed to pop her head in to Moka's room and drawn her out for more practice. Slowly, slowly...she was getting to expect it. Almost look forward to it.

It was almost like having a friend. Or what she imagined having a friend would be like. At least someone that wanted to see her achieve something great. "Here, look! I spoke to some people in the machinery department, and they said they would be able to make us some smaller versions of projectile launchers. We could load them with more of the large rocks, so you can get something more close to practical practice in. Afterall, I don't think a target is going to just stand still and let you scream in their face until their eardrums pop..."

"...You talk a lot."

She had wanted to say it a long while ago. And, the vast majority of the time, Moka didn't mind the chatter between hitting notes, hearing various wave sounds, and other tasks. In truth she really didn't mind it right then, either. She just wanted to know what the woman would say in return.

"Huh?", the red-head paused in her pointing out her idea; the placement, the projectile, even in the midst of making an explosive hand gesture like what she imagined Moka's sounds could cause the rocks to do. "Oh.”

And she laughed. 

Moka wasn't sure if she was being laughed -at-, or if jen Gabris was finding amusement in herself. Or maybe she shouldn't have asked; as patient as this one had been, that didn't mean she didn't have her limits and bounderies too... Panic surged up in Moka's gut, tensing up when her ears picked up and jump started her brain that Vivian was coming towards her. She twitched, ears laying out to either side. She couldn't attack, but she didn't want to move either. Moving was weakness, the whole training was so she wouldn't be weak. She was going to be a combat, she was going to be a fighter. Fighters weren't weak...

Pat.

The hand that came down on top of her head was anything but harsh and strict. It was a gentle cup over the now washed and brushed pink curls, directly between the highly sensitive ears as if to take in to account even a simple touch could hurt them. A little rustle, back and forth...

Moka's eyes had shamefully shut for the moment she heard the contact coming in. Her right eye peeked open, then her left to find that the much taller Garlean was leaning in closer to her. Same cheerful face, same open smile.

"I do, don't I? My mom told me it was because I was bad at keeping anything to myself. Keeping secrets. After a while, I figured there was no point in trying to keep anything like that to myself, since it felt like I was lying about who I was. That and it was just way too hard when I had so much to share."

"Why would you want to share anything?", the concept was almost beyond her. Niceness could often times be slapped back in your face if presented to the wrong person. Moka knew that well enough...had been through it enough...

"Because, 174, if you don't share, how do you ever make friends? And how do you ever get to know yourself and grow with knowing yourself with other people?"

"Is that why you smile so much too?"

"Heh, I guess nothing gets by you, does it?", the hand finally lifted out of her hair...Moka both missed it and was glad it was gone in equal measure. "I guess in part. And it feels good to smile. Did you know it was harder to frown or look upset then to just smile? Though...", the blonde woman leaned all the further forward until her face was level with the Miqo'te's. "I think you're out of practice. I think today we'll add in smiling to your exercises."

Her expression serious, all lab coat and clipboard and done up hair meant to be professional, waggled a finger at Moka as if scolding her. "I want a big smile on your face for every note you successfully hit. We'll get those muscles in shape in no time, you'll see."

[tyler-the-weirdguy]

Edited story

The Demon half-breed Chapter 1: The beginning? Or is it? 3rd POV What some people don't realize is that there is always a dark side to everything called madness and that madness is what some people call a curse but the thing about curses. They can be someone else's salvation from death. To give a man a second chance to be great or be the worlds destruction or when a goddess gives him a chance to sign a contract to unleash that power so you don't fear madness or the psychotic you only fear........fear it self because what is unknown is known to another. There is only one man no........ teenager able to hold this power he is known as Tyler Rodgers, but to the world of the unknown he is a demon consumed by madness known as Rex The Red. He used to be the strongest person in the demon world. Then he was caged like an animal only able to see the world but never able to actually do anything. Now we find him being forced to move to a new country so he can learn how to control this power. Now you may be wondering what kind of school can teach someone like him well that place is a school built by monsters for monsters, Yokai Academy Tyler POV "Now why am I being forced to go to this damn school?" I said. "Because you need to control your powers" said the school headmistress Ms.Viper. I glared at her in annoyance "I don't have my powers because someone decided to seal them off, so how am I supposed to learn to control them oh dear Headmistress?!?!" I said my anger coming of in waves of energy with my demonic wings coming out and my eyes glowing red. "No" said a girl that follows me named. Valentine hitting me on the head with a ladle and a smile. See Valentine's a full blooded demon unlike me and she is the total opposite of me. Where when I am in my demon form I am consumed by rage. But she is a love demon or to be exact a succubus. The reason why she is with me is because she says I am her "Destined one" so yeah weird. Me actually meeting her was actually a very scary experience Flashback: It was February 14th. Valentine's Day the one day that makes my soul burn. Well that's considering the fact that my soul is being burnt back together while I lay in a hospital bed "This sucks!" I yelled to no one in particular. That's when the hell of my week walked into my room "How are you sweetheart" said the nurse."Go away and once I get out of here I will never be calling you for a date!!!!!!" "Awww don't be like that sweetie you and I both know that you'll be back for me." She winked at me now I am a little scared to be in the same room as her. "So when am I getting out of here?" I said. "Sadly today..............so get up you're free to go home and call me whenever you want." She said."No I won't and I AM FREE!!!!!!" I yelled while I ran out of the building strait into someone "oh looks like I was just about to miss you Mr.Rodgers or should I say" she got closer to my ear and whispered "Rex The Red?" At that moment I had two options 1.Run like hell or 2. Turn around and speak to the person behind me "Personally I believe option two would be the best option." She said. "Well lady" "it's Ms.Viper to you." she said cutting me off "Ok Ms.Viper you know me then I take it?" I said with a smirk. "Well yes I would say that I know you enough to know what you would choose in this type of scenario." "Well then Lady you don't know shit about me or you would know that for me there is always a third choice." I could tell that she was looking at me confused "What do........." I cut her off by jumping 50ft into the air and growing my wings and flew away. "That Ms.Kitsune is why I brought you here with me." "Please just call me Valentine Ms.Viper but I see your point in bringing me." Valentine said with a dazed look in her eyes. 'You will be mine Tyler even if I have to follow you to the end of the world!!!!!!!' thought Valentine. 3rd POV "Tyler what are you thinking about?!?!?!?" Valentine asked with concern. "How I might fall in love with a random girl that's not you."Tyler responded with a smirk. Tyler then heard sniffling coming from beside him. He turned to see Valentine on the verge of tears "You wouldn't do that now would you Tyler? I mean it has to be only me and you there can be no one else I......I would kill who ever gets in my way!!!!!!!!" Tyler POV 'Oh my god she has gone psycho!!!!!!' "That's what you get for letting her follow you home you Baka" said Rex "Will you shut the hell up!!!!!!" I responded back. 'It's not my fault that she's in love with me anyway shit when she found me the second time she was kind of psycho.' Just then the bus stopped and and the bus driver looked back at us and said "You know kids that this school is different from other schools at the students are even more different." "Don't worry about me" my eyes glowed red at this point " I. Am the one that is different from them." I ran off the bus before Valentine could even get out of her seat "TYLER!!!!!!" "hahahaha!!!!!" A few yards away I had gotten away from her and I was walking through a dead forest looking at the water that just happened to be red "That's weird" That's when someone ran into the back of me "wwwwaaaaahhhhh!!!!" I heard a feminine voice cry out. I turned around and looked down I saw a girl with pink hair and a Rosairo around her neck 'God damn it she's a vampire' she then looked up at me "sorry about that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going" "oh yeah well here let me help you up" I said sticking my hand out to her. "My name is Moka what is yours?" She said while looking at me with a blush on her face 'Oh god damn it why me?' "Yeah um I'm Tyler so I will be going now!!!!!" I tried to make my get away but the vampire was persistent "Wait!!" 'OH GOD DAMN IT RUN!!!!' I ran for my life scared of the thought of another girl in love with me. 5minute later "I finally made it to the damn school!!!!!" I yelled to the sky and everyone in the court yard looked at me funny "Hola! Como esta? Me Llama Tyler!" The students started whispering to others "what's wrong with him?" "What did he say?" I yelled " DON'T LOOK AT ME THEN IF YOU DON'T WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!" Everyone looked away at that time and ignored me. "That's better." "OH Tyler~~~~" 'oh god no please not be Valentine or that vampire chick' next thing I know I am being dragged around by Ms.Viper while she acts like a schoolgirl. "Oh I finally have you here Tyler and you will be like the son I never had!!!!" "Wait when did this happen because I know that I didn't agree to be your son or to you being my mom!" Then she stopped she turned and was on the verge of tears "B....Bu......But I just thought.............we could be family" she said with a tear rolling down her cheek. "Gr fine fine I will think about it!" I said "NO YOU WILL ACCEPT THAT I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!" "FUCK NO YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE MY MOTHER" I yelled back at her "their dead and I don't want YOU to replace them" surprising her with tears flowing down my face. "But Re..I mean Tyler don't be like that you already are my child the day your damn mother died!!!!!" She said happily. Rex's prison 'You now what must be done Tyler.' 'You and I both know we don't know how to unleash you.' 'Figure it out you damn idiot it can't be that hard' 3rd POV "Gr aaah" Tyler attacked her with enough force to break down a wall to the outside. "What are you doing Tyler?!?!" yelled Ms.Viper. But to the entire court yard what was there was nothing they have ever seen. What did stand there in the hole in the wall was a man that was only heard of legend. Tyler stood there but all of his skin was slowly peeling away with the muscle still attached being replaced with demonic armor . The atmosphere was deathly it also left everyone feeling terrified. Before anything could happen a pitch black vortex opened up to show a teenage girl "Well seems you like your new home Tyler" the girl said as arms made out of shadows grabbing Tyler's arms and legs bringing him to his knees. "Know you now you aren't supposed to be able to do that Tyler." "Sorry but who are you?" Ms.Viper said glaring at the girl. "Not now first I have to deal with him." The girl walked closer to Tyler touching his forehead. She then walked back to her original spot. That's when a black light came out of Tyler's eye sockets and mouth. Then he passed out after returning to normal. 1st POV Let me tell you being forced out your own body then out of a demon form hurts like hell!!!!! When I woke up I was in the schools nurses office. "Looks like you had quite the evening wouldn't you say Tyler?" "You could say that but then again when isn't it Lacy?" She glanced at me with a small smirk "Well that may be true but at least this time You didn't kill anyone and I didn't have to use hollow-San to tame you" "Hay we said we would never bring that back up!!!!" I said to her with a little pout. "Oh boohoo cry me a river." "You're mean you know that." "Oh really" then she kicked me right through the wall right into someone I didn't want to see again for a long time "There you are Tyler I was wandering when you would come back to me!" said Valentine "Oh HELL NO NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT!!!!" I yelled while running to homeroom. 3rd POV We come to Ms.Nekonome's class "So to end of the introduction so welcome to Yokai Academy where you will learn to live with humans." That's when the door blew open to show a boy standing there looking back "GO TO YOUR OWN CLASS!!!!!!" He yelled "Um who are you" "oh oh yeah Tyler Rodgers I'm one of your students" "Ok then then please take a seat in the back." Tyler went to his desk and saw there was one more seat behind him and a girl with blue hair staring at him he tried to ignore her but was getting annoyed. Then the door opened to show a girl with pink hair looking depressed then she looked up "Hi I'm Moka........." That's when she spotted Tyler in the back of class and she pounced at him bringing him into a hug "GET OFF OF ME WOMAN!!!!!" "No you are now mine now and forever!!!!!" While that was happening Ms.Nekonome was trying to get their attention and the boys in the class were glaring at Tyler cursing him for having a pretty girl hanging of of him. 1st POV After class I made it to the roof yelling in pain this happened is because my seal on Rex is breaking "Tyler!" Yelled Valentine and Moka at the same time. "GO AWAY" I yelled to them but it was already to late Rex was there and out not controlling my body but his. 3rd POV A creature like no other flew from Tyler's body it was a head taller then Tyler with black eyes with a red slit for a pupil. But as Tyler fell Moka ran to catch him but in the process Tyler's hand hit her rosairo and it came off in a flash a new Moka was there holding Tyler "What are you Tyler and why don't I want to let you go?" Tyler whispered weakly "Called it" Moka stood up and faced the Demon "Who are you and why are you here!" I am Rex The Red and I am now going to let the rain be blood while the world drowns in blood!" That's when Moka jumped in front of Rex and attempted a kick but Rex elbowed her knee effectively breaking it. Then Valentine unleashed her true form and went to scratch Rex but Rex sent a punch strait through her abdomen She whispered "I will always love you Tyler." She landed with a thud and passed out with blood pooling around her. Lacy POV "Those idiots didn't they feel the energy Tyler have off it was stronger then them and I know Rex's power is stronger." She looked over to hollow-San "Go and put him in his place." "Let's see if he can handle me." Hollow-san said with a psychotic smile and she flew off. 3rd POV Rex was hit out of the air and lost an arm by a green flash. He hit the ground with a thud and black blood shooting out from where his arm used to be. Again a green flash hit him right through the heart effectively putting him back into the seal. "Take them to the nurses office." "Yes ma'am!" Hollow-san them to the infirmary. "His change has started its time to see if he can control it." Lacy said staring off into the red water. "Well he doesn't have his best friend with him what do you expect?" Said a male voice Lacy jumped up scared and punched the voice in the balls. "DON'T SCARE ME ARICH!!!!!"