#monkeyfarts

[blackdollette]

so happy your requests are open tbfh, could you write something (for euro, he is so MEEEEOOWWW) about reader being a sibling of one of the other band members and they hate each other and then SEX!!

thats as specific as i can get i fear 😭 i love your work so much thanks for your time girl!!

thank you for the request babe! (this is absolutely scrumptious.)

"big, bad, naughty rock star." | euronymous

big bad wolf. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @livingdead-reilly @oliviah-25 @lankysimp@auggiethecreator @livingdead-materialgirl @monkeyfart @imoonkiss @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt

female!reader x r!euronymous

word count: 1.6k

contents: brother's best friend type relationship, tension, drinking, unprotected p in v, implications of masturbation, creampie, overstimulation, not proofread!!!

heavy metal music tore through the thin walls of your house, the noise from the basement sounding as deafening as ever from your bedroom. you were lying on your bed, eyes closed as vibrations filled your body.

you groaned, rolling off your bed as the pounding sensation in your head grew more intolerable by each passing second. truth be told, you had no problem with death metal. your brother was into it, so that automatically meant that it would rub off on you. but what you didn’t like was attention-hungry guitarists who didn’t know when to give the ear-piercing riffs a break.

you stormed down two flights of stairs, making your way to the source of the racket. you swung open the door, causing the music to come to an immiediate halt and all eyes to turn to you. euronymous’, or rather oystein’s gaze caught your eye first. it was icy and cold and bitter like the depths of the arctic.

you placed your hands on your hips, your friendly eyes turning to slits as you met his glare. “can you animals keep it down in here? i’d hate to fall asleep to your music and suddenly wake up in the pits of hell.” jan axel, your brother, smirked at your comment with a little chuckle. “no problem. we’d hate to interrupt your beauty sleep.” you swatted him off, turning and walking away from the atmosphere.

you felt a pair of predatory eyes on you the entire time, probably studying you. you had shown up in a lacy camisole top, tiny black shorts and white thigh-high socks with little pink bows on them, an outfit that would now be engraved in euronymous’ mind for the rest of time. he watched you walk up the stairs as his band continued playing, watching your ass jiggle with each step you took.

then he turned to your brother.

“why the fuck do you let her walk all over you like that? she bitches and whines like a goddamn 12 year old.” jan scoffs. “c’mon man, that’s my little sister. and you know she’s 18. you were even at that big birthday party of her’s, remember?”

oh yes, he remembered. the night you got blackout drunk and tried to lead him on, leading to a very sloppy hookup that also happened to be the night he lost his virginity, to you. but you didn’t remember any of this, and that was probably for the best. so all you viewed him as was that weird guy that hung out with your brother. 

euronymous rubbed a hand over his face. “she’s a fuckin’ brat, dude. and she dresses like a damn hooker. you can’t just let her do whatever the hell she wants around here. one way or another, it’ll ruin our band.” jan brushed him off. “whatever, man. she’s her own person. she’s a woman, so it’d be pretty fucked up for me to be bossing her around.” he flipped over his sheet music. “from the top.”

euronymous placed his guitar on it’s stand. “i’m grabbing a beer.” he muttered, making his way to the stairs and bolting up them. that’s when he saw you in the kitchen, squirting whipped cream into your mouth from the can. he felt heat pooling in his core from the sight. “oh, fuck me…” he muttered under his breath, making you turn your head to him.

“the grumpy old troll crawled out of his cave, hm?” you taunted. he rolled his eyes, spitting back a snarky response. “why don’t you crawl back into whatever fairytale you lept out from.” you snarled, the expression on your face making euronymous’ knees weak. you opened the fridge, putting the whipped cream back and grabbing a bottle of beer. the last one.

you started heading back to your room until you felt a calloused hand grip your wrist, pulling you back. “i was gonna take that.” his eyes bored into your soul, but you put on a fake-pout. “well that’s too bad.” you licked around the tip of the bottle, claiming your territory in attempt to disgust him enough to leave you alone. but his pupils dilated when he saw your pink tongue smear saliva across the bottle, awakening something primal in him.

you hopped up the stairs, giving him a view of your legs in such innocent yet provocative clothing. without thining, he followed you up, walking into your room behind you and pinning you to the door by your chest. your eyes widened as the door shut behind you, your heart hammering inside of your chest.

“what the hell are you doing, oystein? jan would murder you if he saw you doing this.” euronymous didn’t have anything to say to that, so his mouth gaped open slightly as he studied your features. you looked like if your brother was crossed with a cute little child’s doll. your eyes shimmered with intense emotion, and he imagined what they’d look like as they rolled to the back of his head while he fucked you. 

he watched the top of your breasts rise and fall with each heavy breath you took, feeling a very familiar sensation in his jeans. one that he always felt whenever he saw you. he shook himself back to reality, plucking the beer out of your hand. “a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be drinking this. besides, you’re a kid.” your cheeks puffed up with anger. “you’re like 6 months older than me, asshole.”

he shrugged, leaning against your wall and taking a large swig of beer, looking around your bedroom. as pink and girly as it was, it all became much more lewd the longer he looked. there were bras and panties slung across almost every surface, smutty books filling your bookshelves, and a pretty pink vibrator that failed to be hidden underneath your pillow.

euronymous smirked, walking toward your bed and picking it up, switching it on. “well what do we have here?” your breath left your lungs as he held it, quickly rushing up to him and snatching it. “dont touch that!” he laughed bitterly, looking you right in the eye. “so turns out princess bubblegum’s a fucking whore.” you felt your cheeks heating up as he continued to speak.

“did you get to cum, dolly? or was the sound of real music too much for your pretty little ears?” you opened your drawer, tossing the vibrator into it and slamming it shut. then you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist, picking you up and throwing you onto your bed.

everything was happening too fast for you, but the next thing you knew euronymous was on top of you, your faces less than an inch apart as his tone turned into one of lust and desire. “i asked you a question, angel. did that stupid toy make you cum?” you gulped, your core starting to drip from the words he spoke.

you shook your head, causing him to smile. he pushed your legs apart, letting himself in between them and pressing his burning erection onto your clothed pussy, making you gasp. he trailed his hand down your body, his fingers slithering under the waistband of your shorts and stopping at your panties, feeling the sopping wet mess underneath the thin, lacy fabric.

your limbs turned to jelly as a moan slipped from your lips. he began to rub slow circles onto your hard clit, feeling it’s throbbing response.he used his other hand to slip of your shorts, then your panties, taking off your clothes layer by layer until only your socks were left. but he left those on. he thought they were a nice touch.

one thing led to another, and he was pounding into you from behind, his fingers shoved down your throat as he stretched out your tiny little pussy with his monstrous cock.

your back arched as he pressed you into the mattress, feeding on your desperate moans and whimpers like a starved beast. “like that, doll? is that the spot?” he cooed, obviously mocking you. you were a sobbing mess, your mascara running down your face as you drooled around his large fingers.

he looked down at you from where he was, watching your ass bounce with each hard thrust. he watched the curve of your back as his dick made you lose all control of your senses. you would never admit it to him, but he made you feel much better than that stupid vibrator did.

“i-im cumming, oystein..!” you managed to cry out, his finger muffling your words. you had gushed and creamed and squirted around him so many times by now that you had lost count. but body was weak beyond its limits, but he refused to stop. he just kept on pushing, his deep, hoarse groans eoching through your bedroom walls.

he landed a harsh slap onto your bruised ass, making you yelp. his thrusts began to lose their composure as he spoke, his voice breaking. “c-can you cum f’me one more time, baby… can you do that for me..?” you nodded frantically, tears rolling down your face and staining your bedsheets.

his cock throbbed inside of your pulsating hole, creating a wet and sticky mess as cum poured down your thighs and stomach. and then he began to shout, his voice coming out as a booming roar. “goddamnit!” he forced himself all the way in, making your heart stop for a moment as he filled you up with his molten hot cum. he gave you a few more lazy thrusts, his groans turning into little whimpers before he pulled out, shooting a few last ropes onto your arched back.

you laid there, panting like a dog as the realization hit you. your brother’s best friend had just fucked you. the one that you had never gotten along with. the one who swore he’d kill himself if you ever got a man to touch you. the one who longed for the day that he’d finally get to claim a pure soul like yours as his own. and now, he’d finally done it. again.

author's note: i ran to write this as soon as I got the request. goodnight yall :))

[saltedrockbathco]

Guess what? Jungle Breeze sugar whipped soap has been restocked! Lather up with a tropical blend of fresh banana, sweet grapefruit, mandarin orange, kiwi, coconut cream, pink raspberries, strawberries and apples. Read more about our best selling sugar whipped soaps on the website. Pair with Jungle Breeze artisan soap, bath bombs and moisturizing body spray. #sugarwhippedsoap #whippedsoap #smallbatch #junglebreeze #tropical #banana #strawberry #coconut #bathtime #bathandbody #monkeyfarts #beauty #skincare #vegan #parabenfree #cleanser #soap #sugarscrub #bodyscrub #bodypolish #exfoliate #moisturizer #madeinmichigan #saltedrockbathco https://www.instagram.com/p/CPEQRlfDHPR/?utm_medium=tumblr

[milfadvisors]

I am so very pleased and extremely excited to introduce the newest #AdvisoryBoard members for @sensimagazine #LasVegas... the team at #ThisStuffIsGoodForYou!!! 🙌 They are one of Vegas’ very first #CBD stores, having first started at local #farmersmarkets 5 years ago, and they’re conveniently located right off #TheStrip! They specialize in #BathAndBody products, but also have #CBDpet treats and shampoos for your furry friends, too! All of their products are #holistic, #healthy, #ecofriendly, #hypoallergenic, and #crueltyfree! I am SO impressed with their uniquely expansive line... all manufactured in house and locally sourced! I can’t wait to go back and get the #CBDantiperspirant, #allnatural #dogtreats, and they’ve got a huge line of soaps, body washes, and lotions with super cute and quirky names that I’m dying to try! For example... their #BestSeller is #MonkeyFarts and it smells like bananas!!! 🍌🐵😂 LOL!!! I can’t wait to try out the rest... and you should too! #Follow them on #FB and #Insta @tsigfy, check them out online, and be watching for them in the pages of #Sensi #Vegas very soon!!! 💚 #TheNewNormal #SensiFam #NewPartners #ShoutOut #lvcannabiscommunity #OneLove (at This Stuff Is Good For You) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0SGeVrBWb2/?igshid=9xtytxqgk5s4

[soapfromtheheart-hull]

No monkeys were harmed while collecting this fragrance! 55 little wax hearts in a box. Perfect for giving and receiving. ❤️❤️❤️ All our wax melts are made with eco friendly soya wax. Biodegradable and if you return the pots from the pop shot wax melts, I can refill them. . #ecosoyawax #biodegradable #vegans #vegan #homefragrance #homemade #hull #reuse #recycle #hull #monkeyfarts #homescents #ecofriendly #soyawax @trinitymarkethull #soyawaxmelts #handmade #smelly #sweet #fruity https://www.instagram.com/p/BtAg0QNns1C/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9106nhi0q0r4

[sarajune10-blog]

Love this custom box going out today!! 🐵🙈🙉 #woodburning #giftsforhim #beardoil #beercoaster #mensgifts #beardsoap #beardgifts #giftsets #monkeyfarts #woodburn #christmasgiftsideas ##facesoap #beardcomb (at Orangevale, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo5N3mAA97i/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fe0jjliuljzm

[threesudsybubs]

Now until tomorrow (Wednesday, 9/25) at 11:59pm CDT all our Glycerin Soap is on sale for 10% off!! Use code 10soap at checkout . Grab yourself a bar or two or more!! 🛀🏻 🛀🏻 #soapsale #glycerinsoap #loofahsoap #monkeyfarts #pumpkinbrulee #nightmareonelkstreet #crandelacran #blackno1 #serenade #almostpearadise #thisishalloween #islandspice #barista #elkriversoapcompany #ERSC #handmadesoap #workathomemom #stayathomemom #autismmom #autismadventure #boymom #boymomx3 #boymomlife #specialneedsparentrunbusiness #alamosacolorado #sanluisvalleycolorado #threesudsybubs (at Alamosa, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoKKSjGH9Ur/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c6w8055ta1hl

[blackunicornwood]

Toy surprise bath bombs, hand painted by yours truly! These are scented with Monkey Farts (a blend of banana and other tropical fruits), and each one has a toy surprise inside! #handmadebathbombs #monkeyfarts #toysurprise #surprisebathbomb #handpaintedbathbombs #surprisebathbombs #bathbombwithtoy #blackunicornwood #jobnothobby https://www.instagram.com/p/CRbc8L9H4qc/?utm_medium=tumblr

[jessicaw-ismellcakesandcandy]

#fruitfilled #monkeyfarts #shopnow @ismellcakesandcandy #smallbusiness #bathtime #buylocal #freeshipping #linkinbio (at Albany, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_wDLDyHXaR/?igshid=81qo9g6327an

[fabpineapplesstuff-blog]

Gifts for humans! New wax melts up on the site soon 😁💖 Parma Violet Baby Powder Monkey Farts! All of our packaging is biodegradable and can go straight into your compost bin 🌍💚 #waxtartsaddict #waxmelting #waxmelt #waxtarts #waxmelts #waxmeltsaddict #parmaviolets #monkeyfarts #babypowder #fabpineapple #pineapplepets #vegan #biodegradable (at Fab Pineapple - Pineapple Pets) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9XVAubnwAl/?igshid=5f66lqkeau6k

[blackdollette]

As a Lana girl i biblically need Euronymous(Rory’s so meowww) because I’m trying to live my brooklyn baby fantasy so can you write something about us backstage of a show smut fluff idc but give us Brooklyn baby vibes specifically my boyfriends pretty cool but he’s not as cool as me i will actually die while reading this🙏🙏🙏🙏 also your stuff is AMAZING<3

thank you for the request!!!

"my boyfriend's in a band." | euronymous

brooklyn baby. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @livingdead-reilly @oliviah-25 @lankysimp@auggiethecreator @livingdead-materialgirl @monkeyfart@imoonkiss @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @mommymilkers0526 @greenxgloss @wild-rose-35

⊹₊⋆ pairing: r!euronymous x female!reader

⊹₊⋆ word count: 562

⊹₊⋆ contents: porn without plot.

“...did you see me out there, baby..? did you like the show…?”

euronymous’ curled fingers dug deeper into your open mouth, your thick saliva bubbling down his calloused fingers and bangled wrist. the answer to his question went unspoken, but your moans and whimpers told him all he needed to know.

“t-they fuckin’ loved me, angel… and i was playing just for you…”

you writhed underneath his toned body, the backstage couch becoming saturated with your spit and tears. his hand had a firm, rough grip on your hip, kneading the soft skin of your ass as his throbbing cock worked on your sopping pussy. he slipped his fingers out of your mouth, leaving a wet trail behind as they wandered down to your puffy clit. you hissed at the contact, raspy chokes and sobs escaping your throat. he rubbed sloppy, wet circles onto you, his thrusts only picking up the pace as he brought his lips to the entrance of your ear.

“can’t be too loud, baby. i’d be a shame if we got caught, wouldn’t it..?”

your hand found the back of his head, grabbing it with all the force you could muster before pulling him into a messy kiss. he fed his deep groans into your mouth, the vibrations travelling through your veins. your tongues swirled together, dancing a sinful choreography as the tip of his leaky cock hit you in the cervix. you jumped, your heart racing as he poked at your sweet spot. 

“...is that the spot, baby..? yeah..? c’mon, i wanna hear you scream… i want all those fuckers to know that you’re all mine.”

the brutal abuse on your hole only escalated from there. he fed on your squeaks and mewls like a starved beast, toying with your pussy consistently. occasionally, he’d even chuckle at the audible noises of your wetness. it was music to his ears.

he paused his vigorous motions momentarily, taking a second to pick you up from your position. he sat down on the sodden couch, placing your naked body on his lap. you raised an eyebrow, confusion written all across your mascara stained face. 

“i wanna see your pretty face when you cum, angel.”

he muttered, giving his cock a few lazy pumps before slipping it back into your tight entrance. he tossed his head back and groaned lowly as your tight walls squeezed him once again. he wasted no time beginning to buck his hips up into yours, his fingers leaving crescent-shaped imprints on your ass.

you bit your lip in a failed attempt to suppress all the moans that threatened to break free. this was it. you felt your guts contorting around his rod, your heartbeat syncing with his rapid thrusts. your hands found his shoulders, digging them into his pale flesh as you exclaimed.

“euro..! i-i can’t!”

your words tore through the paper thin walls. he buried his face into your neck, biting the tender flesh softly as the orgasm came over you like a freight train. a waterfall of fluid exited your gushing hole at a million miles a minute. it was no use holding back anymore. you scream out, your hole milking him for everything he had as lewd noises echoed in the room.

no matter how well euronymous played on staged, it was nothing compared to the show he had in here with you.

author's note:

[saltedrockbathco]

Jungle Breeze sugar whipped soap has been restocked! These smell amazing, guys! Seriously, so so good! Lather up with a tropical blend of fresh banana, sweet grapefruit, mandarin orange, kiwi, coconut cream, pink raspberries, strawberries and apples. Pair with Jungle Breeze bath bombs, wax melts and artisan soap (restock date : May 16th). #sugarwhippedsoap #whippedsoap #smallbatch #junglebreeze #tropical #banana #strawberry #coconut #bathtime #bathandbody #monkeyfarts #beauty #skincare #vegan #parabenfree #cleanser #soap #sugarscrub #bodyscrub #bodypolish #exfoliate #moisturizer #madeinmichigan #saltedrockbathco https://www.instagram.com/p/B_apxQ3DyMv/?igshid=1virwobvxq090

[naturallymeandyou]

Finally back in stock y’all!! #monkeyfarts . It’s a blend of Fresh banana blended with sweet grapefruit, mandarin orange, kiwi, coconut cream, pink raspberries, strawberries and apples 🍎 and a hint of vanilla. This one sells out quick. #pardonaturals #getyousum #soap #handcrafted #hotprocess #monkeyfartsoap https://www.instagram.com/p/B7l9upfpvwL/?igshid=t722sl7tvwqn

[soapfromtheheart-hull]

No monkeys were harmed while collecting this fragrance! All our wax melts are made with eco friendly soya wax. Biodegradable and if you return the pots I can refill them. . #ecosoyawax #biodegradable #vegans #vegan #homefragrance #homemade #hull #reuse #recycle #hull #monkeyfarts #homescents #ecofriendly #soyawax #soyawaxmelts #handmade #smelly #sweet #fruity @trinitymarkethull https://www.instagram.com/p/BtAgCrEHh3t/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p16ym366vf5d

[mystic-mother-gaia-wellness-blog]

Who doesn’t love Money Farts!? 🐒 . This unique fragrance begins with top notes of fresh bananas and juicy grapefruit, middle notes of kiwi, juicy bubblegum, and strawberries; and a hint of vanilla as a base note.🍌🥝🍓 . Click link in BIO to shop all our amazing unique fragrances.🖱️ . . #cozycandles #monkeyfarts #cozycandlesambassador #cozyliving #livecozy #soywaxcandles https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz0Dx2BnXot/?igshid=1jv5fp76waua9

[threesudsybubs]

Guys, one the Three Sudsy Bubs' favorite scents is back after a brief hiatus. Monkey Farts Shampoo and Conditioner Bars are BACK!! And even neater? They are made with gentler ingredients (yes, that is possible in the ERSC world, who knew, I even didn't know. We use gentle ingredients already) so they are kid and sensitive skin friendly. Plus they just smell fun!! (The new kid friendly formula also comes in Galaxy Grape!) 🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒 Side note: my new bathroom makes for an amazing backdrop on product shots!! I'm so in 😍😍😍😍😍 with all the pictures I took. 🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒🍌🍓🥝🐒 #handmadeshampoobar #handmadeconditionerbar #monkeyfarts #kidfriendlyformula #kidfriendlyscents #elkriversoapcompany #ERSC #handmadebathproducts #handmadebodyproducts #workathomemom #workingmom #spedparalife #spedpara #spedparaprofessional #ELLpara #ELLparaprofessional #ELLparalife #boymom #boymomx3 #boymomlife #autismmom #autismmomx2 #autismmomlife #autismadventure #specialneedsparentrunbusiness #alamosacolorado #sanluisvalleycolorado #threesudsybubs (at Alamosa, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1lvqmhgAac/?igshid=kz5ku536abpa

[thisbewhoitbe]

https://bwordproductions.com/cozy/2250

Cozy candles is having a sale on their spring collection!