#more real life ramblings let’s gooooo

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

[teddie-bear420]

CHARLIE AND VIVA

The princess of hell and her trusty knight are on a mission to save sinners souls!

Doodles and rambles under the cut, and I mean like walls of text

be aware I make shit up a lot, I was very high on drugs and gay sex

Welcome to the show I’ve made in my head, ok where to begin? I guess with how boring I find Charlie nd vaggie in the show proper, I like them, they just don’t have any real spice to them. Charlie is a just a girl, she has no real friends and just surrounds herself with others problems. Check out the beginning of episode four, husk just says that out loud, we saw it once with angel dust and then they totally drop it for the rest of the show. I wanted to see Charlie fail and get back up again, but we don’t see that! Idk maybe I want more out of the text but I hated to see Charlie act like a baby, not a young woman, I makes me so mad that she isn’t really friends with anyone, no fun dynamics, Charlie kinda just looks at her guests and ‘employees’ but she never sees them. I mean like give me some bff moments with Charlie, she has no friends, she a loser baby!

Vaggie is the best better at making friends, and enemies honestly she is the second protagonist. I hated her until I saw her fuck ass bob. I fell in love

Ok so I made a prequel hazbin design that I just fell in love with, here she is. Ok so girls is bugs, vaggie is a moth and lute is a mantis, they grew up together in heaven. Being raised to be an exorcist was pretty sweet except for the military indoctrination!

Wonderful lute convo here

So vaggie is now in hell and is saved by Charlie, who believes that vag is a sinner. Eventually they get together romantically and start working on the happy hotel project, then they get angle dust as a guest. You know the deal, but how did vag get with Charlie? Who asked who out? I love how loyal vaggie is to Charlie but WHY is she so loyal? I think because Charlie wanted to ask about vaggies life and she took the opportunity to become a new person !

I think having char be the ray of sunshine in such a violent place attracts the lost and broken to her is cool. Vaggie tells ridiculous lies about her human life like being ran over by a horse. And being a pirate captain. Vaggies colors go from green to purple, aesthetic goes from Joan of arc lesbian to a captain Ching Shih lesbian yknow what I mean?

Charlie is taken in with this eccentric woman and befriends her. And also when Charlie and vaggie start to get closer char gifts her the red ribbon that vaggie wears all the time. The pink red is Charlies color and it sticks to all of her friends! Like when angel and Charlie get really close she gifts him the hot pink gloves and he wears them for the duration of the show. (I’ll write about that in another post lol)

MY CHARLIE loves to feed people food she’s made, so she just keeps feeding vaggie and the she starts to beef up, buff 5’4 vaggie lets gooooo. They cook food together and help sinners together. I forgot to mention that Charlie in my perfect world does actual charity work, she works down at the soup kitchen and cleans up the parks and gives people work, Charlie is just constantly busy and never gives herself a day off. Vaggie does her best to help while constantly working on her prodigious.

These girls also work at the local theater! They do a lot of dress up! And i really liked the idea that Charlie is astanged from her dad and is no contact with him. So she isn’t some princess that’s throwing money at the poor. She builds her own motel for the happy hotel project so that when it is destroyed they can build the hotel proper and have an actual emotional impact.

A little comic I sketched of out, Charlie was calling her dad for help with the hotel but he completely shuts her down and calls her idea dumb, I liked when Lucifer was a shitty dad that called Charlie a failure, instead of some sad loser who forgets to call his daughter, like I have a shitty dad and he tore down lots of my ideas and then is confused when I don’t talk to him.

Like idk how there are so many characters with daddy issues but they all are poorly written…

What else is there? Ermmm, I suppose I like Charlie as a demon that looks the most human out of the cast, like sure she has clown makeup as skin but giving her round ears and a demon tail looks super cute. And in the first few episodes Charlie hides her tail and uses it as a belt, and as a show of faith she reveals her tail to the hazbin gang!

[puckinganderson]

Finding You - Part One

Feat. Josh Anderson

Word Count: 3,949

Warnings: language, drinking, smut

A/N: I hope you all love this!! This is my first attempt at writing, so I appreciate any and all feedback :)

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“(Y/N), let’s fucking gooooo,” yelled Kate from your downstairs. It was a freezing cold Thursday night, so you weren’t entirely sure why you let you best friend convince you to go out.

It had been three months since you caught your boyfriend of two years with his coworker. To be honest, you really weren’t too upset and it put into perspective how much you didn’t care about him or the relationship.

All you felt after the break-up, really, was lost. It was your senior year of college and you’d wasted two years with someone you didn’t even really love. What else in your life were you content with, but not truly happy? Life went on, but you found yourself in a daze unless Kate forced you out of it.

Tonight was one of those nights. Looking in the mirror, you really didn’t recognize the girl staring back. A baby blue, Victoria’s Secret, bodysuit was snug underneath your black jeans and leather jacket. To top it off, a pair of heeled boots added two inches to your frame.

Kate had spent time curling your hair into relaxed waves and giving you a soft smoky eye. Honestly, you were feeling good. Confident, even, for the first time in months.

You grabbed your clutch and headed downstairs to find an impatient Kate waiting at the door to catch an Uber.

Finally making it into the new Short North bar, you headed straight to get a drink, needing the alcohol to kick in already. You were most definitely not someone that could dance without a few drinks to loosen up first.

“Kate, I need a shot before dancing,” you yelled to your best friend over the music.

Let’s be real, you were the most ungraceful person known to mankind. After throwing back a shot of tequila and grabbing your Crown and Coke, you head to the dance floor.

Two drinks later and the booze was finally starting to kick in enough that you can forget all of the eyes watching you make a fool of yourself on the dance floor.

You really weren’t sure how long you and Kate had been dancing when she wandered off to the bathroom and you decided to grab another drink.

“One Crown and Coke, and a vodka cranberry please,” you rambled off the go-to order that Kate and you always shared.

Heading back to your dancing spot to wait for Kate, you bumped into a hard chest and felt your drink slosh onto the unknown guy.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled and and looked up to see the softest eyes gazing back.

You felt your cheeks flush and heat up immediately under his stare.

“Oh no worries, it’ll dry,” he ensured with a smirk, surely noticing your embarrassment. “I’m Josh.”

Seeing Kate appear from behind him, she grabbed the vodka cranberry you had gotten her. Clearly she could tell you were nervous and didn’t know what to say.

“(Y/N), let’s go dance,” she said while taking your hand to pull you away from who you now new was Josh.

Looking back over your shoulder, you offered Josh a soft smile and followed Kate to a somewhat empty spot on the dance floor.

“Ugh thank you for saving me from myself,” you whispered in Kate’s ear.

“You looked like a deer in headlights,” she yelled over the music and you threw your head back laughing.

“I mean, did you see how fucking huge he was? I didn’t know what to say,” you giggle back to her.

“Well don’t worry, I saw the way he was eye fucking you and it won’t be the last time he talks to you tonight,” Kate ensured but you scoffed.

Sure, you looked hot, but it had been for-fucking-ever since you were at a bar trying to pick up guys.

After a few songs you forgot about Josh and were screaming the lyrics of Across the Room with Kate. It felt good to finally let loose after so long of holding back. Your ex really hadn’t done a number on you, but it felt like you had done one on yourself.

Since the break-up, you had realized how many opportunities you passed up while in a lifeless relationship.

You weren’t the girl who got a guy and ditched her friends or family. No, those relationships stayed intact. You were great at putting others first and focusing on there needs.

What you lost was yourself. Constantly feeling emotionally drained, you failed to keep up with hobbies or passions. Traveling, reading, volunteering - all of it was ignored. The only thing you consistently enjoyed was working out since you could lose yourself in music and ignore reality for a little bit every day.

Classes, a part-time job, your relationship, keeping up with friends and family - it was all pulling from you every day until there was no more left. Nothing replenished it.

For once, it felt like a little bit of you was coming back. You sure as hell didn’t want to feel that way ever again.

“Hello, (Y/N), are you ok?” Kate shouted in your face.

Not realizing you had zoned-out, you apologized. Finishing your third drink, Kate went off to buy the next round.

You heard the music of Feel So Close and felt the biggest grin take over your face. It had been forever since you and Kate screamed the lyrics at the top of your lungs, so you looked around to see if she was on her way back.

While trying to find her, your eyes were pulled to Josh in the corner of the bar by a booth. He had clearly been staring at you, so you didn’t know what to do but look away awkwardly. Thankfully, Kate was headed back so you started singing the lyrics with her obnoxiously.

When the song was winding down, and you and Kate were done being so ridiculous, you stole a glance back over and Josh’s direction. He was laughing with another guy, but was turned in your direction.

This time he gave you a subtle head nod, and something in you snapped. Fuck it. Throwing back your drink, you handed it off to Kate.

“I’ll be back,” you told her as your feet already carried you in Josh’s direction. Maintaining eye contact the whole way over, his friend realized something had his attention and turned to see you too.

“Hi, I’m (Y/N),” you introduced yourself to Josh.

“Oh I know, I heard your friend call out your name before you ran off to go dance,” he answered smoothly, licking his lips that you couldn’t help but stare at.

“Sorry, it’s a girls night,” you replied coyly.

“Well, then what are you doing over here now?”

“I’m not really sure, I kinda came over on a whim,” you told him honestly.

Josh’s friend was watching the two of you go back and forth, when you turned to introduce yourself to them.

“Hi, I’m (Y/N),” you repeated.

“Seth,” a guy with darker features said while shaking your hand.

Knowing that Kate was single, and let’s face it your best friend was a babe, you turned to call her over. She caught your eyes and got the hint, walking over.

“Seth, this is my best friend Kate. Kate, this is Seth.”

The two started talking and you turned your attention back to Josh. He was eyeing you curiously and had the smallest smile cross over his face.

“I’m sorry about the drink early, hopefully it doesn’t ruin your shirt,” you apologized again.

“Seriously it’s not a big deal,” he chuckled.

“Well I don’t love spilling my favorite drink on a stranger.”

“I’m not a stranger anymore, so that really doesn’t matter,” Josh challenged.

Even in your heels, Josh was still significantly taller than you. He really was the perfect height though, making you feel small when he leaned down to talk in your ear.

In the crowded bar, someone walked behind you and bumped you into Josh. His hand grabbed your hip instantly to steady you so you didn’t fall. Feeling the warmth from his skin seep into yours, you felt goose bumps break out all over your body.

Looking up into his eyes, you realized how close you were to his lips. It felt hard to breath all of the sudden, when a song came on that made Josh chuckle.

“Wanna dance?” He asked, while clearly not taking no for an answer because he was already pulling you towards the dance floor.

For being so tall, you really didn’t expect him to be able to dance. Especially not to a song like Señorita.

Josh pulled you flush into him, so your hands had no choice but to rest on his shoulders. Both of his hands gripped onto your hips and he moved you both to the beat.

Most guys just wanted to feel your ass rub their dicks, so it was a really hot that he didn’t do that.

Pulling your face close to his, Josh kept eye contact throughout the whole song. His cheeks were flushed and lips parted. You were sure that your panties were fucking soaked and all you were doing was dancing.

You looked down at Josh’s lips and realized how soft they look.

“Kiss me,” you told Josh while deciding to just take a chance again tonight.

He let out a soft groan and smashed his lips to yours instantly. It was the perfect amount of pressure that wasn’t too much, but also showed that he wanted you.

Not even sure when the songs had changed, you let your head fall back to get a breath of air. Josh immediately dove in and you felt his stubble scrape your neck.

“Fuck,” Josh muttered hearing you gasp at the feeling of his lips on the sensitive spot below your ear.

“Josh, let’s go. Now,” you demanded as he took a deep breath of air and looked up at you.

“Uh yeah, c’mon,” he answered, grabbing your hand and leading you over to Seth and Kate.

While Josh said goodbye to his friend, Kate gave you a huge grin and pulled you over a few feet.

“(Y/N), fuck yes!” Kate shouted.

“Keep it down,” you begged her, hoping Josh hadn’t heard.

“That was so hot, I think everyone in this place was watching,” she rambled, while you rolled your eyes.

“Ok, well we’re leaving,” you told her, taking a step to go when you saw Josh waiting.

“(Y/N),” she said, grabbing your hand. “I’m happy to see you letting loose for once, let me know if you need anything.”

Taking a second to appreciate your friend and all of her support, you pulled her in for a hug and gave her peck on the cheek.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you Kate. Have fun with Seth!” You said with a wink.

Turning to see Josh waiting with a smile, you walked over and he took your hand.

“Ready?” Josh asked to make sure again.

“Absolutely,” you answered feeling sure about something for once in your life.

Josh had already called an Uber so you didn’t have to wait long in the cold. The ride back to his apartment wasn’t long and on the way there he made small talk about Columbus while holding your hand.

Stepping on the elevator, the energy shifted back to the intensity you felt on the dance floor. Within seconds after pushing his floor and the doors closing, Josh had you back against the elevator wall and his mouth was at your neck again.

“Oh fuck Josh,” you moaned while threading your hands through his hair.

He kissed his way back up to your lips and kept them there until you heard the doors ding open again. Josh grabbed your hand and led you to his apartment a few doors down.

Closing the door behind you two, he surprisingly offered a drink rather than jumping you again.

“Sure, I’ll take a glass of wine if you have any,” you told him.

Leading you to the kitchen, he placed you on the counter and then went to open a bottle. After pouring you both glasses, he brought yours over. Taking a sip, you leaned your head back a little savoring the perfectly sweet red - your favorite.

“Why’d you pick this?” You questioned.

“You seemed like a red kind of girl, and you definitely tasted sweet at the the bar so I figured that’s what you liked,” he answered with a wink.

Finishing off the glass, you set it down and grabbed onto the belt loop of his pants.

“I’m not always that sweet,” you whispered, while looking down to his lips.

He took the cue and pressed his lips to yours once more. You went to work, unbuttoning Josh’s shirt and pushing it off his thick shoulders. It could’ve been seconds or minutes you two spent kissing, but it didn’t stop until you both needed a deep breath.

Taking the time to soak Josh in, you realized just how huge this guy was. With thick shoulders and arms and a solid muscular stomach, he made you feel tiny.

Pulling you off the counter, you wrapped your legs around his waste and Josh carried you to his room. Turning the lights on to a dim setting that wasn’t too bright, he set you down.

Sticking with the theme of the night, you were more brave than normal and pushed him up against the wall. Your hands dropped to his jeans, working to get them down his hips while leaning up to give him a kiss.

You pushed his boxer briefs down next and his cock sprang free. The sight of it made your panties pool and mouth water.

Dropping down your knees, you gripped the base of his cock in your hand and kissed his stomach along the way. Starting out slow, you leaned in to press a kiss on the left side of the base of his cock, finding a sensitive spot.

Leaning back, you started to pump your hand slowly and lick the tip of his cock.

“Fuck,” Josh hissed out when his hips jolted.

Taking this as a cue to go further, you wrapped your lips around him and started to work the length into your mouth.

Feeling comfortable with his size, you peeked up at him through your lashes. The sight of his face twisted with pleasure made you moan around his cock.

Your mouth needed a break so your wrapped both hands around him and focused on the tip with your mouth.

Moving faster, you could feel him start to tighten so you went for the final thing to bring him over the edge. Reaching both hands to the back of his thighs, you took as much of his cock into your mouth, moving quickly.

“Oh God, (Y/N), I’m going to come if you don’t stop,” Josh groaned out.

“Come in my mouth Josh,” you moaned, giving him permission.

You could feel his thighs tightening and knew he was going to come. Working faster, you brought a hand to his balls to bring him over the edge.

Josh pulled tighter on your hair and shot into your mouth in warm spurts, grunting out your name loudly.

“Fuuuuuck (Y/N),” you heard him moan out.

You sucked the last drop off of him and then released him from your mouth on a pop. Standing up for your own turn, you leaned forward along the way to press a few more kisses to his solid stomach.

“Mmmm Josh, that was fucking hot,” you mumbled between kisses.

Giving him some time to come down from his high, you reached forward to kiss and suck on his neck. After a few moments, you felt him come back to life and he started to undo your pants. Pushing them down your thighs, you were left in just your baby blue lingerie bodysuit.

“Sweet Jesus, you’re trying to kill me,” he groaned out at the sight.

This gave you a boost of confidence and you slowly backed away from him towards the head. Keeping eye contact, you reached up to push the straps of your lingerie down. Josh’s gaze heated and he looked ready to pounce, but he continued to watch what you would do.

When the backs of your legs hit the bed, you pulled the whole ensemble down. Picking it up, you threw it to where you jeans laid on the ground in front of Josh’s feet.

Josh’s cock had already begun to harden in your silent stand-off. Looking back up at him, you made his control snap with a small smirk. In two steps he closed the distance and was throwing you back on the bed.

“Josh!” You squealed, loving his reaction.

“Do you know how sexy you are?” Josh pushed, while reaching his hand to find out how soaking wet you were. “Fuck, your pussy is drenched.”

Josh began to rub your clit with the pad of his thumb, causing you to moan loudly. He started to suck at your neck, surely leaving marks, and pushed two fingers into you.

“Ohhhhhhh,” you breathed out load.

“That’s right baby, ride your pussy on my hand,” Josh demanded as your hips moved to the rhythm of his hand.

Suddenly the pressure was gone and you groaned out annoyingly.

“Josh please,” you mewled, but he was already kissing his way down your stomach.

With a look up to see you impatiently watching him, he licked up through your folds. Josh blew out a cool stream of air on your clit and you threw your head back and bucked your hips.

“(Y/N) sit still,” he demanded and pushed down on your hips with an arm.

Latching onto your clit, he went to work teasing, sucking and nibbling. There were too many sensations at once and you felt a burn start in your legs.

“That’s it baby,” he praised between his assaults.

Josh kept up the pace and fucked two fingers into you. The pleasure was too much and it pushed you over the edge.

“Fuck Josh, I’m coming,” you moaned out on a breath, while grinding your hips into his mouth.

Josh finished his assaults and crawled back up your body, giving you a deep kiss so you could taste yourself on his tongue.

“Condom, now,” you demanded on a moan.

Josh reached over to his bedside table and grabbed one, handing it to you. You tore the package and rolled the condom over his hard cock.

“I wanna see you ride me, that ok baby?” He asked while already grabbing your hips to flip you on top of him.

You were intimidated since he was so big, but his request turned you on too much to say no. Reaching down, you grabbed the base of his cock and guided it to your entrance.

Slowly, you sank down onto his cock, giving yourself time to adjust to his size. With one hand on his stomach, you could barely breath when you were seated to the hilt.

“Give me a second to adjust and I’ll move,” you breathed out to him.

“Fuck (Y/N),” he groaned, licking his lips.

Finally feeling ready to move, you started to slowly work his cock by rocking back and forth. The pace was killing you both, just enough to tease.

On a moan, You raised yourself onto your toes and then crashed back down hard.

“Baby, keep doing that,” Josh begged.

Steadying yourself with your hands on his stomach, you continued to bounce up and down on his cock at a steady pace. The angle perfectly hit your clit and soon you found yourself clawing at Josh.

“Raise up on your knees (Y/N),” Josh told you.

Josh grabbed onto your sides, lifting you a little and making a bridge with his hips. He flattened his feet against the mattress and fucked himself up into your pussy.

“Oh God, Josh keep going please,” you whined.

At this angle you could bend forward to kiss him, so you leaned down and latched onto his lips with a moan.

“I’m close (Y/N),” Josh breathed out.

Needing an extra push over the edge, you reached down and started rubbing your clit in circles. The sensations on your clit and Josh slamming into you were too much and you crashed over the edge.

“Joshhhhh,” you moaned loudly, milking his cock with your pussy.

“Fuuuckkkkk,” he grunted, and you could feel his cock spasming in you.

Stilling on top of him, you took a few deep breaths. After a moment when you finally felt like air was reaching your lungs, you rolled off of Josh.

Holy fuck, where had that come from? You were not the sexy girl who went home with a random guy, let alone having hot sex like that. You didn’t even know a single thing about this guy except for his name. You’d barely known Josh for five minutes and he made you feel more sexy than your ex had in years of dating.

“(Y/N), stop thinking so much. I can hear it all the way over here,” Josh chuckled to himself.

“How’d you know I was thinking too hard?” You questioned Josh.

“Your muscles tensed up and I could see crease on your face,” he explained while running his fingers across your eyebrows to smooth the skin out.

“Be right back,” Josh got off the bed and padded to an attached bathroom.

What do you even do now? You definitely weren’t gonna be the girl who stayed and expected breakfast, but do you leave right now? This had been the best sex of your life, and you wouldn’t mind having more but you needed time to think.

Coming back a minute later, he had new boxer briefs on and a wash rag. Bending over to you, he wiped up between your thighs.

“Uh thanks,” you told him, not really sure what to say. Rolling off the bed, you went to search for your body suit and jeans.

“Where are you going so fast?” He questioned with a confused look on his face.

“Well I’m going home,” you answered dryly.

“Oh ok, let me get dressed and I’ll take you,” Josh offered as he got off the bed looking for pants.

“Josh, really it’s fine. I’m a big girl and I know what this was,” you said, heading out of his bedroom to find your jacket before you could hear an answer.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw it thrown on the ground along with Josh’s shirt. Shrugging it on, you picked up his shirt and folded it neatly on the counter. Turning around to leave you saw Josh was standing in the hallway blocking your escape route.

“Do you really have to go so soon?” Josh pushed, not letting you past.

“Yeah, uh I have class in the morning and I’m sure you do too so I need to go,” you answered looking up at him. His cheeks were still flushed from his orgasms and his hair was a mess.

“Alright well then let me at least get your number,” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Josh I had fun, lots of fun,” you said, which caused Josh to chuckle. “But let’s not make this into something more than it is. All we know is each other’s names, and if we push that it’ll ruin our fun night. Let’s just leave it at this.”

Reaching up, you gave him a kiss on the lips. Using his shocked reaction as an advantage, you moved around him and headed to the door.

“See you around I guess,” Josh mumbled, but you were already out the door.

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

Hey! A bit ago I saw that you were wondering if anyone was interested in a tutorial on dialogue?? And I just wanted to say that I would totally love to learn how to write dialogue/banter like you do, if you’re still interested in creating that tutorial of course

Hi yes of course I’m still interested!! But before I jump in, let me say that this is by no means a be-all-end-all, and this is just what works for me. If it works for other people, that’s great! If it doesn’t, that’s totally valid! Maybe this could be a jumping off point for other pieces of advice, idk. But anyway, let’s gooooo

Okay so I’m gonna be pulling out a bad example of my own writing, and a good example for each point, which is extra but will hopefully show the differences, & I’ll be doing it without putting anyone else down so yeet!

SAY IT OUT LOUD, MAKE SURE IT FLOWS, MAKE SURE IT MAKES SENSE

Another point to this one is, can you imagine real life people saying it? If the answer is no, then you gotta rework it. If the answer is yes, then yay!

Otherwise I’m not really sure how to explain this. Making sure it makes sense is easy enough, and saying it out loud is too, but making sure it flows is different. What I do for this is maybe not the best advice, but I use less periods. Commas, dashes, and ellipses keep it from being choppy. Also, adding words/phrases such as ‘well’, ‘like’, ‘I mean’, ‘uh/um/er/etc’ can help connect sentences/thoughts together in a realistic way.

BAD EXAMPLE:

“Bruce shrugged. “I knew, but didn’t realize, I guess. I’ve known he was young since I first learned about him.”

Clint, who was blanching, said, “he looks like a kid. Or an underage father. Think about what he had to go through as a kid, though."” - posted on July 1st, 2014

Why it’s bad: (Ignoring the horrible blocking dskljflksdf)

It doesn’t flow! Bruce’s line here feels just a little off, probably bc I was trying to put information where it shouldn’t have been (more on that later), but even without the second sentence, it’s still off. Time to reword, then; I’d change it to “I learned about it when I was studying him, but I kinda…forgot.” Idk about yall, but I can see Mark Ruffalo saying this, shrugging sheepishly. This flows a lot better and in my experience, it’s more likely someone would say this instead of “I didn’t realize, I guess”.

Clint’s lines should be combined, and there should be some diction added in. “He looks almost like a kid, or like, an underage father. God, think about what he had to go through!” Way less choppy & has some rhythm to it, instead of sounding like a robot is saying it.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

““Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night.”

“It’s not weird,” Sam denies immediately, “You just don’t appreciate it.”

“Why would I appreciate—” Steve reads carefully off his screen, “—Buzzfeed’s ‘Which Possible Illuminati Member Are You?’ quiz?”

“Because everyone thinks you’re in the Illuminati anyway, so why not see if you get yourself, you know?”

“Okay, but at four am? What were you even doing up that early?”” - posted on March 2nd, 2019

Why it’s good:

This is one of those I suggest reading out loud to understand the flow. Banter, at least in this case, is like slapstick comedy, and it’s gotta go back and forth without going way off course (unless that’s the desired effect!). Steve says something, Sam picks something specific to react to & adds a comment that makes it seem like they’ve maybe had this conversation before, and from there, they pass the rhythm to each other. Going from the second-to-last to the last lines is part of the flow; Sam makes a point that Steve doesn’t want to refute, so he continues it in another way. “Okay, but” is like the hinge connecting one flow to another. I’m just talking in circles now but anYWAY THIS IS BACK AND FORTH.

TRY TO FIT THE CHARACTER

Think specifically about the character, and if it sounds like something they would say or not. That’s kinda hard at times, so just make sure you aren’t having them say things you can definitely NOT imagine them saying. I’m gonna go with Batman because we all know him enough to know what he absolutely would never ever say.

BAD EXAMPLE:

Batman says, “And I was like, ‘oh my god, is this serious? You’re just turning yourself in?’ And he said ‘hell yeah I am!’ and I almost died from the shock!”

Why it’s bad: 

Batman is a character who doesn’t ramble and wouldn’t retell an event like this (by paraphrasing it & recounting exact exchanges). He’s a very stoic person, and this whole thing is more emotionally open and telling than he would be comfortable with. And while this flows, I can’t picture him saying it unless it’s a heavily AU’d version, which is generally not what you want.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

Batman says, “The Joker turned himself in last night. I assume he’s planning something, something big if he’s willing to go to Arkham for it.”

Why it’s good: 

This is a lot more subtle with the emotions, and a lot more monotonous, which is what Batman would probably want to sound like when recounting an event like this. He WANTS to sound like a textbook or police report, which are serious and straight to the point. But he can still add his thoughts into the mix, e.g. “something big…”, which shows how he’s kind of surprised and is thinking about what it means.

YA CAN’T ALWAYS INPUT INFORMATION INTO THE DIALOGUE

Sometimes you really want or need to share some information with the readers, and an easy way to do that is with dialogue, right? Sometimes! This, like everything else, hinges on flow & the realisticness of the words. Some pieces of info need to be conveyed through thoughts or actions, and some of it just shouldn’t be shared, no matter how much you might want to include it.

BAD EXAMPLE:

“Bonnie asked, “so…Original vampire? What does that mean, exactly? If you don’t mind my asking, I mean.”

“It means that my siblings and I were turned into the very first vampires after the death of my youngest brother. Also turned were my father, sister-in-law, and nephew. All vampires in existence come from us.”” - posted on March 6th, 2017

Why it’s bad: 

The OG vampire in question here is Elijah, and while it makes sense for the character to quickly summarize it, it doesn’t flow. He would probably react firstly to Bonnie’s last sentence, then answer more concisely, “It means that my family and I are the first vampires in existence.” Maybe with an additional comment about them being the source of all other vampires, but not much more. Being so specific chops up the rhythm and makes it harder to understand, almost, ‘cause that’s a lot of people to keep in consideration.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

““What are you talking about, Kev?” Cheryl sets her phone down, the picture of fully-invested. “Schools don’t just shut down in one day.”

Kevin flops into the other chair, breathing calmed for the most part. “Apparently they do. Dad told me they arrested a teacher there for selling Jingle Jangle to students, and when they were going through his office they found meth. The basement was being used as a meth lab. The whole thing’s being quarantined and shut down until further notice.”” - posted on August 2nd, 2018

Why it’s good: 

It flows!!! For being secondhand information, it’s clear enough to understand without bombarding readers with extremely specific details. It reads almost like an online article, with enough feeling to make it interesting, while still explaining exactly what’s happened.

DIFFERENT MOODS/DYNAMICS

Something to think about when writing dialogue is what mood your characters are in, and what kind of relationship they have with the character(s) they’re talking to. If person A is in a bad mood and talking to someone they like, they might try to tamp down on the mood in order to be nice. If person B is in a great mood and talking to a stranger, they might be pretty exuberant and friendly. Etc etc. Gonna use Superman as an example (this is extremely cheesy but it shows the difference).

BAD EXAMPLE: (Mood)

Extremely annoyed, Superman tells Lex Luthor, “Lex, you’re crazy! Trying to take over Metropolis with a hair growing scheme is just stupid! I’m leaving!”

He goes on to his date with Lois, now as Clark Kent, and says with a smile, “Sorry I’m fifty-seven minutes late, Lex kept me at work! Anyway, how was your day?”

Why it’s bad: 

Okay I know this is cheesy I’m sorry I wrote this at 2 am last night lkdjflksjdfhskjdfhjashf ANYWAY. Superman goes from talking to Lex, who he doesn’t like and is quite annoyed with, to talking to Lois, who he does like and presumably isn’t annoyed with at all. The problem here is that you usually can’t turn moods off like a switch. Even though Superman likes Lois, he wouldn’t walk into the date perfectly happy. The annoyance from dealing with Lex would stay with him (though it would probably fade the longer the date went on). I think instead of smiling, he would be rolling his eyes a little and complaining like, “I swear, he’s so inconsiderate….”, instead of immediately jumping into “how was your day?”

GOOD EXAMPLE: (Dynamic)

Superman laughs as Robin does a flip off his shoulder. “Good job! Maybe next time we could try it from a little higher up,” he winks.

Robin cheers, “Yes! Thanks, Uncle Clark!”

Superman nods and leaves, finding Batman in the hallway. Seriously, he says, “Batman.”

“Superman.”

“Did you get your report done? They’re due by this afternoon.”

Why it’s good: 

Again with the cheese that’s my bad lmao. This is mostly to show that characters are gonna sound different when speaking to different people. When talking to Robin, who is a child and quite a friendly one at that, Superman is teasing and joking around. Then, when he talks to Batman, who’s a grown man and also his coworker, he’s more serious and to the point. Both situations fit his character but show he’s got different relationships with different people.

IN CONCLUSION, uhhhhh yeah follow these points and hopefully dialogue will come a little easier. Experiment and have fun with it (these aren’t rules, but guidelines!), and if there are any questions I’m happy to clear them up/answer them/whatever lol.

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 49 - end

Full video here.

Ch 49: eventually the world breaks everyone

Oranges and deep water again.

She says he can tell her anything “my words aren’t sexy or slick but they are sincere” and I said “aw” out loud

Jaxon killed Hudson!

She says she didn’t believe he meant to and he’s like intentions don’t matter when you can do this and then starts destroying the room

Jaxon is now the soon to be vampire king after killing Hudson

“No one is as powerful as me”

Hudson wanted to get mo money mo power

He literally paraphrases Jurassic park here: he got so wrapped up in the could that he didn’t think about if hen should

Hudson wanted to put the shifters in their place - and then anyone who wasn’t a born vampire - and jaxon considered that genocide

Hudson’s power was mind control

His pain makes her ache more than she even ached for her dead parents who just died last month wtf?!

So people wanna hurt grace because “you’re mine” as jaxon puts it

“We’re balancing on a razor thin tightrope, and every minute is a balancing act.” READ IT OUT LOUD GODDAMN IT

“You wear indifference like a mask, you wield coldness like a weapon.” No one in the history of the world talks like this, especially not someone who was just saying “af and fml” 10 chapters ago 

Ch 50: people who live in stone towers should never throw dragons

They have a real sexy kiss

Jaxon believes flint is trying to kill her!!!! Which yeah now knowing that jaxon killed flints brother or was the reason he died rather, makes sense! Except flint seems to like her too??

Jaxon pushed flint out of the tree under grace

Then they kissing AGAIN SHE IN HIS LAP!!!!!

Her uncle shows up and she tried to fix herself in the mirror but there isn’t one lol

She asks how he can see himself and he says “selfie anyone?” And I throw up

She just referenced baby yoda. G2g

“Thanks for rushing to let me in” “grace had to get her clothes back on” asshole but also lmao

Ch 51: trial by dragon fire

We’re reading hamlet again…

She confronts flint and flint calls jaxon a tick lmaooooo

“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to kill me?” “It’s not for the reasons you think, if you would just trust me” - SIR THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT

We love Mickey so much

Flint doesn’t wanna talk to grace in front of a vampire

Ch 52: if you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

She’s in the tunnel with Mickey and she realizes how much safer she feels with him than flint

She’s realized that her intuition is heightened here you mean that thing you were ignoring this entire book??

Mickey reiterates that Grace is a target because Jaxon cares about her which makes what he was saying about a target on her back make a lot more sense

Mickey pretty much confirms what Jackson said about Hudson so we get to hear it all over again

Leah shows up and her and Mickey don’t like each other

Leah says I’d say bite me but I don’t know where you’ve been and Mickey replies I would catch rabies if I bit you LOL

She hugs Mickey and Mickey pats her head like a dog lmaooooooo

Leah says making plans is not Jackson’s modus operandi instead of just saying his MO like a normal person

She texts him “I like it when you bite” and he replies “good because I like the way you taste” and I threw up in my mouth

Not to mention the fact that she immediately texted Jackson that she would go to his room tonight when she seconds before that agreed to hang out with Leah who is clearly grieving and needs a friend...which is not grace

Ch 53: if this kiss is gonna start a war it may as well be worth it

Grace is getting ready to go to Jackson’s room for their date and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the extremely lax rules regarding girls and boys and every other gender being allowed in each others room it doesn’t make sense why is everyone not pregnant

She puts on one of Macy’s dresses and Macy tugs it down to get it over her “ridiculous curves“ She described her own curves as ridiculous and I am all for being body positive but saying you have a banging ass is a little much

Macy says that grace “lusts after Jackson’s sexy sexy body”

I will say that I am 100% here for the sex positivity rather than the tortured virgin shit we dealt with for all of the twilight series

Ch 54: what could possibly be more interesting than kissing me?

It’s the northern lights!!!!!!

“Wrapping his arms around me so that I am snuggled up in the blanket and his arms“ once again for the love of God read it out loud and realize that using the same word that close in one sentence is clunky and distracting please

She says they kiss “until the colors behind my eyes are brighter than the aurora borealis, until it feels like I’m flying“

He takes her like 100 feet above the castle so that they feel like they’re within the northern lights

And they stay up there for a long time and again I just want to know why he wasn’t just a witch I don’t understand

She says Jackson drops kisses on her eyes that’s not how that works

He gives her a necklace with an Aurora borealis stone how cute!

She says “it’s beautiful” and he says “then you’re well matched” which is so cute and then she says “oh my god you’re sappy” and he says “well you’re ridiculously beautiful”

and again we were so close and then we tripped at the finish line

He makes her tea to warm her up (Leah’s tea aw they’re making amends)

He sex bites her again, she begs for it

And then loses his shit?!?

Ch 55: no use crying over spilled tea

So he bit her and drank a lot of her blood because she’s super woozy and she’s like I got to get out of here not so I can live but because if he kills me he will feel really bad about it self-preservation has left the chat

She runs into Leah and Leah smacks the shit out of her and then tells her to sit down...what?!

I thought Leah poisoned the tea earlier in the book I am calling it now that she put something in the tea to make Jackson lose his shit

Leah pulls out a gun and shoots Jackson…

Ch 56: vampire girl gone wild

Leah shoots her with the gun

Ch 57: double double toil and a whole lotta trouble

I’m just gonna say that the moment Leah mentioned that she and Jackson were supposed to carry on an ancient vampire alliance by being together that Grace should have known not to fuck with Leah on any level

Grace wakes up tied to some kind of slab

“For the first time I understand why an animal caught in a trap would be willing to chew its own foot off” but then she continues it with more long winded explanation of what that means when that would’ve been a very powerful line to just leave on its own conveying her desperation

She gets a hand free, then the other, the one ankle, then she hears Leah scream

She’s super woozy and trying to escape but she hears Leah screaming and fighting with someone and she decides to go see if it’s Jackson if he needs her help... how in the fuck are you going to help anybody, Grace

The candles all light at once

Ch 58: never do a trust fall with someone who can fly

There’s a dragon after her!

So for some reason the author decided to take any sort of tension/ horror/ fear out of this section and just ramble on and on about “I’m really tired of getting dragged around by supernatural creatures and San Diego never seemed so far away” just focus on the terror this could be really really scary being flown around in a dragons talons while a vampire chases after you

They fall and she hurts her shoulder

“And here I thought Alaska would be boring” you know what is boring? this entire chapter because instead of letting me the reader sit in the terror and tension of a dragon vampire battle you keep making fucking little quips and remarks like...she’s a human being she should be afraid not like irritated by the situation

Leah punches a hole through flints wing ouch

“The tunnel that will take me back to the school’s main building, the tunnel that will take me back to Katmere“ that’s the same sentence twice John Mulaney voice

Flint stops her from leaving: Leah killed her parents to get her here, for some kind of end the world ritual, that jaxon is involved

Flint starts choking her “you have to die before she can finish this”

Ch 59: carpe killem

No!

Jaxon gets flint off grace via tk

“He just stares down a freaking dragon like it’s a gecko”

Leah catches up with her

Ch 60: some call it paranoia but I call it an evil bitch trying to use you as a sacrifice

….that’s a paragraph

“Which dazes my already not functioning so great brain” i’m not gonna say it again read your writing out loud

Leah is dragging her by her hair and she’s like if I survive this I hope I’m not bald afterward...that’s what you’re worried about??

As she’s being walked down this Secret hallway by Leah she’s getting more and more mad thinking about how Leah killed her parents and is playing God with her life now and I’m just wondering why does she just believe Flint out of nowhere?

She says FML and Leah’s too

She smashes Leah’s head on the altar and goes for the book on the altar, and burns the spell

Ch 61: sticks and stones may break your bones, but vampires will kill you

Leah wants to bring Hudson back by killing grace, who she says is not human

Jaxon gets in

We use the word sickening 4 times during one fight scene, casual

Ch 62: where there’s smoke, there’s a dead vampire

She breathes in the black Hudson smoke but jaxon stops her

Jaxon creates like a vortex to absorb it instead

He throws it at Leah and she turns to dust?!

She gives him her blood because he’s practically dead

Ch 63: a bite to remember

Gooooo fuck yaself

She’s been asleep in the infirmary for 2 days

He’s feeling all angsty about drinking so much of her blood

His mom left the scar on his face not Hudson

They say they love each other but he says he doesn’t think this can work because there’s still gonna be people who want to hurt her because of him

But she’s able to kind of convince him to let himself be loved

Ch 64: all’s well that ends with marshmallows

Civil twilight AGAIN

they go into the forest and drink hot cocoa

So the school only serves animal blood, which allows the vampires to go out during the day, but if they drink human blood, they can only come out at night

And he explains it like an insulin spike, except a spike in a hormone that makes it impossible for him to be in the sun

They’re out there to build a snowman

“Openly checking out his very fine ass” EW jimmy fallon voice

Ch 65: why can’t a girl just have an ordinary HEA these days?

“Hey you didn’t tell me the punchline of the pirate joke”

Suddenly Hudson is there with a sword, and she turns jaxon so she’s between him and the sword and this happens in like 3 sentences

Ch 66: zero - she persisted - Jaxon

Grace has turned into…?

A gargoyle!?!?!?!?

Because she’s trying to trap Hudson or keep him at bay?

And jaxon vows to save her

We used all of the fucks allowed in this one chapter, for sure

What the fuuuuuuuck