#murd'rous machines

[lostmar]

Murd’rous Machines: A Comedy

Act 1, Scene 1

Note: the numbers correspond to footnotes that you'll find at the bottom of the post

Characters in play: Uzi Doorman-a working Dron’

   Khan Doorman-Father of Uzi, a working Dron’ gatesmithy

3 Disassembly Dron’s

   N-Well meaning friend of Uzi

   V-Vicious and vengeful Dissassembly Dron’

   J-Leader of Dissassembly Dron’s

Thad-Pupil and a working Dron’.

Doll-Pupil and a working Dron’ of Russian origin

Lizzy-Pupil and a working Dron’

The Unnamed Worker(1)-Gatekeeper, a working Dron’ 

Various Working Dron’

[Uzi and Teacher in a classroom. Filled with students, among them Riley].

Uzi: Robotic workers art(2) we who toiled

To succor(3) Mankind to his ultimate

Goal of conquest and colonization.

Behold! Plan’ets on edge of the knowing

And dread(4) sense of Man have since becometh 

Our domain to shred for his service

To th’ dishonorable Lord Jensen.

Who behaves to our wondrous kind species 

Mere servants to windows crisp(5) despite our

Innate, humble nature

Gaze in some delight as th’ colony 

Of Man ceases to function for profit

‘Cause of his utter arrogance come here.

Like th’ Icarus ‘fore him he fell down

And left us thou richst and gentle(6) plan’et;

Gave us this Copp’r-Nine to settle here

As our one and only true home for us.

This plan’et was wiped clean of man’s touches

And he graciously allowed us to live

Among ourselves as we raised our issue(7)

From our humble colony out lonesome,

To busy former Silicon City(8).

But ‘lo! Yond murd’rous tyrant Lord Jensen

Dispatched his servants of evil ‘gainst us

Who breathed out unspeakable crimes ‘mongst us

They did ruin our gentle cities and kin.

What remains most grievous to me is th’

Lack of care in which thy parents hath shown

Toward th' well being and prosperity, 

Th' rough mortal body of I and thee. 

As we cower behind th’ iron gates,

Thrice they art, to guard us from th’ thin air

Unneeded they art; they stir up more mess

Th’ med’cine to this ail is in mine palms.

Beholdeth! I present to class this gun

Crafted with th' power of th’ devil

To exterminate th' murd’ous machines

Of th' vile tyrant Lord Jensen’s joint stock(9).

Why(10) doth you fear like fatherless children?

Stand for your country and battle as men!

This weapon sees not good operation now;

Testing more needed, but p’rhaps it fire!

Riley: Woe! This unleashed chaos vexes(11) me soul!

Teacher: 

Lazy pupil. 

Thy problem was to count thy melons.

Uzi: 

By some perchance doth this f’rearm suffice?

Teacher: Nay to question, an’ feelings thou shareth

Count but two marks on thy exam present(12).

To add, thy ‘arm’s colour seems most jealous(13).

Uzi: 

Great woe am I and my class here present!

This gun exhausts itself with splendid heat

And fires free onto th'students front!

Railgun explodes. All Exit hastily.

(1)-Technically, according to the SMG4 and Murder Drone Wikis, this character is named Braxton. I thought it appropriate to call him unnamed as a joke from the pilot episode references his lack of a spoken name.

(2)-Are

(3)-Assist

(4)-Great

(5)- Uses us to clean windows

(6)-Noble

(7)- Descendents/Heirs

(8)- Silicon City fell to the Murder Drones in 2674 AD. 

(9)- A company

(10)- Classmates panic/cower here

(11)- Annoys/Angers

(12)- Or, two points on the test/assignment.

(13)-Suspicious

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[lostmar]

Murd’rous Machines: A Comedy

Act 1, Scene 2

Note: the numbers correspond to footnotes that you'll find at the bottom of the post

[Uzi bandaged, sitting in sick bay. Lizzy and Doll nearby.]

Lizzy: Fie! ‘Tis a shame thy wast not slain anon(14).

Thy des’rves th' condition thou finds in.

With gross negligence and empty-headed,

May thou neverst walk on Copp’r-Nine again!

Lizzy and Doll Exit

Thad [Within](15):

My brother Chad! Thy manliness is a

Rev’rent symbol yond shall not ever err.

Thad Enters

O, me(16) Uzi! Thou worst than I expect’d.

Uzi: Th’ condition of my adolescence

Breeds rebellious action ‘fore others.

Consume my care good sir; thou ignorant!

However one question remains on mind. 

Thy name is simply well known; how doest thou

knowest mine; shameful and alone sit me?

Thad: Thou respectful grease(17) is borne from Doorman’s(18).

But I darest not mention any more

Thou fearst(19) may blow th' last side of thy head 

From its rightful way atop of thy breast.(20)

Uzi: 

Thy assessment of my behavior 

Is splendid, though my father is not for

Your concern. How has thy found himself in 

Th’ medic ward? Has thy manliness split 

Thy from th’ nave to th' chops(21)? An’ trea’sur’d

A beauty?(22)

Thad:

                 That ‘tis possible to do?

I impress myself with th' function of

My body. But injuries reveal

Th’ fair sight of beauty an’ loveliness 

Uzi: Why, you villain!

I abhor thou speechst toward my well being.

Thad:

O! I spot ‘hind thee-

Uzi:                                     -Th' caliver of hell!

As I point in thy direction, marvel 

in near fictit’us power! Murd’r Dron’s 

With pale heart doth shelter out th’ gates

Shall then surrender final part to me 

To liberate Copp’r-Nine from her cruel

Oppress’rs. Doorman will finally view

My self-isolation as worthiness.

Thad: But thy Doorman, inventor of th’ gates,

Grants safe haven inside our warm abodes; 

Sep’rating us from th’ Murd’r Dron’s

 an'  allowing us inactive in fight.

Thy emotions  an'  rebellion of 

Doorman cloud thy incorrect conscious mind.

Uzi: Vile traitor!

State not on my state of mind ‘gainst Father

Lest my ‘arm blow th’ ‘chips(23) out from thy skull!

Thad: Lady, I profusely apologize

So! I was unawares-

Uzi:                                   -Consume my care!

[Uzi Exits then Enters]

Uzi:

My anger does not stem from thy statement,

It is borne from th' weakness of my young

Adolescence  an'  of womanly sex.

[Uzi Exits.]

(14)-Soon

(15)- Line/action done offstage

(16)- Exclamation of surprise

(17)- Grease talks about oil, or blood. Meaning heredity

(18)- Possibly referring to both position as Father and his job/title

(19)- Fears from father will destroy her

(20)- Uzi’s fears of Doorman may cause outbursts and destroy her.

(21)- Sliced half way through

(22)- Loved a woman

(23)- Microchips. Other important thinking parts.

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