#mouth stained red after he got in the red velvet cake batter

[ohimsummer]

CATORU EATING

EAT EAT EAT EAT

[jungshookz]

the one where yoongi finds the scrapbook you didn’t have the chance to give him

☁ pairing: min yoongi x reader  

☁ genre: android!yoongi universe, heartwrenching angst, sad hours!! 

☁ summary: yoongi misses you more than you could ever know. 

☁ wordcount: 2.4k 

☁ trigger warnings: mentions of character death

☁ note: sUPER!!!!! important that you listen to this while you read the drabble to set the mood! i tried to keep the drabble short so that you’d be able to finish reading it just as the song wraps up buT once again this was a baby drabble that spun out of control so i suppose you could always play it on repeat til ya finish reading lol // this drabble honestly came out of nowhere buT it was really gloomy out today so i wrote a drabble inspired by the movie ‘up’

(gif isn’t mine!)

                                   ━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

yoongi first stumbles upon the scrapbook when going through the closet to choose an outfit for you (he ended up choosing that dark blue floral dress you liked so much)

he thought it was one of your old notebooks from university but… it’s not

it was tucked underneath a whole bunch of old shoe boxes filled with extra nuts and bolts and wires

‘𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓯𝓯 𝔀𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓭’

yoongi furrows his brows as he brushes his fingers over the foam letters that have obviously been hot glued onto the front of the faded leather journal

he opens the book to a random page and his eyes immediately start watering when he sees your handwriting

you always did have the prettiest handwriting

‘remember when-‘

yoongi slaps the book shut and shakes his head before tucking it away and getting back up onto his creaky knees 

(namjoon’s starting to lose his touch) ((yoongi noticed his frail fingers trembling the other day when he was tightening a screw in his leg))

he’s not going to read the book

yoongi shuts the closet door quietly

he’s not going to even open the book

so

the thing is

yoongi still hasn’t touched the book but he’s thought about it every single day

he hasn’t touched it because he knows that if he opens it up and looks through it the realisation that you’re no longer with him will finally start to sink in

he knows it’s been two months since you passed

he knows it’s been two months since he last held your hand and kissed you and told you how much he loved you

he knows it’s been two months since he last woke up to the sight of you curled up next to him

he knows it’s been two months since he’s started coming back to a cold and dark apartment instead of a warm and bright one where you greet him at the door and smother him in kisses before starting to blab about your day

it’s just

weird

it’s weird not having you around

it’s weird not hearing you tinker around in the kitchen at three in the morning snacking on some animal crackers or going hAm on a tub of ice cream (even after all these years he still thinks it’s funny how you always seem to think you can get away with your midnight snacking) 

it’s weird having to wash and dry the dishes all by himself because you were always the designated dryer and he’s caught himself holding out a freshly washed plate next to him on more than one occasion

he’s used to you standing right next to him and now there’s no one there

it’s weird doing all the chores alone 

you were awful at folding the laundry but yoongi liked having you next to him struggling to fold up a pair of jeans 

it’s weird not seeing you vacuum the living room while humming a song to yourself and bopping around all over the place 

it’s weird when he cooks dinner now because he doesn’t have you peeking over his shoulder and begging him to give you a little taste of the spaghetti sauce before he plates dinner 

it’s weird watching tv alone

it’s weird not turning his head and seeing you all snuggled up on your sofa chair because you fell asleep halfway through a movie of yoongi’s choice (you were never really an action movie person)

it’s weird not having to pull the covers aggressively over him halfway through the night because you were always a blanket hogger

it’s weird not making faces with you in the mirror every morning when the two of you are brushing your teeth

he hasn’t touched any of your things

your toothbrush is still sitting next to his

the right side of the bed still belongs to you

the framed picture of you and namjoon from university days still sits on your bedside counter (right next to the framed picture of you and yoongi at that pottery place you took him to for his birthday) ((the two of you are sitting across from each other and your clay-stained hands are squishing yoongi’s cheeks together while yoongi’s face is all scrunched up)) (((jungkook took the photo)))

the right side of the closet still belongs to you

all your old cardigans and sweaters and t-shirts (some borrowed aka stolen from yoongi) are still hanging there

the knitted blanket that he made for you still hangs over the arm of your chair in the living room 

he hasn’t even touched the jar of soft caramel chews that sit on the coffee table (it took a loT of convincing for yoongi to let you fill an entire jar up with candy)

the apartment is far too quiet

the only thing that can be heard right now is the soft pitter patter of the rain against the windows and the occasional rumble of thunder

yoongi glances out the window for a brief second and watches as a flash of lightning lights up the sky for a moment

it’s been raining a lot as of late

you always thought that rainy days were perfect for staying inside to snuggle up together and read a book

yoongi perks up slightly and looks down the hallway to where the bedroom is

…a book.

“You were never really an arts and crafts person, so this is a surprise to me.” yoongi says aloud as he sits back down on his chair with the leather scrapbook on his lap

he smooths a hand over the front cover and raises a brow when he notices one of the foam letters coming loose “You have the crafting abilities of a child, you know that?”

he can practically feel you slapping his arm and letting out a whine at how hard he’s ripping into your crafting abilities

he gives it a quick flip through as to prepare himself for all the things he’s about to see

the book is practically bursting considering it seems like you tried to shove as much stuff in here as possible

also the pages smell like the perfume you like to wear 

very sweet and flowery 

you’ve taped polaroid pictures in there along with other little mementoes like movie tickets and a copy of your work ID from bangtan laboratories and even a copy of yoongi’s blueprints that you stole from namjoon and a couple dried petals from the bouquet of roses yoongi gave to you on one valentine’s day aND of course the bracelets you got from when yoongi took you to the winter carnival

there are even the photobooth pictures that you guys took at the carnival

yoongi proposed to you halfway through posing for pictures because he wanted to be able to capture the exact moment he asked you to marry him

the first picture is of you mimicking yoongi’s poker face (he always thought your poker face was shiT) ((and he was right)) with yoongi rolling his eyes next to you

the second picture is of you with your tongue sticking out and your eyes crossed as yoongi is faced away from the camera rummaging through his jacket pocket

the third picture is of you suddenly being aware of the purple velvet box yoongi has in his hand and the look of pure shock on your face aLways makes him laugh

the fourth picture is of you with watery eyes and a gaPing mouth because yoongi just asked you to marry him

and the last picture is of you practically tackling yoongi in the cramped booth

all that can be seen is one of yoongi’s legs and arms in the air because you did actually tackle him strAight out of the booth

he flips to the next page and purses his lips when he sees that there’s nothing on the page besides a hastily written note

‘flip to page 6’

hm

yoongi can’t help but snort lightly when he sees the note you left for him on page 6

‘made you look, you gullible-ass android - you were always so easy to prank! still love you though xoxoxoxoxo’

it looks like you left a kiss mark next to the note even though it’s kind of faded now

he always liked it when you wore that wine-red lipstick

‘remember when you got mad at me for breaking my bracelet that one time? …i kind of did it again.’  

you took your bracelet apart and pulled out the wires and then glued them into the shape of a heart for the sake of sticking it into your scrapbook and yoongi laughs lightly at the memory of him taking care of you all night after he picked you up from that club and you were practically stumbling all over the damn place

he remembers how you asked him to stay with you that night after he tucked you into bed

and he did

he stayed with you

you told him he was warm and he said it was because of his generator

he only said that because he was nervous!!!!

there’s a handwritten recipe for chocolate chip zucchini bread taped to this page

he smiles and dusts his fingers over the spot on the page that’s been stained with chocolate

he remembers how he insisted on making zucchini bread for your birthday instead of a traditional birthday cake because it was his way of sneaking more vegetables into your diet and aLso it has less sugar and is less fattening so!!!!

also zucchini bread is vEry good and you can’t even taste the zucchini so it’s a win-win situation

and somehow you had snuck into the kitchen while he left to go dig through the pantry for some sugar and you had sprinkled a handful of chocolate chips into the batter before quickly getting the heCk out of there

yoongi hadn’t noticed the chocolate chips until he cut a slice for you and noticed that his knife had streaks of melted chocolate and-

“You didn’t.” yoongi gawks and watches as you rip a chunk off and pop it into your mouth

you swallow your bite and hum happily “oh, but i did!”

yoongi sighs and reaches over to dot a bit of melted chocolate onto the tip of your nose “You drive me absolutely crazy, you know that?”

“i’ve been told.”

and on this page you made a little pocket and slipped the CD from your wedding into it

‘side a has our wedding video; side b has all the songs we danced to.’

yoongi recalls the night you came home with a whole list of songs that you wanted to dance to at the wedding

yoongi wasn’t programmed to be a dancing android so he was ready to download some software and become a professional waltzer in five seconds flat but you stopped him because you said you wanted to teach him how to dance

“Learning is hard.” yoongi grumbles as he tries to figure out the footwork of the waltz “Also, shouldn’t I be leading this dance?”

“i’m going to lose my toes if you lead the dance.” you snort and hit the play button on your phone “now, c’mon!”

yoongi lets out a sigh as you place your hand on his shoulder and he reaches out to grip at your waist

you take his other hand in yours and take a step forward

yoongi takes a step back at the same time

okay

yeah

this is boring

yoongi’s not doing this

“I do not want to waltz.” 

you let out a gasp when yoongi suddenly spins you around in a circle before pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist

“Can we dance like this?” he grabs your arms before hanging them loosely around his neck

you let out a soft giggle and lean in to press your forehead against his as the two of you sway back and forth “you’re lucky i love you so much.”

“That is one of the reasons as to why you are marrying me, yes?”

“…you got me there.”

as he continues to flip through the book and look through all the memories that he shared with you, yoongi feels a lump growing in his throat and a twinge of pain blossom in his chest when he reaches the last page and sees that you’ve left a note for him

he brushes his fingers across each word

‘to my favourite human mind model adaptive super android, m1n y00ng1: thank you for giving me the best years of my life. thank you for being my best friend. thank you for the adventure of a lifetime. i love you. yours forever, y/n.’

the note is fairly short and sweet but it still manages to make yoongi let out a choked sob

thank you for giving me the best years of my life.

you were the best thing to ever happen to him

thank you for being my best friend. thank you for the adventure of a lifetime.

you made him so immensely happy and he’s enjoyed spending his life with you because you really were the love of his life

i love you.

he loves you now and he’ll love you forever.  

he misses you.

he misses you so much it hurts

he misses the sound of your laugh and the feeling of your skin and the smell of your hair

he misses hearing you call for him when you need help with something and he misses having you scold him for not charging up overnight and instead playing video games with jungkook (it took more than a couple years but he eventually warmed up to the goofball)

yoongi’s vision is completely blurred from how many tears keep leaking out of his eyes

he reaches up to cover his face with his hands after a droplet drips down from his chin and bleeds into the paper

this is the first time he’s properly sobbed since your funeral

he kept it together for the most part but as soon as he got home and shut the door behind him he collapsed to his knees and began to cry his heart out

but of course

he knew that you always hated seeing him cry so he forced himself to get a hold of himself for as long as possible

but looking through this scrapbook that you made detailing your guys’ life together is just too much for him to bear

he holds the book to his chest and shuts his eyes before leaning his head back against the plush chair

a single tear rolls down the side of his face

yoongi misses you every day

but on your guys’ anniversary?

he can’t help but miss you a little more than usual.

[mnemememory]

[video description: a Bengal cat is sitting in the middle of the frame, eyes fixed on something just above the camera’s lens. He stays there for almost five minutes, not moving. 

A door slams just off to the side, and the cat flinches. 

“HA! I WIN! I WIN!” 

A pair of battered boots comes into the scene. “What is –?” 

“I WIN!” 

Text scrolls across the suddenly blank video: [Triumph is mine!]

STARING CONTEST WITH ROOMMATE’S CAT – part 12

NottTheBrave 

[subscribe] 9,409 views

Posted 23/02/2018

Another Staring Contest With The Devil – Nott 3 | Frumpkin 9…SHOW MORE

[video description: A woman is standing in front of a tall wall, dressed in blue sweatpants and a black tank top. She has a long stick held loosely in her hands. Every few seconds, she spins it around so she can better show off her muscles.

Next to her is a tall man with dark skin and a long scar running up from his top lip and across his cheek. He is dressed very thoroughly in padded armour and is side-eyeing the woman and her big stick with what would appear to be a healthy dose of concern.

The woman waves her arms around. The man narrowly dodges underneath the stick.

“Hello, my lovely viewers,” the woman says, grinning. “Today, we’re going to film a man getting hit in the dick with my staff.”

“Beau,” the man says, genuine alarm settling across his classically handsome features. “I didn’t agree to that –”

The scene cuts ahead. The sun is well up in the sky by now. The man is even more thoroughly padded across every inch of his body, so much so that he can barely waddle around without falling over. He attempts to do so, shuffling to the side so he can stare balefully at the camera. Beau is nowhere to be seen.

“Hi,” he says. “My name is Fjord, over at CaptainTusktooth on YouTube, Twitter and Instagram” – links flash across the page, along with the words ‘lol go and tweet him GIF’s from The Ring’ – “And today, I’m going to be acting as a crash-dummy for –”

“Stop boring my viewers!” Beau yells off-screen.

Fjord gives the camera a long stare. It zooms in a little bit to capture how dead inside he looks, the ambient upbeat music momentarily replaced with the sound of violins.

“This is what happens,” he says. “When you lose a bet with your girlfriend. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t make bets with your girlfriend. You will lose.”

Beau cackles off-screen. The tip of her staff whips along the edge of the frame as she warms up. Fjord looks at her, then back at the camera.

“Jester,” he says. “If I die, I want you to know that this is entirely your fault and –”

“Here I come!”

The scene cuts to Fjord giving a loud, high shriek as he stumbles back. The moment replays once in slow motion, the colour saturated out and violins playing in the background, and then cuts to them both standing in side-by-side.

“Okay, so here’s how to actually hit someone –”

Beau continues to demonstrate how to hit someone without actually hurting them, and then how to hit someone and absolutely hurt them. Fjord remains stoic throughout, though ever so often he’ll make a pained face to the camera whenever Beau lands too-hard a hit. The video ends with a montage of Fjord’s uncomfortable faces overlaid with his initial scream].

 I Hit A Man So Hard He Screams | ft. CaptainTusktooth

boBeauboBeaubo1

[subscribe] 16,754 views

Posted 03/02/2018

Join me and my crash-dummy and fellow YouTuber CaptainTusktooth (yes, that’s his real name) as I hit him a lot with my staff…SHOW MORE

[video description: A woman with short blue-dyed hair and glitter-dusted freckles is standing in front of an expensive-looking kitchen. Her apron has the words ‘My Cooking Is So Good Even The Smoke Alarm Cheers Me On’ stitched in pink thread across her chest. The intro theme – which consists of tiny bubble unicorns stampeding across the screen dragging the words ‘Jester Fancypants McGee!’ behind them – pops with a burst of sparkly animation.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Jester says, waving her arms around.

From behind the camera, a quiet voice says something. Words appear at the bottom of the screen:

[Yasha: Your right hand is out of frame]

Jester beams, shifting a little more to the right.

[Yasha: No, you have to go the other way]

Jester shuffles to her left. She seems to receive some kind of non-verbal confirmation that she is corrected positioned, because she starts back up again with no less enthusiasm.

“In honour of Valentines Day, we’re going to do be doing something very special. Do you know what my favourite kind of cake is?”

There is a moment’s silence.

[Yasha: Wait, do you want me to answer that?]

 “Red Velvet Cake!” Jester yells at the same time, flinging her arms into the air. “And do you know what that reminds me of?”

Another moment of silence.

[Yasha: …blood?]

“Blood!” Jester yells at the same time. “Oh, you got it right Yasha! Good for you.”

There is a small sigh.

“Here’s what you’re going to need to make this very wonderfully bloody Valentine’s Day Red Velvet Cake,” Jester says. She points at the white granite tabletop and snaps her fingers. Through the magic of jump-cut editing, it soon becomes littered with messily measured bowels of ingredients. Text appears to the side in curly lettering: For ingredients and full recipe, check link to Jester’s blog in the description!!!

The cake that takes form is less anatomically correct than artistically creative, complete with googly-eyes and a dramatically screaming mouth. Jester stands back from her work with a proud smile. She wipes her stained fingers down the length of her apron, which now resembles something out of a particularly gruesome horror movie. Her face is splattered with red food colouring, her nose tipped with a puffy smear of cream cheese icing.

“And there you have it!” she says proudly. “My Valentine’s Day –”

Someone stumbles into the scene. Fjord is very obviously tired, limbs dragging with lethargy, dark bruises visible along his arms. He takes one look at the destroyed kitchen, horror-movie girlfriend, and camera-setup, and then turns around and leaves. An edited frowny face follows him out of frame].

the coolest and most fun valentine’s day cake in the history of ever

Jester Fancypants McGee

[subscribe] 27,490 views

Posted 12/02/2018

Prepare for Vonderful Vampire Valentine’s Day with this one-of-a-kind Red Velvet heart – cake...SHOW MORE

[video description: Fjord is sitting on a comfortable-looking couch that is covered in all kinds of animal rug-skins. The person sitting next to him has shoulder-length blond hair and is almost comically well-dressed compared to Fjord’s own jeans and cowboy boots.

Fjord stares dead at the camera.

“Welcome,” he drawls. “To Fjord’s Yee-Haw Game Ranch.”

 Fjord’s Yee-Haw Game Ranch: Red Dead 2 ft. Bryce

CaptainTusktooth

[subscribe] 15,783 views

Posted 26/02/2018

Well howdy there, partners! Welcome to Fjord’s Yee-haw Game Ranch, where I – Captain Tusktooth, AKA Fjord – and Bryce….SHOW MORE

[video description: a tall, skinny man is sitting calmly in the middle of a graveyard. The stones are warped and faded enough that the names are completely unrecognisable, the camera focused in a way that the shadowed trees are a black silhouette against his back.

“Hello, children,” the man says. He is dressed in bright pastels, his hair dyed a fluorescent pink. “Today we are going to make the perfect cup of tea.”

 He calmly sets up a tripod with a large, antique black kettle hooked over the top. He sets a small fire underneath it and sits and stares at the camera.

After five minutes of waiting, he checks the kettle and is apparently satisfied with the results, because he goes over to one of the graves and begin to pick some flowers. There is no sound other than the crackle of the fire and the distant, creak of tree branches pushed about by the breeze.

The man returns to his spot and begins to grind up some purple flowers in a mortar and pestle, gently brushing the contents the clay cup when he is done. He sits back with a low, contented sigh and stares at something behind the camera for a little while.

When the kettle begins to make some noise, the man gets to his feet and takes the kettle off the tripod, pouring it into the cup. He stirs it for a little bit with a small stick, and then blows gently over the top. Steam curls up from the cup towards the sky in delicate, smoky tendrils.

The man waits for a few minutes, and then takes a long, generous sip of the tea.

“Aaah,” he says. “Thank you for experiencing this with me, children. This is a very good cup of tea.”

 making the perfect cup of tea

Mr. Clay

[subscribe] 20,001 views

Posted 02/02/2018

Making tea…SHOW MORE

[video description: the camera is focused downward at a table full of buttons. There is no apparent uniformity to the size, design or colour – some of them have the paint chipped away, while others sparkle in the dim lighting. There isn’t any room in the frame for the rest of the room. There is no background music.

“Good morning, everyone. Today I welcome you to my button collection.”

A pair of green-gloved hands reach out from both sides of the frame to shift around the buttons. More buttons are revealed.

“This is one of my favourites,” the disembodied voice says. The gloved hand grabs onto a small, clear glass button to hold it up to the lens. It swims in and out of focus for a few seconds. “There was a lovely tailor shop that I lived behind for a while which just threw these away, can you believe –”

“Nott? Have you seen my cat?”

“I’m filming –”

The scene cuts again. The lighting has changed and become much brighter. The buttons on the table have obviously been messed around with. The green-gloved hand is holding up another button up for the camera to inspect, this one bronze-looking and intricately designed.

“I found this one on the coat of a dead person washed up next to the sewer I was hiding behind. I had to polish it a lot to get the bloodstains out of the cracks, but I think it came out okay.”

The rest of the video continues in a similar vein, with the green-gloved hand choosing buttons from the table seemingly at random and relaying stories about each of them. At one point, a cat jumps up onto the table and starts pawing through the buttons, but the green-gloved hand shoos it away before it can eat any of them].

 EPIC BUTTON COLLECTION

NottTheBrave

[subscribe] 2,354 views

Posted 11/03/2018

I share my button collection....SHOW MORE

BONUS

[video description: a tall, androgynous-looking man who has perfect purple-and-gold eyeshadow and is covered in tattoos stares fixedly at the camera. He is sitting cross-legged on a bed covered in throw-pillows that do not match. He is slowly tapping his nails – which are painted a lime green with glitter accents – along his knee.

“Well, well, well,” he says, lazily stretching out his shoulders. “I bet you thought I had died.”

Someone clears their voice offscreen.

“Well, I didn’t!” he continues hastily, voice bright and cheerful. “Which is the important thing to remember here. No one is dead. I continue to grace you with my presence through your computer screens. Less Mollymauk Tealeaf is still better than none!”

Another throat-clear, this time louder and more pointed.

Mollymauk rolls his eyes. “Since my last foundation tutorial seemed to go over well, I thought I should demonstrate some more advanced –”

Someone barges into screen, shoving Mollymauk off to the side and glaring at the camera. Her shirt if cobalt blue. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest. Her makeup is smudgy and old.

“Hey, Molly,” she says. “Why don’t you tell your lovely viewers why you’ve been so radio silent these past few weeks.”

“I said you could watch so long as you didn’t interfere! This is going to be a mess trying to edit out –”

“No one wants to watch your foundation, they want to know about –”

“I am a very private person, Beau, and I don’t appreciate –”

Someone comes into frame. She is very tall, with heavy dark makeup and frost-pale skin. Her eyes narrow at the bickering duo, and then she turns her back onto them.

“He got hit by a car,” she says.

“Yasha! Get back behind the camera!”

Yasha shrugs and goes out of frame. Mollymauk is currently in a headlock.

“Wait, on second thought, come and save me –!”

The scene cuts into the future, with Mollymauk and Beau sitting on opposite ends of the bed glaring at each other. They are both noticeably more dishevelled than earlier. Mollymauk’s makeup does, however, remain impeccable.

Words appear at the bottom of the screen:

[We put it to a vote. Molly was outvoted 2 to 1. You’re welcome]

“Fine,” Mollymauk finally says, sulkily uncrossing his arms and sitting up a little straighter. “This can be my impromptu Q&A! I haven’t done one of those in a while, anyway. To make a long story short –

“Very short,” mutters Beau.

“– I was run over by one of my exes.”

“One of your asshole exes,” Beau says. “You always forget to mention that.”

“Well, I thought the fact that he ran me over with his car made that fairly self-explanatory.”

“People are stupid. They need things spelled out for them.”

“Well, maybe you’re not –”

There is another jump cut. There are noticeably less pillows on the bed, and the ones that remain have been moved around. Beau is gazing sulkily off into the corner.

“I basically broke up with him because he started being a creep to some friends of mine,” Mollymauk says, glancing down at his nails. “And when they told me some of the things he said – well, it wasn’t exactly the most heartbreaking decision I’ve ever made. It was rather cathartic, actually.”

“And then he ran you over with a car.”

“I’m getting to that, calm down. Since Lorenzo wouldn’t stop harassing me, I decided to – well, you know what, that’s not a very internet-friendly story. Needless to say, he made the decision to cut off all contact.”

“With you,” Beau mutters. Mollymauk ignores her.

“Unfortunately, he isn’t exactly – the hamster’s dead, but the wheel’s still turning, if you know what I mean. Since I’m rather publicly affiliated with this simply charming young woman –”

“Fuck you, Molly.”

“– he decided to be rather unpleasant.”

Beau scowls. “This idiot pushed me out of the way of that car and was in a coma for a good week. Thanks, dickhead.”

“I’m so sorry for saving your life, it won’t happen next time.”

[I just cut out the next part because I had to bleep everything out, and it wasn’t worth it]

The scene cuts again. Molly is sitting in centre frame, back straight and grin wide. Beau is nowhere to be seen. The bed is a mess, with most of the pillows shoved into the corner.

“Since this devolved a little, I guess my next video will have to be the foundation one! So sorry for that, my lovely viewers, but really what you need to know is that I’m back and will once again be uploading on schedule. So long, farewell, and I’ll see you next time.”

Molly blows a kiss to the camera, and the scene ends.

 My Ex Ran Me Over With His Car | Impromptu Q&A With boBeauboBeaubo1

Mollymauk Tealeaf

[subscribe] 2,097,364 views

Posted 12/07/2018

While I think the title is fairly self-explanatory, I do want to assure people that I’m all better now with only a few scars…SHOW MORE

[sterekchub]

Part 1.

A/N: I’m really sorry. This got SO far away from me and....yeah. 

OCTOBER:

Legend has it that that the Being created the Gods and Goddesses to bring balance to the newly created Earth. Heaven was split into two groups – the Virtues and Sins. The God of Giving and the Goddess of Greed. The Goddess of Moderation and the God of Gluttony. Chastity and Lust. Forgiveness and Wrath. Truth and Heresy. Peace and Violence. One day, Greed decided she wanted total dominion over the Earth. Joined by the other Sins, they tried to overthrow the Virtues.

As punishment, the Being cast the Sins out of Heaven. Unable to destroy immortal beings, they were sentenced to their own domain in the Circles of Hell. The Sins would be cursed for all eternity, unable to partake in their own sins,  only able to watch over other sinning souls.

Once every hundred years, on All Hallows Eve, the Sins can cross from the Circles of Hell into limbo into the mortal world. Only by possessing a kindred soul can the Sins stay in the mortal world for twelve lunar cycles, before returning to  - .

The last word got smeared out by a large blob of ketchup.

“Shit!” Stiles hurriedly grabbed a napkin to clean off the offending strain. He only succeeded in turning the majority of the page a dull red. Shrugging, he stuffed another handful of fries in his mouth, marking the page down as he did so with a blue sticky note, indicating a true myth, rather than a “myth likely to be factual.”

“How’s it going?” Scott stopped and sniffed the air. “Your room reeks like a drive-thru. Have you been eating fast food all week?”

Stiles waved a fry at him. “Hey, this is all brain food.  Deaton gave me all these books and I think half of them are all nonsense. Werewolves and banshees and wendigoes are one thing, Gods and circles of Hell are just made up stories.”

“Have time to take a break and catch a movie? It’s the Halloween double-feature: Scream and Nightmare on Elm Street.”

“Hell yes, Dude!”

***

NOVEMBER:

Two weeks after Halloween, Stiles finally caved and went to see Deaton. It took a while to explain his problem. He wasn’t being possessed like he had been before. There were no periods of time he couldn’t remember, no second voice in his head influencing his decisions. He wasn’t watching helplessly as someone else controlled his body. There was, however, something in his head constantly suggesting foods, regardless if he had just eaten or not. Stiles would eat his usual Chinese take-out order and suddenly find himself desperately craving pizza, his mind buzzing and unable to focus on anything else.

Deaton, as his usual expressive self, didn’t say a word until Stiles was finished his explanation. Then he pulled out the book Stiles had been pouring over weeks ago and opened to the ketchup-stained, blue tagged page.

“Are you kidding me? I thought it was a myth.”

“Most of the supernatural world is a myth.”

“So I’m possessed by an immortal being. Again.”

Deaton nodded. “Gluttony is not malicious in nature. The Sins only possess humans to ah – live vicariously through them. It cannot control you.  Likely it will seek to share and intensify any of you experiences, not try to manipulate you into new ones.”

Stiles’ stomach grumbled. “Really?’

‘It can offer suggestions and perhaps forceful persuasions but aside from the cravings, it holds no actual power.”

“Great. So I’m a demon’s personal eating machine.”

“You could try fighting it. It will only last a year. It may be beneficial. Typically Demon possession does offer the host with extra strength and stamina to ensure their health.”

“Wonderful.”

***

DECEMBER

Stiles had never been happier to have a job that allowed him to work from home. It turned out the trick to keep the cravings down was to either eat a lot at once, or be constantly snacking. So long as Stiles kept munching on things every few minutes, he could actually focus on his work, rather than focusing on his next meal. It had taken him a few weeks of trying to fight against the constant grumbling of his stomach and fleeing images of food running across his head, but finally Stiles had gotten into the swing of living with a Gluttony Demon residing in his head.

It started with Oreos. Stiles had pulled open his desk drawer to finish off the last row of Oreos, needing something sweet after his afternoon of munching on chips. Apparently, finishing those off wasn’t enough and Stiles found himself compelled to run to the store for more. Stiles felt a thrill of excitement that definitely did not belong to him when he saw just how many varieties the stored offered. Stiles supposed that, not having tasted food in a hundred years, the choices of the 21st century were overwhelming.

One of everything went into his basket, Oreos thins, mini, double-stuffed, golden, birthday cake, mega stuffed, mint, red velvet, cinnamon bun, lemon, mystery flavored, peanut butter, chocolate, chocolate hazelnut, chocolate peanut-butter, brownie batter, apple pie, fudge covered, and completely unnecessarily, regular. Stiles gave the Demon credit – he wasn’t picky and wanted to be very thorough in his attempts to try everything possible.

The boxes were finished by the end of the week. It really wasn’t a hardship. Stiles always had a big sweet tooth. Plus, who didn’t love Oreos? He tried not to think about how it took a few seconds longer to force his button his pants on Sunday. Or about how his normal junk-food cravings were becoming alarming frequent and a staple of his daily diet. Stiles’ always had a fast metabolism. For the amount of pizza and cafeteria food Stiles ate during college, he only had put on the freshman fifteen. So he could handle a few hundred Oreos. No problem.

“It’s really not that bad,” he told his father one night on the phone. “It’s an excuse to eat anything I want.”

“You have always been a model of restraint,” John replied sarcastically.

“Someone had to keep the unhealthy stuff away from you.”

‘Just take care of yourself, kid. And don’t call me when you get stuck in a doorway.”

“Haha. It’s under control, Dad. Don’t worry.”

***

JANUARY

Things were becoming less “under control” when the Demon had gone through all the possible snacks Stiles could think of and progressed to wanting full meals. Multiple meals. Several times a day. It was becoming increasingly frustrating to try and work on his novel. He was either focused on what he was going to eat or was sleepily watching dumb videos online as he fell into a food coma. Optimistically, he told himself it was just a phase. Last month it had been snacks, this month it was meals, next month maybe it would be fruit or salads or something.

Currently, he was laying on his couch, polishing off the last of his Chinese takeout order, with reruns of some HGTV show playing in the background. He really did feel like a glutton when he ate like this. He should have stopped a container of sweet and sour pork and five egg rolls ago, but he had kept going. It was hard to tell if the cravings were the Demon in his head or the subconscious need to finish everything. Just to see if he could. Just to feel the weight of having his gut filled, swollen and protruding over his waistband, forcing him to take a few more bites of food, pushing the final egg roll into his mouth before leaning back against the couch with a soft moan of relief. He closed his eyes, listening to woman on television debating what house she wanted. He nodded off before finding out what house she picked, an arm resting over his belly.

Stiles dreamed of pizza. He was in the pizza parlor, sitting at a lone table in the center of the restaurant. Servers stood around him, each offering him different slices, acting like he was some grand judge on a food competition, insisting he had to try them all before he made his decision. Stiles was reaching for piece after piece, stuffing them into his mouth impossibly fast while his belly started to push out in front of him. Another couples of pizza slices, or maybe entire pizza’s later, his stomach knocked over the table in front of him as it kept growing in size…

He woke up with a start and reached for his phone. He already had the pizza place on speed dial.

“Thank you for calling Charlie’s Pizza. What can I get for you?”

“A medium meat lover’s pizza and an order of wings.”

“Is that it?”

“Ye – ” Another craving hit him. Stiles rubbed his still full belly and added resignedly.  “ – and an order of breadsticks. And garlic bread.”

‘Your total will $21.27. See you in a half-hour.”

***

FEBRUARY

“Look, I get it. I’m getting fat and turning into a pig. You don’t need to bring me my – my daily feed or whatever!”

Derek stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You! I know you’ve been having the pack cook for me! Even Jackson dropped food off. From his personal chef!”

Derek set the bag of carefully packaged food he was holding on the counter. “We figured you were getting sick of takeout.”

“I can cook for myself.”

“You haven’t been cooking.”

“And how do you know that?” Stiles asked angrily. “Busy stalking me but couldn’t be bothered to actually say ‘Hi, Stiles, want to do something?’ Or do you just get a laugh watching me do nothing all day but eat alone?”

“I can tell by the trashcan overflowing with take-out containers, Stiles. Don’t blame me for this. I’ve been texting you. Scott has been texting you. You’ve ignored everyone.”

 Stiles shoulders sagged in defeat. “I know. I’m sorry. I thought I could handle this.”

Derek pulled the younger man against him, burying his face in the Stiles’ neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, Big Guy.” He wrapped his arms tighter around Derek. “I do appreciate the food.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be eating only junk-food.”

“Yes, Dad,” Stiles said playfully. “I make sure I’m eating vegetables.”

“Fried vegetables don’t count.”

“They sort of count.”

Derek growled. Stiles stayed still for a few more minutes, content to just be in Derek’s reassuring embrace for a while longer.

“Hey, Der. What if – what it I don’t really mind this?”

There was no answer for a few seconds. Derek merely stiffened, then pulled pack enough to press a gentle kiss to Stiles’ lips. “It’s okay.”

“And I don’t mind getting to eat so much.”

“Okay.”

“And maybe I like being this heavy.”

“Okay.”

Stiles swatted him on the arm. “Forget how to use words again?”

“Ever think I don’t mind either?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Thank god.” Stiles squirmed out of Derek’s grip and started pulling Tupperware containers out of the bag. “Because I’m starving.”

“Wasting away.” Derek agreed.

Stiles response was lost behind the food he had already started shoveling in his mouth. “This is amazing. Have I ever said that you’re my favorite person?”

“Hmm. Nope. Never came up. Good thing we aren’t dating, or anything.”

“Ass. But I forgive you for making this amazing food.”

“They’re my mother’s recipes. I don’t know if I got them quite right, but I thought you might want something new.”

“Any free food is good food. My entire paycheck has been going to food and new jeans.”

“You know I can pay – ”

“ I am not being the sugar baby in this relationship.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me,” Stiles grinned. He tossed the empty container into the sink and grabbed a second one. “Sorry, I’d offer you some but –” Stiles gestured to his protruding middle. There was a clear few inches of pale skin sticking out from under his shirt. Time to size up. Again. “Unless you want to hear this complaining all night, I need all the food I can get.”

The food Derek had brought was sufficient enough to keep Stiles’ stomach from growling through the night. In the early hours of the morning, before Stiles was even awake, his stomach started rumbling. Derek left him a stack of pancakes and bacon. Next to the plate was a credit card with a scribbled note: Use it. Please.

***

MARCH (Sorry for Derek and Stiles both being a little bad about respecting each other’s privacy in this section. Not that either of them mind…)

Derek never had a very interesting browser history. He had left it open on his computer, which was just unfairly asking for someone to take a quick peek. Stiles felt mildly guilty about it, comforted only by telling himself Derek eavesdropped on most his conversations and always pointed out when he was lying. Granted, Derek couldn’t exactly lose his werewolf abilities, but still, boundaries. Stiles considered it even.

The browser history had, unsurprisingly, nothing interesting.  A few recipes, a couple of monster lore searches, a least once a week a visit to his credit card statement… That seemed unusual. Derek didn’t even have that card on him; it was the one he had left for Stiles (which he had reluctantly agreed to use after a few arguments. Stiles wasn’t a starving artist per say, but nor was he independently wealthy).

Now it seemed like an even trade off. His boyfriend pays for his food and then – Stiles grinned. Really, it was a miracle Derek hadn’t gotten possessed by the Lust demon. There must be a level of hell reserved for getting off this many times to their boyfriend, without telling them….

Stiles was still sitting in front of the computer when Derek came back to the loft. “So, worried I’m spending too much money, or just very interested in how much I’ve been eating?”

Derek turned so red Stiles was concerned he had forgot how to breath for a few moments. “I can explain.”

“That you’ve been getting off to how much food I’ve ordered? That’s pretty kinky, Derek.” He lifted up the hem of his shirt, letting his belly wobble out. It took up a considerable amount of space in his lap now. “I’d say you like thinking about how fat I’m getting.”

“Jesus, Stiles, I can’t pay my bills without being turned on. Do you know how many times you’ve ordered food in the past month?

Stiles grinned wider. “Just think that isn’t all I’ve eaten. I’ve been putting groceries on my card, and Lydia dropped off some pies and Mrs. McCall made the best mac&cheese casseroles for me….”

“I know,” Derek groaned. “Look at this, Stiles.” He knelt in front of Stiles, lifting his belly up, struggling to undo the button of his jeans, before letting it thud back into his lap jiggling. “You haven’t – stopped – eating.”

“Can’t help it. A glutton has to eat. ‘M getting so fat, Derek.”  “Can’t believe how much food you order in a day. How much does it take to fill this belly now, Stiles? 

“Why don’t - ah” Stiles moaned, leaning further back in his chair as Derek started mouthing at Stiles’ sensitive underbelly. “Why don’t you order some food and I’ll show you.”