#mouna can draw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rezares · 4 years

Text

Mother || War & Peace feat. Rafika

Reading order of posted threads:

Spill The Tea (August 22, 2019)

Bullshit Cover Story (November 10, 2019)

Bullshit Detective (November 10, 2019)

Wildcard (November 10, 2019)

Father (November 10, 2019)

Word Count: 2027

Date: November 19th, 2019

tl;dr: Sabiha’s mother got wind Reza was in Tunisia and pulls up

AURORA

A lot of crime shows made a point to joke about how much the stake outs sucked. And how boring waiting for a tip could be. Aurora had never realized exactly how true those jokes rung until she herself was stuck waiting for a tip.

It was actually hell. The waiting was going to do her in long before any anti-Magicks in the area did.

It was their third day in Tunisia and they were waiting for one of Reza’s contacts to reach out to them regarding Mekki’s location, and they tried to fill the time with taking Aurora to see Everything That Needed to Be Seen. It was fun, and Aurora was quickly falling in love with the beautiful city, but there was a timer in the back of her mind. ‘Hurry up and wait’ felt like an apt term for the slowly encroaching madness.

One of the places they had stopped during their tour had been a yarn shop that Aurora had bodily dragged Abdelmajid and Reza into, and she had walked out with several skeins of yarn after her host had mentioned needing a new scarf. Casting on and starting the scarf had given her an outlet for her anxiety, and the stitches were flying off her needles. She had barely noticed that Reza had come to sit by her.

REZA

Reza had smirked when Rory had dragged them into the yarn shop, quite proud of his father for casually mentioning he needed a new scarf like he’d told him to do. Now here she was, making great headway on her thanks-for-the-hospitality gift.

“You’re welcome.” Reza teased, gesturing to the scarf.

AURORA

Aurora didn’t look up from her knitting, instead lifting her middle finger to Reza when she went to wrap the yarn around the needle. Her grin was wide and visible, though. It was how they had teased and bantered back before The Night Everything Went to Hell, and Aurora had missed it desperately.

“Yeah, yeah, do you want your offerings burnt, oh Great Pecurer of Yarn?” she teased right back, nudging his hip with the ball of her foot before tucking it back under herself on the couch.

REZA

He held his tongue between his teeth and gave the most shitfaced laugh as she sassed him, like nothing weird had ever happened between them. God, he missed his best friend.

“I meant ‘you’re welcome’ for solving your ‘how am I gonna thank Mr. Abdelmajid for his hospitality’ problem. Who do you think told him to mention scarves in front of you?”

AURORA

Aurora finally looked up from her knitting, gasping dramatically and pressing a hand to her chest. “Such manipulation!” she cried. “And here I thought my skills had spoken for themselves. Oooh the betrayal!” Aurora let herself fall back against the arm of the couch, throwing her arm over her eyes.

“I can’t bear to look at you now. I shall never recover!” She didn’t make it to the end of the sentence without snorting in amusement. Lifting her arm just enough that one lilac eye could look out and meet his, Aurora smiled. “Thanks, Reza.”

REZA

He huffed a laugh through his nose and tsked at her questionable acting, but was charmed by it nonetheless. Who knew that all he had to do to make Aurora act like his friend again was bring her to Tunisia for his murdercation.

Weird how murder and murder-adjacent activities were a bonding experience.

“Anytime, Rory.” Reza said,settling into the seat next to her. “So. My homeland so far. Thoughts?”

AURORA

"It's amazing," she said, smiling as she leaned her head back against the couch. "You may have to drag me back on the plane." Call her a tourist, but she really did love how there was something new to explore nearly everywhere she looked. "The Magick-Rights violations I could do without, but the food almost makes up for it."

She opened her mouth to ask again about one of the places they had visited when a knock at the door stopped her. Aurora perked up, looking over the back of the couch towards the door, humming curiously. "What do you think, friends of your dad or friends of yours?" she murmured as she heard Abdelmajid come downstairs to go to the door.

REZA

“Spoken like a local,” Reza mused, playfully swatting her shoulder with the back of his hand, and laughing comfortably. “You’ve been around Tunisians too long. You’re going to start humming Ḥumāt al-Ḥimá in your sleep soon.”

At the knock on the door, Reza tilted his ear toward that direction to eavesdrop. He wasn’t sure, actually, whether it was more friends of his or someone coming to talk to his father. Abdelmajid was a bit of a fixture in this neighborhood, having lived in this same place for over forty years. He heard nothing but a surprised noise from his father, which made Reza shoot straight out of his comfortable spot on the couch, ready to kick some cop ass, but when what followed was calm, but at least two sets of footsteps, he just watched the corner and waited.

See, Reza thought up several possibilities for who’d come calling. Maybe a cousin that lived in Sidi Bou Said, Sousse, or Sfax that heard Reza was in the country again and came to say hello. A sorcerer friend of his father’s that went off the grid and they assumed was dead, but was really in hiding.

What he did not expect, was his father to round the corner with a water-talent fairy named Rafika Kateb, whose resemblance to his daughter back in Swynlake was undeniable.

“Wh…” Reza began in English, before switching to French, the language everyone in the room could understand. “Sabiha’s not with me.”

“I know.”

“How did you even know I was in the country? Didn’t you go back to your Hollow?”

“It’s not like I don’t talk to humans now and then, ones I know to be allies. I heard from Mouna.”

Reza huffed and folded his arms across his chest. “Mouna needs to mind her own fucking business. There’s a reason I didn’t contact Heykel to ask after you. My business here has nothing to do with you.”

“I am the mother of your child, Reza!”

AURORA

Aurora had also shot to her feet when Reza did, knitting needle clutched by her hip in one hand like a knife. Of course, when Abdelmajid came around the corner looking perfectly calm and with a woman Aurora thought she should recognize but couldn't, she felt incredibly silly and discreetly dropped the needle to the ground.

God, had she seen photos of this woman before? Something about her was so familiar… It wasn't until Reza mentioned Sabiha that it clicked, and her stomach dropped into the core of the earth.

It was Sabiha's mom. Her real mom, Rafika. Fuck, Aurora hadn't even considered they'd run into her. She wanted to bolt from the room, to bury herself under her covers and never emerge.

No one had told her Rafika was heartstoppingly beautiful. Aurora suddenly felt very small in comparison.

Aurora finally snapped out of her brief panic, taking a small step back so she was out of Reza and Rafika's space. She didn't want to be involved; didn't want to draw any attention to herself.

REZA

Reza scoffed and shook his head at Rafika. “You call yourself her mother? You sent her to me in England and haven’t so much as called her. I’m not a monster, I would let you talk to her.”

“You left her first!” Rafika countered, immediately wincing as even she recognized how unfair she was being.

“How can you even compare going to Austria for medical care to - no, you know what, I’m not defending myself to you. I don’t have to. Why are you here?”

Rafika eyed Rory and nodded to her. “Did you bring a woman here for your father’s approval to marry her? Don’t you think I should meet the woman raising my daughter?”

“That’s not what I asked. And cut the bullshit, you looked surprised as hell my apprentice is here, you didn’t know she came along.”

A beat. Rafika laughed mirthlessly and looked down as she fidgeted with her hair, inadvertently exposing one of her pointed fairy ears as she did. Maybe, Reza thought, he was being too cold. After all, he understood why she sent Sabiha too him. He understood why she went back to her Hollow. It was still unfair to Sabiha though, and that was why he was angry.

“Can’t I-” Rafika briefly looked up to meet his eye before looking down again. “Can’t I ask the only man I ever loved and made a child with for five minutes of his time? Am I not allowed to ask about my daughter? Please, Reza. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her. My heart aches every day.”

“Like mine did for over four years, as you know.” Reza spat. “Awful, isn’t it? The difference is- I would have never, never kept her away from you the way you did to me. But we are not having this conversation. I am not baring my soul to you when I am already well beyond any hurt I felt, and I don’t care about what you have to say.”

“Reza-”

“Get the fuck out of my face, before I actually yell at you, Rafika.”

AURORA

If she kept biting her tongue like this, she was going to bite it off sooner rather than later.

Aurora did not have anything to say to Rafika. Was there things she wanted to say? Yes, a hundred times over. But it wasn’t her place. She was not Sabiha’s mom and she was barely Reza’s friend and so she kept her lips pressed tight together.

She blanched when Rafika looked to her and asked if she and Reza were getting married, but Reza cut off her denial before she could say a word. She went back to listening, ignoring the squirming feeling deep in her gut that told her that she was looking in a mirror.

Reza cursed at Rafika and Aurora finally stepped in, laying a hand on his wrist like she had done while he was running for office back in Swynlake and she needed his attention. “Reza,” she murmured gently. “You… should give her five minutes.” Closure would be good. Not just for Reza, but for Sabiha. Maybe… maybe now they could come home with answers. She tried to convey this all with her eyes, not wanting to expose any weaknesses of Reza’s or Sabiha’s in front of Rafika. Giving his wrist one soft squeeze, Aurora stepped back to let Reza make his own decision, catching Rafika’s eyes for a brief moment before looking away to Abdelmajid.

REZA

Reza’s hand flinched at the sudden absence of the comforting touch of Aurora’s hand. Abdelmajid noticed and decided his son was full of shit when he insisted he didn’t have feelings for his pretty Scottish apprentice. Rafika noticed and knew her conversation with him would be short.

“Fine.” Reza sighed. “Fine, fine, Rory’s right. Fine.”

“Walk around the neighborhood with me?” Rafika asked.

“Yeah, fine. Fine, whatever. Five minutes.”

AURORA

Aurora gave Reza a soft, reassuring smile; hoping he would take some comfort from knowing that fighting or not - and were they even really fighting anymore? -, she had his back. She gave Rafika the same smile, but something in her eyes had changed and darkened. This was not a reassurance as much as a promise. That she would not be able to hurt Reza and Sabiha again. Not if Aurora had any sort of say in the matter.

“Be safe,” she said softly in English as they left, hands together in front of her as she pulled nervously on her pinky finger. She felt Abdelmajid come up beside her and gently lead her into the house, and made a point not to watch them leave together.

She sat on the couch and tried not to feel like she was sitting in someone else’s spot. Someone else’s life.

She didn’t particularly succeed.

#rory

1 note · View note

1footinthecloset · 3 years

Text

Sam & Mom

I have always loved drawing portraits. When I was a teenager, a classmate stole my sketchbook and went through it, and turned them in to the administration. For that, I was almost expelled. Though I know I loved women a long time before that, I can attribute my coming out to that very moment, when the world seemed to screaming, “No!” at me every way I turned. In my experience, though, establishing taboos around something only seems to make teenagers want that something more, be it drugs or women. I, for one, am still drawing nudes (so f**k you, Alicia.) But I am out of my element today because until very recently, I’ve stuck to traditional media. For the sake of this project, I thought it would be nice to have some vibrant colors, so I tried my hand at Procreate instead.

The above portrait is of Sam and his mother—played by the very talented Rose Souaid--as they appear in Episode 3 of Season 2 of I Luv U But. In this episode, Sam is with his mother, going through clothing at home. Overhearing that Mouna will be staying overnight at her mother’s house, Souaid’s character interrogates Sam before giving a litany of rules, dictating what is appropriate or inappropriate for a wife to do. Souaid’s character fulfills a similar role for Sam as Al-Kadhi’s mother does for Al-Kadhi. As he explains in his TEDtalk, for all his mother’s strictness, it was her “overt, and absurdly camp performance of femininity that taught [him] how to be a drag queen” (Al-Kadhi). For both Al-Kadhi and Sam, their mothers police them to adhere to hegemonic understandings of gender, while at the same time exposing the absurdity of gender as an institution. Despite her front of propriety, for example, Sam is quick to realize his mother’s hypocrisy:

“Did I ever leave your father at home?” asks Souaid.

“Mom! You can’t talk—you’re here, and dad’s in Lebanon! What a hypocrite!” says Sam.

Following this admonishment, Souaid admits that she and her husband are getting a divorce. In most patriarchal settings—and not exclusively Arab ones—divorce is often viewed as a failure on the part of the individual, but particularly as a failure in women. In attaining a divorce and admitting it to her son, Souaid’s character transgresses the expectations of femininity. But when Sam asks her why, Souaid’s reasoning is even more transgressive: “I’m young and I want to go out!” she says. In other words, Souaid’s character divorces her husband because the marriage does not give her joy. In this respect, Sam and his mother share much in common. Though Souaid’s character (as far as we known) is a cisgendered, heterosexual woman, and Sam is a gay man, they both yearn for greater freedom and for fulfillment. They are both restricted by conventions of gender, and the patriarchal social norms which bind them. Each has flourished in their respective closets—one being the confines of womanhood, the other heterosexuality—but each is at a point where they wish to free themselves.

Sam’s somewhat hostile reaction is nonetheless understandable, in spite of their shared circumstances. Whereas Souaid is able to “come out” about her divorce, Sam has reservations, and must stay in the closet to avoid being rejected by his mother. She has taught Sam how to perform gender and sexuality, and continuously polices his relationship with Mouna. The tension remains unresolved in this scene, but a future resolution is alluded to: “After all this hard work,” says Sam’s mom, “what are you left with? Isn’t it time to live?” For Souaid, this refers to a sort of sham marriage she had with Sam’s father. For Sam, this is the relationship he has with Mouna. Unconsciously, Sam’s mother appears to egg him on to leave the closet, just as Al-Kadhi’s mother, he theorizes, unconsciously taught him queendom.

{ xing yang gilbert }

0 notes

yogaadvise · 4 years

Text

The magic of mouna: the inner silence

It comes in the stillness A wordless knowing Of everything And beautifully nothing

In Sanskrit, the word mouna (roughly equated) indicates 'silence'. In its a lot of basic essence, this can be practised as non-speaking. Mouna is frequently presented in yoga exercise hideaways as a daily duration of non-speaking and also, at advanced degrees, as a number of days of silence.

For several, the concept of not speaking, even for a couple of hours, is daunting: the mind races in with questions like' Yet just how will I interact?' and also 'What will I do with no discussion?'

For numerous, the concept of not talking, also for a couple of hours, is daunting: the mind races in with inquiries like 'But exactly how will I communicate?' and also 'What will I make with no discussion?'

In reality, a lot of exactly how we consider ourselves, others, and the globe is developed with conversation. Chatting around and also associating experiences, developing viewpoints and also having others agree and differ with them creates a solid sense of identity and hence perpetuates a mind-based principle of who we believe ourselves to be. Our minds after that develop ideas to continue that momentum ... and also prior to we know it, who we assume we are is determined by our thoughts as well as our discussions with others. And also we obtain totally lost within it.

The magic of mouna

The practice of Hatha yoga prepares us to enter this space of silence through asana (yoga poses) by keeping the body fit and healthy and balanced without pains as well as discomforts for the mind to focus on, via Pranayama by stabilizing the circulation of power via the body, eventually creating a tranquility in the mind and body, bringing us to the phase of Pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses). This is where mouna starts to function its magic.

Mouna supplies us the chance to simply see, to observe the task of the mind without getting involved in its shenanigans.

Mouna provides us the opportunity to merely see, to observe the activity of the mind without obtaining associated with its shenanigans. When we merely observe our ideas as well as exactly how they trigger our feelings and also drive our behavior without getting involved, eventually the vanity mind resolves a little bit as well as another thing very priceless arises.

After the thoughts have actually settled, from deep within the stillness and the silence there emerges a severe understanding. It is a recognition exposing the actual nature or 'aliveness' in whatever.

Our interest draws within, as well as we begin to see that everything worldwide is breaking with Life's imaginative message. It is so very and frantically stunning because it is the similar innovative message which is breaking within ourselves.

Life's creative message

It is from this space of understanding that real imagination emerges. Whatever in presence brings Life's message of loving and living in every way and also type feasible. When we can shed a little bit of our mind-based identification through mouna and remainder conveniently in this knowing, then a globe which is even fuller and richer than our minds can comprehend is revealed.

Our universe takes a breath to this rhythm and also dancings to this splendid tune, with each other managing the Grand Harmony of All Life.

It is through mouna that we can start to hear with a listening way past what our ears can perceive. It starts with the external practice of non-speaking, and also ultimately progresses into a deep inner listening ...

It is with mouna that we can begin to listen to with a paying attention method beyond what our ears can regard. It begins with the outside technique of non-speaking and eventually evolves into a deep internal listening, within which we can hear the calling of this symphony, the message of the Universe, in which every note is leading us back house.

Tracey

A course to aid you accept the silence:

EkhartYoga participants can follow this lovely class with Irina Verwer. She discusses exactly how to obtain in as well as out of each present briefly and also holds the silence for you so you can dive deep right into yourself and also get in touch with your divine trigger again.

Into the silence - Hatha/ Restorative, All levels, 45 minutes

#asana #Hatha Yoga #pranayama #yoga #yoga poses

0 notes

droommedia-blog · 5 years

Text

INFLUENCER MARKETING IN CANADA with DROOM MEDIA

For quite a while in Canada, influencer advertising had the impression of being something too good to be true. Indeed, it is not true anymore! Influencer Marketing isn’t equivalent to it was 10 years back.

Around 65%-70% of brands are wanting to build their influencer showcasing spending plan, there is a need to ensure there are industry-wide models. To help accomplish this, Advertising Standards Canada declared that influencer rules, which will expect brands to completely unveil any paid supports or notices of items/benefits by an influencer on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin, Youtube, etc.

Benefits of Influencer Marketing in today’s scenario-

NICHE TARGETING

CUSTOMIZING ACCORDING TO LATEST TRENDS

EASY ACCESSIBILITY FOR CUSTOMERS

GLAMOUR GATEWAY

LESS COST ENDEAVOUR

ADMISSIBLE LEAD GENERATION

TRANSPARENT PUBLIC ENGAGEMENT ONLINE

Influencer Marketing in VANCOUVER

HALEY ESTRADA

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInVancouver #vancouverinfluencers

A beauty, fashion & lifestyle blogger has successfully made an online presence through her blogging & content.

Also, have experience in promoting various brands like Van Houtte Coffee & Bl’eau Beauty

Her blog page is by the name of www.haleyestrada.com

The Vancouver based influencer has an authentic fan following of 14,000 on the Instagram page.

EMMA CHOO

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInVancouver #vancouverinfluencers

A food blogger, founder & creative director at Vancouver Foodies is a pro food expert.

Has great experience in blogging and reviewing various brands and food outlets like BC Salmon Marketing Council & Team Bread.

Her Instagram page consists of 60,800 true followers as of now.

Influencer Marketing in MONTREAL

NATALIE

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInMontreal #montrealInfluencers

A well-known beauty influencer on the web has given the world quite great tips and tricks regarding makeup and beauty products.

Promoting brands like Marc Anthony Haircare, Yves Rocher , Osea Malibu and many more.

A website for purchases and other services named www.natalielovesbeauty.com

Runs a Youtube channel as well as an Instagram page, consisting of 2796 subscribers & 42,100 followers respectively.

BADR MANUEL

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingMontreal #MontrealInfluencer

One of the most advanced fashion influencer in Montreal.

Promotes brands like Porsche, Rayban, Azurore Public and many more.

Has managed to gain the trust of 41,000 Instagram followers till now through content.

Influencer Marketing in TORONTO

LATOYA

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInToronto #torontoinfluencers

A lifestyle influencer managing family and fun of life with the right balance.

Worked with brands like BOXYCHARM and Dr BRANDT and many more.

An Instagram page Shestough with 22,800 followers and a Youtube channel with 1.4 million subscribers

Her Instagram page consists of 680,000 followers.

STEPHANIE AHN

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInToronto #torontoinfluencer

She’s a fashion & lifestyle blogger and gives quite essential tips on improving the beauty and presentation of one’s personality.

Has great experience in working and advertising various brands like FashionNova, Tigermist, Loreal Hair and many more

Her Instagram page contains 95,000 followers and a Youtube page with 5413 subscribers.

Influencer Marketing in OTTAWA

EMMANUELLE CAPLETTE

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInOttawa #ottawainfluencers

A great drummer/musician has a great fan following online, her musical content has filled the internet with great wisdom & knowledge.

Official brand ambassador of SONOR Drums, SABIAN cymbals, VIC FIRTH sticks, EVANS Drum heads, SENNHEISER microphones and headphones.

She has provided some tutorials and interesting lessons on drums.

Her Instagram page is followed by 104,000 followers

And a youtube page with 78,489 subscribers.

OB PRESTIGE AUTO(Olivier Benloulou)

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInOttawa #ottawainfluencer

An inspiring personality, Olivier has shown the world the passion & doesn’t have an age limit.

He is a car enthusiast, collector, etc., hence an influencer, and has collaborated for various car events and car promotions.

Has done promotion through the post for AMS performance, Champ Cars Endurance Series and more.

His page related to cars contains 53,200 followers and the personal page is followed by 11,500 followers.

Influencer Marketing in CALGARY

TANNER STEWART

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInCalgary #calgaryinfluencers

A YouTuber, making videos on anything informative or funny. Tanner has created a lot of presence on social media through his intriguing content

His Youtube channel consists of 315,845 subscribers and Instagram is followed by 91,600 admirers.

EMMY OON

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInCalgary #calgaryinfluencers

A charming personality with a great sense of styling the brands have reached this fashion influencer for product promotion and various other campaigns.

Emmy has a fanbase of 140,000 on Instagram.

Experienced promoter for Sekoni Original, Yoins, and more.

Influencer Marketing in QUEBEC CITY

MOUNA BENMAHTI

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInQuebecCity #quebeccityinfluencers

Lifestyle blogger Mouna has gained a global admiration, for her rich content on social media.

She shares about her lifestyle and new experiences that influence may people to try the taste of her life.

Promoter for La Maison Simons

She’s followed by 135,000 on Instagram & 13,000 on Twitter.

PÉZIE

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInQuebecCity #quebeccityinfluencer

An interior designer by profession, Pezie has attained a great recognition on social media with her content and great lifestyle showcasing.

Promoter for brands like Vinho Verde Wines, Oikos Canada, Clarins Canada and many more

Her Instagram is followed by 146,000 admirers.

Influencer Marketing in WINNIPEG

PATRIK LAINE

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInWinnipeg #winnipeginfluencers

Patrik is a renowned sports personality who has promoted various sports brands and is featured in easports ice hockey game as a digital player inside the game.

Experienced promoter for brands like BAUER Hockey, EAsportsNHL, Laine & Barkov Charity Golf, AUDI Winnipeg and many more

His social media is followed by 261,000 fans.

JASMIN ELAGO

Image via Instagram #InfluencerMarketingInWinnipeg #winnipeginfluencer

A fashion, food and lifestyle blogger is a content creator and sharer of social media.

Promotion experience for brands like FashionNova, FryMadness, MajorWavezz, and many more

She has done various promotions and campaigns with brands and is followed by 204,000 Instagram admirers.

The standard for any influencer marketing technique is commitment. It is imperative to draw in the ideal individuals and just the ideal individuals. When you figure out how to do that, you are in good shape.

With DROOM MEDIA you can, leverage the influencer marketing for your industry, through Word-Of-Mouth marketing strategy.

Find a correct influencer for your niche with Droom Media, and get amazing results on your ROI and Brand Awareness.

0 notes

papermoth-bird-blog · 5 years

Text

The sunsets in Sedona & sunrises of California

My last few days in Sedona felt like heaven, but I felt myself being pulled towards the landscapes of California. It was like I was being presented with a question- Stay with the feeling of peace & sanctuary, or navigated the ups & downs of the outside world. As soon as I asked the question, I knew the right thing to do was to leave. I booked a train ticket early in the morning & told swamiji I would be leaving the day after tomorrow. Just as I did, I reached out to my Uncle Eric, who lives in Venice Beach. My cousin Mia surprised him by showing up that very day, and so, it aligned perfectly for me to surprise her. (because, of course it did).

The days of heaven at the ashram looked like peaceful adventure. I lay in the grass looking up at the bald eagle that would swoop down in the trees on the back on the property. I helped paint the temple with bright yellow (that reminded me so much of painting my dad’s stages as a kid... which were the exact same yellow colour). We crowned the temple while singing songs as a group.

We were able to spend the day going for a few different hikes through the red rocks. Rukmini and I went off the trail near the Cochina to find the cave she used to sleep in when she was younger. The cave was nestled between two huge rock formations. It had an amazing view of the whole vista- the reds of the earth, the bright blue sky and all the greens in between. The walls of the cave had pocks in in- that looked like letter slots. She told me that people used to write prayers on pieces of paper and tuck them inside the slots with an offering to the rocks. We didn’t have paper, but we left the heart shaped rocks we had found earlier with a prayer & our love. We helped some other women climb up the steep rocks gracefully & called out into the valley below. It’s funny how freeing it can feel to feel small in a large landscape. It’s as if you can viscerally look at the larger picture. We aimed too to climb doe mountain, but Swamiji’s body was not up for the steep climb, so we turned around halfway & instead walked along the winding Aerie Trail. At the end of the path, we caught the sun slowly sink down behind the distant mountains. While we sat on some large rocks there, Rukmini told me of one of the times she ran away from the world. She packed her car full of food and camping gear- left it in the desert & walked off with her belongings. She lasted a long while too- weeks if not months. Just her under the sky, amongst the desert plants. She knows a lot about the medicines of the land. I hope I have an opportunity in the future to learn more from her- I know she has so much to teach & I hope the universe provides her with eager & attentive students. She deserves that so much. Wendyana brought us bundles of Juniper berries she picked. We watched the sky turn to stars as we ate the sweet little fruits. Then packed up the car & headed back into Sedona to eat at Chocolate tree.

As I fell asleep, I was so aware of the landscape & sat vigil to it. The owls, coo’ed so loudly, they must have been in the tree right outside of the window. I was beautiful. When I woke, I tried my best to keep up with the regular ashram shcedule & helping Rukmini, but I was running around preparing to say goodbye too (not to mention packing). I Said goodbye to the bees, gathering the sleepy ones with a spoonful of sugar water.

Rukmini and I said goodbye in the kitchen over a few hours- it looked a lot like making lists. Writing down all the proper procedures for all the different household chores, to make it easier for future staff or guest orientation going forward. I handed her a postcard that I had made for her too- that was a picture of her in the sunset laying on a rock. On the back I wrote “Rukmini Rose, dances with the sky & tells me of all the desert medicines she had made friends with in this life/ and all the times she ran away/ and all the times she ran towards herself.” She ran to her room & came back with a couple of postcards for me- One with a Jackalope (from Utah, her home state) that she wrote something like “May the Jackalopes sing you sweet lullabyes! Rohini, my sister wife, world grandma ma! Take care of us babies like you always do! Thank you so much. I’m glad we are together.” The other was a lightning scene over the desert- with cacti , etc. That she left blank. We hugged a long while & said goodbye a few more times as I ran around doing final checks. Dharmajun went into Pheonix to visit his sister, so we didn’t get to say goodbye. As I got into the car, I called to Rukmini to “tell the old tree we know to say goodbye & give him my email address.”

Swamiji drove me into town. We wove through the canyon roads, looking at the flooded rivers & waterfalls pouring down from the rocks. We spoke only of wisdoms of life & then sat in silence- which felt good. He said I would probably benefit from a weekly, routine practice of Mouna. Which I know will be true. My brain has a lot of chatter trying to keep up with all the lovely people in my world- and the silence helps return me to stillness, so I can speak from peace & love without becoming overwhelmed. I contemplated the new routines I would bring into my life- Breath practices, asana practices & mindfulness- not because I feel any obligation to. Simply because I realized how much joy & balance they give me. It’s been truly beautiful to learn it all properly- in a way that sinks down deep. And furthermore, concretes the path I was already travelling on.

As we pulled into Flagstaff, I said my goodbyes to Swami. He said I was more then welcomed back at any point I wished- just as a guest, or as staff. I feel I will definitely return. Arizona is wild & vigorous, and peaceful and calm all at once. I feel a huge connection with the land & the people here. I had a few hours to myself, so I checked my big bag at the train station & walked around. Flagstaff is small, and so, most of the stores were closing as I walked. It definitely has a cool vibe about it- a surprising amount of young people & a palatable local art scene. Like Sedona, there are also plenty of stores that sell crystals & new-agey type stuff. I found a cute-college-vibe pizza place to grab something to eat- which by happy co-incidence, had my favourite slice on special. Artichoke heart, parm, fresh basil & sun-dried tomatoes. It was ideal. The people that worked there were all young, tattooed skater-types. I tried not to linger that long, but I quickly became very comfortable eating the slices of pizza & drawing funny creatures in my sketchbook. Around 8 I wandered back to the train station & made a nice butt groove there- again reading & drawing & sitting my thoughts. My train was originally scheduled for 9:30, but after several delays, finally arrived at 11pm. (That wasn’t the only train trouble--- they also over-charged me multiple times on my visa--- which I am still working on getting a refund for).

As I got on the train, there was a young girl in my seat- a senior in high school that was visiting her sister’s sorority this weekend for a formal. I let her know that she was in my seat, but she told me there was something on hers & so she couldn’t sit there. I looked around the train and there was no other seat available. So rather than fight her, I sat in the seat she refused. All out of love for her. It meant that I was sitting in train 0003, car three, seat 3 on the 3rd day of March (the third month!)--- so must have been a reallllly good sign. I think the little boy in front of us might have peed on it? I don’t know. I lay down a few magazines & a blanket and it was fine. She was feeling a little chatty, but it was the overnight train & so most people were trying to sleep. She told me I’d really like Venice Beach & asked me how old I was. I think she thought I was her age, until she realized I was an adult, despite my baby face. She told me of all her plans to go to community college, then university & then join the navy & see the world that way- but for now, she was in Ontario, California, living with her mother. Eventually, we both fell asleep... me first I think.

----------------------------------------------------

California

When I woke up, the sun began to peek in through the curtains, we were just leaving the desert of Joshua tree national park & I did get to see, albeit briefly, some of those special/weirdo trees. I plan on coming back through that park for longer when I come back through California with my sisters in the next few years (which Petra & I made plans for on the train). I tried my best to keep still & listen to the world around me. There was a nun a few rows a head of me, and in between was a famil that were yelling at eachother, shoes all over the floor. It was a funny moment of human existence. The landscape flickered by- mountain scapes, dunescapes, decorated with the most vivid colours. The hills were covered in flowers- yellow, orange & purple. The houses all with that spanish-style terracotta roofing.

The LA train station is a brilliantly beautiful art-deco style building. It occurred to me, while I walked through it, that I had once written an architecture paper on it. The ceilings are high like a church, the seats low and leathery. The tiling was all done in jewel tones of the era & done in oriental-referenced geometric patterns. Another traveller dropped their bag by the grand piano & played Debussy’s ‘Claire de Lune’ I leaned on the poll & closed my eyes to listen for a long while. I’ve always loved that song, it’s gentle & beautiful. When I was ready, I texted Gopala that I had arrived. He pulled up outside the station & I through my bags in the back of the car dancing through traffic, then runnning around the front & sticking my hand through the window to jingle the passenger-side door open. I hopped in & was flooded back with memories of the Ashram that felt like so long ago in many ways, expect time itself. The inside of Gopala’s car is basically a shrine, with pictures of Gurus & Krishna, as well as prayer flags & sticker with uplifting quotes on it. Gopala told me all about the Sivanada centre there & I think he wanted me to stay there with him, but I reminded him that I have family here, that I was eager to spend lots of time with. That night was Shivaratri- The celebration of the high god Shiva. There was meant to be dancing, and singing & puja’s all night long. He advised me to sleep while I could- but all I knew for sure at that moment was that I was happy to be in LA & keen to see Mia.

The centre, as it turns out is quite close to Eric’s place on Catamaran street. We drove around looking for food, until my uncle Eric called me back, which he did, before we actually managed to find a place to eat. I tried my best not to fling the door open and crash-run into Mia, who turned out to be in the shower. Tom, Mia’s ex-boyfriend was sitting at the kitchen table with Caroline, Eric’s finace (who are both Australian). I basically rushed into the bathroom anyways & Mia and I rushed into a conversation. She did look surprised, but probably because she didn’t expect me to rush into the bathroom like that (which isn’t actually that unusual in our family actually). We all got ready & went out for lunch- which was, surprise surprise, Mexican food. Eric showed up there to join us & asked me if Mia looked surprised. Turned out, when I was on the phone with him earlier, Mia decided to snoop on his phone & so knew I was coming-- and just wanted the practice her acting skills. Which makes me laugh even now. She really did have me convinced I had surprised her. After lunch, we walked down to the beach- which is stunning, even considering it’s very much in the city. There were surfer’s in the water in full-winter suits. Mia & Tom had tried to go surfing earlier that day-- but it was too cold they claimed. It’s probably because I am used to the frigid Atlantic (not to mention multiple polar bear swims), but I rushed into the water & waded as deep I could manage without getting my shorts wet. It was so nice to meet that Ocean- the one that for so long, felt so far away & was suddenly at my feet.

MIa & I went back to the house to change our foot wear to prepare for a local hike in Runyon Canyon- which is a pretty popular spot for nature seekers within the contex of LA. We met up with Tom at the car rental place and were silly in the lobby of the fancy hotel in Mariana Del Rey The drive through the city had me captivated. There were SO many Tesla’s on the road there, and plenty more fancy, pantsy cars. We drove through Beverly Hills, and I gawked at all the fancy houses there & wondered who in the world could possibly live there. The entrance to the trail is in Hollywood, and so we drove through those busy streets as well- Sunset, Hollywood Blvd. The climb was steep & filled with fancy people in their fancy work out gear, but also regular looking people. It was actually surprisingly challenging at times, and I was so awed by some of the older ladys that managed those near, vertical inclines. One in particular seemed like an old pro- Pointing into the sprawling skyline “look, there’s capital records, there is *such and such* hotel, there is where I first worked when I first got to the city*. Mia & Tom & I stopped a few times to take pictures, which I haven’t been super great at doing. It felt nice to indulge for a little while. Especially for the sake of Mia & I having a picture together.

We got some groceries & returned to the house, kinda exhausted. Gopala had called me while I was out & hadn’t noticed.. because my phone is so full, it hardly register’s any notifications anymore. Gopala was still extremely keen for me to go to the ceremony, but I was already falling asleep & it was like 7pm... there was no way I was going to last that long comfortably, so I called him to say I wasn’t going to go & that I hoped he understood. I fell asleep on Mia’s bed with a belly full of fresh pasta & garlic bread & avocado toast. James & I also tried to catch after severally rounds of phone tag, until I passed out cold & somehow managed to crawl over to the couch.

I woke up yoga-time (extremely early) and sat and watched the sunrise from the terrace at the back of the apartment. I waited a slightly more reasonable amount of time before going to wake Mia- cause she said she’d wanted to join me in Yoga on the beach in the morning. Tom & I were both feeling more morning-y, Mia a little less so. We walked to the beach barefooted with towels to stretch out on. We watched the early morning surfer’s as I coached them through the breathing exercises. I let up a little, because I sensed they weren’t as into it as I was, so I continued my practice as they did their morning thing. That is-- until a sudden huge wave came up and soak us all- phones, shoes, towels and all. We decided to turn back to the house with our heavy clothing.

And now here I sit, in the living room of the apartment, writing this-- trying to sort out my banking stuff & figure out a way to clear up some space on my cellphone. We’ve got dreams of going to chinatown & Hollywood, and maybe a few thrift stores while we are here. But for now, we chillin’. Gopala wants to meet up today, and I might have a few friends that happen to be in this neck of the woods too-- who knows!

0 notes