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emmyrosee · 4 years

Note

give us a random headcanon go 👀

UHM OK

This got long and kind of angsty I’m SORRY-

Axel and Mark are brothers. Axel’s older than mark by a fairly big margin so he offers that good ol’ elder brother wisdom™️ and Mark isn’t always here for it.

Axel’s had to drag mark out of parties more times than he can count, some because he was worried about his lil bro, some because he wasn’t answering moms texts and axel wasn’t about to let him make their momma feel bad.

Like this one time, their mom was punishing Mark for being completely shitfaced and missing something for their grampa, and Mark straight up snuck out of his room, no note, no regards, nothing, and with his mom fearing the absolute worst, that she’d lost her son, her baby, Axel quickly tracked down his brother and hauled his drunk ass right back home, speeding so fast mark was puking in the truck, yelling at him so bad mark pouted, and by the time they got home his brother was just a needy, scolded mess, and their mom was all over him, taking care of him and letting him puke and whine about his tummyache, and if she needed Axel to get anything, he did, not questions asked.

When mark was going through his first serious breakup, Axel really stepped forwards to work him back to normal, doing things with him other than just drinking the problems away like his friends wanted to. They went to cheap bowling alleys and drank cheap beer, they would drive around at 2 am, blasting music as they passed a joint, and it was probably the first real time- like honest, true, raw- that Mark learned it was okay to be a man and cry. He was hitting Axel, screaming and telling him she was every terrible name under the sun and that Axel had no idea what the fuck Mark went through to try to keep her happy.

When Axel pulled over, he shoved Mark back a little, just enough to straighten him back, telling him to stop being a pussy and just embrace it. She was gone. She was no good for him, and she was gone. She broke his heart, it was okay to be sad, and Mark wore his vocal chords raw with his sobs and shrieks of despair. “Why doesn’t she fucking want me, Axe? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing, dude,” he promises over his brothers tears. “You’re at a stupid age where love doesnt mean shit to nobody. Fuck, I am too. But right now, you’re sad because you’re alone, and one day you’re going to find someone, and they’re going to make you fear a lot of things more important than just ‘being alone.’ Trust me dude. You’re too fucking young to get that.”

They don’t talk about that night often. Axel’s jacket collar had been permanently ruined from Mark’s tears and hot breath against the leather, but from then on, instead of just getting drunk off his rocker when he was sad, he’d just find Axel and cry it out.

Their dad passed away when Mark was young, and their mom never really recovered from it. Because of this, Axel really took the role of being momma’s fix-it man, getting an under-the-table job when he was young and making sure Mark had snacks and lunches while their mom took care of the house. When momma Cluney eventually remarried, she never ceased to thank Axel for all he did, and it always put Mark in a weird feeling. Not that he wasn’t grateful beyond words, he just always felt bad that Axel had to go through that at such a young age.

“You were in Kindergarten,” Axel says cooly, passing his brother a beer. “What were you going to do, sell dunk-a-roos for cold, hard cash?”

“I could’ve done more,” he mumbles, taking a long sip of his drink. “Like... I could’ve been more grateful for the toys and the lunch money.”

Axel chuckles and reaches over to ruffle Mark’s hair, “hey; you were fed. You didn’t give mom too much shit. And on your birthday, you got the Power-Ranger toys you wanted. You were grateful. You just didn’t get why you had to wait until your birthday.”

Mark snorts and shoves Axel’s hand away, sighing softly, “I wish I knew him, dude..”

“You look just like him.”

“What was he like?”

Axel hums and leans back in his seat, fingers swirling the lip of his beer bottle, “I remember when I was nine, I told him I was going to run away. Go live in the treehouse of our old house.” He paused to smirk, “bastard made me a lunch box with two peanut butter sandwiches, a bag of barbecue chips and a juice box and said ‘good for you! You’re a man now, do what you gotta do!’ I never made it off of the porch.”

Mark snickers and they get real quiet. “I miss him,” he admits. “I don’t remember him... but I miss him.”

Axel hums again, “he was moms great love. Never laid a hand on us, nor her. He was a good man.”

Mark raises his bottle to his brother, “you’re a good man too, dude.”

“Believe me, mark,” Axel chuckles sadly. “I’m only a quarter of the man he was.”

On a lighter note, Axel taught Mark to drive. He filled his truck with gas, drove them both out to the city limits, butt-fuck no where, with a bag of fast food and his gps.

“Okay,” Axel hums. “Get out.”

“Excuse me?”

Axel pulled the keys out of the ignition and tossed them to his brother, “you’re driving us back home. Oh, and to CVS, mom needs sugar and milk.”

And with those buggy green eyes, Mark just completely stares at Axel, freaked out and worried (mostly because Axel’s truck is his baby, and Axel was levelheaded enough at all times to hide a body if need be), so with a reassuring smile, axel slips out of the driver side, gesturing mark to slide over the bench-seat, and he slowly walked Mark through the process of starting the car and driving back home.

He hit a curb. And ran a stop-light. Nearly hit a squirrel, but never once did axel raise his voice to him. He would simply tell him it was alright and that “it doesn’t have to be perfect; I just want you to get us home.”

When they finally pull in a few hours later, Mark was so terrified Axel would tell their mom everything, but axel just shook his head. “If I wanted you to be perfect, I wouldn’t have just thrown you into traffic; I wanted to make sure you could drive if I wasn’t around and mom needed you. You got home. We’re alive. Tomorrow, if you’re feeling easy, we’ll go to a parking lot or something. But you did fine.” He smiles and leaves the truck, “but don’t puke in the truck; do it in the front yard, please.”

Which. Mark obeys.

Whenever Mark’s birthday rolls around, Axel drives them up to an old lake house their great-grandparents built, only bringing some clothes, booze and a gas can to get in and out of town, and they fish, make s’mores, and just be kids again. Again, Mark is much younger than Axel, so all the memories Axel has here, Mark doesn’t, so he wants him to enjoy the young years of his life that Axel really couldn’t.

Sometimes, if they’re bold, they’ll bring whoever they’re dating or smashing, but they’ve found it’s better to just have a guys weekend away, only them two in the middle of the woods, with only the fish in the lake to keep them company.

“So you had a treehouse and a fuckin’ cabin before I came along?” Mark asks by the fire, marshmallow clinging to his face childishly. Axel snorts, “dude I haven’t had a birthday party since I was seven, then you showed up.”

“Oh I’m sooo sorry,” Mark sings, rolling his eyes and plopping the last of his s’more in his mouth. Axel sighs dramatically, “don’t be. You made mom happy,” he pats his brother on the shoulder. “And she said I wasn’t allowed to try and return you anymore, so.”

Mark laughs before his brows furrowed, “anymore?”

Axel smirks. “Why do you think you’re so claustrophobic now, Markie?”

“The fuck did you do to me?”

“Shoved you in a box and left you outside.”

“You WHAT.”

“Three times.”

They bicker. They fight. But they’d fucking die for each other. As they got older, they really became best friends and Mark is open to that fact.

In fact, for Axel’s birthday, Mark got his hands on a pikachu doll from the 90’s that Axel was dying to have a kid but couldn’t get because he had to help his mom take care of mark, but every now and again he brought it up to joke.

Mark could tell that, even as an adult, he still wanted that pikachu toy because he wouldn’t shut up about it, so he finally saved up and got it ($150 mint-condition his asshole), and when Axel opened it on his birthday, there was not a dry eye from anyone except Mark.

Big, green eyes flip from the toy to Mark, jaw dropped in surprise and just completely at a loss for words. Mark grins, “now you can shut up about it; you own it. Live your Ash Katchum dreams, freak.”

Axel laughs around his cries, a tattooed hand coming up to stop himself. He wastes no time in stalking his way over to his brother, pulling him in for a tight hug while the younger just hugs him back, still smiling before shoving him off when people tried to get pictures.

“Cant have people who get our Christmas card think I like you or anything,” he snorts, making Axel laugh again before going back to his seat to finish his gifts, but everyone (including himself) knew that Mark won that year.

The first time Axel brings someone home, they’re a guy. Their mom was chillin, she had no problems with it (though she didn’t really expect Morgan to necessarily be a man), Mark was pretty confused. Like, sure Axel always had friends over, but they were never cuddly and touchy before, and it made Mark really curious.

He probably brings it up on one of their fishing trips years later, and axel barely has any clue what he’s talking about at first.

“You seriously don’t remember Morgan?” Mark asks in disbelief. “Like, how do I, but you don’t?”

“I’ve been with a lot of people,” Axel shrugs. Then, he tenses up and a slow grin spreads across his face, “oh. Morgan.”

“Yes! Morgan, the first person you ever brought home!”

“They’re not Morgan anymore,” Axel recalls. “Well, to me anyways. After we broke up, they became she, and her name is Bella. We’re still close, she’s just not Morgan anymore.”

“So... are you... like...?”

Axel smirks, “I’m nothing, dude. No skin off my ass for labels. If you learn anything from me, Markie boy,” he turns to his brother, “do what makes you happy. Love who the hell you want. Mom’s going to love you. I’m gonna love you. And fuck anyone who tells you you can’t.”

“I think I’m straight.”

Axel chuckles. “You’ve just never pursued anyone who hasn’t gone after you; just so happens only women have gone after you.”

Mark frowns and sinks lower in his seat, “do you think... not-straight-guys are afraid of me?”

“I think they’re afraid of your frat-boy-fuck-buddies who tease someone for having any sort of human emotions,” Axel says nonchalantly. “I’ve taught you enough about treating people with respect, your friends don’t have the same drive you do.”

Which brings me to my next point

Axel ABSOLUTELY taught Mark about the birds and the bees.

He drove them both around town not long after Mark turned 14, and he parked at their town’s high school and just... talked about sex. What happens, how does it feel, etc..

“You need to listen to her, Mark,” he says sternly. “The minute you hear a “no,” you fucking stop. The minute you hear a ‘I don’t want to,’ you stop. I don’t care if you’re balls deep inside of her, you slip out, tuck yourself away and apologize for making her uncomfortable.”

“But what if-“

“No.”

That’s the basics; like what happens when you have sex, what how to use protection, and the importance of consent. A while later, once Mark starts going to parties, he drives them out again, only this time to talk about when she says “yes.”

“You gotta work her up,” Axel hums, cigarette low on his lips. “Her body will let you know when she’s ready. If you go in dry, you’re going to hurt her.”

“How do I like... do that?”

Axel smirks, “play with her a little. Kiss her nice and slow... let your hands paw and squeeze, let her moan a little, let her purr... I’ve been with a few girls who like being tickled and picked up, some girls like it more rough and playful too, a smack on the ass, a few bites on their neck-“

“How will I know?” Mark squeaks. “If she like... likes what I’m doing.”

Once again, Axel grins, “believe me, Markie boy- you’ll know.”

Sjfhvdgbgh I WANT MORE, MY BOYS🥺🥺

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fuckingthefictional · 4 years

Text

One more hour

Pairing: Philip Hamilton x Reader

AN: yoooo I highly recommend listening to Anthony Ramos- ‘One more hour’ while reading this. I gave up half way through but enjoy anyway!

Philip, what happened to you last night?”

“My man, It's crazy”

“Bro, you disappeared, did you leave with Y/N?”

“Yeah man, we were just hanging out man, and then we just kept goin' from one spot to another and-“

“What time did y'all get in?”

“like five or six or something like that, the sun was definitely coming up”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, let me tell you about it”

Here's how it happened- Downtown Manhattan, Chillin' with everybody in the cast and Pregame of swiftin' After work sippin'

Before moving to a big city, Y/N could never have possibly anticipated the sound of traffic being even remotely calming.

However, the longer she lived in a busy city, the more she learned to appreciate the sound of people in their cars.

It was oddly calming, the idea of hundreds of thousands of different people going about their lives.

The idea never ceased to get her creativity flowing, she could just listen for hours to the soft hum of engines for hours on end.

“Hey Y/N.”

Y/N felt her body jump in surprise as she heard someone speak in front of her, looking up from her work , she turned to find Philip Hamilton stood by her.

They’d both worked together at the New York Post for a couple of years now- ever since the pair had both been interns, fresh out of college.

It was fair to say that Y/N had a crush on Philip since the first time they met

“A bunch of us are going to Montero’s after work, d’you fancy coming with?”

Y/N swore she could feel her heart stop in her chest.

“M-me?” The woman stuttered in shock, her eyes wide and brows high.

Philip chuckled nervously, as he rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean yeah, I’d really like it if you came- o-only if you want to, of course”

Y/N found herself giggling at the curly haired boys nervousness, “I’d love to,” she smiled in response,” what time are we all leaving?”

“Planning on leaving at around 6, and then staying out for however long we feel like.” He flashed his pearly whites in her direction, making Y/N’s heart flutter once again.

“Okay,” looking down at her outfit she sighed in frustration. It was very... professional, “I wish I’d brought something to change into now.”

“You really don’t need a change of clothes Y/N,” Philip skimmed his eyes up and down her outfit, before clearing his throat, “You look good in everything...”

You could feel your face turn pink, as you became flustered.

“...Especially when you blush like that.”

One drink to two 'til we on the train trippin'. Four four and A, Let's take the A. We gettin' lit 'cause we had a long day- Spot ain't too far, Big crew to start. But now we alone talkin' shit at the bar

Y/N found herself sipping a last gulp of her glass of wine, she savouring the taste in her mouth as she listened to her coworker, Theo chatter on about her engagement.

It was hard to keep focused on the other woman though, as Y/N kept catching Philip’s gaze from across the bar.

It wasn’t long at all before Philip strolled over with a few more of Y/N’s coworkers in tow. In his hands he held an additional glass of wine in his hands, which he slid towards her as he sat down in the both beside her.

“Is this for me?” Y/N questioned the curly haired boy.

“Only if you want it,” Philip shrugged, “Just thought you deserved another round, especially after the day we’ve had.”

Y/N giggled softly as she bumped his shoulder against hers, “thank you, I really appreciate it.”

Hours ticked by as fellow Coworkers began to pack up their things and say their farewells.

And it wasn’t long until it was just Philip and herself sat alone talking at the bar together.

It was strange, how comfortable Y/N felt with Philip. Obviously they knew each Other well, but around him it felt like time moved quickly without her knowledge.

“Holy crap, do you remember George Eaker?” Y/N laughed into her wine glass, as she remembered what a stupid situation she had been placed into.

“Oh God- he was an asshole.” Philip grumbled.

“He wasn’t that bad!”

“He flirted with you non-stop for a month- it was horrible.”

The young woman smiled cheekily at the guy in front of her, “Aw is lil Pip jealous?” She ruffled his soft head of hair, watching as he flushed red in response.

Then we held eyes way too long, started feeling something more- always been just friends before. Now I don't really wanna go!

“Well maybe I was.” He muttered under a bated breath.

Y/N swore she felt her body freeze up, since when did Philip like her like this? I mean she wasn’t complaining but- they’d always been “just friends”.

They held eye contact for a few moments, something that had to be too long to be considered a normal friend thing.

As she looked into Philip’s eyes, she noticed a gnawing feeling in her stomach, one that told her: ‘she didn’t want to be just friends with Pip- she wanted something more.’

Now this place is closin', they callin' last round, I got another spot around the corner if you down. Tomorrow we ain't workin', so maybe one more? But homie, no pressure, we can call it if you want

“It’s probably time we go,” Y/N spoke softly, “they’re calling last rounds.” She downed the rest of the wine in her glass as she started working on gathering up her things.

The bar was slowly becoming more and more desolate, as the customers began to filter out of the exit and into the streets.

A select few of the patrons were working on getting a last order in, before the bar shut for the night.

Philip cleared his throat, “Y’know, I know another place around the corner if you’re down to go?” He took a few seconds to rethink his words, as a moment later he added on a panicked, “But no pressure, we can call it a night if you want?”

She said, "Nah, let's make a move, and I'ma trust you. But if this place is wack you gon' be callin’ my- Ooh

Y/N mulled over the decision in her mind for a minute. She really wanted to.

“Oh what the hell!” The young woman declared, “we’re not working tomorrow, but I swear to God Pip if this place is whack you’ll be the one having to call my parents”

Philip chuckled in response, as he hopped off of the bar stool and held his hand out for her to take.

Without even a second thought, she took his larger hand in hers.

Philip’s palms were warm (but not sweaty or clammy) Which played a huge contrast in comparison to Y/N’s own freezing cold hands, And whenever he squeezed her hand in excitement- Y/N could feel the butterflies erupt in her belly.

It was small things like this, that never failed to make Y/N fall more in love with Philip Hamilton.

5 minutes of walking later, Philip finally halted in front of a rather rustic looking bar- that maybe was beginning to border i on scrappy looking.

The neon sign above the entrance read ‘Valentinos’ in a glowing red font.

Y/N would be lying if she said that she wasn’t nervous about entering the building.

“My dad and his friends used to frequent here back in college,” Philip explained, before continuing on “it’s usually quite quiet and it stays open late.”

Y/N could feel her heart hammering inside her chest- she didn’t know what to make of this place.

Her anxiety was obviously noticed by the young man holding her hand, as seconds later he took her face in his hands.

Philip gently caressed her cheeks as he spoke softly in a soothing manner, “I don’t want to force you into anything that you’re not comfortable with- But I promise it’ll be safe inside.”

Y/N found herself listening to his words.

Philip wouldn’t put her in any immediate danger- she could feel it.

Inside the bar was better than Y/N had expected, it was clean and there were plenty of spare tables to sit at.

So they sat, sipping their new sounds of drinks, at the back of the bar.

Slowly letting time slip in between their fingertips.

Never mind, never mind, ‘cause soon as we arrive, got a spot up in the back, back to losing track of time.

Hours later, both Philip and Y/N stumbled out of Valentino’s- slightly tipsy and high on life.

Outside was dark, and it was obvious how late the night had gotten.

Y/N wasn’t even overly surprised when she looked at her phone, And found that the time was half past 3 in the morning.

the dim glow of the street lights lit up the strips of sidewalk, And the bustle had for the most part stopped.

But she could still hear the sound of the trains below their feet, as the transport continued to set off and arrive to and from the subway platform.

And other than that, the only thing Y/N could hear was the steady breathing coming from Philip.

“It's been a good night, I mean, I hope we can do this again for real,” he pulled Y/N closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. But Y/N didn’t mind one bit, “but We should probably head out ‘Cause, you know- There's nowhere else to go, ‘should probably head on home.”

Y/N watched Philip take his phone out of his pocket, as he pressed on the Uber app. Ready to call Y/N a cab back home.

“Stop!” Y/N didn’t know what urged her to take Philip’s face into her hands, but she followed through as she followed on, “Let's go one more hour! Usually I'm gone now- I'm not ready, I don't really wanna go.”

A split second later Philip’s mouth was on hers, as the pair met in a hot, passionate kiss.

It was everything that Y/N could’ve imagined, as the young man tugged at her Y/H/C locks on her head.

She let out a pleasured groan at the sensation, and she could feel Philip’s smile pressing up against her lips.

“One more hour huh?” Philip mumbled, “Does that include being at my apartment?”

#hamilton #hamilsquad #hamilton imagine #anthonyramos #anthony ramos #philiphamiltonxreader #philip hamilton x reader #philiphamilton #philip hamilton

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dvanaestmrva · 3 years

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For the get in my business meme, answer the five questions you most want to answer please!

1. The meaning behind my url:

It refferences a fairytale I uh. Love I guess? Idk it takes up a special space in my brain since it has several unique elements. Or maybe not necessarily unique but they're put together in a unique way. The hero pulls double duty as the Brave Prince and The Clever Underdog Sheperd Boy, the dragon litteraly gets defeated through the power of music and joy which sounds like something more out of a cartoon less out of a folktale but here we are I guess. And the aforementioned bread crumbs are barely featured in the story. They're false advertising(in more than one sense).

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

Technically seen the death? No. But uh I was once stuck in traffic because the buss in front of the one I was in hit someone. I have an old sketch book from middleschool and I remember the exact page I drew on that day while waiting for the bus to move. And I remember how I wondered wether or not I should be more upset about what happened? Cos I sort of wasn't. Idk, I try not to dwell on the topic of death, but this was still really memorable.

60.Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

This isn't me bragging bcs that'd be stupid but I was sort of... known as someone who just naps any chance she gets and in usually sort of odd places back in highschool(god that;s weird to say- back in hs. holy god) . One time I managed to sleep away gym in the changing room without the teacher even noticing I was absent. Some motherfucker in my class took a picture of me curled up under a jacket though and messaged it to my older sister and she kinda made fun of/ gave me shit for it. So uh. Yea. Not my proudest achievement (it wasn't even a good nap smh).

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

Yea lmao a few months ago I was litteraly just chillin in bed when suddenly everything shuddered a bit. And then I just went on with my day????? xD It felt sort of like when someone shakes you awake. Now obviously it caused plenty of damage at the epicenter and I'm not trying to make light of that but yea. That was like. A moment in my life.

92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

Nope. But!!! I never told this to anyone because a) no one would believe me b)it would sound like bragging and I cannot handle being made fun of in the slightest, but. This one time when I was..... 16-17-iiiish? a modeling scout attempted to stop me in the street but as soon as she uttered the word 'model' I instantly nop'd the fuck away. Partially because I am a nervous wreck and I did not feel like stuttering through a guaranteed awkward conversation with a complete stranger in the middle of a crowded street(oh god...), and partially because I simply did not want anything to do with that shit.

thanks for sending in the ask ✌

#death tw #because of the bus story #i think i never truly did sit down and process how truly horrible what happened was #but i sort of don;t need to #everything that happened on that day was only tangentially related to me #my presence there was purely coincidental.#and i was in 8th grade so im not about to get messed up over it now.#so yea #ask game #tbh the modeling scout story gets stupider #because at the time #very recetnly prior to the encounter #we had a sort of a #Human Traficking Is A Very Real Threat You Could Be Facing PSA #so getting a kinda sorta job offer-ish by a rando on the street out of the big blue nowhere #made me sort of instinctively jumpy and nervous #because the whole thing was still fresh in my mind

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scav-eng-er · 5 years

Text

Hold Me Tight. Modern Reylo AU

I have never cried so hard writing something as I did now. This story is based on “If The World Was Ending.” I have no words, but I’m still crying.

Here is the song if you would like to listen to it while you read!

For @reylo-trash-4ever and @mojona1999, this is for you two! Surprise. im emotional.

My next chapter will be up this weekend. Thank you!

Ben wasn’t even paying attention to the news when it went public. He bustled about his apartment, distracted by the worries of potentially burning his lunch. His toast was burning, his coffee was starting to get cold and he didn’t bother looking at the pile of mail building on his kitchen island.

“Alert. Alert,” A mechanical voice echoed into his living room. “We interrupt your programming. This is a national emergency.”

The annoyingly familiar weather storm alert pulled his attention, but what worried him was that he could also hear it above his floor, below and around. Everyone’s televisions were broadcasting this..?

“The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has detected a significant environmental event that will impact the greater United States. You and your loved ones should seek the nearest fallout shelter immediately. Please stand by for further area updates.”

The screen went black.

I was distracted and in traffic I didn't feel it when the earthquake happened

Ben’s blood went cold.

Fuck, this was actually happening?

The fallout shelters scattered around the city was just a precaution months ago. Were people going to take this seriously? There’s no way an entire city could fit in those bunkers. He recalled seeing them on the news when the first and only environmental threat was near the city. The mayor decided to construct poorly developed “safe houses” to appease the worried citizens. However, most of the city (and the world) tossed the fear aside like a usual storm that would soon be forgotten.

A cry and scream could be heard in his building. A chill went down his spine. Grabbing his phone, Ben went to message the first person he could think of. He ignored the shaking in his hands, fear of the inevitable closer than he ever thought. He just wanted to see her.

But it really got me thinkin', were you out drinkin'?

Were you in the living room, chillin', watchin' television?

Wait. Should he text her? Should he call her? They haven’t spoken in almost a year. Hell, the last time they actually spoke face to face, she was returning his hoodie. Her favorite hoodie. She always loved how much it smelled like him, and he loved when she wore it. God, he missed her. He missed her hugs and how she made him feel so relaxed. The stress of life was nonexistent when she was with him, and his heart would still flutter when she walked in the room. They still acted like lovesick teenagers sometimes, even after their three year relationship. Which is why it hurt so much when they ended it.

What was she doing right now? Surely she must’ve heard these news too. She was usually home now, and she could’ve seen the report as well. Was she alone? Was she scared? Of course she was probably scared, he was fucking terrified. He didn’t want her to be alone, he didn’t want to be alone. He thought about visiting his mom and dad’s graves, but it wouldn’t matter. He would see them soon enough. Who would want to spend their last minutes of life in a cemetery?

It's been a year now, think I've figured out how

How to let you go and let communication die out

Ben could still hear cries from the building, but now there were prayers, and he heard others hurry down the main staircase. The sunny day outside continued on, and birds chirped away, unaware of their imminent doom in who knows how long. He looked at his phone, no new messages. Ben was a loner, he would admit that. His only other friends were because of Rey. They would tag along on dates or go to parties together. Poe even spent the night at his place a few times and the boys would go to games together. After the break-up, they all kind of disappeared, and Ben didn’t blame them. He missed them. He missed her.

He missed their drunken confessions of love at the bar, Poe, Finn and Rose laughing around them. Not a care in the world as he held her close to his heart.

He missed their predictable and routine mornings of kisses, coffee and witty discussions on the way out the door to work.

He missed their arguments, the late night screams turned to sobs turned to moans among his sheets at 3 a.m.

I know, you know, we know you weren't

Down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know we weren't

Meant for each other and it's fine

He watched the screen, re-reading their last messages to one another. It was almost like any minute he expected her to call, her face surprising him on his home screen. Tears brimmed as the reality of what was happening settled in. The potential future he had imagined was gone and Ben choked back a sob. Everything he ever wanted to do would cease to exist, he never got to see the world, get married or have his own children. All these things he could’ve done with Rey, cut short by life itself.

Ben:

You don’t have to respond, but know that I’m always here for you for anything.

Anything.

That message held more meaning now that it had then, and Ben prayed Rey would understand that. He would do anything to try and make her happy again, for the last few hours they had to live, he was hers. Even if she didn’t want him. He wiped his arm across his wet eyes, not caring that he looked like a weeping mess.

Then, at the corner of his eye, he saw it.

Adrenaline swept down his arms and through his body at the three dot indicator that appeared across his last message. She was thinking about him! She was writing to him! Did she want to see him? Why else would she be messaging him now? Then as quick as they appeared, the dots were gone.

“Fuck.”

In a heartbeat, Ben was out his door.

But if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Not even remembering where his feet took him, Ben found himself outside hurrying towards her home. The sight of the public only made him walk faster, not wanting to waste another minute away from her in this state of chaos. Cars swerved down the streets, people running around him, some carrying bags, others carrying children. It was as disastrous as those end-of-the-world movies Ben had seen, only this time, it was actually happening. The sky was still blue and the trees gave off a vibrant, peaceful green in the summer day. The crowds and shouting in the streets however, brought him back to the realization that in a few hours, they would all be nothing.

An argument broke out over a vehicle and people began to get physical. Ben continued on. He just pushed his way down the city streets. Avoiding any conflict was a priority for him, hoping he would make it to her in one piece. The feeling of being in her arms again felt so good to him, like he was coming home. Her place wasn’t always clean, and she always had the TV volume up too loud, or let dishes in the sink too long, but it always felt like he could come and go as he wanted and she would always give him a kiss hello or goodbye. When Ben was home with Rey, he felt wanted.

And even though he only saw those three dots, it was enough for him to hope he still was.

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

The last thing Ben wanted to think about was their break-up. None of that mattered anymore, at least to him it didn’t. He continued to think about her, blocking out the horrors of the world around him. Her smile replaced his fear, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the time she slipped in front of his apartment after a snow storm. The pizza she picked up was okay, but she had a nasty bruise on her hip for days.

Soon there would be no more pizza nights, no more weekend trips, no more surprise birthday parties, no more cuddles in the dark. At least, when they broke up, there was still the chance he could have that again, with Rey or someone else. But now, Ben realized there was no other person he wanted to spend his life with but her.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight

His feet propelled him on the corner of her street. He could see the top of her building, higher than the others around it. The tears began to fall again as he hurried to the entrance. The feeling of seeing her, being around her, holding her was enough to break him down forever. She was intoxicating and he couldn’t get enough. He wrapped his hand around the railing and heaved himself, two steps at a time to her floor. He left his house for the last time, he breathed outside air for the final time, and he would see no other face but hers. Almost panting, her front door sent chills down his spine. He was saying good-bye to everything else, but was about to greet his whole world.

And there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

Ben’s fist shook, him knocking on her door could hardly be heard over the sound of the blood rushing around his brain.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right? Right?

~~~

Her eyes only widened at the screen in front of her. The black, and eerie alert had proven that all the storms, disasters, and unexplainable occurrences that had been happening were warnings of what was to come. And now it was here.

I tried to imagine your reaction

It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened

She fiddled with her phone, her toes curling under her on the couch. It was flooded with heartfelt messages from her friends, saying good-bye, that they loved her and hoped she was happy wherever she was.

“Peanut, I will never forget how much light you brought into my life. You helped me live with passion and found why I was put on this Earth. You will always be my Rey of sunshine. I love you.”

Finn. She just saw him yesterday when they went to the gym together.

“Rey, you are the best friend anyone could ask for. You have lived a life worth living and deserve every breath. You saw the best in me and there are no words to describe how much I will miss you, miss everyone, and miss life. I will see you soon amongst the stars. All my love.”

Rose. They were just planning a girls day next week, with shopping, lunch and deciding who’s house they would crash at.

“Hey sweetheart, sure you heard the news… Enjoy the time you have, you are a great gal and I hope you are surrounded by those who matter. God Bless You.”

Poe. She just helped him move some new furniture in last week with her truck, and they laughed after she hit her knee on his coffee table.

Surrounded by those who matter…

Who did matter? As much as she loved the messages, and responded with equal love and admiration, there was only one message, one person that mattered. She wiped away her tears, realizing she hadn’t cried this hard since her parents passed away. Rey was only nine then, but the pain of sobbing at the funeral were as clear as the day outside.

She pulled up his messages, never having the courage to delete them. His face on his contact was comforting to see, and she scrolled through their old conversations. Shivers went down her arms, a chill in the room and all Rey wanted was to be held. Her apartment felt colder now, with the rush of everything that happened, she didn’t want to be alone. Her kitchen was still dirty with dishes from this morning, she even had a load of laundry in the basement that she had to get later. None of it mattered, all that mattered was that she wanted him. She noticed the picture frame by her door. It was knocked down one night when Ben couldn’t keep his hands off her after dinner. They didn’t make it to the bedroom, the passion too evident in his kisses on their way home. She had felt so safe in his arms, his heartbeat loud in her ears when he held her close, filling her up with love atop her kitchen counter.

But it really got me thinkin', the night we went drinkin'

Stumbled in the house and didn't make it past the kitchen

Fear suddenly spiked in her and she began to panic, the realization of dying hitting her. In a hurry, she could do the only thing she wanted to do. His last message made her insides warm, remembering how much he cared that she was okay. She wasn’t now.

“Please come over. I’m scared and I need to see you. This is all so stupid and..”

No, no, no she can’t text him! She erased the message and sighed. What was he doing right now? Was he at home? Was he working? She tried not to remember his schedule that was practically engrained in her memory. She knew he was probably home for lunch, so he definitely saw what happened. Maybe he went to the cemetery, or maybe he is out trying to find a way to escape out of the city. Rey didn’t want to be selfish, but what she hoped was that he was thinking of her the same way she thought of him. The feeling of pulling him into her, and taking in all she was made her mind hazy and her heart flutter. He made her feel drunk just by touching her hand, or looking at her a certain way.

Ah, it's been a year now, think I've figured out how

How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

She didn’t need to see what was happening outside, too scared to see the sight. Standing up from her couch, Rey walked around her home. The trinkets and junk she had now had so much meaning. Her kitchen tools that she bought over the years, the photos of her friends, the wobbly shelf she fixed herself held books that helped her learn so much. She had some plants scattered about, the greenery making her home full of warmth and life.

And I know, you know, we know you weren't

Down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know we weren't

Meant for each other and it's fine

And every. Single. Fucking. Thing. Reminded her of him.

The tears flowed freely, and Rey imagined the thousands of memories she had of him. Their mornings at her dining table, their movie nights on her couch. There was even a useless ceramic pigeon thing on her shelf that he got her after a bad day at work to cheer her up. The empty feeling of dying alone frightened her, and she wrapped her cardigan around herself to try and feel better. It was numbing for her. Everyone knew the question: If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? People would usually say travel or do something crazy. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. Rey always thought it silly to wonder about useless things like that, focusing more on the now and trying to work to support herself.

What would she do?

But if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

She would be with Ben. She would confess how much she missed him, how she wanted him back in any way she could. She would forgive him, or beg for his forgiveness, whatever he wanted.

Running her hands through his locks, she would kiss him to the point of exhaustion, hoping he could feel her love through the breathless confessions.

She blinked back tears but they continued to fall. She would go on and on about everything she loved about him. His handsome face, his gentleness, his desire to help others, but also his stubbornness to prove he was right, his anger issues, and his need for approval were just some of the things Rey loved about him.

If he wanted, she would re-tell all their funny stories and make him laugh, desperate to see his smile, to hear his laugh. When she first met him, he was a dark, brooding, man. As she slowly pulled him out of his own mind, Rey noticed how beautiful his smile was. And when she heard him laugh for the first time, she was hooked. Hell, she would even go on about how she fell on the ice after she picked up their pizza for movie night.

It all seemed so silly then, to worry or be embarrassed about that kind of thing. But now, Rey would give anything to relive that moment. If she could go back, she would pull a giggling Ben into the snow with her and kiss him like she never had before.

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

Sky'd be falling while I hold you tight

Rey would do anything Ben wanted, as long as she was with him. By his side, for the rest of their lives, no matter how short that was. She missed how he smelled, how her felt against her, with his strong arms protecting her from the world she fought so hard against. She was strong, they both knew that. But when he saw her nightmare nights for the first time, she thought he would stop calling, stop talking and she would have to be by herself all over again. It came as a shock when he stayed, and even offered to stay up to wake her before it got too worse again.

No, there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

Eventually, the nightmares came less and less. And Rey would wake in his arms, wrapped up and protected. He would rub his thumb against her, as if saying, “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

He was her dream from the nightmares of reality.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

She drew out the sounds of the television behind her. The alert continued on for an hour and Rey knew there was nothing more to do. She was about to crawl into bed with music and hope for a quick death when..

Knock knock knock.

I know, you know, we know you weren't

Down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know we weren't

Meant for each other and it's fine

She stood still for a moment, straining to hear. Did someone just knock? Who was knocking on her door now? Should she even answer? She attempted to wipe her eyes, trying to look presentable during the end of the world. She opened the door slowly to see who stood on the other side.

But if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

She huffed, struggling to breathe, sobs taking over at the sight of him. Ben rushed through the threshold into her home, arms scooping her into his chest and lifting her off the ground. His heartbeat was still pounding from the nervousness of seeing her beautiful face once again. His breath hot and sweet against her cheek and he whispered, “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

Afraid he would pull away or even disappear, Rey dug her nails into his back, grabbing him for dear life. Crying into his shoulder, she apologized for everything and anything. He carried her until he collapsed from emotion into the living room, his own tears falling into her sweater and hair, dampening her locks. He held her shaking body in his lap, feeling like they were both where they were supposed to be at the end of it all.

They apologized and cried, shaking with emotion. Happiness to be in each other’s arms again, with fear of the unknown and inevitable. They tried not to think of how much time they wasted with the fighting. Had they known what was to happen, every fight, every argument was nothing compared to their love and need to be together.

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

Eventually they became quiet, silent tears dripped on her carpet. Their hands wrapped in the others, their legs entwined, never letting go. The TV was on but muted, soft music played from her stereo instead.

Ben spoke first, “Do you remember,” his voice was groggy and wet from crying, “when you made me run out in the rain to get your phone after you dropped it out the window on the freeway?”

She erupted into laughter, a sound that he could hear forever, “I didn’t drop it, it was the wind.”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Uh huh.”

“What about when you dared me to wear that bunny suit so we would win the costume contest!” Rey exclaimed.

“Well we did win!”

They talked and giggled, the reminder of what was happening outside forgotten. The two were too busy enjoying each others presence, catching up that they didn’t notice the distant bright white light grow brighter on the horizon.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling while I hold you tight

“Are you still having nightmares?” Ben mumbled, rubbing his fingers between a lock. Her hair still smelled like her citrus shampoo, and the sun casting light on her was a refreshing sight for his eyes.

“Sometimes..,” Rey said, “but this makes up for all of it.”

She pulled his hand from their grip, kissing his palm.

“I’m sorry. I know I shou-“

“Shh. None of that matters now. I’m just happy you’re here.

Ben smiled, “Me too.”

A vibration from the earth began to shake her home, but they didn’t notice. Ben started joking about the infamous pizza night, Rey begged him to stop, planting endless kisses to make him shut up.

“I also heard you hit your knee at Poe’s! What a klutz you are!”

“I knew he told you! What a tattletale!”

No, there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

There was so much love and hope in Ben and Rey’s eyes, they forgot everything that was happening. Ben laughed until tears of sorrow turned into tears of laughter, his stomach ached as Rey told him how she and Rose got off the wrong train stop a few days ago. They were one again, the back of Rey’s mind wondering when their wedding would be, while Ben had thought if he wanted their child to have her hair or his. They had all the time in the world to think about it.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

It was fast. It was quiet. Their gaze fixed on each other, two souls in love, the bright white light non-existent to them. It shook her home in a millisecond, their smiles forever in the others memory.

If the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

#reylo #rey #ben solo #reylo modern au #reylo fanfic #star wars fanfic #scavenger writes #reylo angst #reylo story

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