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mrskodzuken · 3 years

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pairing: Kozume Kenma x f!reader

genre: SOFT. AND. PURE. FLUFF.

wc: 975

warnings: alcohol, some product placement ads (lol; not sponsored by Tanduay and Sprite), slightly suggestive cheverlu (c/o the English translation to APO Hiking Society's "Yakap sa Dilim"), Kenma being so sweet to his s/o, a bit ooc-ish?

note: this fic was inspired by my last week's *coughs* spicy *coughs* interaction with my second visiting (fifth overall smh) Kenma anon here on my blog. Then the song "Yakap sa Dilim", originally sung by APO Hiking Society, came into my mind because it's so damn seggsy tbh *fidget fidget* At first, I thought of doing a bit smutty fic to complement the song but... siiigh, I'm still nowhere as good as by the likes of my other moots who write smut almost on a daily, weekly basis. Plus I have a good, if not great, imagination when it comes to writing fluff, so... ^^;;

another note: that part about Y/N mixing her alcoholic drink with clear soda and experiencing full-blown redness and itchiness from head to toe while drinking was based on my experience drinking alcohol straight away. And no, I'm not always drinking on a regular basis, just whenever there are family get-togethers and like New Year's Eve parties.

another ANOTHER note: this is my first entry for @lumpiang-toge 's Piliin Mo Ang Pilipinas server collab event. Huuuuuuge thank you for beta-ing this @/lumpiang-toge @love-amihan @imo-chan-imagines @kousukii @manjirosday @abuliawrites I LOVE YOU ALL MWAH <3 *headpats*

see also: listen to the original version of "Yakap sa Dilim" by APO Hiking Society here-

[00:45 am]

——— 💙💖

"...and that's all for tonight's streaming! Make sure to follow me on all my social networking sites, they're on the description below! Well then, this has been your favorite gamer cat boy Kodzuken, logging out!"

Kenma then removes his headset and closes his stream, stretching and yawning a bit in his gaming chair, before standing up and heading towards his and your shared (bed)room.

"Y/N~ Y/N, are you still awake? Y/N-" he opens the door to your room, only to find it silently empty.

Hmm... where did she go? Kenma then searches the kitchen. "Y/N?" And the bathroom. "Where are you?"

He taps on his phone and checks his contact list for a possibility of you being online at the moment. And sighs. Nothing.

"Y/N! Y/N-chan, where are you?"

"Kitten, I'm on the back porch!"

Kenma finds you sitting on the porch, chin up, your eyes watching the numerous stars twinkling, shining, across the wide clear night sky, and smiling.

"I just finished my stream earlier and was checking up if you're awake or not but-" He sits in beside you and snuggles a bit but then notices a slight flush in your cheeks, and spies your hands cradling a glass of familiar reddish liquid. Beside you stands a half-empty bottle of Tanduay Ice, its opened bottle cap sitting askew on the lips.

"How long have you been drinking, Y/N? And straight-up drinking a bottle of Tanduay Ice Red Mirage?"

You turn your slightly flushed face at Kenma, a goofy smile escaping your lips, and raise your glass. "Not about half an hour ago, and don't worry about me getting all red and itchy all over my body from too much drinking! I mix it up with some Sprite to lessen the alcohol intake!" You fish out a 2L bottle of Sprite, also half-empty, on the ground, to prove your point.

Kenma sighs exasperatedly and smiles back at you. Lovely and stubborn you, who isn't the type to back down from an argument and stuff.

Shit.

You gently place your drink on the wooden floor and suddenly stand up and walk. "Ah, you want something to drink? I can get you some can of beer if you-!"

You feel the grip on your wrist as he grab your hand before you go inside, and look at him.

"Kenma-"

"Please stay."

Kenma then brings your hand near his face and tenderly kisses your palm, looking you in the eye, the action making you more flushed but not because of alcohol. He smiles at you again.

"I love you, Y/N."

Steam runs off your ears, your face a full-blown tomato face. "I-I-I love you, too, Kenma!"

The former Nekoma high school volleyball setter and now-YouTuber can't help but softly chuckle. Kenma can't really resist teasing and making you blush.

Because he finds it very cute. And endearing.

He hangs his head down a bit. "Sorry... I forgot about our date earlier.”

"Eh? W-why are you saying sorry...? I should have known you'd have a busy day yesterday! Two 4-hour streams, company Zoom meetings, a date with Kuroo-san in the office-"

"-it's a meeting with the Japan Volleyball Association for an upcoming proposal, stop calling it a 'date'!"

Your boyfriend then pulls you closer and wraps his arms around your waist, his head being buried on your chest. You could hear his muffled sigh and voice from within while he speaks.

"I'm such a terrible boyfriend to you, kitten. How can I make it up to you?" While looking at you, pout on his lips, his golden cat orbs a puppy-like glance at your face.

A look that sends your heart aching with cuteness.

"Hmm..." You pull away from Kenma's embrace and grab your phone to scroll and tap on something. A smile creeps across your face as you place your phone back from where you got it earlier.

The first few notes of your favorite song start to play in the background. You offer your hand at a slightly confused Kenma.

"Would the great Kodzuken care to dance with me?"

Hoping that you lay your head on the pillow

Your body, I'll cover like a blanket.

Problems you will forget

As long as we embrace in the dark

He accepts it, grinning, and finds himself swaying his body alongside you, your hands around his neck, his hands perching on your waist.

Don't stop if you feel like you have to cry unexpectedly

Hoping what you feel is relaxation

If you want, we can take a cigarette first

Before we embrace in the dark

"I'm so lucky I have met you, Y/N. I really am~" He places a kiss on your forehead before nuzzling your cheek, his nose wrinkling a bit. "You still smell of Tanduay Ice, kitten. Hope you won't experience an incoming hangover later."

"Kenma!!! I won't, silly! And I'm also lucky that I'm here, cuddling with you, dancing... it makes me happy!" You kiss his cheek and hug him closer.

This is something that we have been waiting for

We're right at this moment embracing in the dark

Oh, the satisfaction from the quick, stolen moments

While we embrace in the dark

"I love you, Y/N..."

"I love you more, Kenma..."

Come on and lie down by me in bed

Let's savor the good times together

To our love that we hope for

While we embrace in the dark

As the song ends, you find yourself yawning, sleepy. He notices this.

Kenma kisses your forehead again, snuggling you at his side. He yawns also. "Maybe we should go to bed now, kitten. It's getting late."

"And we can cuddle while we sleep?"

"Mhmm~ yes, we can! C'mon... but first, let's brush your teeth and get rid of that alcohol smell..."

"Kenma!!!!"

DO NOT REPOST/EDIT WITHOUT PERMISSION. PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME, KIDS. LIKES ESPECIALLY REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. ALL WORKS © angrymongol01/kirakirasaku - 2021.

My Masterlist

#🇵🇭 — piliin mo ako #tw alcohol #kozume kenma #kenma #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu filo #haikyuu filipino #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x f!reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma x reader #kenma fluff #kenma drabble #kenma imagine #🐱saku.fic

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subvk · 3 years

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HELLO EVERYONE! not only did we welcome the new year with open arms, but we are also celebrating the welcoming of 2,000 lovely birdies on this blog!

from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your never ending support for me. life never gets any easier, but you guys have provided me the love, motivation, and emotional support during this turbulent period of my life. whether you found me through another blog, through my fics, circulating on your dash etc, I will always be grateful that you’ve decided to come along with me on my journey to discovering myself.

let’s treat the new year with kindness and positivity, and hope for the best that after the year we’ve had, it will only go up from here.

take care and stay healthy, lovelies!

— with love, Juno.

🤍 and now, for my mutual appreciation! (under the cut because I tend to ramble)

[ a-g ]

[ h-k ]

[ l-p ]

[ q-z ]

ps. if you have an emoji beside your name, scroll down for a little message from me to you!

🌸 - we’ve personally never talked before, but I always enjoy seeing you on my dash whether it’s your interaction with other moots, reblogging of content, or posting content of your own! I have always wanted to hit you up but as a mere shy bean I never got to. either way, I’d love to sit and chat with you one day~

🌺 - regardless if we’ve talked a storm or only sent a handful of messages back and forth, you hold a special place in my heart and I hope 2021 treats you well. even though I’m hecking terrible at responding or keeping in touch, I love and appreciate your friendship and I hope we can talk more!

🌷 - you’re one of the people I consider my closest friends and for that, I’m eternally grateful to have met you in this lifetime. even when I don’t have much to offer and am terrible at showing my appreciation, you have made an impact in my life and have made things more bearable to say the least. thank you for being my endless support system and I love you very much!

💐 a note for you, from juno.

[to @guktro]: oh gray! we met through bhq and our love for animal crossing (it seems like I don’t love it all that much though because I haven’t touched my game since July 🤡). you’ve gone through so much this year and I will never shut up about how I admire you for staying strong and holding your ground. even though we talk once in a blue moon, you inspire me greatly. I love you and you deserve the world and more.

[to @inkedtae]: my buzzing bee! we actually haven’t talked all that much but you’re such a wonderful being inside and out. we’ve talked a handful of times in the dms but I really love your humor and how you handle situations so maturely. there are times where I feel like we’re the same person LOL. but either way, I’m ecstatic to run Bangtan Sorciere alongside you and I hope this new year brings us closer together. love you, bubbie.

[to @jamaisjoons]: QUEEN SOL 😠 when I first messaged you, I was so intimidated (not because of you, but because you’re one of my favorite fic writers and you were 🔝👸 big joon dick energy while I was 🧍🏻‍♀️🤡 stoopid LOL. I never thought I’d meet a fellow clown (but wbk I’m genuinely the bigger clown out of the two of us). and now that I’m ~going through it~ my heart bursts of even more love and appreciation for you because you’ve been there for me through it all! I can trust you with just about anything at this point. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my support system. I love you so much.

[to @moominyg]: keldaaa my gal!!! in terms of BTS we’re two polar opposites and I will never forget the countless times where you had to send me to 🅱️orny jail whenever we would send each other gif sets of the boys lmao. we’ve known each other for a short time but I’m happy to have become friends and gotten to know you!! it’s always fun talking to you whether it’s about the boys, about life being a dingus, or just wishing each other well in general dkfjf. also if you’re ever going back to New York, my trip there is in the works and as soon as miss rona calms down, mayhaps we could meet?? love you, girlie!

[to @sketchguk]: TWINNIE. oh my gosh we’ve gone through so much together, and to this day it’s unbelievable how you’re even real with all this love and friendship you’ve given me 😭 honestly, you’re one of my best friends and talking to you instantly brightens up my day. I love your energy and you’re truly one of a kind. I can’t believe miss rona is keeping us apart 😠😑 but until I can fly over to NY, I’m hugging the shit out of Cooky pls he’s so soft like you. I love you so much and I hope the new year treats you well!

[to @wushrooms]: rheya my og queen! you were one of the first people I met on here and we’ve gone through so much (and so many blogs of yours skdjdk) and I miss the days of us running a network together ;-; and sprinting together ;-; and thirsting over the boys together ;-; but I’m really happy you’re still writing! you’re an amazing writer and I can only wish to have half the creativity and aesthetic that you do. sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch, but I still love you a lot!

[to @yeoldontknow]: kat!! bet you weren’t expecting this, huh 🤪 I don’t think we’ve ever talked personally but we do run a network together (gosh it’s crazy that I’m even saying this now that Bangtan Sorciere has been established now djdkdk), and honestly you’re one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. when you drew that first tarot card for me, I actually got emotional because of how scary accurate it was and definitely not also because I came out of a horrible day at work that day. truly, thank you so much for your kindness even though we’ve known each other for a short time. I love you and I hope we can talk more this year!

#milestones #second time posting this smh #i hope the tags work #tumblr dumblr don't be a party pooper

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secret-engima · 5 years

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Snippet of Storm-Touched

(oh look, here I am with yet another WIP. This was inspired/descended of the HCs that ran away with me from a prompt called Star Wars dumb thought by @bunny-loverxiv. Anywho, I made a comment about Obi-Sith fitting the prompt at which point @north-peach dropped in with muse fuel and the rest spiraled into out of control history. Thus- this in progress fic, which is no longer Obi-Sith but still severely AU in which I take thirteen year old Obi-Wan, have him run away from the Order because he hates the thought of Agricorps that much, and yeet him headfirst into rewriting destiny via the Force, Mandalorians, and Obi-Wan Luck. Also he has what is basically a Force Fae/Kitsune/Entity for a teacher. Because Why Not™. Tagging @wolfsrainrules and @ravensilversea because this was partly the fault of Wolf’s wife and ravensilversea was interested in the HC version of this when I was doing that.)

The claw-tipped fingers stopped just short of his clothes and she considered him with a heavy gaze. She dropped her hands with a huff, “Well. I suppose. You are strong in the Force, you just have no idea what to do with that connection do you?” She refolded her lower arms into her drooping sleeves, “Minor precognition?”

Obi-Wan swallowed hard, nodded, “Yes. The … the instructors reminded me often to keep my mind of the present rather than letting it wander to the changing future.” Her face twisted briefly and now he was certain her eyes could change color, going from soft blue to blazing molten gold as the Force around them shivered with her anger before her expression settled and it was gone, “Yes,” she growled softly, “that sounds like them.” She shook her head, circled him with small, rapid steps, came to a stop in front of him again and nodded shortly, “Alright. I will teach you.”

Obi-Wan’s heart jumped at the long-desired words, then dropped with dread —he didn’t even know this woman’s name—. She wasn’t finished speaking either. With a click of her tongue, she held up two fingers, “Two years. I will train you for two years, everything I know and everything you are capable of learning. But,” she added before Obi-Wan could say yes or no, “there will be a test. By the end of those two years, you must be able to tell me my true name. Will that be acceptable?”

Obi-Wan looked over at Stars, the Wookiee dithered for a moment before rumbling, “The choice is yours, Little Soot. If you are afraid, we can leave and I will find you another teacher. But … she is the best. You will learn more from her in two years than you will learn from anyone else in a lifetime.”

Obi-Wan wavered, glanced from the ship to the strange, alien planet around them and the nameless stranger he didn’t even know —who planned to test him by speaking her name when that didn’t relate to Force training at all as far as Obi-Wan could see—. Fear said to leave. Fear said to turn away and look for another teacher. Curiosity said to stay, learn and test himself against this woman Stars had chosen first and foremost from whatever list of potential teachers she had.

Hope already clutched the woman’s words close —that he had potential, that she would teach him even when she didn’t yet know his name either— and thought of potential. Of new beginnings and strength and the ability to be free, finally free of the shadow of failure and disappointment and heartbreak that had followed him since fleeing Bandomeer.

The Force whispered in the shell of his ear, for once so clear he could almost hear it in words. A flash of precognition stronger than anything he’d ever had outside of nightmares and meditation sessions in the temple as a small child. He blinked and saw himself, strong and calm, an adult that didn’t cower from anyone, didn’t hunch his shoulders in shame but instead danced through battle like the wind was his wings. He inhaled and tasted contentment so deep it felt like sunshine inside his bones. He listened, and in the space between times and spaces and lives he heard-.

“My name is Obi-Wan, and I am not afraid of you.”

He exhaled and the world settled back into place. Blue eyes watched him in triumph, like she already knew his answer before he bowed low and said, “I would be honored to learn from you, for however long you see fit, Master.”

In the corner of his eye, Stars slumped just a bit —from disappointment or relief he couldn’t tell—. The woman who was now his teacher smiled, all fangs and satisfaction and danger, “Good. You may call me Noht-Ty, small one, not ‘master’ or any other nonsense title. I will be interested to see how far you can progress in two years.”

Obi-Wan was never sure, afterward, what happened next. He thought that Noht-Ty must have insisted Stars leave, just as Stars had feared, because he remembered being hauled off his feet by a tight Wookiee hug and hearing her promise to come back, two years to the day, but everything other than that hug was … vague. Distant and blurred in his memory until the ship was gone and Obi-Wan had been left on a planet with no name and a woman who was to be his teacher.

It was night when his senses —memory— came back to him. Huddled in his sleeping bag, staring up at the sky and the twin moons shining down from it. Noht-Ty sensed his returned attention from where she sat meditating, heedless of the cold air and the strange animal calls —Obi-Wan had never slept in a wilderness before, had only ever been to Coruscant and port towns and populated places—, “Small one.”

“Yes, m- Noht-Ty?”

She opened her eyes again and under the light of the twin moons he could see their gold sheen, intense and unreadable, “Since I am to be your teacher, will you give me your name, small one?”

Obi-Wan did not think on the odd phrasing of that request at the time, riding too high on adrenaline as he was.

Years later, Obi-Wan never did give his name away when asked by others, no matter who they were.

He only had to learn that lesson once.

But that was a lesson not yet learned, and so he guilelessly opened his mouth and answered, “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Fangs gleamed white under the light of the moons as something in the Force jolted all around him, paralyzed him in place and ripped something clear of his very self in a way that he hadn’t known could be touched or taken. “Obi-Wan Kenobi,” she hummed, and somehow his name from her lips felt like someone taking possession of a new and rare prize rather than a greeting, “Interesting.”

Obi-Wan sat up sharply, breathing ragged from the feeling, “W-what- what did you just do?”

“I took what you gave to me,” she hummed easily, “if you did not want to give it away, you should have said so. But that is a moot point, I take the names of all my students. Should you pass my test at the end of two years and return to me my name, then I shall give you yours.”

Obi-Wan gaped, closed his mouth, choked out, “Noht-Ty isn’t your name?”

An officious tail-twitch, “No. I said that you may call me Noht-Ty, I never said it was my actual name. My name was lost to me long ago, and you will find it for me and give it back.”

Suddenly very cold and hyper aware that he was alone with this stranger, Obi-Wan whispered, “What happens if I can’t find it for you?”

Gold eyes watched him with something akin to amusement, “Then I keep your name, and the life that is tied to it.”

Obi-Wan scrambled out of his sleeping bag altogether, stood braced to run even though there was nowhere to run to, “You’re going to kill me?”

A calm ear flick, “Only if you fail. Was that not obvious when I first told you my terms?”

“No! No, it wasn’t!”

Her gaze cooled, “If you did not know my price, why did you agree to pay it?” Obi-Wan stood speechless and Noht-Ty shook her head, “Lesson one, Obi-Wan Kenobi, there is always a price. Every choice, every action, no matter how outwardly small or large, comes with a price. That price might be time, or energy, it might be as small as a good night’s sleep. Or it might be as heavy as your life, the life of a family, a city, a planet, a star-system.”

She raised her gaze again and soft blue looked at him with something like pity in her eyes, “Always make sure that the price for your actions is something you are willing to pay before you make your choice.”

#Melodies and Manuscripts #star wars #star wars au #obi-wan kenobi #mandalorian obi wan #in the future anyway #Obi-Sith AU #sorta

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canadiankazz · 5 years

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The Fifteenth Time AKA: Rest in Peace - An L.A. by Night Fanfic

Jasper takes Annabelle to his grave and they discover something distressing there.

This fic is part of an AU series where Jasper has been feeding from Annabelle and they now have a Blood Bond and a slow burn romantic relationship. It’s obviously worth reading the rest of the "Feeds From" series before this part.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1, the one-shots, and up to and including Episode 7 of Season 2. This was written before the author saw Episode 8 of Season 2.

Episode 7 of Season 2 "Red Flags," had a lot of talk about graves, what with over half the episode taking place in a cemetery. That got me thinking about Jasper's grave and how it might be interesting to see that. I was also thinking about Chloe's investigative arc in season 2 and what she might do if he were upset and obsessive enough.

As always, I lay no claim to owning any of the characters involved, and my eternal thanks to everyone who has read and enjoyed my fic. Thanks to @cravatfiend and @gokaiyellow for editing, inspiration, and encouraging me to write "fee fees."

Also posted to the author’s Ao3.

First posted March 29, 2019.

The Fifteenth Time Jasper Fed From Annabelle (AKA: Rest in Peace)

“I have something I want to show you.”

Annabelle had noticed that Jasper had been very quiet this evening, more so than perhaps usual. “Sure,” she said. “What is it?”

He licked his fangs in nervous habit. “It's um... my grave.”

Annabelle's eyebrows rose. It was certainly not something she had expected him to say. She knew that his death had been faked. Well, 'faked' was the wrong word. Jasper was dead, there was no denying that, but he was still walking and talking and very much not in his grave. Neither she, nor the others in their coterie were listed in any kind of official records as having died, save for Jasper.

“Oh, um, sure, if you'd like. Um... why?” Annabelle inquired.

Jasper shrugged. He seemed very downcast. He had a lot on his mind and most of it wasn't good. “I don't know,” he said quietly. “I've been doing a lot of thinking. I just... well, you've been wanting to know more about me, and there is a lot that I still don't want to tell you, but I think this is something I can share with you... if you'd like.”

Annabelle nodded. “Sure, Jasper. Is it... are we coming up to an anniversary?”

He knew what type of anniversary she meant. He shook his head. “No. I died in November.”

November was still many months away from when they were at now, but Annabelle realised that she had known him while the anniversary of his death had come and gone and he hadn't said anything about it. Well, why would he have? Especially because he hadn't known her that well back then.

“Should I bring anything? Do you want me to leave flowers?” Annabelle asked with a tiny hint of humour.

Jasper shook his head again. “No, it's fine.”

“Right, well, I can always just give you flowers. You like roses, right?” she smiled at him and, despite himself, he smiled back, just a tiny bit.

“I know you like pink ones,” he said, remembering Eva's gift to her. “If you ever get a grave, I'll leave some for you.”

“Aww. That's sweet. Morbid, but sweet.”

“Annabelle, I'm taking you to see my grave,” he reminded her. “'Morbid' is a little moot at this point.”

Jasper led Annabelle to a small cemetery in eastern L.A. The gate was locked, but Jasper had no intention of going in that way anyway. He took Annabelle around the side, over by some tall trees that provided some shade for the graves and the people who visited them. The trees also provided some cover for stealth. The fence was twelve feet tall and topped with spikes to deter people breaking in at night. It would not deter Jasper though.

Annabelle eyed the spikes with a little nervousness. “Are we going to climb over?”

“No,” Jasper said, judging the height and distance and making mental calculations. “I'm going to jump.”

“I can't jump that high.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm going to jump. I'll carry you.”

Jasper crouched down, presenting his back to Annabelle. She smiled and climbed on. He held her, piggy-back style, his arms and hands supporting her legs as she clung to his neck and shoulders.

“Don't drop me, please,” she said, trying not to sound nervous. She could take a basic fall, but she didn't like the look of those spikes at the top of the fence. Annabelle figured she could survive the impalement, but it would be very painful.

Jasper smiled over his shoulder at her. “I’d never drop you. Never.”

Annabelle felt his muscles tense in preparation for the soaring leap. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. Jasper leapt, clearing the height easily and landing quietly on the well-manicured lawn on the other side. Annabelle giggled softly despite herself.

“That was kind of fun,” she whispered.

Jasper knelt to let her down. “Well, we'll have to do it again to get out. Now... we'll have to be quiet. There might be a security guard, but I doubt it.”

Annabelle nodded. “Okay.”

Jasper lead the way again. He had only been here once before, not long after his embrace, but he remembered the way. One of the other Nosferatu had taken him here when they told him that he had been interred – or at least, that an empty coffin had been buried and a headstone with his name on it was in place. His grave was towards the back and off to the side, away from heavy traffic. Annabelle tried not to think of it as a 'forgotten' corner of the cemetery, but it sure seemed that way. They approached it from behind, unable to read any of the names on the stones unless they looked back behind them. For the sake of making sure Annabelle didn't lose him in the dark, Jasper did not activate Obfuscate, but he did move silently. Annabelle tiptoed, almost as quiet as he was.

Jasper's headstone was a small, simple curve of dark granite. They came around a corner and there it was. There was no flowery epithet, no Bible quotes, not even a “Beloved Son,” just his name and two years sandblasted into the smooth, dark grey stone.

Jasper Heartwood 1989 – 2013

Annabelle didn't know what her reaction was going to be upon seeing it. She was struck by a wave of sadness. It was a simple, inexpensive grave. Not that having a big, fancy tomb would have meant he was any less loved in life, but there was something about it that was still monumentally heart breaking. Annabelle used the light from her phone to read the inscription clearly. She reached out to touch the stone, but hesitated. She glanced back at Jasper, as if for permission.

Jasper was standing back, not as close to the grave as Annabelle was. His face was a blank, unreadable mask. He did not like being here. He did not need any reminders of his current circumstance or what he had lost, but it was still, in an odd way, a part of him. He was sharing his existence with Annabelle at the moment. He wanted her to see this, and he wanted to be here when she did, and so here he was.

“May I?” she asked.

He shrugged, genuinely not caring if she touched it or not, but there was something still nice about her asking permission. “Sure.”

Annabelle traced the letters of his name with her fingers. She could feel tears prickle her eyes and wiped them on her sleeve. “I'm surprised it doesn't say more. Why doesn't it say 'rest in peace'?”

“I don't know. I didn't pick it,” Jasper said, “and whoever did obviously didn't have much to say about me. To be fair though, I'm not resting in peace.”

Annabelle sniffled and chuckled. “That's true.” She was quiet for another moment, thinking. “I never knew you back when... we were alive, but... I'd like to think we would have been friends if we did.”

“Maybe,” he said softly. He sounded like he doubted it. He and Annabelle had run in very different social circles at college.

Annabelle frowned, spotting something odd on the surface of the granite. She increased the brightness of her phone light slightly and brought it a little closer to the stone. There was a reddish mark that was only just visible. It wasn’t blood. The shade of red was too bright.

“What is it?” Jasper asked.

“It looks almost like... there was paint or something on it, but it was washed off? You can still see it faintly. Look,” Annabelle pointed and Jasper stepped forward, squinting critically at the bright light. “Could have been... letters?”

Jasper snarled softly in irritation. Had someone actually defaced his grave? It made him more angry than he thought it would.

Annabelle traced the very faint red marks on the stone where the paint had been washed off. It did seem to have been letters; four letters, in fact, and underlined:

F A K E

“'Fake'?” Annabelle read out loud. She looked at Jasper, confused. “Why would anyone spray paint 'fake' on your grave?” Her eyes went wide with dreadful realisation. “Do you think someone knows that you're not, you know... buried here?”

Jasper bared his teeth and swore. “Shit...”

“You told me that you had written a note...” Annabelle said slowly in dawning horror, “to someone who thought you were dead. Was it your girlfriend?”

“Yes,” he hissed.

“Would she do something like this?” Annabelle gestured back to the grave.

His first instinct was so say no, but then he remembered what Chloe could be like when she was obsessed with something. She got very irritable and irrational until whatever problem she was working on was solved. That said, she wouldn't go so far as to deface a grave... would she? “I wouldn’t think so.”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“Before Thanksgiving. When I gave her... that note.”

“Who else...?” Annabelle wondered out loud. “Who else might know?”

“I don't know,” Jasper growled, angry. His mind raced. Maybe it was Chloe's friends? No... they weren't the types to do this either. His family? No. He hadn’t seen or heard from any of them since he had left for college. There were reasons why Chloe was the only mortal he had cared about for a long time after he became Kindred. He glanced around at the other graves. None of them appeared to have been marked like his had been. This had been a deliberate, targeted action.

Annabelle looked back at Jasper’s grave, sad and confused. “Well, someone seems to know, or thinks they know,” she sighed. “Maybe we can ask around? It might have made the news. Are any of the others painted on too?”

“No. Just mine,” Jasper said. He was worried now about Chloe. He had hoped that she would be even safer now that he wasn't involved in watching the college any more, but it looked like she was still getting herself into trouble chasing some clue about his death or disappearance. “Let's go. I need to make a phone call.”

Their walk back towards the fence was a lot faster than their one towards the grave had been. Once again, Jasper knelt and let Annabelle climb onto his back. He leapt over the fence and let her down safely on the other side. Jasper used the darkness of the trees to cover him while he dug out his phone and called Ramona. Annabelle stood nearby, fretting.

“Hey Jaaaaasper,” Ramona said in a teasing tone when she answered. “What's up? You want a threesome? Because I am not down.”

Jasper growled, really not in the mood for this. “Ramona, I need to ask you something. It's important and it's NOT about that.”

“Fine, but before you do, you owe Meg an apology.”

“I- what?” Jasper blinked, his train of thought derailed.

“Meg. The rat you yeeted across the park.” Jasper heard Ramona laugh to herself. “'Yeet,' I like that word. It's what the kids are saying these days instead of 'throw.' But seriously, you need to say sorry to her. She hurt her leg.”

Jasper clenched his jaw so hard his molars hurt. “Ramona -”

“I will answer any questions you want if you say sorry,” Ramona said. “Here, I'll hold her up to the phone so she can hear you... or do you want me to call Victor and tell him about everything Meg heard and saw in your gross little sex dungeon?”

Jasper closed his eyes, forcing himself to count to ten and willing his Beast to stop raging. Annabelle was watching him, her face lined with concern. She was wringing her hands.

Jasper ran his tongue slowly over his fangs, wishing now he had killed that rat back when he had caught it in his sanctum in the first place. “Fine, Ramona... put Meg on,” he said in a slow, falsely sweet voice.

Annabelle frowned, very confused. “Meg?” she whispered.

Jasper held up a finger to beg her patience. He could hear muffled scraping on the other end of the phone line and a chittering, like rodent teeth near the phone speaker. “I'm sorry,” he said through gritted teeth.

There was more scraping and rat squeaking on the other end, then Ramona's voice came back. “There, was that so hard? Now, what's up, Jasper?”

“Remember that person I asked you to keep an eye on when you took over watching Griffith College for us?”

“Yeah... why?”

“Do you know where she is right now?”

Ramona hesitated. “Uh...”

Jasper didn't like the sound of that. Once again, he had to force his Beast to keep calm.

“Actually, I haven't seen her for a few weeks,” Ramona confessed.

Jasper felt like his stomach had dropped out. If he were not already grey, he would have lost all colour in his skin.

“But the rat pack have!” Ramona said quickly. “The last time the rat pack saw her, she had gone to a police station and then went home again,” Ramona continued. “That was a few nights ago. I can make them look again?”

“Yes, please do,” Jasper snarled.

“Okay, on it. I'll text you when they find something.”

“Thanks,” he hissed. “And one more thing...”

“Yeah?”

“You wouldn’t be able to look into reports of anyone defacing graves at East Los Angeles Cemetery, would you?”

“Uh, sure,” Ramona said hesitantly. “I'll see if I can dig anything up.”

“Much appreciated.”

“Anything else?” Ramona asked, hoping that there was nothing.

“That's all for now,” Jasper said tightly.

“Okay. I'll text you later.”

“Good bye.” Jasper hung up and resisted the urge to crush the phone in his hand.

“Is everything okay? Who's Meg?” Annabelle asked.

“The rat I... threw,” Jasper was not going to say the slang for it. “The one that was spying on us. Ramona made me apologise to it.”

“Well, to be fair...”Annabelle started.

Jasper glared at her.

“Sorry, sorry,” Annabelle said, backtracking. “What did Ramona say?”

“Apparently,” Jasper sighed, “the rats saw her, my girlfriend, go to a police station recently. Ramona is going to text me when she knows more.”

“So... it could have been her who spray painted your grave.”

“Yeah, it could have been, especially if she were caught doing it.”

Annabelle reached out to hold his hand. He didn't pull away from her. She could feel his tension. No need for a Blood Bond to tell her what he was going through emotionally. She gave him a gentle squeeze, trying to be reassuring.

“Come on,” she said gently. “Let's go home.”

Jasper nodded. No use just standing here next to the cemetery all night. He let Annabelle lead him back to the street and they began their trip back towards his sanctum.

“Thank you... for showing me that. I'm sorry it upset you though,” Annabelle said softly.

“So long as she is fine, I'll be fine,” Jasper said.

Annabelle nodded.

They were quiet all the way back to the L.A. River and Jasper's front door. Ramona texted him just as they were opening it.

“She's alive. Got eyes on her. Will look into the grave thing tomorrow.”

Jasper sighed in relief as he read it.

“Is she okay?” Annabelle asked.

Jasper nodded, his worry starting to drain away. “Well, she's alive at least.”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Annabelle said. “I don't know if it was her who defaced your grave, but... if she thought that your death was fake because of that note and she was really upset about it, she might-”

“Look, I already know it was a stupid thing to write her that note!” he snapped, slamming the door shut behind them.

Annabelle looked startled at his outburst, then her face softened. “I'm sorry, Jasper,” she said quietly. “I can't judge you for writing that note. I would have done the same, you know that. I know you miss her. You've had it the hardest of all of us. It's not fair.”

He sighed again, calming down. “No... it's not fair at all.”

Annabelle touched his arm in sympathy and they headed into the sanctum itself.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked him when they got there.

“Not really, no,” Jasper replied.

“Okay. At least she's okay, right? Ramona will keep an eye on her.”

Jasper grunted softly, agreeing.

Annabelle was thinking, a plan forming in her head. “I want to do something nice for you, because this hasn't been the best night mood-wise.”

He side-eyed her as they came into his haven. “What are you planing?”

“Would you like a massage?” Annabelle offered.

Jasper's brow furrowed. It wasn’t quite what he was expecting her to say. “Sure, I guess?”

“You haven't had one in five years, I'm guessing.”

“That is correct.”

“Okay. Um... hoodie off, and get on the bed face-down.”

He smirked a tiny bit. Usually, he was the one asking Annabelle to take her clothes off. It also wasn’t that long ago when he would have protested getting any kind of nude around her, or around anyone, really. A lot had happened between now and then. Also, this was a direct order from his regnant, and his blood pulled at him to obey through their Bond.

Jasper stripped to the waist and stretched out on his stomach on the bed, his face pressed against a pillow and his arms folded under the pillow.

“I wish we had some body butter,” he heard Annabelle say as she took off her jacket and rolled up her sleeves. “But I guess we'll just go without this time. If you like it though, we can do this again. I used to rub Mark and Elle's backs all the time.”

Jasper closed his eyes with another soft grunt. He was non-committal at this point, but open to the possibility of future massages if this one went well. Annabelle turned on some of their battery-operated candles and put some gentle acoustic music playing on her phone to set the calm, semi-romantic mood she wanted.

Annabelle climbed onto the bed and contemplated Jasper's bare back. The black veins were like inter-lacing spider webs branching out from along his spine, which was fairly pronounced on his slim frame. She flexed her fingers and gently straddled his lean hips to get at the best angle. She decided to start with his upper back and shoulders and work her way down. She got to work, stroking and pressing and kneading his undead muscles. Jasper's skin was dry and a little coarse. Again, Annabelle wished for some kind of moisturiser, but didn't mention it. She was sure it probably wouldn’t work long on Nosferatu skin anyway. She grimaced a little but kept going. “How's that?”

Jasper had to be honest, it felt a lot better than he thought it would. “Good,” he growled softly.

“Good,” Annabelle smiled, pleased that her minor discomfort was worth it. She kept going, working her way down his spine. He snarled very quietly to himself. Annabelle pressed hard and Jasper seemed to like it. He winced, but it was in the pain of a good massage.

“I'm not... so optimistic to believe that you and I will be together forever,” Annabelle said softly as she worked on his lower back, using her thumbs to rub in slow circles. “I've learned that lesson the hard way, and… even though we could live forever, kind of, these are dangerous times. But... while we are together, Jasper, I want to try to give you as many nice memories as I can. I know that you've got lots of years of horrible ones, so... let's try to even that up a little bit.”

“You already have given me lots of good memories.” Jasper shifted and glanced back at her over his shoulder. He was struck by a sudden memory from when he was alive of Chloe rubbing his back just like this after a stressful exam. He told Annabelle what he had told Chloe then. “You're too good for me.”

“Aww. That's sweet but I don’t think it’s true that I’m too good for you.” Annabelle leaned forward and planted three soft little kisses along Jasper’s spine. “And do not start on your 'I've done bad things,' speech, not without at least telling me some of those bad things.”

Jasper shrugged. He wasn't going to tell Annabelle anything he didn't have to. He relaxed back to enjoy the end of the massage.

“Are you hungry?” she asked him after a few more minutes

“A little, but...”

“But... you're not really in the mood?” Annabelle guessed. She thought that was a shame. She had been looking forward to the potential of more sexy times, but clearly Jasper was not up for it tonight.

“Not really, no,” he confirmed.

“That's okay. We don't have to go all out with the Blush of Life and... the sex and all that every time. How about just a sip?”

Jasper's Beast snarled and whispered in his chest. It had been denied several times already this night. He relented. It was too hard sometimes to say no to both Annabelle and his Beast at the same time. “Just a sip,” he sighed.

“Okay,” Annabelle got up off of him and flexed her fingers again. “You want your hoodie?”

“Yes, please.”

Annabelle scooped it off the floor and passed it to Jasper. He sat up and pulled it on, but left the hood down and his head exposed.

“How does your back feel?” she asked.

Jasper gave her a little smile. “Good, thank you.” He flexed and twisted, making his spine, shoulders and neck crackle and pop. Annabelle winced.

“Doesn't that hurt when you do that?”

Jasper shook his head. “Nope.”

She eyed his bare head. “Um... do you like scalp massages?”

“I used to love them, but-”

“You haven't had one in five years,” Annabelle concluded. She adjusted the pillows and sat on the bed with her back against the wall. “Put your head in my lap.”

It was another direct order that he didn't deny. He lay back on the bed, face-up this time, with his head resting on Annabelle's thighs. He bent his knees up and crossed his hands over his stomach, getting comfortable. This was another thing Chloe used to do for him, back when he was alive and had short hair to fuzz. He remembered how it used to help him relax fall asleep when he was stressed.

Annabelle ran her fingernails gently over his hairless scalp. They made a faint scraping sound over his dead skin. She ignored it and massaged gently with her right hand, her other hand coming to rest over his chest. He watched their flickering shadows on the wall in the artificial candlelight. She watched his face, looking for signs of him relaxing and finding them. He was certainly no longer tense, but there was a lingering sadness and anxiety that was seeping through. She could see it in his cold, white-blue eyes. She knew that if they were in front of the rest of the coterie, he might have hidden that emotion, but in front of her in the privacy of his haven - their haven – he let it show.

Jasper's chest was perfectly still and lacking any signs of life, save for the very occasional deliberate sigh as he relaxed a little more. Eventually his eyes drifted closed. Apparently, he thought, some things just don’t change.

Annabelle thought for a moment that she may have put him to sleep, but when she swapped hands so that her left hand was rubbing his scalp instead, he shifted and stirred.

“Sleepy?” she asked.

“Not really,” he lied, his eyes still closed.

“There's still hours until dawn. Want to watch something? Or read?”

“We'll find something,” he mumbled.

“Sure. But first... your sip.”

Jasper cracked an eye open and looked up at her. She gave him a sly smile and showed him her free wrist. It had the bracelet he had made and given her around it.

“Yes?” Annabelle asked.

“Yes,” Jasper confirmed. He brought his hands up to hold her hand and arm in front of his face, making sure to keep her bracelet out of the way. She let him guide her wrist to his mouth. Annabelle prepared herself for the pain to come. Jasper opened his mouth and made a small, careful bite. Annabelle winced at the pain and and willed her Vitae forward. She didn't normally get to watch him feed, but she did this time. Scarlet blood dripped down and he caught it neatly with his tongue. He let her bleed freely for a few moments, then closed his lips around the wound and suckled gently. His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. That felt good and Annabelle sighed, stroking the top of his head with her other hand. Her stomach fluttered.

Jasper only fed for a few seconds before Annabelle felt him lick her wrist tenderly to close the wound. Her Beast grumbled its usual complaints about the loss of Vitae and she shushed it. She was helping Jasper and she felt good doing it. Annabelle bent her head down and placed an upside-down kiss gently on his forehead. Jasper let her wrist go free and looked up at her with a little smile.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “You taste good, as always.”

Annabelle stroked his cheek. “Thank you. It's an odd compliment, but a sweet one.”

“It's true though,” Jasper sighed, content.

“What do you want to do now? You want to watch something?”

“Sure, but I don't want to get up.”

She smiled. “Too comfy?”

“Yes,” he said with a light snarl.

Annabelle reached for her phone and turned off the music that was playing. They watched stupid, silly videos on YouTube – news bloopers, Vine compilations and the like. Annabelle continued to stroke and massage Jasper's scalp as they passed the time. He definitely seemed to enjoy it, and Annabelle made a mental note that he liked this kind of thing. Jasper had been both touch starved and touch abhorrent for too long.

After a while, Annabelle noticed that Jasper’s eyes were closed again and he had stopped responding. He had fallen asleep. Annabelle bit her lip, slightly overwhelmed at how adorable she found this. She checked the time. It was nearly dawn and she was tired herself. She wished she didn't have to move, but she did. Very carefully, doing her best not to disturb him too much, Annabelle slipped out from under him and placed several pillows in where her legs had been under Jasper's head and neck. His knees were still bent up and she straightened his legs out into a more comfortable-looking position. Jasper was limp, cold and unbreathing. He growled faintly in his sleep, then stilled and become corpse-like again. Annabelle tried not to think about it too much. The fact that technically both she and Jasper were dead was something that still made her uncomfortable. Annabelle plugged her phone in to charge and found his phone to charge as well. She went around and turned off the battery candles before settling back into bed in the dark room.

Annabelle watched Jasper sleep for a few minutes in the dim light of her phone screen. She thought about their visit to his grave. She found it incredibly sad that he even had a grave in the first place, let alone one that was so stark and unadorned. Just a first and last name and two years written on his gravestone. That was all. It reeked to her of being a rush job. They hadn't even bothered to put his full birth or death dates on it. She wondered if his girlfriend had ever left flowers on his grave, and also if she were really the one who had defaced it earlier. Annabelle hoped she was alright, wherever she was and whatever she was doing. Jasper had enough troubles without worrying about her as well.

The phone eventually went dark and the light disappeared. Annabelle sighed and snuggled up next to Jasper's very still body. A few minutes later, she was asleep too.

#la by night #l.a. by night #vampire the masquerade #fanfic #fanfiction #jasper/annabelle #times jasper fed from annabelle

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tobns · 6 years

Text

in regards to my fics.

i hope that y’all know how much i absolutely loathe making these posts. because i do. i hate making them so much.

i’ve put off making this post for awhile because i really, truly, genuinely thought i wasn’t going to have to, that everything would work itself out somehow. but for the last two months or so, i’ve kinda known this in the back of my mind and didn’t really wanna act on it or anything? because it is one of my biggest grievances that i have with myself and my fic-writing: i wait too long to start a project, life comes barreling in the minute i start it and i just fade out, so fast, whenever i start something. i don’t know why, i don’t know if i’ll ever understand why i am so fucking incapable of finishing a story - maybe i just aim too high, maybe i overestimate things, maybe i’m writing it for the wrong reasons, i don’t know. i feel like it’s a combination of all those things.

for those of you who read cdg, for anyone who even remotely heard me talk about it, that story is my pride and joy, truly. i did so much research for cdg, i mapped it out several times, it was something i flung myself into and to me, it really felt like the departure of me just writing la-di-da contemporary stuff. i legit felt like this was the most mature, in depth thing i’d ever taken on and i was so proud of it. i think i screwed up by planning it to be so lengthy (even though i still stand by the fact that the length was necessary due to the fact i was covering two separate timelines) and then once i got back from california, it was hard for me to hop back in the swing of things. i got preoccupied with other things and cdg fell to the wayside. i thought that all it would take was a few new episodes of grey’s to really kick me back into gear, what with megan coming back and that storyline being a source of inspiration, but then they wrapped up the arc in 5 minutes and i just severely disliked the direction of grey’s after (i stopped watching after the megan/nathan episode and haven’t watched any since) and that took another whack to me and my wanting to write it. i love cdg, i love mark and lexie so much, but i just...can’t write that story. and it pisses me off that i can’t bring myself to finish it. i know throwing out excuses is moot for me at this point but i feel awful whenever i do this and let another story waltz into abandonment. i legit feel like a failure of a writer when i do this, but i wanted it off my chest: i don’t know if i will ever finish cdg, if it will just haunt me or if i’ll do something with it should the inspiration ever find me. but for now, cdg’s done. i just needed to say that, bc not addressing it is giving me more grief than anything. i love cdg, but i can’t do it anymore. i’ll be removing it from my fic list in the next few days. to anyone who read this story and supported it, more so than i ever would have imagined for a dead ship for nearly 5 years, i am so sorry, but thank you and i love you. if i find the time and the muse for it, i will continue it, but for now, it’s over. ( the same goes for grey’s fics; the show is so far left and out of character that i don’t even want to watch it or write for it. burned out on yet another fandom, good job emily!! )

the other thing that’s bothering me is cataclysm, and it’s the same sort of gist. i’ve had the story planned for two years now, i’ve been working on this saga since 2013??? and while verrrryyyyy few people still read it (hi amy) i am emotionally attached to what i’ve created. if, for some reason, you’re still out there and you read it, thanks for being patient with me. it’s a story i hope i will see through, but can’t right now due to being inspired with other things as well as just not having the muse for it. i’ve got my fingers crossed that maybe infinity wars will kick my ass into gear, but if it doesn’t, i can make my peace with leaving that story to lay at rest. i wrote so much for it, i dedicated so much of my teen years to that story, and if it doesn’t get seen through, i know in my heart where those characters end up. plus, i don’t think many of you really care all that much anyways about it, so that certainly helps, lmao

finally, seven mile december. here’s your good news: i’m not abandoning it, it’s just taking a little longer than i’d like and that’s okay. school is dragging me along, and that’s out of my control. but i’m writing, and it’s going okay. it’ll see an update on march 11, march 12, solely depending upon what’s finished by then. i’m just trying out a new approach to updating my fics, to see if it helps remedy my epidemic of abandonment. i’ve also got a thg cast oneshot that i’d love to write/see through as well, but for now, i just wanna focus on smd, and get as far with it as i can.

with the upcoming introduction of ruby hale to agents of shield, i know that there’s going to be a lot of my desire to write fic for her and daisy, cileme and i already have a collab in the works (god only knows where that’ll go but we’re pumped) and i’m sure i’ll have plenty of solo fics to bear. it’s why i’m trying to map out my schedule for the next little bit, so i can actually finish things and not feel like garbage when i don’t. hopefully i will continue writing for the hunger games (cast and fiction) as well, and finish those things. i’ve got an original story i’ve got ideas for at the moment, that i’d really love to start, and i want to start back to work at a novel, and perhaps this is where some of you see the issue: i spread myself out so thin, it’s no wonder i don’t get anything done! pacing. i’m trying to get better at it with this new approach to updating - i schedule a period where i write solely nothing but that one project and i don’t update until the scheduled day, and hopefully it produces a lot more content.

fic writing was not something i ever meant to feel like a chore, but somewhere along the line it has begun to feel that way. it was my hobby and my passion and i don’t ever want that to change, but i’ve got to do some serious work with me and my writing habits. for those of you who follow me because of my fics, thank you so so so so so so so so much for bearing with me and being much kinder on me than i’ve ever been on myself when it comes to updates. i’ve mentioned it before, the battle i have with trying to keep an audience as well as make sure i’m still having fun and not treating this like a job, and i am STILL struggling so much with that. writing this post gives me so many conflicting emotions, because part of me feels like yes, i can sit down and start writing chapter 14/15 of cdg and get it done, accomplish something, but the other part of me just knows i would be miserable the whole time. do other fic writers beat themselves up as much as i do??? i have no idea. but i beat myself up a lotttt.

basically, stuff is coming. if you wanna read me in the meantime, check out my blog. thank you for not coming after me with pitchforks. i’m trying to get better, and i’m trying to get back to a place where i genuinely enjoy writing (whether it’s fic or original stuff) so much that i don’t have to make these stupid posts feeling like i have to explain myself or apologize, i can just...do it and not feel like a human dumpster. if you’ve read til here, you’re a legend. ily. xx

#update #fanfiction

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