#murata what the FUCK MAN

[fewderpewders]

Too late

[gutouhua]

pairing. zhongli x f. reader

wc. 2.7k+

rating. explicit

tags. sort of canonverse, zhongli has ruts & dragon fangs, reader hails from mondstat, mentions of mates/mating, mentions of eating animal meat, zhongli is a perv for reader, zhongli calls reader ‘pet,’ age gap (reader is early-mid 20s, zhongli is biologically in early 30s), mentions of zhongli’s previous sexual relationships (dubcon), power dynamics, cervixfucking, overstimulation (sort of), zhongli wants to breed reader, pussydrunk zhongli, unprotected sex (pull out method)

a/n. MDNI! see end for notes

Zhongli had imagined it over a million times—taking you across the table and fucking your pussy. He knew you’d smell good down there, had scented it like a pervert in the days before your period—familiar lily mixed with strong musk and a tinge of metal. It made his fangs itch from the need to sink into your soft thighs and tongue at your slick folds.

Zhongli rutted in early spring, when trees blossomed and bore fat fruit—juicy peaches hanging heavy on thin branches. Sometimes he’d walk by them and look at them with an almost forlorn gaze. A deep ache in his body.

He wished that there was someone who would satiate his needs like seeds did to trees or bees with flowers. They mated with each other, year after year in a frenzy—a haze of powdery yellow spilling on every surface of Liyue Harbor. Zhongli didn’t have allergies, but even if he did, he would still love and envy the pollen.

It had been a long time since Zhongli had someone like that to spend his seasons with. A mate.

He’d drink copious amounts of lily bulb tea each spring to keep himself from fucking the first person who said yes to him, and would take himself into his hands with a furious passion every morning and night—even during work breaks—to relieve himself.

And it worked. He successfully passed multiple centuries of ruts like so, although it wasn’t always easy. As Morax, he was volatile—could pass for the Pyro Archon herself, Murata, but he tempered himself over the years, learning to be the composed man he was now.

But then you appeared, and the fire flared. Hutao’s newest intern—the first in nearly a decade, fresh. A slight little creature (although most people were small compared to Zhongli), and eager to learn about funeral services from Liyue’s very best. It was the first time you’d been to Liyue, so far from your home in Mondstat, and everything and everyone interested you.

I wonder if there’s a way to breed two creatures together to create an actual cocogoat. It’d be cool—Qiqi would be able to drink actual cocogoat milk, not that cheap substitute that Baizhu makes for her, and we’d be able to eat the meat. It’d taste good, right?

Zhongli chuckled, eyes soft on you. That would be a sight to behold. He didn’t mention that he’d been alive when cocogoats still roamed the Bishui Plains—a story for another time.

And then came the questions about himself.

Why are you so red, Zhongli-xiangsheng?

His rut came early this year for some reason, but he didn’t pay much attention to it. The lily bulb tea would suffice until he had a moment for himself.

But you had to make it difficult. So difficult for him.

Nothing, he murmured.

You grinned, stepping closer on tiptoes so your eyes leveled his chest. Soft rise and fall—imperceptible unless face to face like you were.

It doesn’t seem like nothing to me, Xiangsheng.

Zhongli fought the urge to inhale your soft scent. Sweet, powdery like lilies and dusk and something tender he wanted to bite—

—And he tasted blood in his mouth to stop his fangs from descending onto your exposed neck, nearly shook from the force it took to not bend you over his desk.

It would leave a mess. And Hutao would add it to his tab.

Even now you tempted him with coy glances, a bare shoulder, and sometimes a lingering touch in the space between his cuff and gloves—sharp like the sting of the formidable Raiden’s electro bolts.

“Do you want to know what I learned today, Xiansheng?” You had taken to calling him that instead of his mortal name one day. Zhongli wasn’t quite sure why, but he liked how it sounded on your lips.

He smoothed an invisible wrinkle from his suit and shuffled the papers on his desk while shifting to hide the stiffness in his pants. “Pray, do tell.”

You leaned forward, settling your weight on the heavy oak table. “I heard you’re rutting right now.”

Zhongli nearly choked on his tea. “What?”

“Rut, heat, season—Hutao told me.” You shrugged as if the topic was something mundane. “She said you rut every spring, but that it’s unusually strong this year for some reason. Something about the aura around you, I think. Why’s that?”

Because of you.

“Not sure,” Zhongli said.

“She also told me about that tea you drink.”

He nearly dropped his cup of tea. Damn the woman. Spilling all my secrets. And there wasn’t a single thing he could do—he was on her payroll.

“What about it?” he asked, trying for confidence.

“Lily bulb tea,” you continued, scrutinizing his cup, “apparently it helps calm you down and dampens the urge to fuck.”

Zhongli’s dick hardened.

“So does it?”

“What?”

“The tea. Does it help with your urges?” You jerked your head at the drink, curious.

Not when you’re around.

Zhongli had imagined it over a million times—taking you across the table and fucking your pussy. He knew you’d smell good down there, had scented it like a pervert in the days before your period—familiar lily mixed with strong musk and a tinge of metal. It made his fangs itch from the need to sink into your soft thighs and tongue at your slick folds.

He wasn’t sure what to say, but finally decided on: “Not really.”

You cocked your head to the side and bit your lips, Zhongli’s eyes following the pink tongue that peeked through. He wanted to bite them too. They’d be soft and break easily with a little bit of teeth—like almond tofu.

“Oh. Then what’re you going to do about it?”

“The usual.” Tea, masturbating, some rough fucking. Archons knew he’d need it tonight—some sort of distraction from you. He’d have to visit Madame Fang for an escort. She was used to his proclivities—would have someone able to take him.

“The usual? And what would that be?” Zhongli could almost picture you with a pen and paper in hand, a student eager for information.

He groaned internally. Now he was imagining you in a short skirt, stockings, maybe thigh highs—the fat of your thighs spilling from the top of the elastic. The image nearly had him spilling in his pants.

“I don’t think you’d want to know the particulars,” he said, his voice a soft rasp. He shifted again. “It might scare an innocent little girl like you.”

“Innocent?” You huffed. “Little? I’m a grown adult xiangsheng! I’m over the legal age—and actually much more than that. You can hardly call me little or innocent.”

“But you are,” he said indulgently, as one would towards a spoiled pet. “I am immortal, have fought and survived the Archon War. Tell me, pet, can you say the same?”

He was playing with you. Of course the two of you knew you couldn’t compare to him.

“But at the very least, you cannot consider me innocent. I’ve experienced enough things,” you muttered, annoyed.

Zhongli arched an eyebrow.

Before you knew it, he grabbed your wrist, pushing you onto the desk in one fluid motion—papers scattering to the floor like spring pollen. Zhongli pinned your hands over your head to keep you in place, and knocked your legs apart to slot his large frame between you.

“W-What’re you doing, Zhongli?”

He smiled. And there it was: his name always slipped out when you got serious.

Xiansheng.

What?

Xiansheng. He moved closer, spreading your legs further apart as he drew closer to you. You could feel your stomach pressing tightly against the cotton of your suit with each breath, your chest straining against buttons. Don’t be so impolite when your boss is trying to school you.

Xiansheng.

Good girl, he rumbled. You were so curious about the specifics of my rut—what I do to satiate my needs. Shall I show you? They say firsthand experience is the best way to learn.

His voice was heavy, hot against your ear, and you nearly jumped out of your skin when he darted a tongue out to lick the delicate shell of your ear.

So sensitive. I wonder if it’s the same in other places. Shall we find out?

Hutao had ordered him to be careful with you—a family friend. Your family owned the most successful funeral parlor in Mondstat, and they sent you to Hutao to learn how she conducted her business in Liyue. Zhongli had agreed. He could keep his hands to himself.

But then you showed up on the steps of Wansheng funeral parlor, and he knew he was fucked.

Do you want it, he whispered, I need to rut, but I always ask for permission.

Jealousy reared its ugly head. He’d done it with others—for decades, maybe even centuries, and it made sense, you couldn’t expect celibacy from him and yet…the thought of other people touching him made you want to rake your hands down his back, gouge, and suck every inch of his skin so others would know he was taken.

That he was yours.

What will it be, pet?

You nodded, eyeing the bulge in his pants. He was big. It was obvious, and it’d probably hurt. A tight fit.

Zhongli smiled—sharp teeth, predatory. I need words.

Yes.

No sooner did you give your permission did he slip your blazer off your shoulders and loosen just enough buttons to push your blouse up and over your head. You wore cotton—a simple white bra, and he wondered if you wore a matching set today.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out: you were already unzipping your pants, sliding stiff fabric down your legs, uncaring if it wrinkled. You’d have to remember to take it to the cleaners.

But later—now, you canted your hips forward, not caring about anything but the man in front of you.

So needy, he murmured, and wet.

His scent intoxicated you, his weight a delicious pressure against your skin.

Zhongli rocked against your clothed pussy, pleased to find you wet. You soaked through the cotton fabric, leaving an imprint in the shape of your pussy on your panties.

Fuck me, xiangsheng, please—I need it.

The scent of your arousal grew stronger with each tap against the wet spot. Heady, mind-numbing, as if a drug was coursing through his bloodstream. The amber of his hands grew darker, a deep, gorgeous fossilized hue, and his pupils thinned—they slitted into a sharp, almost feline countenance, predator to prey.

You would have me? he asked again, stars pulsing in his eyes. In his earlier days, before he was an archon, he had taken people without knowing what it really meant. The shame and guilt of it had made the act feel dirty for a long time—he went nearly fifty years without a single partner to help him through his ruts.

He would not make the same mistake with you.

Just fuck me.

He groaned, pulled your panties to the side—white cotton—and pushed himself into you, the entire length. It was tight and it burned as you struggled, walls stretching to accommodate his dick.

Feels so good, he grunted, you’re so tight, fuck. He lost himself in your tight heat, centuries of manners and poise melting before you.

He moved slowly at first, dragging his length out so that nothing but the tip remained inside before thrusting back in.

You shifted backward, trying to adjust to him. Soft pants, shallow—eyes squeezed shut to focus on each heavy stroke in and out of your cunt. When you started moving against him, seeking friction for yourself, Zhongli sped up. Kept most of his cock inside you with each stroke, prodding around for your sweet spot.

When he finally found it, earning a cry and squeeze around his cock that nearly made him cum, he smiled. Right there, pet?

You gasped, struggled to answer: Yeah, yeah-right there—

He continued to thrust, imprinting your insides with the shape of his dick, hitting that sensitive spot with almost boyish eagerness, but it still wasn’t enough to—

—You reached down to where his dick is splitting you apart and try to rub your clit, the hard nub aching for attention, but Zhongli pushed your hand away.

Allow me.

You almost whine—denial twisting your stomach into a tight knot, leaving your clit wanting, but he didn’t make you wait long. Deft fingers rubbed circles on your clit, grinding, until it swelled enough for him to pinch, hard.

Zhongli, please—

What did I say pet, he hummed and bit your earlobe in admonishment.

Xian-Xiansheng—

You were begging now, pleading—tears dripping from your face like fresh paint on canvas.

Please, xiansheng, please, I need it.

What do you need? He thrust forward, the head almost kissing your cervix.

Need…

Need what? Use your words, pretty pet. Another hard thrust, this time he touched your cervix. Half pain, half pleasure. Lines slowly starting to blur—was it because of his dick or your tears? You couldn’t tell.

You shook your head and fisted your hands in the collar of his suit, wrinkling the fine material as you dragged his face towards you to claim a kiss. Harsh and unyielding, a faint taste of iron between each ragged breath. Now you’d have to take two suits to the cleaners.

Vaguely, in the back of your mind, you’d forgotten how you even got into this situation in the first place. Something about lily bulb tea, alone time…and ruts…heats. Heat—were you the one in heat or was it him?

But it didn’t matter, all you knew was that:

Need to cum.

Zhongli’s pretty lips curled. And so you shall.

With one hand on your hips, he slammed his hips against yours in a punishing rhythm while his other hand battered your clit, thick fingers flicking the hard nub repeatedly until you felt nearly numb from the overstimulation. He felt you tense beneath him, hips rolling incessantly, your cunt gripping him so tightly he knew he was close.

Cum for me, he demanded, almost growling, give it to me.

And you obeyed—gave yourself over to the pleasure, moaning from the waves of pleasure washing over you.

Zhongli groaned as you contracted around him, each tight draw from your pussy taking him closer to his own release. Hips stuttering, he felt his fangs slip through, throbbing from the desire to taste you, bite you, mark you—

—Breed you.

It was messy, each time he pulled back and saw the amount of slick that coated his cock, his mind grew fuzzier, almost stupid. Zhongli couldn’t remember the last time he felt pussydrunk—

You bit the side of his neck as another orgasm ripped out of you, and this time Zhongli let himself go with a harsh growl, pulling out right as he cummed, thick ropes of sticky cum defiling your stomach. It was dizzyingly maddening: his cum moving with each shaky exhale, dripping onto your pussy, and Zhongli thought it was such a waste that it wasn’t inside you, filling you up. Some of it covered your clit—a glistening pearl. He fought every fiber of his being to not bend down and lick it. He didn’t like sweet things, but you were an exception.

“Did you learn a lot?” he finally asked after your breath had steadied a bit.

You were still coming down from your high, barely able to form a coherent sentence. “What?”

“I was teaching you,” he chuckled, voice husky. “Were you a good student? Paying attention?”

You thought about it for a moment. Looked at his disheveled appearance, his golden eyes, the wrinkles in his suit, and found it lacking.

“Not enough.”

“I am in agreement.”

Hutao narrowed her eyes. “You fucked him.”

“And what if I did? It’s not like you’ll fire me,” you replied lightly.

Hutao groaned. “I knew you wanted to fuck him, but I didn’t think you wanted to do it that badly. It’s not exactly good for my business, and you know he’ll stick to you for the rest of his season, right? That’s how it works for him. He doesn’t share.”

“Well good. Because I don’t either.” You wouldn’t have chosen him anyway if he liked to share. “But wait—what do you mean ‘not exactly good for your business?’”

The Wangsheng Director grinned at you. “Look at him: one of the most eligible bachelors in Liyue. Didn’t you notice that we have a large number of young clients? They come to Wangsheng because of him. I don’t care who Zhongli fucks as long as they give me their money—it keeps my beloved Wangsheng as the most profitable funeral parlor in Liyue.”

“Of course you would say that.” You laughed and thought about all the times your parents praised Hutao. “No wonder my parents sent me here to learn from you.”

Hutao winked. “Of course! Making money is the second best thing I’m good at.”

“What’s the first?”

“Death.”

uhhh i wrote this one about six-ish months ago too...been busy with zine work but hopefully when I'm done I can write more reader insert smut :') (also sorta tried a new style of dialogue lmao back when I wrote this)

Murata, also known as the God of War and the Lady of Fire, was a Pyro Archon and a member of The Seven who presided over Natlan.

先生 - xiānsheng. Has two main definitions: the first is teacher, the second is mister (Mr); gentleman; sir. Both suit Zhongli very well in this fic ;)

Dried lily bulb【百合】 is usually recommended in TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) clinics to treat coughs, dry throats and relieve heat. (But IRL, this doesn’t actually help with the horny feels LOL.) 

Zhongli as Morax has darker brown/amber skin tone on arms, so I chose to depict this in the fic as skin darkening when aroused. I also put a photo of something similar on an actual body. 

[takiberry]

ur opinion abt &Team legal line and their favorite place to YKYK😁

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ OT8 &TEAM’S FAVS PLACES TO CUM 🍙

warnings : includes members; yuma, jo, harua & taki. cum related topics, petnames, oppa kink for euijoo, smut just smut.

synopsis : no plot! just thoughts about the members’ fav areas to cum.

ᝰ.ᐟ do not proceed past “read more” if uncomfortable w/ smut regarding 0405z! 🦴

KOGA YUDAI : Chest

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ one thing about k is that he WILL cum on your chest, doesn’t matter if you’re a man, a woman, or non binary. he WILL cum on your chest. he loves how pretty it looks and definitely takes photos for him to keep on his phone. absolutely adores how you stare up at him after he does so, the thick substance on your chest could make him get hard again in an instant.

“keep looking at me with those pretty eyes again and this chest is gonna filled with more cum.”

MURATA FUMA : Inside

₊˚⊹♡ buff guy here has a breeding kink and you can’t tell me otherwise. he loves the warm feeling of his cum just pouring inside your walls, he’ll even fuck it back inside you if it leaks out. he also loves how full your insides look when he’s done, nothing satisfies him more than the fact he just fucked his babies in you.

“aw princess, i’m sure you can take more of my babies, no?”

WANG YIXIANG : Face

𖦹 ⋆° ✮ hear me out bruh. can you imagine how nicholas would stare down at you as your face is covered in his cum? bye, he just LOVES knowing that he has you wrapped around him like a cute dumb pup, what more can he ask? his pretty groans as he lets strings of his cum squirt onto your face, his thumb taking some of it and pushing it past your lips to make you taste. he’s gonna get hard again.

“so pretty, maybe the others should see, huh?”

BYUN EUIJOO : Face/Inside

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ 02z twinnin wbk! euijoo also loves having your face covered his cum, but he adores having his cum shoved deep in you more. we all know how he wanted to be a dad, he’s going to definitely use that to his advantage when you let him breed you. whether his cum is leaking out of you or it’s dripping down your chin, he going to get turned on over again and make you take more of his cum.

“ah-ah-ah, come on y/n, you can take oppa’s cum again, can’t you?”

NAKAKITA YUMA : Back

⋆˚🐾˖° wbk yuma loves backshots. he loves how extra pretty your back looks covered in his cum and how he can easily scoop some up with his pretty fingers and fuck it inside you. his eyes would darken with so much lust again as he admires the work he left on your pretty back after he’s done fucking your brains out.

“so pretty, might have to go another round, hm kitty?”

ASAKURA JO : Mouth

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ our beloved introvert here, he already loves how well you can take his cock when blowing him but it drives him nuts when he sees your mouth filled with his own semen, you have no idea how much he would give to see you always staring up at him as it drips down your chin after you blow him off. his large thumb gently wiping away the excess or gently shoving it back into your mouth.

“nothing more i’d ask for than for your mouth to be filled.”

SHIGETA HARUA : Inside

₊˚⊹ ᰔ unexpected tbh but harua LOVES cumming inside you. he doesn’t care about cumming elsewhere but in you, he would even beg you sometimes to let him cum inside when his mind is going blank from how much he’s been fucking you absolutely stupid, you leak some of it out? oh he’s gonna push his cock back in and fuck it right back inside.

“nuh-uh.. you can’t let me drip out like that , pretty.”

TAKAYMA RIKI : Back

⋆˚✿˖° YUP TAKI LOVES BACKSHOTS YUP. he’s thrilled when you let him give you backshots, he finds it the most hottest thing on earth, and since he loves fucking you from behind as well, it checks out for him. he would take photos to beat his cock too when he’s in japan or at practice, etc. the look of his cum on your back gives him a boost in ego knowing he has you to himself.

“mm, nobody else is going to ever have you like this, ‘cause you’re mine.”

જ⁀➴ tini notez : haii! i hope this is what you meant, i was a tad confused on how you wanted this but i tried my best to incorporate their actual personalities into this as well as my own thoughts ofc! 🍚

[dolliuv]

breeding w/ ot9 &team | headcanons

ᝰ.ᐟ warning! this post contains smut consisting the members: yuma, jo, harua, taki, and maki. if you are uncomfortable w/ smut with said members, i suggest not reading past “read more” , i will not be responsible for your discomfort if you still continue to read past that point.

| contains : senpai/oppa kinks, size kinks ( for majority members ), breeding, choking kink, degradation/praising, mean doms ( for certain members ), overstimulation

| dynamics : dom! ot9 teamies x reader

KOGA YUDAI

yudai is big on breeding, he loves it so much. being able to fill you to the brim, making you shake from your 5th orgasm as his cock fills your pretty little hole up with his hot seed. he’ll always tell you how much he’ll let his cum fill you up until you’re begging. yudai is absolutely a breeding kink man!!

“come on, princess, i know you can take more.”

MURATA FUMA

oh ‘y , how fuma is also a fellow sucker of breeding. he likes to think of it as his way of ‘making love’ , when really he’s fucking you nearly braindead simply because he wants to cum in you as much as he can, he gets off on the thought of his babies in you.

“how cute.”

WANG YIXIANG

nicholas is either fucking his cum into you or cumming on your boobs, most case scenario, he’s breeding you.. alot. like until you’re crying begging him to stop, you let him breed you once and now he can’t stop, he will literally beg sometimes to let him breed you.

“take what i’m giving or you can just pleasure yourself.”

BYUN EUIJOO

euijoo’s always wanted to be a father :( , so when you’re letting him breed your cunt like whore, he enjoys it so bad, his hands on your hips to keep you still as he’s fucking his cum back into you relentlessly, he’s gonna make it known he loves breeding you tbh

“oh? can’t take more of oppa’s cum,huh?”

૮ ․ ․ ྀིა🦴 if you proceed past this point, you are responsible for your own feelings, not me!

NAKAKITA YUMA

yuma�� that little FUCK. he will ABSOLUTELY breed you no hesitation, like no condom? oh alright, he’ll just use you as his personal cum dump to fuck you full of his kids, and that stupid smirk on his face would be there

“just take it, i know you can, kitty.”

ASAKURA JO

jo, see now he’s a wild card, he either would be fucking the shit out of you and breeding you to the brim ORRR he’s making love to you but yet STILL breeding you to the brim. he’s always up for either way, he just loves taking photos of your cunt being filled with him.

“stay still, i need a photo to look at so i can draw it later.”

SHIGETA HARUA

harua would definitely do it if you begged, he’s into that shit, he wants you to beg him to fill you up with his babies and he’ll do it just as you asked. if i’m being honest he’d be a guy into the slightly rougher sex tbh.

“feels so good, hm?”

TAKAYMA RIKI

LITTLE SHIT. ahem, i mean taki. yeah he’s breeding you full and making sure that stays in your cunt, whether he uses a plug or just your panties, he loves how pretty you look just filled with his cum, knowing it’s only him to fill you up with his babies, mayhaps a tiny size kink too …

“yeah? you like when i fuck my cum right back in you?”

HIROTA MAUS RIKI

little shit pt 3, i mean maki :3, ahhh he has a size kink and nobody can tell me otherwise. he’d so be turned on by how much smaller ( height wise btw ) you are compared to him, he’s gonna definitely breed the fuck outta you, making sure you’re in tears by the end of it.

“you can take more, baby, don’t be whiny now.”

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ 📝 : みなさん、こんにちは！ 最近遅くてごめんなさい！ もうすぐ高速アップロードに戻ります。 | Hello everyone, Hope you all are enjoying my posts! Sorry for being so slow lately! I'll be back to fast uploads soon.

[luminouslune]

post break up voice mails..

Pairing: &team x reader

Genre: angst

A/N: This is not my original idea

Warnings: cursing!!

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

I didn't deserve that. You knew it too..

Leave your message after the tone.

Beeeep

Koga Yudai (K)

"Y/n? Please pick up.. I know I fucked up. Just please come back home so I can make this right between us. It can't end like this... It just can't. I can't imagine my life without you..I'm just so, so sorry. Call me back yeah..? I love you..

Murata Fuma

You weren't joking....you really didn't come back. Fuck-Y/n, I'm sorry okay? You only left a couple of days ago and I already feel like I'm going insane.. I just-I...I never should've said those things to you. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry.

Byun Euijoo (EJ)

I walked by our favorite cafe today and I couldn't help but think of you... what went wrong between us..? Y-you just left so suddenly... you left me without an explanation and it isn't fair... I deserve an explanation don't I...? Please Y/n..

Wang Yixiang (Nicho)

I haven't been able to sleep without you Y/n. I... I didn't expect to get this damn attached to you. Yet here I am.. You're my only motivation, without you it's like.. I'm doing all of this for nothing.. for nobody. I need you back, please come back..

Nakakita Yuma

Love? Y/n..? I don't know how to express to you how truely sorry I am... I've been such a terrible boyfriend to you..I-I should've made time for you, I should've tried harder to try to spend my nights with you.. and I didn't...l'll do better. I promise..

Asakura Jo

I saw you walking with someone else today... you looked so happy.. and-I just, its hard to see you so happy without me there. Is that... selfish.. ? I miss you so much..It's quiet without us messing around all the time.. even the members think it's weird how silent it is around here now...

Shigeta Harua

Y/n....? We don't have to talk about it.. just please tell me you're okay.. I'm so worried about you.. have you been eating well..? Just-please take care of yourself for me please.. dont make me worry... take care Y/n okay...?

Takayma Riki (Taki)

Please Y/n...i know it's been a while. I should've apologized a long time ago.. I'm sorry. I was just being stubborn. I should've realized before that this was my fault. I shouldn't have even blamed any of it on you. You deserve so much better..

Hirota Riki (Maki)

Everytime I walk into my room it still smells like your perfume.. is there still time to make this right N/n..? I miss you so much it hurts.. I miss your laugh, I miss your voice, your smile.. Please let me make this right, one more shot please... sleep well okay..?

©luminouslune

[imnotsimpingyouare]

ENAMORED (II)

Modern Hantengu clones X Reader

Featuring:

"Pissed Cubicle Worker" Sekido

"Depressed Programmer" Aizetsu

"That Guy in the Alley" Karaku

"Unfunny YouTube Prankster" Urogi

"Disappointed Grandpa" Hantengu

"Delinquent Middle Schooler" Zohakuten

"Possibly a Criminal" Akaza

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

You will NOT be shipped with Zohakuten or Hantengu because:

A.) One is an old man

B.) One is a young boy

Ty for your time 😌

fem!Y/N goes for her last job with Murata's Service Emporium 😢 but gets an interesting offer due to her *OUTSTANDING* work.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Hantengu.

You've heard of that household. They order some sort of cleaning service every month or so. Only, it's never been you that has gone before, so how exactly do you know about their service requests?

BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY'RE FUCKING INSANE.

Some of the other employees have literally returned from the job crying.

WHICH INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO TERRY THE GARDENER! A TALL, BUFF MAN!

WHAT DEMON IN THAT HOUSE IS MAKING A GROWN MAN CRY LIKE THAT? WHY DOES YOUR BOSS HATE YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CURL UP IN A BALL AND FOSSILIZE.

You sigh. A big sigh. A really, really long sigh.

If you had the heart to, you would've quit the moment your boss revealed he was going to fire you, only.. you knew it was like him to try and withhold your paycheck for the week if you did. Obviously, he can't do that if you've done your job on schedule for any amount of time, but you're not gonna jump through flaming hoops just to stick it to the guy.

Easier to just get this over with.

You grab your supplies and load your car.

Yes, they make you use your own transport for this job. No, they don't pay for gas.

Maybe losing this job won't be so bad after all.

Starting up the map on your phone, you type in the adress of this demon house and get ready to be very fucking miserable for however long you spend there.

The clouds are grey this morning, as they are every morning, but this morning is different. Maybe it's because you fell down two flights of stairs. Maybe it's because you held some handsome guy's hand this morning when he helped you up. Maybe it's because you literally just got fired like 10 minutes ago. But something is different.

○○○○○

Unbeknownst to you, in the opposite lane of traffic, Sekido is screaming at the cars infront of him.

Nevermind, it's not just Sekido. In some strange sort of... brotherly bonding ritual, both Sekido and Zohakuten are screaming at the car infront of them (which is going the speed limit).

"WHY WON'T YOU PRESS YOUR DAMN GAS? THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT HERE WITH JOBS AND SHITHEADS WITH SCHOOL! 20 ABOVE THE LIMIT NEVER KILLED ANYBODY!"

"...Sekido, I think 20 above the limit has killed people. BUT THOSE PEOPLE WERE GOING TOO DAMN SLOW!"

Sekido's grey minivan pulled up to the school. Zohakuten grabbed his bag and opened the door, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"...Zohakuten."

Red eyes met his, and he felt slightly uncomfortable at how calm Sekido was managing to be.

"....what."

"....one day."

"wha–"

"One day without doing some stupid shit to get sent home or to the principal's office. If you do, I'll... I don't fucking know, have the gods come down and kiss you on the nose one by one. Just be good. Ok?" He said, almost in a... defeated tone.

Zohakuten, for a moment, was dumbfounded. Had Aizetsu taken over Sekido's body? Was this some sort or trick? Who did he think he was? It's not his fault he'll never use this crap again. Nor is it his fault that some of the kids are little shitheads.

Instead of saying all this, out of respect for Sekido's effort to be *nice*

(Literally, beads of sweat were beginning to form on Sekido's face, and he looked constipated)

....he nodded.

"Okay. I want ice cream after school."

And shut the car door.

Sekido was left by himself, face immediately breaking back into that scowl he wore so well.

"Fucking ice cream. I might as well get him a horse and a spaceship while I'm servicing His Majesty. Seriously, how hard is it not to throw desks?"

○○○○○

Your car stopped infront of a mansion.

Maybe not a mansion, but.. it was something.

A three story house with 2 vehicles in front (AND A MOTORCYCLE?). However, the only decorations in front were a little knome and a set of windchimes. You could also faintly hear "Barbie Girl" playing from somewhere in the home.

At the very least, it was... a flattering home. The outside didn't look too bad, but you were at least slightly concerned about the inside.

You knocked on the door, cleaning supplies in hand.

"Murata's Service Emporium!"

The door creaked open slightly, before opening to reveal a rather handsome, dark-skinned man in nothing but a towel and.... a face mask and hair curlers.

His eyes were a deep emerald green, a complete contrast from his skin that you were HERE FOR.

He looked you up and down, before turning his attention back into the house. "Aizetsu! Your escort is here!"

Immediately your face turned red. "Wha- did you not hear what I said when I knocked!?"

He raised a brow at you.

"Service Emporium?"

Oh.

That actually sounds pretty bad when taken out of context.

"...okay, but why would I be holding all of these cleaning supplies?"

He looked down at you again.

"I don't know what freaky stuff Aizetsu's into, okay? Are you coming in or not?" He huffed.

You reluctantly waddled in and set your things down.

Oh my.

It was a disaster.

The dishes were piled sky-high, the floor SEVERELY UN-VACUUMED... you had work to do.

Another man, almost identical to the one who opened the door, approached you in a rush. His eyes, though, were blue, and significantly more lifeless than the guy before him.

"I'm sorry.. I am Aizetsu. As you can see, our house is a disaster... sorry."

And he walked away.

THAT WAS ALL HE HAD TO SAY?

WAS HE EVEN GOING TO PAY YOU?

HE'S JUST GONNA LEAVE?

You were starting to understand the struggle.

○○○○○

The camera lens was clean. The audio was crisp. In his browser "solt jasz musuc backgriund" was playing.

Everything was perfect.

And now, out of his room once again, was the legendary, the one and only, greatest failed theater kid of all time..

Urogi!

And he was ready. Ready to bamboozle this busy, strangely attractive woman that wandered her way into his home. Ready. But she wasn't.

Which is what made it good content.

And good content -> motorcycle upgrades.

Which he wanted.

Very badly.

So there he was, creeping up behind you, four cans of silly string in one hand, a camera in the other.

You, on the other hand, were almost finished up here. You cleaned in and out, over and under, anywhere you could. The dishes were dried and put away, and everything was soon to be in order. The only task you had left was to sweep the kitchen. A relatively easy job. After that, you could get out of here, and... you didn't have a job to go to.

Hadn't thought of that in a while.

But there wasn't any time to think about it when you heard something being set on the counter behind you. You turned around, only to be met with a man leaping at you.

Naturally, you dodged out of the way, dropping the broom and hooking your attacker around the neck, locking him in a chokehold. All was well until a flurry of colors came flying toward you into your hair and eyes.

Immediately you were overpowered, your key sense being obstructed. You were pushed over near the sofa, being sprayed relentlessly with some sort of squishy string-like material.

You were quick to recover, and reached up to what you assumed to be the sofa, taking off one of the pillows and swinging wildly at your attacker. Terrifying laughter was heard from above you, and you overturned them until you had them in prime suffocating position. Moments into your retaliation, you pulled some of the strange material off of your face, only to see the face of both people you met earlier. Except this one had yellow eyes.

You paused in your struggle with him, both of you huffing and puffing like you were about to blow someone's house away.

He stared up at you, and you stared down at him, before your gaze flickered up to the counter, only to see a camera placed there and aimed directly at the two of you.

Footsteps distracted you from this realization.

"Aizetsu? Your escort got loose. I think she got confused. Did you not tell her about being a quad?" It was the green-eyed man, back with his bunny slippers and some actual clothes, but no hair curlers or face masks.

"IM NOT A PROSTITUTE!" You snapped at him, smacking the man under you again with the pillow for good measure.

"Why the hell is there a woman on top of Urogi? Why are you just watching, Karaku? You sick fuck.."

Another voice was heard, deeper and more gruff than the rest. You looked up, and saw another man identical to all three of the others! Unlike his counterparts, this one had blood-red eyes.

"What's going on? Are you all siblings?" You said, before mentally face-pamling. Of course they're all siblings. What else would they be?

"Of course we're siblings. What else would we be? Idiot." The red-eyed man growled, before hanging his keys and stomping off to who knows where.

The man under you tapped on your forehead.

"...can I get up?"

You rolled your eyes at him, delivering another smack with the pillow before getting off of him. "You don't just sneak up on some unsuspecting person like that!" You scolded, but he didn't listen. He was already busy fiddling with his camera.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, mumbling a slew of curses before going to pick up the broom.

"So clean, so clean! It looks like this house is brand new! Where are they? The cleaner? Where are they?" A labored, weak voice sounded from the hallway. An old man appeared, and hobbled toward you. You tried backing away, but it was no use, as he grabbed your face to examine you.

"Lovely girl, lovely girl! Cleaned up everything perfectly! You're the angel who cleans up my grandsons' mess every month, are you? Lovely girl!" His voice was trembling, as were his hands.

He must be talking about the company. But before you have time to explain, he cuts you off.

"I wish to hire you, lovely girl! Lovely girl! You can live in my home, in the spare room! You can clean up and teach my grandsons how to behave! Will you? Don't leave an old man like me helpless. Their mother isn't around to teach them to behave, will you? Lovely girl?"

Your eyes widened at the offer. "..hire? Like, for money?"

The old man laughed. Well, he tried, but it came out as a cough. "For housing? Food? Anything you'd like?"

"....and for money?"

"...yes, I'll pay you weekly."

You needed time to recollect your thoughts! Living here, with unknown people? Cleaning! More cleaning!

But at least you'd have a roof over your head, and food, and 'whatever you'd like' whatever that was. And you'd even have your own money on the side. Maybe you could save for a house? To go back to school?

At that point, only Karaku and the old man were left in the room, eyes trained on you. Karaku's lips broke into a smile. He knew what your answer was going to be.

"..I'll do it."

[nijigasakilove]

Nah man what the fuck was this episode. Hard to watch at times

Scene of Reiko scurrying like a spider up the wall is some nightmare fuel.

First of all how you gonna have someone fuck your husband and then get mad when he falls in love with her lmao. You clearly weren’t doing something right 🤷🏾‍♂️ could’ve just adopted if you wanted a kid or gone to an actual surrogate. If surrogates aren’t around in this time period, still adoption is better than this especially if you’re insecure

But then that’s not the craziest thing. Did sis just give birth to a damn towel ?? Took the naby that looked most like she and her husband and left metry and the other boys in there 🤦🏽‍♂️ it’s a good thing migi and dali turned out to be geniuses and could open the door

People gotta stop approaching Eji when he’s on the edge of something. That’s two moms he’s pushed off the edge now. No idea how she survived that fall without cerebral haemorrhaging , guess all that evil fuels her

Murata introducing himself as Karen’s boyfriend had me dead “I didn’t know this” “well now you do” she’s funny af

People also have to stop going in lockable rooms with Reiko.. playing dead and then locking your whole family in there man this bitch has to DIE

[gofancyninjaworld]

just peopling

I don't think Murata knows what he does for me when he draws characters showing their more unguarded, vulnerable moments. And I don't mean when they're undergoing a profound emotional experience. Just the mundane, everyday activities.

It's not easy to depict mundanity in a story: real estate is precious, and Everything Has To Mean Something. So Murata finding space both within and around the chapters to ground the characters as people despite their abilities is precious.

Something that comes to mind is Scott McCloud's comment in his excellent book 'Understanding Comics', where he notes that depicting a superhero going to the bathroom is funny as we don't see these characters as human and it breaks our immersion. In One-Punch Man, the characters may be incredible and in a fantastic setting, but ONE and Murata have pulled off their also being so human there's nothing remarkable about them eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom, or having a recycling schedule on the wall. It's not easy to do.

ONE does get mileage out of making superhumans doing ordinary things hilarious, but he does it by making the context funny. Sure, Sonic on the shitter is funny, but it's not funny because he's an impossible ninja having a shit as if he were human. We accept his humanity. It's why he's crapping his guts out that's hilarious: there's both the schadenfreude of seeing him hoisted by his own petard and the relief that because he's screwed up, he will stay human. Sure, Genos using his arm cannon to dry the dishes is funny, but not because he's a combat cyborg that probably costs the same as a fighter jet. He and Saitama ate. Of course the dishes need doing. It's that he's abusing a million-dollar piece of equipment to do something ordinary that's hilarious -- like an engineer abusing a high-powered laser to heat coffee [1].

Often, the context isn't funny for the sake of being funny. Genos cleaning the house? Not funny. Genos ignoring the sounds of battle outside because he can't bring himself to leave the house until he's cleaned up all traces of the previous night's party? Hilarious. However, it's not just funny: it's the setup for us seeing later the pots and bowls set out as the apartment is destroyed, all ready to start dinner as soon as Saitama comes back. He's prepared for a meal that neither will ever eat. We carry out our routines as if life will never change, even though we're aware it can be cut short at any time and in ways we cannot anticipate, and no amount of power or privilege changes that. In the meantime, we live.

Why do they go so far as to humanize the characters? Other than it being nice to see, it also allows the story to land points that otherwise couldn't work. Points such as everything takes time, effort, and attention and no one can do everything, but must needs choose, and these choices have consequences. That we need others to be human. That even the best relationships take work. That fulfilling yourself as a human being is a work in progress. That the idea of there being a 'thing' or 'state' that will make one happy is nonsense. That we can go too far. That we don't deserve second chances, but no one's counting.

Being human is complicated and frustrating and boring but oh so worth it. That's a big point that ONE wants to get across. And he can't do that if the very idea of a character needing the bathroom is hilarious.

[1] Obligatory health warning: do not fuck with lasers. A laser capable of warming your coffee in a useful time is both invisible and more likely to set you on fire than give you a warm beverage.

[byunejoo]

&TEAM’S HYUNGS…AS CAMBOYS

contents. mentions of cam shows, sexual activity for the camera, tipping money, sex work, boys wearing feminine clothes and underwear

(thank you to my friends who let me bounce ideas and helped me with some things. cough cough lynn helping me with nicholas and k hehe. y’all are the best. love u mwah.)

✸ KOGA YUDAI AS… the flirt

this man knows he’s attractive, and he likes to show off a lot. k is such a tease, too. the type to sit in his shirt and a pair of sweatpants, stroking himself over them, giving the worst (see: hottest) set of “fuck me eyes” to the camera. not afraid to talk, flirting as if he were speaking directly to you. lots of seductive winking, lip biting, blowing kisses and sticking his tongue out. for sure a moaner when it feels good. (also, he’s got a pretty dick and loves to show it off.)

✸ MURATA FUMA AS… the interaction king

listen, he’s got a sexy voice and he knows it. he always starts his streams off by just talking. he talks about his day, reads some comments, and smoothly transitions into the more spicy things. if k wasn’t the #1 y/n enabler, fuma would be. he keeps track of who’s tipping him, would moan out their names, smiling (see: smirking) when he hears the chime sound go off again, meaning they’ve tipped him more. he tends to remain fairly calm and collected, talking throughout his entire show. his shows are definitely for the people with a voice kink. (he also has a drool-worthy cock.)

✸ NICHOLAS WANG AS… the flirt pt. 2

he’s a lot more talkative and almost greasy with his flirting. lots of “yeah, you like that?” no matter what he’s doing. he sticks out his tongue a lot, too. he’s also a huge people pleaser. he reads a lot of comments and does requests, especially for his top tippers. the only thing he’s found so far that he won’t do is feet stuff, i think. but, say, you want him to wear cat ears and a tail plug? sure, he can do that. you want him to take on a more dominant role? that’s fine! he’s very versatile and will do most things asked of him, but he’ll flirt very hard while doing them.

✸ BYUN EUIJOO AS… the shy one

when he first starts doing cam shows, he’s honestly quite nervous and it takes a lot of warming up to be able to take his clothes off. and even then, he’s bite his lips to hold back his reactions and cover his face with his hand when he cums (a habit which he still has now that he’s more comfy doing shows). he’s also the biggest people pleaser of the four of them, and would do every request. even if that means wearing the cutest, most feminine panties that his cock would be bulging out of and stockings. his face would be so red when lifting his shirt to give a peek, but it wouldn’t take long to notice the wet spot from where he’s leaking precum already.

[garoumylove]

I know there will be several talented people doing write ups on this but I just want to add my own two cents as well because this got me emotional.

The reason I write Garou fanfics so much is because I find his psyche absolutely fascinating and close to my heart. He presents with such anger and sassy cockiness while dealing with so much inner turmoil. And most of the time we don't get to see that inner turmoil but every once in a while ONE/Murata will lift that veil through one panel or a piece of dialogue and we get a glimpse of the troubled young man and all those painful feelings inside. And it's that pain, inner conflict, the vulnerability he guards so closely that I love to explore and that makes me fall for him over and over again.

This panel is one of those. As I've mentioned a while ago, I'm not a fan of the way Garou has been characterised in the manga since he reappeared on the surface at the end of the MA arc and especially not a fan of his characterisation post MA arc. This, however, is the Garou that I love. The troubled young man who pushes his way through life with a heady mix of bravado and stoicism. And then we get this.

"I'd love to show you how 'easy' it would be...' accompanied by a somewhat gruesome inverted panel with blood splatter. To me, this is the first time Garou is letting out his pain and frustration at his loss with Saitama. His ideology, while simplistic, got him through a tough childhood and adolescence. He clung to that goal and shed an exorbitant amount of blood and sweat over it only to discover it was never going to be. The loss of that would be gut wrenching. And finally here we get him giving us a glimpse of that raging pain. Of that vulnerability.

But what gets me even more is the next line "You worthless hunk of junk that can't even bleed or feel pain". This is one of the most obvious and clear times that Garou is coming face to face with his own pain. To me, it's like he's finally admitting that he is in pain. Not physical pain, but just this existential pain that he finds himself sometimes drowning in and doesn't know what to do with.

And then next panel he just goes right back to work with the older guys looking after him which I find so fucking sweet and adorable, telling the lad to put everything down and stop working.

At this point I see Garou starting to deal with all that backlog of pain and trauma. He is not in it all the time but he allows it to come to the surface, holding it, feeling it and then he goes back to this new low-key life. This isn't something he is going to process in one go. This will be an ongoing process. Diving head first into that chaos, those demons in his head, into everything that hurts and unravelling it a little at a time before swimming back to shore and going on with his life.

It's a process that I think is a lot more poignant and powerful than the happy-go-lucky de-fanged puppy characterisation we currently (but didn't used to) get in the manga. The Garou we get in the webcomic still has those fangs, but he lets himself be more than that little by little. One day, he will be at peace with who he really is and every time I think about it, I kinda want to tear up.

[alizalayne]

books of year ‘23, but only the ones that weren’t rereads and that I had something to say about. Text is written out below the cut. Please recommend books to me!!

Scales and Sensibility by Stephanie Burgis

when i saw this being recommended to me on scribd i sent it to my friends along with the word YESSSSSSSSS about 80 times. This has palpable Diana Wynne Jones insanity which is very exciting to me. The romantic lead is so boring but he’s not important; what’s important is the main character’s batshit physical transformation and its consequences. This book also triggered a personal ephiphany that i’d been setting myself up for for years, which is a little bit happenstance but I’m glad it happened while listening to this as an audiobook on a hike.

___

Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura

I’ve read a few books with a similar tone and goals but most of them do not feel as sincere, or they get preachy in a way this does not. I am a massive sucker for narratives about going and coming back to magical worlds (pre-isekai boom), like coville’s unicorn chronicles or barker’s abarat. they’re the most effective to me when they do what this is doing: telling an empathetic human story. One thing I really appreciate about this book as a mental illness narrative for younger people is its willingness to tackle the idea that someone’s terrified inner voice can be incorrect, or it can reflect reality accurately— some people do have a reason to be excessively scared. I think there’s a tendency when tackling this concept, especially for child readers, to tell them that their anxieties are silly and illogical, that of course no one is trying to hurt them. But that’s not always true. I appreciate that this story is able to question the main character’s assumptions about other people’s evil intentions while not questioning that her feeling of fear is real, while simultaneously acknowledging that similar pain is felt by kids going through abuse. I think I would have preferred a smaller cast or a longer book with more exploration of the other kids.

___

Earthlings: A Novel by Sayaka Murata

another very empathetic mental illness book, but much more disturbing. the main character’s worldview is alluring because the narrative paints reality in such a bleak way. If it didn’t force a sense of perspective on you, it could be a document that starts a cult. It’s very accurate to some experiences that I have had and things i have heard people say while in dangerous situations that involve religious behavior.

It’s very difficult to challenge the type of thinking this explores because each brick that builds a wall between someone’s mind and the rest of reality can seem like a reasonable brick. but when you look at the whole wall you can’t understand how such small and normal things as bricks could seal someone up inside and swallow them. This does a good job of showing you its challenge without being cruel. I’m glad I read it.

___

What Once Was Mine: A Twisted Tale by Elizabeth J. Braswell

official goth retelling of disney’s tangled, I had to see what was going on in there but it was pretty boring, worth the $0 price of library admission for rapunzel having evil moon hair that fucking kills you

___

Cutting Teeth by Chandler Baker

NO EXPLANATION FOR WHY THE TODDLERS STARTED TO CRAVE BLOOD. WAS HOPING DRACULA WAS BURIED UNDER THE PRESCHOOL BUT NOBODY LETS ME HAVE ANYTHING AROUND HERE

___

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

I’d never read this before. Soooooo fun

fucking GET HIMMMMMM GIRLLLLL YESSSSSSSS!!!!! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

___

Declamation on the Nobility and Preeminence of the Female Sex by Henricus Cornelius Agrippa, edited by Albert Rabil Jr. 2007 edition

I cannot recommend this text enough if you are insane like me in pain like me (english literature major). Imagine that you are the princess of Austria and you’re bored of mummifying your husband’s heart and you decide to buy the man who would become arguably the world’s most famous wizard. this happened in real life. And what he decided to do was kiss her ass with his entire mouth. To that end, he wrote a torturously funny ted talk about how god made women better than men. Here are some reasons: women don’t drown in water because they’re fatter than men, but when women DO drown they do it face down so no one will see their boobs. Menstrual blood cures epilepsy and depression and can extinguish fires (????). all eagles are female (?????) and god created women last so he had tons of practice by then. This is the holy grail of bitchy footnotes. So many of these are just “he made this up”. It’s so fun!! And it’s helpful to remember that people have always been making shit up.

___

honorable mention: I read through the letters of Saint Hildegard of Bingen and I have to recommend this to everyone alive. I think she was in lesbian love so hard that that’s why she she wrote that shitty letter to the pope. but what do i know. she is also about 80% of the reason we know anything of what medieval medical knowledge was among women in europe. She also documented a ton of natural science.

___

The Crone Wars by Lydia M. Hawke

Now i have to admit i didn’t read all these. I did read the first one but this author’s priorities just don’t really align with mine, since these are ultimately straight romance novels. However, I wanted to show how long the series goes and what the titles are because I think they’re really fun. It was very cool to see what YA sensibilities look like with a 60 year old protagonist. This main character really reminded me of Usagi from Sailor Moon, which as a massive freak about sailor moon is not something I give out lightly, and I kept imagining events from this book as drawn by Riyoko Ikeda. After spending a little time with it, the manga panels just sort of happened in my mind and i recommend the experience. I do still want to draw some scenes from it sometime.

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

[takiberry]

OT8 &TEAM KINKS ^__^

🐙: this post contains smut thoughts of: Yuma, Jo, Harua, & Taki! please refrain from reading theirs if you feel uncomfortable abt it!

warnings: it says in the title what it is. 😊

KOGA YUDAI ( K ):

- Daddy Kink: do i even need to explain this..

- Manhandling: He’s a strong buff man 1/2 , i bet he would love being able to throw you around and have his way with you.

- Size Kink: This is pretty self explanatory, he’s huge.

MURATA FUMA:

- Manhandling pt2: What can I say other than how much he loves showing off how strong he is and his muscles, he loves how you grip his biceps while he rams his cock into you

- Bulge Kink: He has a FAAAAAT cock and you can’t tell me otherwise, he would love the sight of the outline of his cock in your tummy :(

- Daddy Kink pt2: again self explanatory…

WANG YIXIANG ( NICHOLAS ):

- Daddy Kink pt3: He just loves being called Daddy what can i say 🤷‍♀️

- Size Kink: He’s a giant too, no doubt he would love how small you’d look being fucked under him <33

- Choking: He has NICEE hands, they’re so pretty, he would love choking you tbh

BYUN EUIJOO ( EJ ):

- Oppa Kink: This isnt ‘cs he’s korean, i swear, i genuinely think he would LOVE being called oppa, no matter if you’re younger or older

- Hair Pulling: He doesn’t care if you have long hair or short hair, he WILL pull.

- Degrading & Praising: His voice is literally sweet like honey, do you realize how much hotter it would be if he starts degrading you but yet praising you at the same time??/?/?/

NAKAKITA YUMA:

- Public Sex: He has a high sex drive and you can’t tell me otherwise 😊

- Restraints ( Giving ): He loves having his way with you, he will use anything to tie you up with like shirts, ties, belts, etc.

- Manhandle: He is one rough man, do you see how quickly he starts gettin all fuckin naggy?

ASAKURA JO:

- Size Kink: I just know he has one, he’s a literal giant if not a fucking titan, he loves being in control and the size kink sets it off for him

- Bulge Kink: He has a big cock, thats it.

- Senpai Kink: Not because he’s japanese, he would love hearing your voice calling him senpai.

SHIGETA HARUA:

- Senpai Kink: He feels a sense of power and dominance when you call him senpai.

- Oral Fixation ( Giving ): He LOVES eating you out, absolutely, 100%. He will overstimulate you.

- Restraints ( Giving ): He wants to have his way with you too, so he will be just like Yuma and use anything to tie you up

TAKAYMA RIKI ( TAKI ):

- Oppa Kink: Something about it to him, he loves how it sounds when it slips your lips.

- Rough Sex: He’s mean as fuck, idc what you say, he will fuck you until you’re SOBBINGGG

- Degrading: Again, he’s def a meanie in bed, like he’s a menace. His degrading is CRAZY.

[theomnicode]

Emotional loneliness & the subconscious

One thing we must never forget with Genos.

He will always pay back with dividends whatever action has been taken against him. Be it with hatred, revenge or with his utmost loyalty, support and love.

Maksaa kalavelat takaisin potut pottuina.

(Potut means potatoes, potut pottuina means with equal measure) (Kala means fish, velat means debt, kalavelka means grudge borne from unfair treatment)

So because Saitama lovebombed Genos with the divine power core, Genos will pay it back hundredfold. He's just that kind of guy, prone to extremes.

Just surely as the moon orbits around the earth, does the earth orbit around the sun, it's the universal law that Genos cares for Saitama. You'd have to erase his personality and himself entirely for this to not be true. And man, do the forces that be, try to do exactly that. It's like he can tip the scales of justice in his favour, a balance breaker in this regard.

So, the time to perform is night because OPM God is practically breathing down on everyone's necks and surveying the battlefield from below and above this time around and he wants to wring out some riffraff.

There is very much plenty hints, the chapters are throwing an overabundance of clues around. The amount of subliminal hints, metaphors, allegories, idioms, visual cues, wordplay, etc. is extremely staggering and it's done on purpose to appeal on subconscious level. Murata-sensei and ONE throwing all eggs into the basket for a homerun.

I feel like I'm constantly becoming big brained by looking at new chapters and making all these possible connections with my brain and trying to predict future outcomes lol.

It's like blaring warning sirens if you're suddenly aware of it.

There are many things one can start to predict in OPM. So OPM God can play chessmaster with everyone's emotions as the puppet master he is and get desired results.

But there is...one person that is completely utterly unpredictable...and that person is Genos. Nobody can completely understand Genos and his line of thinking.

Nobody knows what the fuck Genos is doing right now, for instance. We can only make educated guesses.

Except for one thing: he can't turn away from justice. Because he loves people too much. An emotional vulnerability that can and will be exploited. One he is not personally logically seeing.

Large amount of monsters are being released in an area with lots of civilians and being actually called on duty? Trust Genos to race to the scene, no matter what.

And in this it is also a race against time, who can seal the deal with who first. Who can emotionally connect with who first with their emotional loneliness.

Because everyone in this small area, are probably Super Empaths, also known as Heyoka Empath and emotionally lonely in their own ways. They keenly feel when others feel and bleed when others bleed and they can't turn this off. Emotional wounds bleed heavily.

And once you make a deal with OPM God, the God of Death or enroach upon his territory within the preternatural spiritualism, you aren't running away that easily. 4 people in the area are practically glowing with divine power.

What it means is becoming immortal and spending the eternity with this guy. Dead or alive. Sorry Future Garou, your sacrifice was most valiant. OPM God rewrote the script for that, because he did not want Saitama to give Garou therapy and emotionally connect via that, since Garou would've ended up just ranting about everything and confessing everything.

(Also denotes quite a bit about that there will be rivalries between individuals) (Cough death note) (Nice Ninja village leader and Blast ref here)

Like a jealous lover, it wants all the pieces to himself. Probably for some eternity in torture kind of thing. Oh and Genos and Bang have to die, naturally.

So yea, the dimple reference would match, just wants some company because it's alone in the dark...but actually horrifying af. Eternity in pure despair ay...

(I'm so sorry Homeless Emperor, Orochi...)

There is one thing that Saitama is vulnerable to, it's his emotional loneliness. Trying to become a hero to find some kind of intimate emotional connection with a person with similar values.

A heart displaced is a heart swayed.

The choice Genos can make where he chooses to place his heart into, will make it complete or shred it to pieces. The twilight zone between night and new dawn of day is still up. In the front is the sun of the new horizons and behind...the shadow of the looming death, The torii gate.

This race is also portrayed in the OPM ED1.

A race for Genos to connect with Saitama's heart first with his love, before anyone else does and doing so would protect him as well, because they are safeguards to each other's hearts. Monsters outside and inside exploit the desire for kindness, compassion, love and other emotions and when the heart is full, that's when the monsters can no longer find footing.

In short, Genos has to show that he absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, loves him whole-heartedly and confess. So Saitama can show his own vulnerability, his weaknesses like his suicidal ideation and make him strong enough to withstand emotional manipulation and exploitation that OPM God will do, is doing, to him. And in turn, his heart will also find it's home in Genos.

Cuz, Saitama is playing chicken with his own emotional blind spots. They will soon catch up to him and everyone else. Insecurities, unreliability, immaturity, self-confidence, anger, feeling weak...maybe even rebirth.

Saitama just does not have the guts to confess yet himself, he's far from certain about what he actualy feels since INFJ are slow and steady like the turtles racing against the rabbit in love business...but time is running out too fast to actually wait for the turtle to win the race because the rabbit fell asleep.

Dawn of the Last day, 24 hours remaining.

Saitama would just chicken out. Like bugs bunny under the rock face. Get second thoughts from not being absolutely certain that his emotions are reciprocated and shy away with his insecurities.

Saitama has a bucket list to go with him, so there's that.

jänistää (jänis = bunny) (jänistää = chicken out and run away)

livistää arkuuttaan (chicken out and run away due to shyness)

luopua aikomuksestaan uhkaa koettuaan (give up on doing something due to a perceived threat)

(Ah the Tanabata)

You can see the deformity in Saitama's eyes when he goads Garou into trying to hit him by appearing vulnerable while looking at him directly in the eye and seeing a glimpse of his soul. I don't think he likes that at all, since he's not the violent sort.

And oh, does this paint a clear metaphor, about what else can be found from the blind spot, upon the forehead, if he were to delve far too deep into the rabbit hole of his own psyche.

No wonder he's uncertain about Genos. There's definitely some kind of preternatural phobia or something involved. About the third eye/mind's eye. Definitely eldritch.

(Think Shimazaki from Mob psycho)

--

So, how does one Seal the deal with a God anyway?

A gesture in agreement, probably a hand gesture (since spiritual people seem to be doing that a lot) but also a sentiment with emotional attachment to that specific emotion, I would say. And wholeheartedly agreeing with the sentiment.

Genos already made a deal with a god by becoming his disciple and got an impartation of power; access to Saitama's emotional strenght via his empathy.

To seal the deal completely?

I mean, what else can it be but a kiss on the lips and a love confession from this utterly infatuated idiot.

To wake up the sleeping beauty like in the fairy tales. How romantic to soulbound with someone for all eternity. And cursed when their fates get twisted and they never find each other. Romantic tragedy, Romeo and Juliet.

I say idiot fondly because it's exactly what he would want right now, but Saitama is not ready if he were to get a sudden influx of feedback loop of emotions. He would not know where he begins and Genos ends, like two people living under the same egghead, if he hasn't build up some mental walls first. Individualization would be almost impossible. The shadow snuck too close for comfort.

If Saitama the antenna, that makes Genos the wi-fi signal. As in the mural.

Oh and Genos is definitely not ready yet either, he needs more mental strenght first to handle it. Saitama's emotions, his divine power, are strong af. He would probably explode.

I can predict about as far as Genos arriving to the scene...but it remains to be seen what kind of actions he will take.

He will probably end up doing something stupid or crazy though. But he will have to, to flip the webcomic script on it's head.

That will determine their fates. Because Saitama will need affirmation that he's not going to be left in emotionally lonely hell when the time comes. And neither will Genos, because Saitama would not allow it.

Clear skies, full hearts, can't lose.

(The most hilarious and unpredictable thing would be for the romantic comedy to begin and Saitama and Genos make out in the base, in front of everyone else without any inhibitions, because Genos has the unholy hots for sensei and by sealing the deal, have this feedback loop.)

(Saitama would totally fall for Genos and even cosplay villain mafia boss if he had to and become anything at all for Genos.)

(ONE gonna go "Keep the change you filthy animals." when he feeds the shippers. But also because he's the biggest troll and it would be fucking funny to see the oldest joke in the series utterly dismantled and watch the fireworks.)

(Looks quite a bit to me that you're swinging that way indeed and walking in tandem. I don't believe that horsecrap saitama lol, nobody does)

(Tbh those also look like socks and or heels to me...Saitama & socks = sensuality and heels would def be sexuality.)

(Hehe Genos fighting for his love against opm god because Saitama is the rose bride from utena ahahaha, that would be some tug of war)

(Funeral suspenders btw)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

I Am So Glad You Asked!!!

So basically... Tokitoswap! a swap au in which the tokis and the kamados swap roles-- yui swapping w/ tan, and mui swapping with nezzy. 

aka: Two Twins Have A Bit Of A Worse Time Than Usual And Suddenly Find Themselves In The Middle Of A Thousand Year Struggle Between Humans And Demons (Which Are Real By The Way)!

. it also happens to be an exercize in having a concept, going “hey, wouldnt it be funny if--?” and then it sticks and you have to commit. i keep trying to explain in a way that Makes Sense, but im gonna be honest. theres just So Fucking Much going on and ive been trying to write this for hours and i dont even know where to start summarizing WAHAHAH. i dont know if its very Canon Aligned but it sure is very Me Aligned and i sure am gonna commit to the bit! anyway. 

its heavily in-progress and was supposed to be a clean one-role swap but! Well!!!! It Sure Isn’t Anymore!!! 

under the cut since im Incapable of keeping things short:

funy lil swap au! ft:  Yui: “Older” Brother who Thinks he’s in charge. a beleaguered 14-year-old who stumbled into being a slayer and super isn’t prepared for this. Unfortunately, having your sole remaining family turn into a demon is kind of antithetical to “go home and pretend nothing happened.” he is handling this very well. (lie) a user of wind-breathing, his main priority is keeping him and mui safe, and is a bit overprotective. which is a problem, since mui will charge headfirst into the first sign of danger to protect him. their relationship is a bit messy, but they’re pretty much the only thing holding each other together. a kid trying so hard to act bigger than he is-- and inevitably, routinely failing.

Mui: Odd Little Creacher secretly hiding Rage More Powerful Than A Thousand Suns. just barely surviving the attack of their family one fateful night by That Man, he manages to completely break the curse and hunger or being a demon through his own sheer will. unfortunately, he also completely loses control of himself and, in order to make sure that energy doesnt completely tear him apart, his consciousness completely mists over-- leaving him rather airheaded and distant in an attempt to hold back the roaring of a new power he cannot control. . but hes so silly!! ^w^ couldn’t hurt a fly!!

Murata: Some Fucking Guy who just so happened to get roped into all this. is just absolutely baffled this kid is out here slaying demons like this, and is honestly doing his best to make sure he doesn’t stupidly get himself killed. despite being at a higher rank than them, though, he’s kind of... well, he hasn’t gotten the hang of water-breathing techniques. try as he might, he just cant quite reach the same skill level as some of his peers. even still though, he has to keep trying. he has a job to do, and promises to keep. 

Susamaru: Professionally identifies as a Problem. a user of beast-breathing, she just kind of... shows up one day and starts antagonizing. originally started fighting the twins for the honestly-kind-of-reasonable reason of “That Kid Is A Demon And Thats A Fucking Problem” but got distracted messing with yui enough to get. kinda curious about the other one. she’s loud and brash and fucking annoying, but at some point she just... asserted herself. and never left.  she’s an odd case. ridiculously skilled at the whole slaying-demons thing, she just... doesnt seem to take things seriously. has a penchant for irritating people on purpose-- but its purely for the extent of understanding how they work. what makes them tick. she’s here for a good time, not a long time. most of her peers don’t like her much, but once she’s decided that she likes someone, theres very little she wont do for them. and these nerds just so happen to be next on the list. 

. all in all, its just these dorks against the world. there’s just. a ridiculous amount of mess ive written about how they function and how their arcs shape up, and while there Are some other roles and etc written up, my brain has been completely laser focused on These Four In Particular, so . \o/ ! anyway, heres a bunch of ambient sketches from all over the place of Them(tm)

[darkurgetrash]

Facts about fellow writers Tag Game

Thank you so much for the tag @graysparrowao3! I love your work and I loved getting to know more about you!❤️🥰

No-pressure tags to @notlikeparis @bearhugsandshrugs and @underdark-dreams x

Last book I read:

Poor Things because I liked the film. In what is a very rare occasion, I actually liked the film better - though the book did fix some minor issues I had.

Greatest literary inspiration:

I’m usually a poet and short-story writer - long form is very new to me - and Sayaka Murata is a huge influence to me. My last short-story was about a man who believed his girlfriend had turned into a frog. 🐸

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:

I am a big fuck-boy Gortash stan, especially when it comes to @bearhugsandshrugs’ work! I think I’d struggle to pull off that vibe myself though.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: 

Emperor x Tav, non-smut. Give me an 🐙 if you would be though lol. 👀

You can recognize my writing by:

Lots of hurt/comfort, every character is a pining idiot, and much-too-long descriptions. Oh, and slow-burn, as if y’all couldn’t have guessed. 😂!

My most controversial take (current fandom):

Not a Bloodweave fan, honestly don’t get it. Sorry hehe xox

Current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut):

Hmm I just published my latest chapter so I guess 7 now? I get less motivated the longer I leave it which is why I end up posting so often, lol.

Top three favourite tropes:

Slow-burn, Enemies to Lovers, and Pining. ❤️‍🔥 Obviously, I have a million though.

Share a random frustration:

Don’t even get me started on my rant about how people don’t consider fanfic writing to be “real writing”. Lead Me Through The Dark has been a huge - maybe even biggest ever accomplishment for me and I’m published with what people consider “real” stuff. 🤷‍♀️