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chaerssss · 1 year

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ANOTHER UNIVERSE

ꕥ Jean x female reader

ꕥ Words:- 4.6k

ꕥ Synopsis:- you've always had a little crush on Jean but afraid of losing him, you never confessed it to him. However one night, things take a turn..

ꕥ Genre:- Romance, Sad, Angst and a little suggestive.

ꕥ Type:- Oneshot

ꕥ Warnings:- mentions of blood, death scenes and fighting scenes.

ꕥ Disclaimer:- This is based on the end of season 3. I apologise in advance if some things are incorrect. Even though, I'm a big fan of aot, sometimes it's hard for me to go with the storyline.

Edit:- 53 LIKES?!?! 😭 TYSM GUYS🫶

"Even if the fates unraveled our destiny. I would find a way back to you..."

Another day went by.

Another 24 hours of bloodshed.

It was beginning to get exhausting.

Your horse guided your way back to the cabins. Back inside the walls. If you were being honest, the inside of the walls were much terrifying than it's exterior. Fear was more prominent when you found yourself here. With population. Humans.

What was so terrible?

Everything.

Every person that has dedicated their life to eradicate titans from the world, they feel it more than anyone around. Survey corps. The name feels like such a high status. It might be...but what would we do of the status when we won't be here to celebrate and enjoy a free life?

Going outside the walls and everytime, every goddam time, coming back with absolute no success. Leaving so many friends, companions, family...behind. Then returning with a heavy heart, with bodies of the people we once used to train with. Only for the people to question our ability.

Maybe...we weren't worth it? Maybe, it was because of us, we hadn't had any success yet. Even though, some of us were already at the edge of Paradis. It's confusing right? But it's our reality for now.

We grew in this depressing, fowl place. Not a lap to put our head on, not a shoulder to cry on...not parents to caress our cheeks and give us hope. How long could we possibly survive.

And that's the funny thing...we did. Mikasa, Sasha, Armin, Eren..his mere name makes your heartache. That freedom crazy bastard. Connie, Annie, Jean.

Down the path of this whole 'end titans' agenda, we lost more than we could've imagined. Bertholdt, Marco...Reiner, Commander Erwin.

Your eyes had started to pool with tears. You knew deep down that we were mere pawns, being played here and there because our ancestors couldn't manage themselves. So, even if you knew the other side held the enemies, you knew they were just like you in the end.

You wanted to see him. Jean Kirsten. That idiot. He made you fall for him. By literally doing nothing. You don't know why, you don't know how. But he seems to attract you for some reason.

Although, he's always crazy about girls and showing off infront of them. You don't particularly like these types of guys, who act desperate but he...you just find him cute. At first, you thought you were going crazy because that's how it seemed. Eventually, when you grew up with him...it all made sense.

He looked different now. His hair were longer, he had slight facial hair which was a cherry on top. He grew taller and his shoulders became broad. Tch, it's weird you even noticed all these things.

So you decided to invade Connie's cabin today, because jean and him were roommates. You realised it was his weekly smoke sesh which consisted of smoking, drinking & chatting absolute shit about the pricks we call the police, military and people we genuinely hate.

Jean would be manspreaded, sat on the uncomfortable bed, you besides him, exhaling smoke into the air as he'd tilt his head back ever so slightly- the stuble on his face prominent and his mullet abit messy.

"you wanna smoke?" He'd say with a slight chuckle passing you the blunt. How sad, the smoke made you feel suffocated. You didn't like it one bit. However, you needed to be by him tonight.

"I despise it." You say, eyes still on the table infront of you. Connie was on the sofa, sleeping like a log.

"You're no fun... " he'd say with a smile "so, how was ur week y/n?"

You leaned back on the bed, your arms supporting you, "pretty shit honestly...killing titans, cleaning their filthy blood from my swords, watching my mates...loosing to some of those gigantic idiots."

The sorrow was dripping out of you at this point. You had to control it. Keep it in a jar. However, Jean didn't make it any easy. Your eyes gazed at his perfect side profile. A high bridged nose, piercing light brown eyes and his soft lips. You sighed, and went back to staring at the table. Escaping the feeling he made you feel just by looking at him.

Jean chuckled, "I feel you." His lips were stretched in a smile but you could feel the pain in it. He'd nod his head in a comforting way, as always. And somehow, you had gotten used to this. "So, why the depressing week? Titans? Losing? Or just generally?"

His arms curled around your shoulder, sending goosebumps on your skin. He touches so nonchalantly, not knowing the effect he has on you.

"...just..generally." A heavy exhale escaped your lips. "You wanna talk about it?" He said while staring at you from the side. God, you have to control yourself so much around him. And he doesn't make it any easier.

"Nah it's fine...i wouldn't wanna burden you with it. Besides..." you paused and walked to the window. "The weather is beautiful today." a wave of breeze makes your hair dance as you close your eyes, feeling easy.

It didn't go unnoticed by him as he took steps to join you. The light breeze causing your hair to flow. His heart rate had increased, was it the booze? But..maybe he has always felt like this? He doesn't know and nor does he care. "Wow, your hair looks stunning." He whispered, as his fingers tuck a few strands behind your ear.

The surroundings were dead silent. You were afraid he'd hear your heartbeat. Or he might see your red cheeks. God, why'd he have to be like this? You turn your face away.

"I guess the weather is pretty good" he chuckled. "It's also a pretty good time for a kiss." He gave a cheeky smile, teasing you.

This basta- Oh my god! You kept chanting in your brain 'calm down', and you ahve no idea if it was working or not. In fact, you even held your breath, trying to maintain that poker face. A few beats later you yelled "...Connie!! Jean wants to kiss you!"

He laughed aloud, "Y/n! I was joking! Don't do that!" When both of you turned behind to see Connie, he was still asleep. He must've been really tired. Meanwhile Jean, pretended to pout and crossed his arms as he glanced at connie.

The awkwardness faded away for a few seconds. You both kept talking about different things but somehow Jean managed to bring the 'ideal boyfriend' thing in between. Question. How do you tell your crush that they are in fact your ideal type, subtly so that they never suspect a thing?

"But if u were single and were to hypothetically want a handsome guy to kiss u.. I wouldnt mind it being me." He'd chuckle again. He knew he was being a pain in the ass, "I'll be quiet now I promise." But it was also evident, he wanted an answer.

You couldn't help but chuckle, "have you always been desperate?"

He tried to laugh it off nervously, but get slightly embarassed, "Desperate? Nooo.." he paused for a few seconds. And on god you just wanted to pounce on him. Respectfully. Not that you would ever in real life, maybe you had started to get drunk? But..did you even drink? Your eyes trailed down his neck, the first few buttons were undone, exposing his collarbones and chest.

"It's not desperate to let a girl know you like them." His deep voice reached your ears and your eyes went to his at lightening speed. You realised he was looking at you while you were gawking at him shamelessly. Jesus Y/n. So you immediately looked away, flustered.

"..I thought you liked Mikasa.." you had to get that out of your system. He smiled, nudging your shoulder, not answering your question "y/n, I like the way you blush when you're embarrassed" he then laughed, finally coming back to the point, "Also Mikasa is great. I just also find you to be great as well."

"You're spouting nonsense..." You started to walk back to the bed because there was no way you were letting him see this side you. You were sure a few more minutes and smoke would start coming out of your ears. Besides, who taught him to talk like that anyway? When he was younger, he'd always get himself embarrassed infront of others.

He started to follow you. The atmosphere had become tense yet again. He came to a pause behind you, getting close as you stood near a drawer. "I think you're quite the catch." He leaned it to whisper it in your ear. This is unfair. Your breath had started to tremble. He truly makes you feel things.

You felt his hard front on your back, " ...jean.." you managed to say, more like murmur. His hands were now on your waist. "Yes y/n..?" He did it again, he whispered it in your ear. For a moment you felt his lips brush over your neck and god you wanted to lean on him, let your hair fall on one side and let him devour you.

He noticed you're slightly flustered. He shouldn't do this..he still isn't able to figure out if this was due to the drink or you. He knew he was getting hard. His nose was by your forehead, and he could smell you. It intoxicated him. But at the same time he felt like embracing your tiny body in his.

As much as you wanted his hands on your body, you decided to gently remove them, "don't say the words you don't mean..." Your eyebrows furrowed, it was just so painful. He could be saying all of this under the influence of alcohol.

It felt disappointing to lose your touch and yet Jean still smiled, nodding slightly. Placing his hands on your shoulders, "You're right. I was just, trying to be cute. It's probably too early to say that kind of stuff..."

"So, y/n, will you let me try again..? Cause I genuinely do think you're a catch." The way he calls for you, make your heart ache. But...you can't. In fact, you wouldn't want to make this into something more. Because, this world you're living in isn't...gentle at all.

But you can't help it. You are sure you didn't even let a drop of alcohol touch you and yet you feel so high and drunk. It might be his aura or his eyes in particular. So you don't know what's best to do right now...go with your desires or leave him hanging.

After staring at him for a good 30 seconds, you chose the first option.

Using his collars you pulled him close and placed a soft, brief peck on his lips. Then running away for your life to the other room.

He looked shocked. More like perplexed. But it's sad you couldn't see his face. As you think you were getting away, you heard footsteps behind you, realizing he was running after you.

"Hey! That was my first kiss!... And I liked it!" It took a while but he was eventually able to catch up to you, grabbing your hips and pulling you close to him, "I'd like a 2nd one, if I'm being honest."

I'm in trouble. All because of this horse face. He leaned in a little closer, cornering you to the wall, flustered, you say, "that was my first one too..." But the butterflies in your stomach just won't stop fluttering. You tried to escape from his embrace.

He'd chuckle, trying to kiss you again. Your attempts of escaping futile as Jean had quite a strong grip, "Now, y/n. Don't be like that... Give the guy who stole your 1st kiss a 2nd one huh?" he'd smile, blushing a little.

He's so cute. You have no idea what he might be thinking right now. However, it was spontaneous of you to just kiss him out of nowhere. Then it dawned on you that he's drunk. All of this is just because he's drunk. None of it is true. Right now, he's looking at you like you're the only girl in the world and...it makes your heart beat 10 times faster.

You look away, "you're drunk....you won't remember any of this jean..." You take a deep breath, clenching the little fabric of his shirt, "But, if someday, i got the courage to finally confess to you while you're sober...then you can get a second kiss. You hadn't realised but your tears were already dripping down your cheeks, "until then...please don't get my hopes high...and please..stay alive."

A pang. That's what it felt like, seeing you cry. Jean, has always been a soft person. Heck, even the idea of admitting in the survey corps terrified him. But his mother always told him that he was brave. Maybe, that's what drove him to be there with everyone else.

Apart from the negative aspects, if he hadn't took that step, he would've never...never found you. How miserable would he have been then. He takes a step back, dropping his shoulders.

"You're right.. I probably won't remember this once I'm sober... But, when I do forget.. remember this... Drunk or sober... My feelings don't change for you. You're the best girl I've met and whether you accept it or not, I don't just want a kiss"

He smiled again. A bright one this time. Where his eyes turn into crescents and you can see the obvious blush, not knowing if it's because he's drunk or... flustered. "You are amazing."

If anyone still hasn't figured out why he attracted me so much. I hope...it's much clear now.

You tried to calm yourselves down, " ...I have an early...meeting tomorrow with Levi and hange-san.." ,sniffles, "I'll go sleep..."

He'd wipe your tears away, kissing your forehead gently. "Dont you worry now... You go to your little meeting, and when you come back, we can talk."

He'd smile again, getting close to you once again as he looked into your eyes, "You.. Me.. Together.. No alcohol needed."

That night you had a hard time falling asleep. Jean's words kept coming back to you. You, me together, no alcohol needed. And a smile would appear everytime. In fact, you didn't even want to sleep.... probably because, reality had started to feel better than dreams.

Oh, you fell, it was so evident. And you've fallen so deep that if you tried to come back up, you'll lose yourself with it. He was your first love..but at the same time you started to have second thoughts.

The anxiety, if that's what you can call it. There were so many things you were afraid of. But, the number 1 was losing him...so you prayed that night. If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...

The next day you're back to training in the backyard with Mikasa, eren and armin. It's the same old thing but something turns on when it's you four together. There's a touch of comfort and warmth. Armin tells so many facts and stories we three wouldn't even understand, Mikasa would blush seeing eren all motivated to defeat the titans and you'd catch her.

She doesn't seem to hide the fact that she likes him... it's just that, she's afraid to admit it vocally. Just like you. Your eyes get downturned but you turn your attention back to the training.

Jean watches you from a far. It's quite obvious Jean likes you, and that's pretty obvious to him as well because right now, a tinge of jealousy can be felt in his chest. He just wishes, it was him besides you. He was the reason you'd smile like that, where your dimples appear, you didn't even know you had. Although, he'd pretend to look away each time Armin or Eren would catch him staring.

"Eren could you teach me the swing you did that day?" You request the dark haired guy. Eren came behind you. Ok, maybe you should think ahead for the future before you ask for something. Because you thought he'd teach you by doing it himself but apparently he decided to hug you from the behind, and hold the sword, while your bodies were so close together.

He's still watching from a far, his eyes following you. Eren is being a bit flirtatious by placing his arms around you, which Jean notices. Or maybe he's just seeing things because how would Eren, the freedom crazy bastard possibly have the time to flirt? In fact, he won't even know the purpose behind it?

"Ugh... What a flirt" He murmured being a little disgusted. "Hey Mikasa, you wanna tell me about your week?" He'd say in an attempt to distract himself from the jealous feelings of watching you with Eren.

A minute later he finds you ruffling Eren's hair who's on the ground and you're laughing, probably,because eren made a joke. This is all in his brain because that's not true at all, you were laughing because Eren tripped on thin air. And it was funny, to see a guy who can literally turn into someone so huge and crush millions, fall on the ground while making a cute sound.

This time Jean doesn't bother hiding his jealousy and anger. He has a straight face as he watches you play with Eren's hair, his hand clenching the handle of his 3D maneuvering equipment sword.

"Oh you think Eren is so cute!?" He'd say in a mocking tone, trying to get your attention. You turned yourself to him and realised he had been watching you. Wow, he was...watching me? He slowly got closer to you, "What about me?.. I haven't really even got the chance to show you how cute I can be.."

Your eyes go wide for a second. Because A) he's too damn close and B) he just said that aloud, in front of your friends. Which was even more embarassing. But he seemed to not care. You take a step back, "what..are you talking about?" Your cheeks are so red right now, why did the weather have to be clear today?

"Me?... Why, I simply thought you seemed to be getting a little.. flirty with Eren." He'd chuckle nervously before stepping closer again. Your poor heart was in no way ready for this. "I just thought I'd show you what you've been missing out on when you've been hanging out with that hot headed idiot.."

In no time, you're literally corned to the concrete wall behind and he slightly tilted his face. If it wasn't for the support of the wall you bet you'd fall down because just the way he's talking right now is making you go crazy enough to even let out a moan. Jesus..

You look away, trying to come up with something. You know damn well he looks majestic right now but unfortunately you don't have the courage to look straight at him. So you say, " ....just so you know ...it's hard for me to talk to boys that I find attractive..." Your cheeks go even more red, " ...ahem...captain Levi is calling me." And you walk away.

Jean was quite literally stunned. Shocked. Perplexed. And whatever else you can say instead of 'surprised'. He doesn't move an inch from where he trapped you while you walk away, "y/n...!" He finally yells. "You find.. Me.. Attractive?" He'd ask. His face would go red as he'd look after you.

"Well, when you get back we are gonna have a talk.." yeah sure whatever you say pretty boy. Was what you had in mind but no way you were ready for that 'talk' yet. You thought you were the only with a bright scarlet face when on the other hand, Jean is literally dying of shyness. So you just raised a middle finger in the air, trying to run away without any words.

He frowned as you flicked him off, "Well I hope your happy now that you got that out of your system.. Just wait until you see me when you come back" He'd put his middle finger up as well, and stick his tongue out at you. But then quickly rethink what happened and get flustered again.

Meanwhile the people around you were....well..not surprised.

"Finally..." Mikasa let out and Eren follows, "I thought they'd already be married or something." And continues with his punches in the air. "Eren.." Armin says as if to scold him, "what? You can even ask the infiltrators, they thought the same..."

A while later you're under a tree, looking off into the setting sun. Jean appeared behind you, resting his body against the tree as he watched you sit there.

"What you doing over here y/n? You look deep in thought.. I'd hate to distract you." His deep voice, which had now quite frankly, started to sound like honey, reached your ears.

"It's not a thought but..I find sunsets so pretty." You say, not breaking your gaze from the sky. But then you turn around and signal him to sit besides you. He smiled before sitting down next to you, leaning his head against the tree as he kept his eyes on you.

"They are indeed quite pretty.." his eyes move to the sunset then back to you, "but I think you're more beautiful than any sunset."

"..you're cheesy as ever." You chuckled. And... Something shifted in Jean's eyes as he looked at you. Maybe even in his heart. It made him content, that it was you who was smiling next to him.. because of him. The orange and golden hues of the sun reflect perfectly on your skin. As if you already didn't look like a goddess, the dipping sun made you look etheral. Your eye color now more visible because of the bright light. You're just so...pretty. And..Jean can't get tired of watching and observing you. Its like everytime he finds something pretty in you.

"I can't help it.. I'm a sucker for romance." He sighed, staring at the sky with you. "I'm also a sucker for beautiful girls.. you are the perfect combination."

A gush of butterflies fill your gut, and you smile, "you know, I must say... you're the reason I've stopped feeling insecure."

"I am?" He intentionally made a surprised look and when you chuckled while playing with the grass, his eyes became soft once again, "You know.. seeing you smile like that is always a great sight for me. It makes me believe maybe just maybe... I also make you feel something."

He stretched his arms and legs out to stretch contently while he inhaled sharply and your eyes fell on his built physique. His structured face and brown hair. You wish to play with them..style them in cute hairstyles and bows. The thought made you smile, but then...he turned to you and said, "It's quite a beautiful night isn't it.."

"Yeah.." you said not looking at the sky but him instead, "Its..beautiful." The sun had set entirely and it became darker than before. Just at the right time, as though the universe was playing it's cards, a wave of wind blew your hair prettily.

Jean watches the way the wind blew through your hair, before opening his eyes and looking at your face. He'd tilt his head, placing his hands on your shoulders and gently turning your face to him. He'd hold eye contact with you before moving closer.

"You have the most kissable lips y/n.." He chuckled before leaning in closer and brushing his nose against yours. You could feel his breath, and it sent goosebumps all over you. Your stomach was doing sommersaults. And again, his scent, a mix of an earthly smell but at the same time a fragrance that intoxicated you.

"...jean... you're too close.." you breathed out heavily.

"Too close?"

"And if I get closer?" He leaned in.

"Do I get to kiss those beautiful lips?"

Your throat had beginning to feel tight and you chest...it felt like a drum as of now. What should you even do right now? Your mind went blank, until, you hear a voice calling from a distance, "s-sasha is calling me.." you whispered.

He smiled and then gently turned your face towards him again,"hm?" Gosh that was so hot of him...he pressed himself against you and pulled you closer so that both your bodies were touching. He'd hold your chin gently with his hands, "I know you want to kiss me. It's the only thing you can think about right now.. I can feel it"

You didn't have the confidence to even say something let alone look him in the eye. Meanwhile you felt his gaze on you, with each second a pool of desire growing inside both of you and just..a fuzzy feeling inside you couldn't quite point out.

He kissed your neck gently, his lips soft against your skin. He'd move his head up again to look at your lips, "Don't fight it anymore..." You flinched at the touch, it was like an electric shock. You still tried with all your might, to turn this situation into a normal one, "J-jean....Sasha's calling me.."

"Sasha can wait.. " was what he said. And when he did, you felt vibrations on your nape. A pathetic sound could leave you any time if he didn't stop. He chuckled as his jaw started to clench a little, a small amount of frustration and jealousy in his tone, "It doesn't matter who calls you... I just.. wanna kiss you for gods sake."

Your raised your hand to slowly caress his hair, "..jean." you whispered, "I'm... I'm scared." Eyebrows furrowing as a sense of pain arrived in you, "I'm scared that I'll end up losing you. The world we live is not...gentle. it's cruel...and to love a person truly in this world is...scary."

And you meant it.

You meant every word of it.

Because you've seen it. You've experienced it. You didn't wanna bear that pain anymore. You agree you're weak... because if another person close to you died, you'll lose yourself with it.

"Listen y/n. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not that stupid. I know this world isn't gentle.. Hell it's more cruel than anything I would ever have imagined.. But that's all the more reason to be with the people we love.. What good would it be to survive this nightmare if we can't spend it with the people we love?" He'd move his hand to yours, gently taking your hand, "I'll protect you y/n...I'll keep you safe."

It was just how your mother used to tell you how your dad made her feel. A feeling of comfort, so comfortable that I wanted to cuddle him everytime he was near. And for some reason, my heart rate was always high near him. His eyes...were like an ocean. And I was willing to drown in them.

"Promise?" You extended out your pinky.

Maybe that's how I feel right now.

He'd take your pinky finger and wrap his own around it, "I Promise." He gave a little smile before looking back up at you. He still held your hand, gently rubbing the side of your finger with his thumb.

So, I'll trust you.

You leaned in to reach near his face, a little nervous but wanting to feel his lips. Feeling his breath on them. He watched you as you got closer to him, his eyes trailed down to your lips and then back up again. He moved his head closer to yours, leaning in close before he finally pressed his lips against yours. He wrapped his arms around your body in order to pull you closer. His lips were firm, yet gentle. He'd kiss you for what felt like an eternity. Like that comfort your mom told you about. Your hands were in his hair while his held you close.

At first, it felt like just a touch of lips, but then a desire evoked in you to feel them again. That soft feeling. He sucked on your bottom lip and you enjoyed every little bit of it, moving back to kissing where his tongue explored the insides of your mouth. You didn't even knew he could kiss like that. He's...perfect. But he eventually broke the kiss.

"God damn.." He'd chuckle, pressing his arms close. You mirror his reaction by smiling, "...guess I do have kissable lips." "More than kissable, they are perfect lips"

He'd give you a little peck on the lips before gently rubbing your neck again, looking you in the eye again, "You really are amazing y/n... You really make me feel things I've never thought were possible, and you probably don't even realize it."

You rested your forehead on his while your hands held his neck, "..I felt the same when I saw you for the first time in the survey corps." You trail off the memory lane, "I was young..and so were you. But..you seemed to be intrigued by Mikasa...not that I can't relate but..I felt a little pang on my heart, so I just kept my distance." You were surprised you even let it out your system.

"Hearing you talk like this makes me feel like I should've came up and made my feelings known much earlier.. But, I'm here now. Let's make things right."

How does he know what to say every goddam time?

His eyes softened as he looked into yours. He would slowly take his hand out from your neck and move it to rest on your leg, slowly rubbing your thigh. You knew this wouldn't end at a kiss if you didn't stop this man, "You know that sasha was calling me right?" You murmured.

"Now I have to wonder.. Just what is sasha calling you for?"

"probably because the food is served and getting cold..."

"So food is more important than me?"

"Mhmm.." you said in a teasing tone.

"Alright.. But when we come back from eating, I'm probably gonna have to kiss you again just to remind you of what you have when you aren't eating." He got up to face you properly again, "don't be surprised if I try and steal another kiss"

"Jeez..." You took his hand in yours and chuckled, "we'll see about that later.." as both of you went in the dining room.

He slowly started walking, while looking at you with a smile, "I'm sure I won't let you escape me so easily." He whispered, "We'll see about that horse face." You winked in his direction, "Horse face?" He acted as if he got offended, "What have you got against horses anyway?" He'd nudge you lovingly, gently squeezing your hand, "I think horses are beautiful, majestic creatures. And a little bit of a compliment, sweetheart."

Your eyes automatically go wide on the use of the nickname, "stop..with those nicknames." Guess you're already a thing huh?

"Sweetheart?" He chuckled and look at you, "Do you not like nicknames then?"

"I..I do.." you say, red as a tomatoe, "let's go" upon entering the room you give him a peck on the cheek and sit next to sasha while continuing eating your food.

Both of you were fools in love.

"I'll make sure sweetheart that I give you as many kisses as you can handle from now on. Just to make up for all that I've missed out on." He whispered to himself. Throughout the dinner he kept looking at you after every bite. As if, you were gonna fade away from his sight.

You just came from a meeting again.

The same people, stressing over the same thing. But each time, there was a new hurdle. With a solution that would cost one of us our lives.

And this time it was eren. I knew it. Maybe...others knew it as well.

With all the new information in mind, we, the Eldians, have to clear the remaining titans of Paradis Island before traveling to the coast for the first time in centuries.

Will I be able to join them? Will I finally see this sea Armin keeps talking about?

But what lies ahead of that Island? ... it's, nothing but enemies, and it doesn't matter which version of history proves to be the correct one — because either way, Marley is gunning for us, and we must fight back.

Will I be able to join Jean?

You walk out of the room. Knowing you have more titans to fight. An emergency had arrived. And you volunteered to be the first one. As you're walking out, you find a figure walking towards you. A good 6 feet of a man.

Oh, that's my man.

His eyes would trail off, thinking about something "Hmm.." you sighed, "what's your pretty head thinking?"

"I was just thinking about how much you smile, you're such a beautiful girl, sweetheart." And you don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic because you do sure look the opposite of what he said right now. He'd let out a sigh of content as he leaned his head against the tree, "I like this tree. I think it helps me forget about everything for a little while though.. So it's nice to just relax like this for a minute.."

You scoffed. There. He managed to break that shell of negative energy around you, "Look at you sweet-talking me."

"Is it working? I'm not exactly a master at this kind of thing."

'not a master' sure. As if he doesn't know the things to say that make your legs weak. He nudged you playfully, "But it is working right, cause if yes, then I have some extra flirting lined up for you." A smirk appeared on his lips.

"We have titans to fight, and Levi and hange-san are literally like a metre away. They'll hear."

"So you'd rather flirt in private in the trees, hm? Because I can make that happen." He said with a shit-eating grin and his eyebrows raised. "Or is it that you're shy?" He laughed a little, "Please tell me that you're not shy, I can't take that"

You raised your eyes, staring into his, "it took me so many years to be honest about my feelings, do you still think I can be confident?" You start walking towards the horses.

He'd follow after you and look into your eyes as you did to him, "Aww, y/n.. You're so adorable like that. I don't know how you expect me to get any work done when you're looking at me like that and plus I don't think you can be confident. You are confident, whether you like it or not"

He'd smile softly and gently caress your cheek with his hand, "You're perfect y/n."

You don't even realise that your eyes are getting filled with tears. All you can think about right now is being with him. In fact, you don't even want to go fight those stupid huge things, you just want to...stay besides him. As if on instinct you open your arms and hug him, embrace him tightly. And you guys just stand there for a while, Jean's hands caressing your back, as though he knows the rush of anxiety you're going through. His "shhh" and "it's alright's" actually impacted you. But you think...now you'll always need him. You'll always require him and only him to comfort you.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something." You wipe your eyes before he can see your tears and just look at him. Wih a clear vision. With a deep breath you walk down to the stables to fetch your horse.

He'd lean against the tree again and watch you, grinning as his eyes trailed down your body gently. He'd watch the way you walked, from your ass to your legs. Eventually he'd look back up at your face and smirk before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

Sasha comes by him, "who're you staring at?"

"No one" He'd smile slightly "Just enjoying the view, that's all."

He'd then open his eyes to look up at you "What are you doing here though Sasha? It's not time for your training yet is it?"

Sasha narrows her eyes, "horse face, I've been a little too suspicious of you and y/n..." she looks between you two, "what is going on with you two?"

"If you must know, y/n really is beautiful, so why shouldn't I be interested? She's funny, charming, and she's an amazing kisser...."

Sasha cranes her neck so hard that she hears a 'crack' "Ow!" Jean stops to look at her, "woah easy.."

"Then.. that'd mean you..you kissed her?"

And all he did was give a wink. But Sasha appeared rather worried. Maybe, it was just like all those times. Jean just wanted attention, someone to be with him. She was worried you'd end up getting your heart broken. But when she stared at Jean for a while, she realised...the way he looked at you, was similar to the way Mikasa looked at eren...and that said something. Because Sasha has only ever seen her being so devoted to someone. "You're in love Jean..." Sasha says.

"You're damn straight I'm in love with her. I don't think I've ever felt like this about anyone before."

Sasha smirks and pats Jean's shoulder, "good luck getting your angel..." And leaves.

He'd groan as he realised that Sasha was right, before he'd turn back and look at you once more before walking, his hands into his pockets, "...angel though." He'd smirk as he leaned against the tree again, thinking about what Sasha said. "Y/n... My angel? I like that. Maybe that'll be one of her nicknames.." He'd sigh, smiling faintly as he thought about different nicknames he knew you would definitely like or hate.

You walked up to him with your horse. "I believe you might've seen Sapphire but never had a good introduction." You bring her close with the leash to Jean, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "Say hi Sapphire,...this..is my lover."

He smiled at the name you gave the horse while gushing over how you called him your lover and pet her head gently before turning to you, "...Be safe y/n, okay?" He looks into your eyes gently and makes a promise to you before climbing onto the horse with you, "And when you get back, I'm getting that second kiss. You better remember that, cause I know I do.."

You blush at the proximity of you two on the horse. So close, it was just like the night it all started. His hard front upon your back, his warmth on your arms and his breath felt on the crook of your neck.

"...now get off i have work to do."

"Alright, alright", He'd hop off and watch as you rode out of the training grounds and off towards your mission,"Good luck y/n!" He called out to you as you started riding further away. He'd then take one last look at you, blushing a little for a moment before looking away, "I'm gonna need that kiss next time I see you." Yes. He yelled it. Infront of everyone. And he knows the kind of expression you'd be making. And how you'd scold him once you get back but then melt away with his touch.

Those were the last words i heard.

Before the echoing roars of these monsters.

You were frozen. Seeing the horrendous conditions of the village. You thought the titans were finally eliminated at least from the villages, because the only ones left were around the Paradis island.

Your feet didn't let you make a move. Besides, Sapphire was injured in her back limb. Everything around you happened in slow motion. From the blood splashing everywhere, to the head of titans being slaughtered to the ground. Or the fellow soldiers being ruthlessly handled by the titans.

You...should do something.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something."

Even in this battlefield, his voice sounded clear. It echoed throughout your brain. A moment later, a fellow corps member came by you, informing you how the the person who was supposed to call for back up was crushed by the titans. Meaning.... there's no way this can end easily.

Maybe...

Just maybe, this might be the end.

'If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...'

With a deep breath, you whipped sapphire's leash and she was obeying while running towards the titans. A deep rage had awoken inside of you. A deep,..desire to..fight!

You rode all across the biggest Titan which seemed to be crushing everyone around. As soon as you reached it, it tried to kill you by using its feet but you dogded it successfully, thanks to Sapphire.

With that being said, his feet once stomped right besides you, that's when you took the chance to use your sword as a support for climbing it's huge body. When it pierced it's skin, it tried to yank you off of him but you kept hanging. Grunting, it was hard... you were sweating all over and your clothes were splattered by blood.

With much power you managed to climb till it's arms which was a bad idea, it's big hand came hovering over your tiny body. However, you hung yourself on to the finger and used the 3D maneuvering gear to reach till it's nape and slash it.

The cut was successful, you hung yourself on a tree branch, panting heavily. Tears flowing uncontrollably. You screamed. You screamed your lungs off because this was exhausting. You were wailing. Don't know for what?

Freedom? Love? Death?

Something..that gave me peace.

You let your guard off too soon.

You hear a crack, and when you look down, it's the same Titan, using its body to cut down the tree. Your wide eyes looks at it in horror. Fear was creeping inside of you....was it? Because you didn't try doing anything on instinct. You...just wanted to fall.

"Be safe y/n, okay?"

His voice still lingers on. His touch as well. His warmth...

You were going to fight. If not for yourself then for Jean. The tree began to tilt and you used your gear just in time to cling on to the another tree. Another Titan had started to hover over you. It had enormous eyes and it's hair were crippled and messy. Your hooded eyes looked at it and while grinding your teeth, you used all your strength to slash it's nape. Your other injuries were starting to act up. Especially, the one where the titan threw a big ass rock at you.

This time, it was successful. However, the gas in your gear had started to decrease. To the point...it went empty. You fell off in mid air...

Half unconscious because of the previous injuries.

Somehow, this felt...quiet. and nice.

It was like all your worries were gone. Just you sliding down, like in your dreams. However, this time you weren't gonna wake up with a jolt.

The tears prickled at the corner of your eyes as the memories of your teammates, your friends, your family started to appear. You smiled nonetheless. And the last memory before your blood started to run cold, was of that horse face. That idiot who made you fall for him. Called, Jean Kirstin.

And before you knew you were gasping for oxygen because you had hit the hard ground. As the last tear fell, your eyes closed...for an eternity.

Jean would turn around to see Armin running with a worried expression. "Wh-what happened Armin?"

"The village where the titans attacked..." He paused and hunched over to pant, "The bodies..they brought the bodies!"

His eyes automatically grew wide. Just thinking that you were also involved in this. He ran with Armin as both of them went to the group of survivors that fought. All of them injured, Captain Levi, could be seen near a man, his clothes also spoiled with blood spots. Somehow it relieved him to see Captain Levi, he thought if he was here then that'd mean you were safe.

His head moved in every direction to look for you. He even called out for you in the crowd. Until a man responded, "are you perhaps looking for..Y/n?" And Jean immediately shook his head. However, the expression of the man made his anxiety act up. He saw the man shuffle something in his pockets, "She clenched it hard in her hands.."

"Y/n?" He'd say, his eyes widening as his heart stopped. He'd take the pendant and look down at it, not knowing what to say or do, "I-I don't understand.. She was just here.. It can't be.." He'd mutter, placing his other hand on his head in distress. His other hand would hold the pendant to his heart, staring at it with a dead expression "y/n.."

Armin who was standing beside Jean, was stunned. "It can't be.." he whispered. Captain Levi from a distance walked over to them, "I caught her before she could hit the ground..." Levi's hoarse voice informed. "It couldn't be helped.." he said and left.

Jean knew deep inside Levi was beating himself for not being able to save you. The man spoke up once again, "You can..see her body."

He took a step back, feeling the world around him spin. His body felt like it was going to crumble any minute now he was so shocked. "No.." He said, softly as he looked down at the necklace "I-I want to remember her when she was alive.. And I don't think I could handle being near the body without falling to pieces.. He'd take a pause, letting out a sigh as he tried to compose himself.

For the briefest moment, he felt proud that you had been able to protect everyone from that titan before he quickly realised the truth.

"...She's dead now..." He'd murmur "We have to tell everyone else.. Especially Eren and Mikasa.. They.. They were the closest to her.. And... She was gonna kiss me..."

He'd take a deep breath, feeling the pain of the loss all too well "..She'll never kiss me now..."

Eren, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha come running towards you. This time Sasha spoke, "Jean... where's Y/n?"

He kept quite. Not saying a word. He just couldn't. He couldn't say that you were gone. His eyes would lock with Eren's, staring right at him with tears in his eyes, "She's... She's gone..I couldn't do anything.." His voice broke at the end and he looked down at the ground, closing his eyes, "I-I couldn't save her Sasha... I couldn't save her..."

It was not something new. It had happened quite a few times before. Then..how come it affected them so much this time? Everyone's voices would seem quiet to Jean as he spoke. All he could hear was his own thoughts at this point, "I couldn't save her.. Why.. Why couldn't it have been me? She should be here now..."

Connie put a hand on jean's shoulder, "it's not only your fault...we..we couldn't do anything as well." tears trickled from his eyes.

He looked at Connie, "But I was supposed to be there with her.. I was supposed to protect her... I don't understand.." He'd place his hand on his forehead as he looked back up, "I should've been able to save her.. That's what I should've been able to do.."

this time Mikasa spoke, "jean...she would've wanted you to be strong." she wiped her tears, "..let's start with burying her..." He'd sniff slightly and nod gently

"That's.. Right.. She wouldn't want me just standing here mopping.. We need to move..". He'd then turn to everyone and motion for them to follow him, "Let's get moving, I know where she wanted me to bury her."

He started walking towards the forest, waiting for the others to follow him before continuing through the trees, away from the military grounds.

It was the tree, under which you both shared your first kiss. And a confession as well.

"Alright... This is the place.. y/n and I would come here a lot whenever we got a break from training. She loved it here, so this is where I'm gonna bury her."

He'd take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before starting to dig the grave "It shouldn't be too big.. We don't wanna attract any mindless titans."

He'd say this to explain himself more than anything else. Connie, Levi and eren help in digging the ground. A while later, your body is shown to them. He looked at you with tears in his eyes once again. He took in your face, running his eyes over you.

He noticed every mark on your face, all the little things that made him love you so much and he physically winced at your state. He'd sigh again heavily, putting a hand on your cheek. Eyes closed, he brought you closer to his chest, like you were just asleep and he wanted you to keep being like that.

A small tear rolled down his face as he held you gently, taking in your warmth one last time.

Everyone went silent. The atmosphere was sad, a few raindrops fell. It was as if the sky cried for you. Levi, finally told jean to bury the body.

He gave your face one last gentle kiss before slowly laying you down gently inside the grave, "I got the kiss...i guess." He paused and sighed before covering you with the soil, tears rolling down his face as he did so.

"I'll miss you.. My angel..so much.." He wiped his eyes gently "...I love you y/n.. always."

Love...funny thing isn't it?

His eyes looked up at the sky, as he began to think, though it seemed more like he was speaking to himself.

He would take a deep breath, still looking up at the sky "..Yeah, it's a funny thing, even when it hurts..."

I'll always love you. So, let's meet in another universe. Where I can be embraced by you peacefully, where I won't have to worry about losing you, where we'll talk about all the silly things. Where I'll give you your second kiss.

"I'll always love you y/n too, my sweet angel"

He smiled gently as he began to imagine a place where he could hold you once more, feeling the love he had for you deeply as he looked up at the sky.

"Maybe in another universe I'll be able to hold you.. And kiss you once more, a sweet kiss with no regrets or anything holding me back..."

"...maybe there's one where you're still alive, and where I could have a chance to hold you one more time..."

The end.

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