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#motha fucka
npd-claus · 2 months
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He died for our sins
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yum-zlurplie · 7 months
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-A cloaked figure entered the store, walking up to the counter. They were carrying a small stack of papers.-
"Excuse me?"
why do you need. pleaze make it quick.
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mercuryal · 2 years
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at what point am I just trying to nuke my own twitter account?
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[ x ]
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vintagesoul1975 · 2 years
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Now if Barry Gibb comes out with something in the near future I will legit be one happy ass bitch
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doegirlsnogging · 2 years
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jacalliope · 4 months
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I’m on my hater arc
Fuck Dylan I’m the blue jacket boy/j
BE ON THAT HATER ARC HOMIE/silly
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faeola · 1 year
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to think my happiness depended on my sobriety and solitude how fast it was to get mixed up in unhappy how long it took to undo to come into myself
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andyelson · 2 years
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John looks like hes gonna fall over.
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pjackk · 11 months
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Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away
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Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋
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npd-claus · 3 months
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braindeadmaggot · 2 years
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🌚
It literally said "Now accepting curious anonymous messages 🌚"
Is that all you got???
Also today is a waxing gibbous so you have failure twice 🌔
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a headcanon where genshin bois broke up with you but saw you years later with thier child at 3 yeares old? Scara, xiao, zhongli and tighnari
Oh, you have an evil soul, I know that for sure. You want suffering, oh you drink my tears as coffee, I like you. I'll have fun with this one a bit. Also, sorry for the spelling errors, I try to fix them when I see them, however, I tend to type wayyy to fast. Or messy.
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Scaramouche: ══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══
You guys broke up because at some point in the relationship, it was getting too overwhelming, and toxic.
Scaramouche outbursts or his snide remarks became a ticking time bomb for you.
It was hard for you to feel loved at this point, and apparently it was hard for him to show it because he wanted to be stubborn.
The breaking point was where you came to him, head to head, this was going to determine your break up with him.
"Say something nice about me, say you love me, say anything, please do anything." You were pleading. You didn't want to leave but, it was starting to get to you.
His response? "What is wrong with you? Are you some kind of child?"
That was it, you broke up with him. This made his jaw drop, of course he protested, he grabbed you a lot, yelled at you. But you finally got free and left him, you went into hiding because he wasn't going to give up.
Along the way, you found out that you were pregnant, with twin boys, with his kids. In your head, you are like "How???" since he is a puppet.
Years later, your two little boys are grown and they are playful happy innocent toddlers. They were holding your hands and laughing. They both had Scaramouche face, but a happy and child like face.
You were happy, until you backed up a tiny bit and bumped into someone. You turned and saw it was Scaramouche.
You immediately panicked and picked up both of your boys and held your weapon to his face.
"W-What is this...? Who are they??" He was angry already and confused. He didn't understand why there are two little him. Was he being replaced, by better versions of himself. He grabbed her shoulder and shook her and yelled at him.
"They're your sons!" You yelled and cried, You pushed him and took her books and ran away.
He was left behind stunned, after a few minutes, he clenched his hands into fist. If you want him to be apart of the twin's life, you need to be patient. He will take a while to come around, and he will be difficult about it.
However, when he does, he becomes the most protective father, he would shield them from the past he had. He would never abandon him, he would teach them his bad attitude as way for them to stand up for themselves.
He won't admit it, but he grew fond of his boys because he felt they were children, just as him, and they understood him despite not realizing it.
As for you though, he still has issues getting along with you and would pick fights with you. He is sometimes loving but you are a little drained.
Xiao ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅──── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅──── ⋅✩
You guys broke up peacefully, you both agreed it was for the best, he can't provide for your mortal needs and you have nothing to offer a troubled Adepti
You two parted always peacefully.
A few months later, your belly was getting swollen, but you had no idea why, after all, there is no way you could give birth to a half adeptus and half mortal right?
Well surprising motha fucka, nature is fucked up.
You were surprised and stressed, you don't know how to take care of a baby who is half Yaksha. How do you handle Karmic Debt?
Like does he poop spirits or dreams?
Once you gave birth, you realized the little girl had his dad's Yaksha marks on her arm and his diamond on her forehead. She had his green hair.
Overtime, you ended up figuring it out, thanks to taking care of Xiao time to time, you are aware of the child's needs more than enough.
You are dealing with a teleporting Child who can throw a tantrum to the size of a stadium but you have your ways.
Years ahead, you were feeding your little girl food ordered from Wanshu inn. You wanted her to enjoy the best of the best.
What you didn't know is that Xiao was watching, he was horrified, one for that he isn't the only Yaksha anymore and moreso, that this little girl looked like him, had his demon slayer markings.
You let your little girl use the bathroom, as you waited outside for her, guarding the door to prevent anyone from entering. You wanted her to be more independent in public places, this was one way.
This was Xiao chance to catch you alone, he appeared in front of you, he was very close to you, and you jolted and got scared.
"Who....Who is that little girl?" He looked into your eyes, scared but wanted to know more.
You stuttered a bit. "U-Um..."
He comes closer to you where your chest his touching his chest. "Tell me now." He asked sternly. He was upset of course, because why did she never tell him? They never had much fights but he at least deserved to know.
You felt a hug on your leg and crying. "M-Mama!" It was your little girl. You immediately picked her up and began to comfort her. "Shh, it's okay, mommy is okay."
Xiao immediately backed away, guilt was heavy on his chest, he never meant to scare....her.
You sighed and showed her to him. "Little one, do you know who is this?"
Your little girl will mostly by shy and scared of him, and Xiao will immediately show sadness to this, however, with your encouragement, she would try her best to look at Xiao. "This is your father, sweeite."
Your little girl touches Xiao's face and Xiao blushes and smiles, as he can't help it when it comes to little hands on his face.
He was hesitant at first but, he gently put his hands up and looked at you for consent.
You nodded and smiled, he passed your little girl over to him, where your little girl became his too. Your little girl naturally snuggled into his neck, sucking her thumb as Xiao shushes and coo's her gently.
As soon as Xiao held this little girl, he immediately sworn to protect her with his life, and held her protectively. He looked at you and placed his arm around your back and pulled you in for a group hug.
He asked if he could talk to you on what he can do to fix the relationship with you, and what can he do more as a father. He immediately fell in love with you little girl and even if you don't get back together, he would often visit, with presents, he would take her with him when you need breaks. He is a good dad, with co parenting or not.
Zhongli ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
You guys broke up because you just happened to not feel connected anymore. You guys just fell out.
You guys lived in differently eras and world and its hard to connect with him on some things.
You guys never really had a fight, but you used to talk everyday and now, you guys barely talk at all, touch each other or even just, try.
Zhongli brought this to your attention, and he isn’t a time waster, so and he doesn’t want to waste your time, so you guys broke up and moved on.
Until few months later, you found you that you were pregnant, you were in between telling him or not, but you realize that he is on vacation...he wants a break, so you kept this to yourself.
You raised his son by yourself, he looked exactly like you, but his powers are no doubt Zhongli's, and his dragon habits and nature as well.
You were eating out with your wonderful son, he was running around and saying hello to everyone until he ran into Zhongli. He bummed into Zhongli and fell back.
Zhongli looked down and offered a hand and kind smile. "Are you okay, little friend?" The little boy smiles cheerfully and took his hand and got up.
Once you came and bend your knees to check for wounds and see if he is okay, Zhongli was surprised and would greet you. You would greet him back and you would smile at him, while picking your son up.
However, once Zhongli saw the little boy do his dragon habits such as teething, or biting your shirt, he recognized it immediately.
At first he won't say anything and would act like nothing happen, he actually wait for you to reveal it.
However, once you didn't and you were gonna leave him, he immediately grabbed your shoulder, and will call you out. "This child...he is mine kin isn't he? Why weren't you willing to reveal this to me?"
Zhongli wants to be in this kid's life, he wants to pass down his knowledge and memories to him, he wants to teach him everything, this was new to him but he wants to be responsible.
Despite how harsh it is, a child between two lovers is a contract where they both need to parent, and he is happy to do it. He would really want to show his son the world and his victories.
Tighnari ── •✧• ──── •✧• ──── •✧• ──── •✧• ──
There would be two reason why you and Tighnari break up, one would be because he was too busy to even be in your life, and second would be that his scolding makes it hard for you to connect with him, as he was too nitpicky at the smallest things. This can be at small things such as how you handle things like chores, to bigger things like how you store items to quest to other things.
Things ended sadly, not miserable but, just it was sad and heartbreaking. It was hard to move on, the relationship you guys had was different but special.
You found out you were pregnant at a doctor check up one day, also because Sumeru had free healthcare so why not go to doctors as a hobby :)
You were freaking out, how do you take care of a fennec fox hybrid? What do they even eat? Should you only feed them veggies? Or feed them meat as well?
A lot of things were running in your head.
Years later, you got accustomed to your little girl, you groomed her tail and ears, and fed her what she liked.
You often go on walks in Sumeru forest, you wanted her to be in touch with her fox side. You want her to be free.
You patted her head, as you held her hand and walk, you stopped by a beautiful waterfall and watched. Your little girl was playing in the water.
Tighnari was behind you, stunned, he was processing, he already put two and two together, since he is a smartass from the smartass skool.
You turned around and jolted. "O-Oh, y-you are here..." You were startled.
It took him a few minutes to look at you and back at the little girl. His ears flopped a bit as she slowly pointed at the little girl speechless.
You sigh and nodded, knowing you can't outsmart him or lie to him.
You went to take your little girl's hand and brought her to him.
Tighnari kneeled down and took a good look at her, despite never meeting her, he knew, this little girl was his.
He would questioned and ask if you were a single mother and if you are seeing anyone, and would ask if maybe he can try being in her life, however he is just as busy, but he thought maybe take her on walks with him.
You were fine with it either way, you desire nothing from him though, if he wanted to be in your daughter's life, that's fine, but you want nothing to do with him.
He noticed this and felt conflicted.
Overtime, he would try and get you to trust him again, spend time with you and her as a family, but you would refuse and keep your distance.
Tighnari would be frustrated and sad over it, you can tell that his tail was losing hair, he understands why you refuse to take him back but Fennec Foxes mate for life.
It's in his nature, he wants to be dedicated to you, and he is becoming stressed from the rejection from you.
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You dip shit cock sucka motha fuckas got ANOTHA FUCKIN THING COMIN
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icequeenlila · 1 year
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And the award for most protective girlfriend goes to:
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"I know he's an idiot, but he's my idiot. One more word, I'll cut your throat."
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"My mans got captured. Fingers off him, I found him first! Keep him away from Ninat, he's mine!"
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"You touch him you die. Lights out, motha fucka!"
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"You dare insult my hubby? Ma Jake, hold my ear rings!"
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"Rawr!'
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"Try me, bitch!"
+
Don't mess with her idiot. She will end your existence.
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jedi-luca · 1 year
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Avenger Lane Chapter 10: Bad Romance
Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 
Parings: Quinn Fabray x Reader / eventual Natasha x Reader(slow burn)
Warnings: Reader has a Penis, mentions of drug use
Previous Chapter. Next chapter
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You were sound asleep when the door busted open. You gasped, jolting awake still half asleep.
“Oh my gosh!” Quinn gasped, falling out of bed thankful you both had clothes on.
“Happy boythday papa!” Finley beamed holding a cup cake and Beth holding breakfast.
“Aw thanks sugar booger.” You say sleepily as your daughters climb up in bed.
“Mom, can you light it please?” Beth urged her mom handing her the lighter.
“Hmhm.” Quinn blinked awake taking the cup cake and setting it on Beth’s table. 
Finley climbed up on the bed with a huge smile on her face. “Papa, it’s your boythday! Yayyyyy!” She clapped.
“Hmhm.” You yawned, smiling.
Quinn smiled sleepily as she and the girls began singing happy birthday.
“And many more on channel 4, and scooby do on channel 2, and a big fat lady on channel 80, and all the rest on CBS!” Beth giggled, finishing along with a great attempt from her little sister.
“Aw thank you sweets.” You smiled, kissing all of your girls on the cheek. 
You lift the cinnamon waffle and give your daughters a piece as well as your wife before eating yours.
“Hmmm tasty!” Finley hummed.
“I’m still hungry… I think I need a little girl to eat!” You began tickling Finley and Beth’s laughter filling the house. 
Quinn recorded all of it on her phone and posted it on social media. Where your neighbor Natasha just watched. You looked so happy and so did the girls. The secret Tony gave her is eating her up inside.
Nat turned her head seeing you snuggling with your family as you all watched a movie.
‘Ugh how am I supposed to tell Y/N?’ she thought to herself.
⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗
So far your birthday was going great. You spoke to your parents for a while, leaving out the tidbit of Quinn getting pregnant. You were coming back from dinner after dropping off your daughters with their aunt when you opened the front door.
“SURPRISE!!!!” 
You jolted in place, placing a hand over your heart with a grin. “Aww guys!” They’re were streamers everywhere and a large banner that read ‘Happy Birthday’
“Surprise motha fucka!” Santana and Brittany jumped you.
“Oof!” You felt the air leave your lungs feeling Santana give you a hug.
“Happy birthday best friend.” Mike smiled, taking the next hug.
“Thanks man.” You grinned.
Soon the gleeks all hugged you at once finally allowing your new found friends to get in on the love.
First Tony, the Barton’s, Steve, Peggy, and Bucky of course. Thor lifts you up along with Val and Carol. The Stranges nodding towards you. You completely forgot about them. They’re the only ones your wife truly liked. Truthfully you found Steven Strange a bit of an ass thankfully his wife keeps him in check.
Wanda and Vis, May and Happy. The Quills, Scott and Hope, Shaun and Kate, Marc and Layla, but the best was for last.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.” Natasha smiled softly, hugging you close.
“Thanks Nat.” You squeezed her back.
Quinn loudly clapped her hands, startling you. “Alright drinks and karaoke time!”
You let go of Natasha and all of you made your way to the back.
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“Hey I was wondering where you went off too.” Natasha smiled seeing you in the kitchen.”
“Just needed a breather.” You muttered vaping your weed pen.
“Sure it wasn’t because Rachel is singing with Quinn?” The redhead kinked her brow.
“…No.” You muttered drinking the rest of your drink. You were crossfaded and ready to get shit faced.
“Hmhm.” The redhead chuckled sitting on the counter where you were leaning.
You grinned looking down at her jean covered legs.
“I got you something.” She said softly, taking it out of her pocket.
“Whhhat? You shouldn’t have.” You chuckled, taking the small box in your hand. You unwrapped it, opened the box and took out a necklace with the initials of your daughters on it.
“If you look through the top you’ll see them.” She smiled watching your jaw drop. You could see a picture of you and your little girls from the time you were in Natasha’s pool.
“Nat this is… thank you. I love it.” You chuckled, hugging her tightly against you. “It’s a really thoughtful and sweet gift. I love it.” You hand her the necklace to place it on you. She leaned in, unclasping the hook before placing it on you and leaning back again. 
“You’re welcome.” She said softly, you were both close and you don’t know if it’s her scent or being crossfaded but you have an urge to take her like a caveman. God, you get so horny when you drink. Her arms are still loosely hanging around your neck. You’re so close between her legs she can feel your bulge growing she leans in lightly kissing your cheek. “Happy birthday.” 
“Thank you…Where is Bruce?” You ask softly, stepping closer feeling her legs nudge you closer.
Natasha shrugs, she doesn’t have the energy to lie, not when she’s buzzed and can smell your scent.
“He doesn’t deserve you Nat.” You say boldly caressing her cheek.
She’s just going to tell you. Tell you her marriage is a sham, tell you that Quinn is the one that doesn’t deserve you. The words are on the edge of her lips when you start leaning closer “Y/N-” She husks arching her back ever so lightly to lighten the ache between her legs.
“You deserve so much better.” 
“The same could be said for you.” She whispers her hands now cupping our cheeks. She can feel how hard you are and God she just wants you to take her right there on the counter with your bitchy wife right outside. She arches once more so she can rub herself against you ever so slightly. You both hold eye contact as your hands hook beneath her legs. You’re both so close to pouncing one another when the back door opens. You both feel like the bubble has been burst. You both clear your throats as she pats your chest gently pushing you back a bit so she can get down. You turn slightly to rearrange your package discreetly.
“Hey Y/N.” Rachel cleared her throat, eyeing Natasha. “Quinn is looking for you.”
“Right.” You sigh softly remembering who you are married to. You feel a little sick thinking of the way you almost just ruined it due to a buzz. You walk away without giving Natasha another look afraid Rachel will sniff out what just transpired.
“So Quinn is right, you do want Y/N. It’s funny how they’re onto us yet they haven’t done anything about it.” Rachel says softly looking around the kitchen.
“Truly do not know what you’re talking about. I’m sorry, who are you?” Natasha furrowed her brow.
“I’m Rachel Berry.” The small brunette looked almost offended; everyone who had watched a musical or walked down Broadway knew her. “I started the glee club. Went to school with Quinn and Y/N. Tony award winning actress?”
“Ahh I see.”
“You know…” Rachel walks closer standing next to the Russian redhead. For once she met someone who was her height. “Maybe we could work together?” The starlet shrugged.
Natasha’s eyes widened realizing what she was implying.
“I can admit they would be better off divorced. Don’t you think?” Rachel furrowed her brow. “They’re both obviously unhappy.”
“I think you may be a little crazy.” Natasha chuckled, starting to walk past Rachel.
“Call me crazy but I see the way you look at Y/N, and I saw the way Y/N looked at you. You were seconds away from christening this countertop. You almost had Y/N. Almost. Your demise was doing it here in the kitchen. You’d have to do it somewhere no one would barge in and catch you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Y/N and I are friends. I am married.”
“Hmm. Hmhm. If it helps I’ve never seen Y/N look at any woman like that before. Not even Quinn. If we work together we could have them ya know… it wouldn’t take much. Their marriage has been threatening to crumble for a year now.”
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you’re implying breaking up a marriage it’s sickening.”  Natasha gripped the handle when Rachel stopped her.
“I know you want Y/N. I’m not afraid to tell you I want Quinn. I’ve wanted her since high school. Y/N treats Quinn great no doubt but Quinn? The same can’t be said for her and everyone knows it. Just think about it huh? This little convo stays between us.” With that Rachel slips out of the back door like a snake as Natasha stands there in shock.
Natasha steadied her breathing a lot just happened and she needs to go back outside and act like it didn’t. God she has so much to tell you now and no idea how to do it.
The door opens again this time revealing Wanda. 
“Hey, there you are! Come on Y/N is about to play us a song Quinn got them a new guitar… are you okay?” Wanda quickly notices that her best friend was absolutely not okay. 
“I have so much to tell you.” Natasha sighed.
“Do you wanna get out of here and talk about it at my place?”
“No, no, I want to watch Y/N play. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“Okay.” Wanda hugs her best friend tightly, helping her relax a bit. “Come on, I'll make you a drink.”
They both make their way back to the party when you are getting ready to play. Tina is back on bass, Blaine is on the keyboard, and although you’re missing Finn on drums Carol takes up the mantle claiming to be a drum God.
“Hey dude you okay?” Mike asked as you took a bump of coke. “How’d you even get that?”
“Santana.” You mutter taking a shot.
“Hey I haven’t seen you this way since Finn died. What happened?” He asks, taking you aside making you put the joint down.
“I think I almost just fucked up my marriage.” You hissed.
“With who?” Mike’s eyes widened. This was not you whatsoever. You lived for your family, you would never be the type to cheat.
“Nat.” You whisper.
“Oh wow. What happened?”
“She gave me a gift and I… Mike I got bricked up and we almost… We almost kissed and if we had I would have-” You inhale deeply about to have a panic attack.
“Heyyy whoa… Breathe.” He said holding your shoulders. “In.” He inhaled with you. “Now out.” He exhaled, nodding. “That’s it. Listen bud you didn’t cheat. Did you almost… yeah probably but you didn’t. You’re high and buzzed. I know Brittany gave you a mushroom you microdosed with her, vaping from your pen, drinking, and I don’t even know how much coke you’ve been doing. The thing is you’re out of it right now. It meant nothing.”
“I don’t know Mike.” You shook your head. “I was so close to ruining everything.”
“Hey stop it. It’s your birthday. You got carried away. You both probably won’t even remember this tomorrow. Now take a deep breath and go play your heart out.”
“Mike… Do you think Quinn doesn’t deserve me?”
Mike’s eyes widened a bit in a state of shock.
“Do you think I made a mistake marrying her? My parents did… Finn did…Sersi and now Nat-”
“Hey come on you’re spiraling.”
“But-” 
“You’re spiraling.” Mike shook his head. 
“Hey there you are!” Quinn smiled.
“Come on, everyone wants to hear you play!”
Quinn ushers you on the patio platform in front of the mic.
“I just want to thank all of you for coming out tonight. Thank you to my wife for setting this all up. Thank you all for the gifts and the drinks-”
“The drugs!” Santana cackled Quinn glaring at her.
The neighbors all chuckled. “I’ll take some!” Tony laughed as Pepper smacked his arm. “Ow honey I’m kidding.”
“Anyway thanks for letting me jam out with my old band. This one goes out to Finn I really fucking miss you man.” 
“Here here!” Mike clapped with the rest of the gleeks.
You pour one out for your old best friend before downing another shot.
You turn around counting with your band. Carol nodded and began drumming the first few beats before you and Tina joined in shredding it up.
“All her signals are getting lost in the ether
(That's what she wanted) 
She's a landslide with a city beneath her
(That's what she wanted)
So take a good look so you'll never forget it
(That's what she wanted)
Take a deep breath, I know I'm gonna regret it
(That's what she wanted)
Holly's lookin' dry, lookin' for an easy target
Let her slit my throat, give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road, lies, lies and hidden danger
Southern Ohio’s breeding mommy's little monster
She's got a mission, and I'm collateral damage
(That's what she wanted)
She's the flower that you place on my casket
(That's what she wanted)
Savor the moment 'cause the memory's fleeting
Take a photograph as the last train is leaving”
Quinn always hated this song; she just knew you were singing about her. How could you not? 
“Holly's lookin' dry, lookin' for an easy target
Let her slit my throat, give her ammo if she'll use it
Caution on the road, lies, lies and hidden danger
Southern Ohio’s breeding mommy's little monster
“Think she’s singing about Quinn?” Tony asked leaning up to speak to Natasha. The redhead nodded, not saying a word. Truthfully she’s still thinking about what almost happened.
“(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out
(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out
(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out
(Better run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me ouuuut!”
“Yeahh!” Tony cheered loudly, clapping his hands.
“Damn I didn’t know Y/N could jam like a rockstar!” Sam chuckled.
“Kind of sexy.” Bucky muttered.
“Really?” Steve huffed.
“Okay but they’re super gay right?” Kurt whispered to his husband eyeing Steve and Bucky. 
“You can see it from space.” Blaine nodded.
“Poor Peggy.” They cringed seeing her sit next to her husband.
“Alright I'm gonna need my wife, Kurt, Mercedes, and Santana to come up here.”
You turn around briefly whispering to your band mates before turning around and strumming your guitar.
“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”
“Ahhh this is my song bitch!” Santana laughed as the rest of the women and Kurt stand around the mic.
Everyone began to cheer before singing along. It was always a hit. Thankfully the gleeks remember whose part is whose.
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance!” Kurt sang.
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance” everyone sang next.
“I want your ugly, I want your disease I want your everything as long as it's free I want your love” Tina sang before moving so Mercedes could sing next.
“Love, love, love, I want your love (hey) I want your drama, the touch of your hand (hey) I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand I want your love
“Love, love, love, I want your love (love, love, love) (I want your love)”
Quinn stood next to you and began singing the part that always drove you crazy.
 “You know that I want you And you know that I need youI want it bad, your bad romance.” She bit your ear before you sang next looking right at Natasha.
“I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”
Natasha gulped, were you sending her a message or was this just ironic? 
“Oh my god what happened in that house Y/N was totally singing to you!” Wanda hissed near her ear.
“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Nat muttered.
“Ugh, the suspense is killing me.” Wanda whined.
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance”
“I want your horror, I want your design 'Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine I want your love” Mercedes sang. “Love, love, love, I want your love”
“I want your psycho, your vertigo shtick (hey) Want you in my rear window, baby, you're sick I want your love” Santana sang.
“Love, love, love, I want your love (love, love, love) (I want your love)”
“You know that I want you And you know that I need you ('cause I'm a free bitch, baby) I want it bad, your bad romance”
You desperately wanted to know what Natasha sounds like if she sang that part. You shake your head before singing your part.
“I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance
Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, passion baby Work it, I'm a free bitch, baby
“I want your love, and I want your revenge
I want your love, I don't wanna be friends 
J'veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche
J'veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh) No, I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance) I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh) Want your bad romance! (oh-oh-oh)” 
Damn Santana still has it.
“Caught in a bad romance Want your bad romance I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh (Want your bad romance) Caught in a bad romance (Want your bad romance) Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh (Want your bad romance) Caught in a bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ahRoma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance”
Everyone cheered and clapped.
“How often do you think they play this song?” Pepper glared at her husband. “I’m just saying they all had a part.” Tony shrugged.
“How many times must I remind you. They were in glee club together in high school.” Pepper grit.
“Good times!” You chuckled as the gleeks hugged and walked off the makeshift stage. “This next one was Finn’s favorite song so it’s a must. Feel free to sing along and pour one out for my boy.”
“Bet.” Sam Wilson nodded, pouring some into the grass.
“Sam it got on my boots.” Bucky gruffed.
“It’s for a fellow fallen soldier Buck, show some respect.” Sam Wilson glared.
As soon as the band began playing the intro Steve stood jumping up and down. “This is one of my favorites too!”
“Oh my.” Bucky muttered, clearly judging his booyfriend.
“Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo”
“I'm packed and I'm holding
I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden
She lives for me, says she lives for me
Ovation, her own motivation
She comes round and she goes down on me
And I make you smile, like a drug for you
Do ever what you wanna do, coming over you
Keep on smiling, what we go through
One stop to the rhythm that divides you
And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse
Chop another line like a coda with a curse
Come on like a freak show takes the stage
We give them the games we play, she said-“
“I want something else to get me through this
Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby
I want something else, I'm not listening when you say good-bye
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo
The sky was gold, it was rose
I was taking sips of it through my nose
And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there
Smiling in the pictures you would take
Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you break
It won't stop, I won't come down
I keep stock with a tick-tock rhythm, a bump for the drop
And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given
Then I bumped again, then I bumped again
I said
How do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you
How do I get myself back to the place where you said
I want something else to get me through this
Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby
I want something else, I'm not listening when you say good-bye
I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And that four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be alright, alright
And when the plane came in, she said she was crashing
The velvet it rips in the city, we tripped on the urge to feel alive
Now I'm struggling to survive
Those days you were wearing that velvet dress
You're the priestess, I must confess
Those little red panties they pass the test
Slides up around the belly, face down on the mattress
One
And you hold me, and we are broken
Still it's all that I wanna do, just a little now
Feel myself, heading off the ground
I'm scared, I'm not coming down
No, no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws now locked down in a smile
But nothing is alright, alright
And I want something else to get me through this life
Baby, I want something else
Not listening when you say
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
The sky was gold, it was rose 
I was taking sips of it through my nose 
And I wish I could get back there 
Someplace back there, in the place we used to start
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo
I want something else
Steve clapped and whistled loudly. “Fuck yeah!” 
“He said a bad word.” Tony snorted.
You walked over to the Natasha with a grin.
“Sing a song for me?” You asked the redhead.
“Oh I don’t know-”
“Please? It’s my birthday. You can pick the song.”
Natasha sighed and nodded, taking your hand. You gave a lopsided grin and kissed the top of her hand.
You lead her up the patio. “What do you wanna sing?” 
“I think you know.” She kinks her brow and you know exactly what to play.
You take up your acoustic guitar and begin picking the strings before looking over at her.
“Boy, tell me, can you take my breath away?
Cruisin' down a heart-shaped highway
Got you swervin' lane-to-lane, don't hit the brakes
'Cause I'm feelin' so safe
I'll be your baby, on a Sunday
Oh, why don't we get out of town?
Call me your baby, on the same wave
Oh, no, no, there's no slowin' down!”
You grin at her, your eyes never having left hers and join her in the chorus.
“You and I, I
Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i
I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I
Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride
When I hula-hula, hula
So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler
There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y
We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i”
Quinn is bristling at this exchange especially when the redhead stands up and threads her fingers in your hair.
“Let me run my fingers through your salty hair
Go ahead, explore the island
Vibes so real that you can feel it in the air
I'm revvin' up your engine”
Natasha taps your chin and continues the song.
“I'll be your baby, on a Sunday
Oh, why don't we get out of town? (Why don't we get out of town?)
Call me your baby, catch the same wave
Oh, no, no, there's no slowin' down (let's go)”
“Quinn is going to kill Y/N.” Kurt muttered
“Okay but I’m loving this, their chemistry is through the roof!” Blaine smiled.
“You and I, I
Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i
I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I
Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride
When I hula-hula, hula
So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler
There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y
We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i
No, no
You and I (you and I, I)
Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i
I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I
Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride
When I hula-hula, hula
So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler
There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y
We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i
I'll be your baby, on a Sunday
Oh, whoa
We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i
Call me your baby, catch the same wave
Oh, whoa
We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i"
You quickly placed the guitar down and clapped whistling to cheer her on. You looked towards the crowd but didn’t see Quinn. Low and behold you couldn’t find Rachel either. You save that for later and focus on Natasha.
“That was beautiful Nat.” You chuckled and hugged her.
“Damn she’s sexy, Russian, and can sing?” Santana gawked with her wife Brittany.
“I know! No wonder Quinn is so jealous of her.” Brittany muttered.
“Where is that bitch anyway?” Santana squinted her eyes as she scanned the crowd.
“She went inside and so did Berry.” Brittany looked at her wife.
“Fuck Quinn.” Santana groaned.
Steve walked over to Bucky. “Buck.” He hissed. 
“What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost, or worse a naked woman.” He chuckled.
“Well.” Steve inhaled looking at you and Natasha.
“Oh shit you did.” Bucky chuckled. “Who?”
“Quinn and Rachel.” He whispered.
“What!?” Bucky exclaimed, making some people look over.
“Keep your voice down. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” He grit.
“I knew Quinn was no good.” Bucky muttered.
“Well we aren’t either. We are doing the exact same thing.”
“Hey take it easy, you said you were going to tell Peggy before she leaves again.”
Steve nodded watching Quinn and Rachel trickle out of the house.
“Do they know?” Bucky asked, looking away from them.
“No but they know someone knows. I broke a vase; I was in such shock.” He muttered.
“You’re going to have to tell Y/N.”
“Fuck.” Steve sighed he hated cursing but he knew this situation called for it. You and Quinn seemed so happy but then again he and Peggy did too. He knew he had to tell her and fast.
⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗
“Okay spill.” Wanda said, placing a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of Natasha.
“Ughhhhh Wands!” Natasha whined banging her head on the table.
“Stop! Start from the beginning.” Wanda placed a plate of pancakes down.
“Remember how we had a football match back in August?”
“Yeaaaah.” Wanda nodded. “I had major FOMO that day.”
“Well Tony dropped a bombshell on me. Apparently someone close to Y/N turned down their full ride to MIT.”
“Oh my gosh!!! Shut up no!” Wanda gasped, her hand going over her mouth.
“Yes!”
“My money's on Quinn. She probably got scared Y/N would leave her and Beth or something.”
“I think it’s her too but Tony said we can’t just assume we need to talk to Y/N, but-“
“Neither of you want to break their family apart.” Wanda nodded. “That’s understandable.”
“So now I have this bigger secret than my fake relationship with Bruce, and now on top of that I have another that I don’t even know what to do with!”
“Oh my gosh what?! You’re killing me!” Wanda whined.
“Y/N and I had a moment in the kitchen last night.” Natasha sighed.
“Nat.” Wanda sighed. “Y/N is married-”
“I know!”
“I told you that gift was too personal-”
“But-”
“But no Nat. Listen. I love you but this is wrong.”
“I know.” Nat sighed. “I think it was just the alcohol… the only reason I brought that up is because of Rachel Berry.”
“The short one that kept singing broadway songs?”
“Yes! Anyway she cornered me right after and suggested we break them up.”
“What the hell? Hasn’t she been their friend since highschool?!”
“Yes!”
“What did she say?”
“She said she knows I like Y/N and she likes Quinn and thinks they should divorce that they aren’t truly happy together.”
“What a weirdo.” Wanda gasped.
“She told me to think about it. Now I have to tell Y/N that their career was stolen from them, and their old friend is a snake.” Natasha sighed. “Wands what do I do?” 
“Honestly, I would like to know if it happened to me.”
“But how do I even begin to tell Y/N? This is going to break Y/N’s heart, and worse, what if they don’t believe me?”
“You’ll have to treat it like a band aid.” Wanda sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. 
“This could ruin their relationship.”
“Or it could strengthen it.” Wanda raised her brow.
It was quiet for a beat when Vis walked in.
“I think the real question is Nat do you have feelings for Y/N?”
“Vis what the hell?” Wanda grit.
“I’m sorry I was hungry and didn’t want to interrupt!” He said, grabbing a plate.
“What do my feelings have to do with what happened?” Natasha asked.
“Because if you have feelings and you are both married granted yours is a sham-”
“Vis!” Wanda smacked his arm.
“I just mean if you have feelings for a married person you need to distance yourself.”
“Oh don’t worry after I speak with Y/N I’m sure they’ll stop talking to me.” Natasha smiled sarcastically. She was stuck between a rock in a hard place. One she's falling for you, two she needs to tell you her marriage is a sham, three someone stole your chance at MIT. How does someone even begin to unload all of that information?
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mysterioushistorian · 2 months
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KUPRUM: >OBEY.
FOLYKL: what
FOLYKL: dude    you look worse   than usual      and that pastel godtier outfit was         already gay enough     whatever that word   means
FOYLKL: the fuck did you     do to him
)(IC: isnt he beautiful
FOLYKL: i know u want to      be wrapped in     her tentacles and all     but cmon dude      shes right beside you      its your chance
)(IC: he wont listen to u gurl
)(IC: hes all mine now
)(IC: like how he always wanted to b rite?
)(IC: theres nofin u can do u disgustin voidrotten garbage motha fucka
FOLYKL: no wonder youre called      the batterwitch
FOLYKL: this coming from      me     a   witch myself
FOLYKL: also   im not even voidrotten anymore     see my      eyes      theyre back        im godtiered
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)(IC: ya still gutterblood carp sides ur psionics weak as fuck
)(IC: ur useless as shit gurl u have no use for ma ass
)(IC: bitch u should be dead
)(IC: i aint cullin yo bulge buddy here cuz hes actually a powerful psionic
)(IC: always wanted to be a battery, whale hed make some fintastic use
)(IC: and hes under ma control now, right buoy?
KUPRUM: >ALL HAIL HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION.
KUPRUM: >ALL TRAITORS AND MISTAKES MUST BE ELIMINATED.
KUPRUM: >AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
FOLYKL: holy shit   dude
FOLYKL: im gonna sound like a       fucking normie  right now     but kuprum dont you       recognize  me?  folykl?
)(IC: already told ya bitch )(E WONT LISTEN TO U
)(IC: a loyal soldier to da empire now, like how he was always destined to b
)(IC: and YOU
)(IC: soon dead, like how u were always destined to b
)(IC: what u already were supposed to b 
)(IC: now buoy
)(IC: get dat stinky ass DEAD
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KUPRUM: >yes, your highness
KUPRUM: >folykl darane, i was wrong by helping you. as a loyal soldier to trizza and the condesce, i should have ELIMINATED you the first moment i set my bulbs on you.
KUPRUM: >BUT NOW YOURE DEAD LOL
FOLYKL: oh fuck
doc text, i had the idea for this interaction and i knew i had to write it
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