#more investigation may be required... maybe idk lol

[bugeyedfreaks]

Hey there!! I've lurked on your PPG blog for so long and always loved everything about it: the fantastic art you make and reblog, your jokes and observations, your critiques of the awful reboot, and especially the way you truly "get" the og show and just love its weird quirkiness that most people overlook! I was too shy to like your posts or send any asks for a long time, but I'm a long time fan of your blog and I'm so glad you're still around :)

Anyway all my rambling aside, I wanted to share some rare, possibly unofficial PPG merch I found a while ago!

They're actually charms/pins you put through the holes of Crocs shoes to display them as you walk around, if you can believe it haha! I don't own Crocs nor plan on getting them, but I was so surprised and delighted when I saw these at a random little stall in the middle of a walkway at a mall near me that I couldn't help buying them. :) They're about an inch tall and really high quality too. I'm not sure what they're made out of but it's rather rubber-like and pretty thick! I have no clue if these or any of the other, more-modern-pop-culture charms they were selling were actually official, but if so it's interesting (and a pleasant surprise!) they used the og art style for them when so much merch uses the reboot art style (or a mix of both, which is even worse somehow).

I quite like the poses they picked for these too! I definitely recognize Bubbles' and Buttercup's being movie-era/post-season-4-era promo art, but Blossom's is a mystery to me! The style looks more like season-1-to-4 I think (just look how different her head:body ratio is compared to her sisters' lol), and I don't recognize the pose at all (but I *love* it, so much action/movement in it!) both of which surprised me! If you happen to know where it's from I'd love to know!

!!!!! Awwwwwwww, you're way too sweet! 💖 I am so glad that you decided to unlurk and send me a message. I appreciate you and your many kind words!

And ooooooooh, the famous Crocs Jibbitz. It’s entirely possible that they could be official since, as you know from reading my rants about this sort of thing, whoever’s running the brand does allow manufacturers to go hog wild with using different eras of OG art. Buuuut if you bought them from one of the kinds of mall kiosks I'm imagining, and because Bubbles' one arm is miscolored, I would assume they're probably not legit... which is okay, I am 100% all for good quality bootlegs here. 😂 I swore that I had a better version, but this is the best I could find in my files:

...so it IS official art from somewhere, at least, and I swear I've seen it used on merch and stuff before. I reversed image searched for it and all I got was a link to this wiki page. There are pics with Bubbles and Buttercup that also have that shadow behind them, and yeah, they're definitely the S1-S4 designs (Bubbles is just ripped straight from that iconic pic of the three of them). Maybe these particular ones were images used on one of the CN websites at some point? No idea. It's definitely gotta be stock art from that era though.

[taegyuun]

s/o does enhypen’s make up challenge

genre: fluff

pairing: enhypen x reader

word count: 1k+

request: Can i request enhypen reactions where their s/o is a youtuber and they do the bf does my makeup thing?👉👈

♡ — LEE HEESEUNG

alrighty here we go

maybe a bit shy at first but once he gets used to it all he’ll literally steal the show

constantly giggling bc you’re touching his face and what not

you’re like “why are you so red do you have a temp??” BABY IS BLUSHING SO BAD BC YOURE SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE FOR LIKE 20 MINS STRAIGHT but then he gets confident after a while and teases you sm

probably gets close to your face to see you blush

obviously he wears make up for his job and whatever so you were like i’m gonna go all out and once he sees himself hes like “woah” bc god dayum the GLAM 😩🙏

probably steals all your fans and interacts with them on socials and what not

they request more videos with the lee heeseung.

and what they want they shall receive.

rest of the boys under the cut !

♡ — JAY PARK

probably requires some convincing but only so he can see your reaction bc he likes to tease you

he genuienly doesn’t mind making a video about you putting make up on him with you

he just wants to see you annoyed LMAOO

every time you touch his face he’ll be like “ewwwww grossssss” while smiling so widely like he cannot conceal his smile at ALL

bruh he doesn’t even bother trying to hide it he knows it’s futile

probably investigates every product you have and you’re like put that down and he does so but then picks it up again after like 2 seconds

after you’re done hes like wtf have you done to my face but he loves it LOL he just likes being annoying

kisses your cheek at the end of the video and everyone goes WILD

your fans are in love

♡ — JAKE SIM

so blushy

GIGGLES !!! idk it’s a reoccurring theme with him

hes pretty quiet most of the time until he forgets that the camera is there and he starts acting more like himself bc it’s just you two in a way

your fans are like wtf how is a boy so cute...??

hes probably attempting to do your make up as you’re doing his and you’re like dude that can be the next video it’s my time to shine with my skills

and hes like pouting but agrees

probably talks a lot after he gets comfortable and during you doing his make up he asks you what the things to and what not like he wants to learn bc he just wants to be that little bit better than any other boyfriend could be

suggest more video ideas you two could do together bc he thoroughly enjoyed it

♡ — PARK SUNGHOON

took quite a bit of convincing tbh

hes quite the introvert so he’d be like idk :/ but after seeing you pout and grip onto his sleeve while saying please he was like ugh fine 🙄

enjoys it a lot more than he’d like to admit tbh

you’re constantly holding his face and delicately brushing his head out his eyes and kmg hes like wowowoowow head empty yet head very very full of you

he is so infatuated bro like all your comments were filled with “the way he looks at them is unfair”

your fans can’t tell if they want to be with him or want what you two have for each other

probably teases you a lot as well as you’re doing things

like idk let’s say you’re trying to curl his lashes or put mascara on him - like hell purposely blink at the wrong time or move away LMAO

♡ — KIM SUNOO

ITS HIS CHANNEL NOW !!!!!

sunoo supremacy fr !!!

literally does your intro and everything hes been waiting to do this since your first video no joke

LMFAOO HE’LL BE JUDGING THE WAY YOU DO THINGS OR THE THINGS YOU USE

hed be like “really y/n....? that’s disappointing but ok i guess.... 😒” LMAOO NOT THE SASS !!

your fans would be so in love with him losing their minds over how sassy he is

tbh you may have given up half way with doing his make up and if that’s the case he definitely took over and did your make up instead

everyone was shocked but at the same time not really at how good of a job he did

tbh he appears more on your channel from that point on than you do yourself

♡ — YANG JUNGWON

baby shy asf !!

no hes genuienly just like bashfully smiling down at his lap the whole time with rosy cheeks

you’ll be constantly having to hold his chin up with your hand which makes him even warmer in the face awww

after like 10 mins or smth he’d get back to being quite... sassy....

y’know his usual jungwon self

MOCKS YOU LMFAOOO like you’ll say smth to the camera and hes like copying you but makes it very exaggerated y’know what i mean

forgets the camera is there tbh and is very real and idk i feel like he’d be really good at entertaining your audience and well yourself as well

i can see him cutely waving when you introduce him in or smth and hes like hi i’m jungwon :)

my mf baby i love him

♡ — NISHIMURA RIKI

why is he so difficult fr

this kid is like no.... but maybe 🤨🤨 wait no. actully-

omg it took him a whole day to decide whether he was gonna do it or not but in the end you was like ok i’ll either take you to a japanese restaurant for the homey vibes or i’ll sleep all day with you

now that got him to agree

you introduce him and hes just there slightly smiling and waving gently at the camera

kinda awkward at first but y’know he gets comfy after forgetting the camera is there and hes back to his teasing self

annoys the crap out of you the whole time

LMAOO MAKES YOU REGRET ASKING HIM FOR THIS

if you like leave the room or smth he’d be like “i’m only doing this bc i want japanese food and to sleep all day” and you’re like “😟 what dont u love me” LMFAOO

[alwaysabeautifullife]

i grew up in the catholic church, but stepped away from organized religion and spirituality quite some time ago bc it hurt me in a lot of ways and also didn’t make sense. but i’m just now realizing that i don’t find atheism comforting at all. i’m trying to reconnect with my spirituality, but the logical part of me just shoots down every attempt. idk what i believe in at this point, but i want to believe in something. any advice? where to start?

I think it’s ok to explore things from a logical perspective. Maybe this is because I personally wasn’t drawn to religion from an emotional perspective, it made “sense” to me. I do have problems emotionally connecting to it sometimes, I believe it is true, as in factual, but I have a difficult time feeling a lot of the emotions over it others seem so deeply blessed with, like love, I really wish I could feel love alllllllll the time for the faith, and I believe that’s very admirable and lovely!

It’s also ok to simply learn, you can approach with caution, God gave you a brain for a reason, it’s important to ask questions, it’s important to measure truths against evidence and facts. Even the Church which is built in faith requires miracles and apparitions and even the canonization of Saints to be investigated for in most cases hundreds of years.

I know lots of people recommended me in the beginning to start with prayer and that may or may not help you. It can be uncomfortable for me personally, I feel awkward speaking, so I used written prayers, and it took me many months of “investigating” before I really got to that point.

It’s ok to be curious, to ask questions, to explore, feel things out. You don’t have to jump in the ice cold water. In fact, the reason why RCIA (which is required for adult conversion) exists, to educate the teachings of the Church and the faith to be sure one is fully aware of the teachings before making life time commitments like baptism or receiving of the other sacraments.

For me personally, it was reading works of the Saints. While they aren’t ALL dogmatic, they are incredibly brilliant people, love, faith, suffering...these are ideas that sometimes exceed logical explanation, and can feel divinely mysterious although also simple in that people feel them almost daily. Reading the writings of Saints on these topics was really interesting. Also artwork. I could stare at beautiful images all day. Any mind can understand and contemplate art, simple minds like mine who just simply admire, and more brilliant and logical minds who explore the work entirely. It’s a meditation of sorts I feel, admiring artwork, it takes the mind somewhere else. If I would start anywhere id look for an image that appeals to you and just simply think about it, or think nothing at all (that’s what I do lol!)

[miyamorana]

First Lines

Stolen from @katvonbirb

Rules are: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

—

Tinsel and Mistletoe (VLD)

The sun is peeking through the curtains, the single ray of pale morning light landing right on his eyelid. Lance grabs the edge of his bedsheet and drags it over his face, smothering the light and silently cursing his past self for not properly drawing the curtains shut.

There Be Dragons (HP)

Harry and his godfathers move to London just after his 11th birthday. Sirius’ estranged mother passed away, and he inherited his childhood house.

Finally Free (JatP)

They’re arguing about the harmonies of their newest song when Flynn pushes open the door and announces that Julie and her need to talk about outfits.

“We don’t even have our next gig yet,” Luke replies. “We should finish working out this bridge before talking about costumes.”

Something Cosmic (RNM)

Guerin is… No, not Guerin, Alex admonishes himself. Michael. Michael is waiting for him by the car, leaning against it in a very cowboy posture, thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. He seems relaxed, but the way he quickly licks his bottom lip as he looks at Alex betrays his nerves. Alex smiles softly, pushing down his own nerves knotting his throat.

In the Morning (RNM)

Michael wakes up to a thundering headache, which isn’t fair. He didn’t even have anything to drink – he’s not stupid, he knows his metabolism doesn’t handle alcohol well. He does remember the taste of punch on his lips though. No. Not on his lips.

Rush (TW)

The snow creeks under Stiles’ feet, a soft, muffled sound in the stillness of the night. Everything is soft in the park. Muted, somehow, even though he can see in details he wouldn’t have been able to make out in daylight before.

Recommencement (Merlin)

Arthur déplaça la bougie afin de pouvoir lire le nom de la petite ville à l’orée de la forêt, faisant attention de ne pas faire couler de cire sur la carte. Il n’était pas sûr de quand la nuit était tombée exactement, mais les lampes avaient été allumées et une assiette de nourriture, toujours pleine et désormais froide, avait été posée à côté de lui. 

Of Magic and Duty (LoL)

Sometimes, Darius wonders how long Zaun is going to last before some experiment accidentally turns its already heavily polluted atmosphere completely toxic, or maybe simply makes the whole place explode. He just hopes it doesn’t happen while he’s there. That would be a very disappointing way to die.

In Earth’s Cradle (DA2)

Fenris moves through the battle, Fade-stepping to get faster, to dodge attacks and projectiles. One second he’s not-quite-there, and the enemy sword is ripping through air, the next he’s material again, his fist becoming solid inside the soldier’s chest, flesh and bone ripping to make space for him.

He’ll Bite (CA)

Sam’s the one who finds Bucky, or maybe Bucky finds Sam, neither mentioned much about how it happened but now Bucky’s sitting in Sam’s kitchen, hands wrapped around a warm cup of coffee, and Steve doesn’t know what to say.

Sugar and Spice (Angel)

Wolfram & Hart is no more, and Angel Investigations moved back into the Hyperion hotel. Spike tagged along, because really he has no other place to go to, and he did help save the world after all. (“Twice!” he would insist on pointing out.)

It Must Be (BtVS)

“You cannot tell anyone,” Anya hears as she walks past the door to Dawn’s room.

She stops, carefully tiptoes towards said door and presses her ear against the wooden panel. What is Dawn up to this time? With the First after them, they really don’t have time for more of Dawn’s teenage crisis. She thought they were past this.

Derrière la Porte (TW)

Pourquoi est-ce que personne ne lui avait dit que les études universitaires, c’est dur? Stiles se masse le front dans l’ascenseur, essayant de faire disparaître le début de mal de tête qu’il sent déjà poindre. Il est tard, plus tard que l’heure à laquelle il rentre d’habitude, et son portable n’a plus de batterie, aussi espère-t-il que Derek ne se soit pas trop inquiété.

Sleepless (DA2)

Fenris first notices it after they kill the dragon at the Bone Pit. Well, the new one. Hawke has a claw stuck through her arm, and though she says it’s fine he insists on dragging her to the clinic, even if he has to break the door and shake Anders awake. There is no door-breaking or shaking required, because even though it’s so late some might call it early Anders is up, working, organising the potions on his shelves and listing the things he’ll need to procure soon.

Dearest Laura (TW)

Dearest Laura,

I've been staring at these two words for the last ten minutes, wondering how to start this, but I'm not even sure why I sat down with paper and pen in the first place. Maybe I'm feeling lonely, now that Derek and uncle Peter are gone. Maybe I'm feeling guilty... guilty of so many things, none the least what happened all those years ago.

Cyberwolf (TW)

There are many ways to cheat death if you have the knowledge and the resources, Peter had once said in one of his weird speeches in which he gives you disturbing information you didn’t want, and none of the information you actually need. They were probably discussing the subject of Lydia’s nature, and wondering how Peter had been able to use that to come back from the dead, which still made absolutely zero sense to Stiles. But the words had stuck in his mind, burrowed deep, and started growing into questions and ideas.

Respite (TW)

Derek’s eyes open as he gasps for breath, panicking. For a second, he doesn’t remember where he is. For a second, he can still feel the arms of his nightmare holding him up, can still feel his claws sinking into Boyd’s chest, Boyd’s energy seep out of him and into Derek.

In Wolf Skin (TW)

“No,” Stiles says, pointing a finger at the teenager in front of him. “No no no! You give it back right now!”

New Spark (TW)

Isaac is sitting on Scott’s bed, shuffling through the songs on Scott’s ipod, trying to find one he can actually focus on. There’s no use, he can’t help himself, his ears stay tuned to the sound of Scott and his mom’s conversation downstairs.

Burning Embers (TW)

Peter looks down at Cora’s face, trying to match the features of the teenager in front of him with his memories of the eleven-year-old kid he last saw half-an-hour before the fire. Her presence here makes no sense. She must have been in her bedroom, doing homework, when the house burst into flames.

—

Firstly, it is sad that I had to go back all the way to 2013 for my last 20 fics. I really need to write more. T_T

As for a pattern, idk, I don’t really see one? Sometimes I drop the reader in the middle of things, sometimes I set up a scene with descriptions, sometimes I go into a character’s head... Do you see a pattern in my fic openings?

My favorite of these is a toss up between In Wolf Skin and Tinsel and Mistletoe, I think, even though they are very very different.

I’m “tagging” anyone who feels like doing this?

[gamerfansims389]

Characters I Think Can (and possibly can't) defeat Alastor

You know. Different characters in Hazbin going up against Alastor one day in a full on power battle with him would be interesting. But what about other characters from other fandoms?

Disclaimer: Some characters from some fandoms, I haven't seen all of (like movies, shows and anime). So please keep that in mind.

I will also categorize characters in the following: High Chance, Medium Chance, Low Chance

High Chance meaning they could most definatley defeat him easily without any injuries or within the blink of an eye, Medium Chance, they could defeat him but it would take a while to, may take some injuries, Low Chance, will most definatley end up with injuries, maybe even come close to dying.

Please note: I don't hate Alastor. He's a really interesting character in my book. This idea has just been in my head for a while. And I wanna see if other people will agree and or disagree. You are also free to reblog this and add onto the list if you want to. This is an open topic to discuss. As long as it remains peaceful and civil. If it gets out of hand, I will delete this post.

This post may also contain spoilers from other shows, anime, cartoons, and movies. I'm leaving game characters out of this because I haven't played a lot of games in order to put those characters on this list. But you are free to add game characters if you wish. You have been warned of possible spoilers!

Anyways. On with the list. This also will be in no particular order power wise so yeah.

High Chance:

1. Mob/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100) (As of this post, I have 2 more episodes left remaining in Season 2. Do not spoil for me and for others please!)

Okay. Maybe not when he's at normal power (0%). But when he's at 100%, that boy is an explosive depending on what emotion he's feeling at the time of a situation. Yes, he has his rule of not using his psychic powers against others. But when the people he holds dearly are in danger of possibly dying or not, he is not a force to be messed with.

(An example of when he's at 100%)

2. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) (Spoiler warning!)

We all know of how powerful Bill is. He caused a Weirdmaggedon on Gravity Falls in the Season 2 finale. He froze time, he can grow, he can change his form, and he's been around since the beginning of time itself. Sure, he was defeated by Mabel and Dipper themselves a few times already. But as a whole, this triangle demon is pretty much an unstoppable force to deal with if you really look at it.

He also has a lot of similar qualities to that of Alastor. He likes to make deals, he likes to cause trouble, a lot of the citizens fear him, etc.

3. Kurumi (Date a Live) (Spoiler warning!)

It's been a long time since I last watched Date a Live. But from what I remember, this girl is pretty powerful. If my memory serves me correctly, she can freeze time, she can make duplicates of herself, she weilds a shotgun, she's quite a handful power wise. I haven't seen all of Date a Live. Just the 1st Season. So idk if other seasons/spin offs/OVA's/movies explore more on her powers or not (please don't spoil if it does).

4. Gon (Hunter x Hunter 2011) (Spoiler warning!)

I honestly do think that Gon has a high chance of defeating Alastor. We saw him duke it out with Neferpitou and he won for the sake of a friend. Just like Mob, he may not seem strong appearance wise but this boy has taken on some people much powerful than he is and won. Sure, his battle with the Chimera Ants almost left him for dead but he still made it out alive in the end thanks to Killua's help.

5. Elsa (Frozen, Frozen 2) (Please note I have not seen anything else Frozen related such as shorts. So I'm basing all of this based on what I have seen from Frozen. Any Frozen shorts that may have development on Elsa's powers! I have now seen Frozen 2 on YouTube due to a link but that doesn't mean you can spoil it for others!)

As rediculous as this may sound to some, she probably does have a high chance of defeating Alastor. We saw this girl make an entire ice castle just from her powers alone in Frozen within the course of a 2-3 minute song that everyone has embedded in their heads at this point in time. She can also change her outfits via her powers as well and make animate snow/ice creatures with her powers as well. Heck, we saw her freeze an entire kingdom which was the plot starter for Frozen! Again. Others may have other opinions. But this is what I think.

Medium Chance:

1. Celty Sturloson (Durarara!) (Spoiler warning!)

Like Date a Live, it's been quite a while since I last seen the entirety of Durarara so just bare with me on this. For those that don't know, Celty is a Dullahan, a creature from Irish folklore which is basically like their version of the Grim Reaper. Dullahans supposedly carry their heads around in their arms after they die. But in Celty's case, she lost her head and she kind of gave up on searching for it towards the end of the series. She can make a black ball out of an inescapable substance from her powers, she can make web-like structures with them as well, and she also does weild a scythe. Her motorcycle can also transform into different vehicles such as a horse (which is default), a bike, a carriage, etc.

2. Lelouch Lamporouge (Code Geass) (Please note that I have never completed this anime. I had like 9 episodes remaining in Season 1. So please don't spoil anything in regards to Lelouch's power development!)

I kind of have my doubts with Lelouch on this one since his powers require him to look at someone directly in the eye in order to possess them so he can command them to do something against their own will. But if he plays his cards right (which he's pretty good at doing), he could have a chance of defeating Alastor. Like I previously mentioned, I haven't completed all of Code Geass so I don't know the full extent of Lelouch's powers outside of Season 1. I already also mentioned Lelouch's powers previously, too so yeah lol. But yeah. I kind of have my doubts when it comes to him.

3. Yuu Otosaka (Charlotte) (Spoiler warning!)

Yuu would most likely have a medium chance of defeating Alastor because of his ability to harness other's powers. Keep in mind. It's also been a while since I've last seen Charlotte so bare with me on this one as well. I do think he would come out with some injuries because of the fact that he doesn't know the extent of other's powers that he has harnessed from them, he only knows about his own powers very well. If he's not careful, he could end up injured.

4. Albedo (Overlord) (Please note that I've only seen Season 1 so don't spoil anything that's important to Albedo's power development!)

I personally don't think Einz himself would go out to try to fight someone that's as powerful as he is unless it posed as a threat to his life and or his kingdom. So, I would think that he'd send his servants to survey the area of any potential threats and to get rid of them immediatley before they become a big threat. He probably wouldn't send Albedo out first but maybe she could be his 2nd to last resort before going to investigate himself. Either that or she'd automatically volunteer herself out of the sake of her love for Einz. Which, he'd probably agree with once the begging gets annoying.

5. Chrollo Lucilfer (Hunter x Hunter 2011) (Spoiler warning!)

This would be before he got his powers taken away and restricted into a state of Zetsu by Kurapika. He has shown to be pretty powerful. He made it out alive when fighting against two members of the Zoldyck family. But I think the only disadvantage to this would be the fact that he needs his Nen book in order to use other's powers. Without his Nen book, he's basically powerless.

Low Chance:

1. Ganta (Deadman Wonderland) (Spoiler warning!)

It's been quite a while since I've seen Deadman Wonderland. Bare with me here. So much like Gon, Ganta has taken on some pretty powerful Deadmen while serving his time in Deadman Wonderland after being accused of a crime he was blackmailed against for. I don't exactly remember his Deadman ability since it's been so long. But I do think he'd come out with quite a lot of injuries after challenging Alastor to a fight.

2. Decim (Death Parade) (Spoiler warning!)

The only thing I'm aware of power wise for Decim is that he can use web-like strings to hold people down after they've realized they're dead. I've heard quite a bit saying that he's based on the Greek god, Decima. Idk if that's true or not tho. But the extent of his powers is unknown and I highly doubt Death Parade will continue as an anime series. So I would think he has a low chance at defeating Alastor with all that we currently know on his powers.

3. Sebastian Micaelis (Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji) (Spoiler warning!)

A lot of fangirls will probably hate me for this. Lol. But I kind of doubt Sebastian could defeat Alastor without getting injured. We don't know the full extent of his powers yet despite also coming from Hell in that universe. So, that's the reason to my doubts.

4. Magica De Spell (DuckTales 2017) (Spoiler warning!)

This would be before the Shadow War! I'm also not going to discuss the 1987 show or the original comics since I've never completed the 1987 show nor have I read any of the original comics yet. So I'm only relying on what we've seen so far in the reboot. Like Bill, she was able to start this apocalypse by taking everyone's shadows from them. She trapped Scrooge in his own lucky dime in order to execute her plans. But I doubt she'd be able to defeat Alastor in all honesty.

5. Lena De Spell (DuckTales 2017) (Spoiler warning!)

Lena De Spell is the niece of Magica De Spell. She was created as a shadow with the appearance of the real girl in order to unwillingly help Magica with her plans to take over Duckburg in the exchange for her freedom. After Magica is defeated and powerless, Lena now currently possesses Magica's powers via her amulet. So she undoubtingly has some of the same powers that Magica had. But since she hasn't really had much character development/power development as of this post, I kind of doubt she could defeat Alastor without being injured.

Aand that's all. If you want to add to this post, reblogs are appriciated. Thank you!

[psychoth]

Conversations with my mother.

Also....

  http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

(For dad, not you)

I'm looking at this and ... I don't know if he's a straight up narcI'm talking to my friend, whose dad's personality basically IS this list.

Dad is definitely 1, borderline 2, semi-3, 4 is no, 5 I'm not sure, 6 no, 7 no, 8 no, 9 not really, 10 maybe a little, 11 yes I think, 12 yes, 13 yes, 14 yes, 15 no, 16 sort of sometimes, 17 kind of, 18 no, 19 maybe, 20 YES, 21 no, 22 no, 23 no, 24 I don't know

I haven't read it yet, but your dad's side of the family has a really strong trait of narcissim...

My friend/writing partner's dad is like ... psycho

I've felt that for a long time, it was like when I flew out with your dad and met them for the first time... all they did was talk about themselves.  They never asked about me, I felt talked at for two weeks.

Like wouldn't let them have doors on their room psycho

wow

So I always conflate narcissism with THAT level of nuts

But I was talking to her today like 'lol <thing dad used to do>' and she's like 'that sounds like a narc

I don't think he quite qualifies as a full on narcissist, because he is missing a few of the important points...BUT - there is a hell of a lot that fits him.

And eloiseand Astrid

I do think he feels us as more than extensions of himself.

Which seems to be central to narc ... ness

Uhmmm.....I'm not so sure he does....

Viewing the people close to you as things.

He does do that.

He doesn't respect you kids, he never has... you are extensions of him, everything you do that doesn't meet his standards is an embarrassment to him.

I barely talk to him anymore, and so much of my childhood/teenagehood, my memory feels super shaky.

Yeah, I'm super pissed at myself and him about your childhood.

Because for the most part, I was constantly protecting you.

shrug I'm fine now

Like ... I'm just trying to understand now, mostly because it will help and

Also I'm worried about my sisters.

We had a couple of bad instances - but the fact that you don't remember me sticking up for you and associate all the crap things he did with both of us, makes me sooooo angry that I went along with his "united" front theory of parenting.

I think it's a lot easier for me to forgive you any fuckups than it is him, because you've put SO MUCH EFFORT into growing and changing and becoming this awesome super mom

(I mean there was a couple of times I was not cool in how I parented you, I'm SOOO sorry about Sable.)

That's the thing, I wasn't perfect with you, but I was also an awesome super mom for you too.

Like you're not perfect, nobody is, I wouldn't expect that of ANYONE, but you acknowledge your mistakes and you TALK about them

But you don't even remember that.

That matters to me a lot

With dad...He never acknowledges that he's done anything wrong, really.

Or if he does... he doesn't work to fix it.

He doesn't try to be better.

He doesn't question himself, he doesn't LISTEN

I know

And that BOTHERS ME SO MUCH

I tried for 20 years to get him to be betterand he was... a little

and whatever progress I made, was erased when he married Jenn

Sigh

I just want to understand.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if the abuse is severe enough that he is legally committing child abuse.

I don't actually know.

Both for myself, and for my sisters.

What help does understanding do?

It doesn't make it any easier to live through

Like ... if you look at it from an outside perspective, yelling isn't abuse, right?

But that psychological terrorizing... idk

I don't know what to do.  And now, the little girls are not even saying it's that bad.I think it is abusive, and sometimes, I think he's crossing the line where a court would agree.

But it's not consistently enough that I can call him out on it.

Look up verbal abuse, it's illegal to verbally abuse your children.

And let me know if you think he would qualify - by law - as verbally abusive.

"Typical language used in these definitions is “injury to the psychological capacity or emotional stability of the child as evidenced by an observable or substantial change in behavior, emotional response, or cognition” and injury as evidenced by “anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or aggressive behavior.”

I mean....Yeah

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/define.pdf#page=2&view=Types%20of%20abusewww.childwelfare.govchildwelfare.gov

Yeah

I don't know.

you could report him.

Fiona told him he is literally giving her anxiety

and he told her, no, he isn't.

But Linnea has told me firmly, that she loves him and that she can handle it by monitoring herself so that she doesn't do anything that pisses him off.

This is the same tactic that Annika took.

.... wince

Managing him by tiptoeing around his anger.If he starts to escalate, she fixes whatever is escalating him.

Fiona I think is going along with what Linnea wants, but she's spoken up a few times saying that she's still being yelled at.

I really think #2 is a yes... more so than when you were growing up.

“Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you're punished for your insistence ("Since you're old enough to date, I think you're old enough to pay for your own clothes!") If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your "independence."”

Lara

He wouldn't let them play outside, they couldn't walk two blocks to go to the park.

That's the definition/information specifically for Oregon

nods

well, it certainly fits for both you and annika

It pisses me off how much damage he would do to her from a simple weekend visit.

Maybe I should talk to one of the counselors here and ask them if I should report it.

I'm actually a mandatory reporter, so if I know abuse is going on, I'm required to report it.

I'm going to go find someone to talk to .

God he'd be so. fucking. pissed.

If CPS reached out to him.

He'd be absolutely furious.

You know he'll rant and rave and rage. Are those reports anonymous? Cause if you did that and he found out...Things would get fucking UGLY.

Okay - she said we should go ahead and report

We can report anonymous

and they won't do anything anyway

but it builds a case.

They only investigate for sexual and physical abuse.

She said they don't even investigate neglect.

Wow

You don't have to if you don't want to.  But I'm going to do it.

Later, I'm working atm...

hugs

I don't know if I'm ready to do that.

I might be at some point, but... not yet. >:

Understood.

Well, I'm FURIOUS about Annika

Like my heart just started racing

I was there with you.

And my hands got a little shaky

But Annika was subjected to his abuse...without any moderation from me.

Well, it helped me to know it can be done anonymously and that DHS won't go knocking his door down.

“17. She "parentifies." She shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up for herself. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers. Your friends were never welcome in her house. She didn't like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. She wouldn't buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with "Now that you're making money, why don't you pay for that yourself?" You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was "so happy you could take care of yourself." She also gave you tasks that were rightfully hers and should not have been placed on a child. You may have been a primary caregiver for young siblings or an incapacitated parent. You may have had responsibility for excessive household tasks. Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. You were often punished out of the blue, for manufactured offenses. As you got older she directly placed responsibility for her welfare and her emotions on you, weeping on your shoulder and unloading on you any time something went awry for her.”

that's why I hesitated in the first place, because yeah, if he knew it was me...

This one is Annika 100%

“It's not THAT severe, she could have friends over sometimes, but... taking on his responsibilities for the other kids, yes, and the absolute resistance to helping her go places or do thingsLaraAs soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with "Now that you're making money, why don't you pay for that yourself?" You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was "so happy you could take care of yourself." “