#mr-daddy-parable

[fandomtrumpshate]

FTH 2024 Unlisted Fandom Challenge!

All right, there was a peek at the leaderboard in yesterday's numbers post. Today we're giving you the whole thing. The list below contains all 84 write-in fandoms. The majority of them have only one offer —so far. One more signup for them will jump them onto the leaderboard. Two more signups will put them in a tie for second place. Any fandom that gets an additional 4 signups will challenge for the lead ...

And we've had fandoms in years past that went from not on the list at all, to nearly the top of the leaderboard in the time between numbers updates. Will that be your fandom this year?

Signups are OPEN!

One quick request - when writing in your fandoms, please avoid using the ' | ' character. It gives google sheets (and your mods) a headache.

And now, on to the numbers! At not quite 48 hours of signups, this is the complete list of write-in fandoms -

5 YuYu Hakusho 3 Ace Attorney 3 Bungou Stray Dogs 3 Dragon Ball 3 For All Mankind 3 Realm of the Elderlings - Robin Hobb 3 The Goblin Emperor Series - Katherine Addison 2 Ancient Greece Religion and Lore 2 Buffyverse 2 Detective Conan 2 Dune 2 Guardian/Zhen Hun 2 HBO War 2 Imperial Radch Series 2 Tortall 1 Among Us 1 BBC Ghosts 1 Blue Beetle 1 Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher Entertainment RPF 1 Cherry Magic 1 Chronicles of Narnia 1 Cobra Kai 1 Criminal Minds 1 Danny Phantom 1 Death Note 1 Dice Punks (podcast) 1 Digimon 1 Donten ni Warau / Laughing Under the Clouds 1 Dungeons and Daddies (podcast) 1 Endeavour/Morseverse/Inspector Morse (ITV/Dexter) 1 Falsettos 1 Farscape 1 Fire Emblem (4-10, 13, 14, 16) 1 Five Nights at Freddy's 1 Formula 1 RPF 1 Glee 1 Grantchester 1 Greek Mythology 1 Grey's Anatomy 1 Gundam 1 Hawaii 5.0 1 Honkai Star Rail 1 Jeff Satur - music videos 1 Law and Order 1 Legend of the Galactic Heroes 1 London Spy 1 Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic 1 Magnificent Seven 1 Mob Psycho 100 1 Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury 1 Mrs. Davis 1 My Little Pony 1 Narcos (TV) 1 Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint 1 Omori 1 Orphan Black 1 Pacific Rim 1 Professional Wrestling - New Japan Pro Wrestling 1 Professional Wrestling: All Elite Wrestling 1 Re-Animator 1 Riverdale 1 Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab 1 Simon Snow Series 1 Slam Dunk 1 Slow Horses (TV Show) 1 Super Sentai 1 Sweeney Todd 1 Ted Lasso 1 The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension 1 The Adventures of Tintin 1 The Bear (TV) 1 The Empyrean Series - Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing) 1 The Good Place 1 The Last Kingdom 1 The Lunar Chronicles 1 The Mummy (1999 franchise) 1 The Pairing (Casey McQuiston) 1 The Radiant Emperor Series 1 The Saint of Steel 1 The Stanley Parable 1 Voltron: Legendary Defender 1 Wayfarers (Becky Chambers) 1 Wolf Pack 1 Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

[kakusu-shipping]

Agere List

To me Carer/Regressor dynamics are different than your typical Romantic/Platonic/Familial type of realationships, so I've decided to make a separate list for F/Os who are my Caregivers, or who I Caregive for.

This is very different from a headcanon list of characters who I think are Caregivers/Regressors, this is characters I personally have this relationship with. I am also only a Caregiver in a Fictional space, and cannot CG a real regressor in the real world.

Thankyou for your attention, list below the cut.

Caregivers

Alder - Pokemon BW - Grandpa

Darmanitan - Pokemon BW - Babysitter

Whimsicott - Pokemon BW - Babysitter

Maractus - Pokemon BW - Big Sister

Molayne - Pokemon SuMo - Big Brother

Hassel - Pokemon SV - Daddy

Salvatore - Pokemon SV - Trainer

Stoutland - Pokemon BW2 - Companion

Chesnaught - Pokemon XY - Knight

Bloodmoon Ursaluna - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Mommy/Yandere

Beware - Pokemon Anime - Mommy

Doctor Mario - Super Mario Series - Doctor/Yandere

Craig Cuttlefish + Octavio - Splatoon - Grandpas

Callie + Marie - Splatoon - Big Sisters

Agent 7 (Eight) - Splatoon OC - Babysitter

C.Q. Cumber - Splatoon 2 - Boss/Yandere

Mr. Grizz - Splatoon 3 - Boss/Papa

Papyrus - Undertale - Babysitter

Chara - Undertale - Chaotic/Babysitter

Swatchlings - Deltarune - Butlers

Gaster - Deltarune - Father/Eldritch

Enderman - Minecraft - Companion

Winston - Overwatch - Teacher

Moira O'Deorain - Overwatch - Doctor/Babysitter

Siebren de Kuiper (Sigma) - Overwatch - Grandpa

Sombra - Overwatch - Big Sister

Maugaloa Malosi - Overwatch - Chaotic/Big Brother

Teruteru Hanamura - Danganronpa 2 - Babysitter

Genocide Syo/Jack/Jill - Danganronpa UDG - Chaotic/Yandere

Shirokuma - Danganronpa UDG - Daddy/Yandere

Toy Freddy - Five Nights at Freddy's - Big Brother

Nightmare Fredbear - Five nights at Freddy's - Guardian

Huggy Wuggy - Poppy Playtime - Babysitter

Mommy Long Legs - Poppy Playtime - Mommy

Wally Darling - Welcome Home - Yandere/Neighbor

The Doctor - Little Nightmares - Doctor

Morgo - Little Misfortune - Eldritch/Yandere

Anna (The Huntress) - Dead by Daylight - Mommy/Yandere

Chzo - Chzo Mythos - Eldritch/Father

Kyle + Brett - Drive Time Radio - Chaotic/Eldritch

The Narrator - Stanley Parable - Eldritch/Guardian

Micheal Bleak - Wayward Children - Guardian (former)

Jill Wolcott - Wayward Children - Guardian

Aziraphale - Good Omens - Guardian/Knight

Crowley - Good Omens - Chaotic/Guardian

Edgar + Alan + Poe - Ruby Gloom - Babysitters

Scardy Bat - Ruby Gloom - Big Brother

Beetlejuice - Beetlejuice the Animated Series - Chaotic/Papa

Mashirao Ojiro - My Hero Academia - Babysitter

Mei Hatsume - My Hero Academia - Chaotic/Big Sister

Pantherlily - Fairy Tail - Knight/Papa

Shiro Ashiya (Aciel) - The Devil is a Part-Timer - Stern/Papa

Watanuki + Domeki - xxxHolic - Daddies

Chieko - Princess Jellyfish - Mother

Mayaya - Princess Jellyfish - Chaotic/Big Sister

Muta - The Cat Returns - Companion

Baron Humbert Gon Gikkingen - The Cat Returns - Royal/Babysitter

The Beldam - Coraline - Yandere/Mother

Anger - Inside Out - Protective/Dada

Sadness - Inside Out - Mama

The Storyteller - OC - Eldritch/Guardian

Regressors

Cyrus - Pokemon Platinum - Permaregressed

Arven - Pokemon SV - Kid

Giacomo - Pokemon SV - Involuntary/Toddler

Saguaro - Pokemon SV - Dreamer/Baby

Hydreigon - Pokemon BW2 - Trauma/New Born/Baby

Smeargle - Monster Mind - Dreamer/Puppy

Princess Peach - Super Mario Series - Baby/Princess

Genji Shimada - Overwatch - Dreamer/Kid

Mako Rutledge (Roadhog) - Overwatch - Trauma/Baby

Toko Fukawa - Danganronpa 1 - Involuntary/Baby

Celestia Ludenburg - Danganronpa 1 - Dreamer/Gothic/Kid

Kyle Klim (K) - Virtue's Last Reward - Kid

Kazuaki Nanaki - Hatoful Boyfriend - Dreamer/Baby

Hitori Uzune - Hatoful Boyfriend - Trauma/Involuntary/Toddler

The Little King - Hatoful Boyfriend - Baby/Toddler/Prince

P03 - Inscryption - Involuntary/Bratty/Baby

Lapis Lazuli - Steven Universe - Trauma/Ageless

Nezu - My Hero Academia - Trauma/Involuntary

Tomura Shigiraki - My Hero Academia - Newborn/Baby

Dabi - My Hero Academia - Involuntary/Bratty/Kid

Himiko Toga - My Hero Academia - Dreamer/Toddler

Jin Bubaigawa (Twice) - My Hero Academia - Trauma/Toddler/Kid

Erza Scarlet - Fairy Tail - Involuntary/Big Sister

Juvia Lockser - Fairy Tail - Permaregressed/Toddler/Kid

Gajeel Redfox - Fairy Tail - Involuntary/Big Brother

Toma E. Fiore - Fairy Tail - Involuntary/Prince

Tamaki Souh - Ouran Highschool Host Club - Involuntary/Prince

Takashi Morinozuka - Ouran Highschool Host Club - Baby

Makoto Katai - Komi Can't Communicate - Baby

Embarrassment - Inside Out - Baby/Toddler

Micheal Myers - Halloween - Permaregressed/Evil/Kid

Jason Voorhees - Friday the 13th - Trauma/Baby

Brahms Heelshire - The Boy - Permaregressed/Toddler/Kid

Beetlejuice - Beetlejuice the Musical - Spooky/Horror/Baby

Playmates

N - Pokemon BW - Permaregressed/Baby/Toddler

Jacq - Pokemon SV - Dreamer/Big Brother

Miriam - Pokemon SV - Dreamer/Nurse

Kieran - Pokemon SV - Evil/Pokemon

Gooigi - Super Mario Series - Big Sister

Kirby - Kirby series - Toddler/Big Brother

Flowey - Undertale - Trauma/Big Brother

Vulkin - Undertale - Pet

Ralsei - Deltarune - Prince/Big Brother

Viktor Humphries - Slime Rancher - Kid

Pheonix Wright - Ace Attorney - Involuntary/Teen

Monokuma - Danganronpa - Dreamer/Object

Kazuichi Soda - Danganronpa 2 - Involuntary/Toddler

Moon - FNaF Help Wanted 2 - Baby/Toddler (former)

Kissy Missy - Poppy Playtime - Trauma/Kid

Boxy Boo - Poppy Playtime - Permaregressed/Object

CatNap - Poppy Playtime - Trauma/Cat

Grendan Highforge - Drawtectives - Dreamer/Old Dog

Rosé - Drawtectives - Pre-Teen

York - Drawtectives - Dreamer/Little Brother

Muriel - Good Omens - New Born/Ageless

Frank + Len - Ruby Gloom - Teen/Toddler

Katsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia - Toddler/Little Brother

Banba - Princess Jellyfish - Hyperfixation/Kid

Joy - Inside Out - Bratty/Big Sister/Kid

Fear - Inside Out - Protective/Big Brother

[90363462]

The History of Kendrick Lamar and Whitney Alford, As Told By His Lyrics

By Matthew RitchieMay 17, 2022

Getty Images

Kendrick Lamar has never been shy about revealing details about his life: DAMN’s“Duckworth” and good kid, M.A.A.D. City’s“m.A.A.d. city” are just two of many moments where he’s gone deep into his personal history on record. And on new album Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers, the Compton superstar gets more vulnerable than ever before, revealing his personal journeys through therapy (“United in Grief”), fatherhood, daddy issues (“Father Time”) and his battles with generational trauma and sexual violence (“Mother I Sober.”)

But he speaks most candidly about his relationship with his longtime partner Whitney Alford. They’re childhood sweethearts who got engaged in 2015 and now have two children together—she’s been a constant in his life throughout his whole career. (She even sang background vocals on To Pimp a Butterfly, lending her voice to both “King Kunta” and “Wesley’s Theory.”) She’s everywhere and everything on this album, including the cover image, narrating on four tracks including “Mother I Sober” and “Father Time,” and telling Kendrick that he needs therapy on the latter. According to Lamar himself, she’s more than just his lover: she’s a grounding figure for him in times of stress and crisis. Kendrick raps more about Whitney on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppersthan ever before, but it’s by no means the first time he’s alluded to her in his music. What follows is a breakdown of her previous appearances in his lyrics.

“She Needs Me” from the 2009 mixtapeKendrick Lamar EP. The first love song Kendrick ever wrote is a parable about a flawless woman who is comparable to nobody else in the world. It’s classic and simple, mentioning his parents’ unabashed approval and her unyielding confidence in the way she carries herself. At the beginning, he insists that she needs him to be happy. By the end of the two minutes, he comes to the realization he, in fact, cannot live without her. Armed with a mountain of evidence of how she completes him, he can’t even imagine wanting to.

The timeline of Kendrick and Whitney’s relationship matches up with the track: Kendrick and Whitney were high school sweethearts who graduated in 2005. “Five years later, an accounting major, work at a firm/Abundance of paper, she got a career,” he raps at the beginning of the second verse–after high school, Alford attended California State University, Long Beach, and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in accounting. While the rest of the track looks more to the future, it’s apparent that Kendrick had Whitney in mind from the outset.

“Determined,” a bonus track from the 2009 mixtape Kendrick Lamar EP. While Kendrick had striven to keep his and Whitney’s relationship shielded from the public eye, that has not stopped him from citing her as an influential figure in his rap career. In a 2014 interview with the New York Times, he called her the one person with the power to call him out on anything, whether in life or his career. “One particular young lady. She’s been here since Day 1,” Lamar explained.

On the bonus track, he gives a first-hand account of how “his girl” helped him stay the course during moments where his confidence failed him. As he shares his insecurities with her over a bucket of KFC, she shuts his doubts down immediately: “You know you the best boy, you gotta keep doing it/But don't forget when you do, just keep you in it/And never listen to what the industry say/Don't be a typical artist, be more like Jay.” By Kendrick’s own confession here, without her he wouldn’t be the man or rapper he is today.

“Growing Apart (To Get Closer)” from the 2010 mixtape Overly Dedicated. Kendrick gets surprisingly personal on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, even going as far as to call out his “lust addiction” on the track “Worldwide Steppers” and talking about how his infidelity put pressure on his relationship. He alluded to similar transgressions in the opener from Overly Dedicated, rapping with melancholic honesty about the strain he’s putting on his girlfriend: “Meanwhile I’m in these streets with everybody, I’m trying to get it/And she know they got me, I watch her feelings watch me/As they staring with the saddest eyes of loneliness,” he raps.

“Buried Alive Interlude” from Drake’s 2011 album Take Care. This appearance could be considered the moment when Kendrick began the shift from underground darling to star. Money and success can do crazy things to your perspective, and here, Kendrick doubts his relationship. “The reason why my best friend say she loves me more than life/But I live a double life and need to let her go,” he raps, believing that he must cut her loose as the pressures of fame and wealth begin to materialize.

Billboard and The Breakfast Club in 2015 In a 2015 cover story with Billboard, Kendrick said his connection with Whitney transcends the need for a label. “I wouldn’t even call her my girl,” he says. “That’s my best friend. I don’t even like the term that society has put in the world as far as being a companion — she’s somebody I can tell my fears to.” Months later, following their engagement announcement, he doubled down on the devotion in an interview with The Breakfast Club, echoing the need to be loyal to the woman that’s held him down from the beginning.

“LOVE.” from the 2017 album DAMN.Kendrick and Whitney confirmed their engagement in April 2015, following the release of To Pimp a Butterfly, and this track sounds like the result of years of maturing and working on a relationship. “Keep it a hundred, I’d rather you trust me than to love me/Keep it a whole one hund', don't got you, I got nothin',” he croons on the ballad, realizing the sentiment that he expressed back in 2009 remains true eight years later.

Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. This is Whitney’s coming out party, as suggested by the album cover, which features her sitting on the bed opposite him, holding the couple’s second child. The family that they’ve built is at the center of the album. Her presence looms large on the four tracks she features on (and even elsewhere), narrating as a guiding force towards the self-actualization Kendrick hopes to achieve. On the opening track “United in Grief,” she urges him to be honest as he embarks on his most personal project to date. “Tell them, tell 'em, tell them the truth,” she demands. The last time we hear her voice is on “Mother I Sober,” the emotional climax for Kendrick, closing out the trauma-laden opus. “You did it, I'm proud of you/You broke a generational curse,” she says calmly.

[catboy-showdown]

Catboy competitiors complete list (updated)

Adrien/Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug (5)

Virgil Sanders from Sanders Sides (5)

Catra from She-Ra (4)

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale (3)

Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4 (2)

Odd Dells Robbia from Code Lyoko (2)

Noise from Roleslaying with Roman (2)

Logan Sanders from Sanders Sides (2)

Hunter Wittebane from The Owl House (2)

Luz Noceda from The Owl House (2)

The Baron from The Cat Returns (2)

The Rum Rum Tugger from Cats the Musical (2)

Sunny from Omori (2)

Magolor from Kirby (2)

Tybalt Capulet from Romeo and Juliet (2)

Joe secondopinionson from Moral Orel (1)

Satan from Obey Me Shall We Date (1)

Ritsuka from Loveless (1)

Firestar from Warriors (1)

Hello Kitty from Hello Kitty (1)

Albert Vanderboom from The Rusty Lake Games (1)

Rui Kamishiro from Project Sekai (1)

Gin Ibushi from Your Turn to Die (1)

G’raha Tia from Final Fantasy XIV (1)

Sage Lesath from Last Legacy (1)

Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji (1)

Kenma Kozume from Haikyuu (1)

Miya Chinen from Sk8 the Infinity (1)

Saturn from Pokémon (1)

Old Hob from IDW TMNT comics (1)

The Wanderer from Genshin Impact (1)

Che’nya from Twisted Wonderland (1)

T’Challa from Black Panther (1)

Tsukiyomi Ikuto from Shugo Chara (1)

Yoru from Shugo Chara (1)

Lady Noire from Miraculous Ladybug (1)

Jon Sims from The Magnus Archives (1)

Ichigo Momomiya from Mew Ichigo (1)

Chu Wanning from The Husky and his White Cat Shizun (1)

Patton Sanders from Sanders Sides (1)

Gundham Tanaka from Danganronpa (1)

Xiaohei from The Legend of Hei (1)

Sun from Spell Bound (1)

Azure Lion from Lego Monkie Kid (1)

Loki from MCU (1)

Yoichi Tanaka from Ao Haru Ride (1)

Inigo the modded Khajiit from Skyrim (1)

Julian Devorak from The Arcana (1)

Garfield from Garfield (1)

Ryan Akagi from Infinity Train (1)

Haru Yoshioka from The Cat Returns (1)

L from Death Note (1)

Sebastian from Stardew Valley (1)

Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats the Musical (1)

Skimbleskanks the Railway Cat from Cats the Musical (1)

Robbie Valentino from Gravity Falls (1)

Marvin the Magnificent from Jacksepticeye (1)

Rocky from Lackadaisy (1)

Burgerpants from Undertale (1)

Miles Morales from Into the Spiderverse (1)

Brett Hand from Inside Job (1)

Stat from Q-Force (1)

Chase McCain from Lego Undercover (1)

Link from Legend of Zelda (1)

Xio from The Sunbearer Trials (1)

Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls (1)

Charlie Spring from Heartstopper (1)

Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club (1)

Carlos the Scientist from Welcome to Night Vale (1)

Donnie from rottmnt (1)

Lucius Spriggs from Our Flag Means Death (1)

Anathema Device from Good Omens (1)

Puss from Puss in Boots (1)

Daniel from Hello Kitty (1)

Kyo from Fruits Basket (1)

Wally Darling from Welcome Home (1)

Lalli Hotakainen from Stand Still Stay Silent (1)

Starflight from Wings of Fire (1)

Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney (1)

Sun from Five Nights at Freddy’s (1)

Nepeta from Homestuck (1)

Jaspersprite from Homestuck (1)

Cat from Miitopia (1)

Nagisa Shingetsu from Danganronpa (1)

Raymond from Animal Crossing (1)

Laurance Zvahl from Minecraft Diaries (1)

Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium (1)

Raine Whispers from The Owl House (1)

Sigma Klim from Zero Escape (1)

Gavin Reed from Detroit Become Human (1)

Cat from Wii Sports (1)

Chip from Just Role With It (1)

Rei Suwa from Buddy Daddies (1)

Player from The Leet World (1)

JP from Craig of the Creek (1)

Kermit the Frog from The Muppets (1)

Ranma Saotome from Ranma (1)

Stanley from The Stanley Parable (1)

Kano from Kagerou Days (1)

Adrian Graye from The Owl House (1)

Christina Posabule from Moral Orel (1)

Legolas from Lord of the Rings (1)

Y’shtola Rhul from Final Fantasy XIV (1)

Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto (1)

Yuni from Mewkledreamy (1)

Gary from SpongeBob (1)

Ishigami from Kaguya Sama Love is War (1)

Kitty Cheshire from Ever After High (1)

Miles Edgeworth from Ace Attorney (1)

Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1)

Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons (1)

Gumball Waterson from The Amazing World of Gumball (1)

Komi from Komi Can’t Communicate (1)

Near from Death Note (1)

The Cat from Coraline (1)

Meta Knight from Kirby (1)

Nico the Catboy from Adventure Time (1)

Randy Jade from Dialtown (1)

Niko from Oneshot (1)

Gumball Cookie from Cookie Run (1)

Hugh from Pokémon (1)

Mabel Martin from Mabel Podcast (1)

Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls (1)

Mao Mao from Mao Mao Heroes of Pure Heart (1)

Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives (1)

Hitoshi from Nyan Neko Sugar Girls (1)

Jay Walker from Ninjago (1)

Sans from Undertale (1)

[rosebudromantic]

F/O LIST & OBJECTUM RELATIONSHIPS

──────────────────────────

ROMANTIC

Cedric the Sorcerer (Sofia the First) 🔮

The Invincible II AI (In Space with Markiplier) 🚀

Narrator (The Stanley Parable) ♾️

Ted (Midnight Burger) 🌎

Artis Corbin (Wayfarers Series) 🧪

Kizzy Shao (Wayfarers Series) 🛠

Hans of the Southern Isles (Frozen the Musical) 🔥

Elsa of Arendelle (Frozen the Musical) ❄️

Liam De Lioncourt (Monster Prom) 📱

Miranda Vanderbilt (Monster Prom) 🌊

Peter Parker aka Spiderman Noir (Into The Spiderverse) 🕷️

Maid Marian (Robin Hood) 🌸

Mr. Boddy (Cluedo) 🃏

CRUSHES

Captain James Hook (Peter Pan) ⛵️

Billy Butcherson (Hocus Pocus) 🧟

Nick Chopper (L. Frank Baum’s Oz) 🪓

Clementine (Midnight Burger) 🍊

Wheeler (The 12:37) 🚂

Joseph Christiansen (Dream Daddy) 💘

William Afton/Springtrap (FNAF) 💜

Sun (FNAF) ☀️

Moon (FNAF) 🌙

Miguel O’Hara (Across The Spiderverse) 💥

Yosef (Midnight Burger) 🫒

Ruth (Midnight Burger OC) 🎨

William Gracey (Haunted Mansion 2023) 👣

Father Kent (Haunted Mansion 2023) 🎃

QUEERPLATONIC

Nikola Orsinov (The Magnus Archives) 🩰

Captain Fyter (L. Frank Baum’s Oz) 🧨

Calculester (Monster Prom) 🤖

Ohan the Solitary (Wayfarers Series) 💫

PLATONIC

Mack (In Space With Markiplier) 💢

June Simmons (Midnight Burger) 💸

Frank Simmons (Midnight Burger) 📞

FAMILIAL

Julia (Sesame Street) 🐰

Bert (Sesame Street) 📎

Ernie (Sesame Street) 🛁

Scooter (The Muppets) 🎬

Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter) 🧹

The Amazing Karnak (Ride the Cyclone) 🔌

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone) 🧸

Marcie (Peanuts) 👓

OBJECTUM RELATIONSHIPS

The Haunted Mansion (Disneyworld) 💀

OBJECTUM CRUSHES

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster (Disneyworld) 🎸

Computers (generally) 🖥️

Blades (generally) 🗡️

Disney’s Toontown 🐭

PLATONIC/FAMILIAL OBJECTUM

Momento Mori (Disneyworld) ♠️

Tarot Cards 🎱

[sunnysynergy]

rex enjoyer. gay. raise your standards.

Oh, so now the Beckham Liker is gonna preach to us

[employee210]

@mr-daddy-parable Felix, it's clear you don't understand that retroactively fixing a problem after you gloat about doing it and an insane amount of artists call you out is not the same as simply fixing a problem when it happens. Then again, you will always defend Esfer regardless of whatever the fuck she does, even if she reposts private art for her shitty vk group without even asking permission. Even if we have to wrench her goddamn arms into actually doing something that would take literally a millisecond of deleting a repost.

If I see missazura's art in Esfer's vk group ever again, then we are going to have serious issues. Have Esfer or yourself make a no-repost blacklist of all the artists who commented in the callout post if it is so difficult to check someone's bio or--God forbid--ask the artist for permission.

I hold you two to a high standard because you are both grown adults capable of basic artist etiquette. I know how easy it is to message artists permission, because I have been notifying artists about their art and links to take down their repost--something that should've been the responsibility of Esfer's group.

I'd say I hope both of you have learned your lesson, but from experience, I doubt that will be the case.

[eternal-echoes]

“A name is not a machine, for a person is not a machine. The name of a person must be personally "involved" (that is, called upon) in faith and hope and love, as a human father is "invoked" by his son in Jesus' parable in Matthew 7. But though it is not a machine, it really "works": when a son calls to his father, "Dad!" the father actually comes. Why? Suppose we were to ask the father. His answer would be obvious: "Because that's my son!" The same is true of our relationship to God now that Christ has made us God's children and His brothers. No stranger can call a human being "Dad", and no stranger can be sure that a man will come if he calls him only by his "proper name", for example, "Mr. Smith". But Mr. Smith's son can be sure his dad will come because his son can invoke him under the name "Dad", as no one else can. Jesus has made it possible for us to do the same with God. In fact, the name He taught us to call God is "Abba", which is the Hebrew word, not just for "Father", but for "Dad", or "Daddy", or even "Dada". It is the word of ultimate intimacy.

... you may think, "What right do we have to think He will come whenever we    call? Is He a dog?" No, He is a lover.”

- Peter Kreeft

[fandomtrumpshate]

Unlisted Fandom Challenge

Two days ago, at our last Unlisted Fandom Challenge update, we had a 3-way tie for first. Today? One of those fandoms has taken the lead AND a new fandom that hadn't had even a single signup before has jumped all the way into a 4-way tie for second. Your fandom could do the same, in the hours still left before signups close!

At present, our leaderboard looks like this:

7 Danny Phantom

5 Carmen Sandiego (2019) 5 For All Mankind 5 Tortall 5 Yu Yu Hakusho

4 Ace Attorney 4 Alan Wake/Remedyverse 4 Formula 1 RPF 4 Ted Lasso 4 The Goblin Emperor Series - Katherine Addison 4 The Stanley Parable

3 Greek Mythology/Religion 3 Buffyverse 3 Bungo Stray Dogs 3 Call of Duty 3 Detective Conan 3 Dragon Ball 3 HBO War 3 Kingdom Hearts 3 Persona Series: 3-5 3 Professional Wrestling 3 Realm of the Elderlings - Robin Hobb 3 Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab 3 The Mummy films 1999-2008 3 Undertale

Given the way Carmen Sandiego came from *nowhere* to tie for 2nd place, a single signup really can shake things up! And for the next few hours, signups are STILL OPEN! Do the thing!

The rest of our unlisted write-in fandoms under the cut for length -

2 Ghosts (TV) 2 Black Sails 2 Cosmere 2 CSI 2 Cyberpunk 2077 2 Dead Friend Forever 2 Death Stranding 2 Dice Punks (podcast) 2 Dimension 20 2 Donten ni Warau / Laughing Under the Clouds 2 Dracula 2 Dune 2 Firefly 2 Glee 2 Guardian/Zhen Hun 2 Hermitcraft/The Life Series SMP 2 Imperial Radch Series 2 Inception 2 JoJo's Bizarre Adventure 2 Mob Psycho 100 2 Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury 2 Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint 2 Ordem Paranormal Quarentena 2 QSMP / Quackity SMP 2 Riverdale 2 Saw 2 Slow Horses (TV Show) 2 South Park 2 Stormlight Archive 2 The Bear (TV) 2 The Empyrean - Rebecca Yarros 2 The Folk of the Air (Holly Black) 2 The Radiant Emperor Series 2 Venture Bros 2 Voltron 2 Wolf Pack 1 1670 1 A Court of Fey & Flowers 1 a league of their own (TV series) 1 A Plague Tale (Videogame Series) 1 American Gods 1 Among Us 1 Bandom RPF (Bad Omens) 1 Bandom RPF (Lorna Shore) 1 Bandom RPF (Motionless In White) 1 Beastars 1 Bendy (and The Ink Machine/Dark Revival) 1 Horror 1 Bioshock 1&2 1 Blue Beetle 1 Blue Eye Samurai 1 Books of the Raksura 1 Boondock Saints 1 Breakfast With Scot 1 Bunny - Mona Awad 1 Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher Entertainment RPF 1 Cabin Pressure 1 Cats the musical 1 Charlie's Angels (2019) 1 Cherry Magic 1 Chronicles of Narnia 1 Cobra Kai 1 Coffee Talk (Video Game) 1 Criminal Minds 1 Death Note 1 Devil May Cry 1 Dexter 1 Digimon 1 Discworld - Terry Pratchett 1 Disney Theatrical Animated Universe 1 Divergent 1 DMBJ (Grave Robber's Chronicles) - Xu Lei 1 Dream SMP 1 Dungeons and Daddies (podcast) 1 Endeavour/Morseverse/Inspector Morse (ITV/Dexter) 1 Ensemble Stars!! 1 Fallout Video Game (Bethesda) 1 Falsettos 1 Fargo FX 1 Farscape 1 Fire Emblem (4-10, 13, 14, 16) 1 Five Nights at Freddy's 1 Friends at the Table 1 Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid 1 Grantchester 1 Green Creek 1 Grey's Anatomy 1 Grimm 1 Gundam (see below for details) 1 Hatchetfield 1 Hawaii 5.0 1 Hello From The Hallowoods 1 High School Musical 1 Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 1 Hollow Knight 1 Honkai Star Rail 1 Horizon Zero Dawn 1 Infinity Train 1 IT (Movies - Muschietti) 1 Jeff Satur - music videos 1 Julie and the Phantoms 1 Kushiel's Legacy 1 Law and Order 1 Legend of the Galactic Heroes 1 Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard 4) 1 London Spy 1 Lovecraft Mythos 1 Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic 1 Magnificent Seven 1 Mary Grant Bruce's Billabong series 1 Mrs. Davis 1 My Little Pony 1 Nancy Drew (CW Series) 1 Narcos (TV) 1 Nine Worlds Series - Victoria Goddard 1 NU: Carnival 1 Omori 1 One Direction 1 Orphan Black 1 Outlast 1 Paranatural 1 Phantomarine 1 Re-Animator 1 Resident Evil/Biohazard 1 Sex Education (TV) 1 She-Ra and the Princesses of Power 1 Simon Snow Series 1 Skins (UK) 1 Slam Dunk 1 Starry Musical 1 Succession 1 Sunless Sea 1 Super Sentai 1 Sweeney Todd 1 Team Starkid 1 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 The Adventure Zone: Balance 1 The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension 1 The Adventures of Tintin 1 The Artful Dodger 1 The Good Place 1 The Greenhollow Series - Emily Tesh 1 The Hollows - Kim Harrison 1 The Last Kingdom 1 The Left-Handed Booksellers of London - Garth Nix 1 The Lunar Chronicles 1 The Mechanisms 1 The Pairing (Casey McQuiston) 1 The Saint of Steel 1 The Shadow Campaigns - Django Wexler 1 The Terror (TV 2018) 1 Three of Hearts 1 Tin Can Bros 1 Tower of God 1 True Detective 1 Twilight 1 Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold 1 Wayfarers (Becky Chambers) 1 Weak Hero Class 1 1 Westworld (TV) 1 Yellowjackets 1 Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

[ao3feed-mythology]

All Together™

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

by mellloyelllo

die

Words: 10, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Orange is the New Black, Steven Universe (Cartoon), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), Shark Tale (2004), Sharknado (Movies), Jaws (Movies), XXXTentacion (Musician) RPF, OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes, Undertale (Video Game), Deltarune (Video Game), Roblox (Video Game), Family Guy (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, The Cleveland Show, Garfield - All Media Types, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC Universe Online, Victorious (TV), iCarly, Minecraft (Video Game), But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Russian Doll (TV 2019), My Singing Monsters, Revolver - The Beatles, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fairy Tail, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), M&M's Commercials, Homestuck, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Donkey Kong (Video Games), Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), Santa Clarita Diet (TV), Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, 私がモテないのはどう考えてもお前らが悪い! | Watamote - No Matter How I Look At It It's You Guys' Fault I'm Unpopular!, Free!, American Horror Story, Ирония судьбы | The Irony of Fate (Movies), John Wick (Movies), Fortnite (Video Game), Overwatch (Video Game), Salad Fingers, Wonder Woman (2017), अलीबाबा और चलीस चोर | Alibaba Aur 40 Chor | Adventures of Ali-Baba and the Forty Thieves (1979), Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis, Political RPF - US 21st c., Maroon 5, Twenty One Pilots, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, Everyman HYBRID, Everybody Else (Band), Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng, Arctic Monkeys, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, Game of Thrones (TV), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Teen Titans Go!, Regular Show, Clarence (Cartoon), Flaming Carrot Comics, Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain | Amélie (2001), Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë, Jane the Virgin (TV), H2O: Just Add Water, Shrek (Movies), Fish Hooks (TV), Shark Tank (TV 2009), Of Mice & Men (Band), Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck, Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series), The Stanley Parable, Hitler: The Rise of Evil (TV 2003), Fran Bow (Video Game), Hamilton - Miranda, Johnny Test (Cartoon), A Separate Peace - John Knowles, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Office (US), Five Nights at Freddy's, Phineas and Ferb, Moshi Monsters (Video Game), Neopets, K-pop, Poptropica (Video Game), Baby-Sitters Little Sister - Ann M. Martin, Super Planet Dolan (Web Series), Slazo, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), We Bare Bears (TV), Adventure Time, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mighty Magiswords (Cartoon), Hey Arnold!, Rugrats & All Grown Up! (Cartoons), CatDog (Cartoon), Harvey Beaks (Cartoon), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunter X Hunter, Camp Camp (Web Series), Fairly OddParents, Camila Cabello (Musician), Anne with an E (TV), G.I. Joe - All Media Types, 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Eminem (Musician), Club Penguin, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works, Captain America (Movies), American Dad!, Country Music RPF, Tiger Cruise (2004), Karate Kid (Movies), Lilo & Stitch (2002), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom - A. C. Crispin, The Princess and the Frog (2009), The Aristocats (1970), The Muppet Show, The Muppets - All Media Types, Sesame Street (TV), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney, Dork Diaries Series - Rachel Renee Russell, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Apple "Get a Mac" Commercials, McDonalds "NHL Mini-Sticks" Commercials, Talking Tom and Friends (Cartoon), Nintendogs, Melanie Martinez (Musician), Little Witch Academia, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Cowboy Bebop (Anime), Gravity Falls, Halloween Movies - All Media Types, The Nun (2018), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), How to Get Away with Murder, School of Rock (2003), The Cheetah Girls (Movies), Good Luck Charlie, Ant-Man (Movies), A.N.T. Farm, Codename: Kids Next Door, Powerpuff Girls, Mr. Pickles (Cartoon), Peanuts, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Fallout (Video Games), Weather Girl (2009), Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Burger King "The Burger King" Commercials, My Babysitter's A Vampire, The Amazing World of Gumball, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Minions (2015), Despicable Me (Movies), Because of Winn-Dixie - All Media Types, South Park, Sanjay and Craig (Cartoon), Breadwinners (Cartoon), Robot and Monster, Fanboy & Chum Chum (Cartoon), Monsters vs Aliens (2009), Original Work, Mary Poppins - P. L. Travers, Godspell - Schwartz, Het Achterhuis | The Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank, Ed Edd n Eddy, Eddsworld - All Media Types, Ed Sheeran (Musician), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Furry (Fandom), Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Movie (2014), Lego - All Media Types, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, True Jackson: VP, Pinky and the Brain, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Multi-Fandom, Dance Moms RPF, Life Is Strange (Video Game), Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3, Portal (Video Game), Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical - geekenders, Ariana Grande (Musician), Justin Bieber (Musician), Bebe Rexha (Musician), Taylor Swift (Musician), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Liv and Maddie, Crash Bandicoot (Video Games), Shake It Up! (US TV), G-Force: Guardians of Space, G-Force (2009), Ancient History RPF, Ancient Egyptian Religion, Little House on the Prairie (TV), The Prince of Egypt (1998), Mulan (1998), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain, Number the Stars - Lois Lowry, The Giver Series - Lois Lowry, Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes, SuperLuv - Shane Dawson (Song), Kirby - All Media Types, Chick-fil-A "Eat Mor Chikin" Commercials, Cow and Chicken (TV), Block B, Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types, Groundhog Day (1993), Christian Bible, Islamic Lore, Jewish Scripture & Legend, The Epic of Gilgamesh, תורה | Torah, Hindu Religions & Lore, Orphan Black (TV), Black Panther (2018), Mad Men, Goosebumps - All Media Types, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pretty Little Liars, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Scooby Doo - All Media Types, Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs, Pillsbury Company "Pillsbury Doughboy" Commercials, Nickelback (Band), Rocko's Modern Life, All That (TV 1994), The Color Purple - Alice Walker

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Oscar (Shark Tale), Brook Soso, Alex Vause, Piper Chapman, Megan Bloomfield, Graham Eaton, Lenny the Chocolate Moose, George Milton, Lennie Small, Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello, Lemony Snicket, Alexandrite (Steven Universe), Dominga "Daddy" Duarte, Artesian McCullough, Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Zircon (Steven Universe), Jade West, Joel Luschek, Noelle Holiday, Slim (Of Mice and Men), Slime (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft), Enderman (Minecraft), Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Violet Baudelaire, Klaus Baudelaire, Sunny Baudelaire, Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Janae Watson, Sister Jane Ingalls, Sophia Burset, Baz (Sharknado), Robin Hood (Once Upon a Time), Starfire, Cyborg (Character), The Beast (Over the Garden Wall), Stanley (Disney: Beauty and the Beast), John Bennett (Orange is the New Black), John Doe (Roblox), John Wick, Ruby (Steven Universe), Jane Doe, Justin Hammer, Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Peridot (Steven Universe), The Narrator (The Stanley Parable), Shrek (Shrek), Annoying Dog (Undertale), Ben Shapiro, Desert Glass (Steven Universe), GLaDOS, Winnie (Free!), Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap, Watanabe You, Franny Morello, Thanos (Marvel), Spider (Minecraft), May Parker (Spider-Man), Courage (Courage the Cowardly Dog), Peter Parker, Lois Griffin, Michael Scott, Freddy Fazbear, Nevel Papperman

Relationships: Piper Chapman/Alex Vause, Nicky Nichols/Alex Vause, Parker (Leverage)/Alex Vause, Megan Bloomfield/Graham Eaton, Barry Benson/Oscar (Shark Tale), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale) & Peridot (Steven Universe), Olivia Caliban/Jacquelyn Scieszka, Blue Diamond/Greg Universe, Sans (Undertale)/Shrek (Shrek), Papyrus (Undertale) & Sonic the Hedgehog, Noelle Holiday/Susie (Deltarune), George Milton & Lennie Small, Artesian McCullough/Maritza Ramos, Alex Vause/Reader, W. D. Gaster/Sans/Reader, Ned (Pushing Daisies)/Harry Potter, Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Harry Potter, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Garnet/Jasper (Steven Universe), Alice (Alice in Wonderland)/Christopher Robin (Winnie-the-Pooh), Frank Castle/John Wick, Joel Luschek/Nicky Nichols, Alexandrite/Malachite (Steven Universe), Freddie Benson/Carly Shay, Star Butterfly & Steven Universe, Count Olaf/Esmé Squalor, Galina "Red" Reznikov/Gloria Mendoza, Enid (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes)/Pearl (Steven Universe), Enid/Red Action (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes), Carol Denning/Reader, Sans/Sans (Undertale), Chara/Frisk (Undertale), Tony Stark/Thanos, Peter Griffin/Johnny Test, Courage/Katz, Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester, Blue Diamond (Steven Universe)/Eugene Krabs, Gene Forrester/Phineas "Finny", Creeper (Minecraft)/Sans (Undertale), Creeper/Steve (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft)/Reader, Gene/Jailbreak/Hi-5 (The Emoji Movie), Jailbreak/Smiler, Lord Boxman/Eugene "Gar" Garcia, George Washington/Martha Washington, Alexander Hamilton/Sonic the Hedgehog, Jim Halpert/Michael Scott, Eievui | Eevee/Pikachu, Kasumi | Misty/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Serena, Chica (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Harry Potter, Bonnie/Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Freddy Fazbear/Reader, Freddie Benson/Nevel Papperman, Gibby Gibson/Nevel Papperman, Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello/Vince Muccio, Liane Cartman/Quahog Residents (Family Guy), Lois Griffin/Glenn Quagmire, Glenn Quagmire/Joe Swanson, Benny (In the Heights)/Alexander Hamilton

Additional Tags: Futanari, Mouth Sewn Shut, Everyone Is Gay, Kissing, Necrophilia, Murder, BDSM, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Must Read, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Discussion of Abortion, Abortion, Glasses, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Fuckin' Fluffy Mondays, Everybody Dies, Holocaust, I did this instead of studying for my finals, harambe trump, Cereal, Vore, Cock & Ball Torture, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Furry, Irony, Epic, Bromance, Blue Eyes, Green Eyes, Brownies, Mind Control, Dogs

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

[catboy-showdown]

List of all Catboy competitors in order of how many submissions each got

List with what bracket each character is in will be coming soon

Below the cut cause it’s long

Adrien/Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug (5)

Virgil Sanders from Sanders Sides (5)

Catra from She-Ra (4)

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale (3)

Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4 (2)

Odd Dells Robbia from Code Lyoko (2)

Noise from Roleslaying with Roman (2)

Logan Sanders from Sanders Sides (2)

Hunter Wittebane from The Owl House (2)

Luz Noceda from The Owl House (2)

The Baron from The Cat Returns (2)

The Rum Rum Tugger from Cats the Musical (2)

Sunny from Omori (2)

Magolor from Kirby (2)

Tybalt Capulet from Romeo and Juliet (2)

Joe secondopinionson from Moral Orel (1)

Satan from Obey Me Shall We Date (1)

Ritsuka from Loveless (1)

Firestar from Warriors (1)

Hello Kitty from Hello Kitty (1)

Albert Vanderboom from The Rusty Lake Games (1)

Rui Kamishiro from Project Sekai (1)

Gin Ibushi from Your Turn to Die (1)

G’raha Tia from Final Fantasy XIV (1)

Sage Lesath from Last Legacy (1)

Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji (1)

Kenma Kozume from Haikyuu (1)

Miya Chinen from Sk8 the Infinity (1)

Saturn from Pokémon (1)

Old Hob from IDW TMNT comics (1)

The Wanderer from Genshin Impact (1)

Che’nya from Twisted Wonderland (1)

T’Challa from Black Panther (1)

Tsukiyomi Ikuto from Shugo Chara (1)

Yoru from Shugo Chara (1)

Lady Noire from Miraculous Ladybug (1)

Jon Sims from The Magnus Archives (1)

Ichigo Momomiya from Mew Ichigo (1)

Chu Wanning from The Husky and his White Cat Shizun (1)

Patton Sanders from Sanders Sides (1)

Gundham Tanaka from Danganronpa (1)

Xiaohei from The Legend of Hei (1)

Sun from Spell Bound (1)

Azure Lion from Lego Monkie Kid (1)

Loki from MCU (1)

Yoichi Tanaka from Ao Haru Ride (1)

Inigo the modded Khajiit from Skyrim (1)

Julian Devorak from The Arcana (1)

Garfield from Garfield (1)

Ryan Akagi from Infinity Train (1)

Haru Yoshioka from The Cat Returns (1)

L from Death Note (1)

Sebastian from Stardew Valley (1)

Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats the Musical (1)

Skimbleskanks the Railway Cat from Cats the Musical (1)

Robbie Valentino from Gravity Falls (1)

Marvin the Magnificent from Jacksepticeye (1)

Rocky from Lackadaisy (1)

Burgerpants from Undertale (1)

Miles Morales from Into the Spiderverse (1)

Brett Hand from Inside Job (1)

Stat from Q-Force (1)

Chase McCain from Lego Undercover (1)

Link from Legend of Zelda (1)

Xio from The Sunbearer Trials (1)

Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls (1)

Charlie Spring from Heartstopper (1)

Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club (1)

Carlos the Scientist from Welcome to Night Vale (1)

Donnie from rottmnt (1)

Lucius Spriggs from Our Flag Means Death (1)

Anathema Device from Good Omens (1)

Puss from Puss in Boots (1)

Daniel from Hello Kitty (1)

Kyo from Fruits Basket (1)

Wally Darling from Welcome Home (1)

Lalli Hotakainen from Stand Still Stay Silent (1)

Starflight from Wings of Fire (1)

Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney (1)

Sun from Five Nights at Freddy’s (1)

Nepeta from Homestuck (1)

Jaspersprite from Homestuck (1)

Cat from Miitopia (1)

Nagisa Shingetsu from Danganronpa (1)

Raymond from Animal Crossing (1)

Laurance Zvahl from Minecraft Diaries (1)

Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium (1)

Raine Whispers from The Owl House (1)

Sigma Klim from Zero Escape (1)

Gavin Reed from Detroit Become Human (1)

Cat from Wii Sports (1)

Chip from Just Role With It (1)

Rei Suwa from Buddy Daddies (1)

Player from The Leet World (1)

JP from Craig of the Creek (1)

Kermit the Frog from The Muppets (1)

Ranma Saotome from Ranma (1)

Stanley from The Stanley Parable (1)

Kano from Kagerou Days (1)

Adrian Graye from The Owl House (1)

Christina Posabule from Moral Orel (1)

Legolas from Lord of the Rings (1)

Y’shtola Rhul from Final Fantasy XIV (1)

Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto (1)

Yuni from Mewkledreamy (1)

Gary from SpongeBob (1)

Ishigami from Kaguya Sama Love is War (1)

Kitty Cheshire from Ever After High (1)

Miles Edgeworth from Ace Attorney (1)

Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1)

Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons (1)

Gumball Waterson from The Amazing World of Gumball (1)

[madmen-ao3feed]

All Together™

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

by mellloyelllo

die

Words: 10, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Orange is the New Black, Steven Universe (Cartoon), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), Shark Tale (2004), Sharknado (Movies), Jaws (Movies), XXXTentacion (Musician) RPF, OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes, Undertale (Video Game), Deltarune (Video Game), Roblox (Video Game), Family Guy (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, The Cleveland Show, Garfield - All Media Types, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC Universe Online, Victorious (TV), iCarly, Minecraft (Video Game), But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Russian Doll (TV 2019), My Singing Monsters, Revolver - The Beatles, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fairy Tail, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), M&M's Commercials, Homestuck, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Donkey Kong (Video Games), Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), Santa Clarita Diet (TV), Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, 私がモテないのはどう考えてもお前らが悪い! | Watamote - No Matter How I Look At It It's You Guys' Fault I'm Unpopular!, Free!, American Horror Story, Ирония судьбы | The Irony of Fate (Movies), John Wick (Movies), Fortnite (Video Game), Overwatch (Video Game), Salad Fingers, Wonder Woman (2017), अलीबाबा और चलीस चोर | Alibaba Aur 40 Chor | Adventures of Ali-Baba and the Forty Thieves (1979), Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis, Political RPF - US 21st c., Maroon 5, Twenty One Pilots, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, Everyman HYBRID, Everybody Else (Band), Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng, Arctic Monkeys, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, Game of Thrones (TV), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Teen Titans Go!, Regular Show, Clarence (Cartoon), Flaming Carrot Comics, Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain | Amélie (2001), Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë, Jane the Virgin (TV), H2O: Just Add Water, Shrek (Movies), Fish Hooks (TV), Shark Tank (TV 2009), Of Mice & Men (Band), Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck, Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series), The Stanley Parable, Hitler: The Rise of Evil (TV 2003), Fran Bow (Video Game), Hamilton - Miranda, Johnny Test (Cartoon), A Separate Peace - John Knowles, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Office (US), Five Nights at Freddy's, Phineas and Ferb, Moshi Monsters (Video Game), Neopets, K-pop, Poptropica (Video Game), Baby-Sitters Little Sister - Ann M. Martin, Super Planet Dolan (Web Series), Slazo, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), We Bare Bears (TV), Adventure Time, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mighty Magiswords (Cartoon), Hey Arnold!, Rugrats & All Grown Up! (Cartoons), CatDog (Cartoon), Harvey Beaks (Cartoon), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunter X Hunter, Camp Camp (Web Series), Fairly OddParents, Camila Cabello (Musician), Anne with an E (TV), G.I. Joe - All Media Types, 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Eminem (Musician), Club Penguin, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works, Captain America (Movies), American Dad!, Country Music RPF, Tiger Cruise (2004), Karate Kid (Movies), Lilo & Stitch (2002), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom - A. C. Crispin, The Princess and the Frog (2009), The Aristocats (1970), The Muppet Show, The Muppets - All Media Types, Sesame Street (TV), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney, Dork Diaries Series - Rachel Renee Russell, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Apple "Get a Mac" Commercials, McDonalds "NHL Mini-Sticks" Commercials, Talking Tom and Friends (Cartoon), Nintendogs, Melanie Martinez (Musician), Little Witch Academia, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Cowboy Bebop (Anime), Gravity Falls, Halloween Movies - All Media Types, The Nun (2018), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), How to Get Away with Murder, School of Rock (2003), The Cheetah Girls (Movies), Good Luck Charlie, Ant-Man (Movies), A.N.T. Farm, Codename: Kids Next Door, Powerpuff Girls, Mr. Pickles (Cartoon), Peanuts, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Fallout (Video Games), Weather Girl (2009), Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Burger King "The Burger King" Commercials, My Babysitter's A Vampire, The Amazing World of Gumball, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Minions (2015), Despicable Me (Movies), Because of Winn-Dixie - All Media Types, South Park, Sanjay and Craig (Cartoon), Breadwinners (Cartoon), Robot and Monster, Fanboy & Chum Chum (Cartoon), Monsters vs Aliens (2009), Original Work, Mary Poppins - P. L. Travers, Godspell - Schwartz, Het Achterhuis | The Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank, Ed Edd n Eddy, Eddsworld - All Media Types, Ed Sheeran (Musician), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Furry (Fandom), Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Movie (2014), Lego - All Media Types, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, True Jackson: VP, Pinky and the Brain, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Multi-Fandom, Dance Moms RPF, Life Is Strange (Video Game), Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3, Portal (Video Game), Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical - geekenders, Ariana Grande (Musician), Justin Bieber (Musician), Bebe Rexha (Musician), Taylor Swift (Musician), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Liv and Maddie, Crash Bandicoot (Video Games), Shake It Up! (US TV), G-Force: Guardians of Space, G-Force (2009), Ancient History RPF, Ancient Egyptian Religion, Little House on the Prairie (TV), The Prince of Egypt (1998), Mulan (1998), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain, Number the Stars - Lois Lowry, The Giver Series - Lois Lowry, Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes, SuperLuv - Shane Dawson (Song), Kirby - All Media Types, Chick-fil-A "Eat Mor Chikin" Commercials, Cow and Chicken (TV), Block B, Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types, Groundhog Day (1993), Christian Bible, Islamic Lore, Jewish Scripture & Legend, The Epic of Gilgamesh, תורה | Torah, Hindu Religions & Lore, Orphan Black (TV), Black Panther (2018), Mad Men, Goosebumps - All Media Types, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pretty Little Liars, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Scooby Doo - All Media Types, Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs, Pillsbury Company "Pillsbury Doughboy" Commercials, Nickelback (Band), Rocko's Modern Life, All That (TV 1994), The Color Purple - Alice Walker, Doraemon (Manga), Go Diego Go!, MS Paint Adventures, Homestar Runner, Inanimate Insanity (Web Series), Battle For Dream Island (Web Series), Digimon - All Media Types, Caillou (Cartoon), Berenstain Bears Series - Stan & Jan & Mike Berenstain

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Oscar (Shark Tale), Brook Soso, Alex Vause, Piper Chapman, Megan Bloomfield, Graham Eaton, Lenny the Chocolate Moose, George Milton, Lennie Small, Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello, Lemony Snicket, Alexandrite (Steven Universe), Dominga "Daddy" Duarte, Artesian McCullough, Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Zircon (Steven Universe), Jade West, Joel Luschek, Noelle Holiday, Slim (Of Mice and Men), Slime (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft), Enderman (Minecraft), Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Violet Baudelaire, Klaus Baudelaire, Sunny Baudelaire, Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Janae Watson, Sister Jane Ingalls, Sophia Burset, Baz (Sharknado), Robin Hood (Once Upon a Time), Starfire, Cyborg (Character), The Beast (Over the Garden Wall), Stanley (Disney: Beauty and the Beast), John Bennett (Orange is the New Black), John Doe (Roblox), John Wick, Ruby (Steven Universe), Jane Doe, Justin Hammer, Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Peridot (Steven Universe), The Narrator (The Stanley Parable), Shrek (Shrek), Annoying Dog (Undertale), Ben Shapiro, Desert Glass (Steven Universe), GLaDOS, Winnie (Free!), Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap, Watanabe You, Franny Morello, Thanos (Marvel), Spider (Minecraft), May Parker (Spider-Man), Courage (Courage the Cowardly Dog), Peter Parker, Lois Griffin, Michael Scott, Freddy Fazbear, Nevel Papperman

Relationships: Piper Chapman/Alex Vause, Nicky Nichols/Alex Vause, Parker (Leverage)/Alex Vause, Megan Bloomfield/Graham Eaton, Barry Benson/Oscar (Shark Tale), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale) & Peridot (Steven Universe), Olivia Caliban/Jacquelyn Scieszka, Blue Diamond/Greg Universe, Sans (Undertale)/Shrek (Shrek), Papyrus (Undertale) & Sonic the Hedgehog, Noelle Holiday/Susie (Deltarune), George Milton & Lennie Small, Artesian McCullough/Maritza Ramos, Alex Vause/Reader, W. D. Gaster/Sans/Reader, Ned (Pushing Daisies)/Harry Potter, Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Harry Potter, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Garnet/Jasper (Steven Universe), Alice (Alice in Wonderland)/Christopher Robin (Winnie-the-Pooh), Frank Castle/John Wick, Joel Luschek/Nicky Nichols, Alexandrite/Malachite (Steven Universe), Freddie Benson/Carly Shay, Star Butterfly & Steven Universe, Count Olaf/Esmé Squalor, Galina "Red" Reznikov/Gloria Mendoza, Enid (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes)/Pearl (Steven Universe), Enid/Red Action (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes), Carol Denning/Reader, Sans/Sans (Undertale), Chara/Frisk (Undertale), Tony Stark/Thanos, Peter Griffin/Johnny Test, Courage/Katz, Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester, Blue Diamond (Steven Universe)/Eugene Krabs, Gene Forrester/Phineas "Finny", Creeper (Minecraft)/Sans (Undertale), Creeper/Steve (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft)/Reader, Gene/Jailbreak/Hi-5 (The Emoji Movie), Jailbreak/Smiler, Lord Boxman/Eugene "Gar" Garcia, George Washington/Martha Washington, Alexander Hamilton/Sonic the Hedgehog, Jim Halpert/Michael Scott, Eievui | Eevee/Pikachu, Kasumi | Misty/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Serena, Chica (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Harry Potter, Bonnie/Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Freddy Fazbear/Reader, Freddie Benson/Nevel Papperman, Gibby Gibson/Nevel Papperman, Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello/Vince Muccio, Liane Cartman/Quahog Residents (Family Guy), Lois Griffin/Glenn Quagmire, Glenn Quagmire/Joe Swanson, Benny (In the Heights)/Alexander Hamilton

Additional Tags: Futanari, Mouth Sewn Shut, Everyone Is Gay, Kissing, Necrophilia, Murder, BDSM, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Must Read, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Discussion of Abortion, Abortion, Glasses, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Fuckin' Fluffy Mondays, Everybody Dies, Holocaust, I did this instead of studying for my finals, harambe trump, Cereal, Vore, Cock & Ball Torture, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Furry, Irony, Epic, Bromance, Blue Eyes, Green Eyes, Brownies, Mind Control, Dogs

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

[bountyofbeads]

I miss Barack Obama soooooooooo much!! 😢😭😭😭I miss his wisdom, compassion, humanity, comfort, diplomacy and oratory.

Read Barack Obama’s Eulogy for Elijah Cummings

“His commitment to justice and the rights of others would never, ever waver.”

Christian Paz | Published October 25, 2019 1:34 PM ET | The Atlantic | Posted October 25, 2019 |

Former President Barack Obama delivered a eulogy today honoring Representative Elijah Cummings of Maryland, who died last week after a decades-long career in the House of Representatives. Cummings was known in Congress as a staunch defender of voting rights and for his perch as chair of the House Oversight Committee, which put him at the center of the impeachment inquiry now facing President Donald Trump. The widespread bipartisan adulation Cummings’s colleagues had for him was made clear yesterday, when he lay in state at the Capitol—the first African American lawmaker to be afforded that honor in the nation’s history.

Below, the full text of Obama’s remarks as delivered.

To the bishop, and the first lady, and the New Psalmist family, to the Cummings family, Maya, Mr. President, Madam Secretary, Madam Speaker, governor, friends, colleagues, staff.

The seed on good soil, the parable of the sower tells us, stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. The seed on good soil.

Elijah Cummings came from good soil. And in this sturdy frame, goodness took root. His parents were sharecroppers from the South. They picked tobacco and strawberries, and then sought something better in this city, South Baltimore. Robert worked shifts at a plant, and Ruth cleaned other people’s homes. They became parents of seven, preachers to a small flock. I remember I had the pleasure of meeting Elijah’s mother, Ruth, and she told me she prayed for me every day, and I knew it was true, and I felt better for it. Sometimes people say they are praying for you, and you don’t know. They might be praying about you, but you don’t know if they are praying for you. But I knew Miss Ruth was telling the truth.

So they were the proverbial salt of the earth, and they passed on that strength and that grit, but also that kindness and that faith to their son. As a boy, Elijah's dad made him shine his shoes and tie his tie, and they’d go to the airport—not to board the airplanes, but to watch others do it. I remember Elijah telling me this story. Robert would say, “I have not flied. I may not fly, but you will fly one day. We can’t afford it right now, but you will fly.”

His grandmother—as Elijah related—and as grandmothers do, was a little more impatient with her advice. Your daddy, she said, “he’s been waiting and waiting for a better day. Don’t you wait.” And Elijah did not wait. Against all odds, Elijah earned his degrees. He learned about the rights that all people in this country are supposed to possess, with a little help, apparently, from Perry Mason. Elijah became a lawyer to make sure that others had rights, and his people had their God-given rights, and from the statehouse to the House of Representatives, his commitment to justice and the rights of others would never, ever waver.

Elijah’s example: a son of parents who rose from nothing to carve out just a little something, a public servant who toiled to guarantee the least of us have the same opportunities that he had earned. A leader who once said he would die for his people, even as he lived every minute for them—his life validates the things we tell ourselves about what’s possible in this country. Not guaranteed, but possible. The possibility that our destinies are not preordained. But rather, through our works, and our dedication, and our willingness to open our hearts to God’s message of love for all people, we can live a purposeful life. That we can reap a bountiful harvest. That we are neither sentenced to wither among the rocks nor assured a bounty, but we have a capacity, the chance, as individuals and as a nation, to root ourselves in good soil.

Elijah understood that. That’s why he fought for justice. That’s why he embraced his beloved community of Baltimore. That’s why he went on to fight for the rights and opportunities of forgotten people all across America, not just in his district. He was never complacent, for he knew that without clarity of purpose and a steadfast faith, and the dogged determination demanded by our liberty, the promise of this nation can wither. Complacency, he knew, was not only corrosive for our collective lives, but for our individual lives.

It has been remarked that Elijah was a kind man. I tell my daughters—and I have to say, listening to Elijah’s daughters speak, that got me choked up. I am sure those of you who have sons feel the same way, but there is something about daughters and their fathers. And I was thinking, I would want my daughters to know how much I love them, but I would also want them to know that being a strong man includes being kind. That there is nothing weak about kindness and compassion. There is nothing weak about looking out for others. There is nothing weak about being honorable. You are not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect. I was sitting here and I was just noticing The Honorable Elijah E. Cummings and, you know, this is a title that we confer on all kinds of people who get elected to public office. We’re supposed to introduce them as honorable.

But Elijah Cummings was honorable before he was elected to office. There’s a difference. There is a difference if you are honorable and treated others honorably outside the limelight. On the side of a road; in a quiet moment, counseling somebody you work with; letting your daughters know you love them. As president, I knew I could always count on Elijah being honorable and doing the right thing. And people have talked about his voice. There is something about his voice. It just made you feel better. There’s some people, they have that deep baritone, a prophetic voice. And when it was good times and we achieved victories together, that voice and that laugh was a gift. But you needed it more during the tough times, when the path ahead looked crooked, when obstacles abounded. When I entertained doubts, or I saw those who were in the fight start to waver, that’s when Elijah’s voice mattered most.

More than once during my presidency, when the economy still looked like it might plunge into depression, when the health-care bill was pronounced dead in Congress, I would watch Elijah rally his colleagues. “The cost of doing nothing isn’t nothing,” he would say, and folks would remember why they entered into public service. “Our children are the living messengers we send to a future we will never see,” he would say, and he would remind all of us that our time is too short not to fight for what’s good and what is true and what is best in America.

Two hundred years to 300 years from now, he would say, people will look back at this moment and they will ask the question “What did you do?” And hearing him, we would be reminded that it falls upon each of us to give voice to the voiceless, and comfort to the sick, and opportunity to those not born to it, and to preserve and nurture our democracy.

Elijah Cummings was a man of noble and good heart. His parents and his faith planted the seeds of hope, and love, and compassion, and righteousness in that good soil of his. He has harvested all the crops that he could, for the Lord has now called Elijah home, to give his humble, faithful servant rest. And it now falls on us to continue his work, so that other young boys and girls from Baltimore, across Maryland, across the United States, and around the world might too have a chance to grow and to flourish. That’s how we will honor him. That’s how we will remember him. That’s what he would hope for. May God bless the memory of the very honorable Elijah Cummings. And may God bless this city, and this state, and this nation that he loved. God bless you.

[ao3feed-orphanblack]

All Together™

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

by mellloyelllo

die

Words: 10, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Orange is the New Black, Steven Universe (Cartoon), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), Shark Tale (2004), Sharknado (Movies), Jaws (Movies), XXXTentacion (Musician) RPF, OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes, Undertale (Video Game), Deltarune (Video Game), Roblox (Video Game), Family Guy (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, The Cleveland Show, Garfield - All Media Types, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC Universe Online, Victorious (TV), iCarly, Minecraft (Video Game), But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Russian Doll (TV 2019), My Singing Monsters, Revolver - The Beatles, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fairy Tail, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), M&M's Commercials, Homestuck, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Donkey Kong (Video Games), Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), Santa Clarita Diet (TV), Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, 私がモテないのはどう考えてもお前らが悪い! | Watamote - No Matter How I Look At It It's You Guys' Fault I'm Unpopular!, Free!, American Horror Story, Ирония судьбы | The Irony of Fate (Movies), John Wick (Movies), Fortnite (Video Game), Overwatch (Video Game), Salad Fingers, Wonder Woman (2017), अलीबाबा और चलीस चोर | Alibaba Aur 40 Chor | Adventures of Ali-Baba and the Forty Thieves (1979), Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis, Political RPF - US 21st c., Maroon 5, Twenty One Pilots, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, Everyman HYBRID, Everybody Else (Band), Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng, Arctic Monkeys, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, Game of Thrones (TV), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Teen Titans Go!, Regular Show, Clarence (Cartoon), Flaming Carrot Comics, Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain | Amélie (2001), Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë, Jane the Virgin (TV), H2O: Just Add Water, Shrek (Movies), Fish Hooks (TV), Shark Tank (TV 2009), Of Mice & Men (Band), Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck, Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series), The Stanley Parable, Hitler: The Rise of Evil (TV 2003), Fran Bow (Video Game), Hamilton - Miranda, Johnny Test (Cartoon), A Separate Peace - John Knowles, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Office (US), Five Nights at Freddy's, Phineas and Ferb, Moshi Monsters (Video Game), Neopets, K-pop, Poptropica (Video Game), Baby-Sitters Little Sister - Ann M. Martin, Super Planet Dolan (Web Series), Slazo, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), We Bare Bears (TV), Adventure Time, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mighty Magiswords (Cartoon), Hey Arnold!, Rugrats & All Grown Up! (Cartoons), CatDog (Cartoon), Harvey Beaks (Cartoon), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunter X Hunter, Camp Camp (Web Series), Fairly OddParents, Camila Cabello (Musician), Anne with an E (TV), G.I. Joe - All Media Types, 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Eminem (Musician), Club Penguin, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works, Captain America (Movies), American Dad!, Country Music RPF, Tiger Cruise (2004), Karate Kid (Movies), Lilo & Stitch (2002), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Price of Freedom - A. C. Crispin, The Princess and the Frog (2009), The Aristocats (1970), The Muppet Show, The Muppets - All Media Types, Sesame Street (TV), Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney, Dork Diaries Series - Rachel Renee Russell, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Apple "Get a Mac" Commercials, McDonalds "NHL Mini-Sticks" Commercials, Talking Tom and Friends (Cartoon), Nintendogs, Melanie Martinez (Musician), Little Witch Academia, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Cowboy Bebop (Anime), Gravity Falls, Halloween Movies - All Media Types, The Nun (2018), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), How to Get Away with Murder, School of Rock (2003), The Cheetah Girls (Movies), Good Luck Charlie, Ant-Man (Movies), A.N.T. Farm, Codename: Kids Next Door, Powerpuff Girls, Mr. Pickles (Cartoon), Peanuts, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Fallout (Video Games), Weather Girl (2009), Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Burger King "The Burger King" Commercials, My Babysitter's A Vampire, The Amazing World of Gumball, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Minions (2015), Despicable Me (Movies), Because of Winn-Dixie - All Media Types, South Park, Sanjay and Craig (Cartoon), Breadwinners (Cartoon), Robot and Monster, Fanboy & Chum Chum (Cartoon), Monsters vs Aliens (2009), Original Work, Mary Poppins - P. L. Travers, Godspell - Schwartz, Het Achterhuis | The Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank, Ed Edd n Eddy, Eddsworld - All Media Types, Ed Sheeran (Musician), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Furry (Fandom), Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Movie (2014), Lego - All Media Types, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, True Jackson: VP, Pinky and the Brain, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Multi-Fandom, Dance Moms RPF, Life Is Strange (Video Game), Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3, Portal (Video Game), Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical - geekenders, Ariana Grande (Musician), Justin Bieber (Musician), Bebe Rexha (Musician), Taylor Swift (Musician), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Liv and Maddie, Crash Bandicoot (Video Games), Shake It Up! (US TV), G-Force: Guardians of Space, G-Force (2009), Ancient History RPF, Ancient Egyptian Religion, Little House on the Prairie (TV), The Prince of Egypt (1998), Mulan (1998), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain, Number the Stars - Lois Lowry, The Giver Series - Lois Lowry, Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes, SuperLuv - Shane Dawson (Song), Kirby - All Media Types, Chick-fil-A "Eat Mor Chikin" Commercials, Cow and Chicken (TV), Block B, Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types, Groundhog Day (1993), Christian Bible, Islamic Lore, Jewish Scripture & Legend, The Epic of Gilgamesh, תורה | Torah, Hindu Religions & Lore, Orphan Black (TV), Black Panther (2018), Mad Men, Goosebumps - All Media Types, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pretty Little Liars, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Scooby Doo - All Media Types, Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs, Pillsbury Company "Pillsbury Doughboy" Commercials, Nickelback (Band), Rocko's Modern Life, All That (TV 1994), The Color Purple - Alice Walker, Doraemon (Manga), Go Diego Go!, MS Paint Adventures, Homestar Runner, Inanimate Insanity (Web Series), Battle For Dream Island (Web Series), Digimon - All Media Types, Caillou (Cartoon), Berenstain Bears Series - Stan & Jan & Mike Berenstain

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Oscar (Shark Tale), Brook Soso, Alex Vause, Piper Chapman, Megan Bloomfield, Graham Eaton, Lenny the Chocolate Moose, George Milton, Lennie Small, Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello, Lemony Snicket, Alexandrite (Steven Universe), Dominga "Daddy" Duarte, Artesian McCullough, Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Yellow Zircon (Steven Universe), Jade West, Joel Luschek, Noelle Holiday, Slim (Of Mice and Men), Slime (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft), Enderman (Minecraft), Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Violet Baudelaire, Klaus Baudelaire, Sunny Baudelaire, Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Janae Watson, Sister Jane Ingalls, Sophia Burset, Baz (Sharknado), Robin Hood (Once Upon a Time), Starfire, Cyborg (Character), The Beast (Over the Garden Wall), Stanley (Disney: Beauty and the Beast), John Bennett (Orange is the New Black), John Doe (Roblox), John Wick, Ruby (Steven Universe), Jane Doe, Justin Hammer, Carrie "Big Boo" Black, Peridot (Steven Universe), The Narrator (The Stanley Parable), Shrek (Shrek), Annoying Dog (Undertale), Ben Shapiro, Desert Glass (Steven Universe), GLaDOS, Winnie (Free!), Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap, Watanabe You, Franny Morello, Thanos (Marvel), Spider (Minecraft), May Parker (Spider-Man), Courage (Courage the Cowardly Dog), Peter Parker, Lois Griffin, Michael Scott, Freddy Fazbear, Nevel Papperman

Relationships: Piper Chapman/Alex Vause, Nicky Nichols/Alex Vause, Parker (Leverage)/Alex Vause, Megan Bloomfield/Graham Eaton, Barry Benson/Oscar (Shark Tale), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale) & Peridot (Steven Universe), Olivia Caliban/Jacquelyn Scieszka, Blue Diamond/Greg Universe, Sans (Undertale)/Shrek (Shrek), Papyrus (Undertale) & Sonic the Hedgehog, Noelle Holiday/Susie (Deltarune), George Milton & Lennie Small, Artesian McCullough/Maritza Ramos, Alex Vause/Reader, W. D. Gaster/Sans/Reader, Ned (Pushing Daisies)/Harry Potter, Amethyst (Steven Universe)/Harry Potter, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Garnet/Jasper (Steven Universe), Alice (Alice in Wonderland)/Christopher Robin (Winnie-the-Pooh), Frank Castle/John Wick, Joel Luschek/Nicky Nichols, Alexandrite/Malachite (Steven Universe), Freddie Benson/Carly Shay, Star Butterfly & Steven Universe, Count Olaf/Esmé Squalor, Galina "Red" Reznikov/Gloria Mendoza, Enid (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes)/Pearl (Steven Universe), Enid/Red Action (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes), Carol Denning/Reader, Sans/Sans (Undertale), Chara/Frisk (Undertale), Tony Stark/Thanos, Peter Griffin/Johnny Test, Courage/Katz, Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester, Blue Diamond (Steven Universe)/Eugene Krabs, Gene Forrester/Phineas "Finny", Creeper (Minecraft)/Sans (Undertale), Creeper/Steve (Minecraft), Creeper (Minecraft)/Reader, Gene/Jailbreak/Hi-5 (The Emoji Movie), Jailbreak/Smiler, Lord Boxman/Eugene "Gar" Garcia, George Washington/Martha Washington, Alexander Hamilton/Sonic the Hedgehog, Jim Halpert/Michael Scott, Eievui | Eevee/Pikachu, Kasumi | Misty/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Serena, Chica (Five Nights at Freddy's)/Harry Potter, Bonnie/Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's), Freddy Fazbear/Reader, Freddie Benson/Nevel Papperman, Gibby Gibson/Nevel Papperman, Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols, Lorna Morello/Vince Muccio, Liane Cartman/Quahog Residents (Family Guy), Lois Griffin/Glenn Quagmire, Glenn Quagmire/Joe Swanson, Benny (In the Heights)/Alexander Hamilton

Additional Tags: Futanari, Mouth Sewn Shut, Everyone Is Gay, Kissing, Necrophilia, Murder, BDSM, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Must Read, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Discussion of Abortion, Abortion, Glasses, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Fuckin' Fluffy Mondays, Everybody Dies, Holocaust, I did this instead of studying for my finals, harambe trump, Cereal, Vore, Cock & Ball Torture, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Furry, Irony, Epic, Bromance, Blue Eyes, Green Eyes, Brownies, Mind Control, Dogs

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2YSndqV

[ceruleanempyrean]

President Obama’s Eulogy for Elijah Cummings

To the bishop, and the first lady, and the New Psalmist family, to the Cummings family, Maya, Mr. President, Madam Secretary, Madam Speaker, governor, friends, colleagues, staff.

The seed on good soil, the parable of the sower tells us, stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. The seed on good soil.

Elijah Cummings came from good soil. And in this sturdy frame, goodness took root. His parents were sharecroppers from the South. They picked tobacco and strawberries, and then sought something better in this city, South Baltimore. Robert worked shifts at a plant, and Ruth cleaned other people’s homes. They became parents of seven, preachers to a small flock. I remember I had the pleasure of meeting Elijah’s mother, Ruth, and she told me she prayed for me every day, and I knew it was true, and I felt better for it. Sometimes people say they are praying for you, and you don’t know. They might be praying about you, but you don’t know if they are praying for you. But I knew Miss Ruth was telling the truth.

So they were the proverbial salt of the earth, and they passed on that strength and that grit, but also that kindness and that faith to their son. As a boy, Elijah's dad made him shine his shoes and tie his tie, and they’d go to the airport—not to board the airplanes, but to watch others do it. I remember Elijah telling me this story. Robert would say, “I have not flied. I may not fly, but you will fly one day. We can’t afford it right now, but you will fly.”

His grandmother—as Elijah related—and as grandmothers do, was a little more impatient with her advice. Your daddy, she said, “he’s been waiting and waiting for a better day. Don’t you wait.” And Elijah did not wait. Against all odds, Elijah earned his degrees. He learned about the rights that all people in this country are supposed to possess, with a little help, apparently, from Perry Mason. Elijah became a lawyer to make sure that others had rights, and his people had their God-given rights, and from the statehouse to the House of Representatives, his commitment to justice and the rights of others would never, ever waver.

Elijah’s example: a son of parents who rose from nothing to carve out just a little something, a public servant who toiled to guarantee the least of us have the same opportunities that he had earned. A leader who once said he would die for his people, even as he lived every minute for them—his life validates the things we tell ourselves about what’s possible in this country. Not guaranteed, but possible. The possibility that our destinies are not preordained. But rather, through our works, and our dedication, and our willingness to open our hearts to God’s message of love for all people, we can live a purposeful life. That we can reap a bountiful harvest. That we are neither sentenced to wither among the rocks nor assured a bounty, but we have a capacity, the chance, as individuals and as a nation, to root ourselves in good soil.

Elijah understood that. That’s why he fought for justice. That’s why he embraced his beloved community of Baltimore. That’s why he went on to fight for the rights and opportunities of forgotten people all across America, not just in his district. He was never complacent, for he knew that without clarity of purpose and a steadfast faith, and the dogged determination demanded by our liberty, the promise of this nation can wither. Complacency, he knew, was not only corrosive for our collective lives, but for our individual lives.

It has been remarked that Elijah was a kind man. I tell my daughters—and I have to say, listening to Elijah’s daughters speak, that got me choked up. I am sure those of you who have sons feel the same way, but there is something about daughters and their fathers. And I was thinking, I would want my daughters to know how much I love them, but I would also want them to know that being a strong man includes being kind. That there is nothing weak about kindness and compassion. There is nothing weak about looking out for others. There is nothing weak about being honorable. You are not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect. I was sitting here and I was just noticing the honorable elijah e. cummings and, you know, this is a title that we confer on all kinds of people who get elected to public office. We’re supposed to introduce them as honorable.

But Elijah Cummings was honorable before he was elected to office. There’s a difference. There is a difference if you are honorable and treated others honorably outside the limelight. On the side of a road; in a quiet moment, counseling somebody you work with; letting your daughters know you love them. As president, I knew I could always count on Elijah being honorable and doing the right thing. And people have talked about his voice. There is something about his voice. It just made you feel better. There’s some people, they have that deep baritone, a prophetic voice. And when it was good times and we achieved victories together, that voice and that laugh was a gift. But you needed it more during the tough times, when the path ahead looked crooked, when obstacles abounded. When I entertained doubts, or I saw those who were in the fight start to waver, that’s when Elijah’s voice mattered most.

More than once during my presidency, when the economy still looked like it might plunge into depression, when the health-care bill was pronounced dead in Congress, I would watch Elijah rally his colleagues. “The cost of doing nothing isn’t nothing,” he would say, and folks would remember why they entered into public service. “Our children are the living messengers we send to a future we will never see,” he would say, and he would remind all of us that our time is too short not to fight for what’s good and what is true and what is best in America.

Two hundred years to 300 years from now, he would say, people will look back at this moment and they will ask the question “What did you do?” And hearing him, we would be reminded that it falls upon each of us to give voice to the voiceless, and comfort to the sick, and opportunity to those not born to it, and to preserve and nurture our democracy.

Elijah Cummings was a man of noble and good heart. His parents and his faith planted the seeds of hope, and love, and compassion, and righteousness in that good soil of his. He has harvested all the crops that he could, for the Lord has now called Elijah home, to give his humble, faithful servant rest. And it now falls on us to continue his work, so that other young boys and girls from Baltimore, across Maryland, across the United States, and around the world might too have a chance to grow and to flourish. That’s how we will honor him. That’s how we will remember him. That’s what he would hope for. May God bless the memory of the very honorable Elijah Cummings. And may God bless this city, and this state, and this nation that he loved. God bless you.

[penniesforthestorm]

“I’m officially requisitioning this chicken”: ‘Justified’ Season 1, Episodes 6-9

As we move into the second half of Justified’s first season, things are heating up all over Kentucky. We get more insight into the operations of the Crowder clan, plus some even larger adversaries who’ll come into play further down the line. These notes cover Episodes 6 through 9, the next batch will be 10-12, with the finale getting its own entry. Notes on the pilot are here and Episodes 2-5 can be found here. Drop me a line any time-- if I could be sitting next to you in a dive bar, I would be. (Not much for Jim Beam, though, or, if I’m being honest, bourbon in general, owing to some unfortunate shenanigans in my early 20s. Mine’s a Jameson and ginger ale, with a squeeze of lime.)

Episode Six: “The Collection”

-We open with Raylan visiting Boyd, on his feet again after the shooting, and Boyd bending Raylan’s ear about his newfound ministry. Raylan doesn’t buy it for a minute, and he asks Boyd for dirt on Arlo.

-Raylan passes along Johnny Crowder’s warning to Ava about Bo-- she’s not overly concerned. Art, coming to pick Raylan up for the day’s work, is not terribly pleased to find Ava in his motel room.

-Case of the week: civil forfeiture, centering on a man named Owen Carnes trying to offload paintings purchased with stolen cash. Art and Raylan pick up a gallery owner, Karl Hanselman (Robert Picardo) in Cincinnati, and drive him down to Carnes’ place. Carnes and the gallery owner begin discussing his collection of Hitler paintings. Art, in disbelief, asks, “You mean Adolf?”

-Raylan, disgusted, wanders out and finds Carnes’ wife, who doesn’t seem particularly surprised or upset at the turn of events. I have in my notes “another blonde in trouble Jesus Raylan”--there’s nothing untoward, but... dude.

-On the way back to Cincinnati, Hanselman tells Raylan, with a smirk, to come see his “collection” any time. Raylan, never one to mince words- “I’d rather stick my dick in a blender.”

-Raylan finally meets ADA Vasquez, after some folderol at the office involving the now very dead Owen Carnes. Later, Winona shows up, asking Raylan to run a list of names through various criminal databases. Raylan visits Gary, and informs him that if Winona comes to grief through association with any of Gary’s shady dealings, Gary’s going to make another enemy.

-Back at the Carnes place, Raylan unravels the scam Caryn Carnes and the horse trainer, Greg Davis, are trying to pull-- he knows Owen didn’t kill himself, and he pulls Davis to his side by telling him, in an abstract way, about Gary, and how many more people he might have to kill. “Where will it end?” he asks.

-Finally, he goes to see Hanselman, and reluctantly agrees to see ‘the collection’. This is a great moment- the camera stays on Hanselman and Raylan as H. explains how his father used to work for Hitler, “a very charismatic man who knew who was to blame”. After the war, dad recanted publicly, but held onto his repugnant views in private. The camera then shows us shelves of glass jars filled with ash-- Hanselman has been tracking down Hitler’s paintings and burning them, in revenge.

-Raylan goes to see Boyd, and asks him to forget about Arlo. “I met a man whose whole life was crippled,” he explains. “I’m just going to let that old dog lie.”

Episode Seven: “Blind Spot”

-We open with Ava in the hardware store. Johnny Crowder comes in and loudly asks the proprietor for some specialty items-- rope, duct tape, plastic sheeting, and a shovel, on orders from the soon-to-be released Bo Crowder. Aunt Helen sees his bluff and raises him, aiming a shotgun at him-- a warning he wisely heeds.

-Later, Raylan visits Ava and she talks about Bowman, explaining that things weren’t miserable all the time. “I keep going back and forth, between light and dark,” she tells him. Just as they’re getting comfy, a masked intruder bursts in, blasting away, but Raylan manages to wrestle him out through the open second-floor window, firing off a few shots.

-Sheriff Mosley takes Raylan to question Johnny Crowder. On the drive, he explains his beef with the Crowders-- a certain Henry, widely known as ‘the good Crowder’, raped and killed Mosley’s ten-year-old niece. Johnny, for his part, knows nothing about the shooting, and confesses his affection for Ava.

-the next morning, we see a man watching Ava outside the Harlan County Sheriff’s Office. We then catch up to the actual shooter-- a cringing kid called Red, and we get a name for Ava’s watcher, Mr. Duke.

-Raylan gets chewed out by Art, since he has now literally tampered with the investigation against Boyd Crowder-- “Were you in her bedroom?” Unusually, Raylan has no smarty rejoinder.

-Ava and Winona share a strained conversation in the courthouse-- “You ever get tangled up with a law enforcement officer?” Winona asks. They’re interrupted by Sheriff Mosley, who asks Ava to come with him.

-Raylan visits Boyd, looking for answers. After a false start, Boyd explains that Bo didn’t order Ava to be shot, and plants a flea in Raylan’s ear-- what if Ava wasn’t the target?

-Answers arrive quickly: Mosley is in cahoots with the Miami cartel. Duke was supposed to kill Raylan, but, since Duke isn’t familiar with Kentucky, Mosley supplied Red. Mosley shoots Duke to prevent his mistake being exposed, and hatches a plan to bring Raylan to the cartel. Red, driving a bound and gagged Ava, gleefully expounds on Ava’s desirability among the straight men of Harlan County. Ava frees herself enough to strangle him, and the chase ends with Raylan and Ava free and Mosley under arrest. In a passing comment, Mosley brings up the Dixie Mafia, and their current alliance with Miami.

-Finally, we meet Bo Crowder (M.C. Gainey). Boyd’s ongoing conversations with Raylan have not gone unnoticed by his fellow inmates, and just as they start beating on him for being a snitch, Bo intervenes. “It’s good to see you, Daddy,” Boyd says with a smile.

Episode Eight, “Blowback”

-At a diner in Lexington, the newly-released Bo slides into a booth with Ava. He’s out early courtesy of Mosley’s arrest, and he delivers a truly nasty innuendo about ‘homemade pie’ before Raylan arrives on the scene.

-Case of the week: a prisoner, Cal Wallace (Deadwood’s W. Earl Brown), is in Lexington for a few hearings, pending transfer to a ‘supermax’ facility.

-Winona arrives home in the middle of the afternoon, to find an unexpected guest-- Wynn Duffy (Jere Burns), self-styled ‘home security consultant’ and possessor of a luxuriant blond coiffure. Right away, Winona smells a rat, and sends Duffy packing, but not before he snidely sends his regards to Gary.

-Prisoner Wallace places the Marshals’ Office under a hostage situation, and Art tells Raylan that if he gets a clear shot, he should take it. Raylan, due for a meeting with Vasquez, begins chatting with Wallace, attempting to defuse the situation. Wallace is a colorful sort-- he has no particular illusions about escape or amnesty. Eventually, Raylan teases out that Wallace is furious with the prison system for dehumanizing him, and under mounting pressure, offers Wallace some fried chicken, sending Tim Gutterson out to get it before Lexington SWAT arrives.

-Winona confronts Gary about Duffy’s visit-- he initially tries to play dumb, but then gets irritated when he realizes how much she knows. Duffy was on the list of names that Winona gave to Raylan in E6.

-Another parable from the Book of Raylan Givens: “People in terrible situations stay alive not because they think things will get better, but because they want to see how the story ends.” For now, Cal Wallace’s story ends in fried chicken, a shot of bourbon, and not dying on the carpet.

-Unfortunately for Raylan, he still has to meet with Vasquez, who brings bad news: thanks to Raylan hopping into bed with Ava, the case against Boyd Crowder has essentially disappeared. Raylan goes to greet an ebullient Boyd. “Who are any of us to fight the will of God?” Boyd proclaims. Raylan promises that he’ll see Boyd locked up again before long, as Boyd practically skips into his father’s arms.

Episode Nine: “Hatless”

-Raylan, on a week’s suspension, is drinking away his sorrows when he eavesdrops on two bros talking derogatorily about women. “I didn’t order assholes with my whiskey”, he sneers, and all three go outside. Hilariously, it’s the middle of the afternoon. In short order, Raylan gets the tar kicked out of him, and one of the troublemakers even steals his hat. Winona, who he was supposed to meet, finds him on the ground. (One has to wonder how many times she found him in these exact circumstances.)

-at Raylan’s motel, Winona asks him about Duffy as she tends to his wounds. As yet, he doesn’t know much, but it paints an unpleasant picture.

-Gary, meanwhile, goes to visit his old college friend Toby, a former football star. He’s trying to worm money out of him, but Toby tells him he can’t spare any. He offers, instead, to provide a little intimidation.

-Raylan tracks down Duffy in his shabby office. Duffy’s lackey makes a few menacing remarks, and Raylan, his face still raw from the bar fight, calmly says, “I already got one ass-kicking; I’m not looking for another”, but mentions that if Duffy goes after Gary and Winona, they’ll have more to discuss. After Raylan leaves, Duffy orders his pal to tail him and ‘put him in the ground’.

-Duffy makes a phone call to his boss, a Mr. Arnett, asking him for more instructions. Gary shows up with Toby, who gets slightly carried away with his role as a heavy. Gary, meanwhile, blabbers on about how Arnett could double his money on the land deal if he just waits.

-And it’s our buddy Arnold Pinter, back from a disappointing sojourn in Tahiti. (An aside: in my experience after more than a decade in NY, there are few people more parochial than born-and-raised Brooklynites. And, y’know, fair dues, it’s a great place, but it’s really fucking funny to this Montanan.) Pinter gives Raylan the rundown on Duffy and Arnett-- Arnett is with the Dixie Mafia, operating out of Frankfort, and Duffy is a dangerous loose cannon.

-Raylan tracks down Duffy’s sidekick Billy, who turns out not to be so tough on his own-- he reveals that Duffy plans to kidnap Winona that very night. Raylan immediately goes to get Winona. On the drive to safety, she tries to explain why she’s with Gary, and says maybe the most devastating thing she’s said so far, “I needed a little hope in my life.”

-After a talk, Raylan and Gary go to confront Duffy and Arnett. Gary offers Arnett the deed to his proposed ‘shopping destination’, and to everyone’s surprise, Arnett accepts. Duffy quite literally goes ballistic, screaming at Arnett, “Show me the Benjamins the homies are always rapping about!” But cooler heads (eventually) prevail, and Raylan takes Gary back to Winona.

-Finally, Raylan recovers his stolen hat, thanks to the bartender. He mocks the thief, saying, “That’s a ten-gallon hat on a twenty-gallon head.”