#my boi xander needs a vacation

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 19/20: I gave her a cloak. bitches love cloaks! (i'm bitches)

I also drew her staff! She has one, too :)

This nearly became Sorceress-Warlock Jacqueline from THIS AU. Didn't feel like drawing that fit tho so it's just regular canon Jacqueline, lol. (but picturing the scars and the eye patch she doesn't actually need but wears for the aesthetic was a FUN mental image at the beginning of the week! then the horrors persisted and I went WHO HAS THE SPOONS. NOT ME)

Drawing the whooshy cloak was fun. Colouring it was even MORE fun. I was going CRAZY last night trying to find a post I made where I described Jacqueline's staff?? I COULDN'T FUCKING FIND IT AND I S2G I READ IT THE OTHER DAY. LIKE EARLIER THIS WEEK. So hopefully my visual memory served me WELL and I don't find the post and go FUCKING EH at a later date, lol.

this scrimbly was very much a scrimbly lol. I think it took me like 10 minutes to doodle. I'm having a LOW ENERGY WEEK. Feelin burnt out af and dreading the weekend! Woo! Almost DIDN'T scrimbly! Thinking this week's little down spin is gonna push back Frostmas crossposting which is SUPER RUDE bc like. THE AESTHETIC. UPDATING ON THE UNLUCKY DAY. BOO!

RIGHT. DANI RANTS ASIDE, WANT SOME CS LORE/FACTS? BC I GOT SOME! WOO:

All four Frosts would pass the warlock test--the question is, do they fully embrace it? Fino does. Fiera does but like, second to the summer sprite training. Jack learns what's useful/what he wants/needs to. Jacqueline was FINE not warlocking, she's good with the snow, BUT Jack keeps nagging her to at LEAST take the test and when she passes it he's like c'mon. c'mon. warlock training. you know you want tooo I could teach youuuuu

She holds off for a VERY long time then gets schemey brain a couple of centuries down the line and goes for it. It's spoilery and I do want to keep this one close to my chest, BUT:

Essentially she learns that she has something someone needs/wants back and she can only do that by getting into the Warlock training! She uses this to try and bring two estranged people closer and when it doesn't go well she hits Jack up after hours and is like "so my plan is going. hmm. bad. let's start warlock training?" and Jack's like YEAH LET'S FUCKING GOOOO bc A) he told her so. B) he;s been wanting to get her started with the warlock biz for YEARS! AND out of ALL THE TEACHERS SHE'S COMING TO HIM (well. unofficially) and C) he is also enjoying the tea from her little scheme and about the two people in question, lol.

Anyway, enjoy the scrimble! Next week is some prohibition fun ft. Winter, I THINK. I'll have to check my notes 🤔🤔🤔

(and yes the heart clasp and pink in the staff are bc Dite)

[titsthedamnseason]

it’s not funny anymore. i need xander and spencer’s book

[lynk-zee]

Their Children…

DISCLAIMER: Can be taken as science babies if you so need ☺️

Zayne would want to name your daughter Jasmine, after his favorite flower. Next to you, she is the light of his life. Jasmine looks like a mini version of you but with Zayne’s black hair and green eyes. The perfect combination of your love. She would share his love for sweets, and his disdain for dentist visits. On his days off, Zayne would take her to the bakery to indulge in macarons, bringing home a dozen for you when you get back from your missions. The sweetest thing of all is when she saw the “MD” on his lab coat, she said proudly that it meant “my daddy”. Vacations to Snowcrest are a must. He loves teaching his little girl how to ice skate and sled with the dogs. Zayne would debate getting a sled dog for her as a pet when she’s older. After a day out on the snow, all he wants to do is cuddle up with his family in front of the fireplace whilst drinking hot cocoa.

Rafayel would have some sort of light-hearted rivalry with his son. He and Arael both just want your attention. When Arael sends him a smug look when you gush over his finger painting, it’s war. The little snot looks just like him too— except he has your eyes. Something Arael rubs in Rafayel’s face whenever he can. Their “rivalry” is nothing serious. If you ever feel like they’re going too far, just ignore the both of them. They’d end up presenting you with a painting they worked on together as an apology. Despite their strange dynamic, Rafayel adores his son as the next prince of Lemuria. So of course he spoils the shit out of him. Designer everything. He’s even gotten Arael and himself matching outfits for aesthetic photos. Your bougie boys.

Xavier absolutely adores his twins. He rounds up the plushies for playtime, creating daring missions for his little hunters to complete with their foam swords. Gently, he’ll correct their posture, reminding them that good technique starts with the back, as they wobble on their chubby little legs. Sometimes you’ll find the three of them passed out in the library, a fairytale book slipping out of Xavier’s hands as the little ones join him for an impromptu nap session. Xander and Lexie both have his blonde hair and blue eyes, complete replicas of him. When it’s time for bed, you and Xavier make shadow puppets using his light evol to tell them stories and put them to sleep.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, October 19

Buffy: He's not any guy. He's more... Oweny. Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to find. I mean, a lotta guys read. (with a goofy smile) I can read.

~~Never Kill a Boy on the First Date~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Missing Buffy by badly_knitted (Willow, Giles, Buffy, PG)

Learning to Cope by madimpossibledreamer (Buffy/Devil May Cry/Resident Evil/Background NCIS Crossover, Leon/Xander, Teen)

The Night Shift by hulettwyo (Buffy/Spike, multiple background ships, E with many warnings)

the same faces in diffеrent places by 2ndtolastrow (Gossip Girl crossover, Dawn, T)

Family by DarkVoid116 (Buffy/Spike, T)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Since You’ve Been Gone - Chapter 1 by HuonParticlesAreHarmless, myrobotheart (Stargate crossover, Giles/Buffy, M)

Not Back to the Future Rules - Chapter 1 by ladyemma42 (Buffy/Spike, E)

Merry and Xander - Chapter 1 by calikocat (Merry Gentry crossover, Xander/Larry, M)

Heart and Strength - Chapter 1 by Arlyn (Buffy/Xander, not rated)

Dress My Body All in Flowers White, Ch. 25 by othellia (Buffy/Spike, R)

A Night Without Day, Ch. 24 by HappyWhenItRains (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

No Remedy for Memory, Ch. 5 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Vacation with a vampire (Sequel to The Sphere) - Part 1, Ch. 10 by Coraline (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Bound, Ch. 19 by RavenLove12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Needs Must, Ch. 4 by EllieRose101 (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Cyberpunk Blonde, Ch. 1 by BewareTheWolf (Cyberpunk Red fusion, Giles, Scoobies, FR18)

A Night Without Day, Ch. 20-21 by HappyWhenItRains (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Waiting On My Spaceship, Ch. 1 by Chelle (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: i like your dress by chrispypapas (Buffy, worksafe)

Artwork: miss drusilla by mragidyne (worksafe, cartoon blood)

Artwork: The Slayer by gh0stlypup (Nico Goksu-Pacioretty) (Buffy, worksafe)

Artwork: New Moon Rising by unbashfulraine (Tara, worksafe)

Artwork: 🛏 BtVS 418. Where The Wild Things Are 🛏 by tmcarlee (Buffy/Riley, probably worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

5.13 Blood Ties by handsofabitterman

PODCAST: 5.01 Conviction | Angel on Top

[Recs & In Search Of]

Liam Duke's video essay on "The Body" recced by girl4music

Rec request: Books about the show's production? by CapitalAssumption355

[Fandom Discussions]

Re: Willow not reminding Buffy she is still underage in "Surprise" by mysharona1987, confusedguytoo

BOTH times Buffy dies she and Giles argue right before by rachaeljurassic

it’s so funny to me how the scoobies pay spike to do stuff/help and... by silvermars

Favorite familial ship (Buffy & Giles), a ship you hate (Buffy/Riley), a ship you stopped liking (Buffy/Angel) by takaraphoenix

[What if Faith had arrived before Buffy returned from Los Angeles?] by Gemesies and others

The Riley Finn Challenge (say something nice about him) hosted by HummusOffensive

What do you think of this crossover theory? (Firefly) by mJelly87

Passover themed episode? (Would it work?) by Elementaryfan

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[reena-jenkins]

I woke up the other day craving a Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 2 AU where Angelus DOESN'T TELL Buffy that he's lost the soul, after they fuck:

- instead, he eats a couple strangers in the rain while Buffy's sleeping, but then goes back home to play the long game. He can only tell Buffy that her darling sweet Soul Boy has vacated the premises ONCE, but messing with her head and seeing how far he can push her and generally being a dark & terrible mindfuck of a vamp could last INDEFINITELY. He doesn't really have an end goal in mind, just to keep Buffy twisting to his tune in all the ways the Watcher Diaries accounting of Angelus' history made him out to be.

And all the while, Buffy still trusts him - very "to kill this girl, you have to love her" - as Angelus slowly pulls her under his sway.

Just think of the POSSIBILITY for s2, if Angelus never spills about his missing soul! Any time Angelus gets caught out by Xander - maybe he even DELIBERATELY stages something so that Xander sees him snacking but Buffy doesn't - Buffy will double down on supporting him EVEN HARDER. In the face of a disapproving Scooby Gang, Angelus has the benefit of Buffy's perseverance of belief on his side. Every time they say, "Angel did something Bad," Buffy hears her friends/her mom say, "I don't trust your boyfriend and I don't trust YOU," and so she clings to Angelus' reassurances EVEN TIGHTER. Plus, Buffy is hella emotionally vulnerable The Morning After, and if Angelus plays his cards right, a little bit of negging and a little bit of soothing physical touch, he can have the Slayer eating out of palm of his HAND.

Giles spent a whole lot of time telling Buffy that Angelus was a master psychological manipulator for the ages. Knowing that his Slayer's been warned, but she still chooses him Ever Single Time, appeals to Angelus' inner evil. He doesn't need to go straight to the physical torture stuff. HE'S IN HER HEAD. HE MADE HER LOVE HIM.

So meanwhile, Spike & Dru have the Judge plot still happening, including the "There Is No Humanity In Him" moment with Angelus so his childer know he's back in charge, but then Angelus goes home to the apartment and insinuates himself ever deeper into the Scooby Gang's efforts to stop Spike. He gets a total thrill out of being right under their noses and seeing how far he can push the limit. The Scoobs still figure out the whole No Weapon Forged Then But I've Got A Rocket Launcher Now thing, because Buffy is smart. Angelus likes the fact that she's COULD defy him, but she just doesn't know she NEEDS to. It gives him a thrill to see that deadly competent Slayer power in action, so long as she never aims it his way.

Anyway, Dru's a big girl. She can find a new toy, now that the Judge has gone to pieces.

And possibly Dru even has a flight of fancy to wake Acathla after all, leading Buffy & Angel(us) to "team up" with Spike to stop her. Ultimately this ends with Acathla broken in pieces on the floor and Dru whimpering in pain from the psychic backlash of a demon death in her brain, but nobody gets sent to Hell. And the price of 'teaming up' with Spike means he gets free passage from the Slayer to take Dru out of town, which is good for Spike's overall survival & his lovelife because Dru's not panting after Daddy anymore.

And it's good for Buffy because she thinks it's a three birds, one stone Team Hellmouth Win.

But mostly, it's good for Angelus because with Spike out of the immediate picture, it means that Buffy's attention isn't split from Angelus at the center of her world. He's always been a possessive bastard for her attention.

And then there's MORE mind games, and possibly some porn of the "just try the handcuffs, baby, for me?" variety because Angelus likes to watch his girl squirm. MAYBE there's also some kinky bitey bloodplay, because "don't you trust my control, Buffy? I trust you not to kill me, even though every inch of my demon screams to put you in the ground when you touch me. Please let me, show me we're worth it" and it's all very dirty-bad-wrong darkfic dubcon-y goodness.

Somewhere offstage, Angelus goes out for a bite to eat and sires a new minions SPECIFICALLY to kill Jenny Calendar in a way that can't be traced back to him. Angelus gets the thrill of watching Giles grieving, Live and and In Person, while knowing that he can never be re-souled AND ALSO having the spite-fueled victory over Clan Kalderash a hundred years after the fact.

And all the while Buffy's out slaying to save the world, she comes home to the biggest Bad of them all and doesn't even SEE IT.

...or maybe she DOES, but part of Angelus' machinations is that he makes Buffy WANT IT ANYWAY. He makes her doubt herself, in the best Gaslight Girlboss kind of way.

Just think - if 'I Only Have Eyes For You' still happened, and Buffy and Angelus still get possessed, and then Angelus uses the excuse of the possession to go full Scourge of Europe on Buffy. Sure, yeah, he's got an obnoxiously sentimental schoolmarm riding his corpse like a pony, but anything Angelus does, says, or implies can be blamed on the ghosts. He has FREE REIGN to show Buffy what he looks like outside of the con, and no matter what, she's gonna Take. Him. Back. afterwards. And if Buffy manages to mix up ghost boy James' guilt with her own couldn't-prevent-Jenny's-murder feelings, well..... Angelus has always been the master of spin.

"Even when I was evil, even when I couldn't feel the soul... you were still the center of my world, Buffy."

And she falls just that little bit farther, his control cinches just a little bit tighter.

Meanwhile, Kendra's been sent after Spike & Dru, because Buffy might have let Spike leave but really she only gave him a head start to run, and Kendra's mobile while Buffy can't leave the Hellmouth.

Dru gets her one good day after all, Buffy has a Slayer Dream about Kendra's death, and then Faith shows up.

AT WHICH POINT, under the guise of "helping her face her mortality," but actually it's just more Mindfuckery and Developing Co-dependancy, Angelus points out that the Slayer line no longer runs through Buffy... So what's her purpose anymore? The Hellmouth doesn't NEED her...

And then either he turns her, in which case SUPER LOYAL FUCKED-UP VAMP FAMILY DYNAMICS with NEW CHILDE IMMORTAL BUFFY,

or

Angelus realizes that the mindfucking-with-Buffy accidentally went both ways and now HE cares about HER in a creepy-good darkly possessive kind of way. In which case, they eventually reach a point where Angelus convinces Buffy that if she REALLY loved him, she'd let him feed from her all the time as his sole blood source because Slayer Blood Is Better Than Regular Blood, and then Buffy becomes a walking talking convinced-herself-this-was-actually-her-own-idead-all-along SnakPak.

And they live happily ever after, the end.

[raindancer2004]

Vacation on Isle Esme

Word Count: 6,989 Demetri x OC Part 7. Warning; Fluff, NSFW

“What’s going on with Ally?” Felix asked over Carlisle’s shoulder “I don’t know Felix, Demetri can’t wake her” Carlisle replies “I’ll get the plane ready and go and bring them home” Felix replies leaving the room “Demetri, Felix is coming out to Rio to bring you both home” Carlisle advises him “I know you’re worried but you need to stay calm, as long as Ally’s breathing she’ll be ok. Gently lay her on her side on the bed and pack your things because as soon Felix arrives you need to be ready to leave, ok?” Carlisle continues “O-Ok. T-Thank you Carlisle” Demetri replies low.

Ally woke up in Demetri’s arms “D-Demi” “Oh Ally” He breathed “Don’t ever scare me like that again” He kissed her forehead holding her closer to him “I-I’m sorry. I’d been sick…and… felt a bit lightheaded…and…and… I’m guessing I passed out” She replied softly “I came back and found you on the bathroom floor…I-I couldn’t wake you” He said low “I’m sorry” “You’re awake, safe and in my arms, that’s all I care about for now. Felix will be here soon and Carlisle is waiting for us back at the castle” He says quietly as she snuggles into him “I love you Dem” “I love you too.”

“Demetri, Ally” Felix calls out when he arrives “In here” Demetri calls out; Felix enters the bedroom and sees them both lying on the bed, Ally’s eyes closed “Is…Is she ok?” Felix asks voice shaky “Yea, she came round a few hours ago. She’s sleeping now though” Felix nods “I can’t begin to tell you how scared I was Fe, when I came back and found her…” Demetri trailed off looking into the bathroom “I can imagine D…Come on let’s get you both home, Carlisle’s waiting for you” Demetri nods and carries Ally out of the house as Felix grabs the suitcases.

Once back in the castle Carlisle comes to Demetri and Ally’s room to check on her “How are you feeling Ally?” He asks “Nauseous, a little light-headed again” Ally answered quietly “Ok, let’s have a look at you” Carlisle adds but before he can Ally runs into the bathroom and throws up what little food she ate for breakfast. “Carlisle is-is she going to ok?” Demetri asks concern clearly shown on his face “I can’t lose her” “Yes Demetri. She’ll be just fine as long as she takes my advice and you support her 100%” Carlisle replies “Of course I’ll support her. Why wouldn’t I?” Demetri says as he walks into the bathroom; putting her hair into a low ponytail before sitting down beside her rubbing her back gently. “Ally, I know what’s wrong with you” Carlisle says standing in the bathroom doorway “W-What is it?” She asks low not looking up “You’re pregnant Ally” Carlisle replies “Pr-pregnant? But th-that’s not…Oh my god…” Ally struggles to string a reply together before throwing up again. She looks over at Demetri; a look of surprise clearly shown in on his face. “How?” Demetri asks “Well now Demetri at your age I would have thought you knew how babies were made” Carlisle said smirking; Ally choked back a laugh “I know that Carlisle, I meant how could I let this happen? Aro told us how after seeing Edward’s and Renesmee’s thoughts that Bella died just after she gave birth…” Ally put her hand on his arm “I should have remembered that. I should been more careful with you mi amore” He turned her to face him and looked into her eyes “Forgive me. Please” He begged low “There is nothing to forgive my love. I get to have a baby with you, my husband, the man I love” She cups his face in her hands and places a kiss to his lips.

“All that matters now is that Ally follows my advice” Carlisle says “Of course Carlisle. Will you be staying until the baby arrives?” “Yes. I’ll be your doctor through this. I know what to expect this time around. You will need to drink blood daily as the baby requires it and it’ll help keep you healthy through the pregnancy. I will perform a caesarean when it’s time to deliver the baby. We just need to work out roughly how far along you are” Carlisle replies “She needs to drink blood? But she’s human Carlisle” Demetri asks thinking he may have heard wrong “Yes Demetri. We figured that out a little late with Bella I’m afraid” “Ok. When do I need to start drinking blood Carlisle?” She asked “As soon as possible” He replied.

There was a knock on the door “Hi baby girl. How are you feeling?” Renee asks as she wraps her arms around Ally “I’m ok mom” She replied “Do you know why you passed out whilst you were away?” “Yes mom. It turns out I’m pregnant” Ally responds “W-what? How is that possible?” Renee asks shocked “It turns out that male vampires are able to father children with human females. We only found this out last year when Bella got pregnant” Carlisle replies “Wait. Bella’s a mom too? Why wasn’t I told?” “Because Bella’s a vampire now and humans aren’t allowed to know about us” Carlisle replies “Bella only has Charlie in her life because of her friend Jake” He adds “I need you mom” Ally tightens her hold around Renee “I’m here baby girl” Renee says holding Ally closer stroking her hair “Are you happy about the news?” “Yes mom. We are” “Then congratulations to you both” Renee says smiling reaching out to Demetri who steps forward wrapping one arm around Ally and the other around Renee “Thank you Renee” He says low.

Once Carlisle and Renee leave, Ally goes to the closet to change and places her hand on her stomach “I-I have a baby bump” She says low, Demetri having followed her into the closet now notices the slight swelling of Ally’s stomach and wrapped him arms around her from behind resting his hands on her bump “How-how did I not notice before?” “We were otherwise engaged Demi” She says chuckling lightly, she feels him smile against her neck “You look so beautiful darling” He spoke softly in her ear before placing a kiss to her temple “I love you cara and I’m right here with you” Ally smiled and turned in his arms “I love you too Dem”

The following day Carlisle comes to check on Ally bringing her some blood bags, Esme coming with him. Alice and Jasper come by shortly afterwards “Congratulations you two” Alice says grinning wide, gently hugging Ally then Demetri. “You know you’re going to have to stop sending human/vampire couples to Isle Esme for their honeymoon, right mom? Because we’re currently two for two. There’s obviously ‘something’ about that place” Jasper says laughing; Esme smiles but doesn’t answer him as Carlisle and Demetri choke back a laugh “Yea, mom and Marcus are not allowed to go to Isle Esme together whilst she’s still human” Ally says pointing at Carlisle and Esme; both of them nodding at her smiling.

The following morning Demetri, Ally and Felix are watching TV and Demetri is making sure Ally drinks the cup of blood Carlisle bought by as she’s snuggled up beside him. “Hi sweetie, just me. Thought we could catch up” Jane said as she entered the room. “Sounds good” Ally replies “So what happened with you and Felix after we left for Rio? I mean you two were dancing all evening together” Ally asks curiously. “Felix walked me back to me room at the end of the night and kissed me goodnight. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant” Jane replies with a little smile “Aww. That’s so sweet” Ally says smiling at Jane and Felix. “That goodnight kiss became two…which then led to something more intimate” Felix said smiling; Jane looked at her hands, if she was human she’d be blushing “See Dem I told you there was something between them” Ally says nudging Demetri’s arm “Just because they spent the night together it doesn’t mean they’re actually together though” He says eyeing Felix who just smirks at him “He held me in his arms afterwards, like how Demetri holds you when you sleep” Jane says quietly “Aww so does this mean…” Ally started but stopped when Felix wrapped his arms around Jane and she snuggled into his side “Told you” Ally whispers low in Demetri’s ear; Demetri smiles “Wonder what Alec thinks about the two of you” He muses “I think it’s funny that Jane still pain drops his ass despite them being intimate with one another” Alec answers smiling, entering the room.

“How’s Ally doing?” Felix asked as he entered Demetri’s room a few nights later “She’s doing ok. Carlisle said she’s handling the pregnancy better than Bella did, but I think that’s due to Carlisle knowing what to expect this time around. I mean Ally has been drinking blood since we got back whereas apparently it took them about a week before they realised that Bella needed to drink blood to get her through it” “Well that’s good at least. You’re lucky Carlisle extended his stay with us” Felix replied “Yea, I don’t think it was luck, I think it was Alice” Demetri said smiling looking down Ally asleep in his arms “You think she knew?” “Yes Fe, I think at some point whilst we were away, she had a vision and told Carlisle. He called me just after I found her passed out; asked me if she was ok. He seemed too calm and wasn’t surprised by her symptoms, in fact he had a supply of blood bags ready and waiting for her” “Never thought of it like that before, either way it’s a good thing they’re here” Felix added, Demetri nodded.

Demetri, Felix and Alec had to go on a mission to deal with a few rogues in Spain and were gone for two days; so Ally decided to use some of this time to google baby names; writing down some ideas to discuss with Demetri when he got back.

The night he returns home Demetri and Alyssa sit and discuss baby names in front of the fire “We need to have a think about baby names” Demetri said looking at Ally. “I’m already ahead of you. I had a think about baby names whilst you were away and decided that I’d like to honour your Greek heritage; so I googled Greek names and for a girl I wrote down my three favourite; Catalina – it means chaste / pure, Olena – means torch of light and Sirena – meaning enchantress. My favourite three for a boy are; Galen – it means calm / peaceful, Nikolaos – means victor of people and Xander – means defender of man. What do you think?” She asks holding his hands in hers “Wow! You have given it some thought and it means a lot to me that you want to honour my Greek heritage. I quite like Catalina for a girl and Galen for a boy” Demetri responded smiling “We really are made for each other” Demetri looks at her eyebrow raised “Those were my favourite names from the list too. Did you have any ideas?” “No, that’s why I thought we could discuss baby names, but we have our favourites now.” Demetri replied smiling. “Ok then but for now it’s Baby Volturi” Ally said placing a hand on her baby bump; one of Demetri’s hands doing the same.

Later that night Demetri held Ally in his arms as she slept ‘I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad’ he thought to himself smiling. Ally was woken up by the baby moving about “Oh” She said rolling over feeling the baby kick “Give me your hand Demi” She says placing his hand on her belly “What are you…” He was cut off when he felt the baby kick his hand; Ally looked over to see shock then happiness wash over his face. The baby kicked again “Not sure he’s a fan of your cold hands” She laughed “Or maybe he’s just saying hi to daddy, isn’t that right little one?” Demetri says to her belly and the baby kicks again “See daddy was right” He sounded a bit smug; he then proceeded to talk to the baby quietly whilst Ally went back to sleep, telling the baby all about how he met mommy, how he’s looking forward to meeting him and how he will love and protect them both forever.

Ally woke up to find Demetri on his laptop beside her in bed “Morning mi amore. Sleep well?” “Morning Demi. Mmm once the baby stopped kicking” She replied “What are up to?” “Looking online at cribs, never realised there were so many to choose from, but I like this one. It’s light brown in colour so it will go well in the nursery. It’s easy to assemble and turns into bed when they’re old enough to need one” He replies “That sounds great Demi” “Glad you like it as it arrives the day after tomorrow”

They turned the empty room opposite theirs into a nursery for the baby; everyone lending a hand to get everything ready for the baby’s arrival. The walls were painted cream and Esme and Ally painted a jungle themed mural on one wall complete with tigers. Alice and Jasper bought a pair of big stuffed elephants that sat in a corner near some brightly coloured building blocks “We couldn’t decide between the blue or beige elephant so we bought both” Alice said smiling “Of course you did” Ally replied smiling. Demetri assembled the crib and the chest of drawers on his own refusing any help but he let Felix put the shelves up when Felix declared it was his ‘duty’ as uncle to help get the room prepared.

Renee and Ally celebrated Christmas with Marcus and Demetri by watching Christmas movies together whilst Renee and Ally ate a small Christmas dinner, although Ally had to drink a glass of blood afterwards in order to satisfy the baby’s need “Sorry mom, this must seem weird to you” Ally said low apologising to Renee “Don’t apologise. I get it the baby needs blood; he is half vampire after all. I’m just looking forward to meeting the little one” Renee replies smiling “I think it’s time we exchanged presents” Marcus said handing Renee two beautifully wrapped presents; the first one being a deep blue knee length short sleeve dress, the second being a first edition copy of her favourite book ‘Pride and Prejudice’ “Thank you Marcus, the dress is gorgeous and I love the book” She kisses his lips “This is for you. I hope you like it” Renee said handing him his gift; a copy of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ “It’s perfect mi amore” Marcus said giving Renee a kiss “I noticed your copy was looking a bit battered and I wasn’t sure what else to get you” She replied smiling. Demetri handed Ally a beautifully wrapped box and inside was mosaic photo frame with the word ‘Family’ across the top “I thought we could put pictures of us and the baby in it. I hear humans do that sort of thing” He said looking at Ally with a big grin “We do and it’s a great idea, thank you” She kissed his lips and gave him a hug before passing him his gift; ‘First Time Parent’ parenting book “Figured it would help you and Felix out whilst I’m going through my transformation” She said smiling wide; Renee and Marcus trying not to laugh “I love it thank you. I must confess I bought a parenting book myself a few days ago” He responded wrapping his arms around her “I have no idea how to take care of a baby so I’m hoping your mom helps too” He added looking at Renee “Of course I’ll help that’s what Nanas are for” She replied smiling and snuggled into Marcus’ side.

Everyone gathered on the castle roof to watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks that were being let off around the city “Happy New Year mi amore” Demetri whispered in Ally’s Ear “Happy New Year to you too” She leant up placing a kiss to his lips.

January 6th – Baby Volturi’s arrival.

Carlisle and Jasper had turned one of the guest rooms into a make-shift hospital room ready for Ally’s caesarean. That morning Demetri was fussing over Ally “How are you? Do you need anything? How’s the baby?” “Demi calm down, I’m fine; the baby’s fine, the only thing I need is you. Come and sit with me…I need a hug” She replied patting the space beside her on the sofa; he sat beside her and gently held her burying his nose in her hair letting her scent calm him. A few hours later Demetri and Ally made their way to the room Carlisle had set up for them; he and Renee were waiting for them “How are you today Ally?” Carlisle asked as Demetri helped her get comfortable on the bed “I’m ok thanks, just a little nervous” She answered low “You’ll be ok, I promise. You’ve handled your pregnancy a lot better than Bella handled hers, but then I knew what to expect this time” He said reassuringly “I’ll be here with you the entire time amore” Demetri says softly stroking her hair and placing a kiss to her forehead. Renee was acting as the nurse as Demetri didn’t want any other vampires in the room with them due to the blood. “Dem you can wait outside if you need to; please don’t make yourself uncomfortable” Ally squeezes his hand a little “Ally I’m fine and there is nowhere else I would rather be right now” Demetri kisses the back of her hand his eyes closed; his forehead resting gently against hers, Renee watching them with a big smile on her face ‘He truly does love and adore her’ she thinks to herself. The silence in the room is broken with the soft cries of a baby “Congratulations it’s a healthy baby girl” Carlisle says handing the baby to Demetri.

Demetri looked down at his newborn daughter in his arms and the first thing he noticed was her blue eyes…his blue eyes; the blue eyes he lost when he became immortal. He fell in love for the second time in his long life “Hello little one, I’m your daddy and I love you so very much. I will protect you and your mommy forever” He placed a kiss to her forehead and breathed in her scent then looking up at his mate he smiled “Thank you. You’ve given me something I never thought I’d have in this life, a family. I think I love you more now than ever Ally” He leant down capturing her lips in a soft kiss “I didn’t do it on my own handsome; she’s fifty percent you, so thank you to you too.” She said smiling before kissing him “I love you so much Demi”

“Sorry to interrupt the lovely moment but I think there’s another one” Carlisle says looking at Demetri. Demetri's eyes widen in shock. “Santo cazzo…” He breathed, the swear word slipping out effortlessly. Carlisle's eyebrows raised, but he didn't say anything. "There's…there's two..?? You're telling me I have two children..?" Demetri added, an awed smile appearing on his face as he exchanged a glance with Ally. She looked just as blindsided as he felt in that moment. He couldn’t believe it; he had been blessed with not just one, but two beautiful children, to help carry on his bloodline.

“Let me hold her Dem” Ally asked and he passed her their daughter to hold. Carlisle then handed Demetri his newborn son; who had Ally’s chocolate brown eyes. Demetri looked down at his son and fell in love for the third time in his long life “Hello son, I’m your daddy and I love you so very much” He held him close; his eyes filling with venom “I’ll protect you forever too” Demetri placed a kiss to his head; breathing in his scent “He’s perfect. They’re both perfect. Thank you Ally, mi amore.” He kissed her lips softly “He’s fifty percent you too Demi” Ally chuckled.

Carlisle stitched Ally up leaving her with a neat scar and administered some morphine for the pain. “Thank you Carlisle. I really appreciate everything you have done for us” Demetri said shaking his hand “You’re very welcome. I’m glad things worked out for you both” Carlisle replied smiling.

There’s a knock at the door “Only us” Esme says and she and Marcus enter the room “Hi Ally, how are you?” Esme asks “I’m ok thanks to Carlisle, mom and Demi” She replies “Would you like to meet our grandchildren Marcus?” Renee asks “I would love…wait…grandchildren?” He asks surprised “Yes master; Ally and I have son and a daughter” Demetri replies, smiling proudly “Congratulations my dear boy” Marcus smiled wide shaking his hand “And you Ally my dear are most amazing. Congratulations” He kisses her forehead “Thank you Marcus” Ally says smiling. Marcus moves to stand by Renee who is now holding their granddaughter; Demetri sits beside Ally as he passes their son to her. “Have you decided on their names?” Esme asked curious “Well we had a boy’s name and a girl’s name picked out ready as we didn’t know what we were having, so I suppose we can use both names now. Demetri would you like to tell them?” Ally asked smiling; Demetri nodded and smiled back “I’d like to introduce you all to our son Galen Volturi and our daughter Catalina Volturi” “Beautiful names and Greek if I’m not mistaken” Esme replies “Thank you. Ally wanted to honour my Greek heritage so she googled Greek baby names” Demetri replied smiling “I love the names you’ve chosen” Renee adds smiling.

Carlisle carried Ally carefully back to her and Demetri’s shared room so Demetri could turn her whilst Renee and Esme cleaned and dressed the twins, staying in the guest room with them whilst Demetri and Ally spent a little bit of time together before he changed her “I’ll be in the hallway if you need me Demetri” Carlisle said “Thank you.”

Demetri climbed on the bed carefully beside Ally and wrapped his arm around her “I just want to hold you once more before I turn you. I’m going to miss hearing your heartbeat when I hold you and when you sleep bedside me. I’m also going to miss your warmth. I love you so much Ally.” “I love you too” Ally responds; he unwraps his arm from her and positions himself so he is hovering above her, leaning down he kisses her neck, venom collecting in his mouth before biting her; letting his venom flow through her system, he then licks the wound to close it. “I’ll see you in a few days mi amore” He kisses her lips and rests his forehead against hers “I love you.”

Esme and Renee bring the twins to Demetri’s room and place them in the crib together “I’m going to have to get another crib as soon as possible, now there’s two babies” Demetri said “In fact we’re going to have a second set of everything” He continued “It was definitely a surprise when Carlisle said there was a second baby” Renee added “Would you like us to change Ally into something different?” Esme asks “Yes, if you wouldn’t mind. There’s a green sleeveless dress hanging up in her closet” Demetri replies. Renee and Esme change Ally into the dress and brush her hair out before leaving and going back to their rooms “I’ll be back a little later to help with the twins” Renee says as she gets ready to leave “Thank you Renee, I’d appreciate that” He replies.

Just as Renee and Esme leave Felix comes to see Demetri “”Hey Fe come meet my beautiful children” He said pride evident in his voice “Children as in plural?” Felix sounded shocked; Demetri chuckled “Yes Fe, Ally had twins. I have a son and a daughter and they’re gorgeous… perfect, like their mom” “Congratulations D. Our little human really is amazing” Felix replied looking at Ally and smiling “She not our little human any more Fe. She’s going through her transformation” “She’s still amazing and looks so peaceful D” “Carlisle gave her some morphine after her caesarean so that’s helping with the initial part of the transformation” Demetri smiled lovingly at Ally.

Meanwhile Ally is going through her transformation; ‘I felt Demi kiss my neck before he bit me letting his venom enter my system…the initial pain...wow! I know that mom and Esme changed me into a clean dress following my caesarean. It feels like my body is on fire; every nerve ending burns with his venom. I can feel my blood being replaced with venom; Demi’s venom. This is too much…I-I can’t do this.’ “I love you cara mia” She hears Demetri’s voice. ‘I can do this; I must do this… for Demi; for Galen and…Catalina.’ She not tries writhe too much despite the pain she is in; knowing that Demetri would feel bad enough, as he is the reason she is in this much pain.

On the second day of Ally’s transformation Demetri and Felix were holding the twins whilst watching The Hunger Games when they noticed Ally’s heartbeat slowing down “I know Bella completed her transformation in two days but I didn’t expect Ally to do the same” Demetri said looking over his shoulder “Carlisle did say that is was possible and let’s face it the fact they were both prepared for their change probably helps speed up the process for them” Felix says nodding in her direction. They decide to take the twins to Renee’s room “Can you watch them for me please? I think Ally’s going to wake up today and I’d like to take her hunting before she sees them again” Demetri asks “Of course I can, just come and find us when you’re ready” Renee responds smiling “Hello little ones, ready to spend the day with Nana and Grandpa?” The twins cooed in response.

Demetri returned to his and Ally’s shared room and stood at the balcony doors looking out over the garden; waiting for Ally to wake up as her heart beat had slowed right down now so he knew it would be soon. Ally’s heart stopped beating; the room now completely silent and Demetri looked over his shoulder to see her open her now red eyes. She could see everything more clearly; her eyes scanning the room and they fell on Demetri and she smiled wide, getting off the bed and running into his arms hugging him close “Oomph. You’re a lot stronger than I am now amore. It’s your turn not to break me” Demetri said into her ear “Sorry Demi” She pulled back a little and he took her in; eyes looking her up and down “Stunning baby” He ran his fingers through her hair that was now longer, brighter and fuller than before. He leans down and kisses her lips; his hands cupping her face “I love you Demi” She kisses him “I love you too” “How are the twins?” She asks “They’re amazing cara mia and so gorgeous” He smiles wide “Can I see them?” “I want to take you hunting first. Come on” He takes her hand in his and they make their way out of the castle, luckily it’s a cloudy day so they don’t have to worry about being exposed.

They leave Volterra to go hunting; Ally noticing every little thing as they run together including how fast Demetri is. He stops running and turns to catch her in his arms; Ally coming to a stop in his embrace. “Close your eyes and listen, tell me what you can hear” She closed her eyes and focused on listening to her surroundings. “I can hear faint chatter of people below; birds in the trees, traffic in the distance. It’s amazing Dem” “You’ve focused really well cara. Come with me and I’ll show you how to hunt. Stay close”

Ten minutes later they’re standing on the roof a building looking down at an alleyway that was about 5 minute walk from a bar. “Keep your eyes on those two” Demetri said pointing to a couple of drunks leaving the bar and making their way towards the alleyway; he took her hand in his “Jump with me cara” They landed silently in the alleyway below; Ally caught the scent of the couple and squeezed Demetri’s hand tightly “It’s ok cara. I’ve got you” She nods and brings her other hand to her throat feeling the burn “Not long now amore, just do as I do” He kisses her temple and releases her hand as the two men enter the alley and make their way towards them; once they are near enough she hears Dem say ���Now amore” She watches as he grabs the man and sinks his teeth into his neck, the other goes to run but Ally is quicker and grabs him around the throat holding him to her chest and bites down on his neck, the warm blood flowing down her throat easing the burn. When she had drained the human she released him and he fell to the ground “Well done amore” Demetri says smiling and kisses her “Are you still thirsty?” “Thank you babe and just a little” She kisses him back “Let’s dispose of these two and then we’ll find you someone else.” Demetri snaps their necks and throws the couple into the nearby river and watches as the bodies wash away. “Come on cara” He takes her hand in his and they make their way towards another part of the city where they ‘share’ a human before disposing of them “You were amazing cara. You were fast, efficient and they were very clean kills for a newborn. I’m so proud of you” He wraps his arm around her, pulling her to his chest and kisses her “I learnt from the best” She kissed him back “Let’s go home” She laced her fingers with his and they made their way back to the castle.

They arrive back at the castle to find Felix and the twins waiting for them “How did our little newborn do?” Felix asks “She did great. She was fast, efficient and very clean for a newborn” Demetri replies his face and voice full of pride “Well done sweetie” Jane says smiling “Yes well done Ally. I must say you seem very calm for a newborn” Alec sounded impressed “Hopefully Aro will be just as pleased with you after the next tour” Felix adds; Demetri continues to look down at her with adoration, feeling proud of his mate “You think they’ll let me join the next ‘tour’?” She asks “Yes, especially once they hear how well you did on your first hunt” Felix replied.

Demetri and Ally make their way back to their room stopping by Marcus and Renee’s room to collect the twins “You look amazing my dear” Marcus says smiling at Ally “Thank you Marcus…or is it master now?” She replied “Marcus will do my dear” He smiled at her; Renee stayed seated on the sofa waiting for Ally to approach her “Hi mom” Ally sat beside her and carefully wrapped her arms around her “Hi baby girl” Renee replies hugging her back “Thank you for helping Demi with the twins” “No need to thank me that’s what Nanas are for. I’m looking forward to watching them grow up and spending forever with you all” “Me too mom” Ally replies smiling. “I’m impressed with her self-control Demetri, I must confess I was little worried how she’d be around Renee” Marcus said too low for Ally and Renee to hear “Thank you master. She also did amazingly well on her first hunt; she was fast, efficient and they were clean kills” He added smiling; Marcus chuckled and Demetri looked at him with an eyebrow raised “I think you’d be proud of Ally no matter what she was like as a newborn. I mean she could kill the postman tomorrow and you still be smiling and telling us all how proud of her you are” Demetri laughed too “You’re right master, I would be proud either way, but you know I’d cover for her, take responsibility for her” He said looking at Marcus “And that my dear boy is why we are allowing her to stay with us during her newborn phase. We know that you would take care of any ‘slip ups’ before they became an issue and so would Felix, Jane and Alec. She is also a new mom and we couldn’t separate her from you and the babies” Marcus replies “I’m guessing it also helps that Ally is now your step-daughter?” Demetri asks “It does. Your loyalty, your position as an elite guard and you being my personal bodyguard also went in her favour” Marcus added smiling “I have always thought of you as a son and now you are officially my son-in-law. We have a family to protect now” Marcus placed a hand on Demetri’s shoulder and nodded to the seating area where Ally and Renee were holding Galen and Catalina “Thank you master, that means a lot coming from you” Demetri responded “You can call me Marcus when we are not ‘working’ Demetri” “Ok, that’s going to take a little getting used to master…I mean Marcus” Demetri said smiling.

Once back in their room Demetri sat on the sofa beside Ally holding their daughter in his arms “I don’t care how quickly my little girl grows up; she’s not dating till she’s like 30, and even then if I don’t like him he’s gone” He said to Ally who was holding their son in her arms. “Now Dem, come on. You remember what it was like when my sister disapproved of you…of us” She replied “Yes I do. You stayed with me anyway. Hell you even left home at 17 and married me… gave me two beautiful children” He replied smirking but that smirk faded quickly when he realised what he just said “Annnnnd…there it is” Ally replied smirking and snuggled up to him “Oh Sshh you” He said pouting, kissing her hair.

Once they put the twins to bed they cuddled up on the sofa and watched a film together “Just for the record though I don’t regret anything and I am proud to be your wife and the mother of your children” “Glad to hear it mi amore as I am proud to be your husband and the father of your children in return”

Ally’s hand made its way down Demetri’s stomach fingertips brushing over his crotch and down his thigh then back up to his crotch cupping him and squeezing gently; he growled low “You like that?” She purred and repeated her action before climbing onto his lap straddling him, placing her hands on his cheeks she captured him in a passionate kiss; she bit his lip gently as she grinded against his hardening cock, his lips parting allowing her to deepen the kiss tongues dancing together. ‘He tastes better than I remember’ she thought to herself and started to unbutton his shirt her hands moving over his chest nails lightly scratching him; a light growl left him and he reached  over and ripped off the dress she was wearing “Hey! I liked that dress” “I’ll buy you two new ones cara” He said smiling before getting off the sofa and laying her down on the rug in front of the fireplace; removing his trousers, boxers and her lace panties before settling himself between her legs. She wrapped her legs around him then rolled them over so she was on top and removed her bra “I’ll be gentle with you. I promise” She smiled and winked at him “You’d better” He winked back.

“Remember the last time we were in this position with you on top?” He asks smiling; she smiled back at him, and if she had still been human, she would've blushed for sure. "Oh, I remember..." She answered, gazing down at him. He smirked, his eyes taking in all of his mate's glorious beauty. "God, look at you, Ally..." He breathed, in awe. She bit back another smile, and he laughed softly. "What? Say it, amore." He coaxed gently. She gestured at him lovingly. "Me? Look at YOU, Dem... You're beautiful... I mean…" She said, quickly becoming a little flustered. He laughed again, taking her hands in his. "No, it's okay; I know what you meant..." He reassured her. "Come here, amore..." He added, his red eyes darkening slightly. Ally let a sharp little gasp escape her as she finally, finally lowered herself down onto her mate. Oh, sweet heavens alive, did he feel amazing...! She let out a soft groan at the same time Demetri did, as every last little part of her was now completely claimed by him. "Jesus, Ally..." Demetri said in a ragged, breathless whisper. "I know, Dem... I know…" She answered, moving her hips against his. As she looked down into those dark ruby eyes of his, he gave her a sudden knowing little smile. "What?" She asked, her own crimson irises sparkling with humour. "Just... We're the same temperature now, baby." He remarked, smirking up at her. Ally's eyes widened as she realized he was right: what was once ice, and cold and somewhat foreign to her before, was now warmth, and heat and just... Home. Comfortable, perfect, made for her in every way and shape, possible.

She bit her lip as she looked down at him. He gazed back up at her, his complete love and awe of her newfound immortal soul reflected in his eyes. "Yes, we are... it's perfect. You’re perfect..." She murmured, leaning down to kiss him. He kissed her back with fervour, urgency, a heat that he'd had to hold back on a little bit, when she was still human. But now that Ally was immortal, well... all bets were off. As his tongue intertwined with hers, he let out a shaky breath, her name escaping his lips in a soft moan. She kissed him harder in response, at the same time moving her hips forward on him so he entered her a little bit deeper than before. The new angle caused a groan to escape both of them; the sensations and heightened awareness was all too much, but in the most delicious way. Her head fell back, eyes closed and lips parted slightly as she continued to move her hips over his; his hands trailing up her sides and taking her breasts in his hands squeezing lightly “Ahh” She breathed her hands resting on his chest; her entire body alight from the lightest of touches, he gently thrusted up into her hitting a new spot inside her that had her crying out his name “Demi” He thrusted up into her again as she grinded against him; letting out a hiss as her walls clenched around him, Ally quickened her pace as she chased her release “That’s it baby….” He encouraged feeling his release was close too. Demetri moved one hand down her body until he reached her clit pinching and circling the bundle of nerves and watched in awe as she experienced her first orgasm as a newborn. Ally felt Demetri pull her over the edge and into the abyss; her entire body tingling from head to toe “Oh…God…Yes!” She cried out; Demetri’s release followed “Oh…Ally…”

He sat up still inside her holding her close as he thrusted up into her; riding out their orgasms together. She wrapped her arms around him kissing his neck teeth grazing over his skin before she bit down on his neck and he let out a cry of ecstasy feeling her venom tingle against his neck “You’re mine” She purred in his ear; pride filling him to know she had marked him, claimed him as hers, the way he had marked her, claimed her as his when she was still human. “I thought my first time with you as a human was amazing…but god that was…” “I know baby” He kissed her softly holding her closer to him.

He laid her down on the rug and pulling almost all the way out of her; he ran his hand up her thigh holding her leg to his side as he re-entered her filling her fully, deeply, completely being at one with her. He roughly thrusted into her capturing her lips with his muffling her cry; her nails scratching up his back as he continued to take her roughly, growling into her ear “Sweet Jesus…Ally!” Him enjoying being able to be with his mate intimately without the fear of hurting her “I’m never going to get enough of you baby” He left a trail of open-mouthed kisses along her neck, his teeth grazing her skin “How is that different to when I was human Demi?” She chuckled; he growled in response and thrusted a little rougher that time; a breathless moan leaving their lips as they came together, their orgasms washing over them entirely.

He pulled the blanket down off the sofa and placed it over them as he held her in his arms “This is the part where you would normally fall asleep” He said low “I can always pretend to sleep…if you’d like” She replied winking at him “Don’t you dare amore. I’m only holding you to be a gentleman Ally” He winked at her “I plan to take you again…seeing as you no longer need to sleep” She gasped slightly as he re-entered her “I was hoping you’d take me again” She purred in his ear.

[jlf23tumble]

While we excitedly wait for some amazing new mom Harry fic would you maybe rec some of your favorites that are already out there?

Oh, man, I was born to answer this ask...actually, I've done it before AND I even made a "the signs as mpreg Harry fics" for @vibey-lesbian, but timeless masterposts about Harry Styles as a mom can always stand an update! I legit planned to do this earlier this morning, but work kicked my ass, and I am literally FINALLY free to do it, so let's all get inspired for @momrryfest2020, hmmmm???

I hemmed and hawed about how to sort all these because it can be a little overwhelming, so I think I'm gonna just do rough categories, under the cut!

Canon Canyon: Could it happen this way? You tell me, y/n!!

Little Wonder, @sweariwouldnt. I love that Kim from Modest is a tagged character in this, but all in all, this is sweet and fluffy and so cinematic, that scene with the pills! The abortion discussion!

The Sunshine Stays, quickedween/ @becomeawendybird. I don't know how to describe it, but this fic is a pretty and warm and cozy sweater.

Put It Into Words, orphan_account. Love me a good babymoon, and this features some body worship/praise plus canon a/b/o, which always makes me smile because yeah! Why not!

got a river for a soul, cabinbythesea. DIRTY TALKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Teddy Bear Princess series, noelle1224. I promise you, the entire series is worth a read, but pregnant princess is where shit kicks OFF.

Funkink! Most of these involve dirty talk, roleplay, and happiness

When the Wolves Come Out, @rosemarianthyme. I'm gonna put this down under breeding kink, and maybe that's a stretch because it's not the main focus, but for the love of god, read and enjoy!

Baby Tell Me, @star55. This author has written quite a few amazing parent fics recently, but this one is on the kink side, girl direction, the entire SERIES, geddit!

slow and steady, @cabinbythesea. MORE DIRTY TALK, we love to see it!

I Just Wanna Taste It, @homosociallyyours. I feel like this is 10000000% canon, and I love the entire concept because on one hand, the WS video is all WaTeRmElOn Is PuSsY, but on the other, prego belly vibe, god, the mind of Harry Styles, the levels, the fine lines, if you will.

I May Be Crazy, Don't Mind Me (Say, Boy, Let's Not Talk Too Much), @shapeoflou. This feels so canon, yet it is not: basically, Harry working some pregnancy kink talk into the mix.

Angskink! Most of these involve dirty talk, roleplay, and sadness

Fertile Ground, Blake/ @newleafover. THIS STORY, MY GODDDDD, it's perfection, it's short, it's one of my all-time faves in terms of the emotion and ground covered, just masterfully done, I love that I can reach out and chat with the author about garlic (among other things), like, constantly, do yourself a favor and read every fic they’ve ever written, you won’t regret!

I Want Your Belly, @sulkingroom. Both Melissa and @vondrostes have written some INCREDIBLE Harry/other pregnancy kink fics lately (Terran's zayn/xander/harry, help), but Jesus, this one! Yeah! Adam out there, making dreams come true!

violence of my own touch, 14hrflight/ @silverfoxlouis. Honestly? Anything Chi has written for these two is a must read, but the overall ANGST in this fic, ouchhhhhh.

i cannot reach your heart, HappyPrincess/ @pattern-pals. This fic is a heart-clencher, the dirty talk, the aftermath, and it’s the second part in a series, but the whole thing is worth the read and the tears on two levels.

AUs that feel like real-life AUs, pure romcom vibes only

Answer All Your Wishes, @sadaveniren. I don't know the U this is based on (Tom Fletcher/Giovanna Fletcher, blogging????), but if you want to see pinterest Harry living his best WAG life, here you go!

Falling for me won't be a mistake, @rearviewdreamer. Workaholic doctor Harry Styles let's it all hang loose on vacation, oopsie baby!

You look so beautiful in this light, @hopelesswriter. One of the very few fics that uses mommy as a kink name instead of daddy, and I sure hope there's more to come!

i'll make this feel like home, @zouisclimax. I love that this list features not one (1) but two (2) amazing fics where Harry carries another man’s baby, yet it all works out.

hard to confess, by @hereforlou. THIS FIC, mannnnnnnn, it makes you want to slap some people back into reality, but the way it all unfolds, the dramatic bathtub scene, yeah.

Roses in Bloom series, mybeanieandme and radadusta. Honestly, this is like watching a movie that already exists, and credit to the authors because it feels like it's an AU based on a U, yet I don't think it exists? Is Stevie Nicks at that baby shower? I still need to revisit, but i don't think so, boo.

taste on my tongue (just can't get enough of you), messyjessy08. Yes, I would seriously watch the hallmark/lifetime/logo wherever it ends up movie of new mother omega harry squirting milk in a sexy way.

Time to move on to individual author territory!

ballsdeepinjesus bb: one of my fave authors in this fandom, period, and they produced not one (1) but two (2) related-ish masterpieces

oh baby baby, the reason i breathe is you. God, even just reading the tags makes me smile, Harry and his life plans and how it all works out in a 9k fic, be still my heart.

deep in my heart i know there's only you. The tag about competitive parenting classes? Just know I pictured it during that SNL skit.

Supernope City: another fave author, someone who just knocked it out of the park in this genre, too

Can't Hide It, You Might As Well Embrace It. There are only two (2) Harry Potter AUs that I will read, and this one is one of them!!

Needing You More and More, Let's Give Love a Try. The other fic on this list with the specific trope of "Harry's pregnant with another man's baby, but it doesn't even matter".

Jaerie Junction: I can't even begin to tell you how much I love the way Jaerie gets into pregnancy kink at a level that speaks to my soul, here are JUST A FEW gems!

Next Exit. Gimme that sweet, sweet gotta-pee desperation.

never boring. Lactation kink at a Christmas party? How is this perfection only 2k??

I'm not that other guy. Lactation kink at work?? How is this perfection only 3.6k??

freaks from the internet. GOD, THIS SERIES RUINED ME, SO GOOD (basically, omega Harry has a breast-milk-selling side hustle, and his ex is...intrigued)

I Think You're Already Home. This one was a WIP that I would drop everything to absorb: famous agoraphobic alpha Louis Tomlinson secluded in his home, hiring omega Harry Styles to birth his child? OKAY!

to change how you see and what you believe. The dirty talk! THE ROLEPLAY!! AND THEN IT HAPPENS!!! Plus yoga.

Finally, some epic tales that just ended or are still in progress:

Say Something, @kingsofeverything. LISTEN, I have been this fic's fan since it was a random idea on Lauren's blog, bring on the timestamps! Basic idea is 50YO divorced omega Harry, with three grown daughters, meets 28YO alpha Louis through a heat-help service, and oopsie baby!

little bitty rattle (and all our dreams are comin' true), @itsmiz. The long-prayed-for (by me) sequel to the Sometimes Green and Sometimes Blue universe, pregnant omega Harry (and all kinds of related insecurities)

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 7

As always thanks to @monstersandmaw​ for sharing ice orcs with me. 

Now, get some popcorn and a drink and lets watch things blow up in our readers face and her past comes to bite her in the ass, shall we? 

Jewel of the North 

Part 7

On Sunday, Noah and yourself finished your dishes for the family dinner and no matter what Noah tried to say, you were just on edge and anxious about it and you couldn’t shake your gut feeling that it was a bad idea and that something was going to go wrong. He even tried banging the nerves out of you, twice. But all that did was push you to try to hide how nervous and anxious you were. 

The only one Noah warned you about was his sister Alorna who was a stuck up priss and a hypocritical one at that, how she loved to preach about the traditional ways but didn’t feel she needed to live by them herself and was the most “Anglo” out of all of them whereas Neena had practiced what she preached and how Alorna was always at odds with everyone, especially Neena and brought drama wherever she went and to take whatever she would say with a big grain of salt. 

Meanwhile Summer’s tea leaves told her that you were feeling anxious and that you were going to be judged and compared to Neena and she practically drilled into everyone that they needed to be nice and gentle, warm and welcoming and accepting which they were all to happy to comply. 

“Alorna, you’re still coming for the family dinner tomorrow right?” Summer asked as she was on the phone with her the day before. 

“Of course I’m coming, I’m getting the crab now, John got huge tips this week, he gets off at 4 and we’ll be there by five, no problem.” She reassured her mother.  

“And make sure you all bring your best manners too, she’s nervous to meet everyone. We have to be warm and welcoming.” Summer insisted. 

“She’s the one who should bring her best manners, has anyone even checked her out? How do we know she’s not some gold digger or someone working for the developers or the oil company or even the prospectors? They’re getting more and more scheming and devious.” She argued. 

“I can swear to you that she isn’t. She’s come on vacation and made herself and instrument in The God’s Will and I have seen it with my own eyes. She is a blessing and if you scare away this blessing, the gods will not look favorably on you. And if you and your family can’t be nice, you won’t be welcome. You can eat all that crab at your own home and I’ll tell her that you couldn’t make it.” Summer offered in ultimatum. 

Alorna glared in outrage at her phone. 

“No, we’ll be there and we will show her as much respect as she shows us.” Alorna spat before she ended the call before she got what she came for and went home and got out her own best outfit, she was going to be the prettiest woman there while she dug into the name she was given, she looked on Facebook and found so many Zara Kingsley’s but when she crossreferenced LMT’s and Great Lakes and was pretty sure she found you- especially when in the comments, she realized that “Zara” was a nick name. Your full name was a mouthful, but you had quite the following as she went through the facebook feed and the linked businesses facebooks. You owned three seperate businesses, but they were all spa businesses. Cushy jobs, you were beautiful- sure, and your home spa did look luxurious and obviously why you looked as good as you did for being as old as you were, you had your very own spa at your disposal. You were obviously spoiled and used to getting and having everything. 

She then found old pictures of your husband who had not had a Facebook, he was- rather hideous, he was perhaps one of the uglier orcs she had ever seen, so that meant in her mind, he either had a really good personality, a really great dick, he worshiped you like a goddess or he was wealthy and came from a wealthy family and most likely, all of those factors were the only justifications a woman as beautiful as you would be with someone like him. Your children on the other hand were really adorable, your son was handsome and had a facebook of his own which posted a lot of pictures of him in modern dance which she could appreciate, but then she found the pictures and videos of him in ballet, which she thought was rather hysterical if not absurd, shameful and dishonorable. Orc boys did not belong in ballet. Elven boys and human boys and fae boys of course, especially moura boys who were born flamboyant, but not orcs, it was ridiculous. He looked so out of place and it was just... embarrassing. Were you trying to raise a pansy? You took a perfectly good orc boy and turned him into a flower is what you did, heaven forbid you give Noah a son and do the same thing to him as you did your own. There was no way he was going to continue the family line of his natural father. With a few pictures she found your son’s snake channel on You Tube and a little google search told her that it was an expensive hobby which all pointed to your family having a lot of money. 

Your girl though, she was into MMA and martial arts in general, now that- she could approve of. Orcs were natural born warriors and she was a natural. She was also into hunting judging by the pictures of her with game she killed when she went hunting with her grandpa. Well at least the dishonor that your son bathed and rolled around it was not something she shared. She felt pity for your daughter for having such a brother. The poor thing couldn’t choose her family. Well hopefully Noah would straighten Xander out and get him out of those tights and ballet shoes and get him out in the woods or working with him in the plane or something, that was the only way your son could be saved, because you sure weren’t. And doing some math, it was only after your husband died that your son got into ballet and your husband was probably rolling in his grave if he knew how you���ve destroyed his son. The lack of a proper masculine role model was clearly damaging. It was your son that needed rescuing, if not a full on intervention. 

And since you were a widow and judging by your posts, you were a widow for about two years now, you probably used all of your husband’s life insurance policy payout to either buy or build that house that was looking like a small mansion from these images on the business’ facebooks or you or your husband came from money and all of these were just hobbies for you. And when she found the post about what your husband did, another quick google search at what that kind of position payed and if you were wealthy, the wealthy always got life insurance and if you followed the rule of thumb, you got at least a million dollar pay out and that sure did look like a million dollar house to her. How foolish, you used all of your husband’s money to build a mansion with it. But one look at it all and she doubted you’d give this up for Noah. Noah was poor and his house was practically a trailer compared to your mansion, a humble cottage really. Which to her, meant one thing, you were probably going to be taking Noah and Sakura home with you- if this was ever going to go anywhere and the thought made her stomach sour, you were going to buy one of the best pieces of the Arctic Tundra and take it home and put it on a shelf with any other souvineer. The audacity you had!

The only way she was ever going to think otherwise is if you and your family moved up here. And with your tastes for the luxurious, there was really only a few homes that would be suitable because there was no way you would think Noah’s humble abode would be good enough for a princess like you, much less your son. Of course if that happened, you’d probably buy her dream house which was currently on the market. And she’d probably resent you for that too. You were only a blessing to them because you had money. And you could use whatever money your “mansion” sold for and “invest” it in the family. That was all there was too it. Well the least you could do is perhaps get Noah and maybe her parents out of their debt. Maybe pay off their houses if you were humble enough to move in with Noah. And if you’d be treating the family with your spa services for free and uphold all the traditions that Neena wanted to uphold without question or complaint. That was the only way she was going to be happy about this. If you could prove yourself in that way because if she or anyone else in the family had to pay for anything, you would practically be taking advantage of them from her moral point of view. 

Come Sunday you felt like you were a bundle of nerves and one of the ways you found you could try to bury it was you got dressed up in your cutest, most flattering outfit and got dolled up so that you looked picture perfect and tried to make yourself look as sweet and as non-threatening and hopefully likable as possible before you made sure Sakura was looking particularly darling and perfectly precious and did her hair up in curls and braids and got her a new outfit and bow before Noah took you and Sakura to his parent’s house where everyone but Alorna and her husband John were already gathered, all of them eagerly awaiting your arrival, in particular Neena’s family who were especially excited to meet you.

You already knew Summer who introduced Neena’s parents, Isla and Tonrar, Neena’s brother Yakone and his wife Merideth and their children. Neena’s sister Miki and her husband Dave and their kids and Neena’s other sister Sedna and her husband Max and all of their kids before she had you meet the rest of her family- Ukluk, who you recognized from a picture on your parent’s wall. Noah’s brother Nago and his wife Samantha and their kids and of course Noah’s sister Sesi who you got to briefly meet yesterday and her husband Suka and their kids and you were so grateful that you brought so much of all your dishes so that hopefully everyone would get a taste as they all helped you bring in all your dishes and beer and wine and other alcohol from Noah’s truck after they all gave you a series of big hugs as you realized both families were big huggers which was fine by you because each hug you received seemed to settle your nerves a little more and reassure you a little more that it was going to be ok and that perhaps you had been worrying for nothing. All of Sakura’s cousins were awesome and had asked you all kinds of questions about your kids which you were happy to answer. All the boys especially were interested in seeing pictures of your son’s snakes while the girls liked to see the pictures of the other animals in your ‘menagerie’ while all the guys dug into the beer especially and talked among themselves in the living room, leaving the women to talk in the kitchen, around the kitchen island before the kids left to go play in the playroom, Sakura leaving her new hair bow with you so it wouldn't’ get hurt. 

“How do you keep getting so lucky? A priestess and a massage therapist?” Suka jabbed at Noah’s arm and Noah could only shrug but his grin was awfully smug, if not proud, as they sat on the couch together and drank the ridiculously good beer you had brought. 

“And she’s a good cook, her food is making my stomach growl.” Dave admitted. 

“Yeah it was hard not to eat it as she was prepping it all day yesterday. You should have seen the spread she made on Tuesday.” Noah bragged. “She made me and Sakura something called a ‘gosbe’ it’s her clan’s tradition of a wooing feast which I didn’t know that was a thing until days later, after the fact which I wish I knew because it worked like a charm. She made these huge tomahawk steaks, one for each of us and cooked perfectly medium rare with all these sauteed mushrooms, caramelized onions, the mushroom risotto, candied yams with alcohol which I didn’t know you could do but she did and they were the best. She made brussel sprouts with bacon and they were actually really good and broccoli with cheddar that was also amazing. Like, I had never had a vegetable as tasty as she made those. And a death by cheese mac and cheese and rolls, all of it she made by hand, from scratch, I’m pretty sure I gained 20 lbs from that one meal and I was fighting, fighting not to nail her to every surface of my house on Tuesday and she managed to clean my house while she made all that too, like she was wonder woman, made it into a game with Sakura so Sakura helped out too.” Noah revealed as all of his brothers and brothers in law all keened and whimpered at just the sounds of the food. 

“So she’s perfect, you found the unicorn. They stopped making women like that fifty years ago I think.” Nago teased as Noah just laughed but couldn’t argue about that. 

“And she’s a widow?” Max questioned. 

“Yup, been one for about two years and it has only been recently that her kids were ok with her moving on.” Noah answered. 

“Ah, well have you talked to them yet?” Ukluk asked. 

“I did last night, they’re understandably really weary because of extenuating circumstances they have come into a little bit of inheritance and they have already had to deal with vultures and wolves of the ‘walking upright variety’ so her and her kids are pretty gunshy. So it’s just gonna take a lot of time and effort to prove to them that I’m not one too or a threat and not out to take advantage of them in any way- so it’s gonna be a work in progress.” Noah ventured as he chanced a look in the kitchen to get a quick read on you and your body language to make sure you were ok as he noticed you were practically inbetween all of them and the center of attention which you looked like you were handling fairly well which made him grin. 

He had told you that you had been worrying over nothing and that his family and Neena’s family were going to like you and that you had nothing to worry about in the first place. As long as you were yourself and genuine and honest, you were going to be just fine and right now you looked so natural and so in place in his parent’s kitchen, just having wine like one of the girls, besides his own house, you looked like you belonged there and he couldn’t help but think of what you had told Doug yesterday, that you were a jewel and you could decide what setting you wanted to be in and right now, in his humble opinion, you were in your proper setting.  

“But honestly, the way she is with Sakura, even if she didn’t cook or clean or have a career or anything like that. That alone is proof that she’s an answered prayer for Sakura and me.” Noah affirmed as he turned his attention back to all the guys. 

“Well I’m happy for you guys.” Ukluk encouraged his son as Noah smiled and nodded. 

“So when you say she came into some inheritance, what kind of inheritance?” Nago gently prodded. 

“I don’t know and frankly I’m scared of asking or finding out because apparently everyone who finds out becomes a gold digger and comes after her. Because that’s what happened to Doug Kizzo last night. Turned that asshole into a gold digging bootlicker overnight. We were at Taylor’s house getting the rest of her stuff so she can stay with me and we weren’t there five minutes and Doug rolled in there with the biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen in my life, wearing a suit and he begged her to leave me for him and threw me and all the native clans under the bus, insulting every tradition we have and tried to appeal to her “anglo sensibilities” and that he would worship her like a goddess and cater to her every whim and desire and some crazy, off his rocker bullshit and Zara shut him down and had Taylor ready to call the cops because she’s already had guys find out about it and quit their jobs, sell everything they had to buy a ferrari and pull up in her driveway from across the lower 48, ready to throw her kids into summer camp and take her to Europa to sweep her off her feet, kind of crazy bullshit so what none of us are going to do is ask her about it or try to play FBI- looking into it. She just wants to be a normal mom and LMT, and we’re going to give her that and I swear to every god in the realm if any of you go digging into her, I’ll disown you.” Noah warned them. 

“Because we’re better than that.” Ukluk insisted. 

“That won’t be a problem right boys?” Tonrar insisted as he looked out over the rest of them as they all nodded even though Suka was looking like he was gonna die because the curiosity was killing him. 

Meanwhile back in the kitchen- 

“Aren’t you just as pretty as a picture.” Isla fawned as she gave you another big hug after you had popped open all the bottles of wine for the ladies who were all eager to try it all the different kinds with you. 

“Thank you.” You graciously thanked her. 

“How much did you spend on all this?” Sesi asked as she looked at it all. 

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you like it, it’s money well spent. When I was flying around with Noah this week, I unexpectedly got to work on his clients who all paid me really well, which I didn’t think I would be making any money while I was up here, so I used some of that money to splurge on this- so don’t worry about me exceeding my budget or anything like that, no one is going to go hungry or anything and this isn’t going to be any kind of hardship for me, I did it because I wanted to and no- no one is going to be paying me back. It’s a gift.” You reassured them as you refilled a few of their glasses, Isla’s and Summer’s especially. 

“Well, you didn’t need to go all out. Even if you had just brought one, it would have been more than enough because Sakura told me on Wednesday when I was helping watch her with Summer that when she hugged you for the first time on Monday, it felt like she was hugging her mom again and when you watched her on Tuesday and cooked with her and played with her and most importantly prayed with her in Intuk and you were so incredibly respectful of her heritage and wanted to keep those traditions alive, you have no idea how much all of that meant to all of us.” She praised.

“You’re welcome, I was raised to be respectful of all cultures and traditions, especially when they were not my own. And not to be weird- but the feeling towards Sakura was mutual, when I hugged her for the first time, it just felt like I was hugging my own children after I gave birth to them and I got to hold them for the first time. That’s the only way I can explain it because I’m sure all of you have had that- ‘there you are, my most precious possession, I have waited so long to finally meet you, I’m gonna love you forever’ feeling when you held your own kids the first time after birth? That’s what I felt when I got to hold her for the first time and from there I was helpless to fight against all my mothering ‘must protect and care for this child’- instincts towards her and Noah of course has been nothing but amazing from the start. Really nice, really respectful, really professional, supportive, understanding and of course protective without being smothering or overbearing which is a hard balance for anyone.” You bravely confessed as you chanced a glance at Noah to make sure he was at least close in case you needed saving because Noah had told you to tell them that and that they would believe you and would be so happy and relieved to hear that and that it would endear you to them the way it endeared you to him. So for them to hear that confession, you might as well have brought out a kitten or the most adorable puppy ever, all the women fawned at hearing that before they started hugging you again as a few of them got a little teary eyed. 

“You have no idea how long and how hard all of us have been praying for that exact thing to happen. And it’s not weird at all- that’s The Gods’ Will, the fact that you said those exact words without any prompting from us- tells us that there is no better or no safer place for Sakura than with you and you have been the one we’ve been waiting for.” She reassured you and you felt a little gutted because you were sure she was gonna take those words back when she found out you were potentially taking Sakura away. 

“So speaking of traditions, are there any in particular that you really want to see Sakura hold true to?” You asked thoughtfully. 

“Well there’s the summer festival, those are always a really big deal up here, there’s the singing and dancing, which we don’t expect you to perform, especially on such short notice. ” Isla explained. 

“Ok, is there anything else? Other than the daily prayers, the language and the summer festival?” You prodded before you noticed a few of them looked questioningly to each other as you could see a few of them seemed to want to tell you something but a thinly veiled look from the others were keeping them quiet. 

“Well since Noah is the head of the house, he should probably be the one to decide which traditions he wants Sakura to follow.” Sedna suggested before the kids came barreling through the kitchen chasing each other. 

“Hey Sakura,” you called out to her before she turned and came back to you. 

“Yeah Mama?” Sakura asked. 

“I was talking to your family about traditions, which ones do you really want to keep true to?” You asked her. 

“The Talik!” Sakura answered.  

“Cool, what is it?” You asked. 

“It’s basically a mother daughter dance at the summer festival.” Summer supplied. 

“Aw, is it really complicated?” You asked. 

“It can be.” Summer nodded. 

“But I can try to teach you later Mama, you’re a really good dancer when you were dancing with my Daddy yesterday in the kitchen while you were cooking so you should pick it up really easy.” Sakura reassured you which got all the women to fawn at the news Noah and you danced in the kitchen while cooking, so romantic. 

“And the Kaskae,” Sakura insisted. “It’s where all the warchief’s and their sons dance, it’s really fun, Daddy’s always really good in it.” She explained. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize he was a warchief’s son.” You answered. 

“Grandson. It’s Ukluk’s father who’s the warchief and he had eight sons and several daughters each of those sons had a ton of kids too so it ends up being just about every guy in the clan that dances in that dance.” Summer explained. 

“And the Kunik.” Sakura giggled which got the other women to giggle with her. 

“Uh oh, what’s the kunik?” You asked playfully as you tried not to giggle yourself. 

“It means ‘kiss’ so it’s the newly wed dance, all those who either got married or will get married dance together.” Isla explained. 

“I see.” You nodded and your instincts told you that what Doug was alluding to was probably this and wondered if there was a ritualistic part where the younger ones would take part in that dance at least ceremonially. 

“Well it all sounds really fun and I can’t wait to see it in person.” You assured them before Sakura got called back to play with the kids. 

“And did my mama tell you she’s an heiress! She’s teaching me how to be one too!” Sakura added proudly before she ran off as you blushed and smiled and laughed a little nervously as they looked from Sakura’s retreating fram to you as Noah nearly spit out his beer as he practically jumped off the couch to come into the kitchen to intervene and stopped Sakura in her tracks. 

“Honey, that’s her personal business, and we don’t talk about anyone’s personal business.” Noah began to get after her which got everyone to pause and look at each other as Suka practically bounced off the couch too and got another beer which happened to be in the kitchen. 

“It’s ok, it’s the truth. I wasn’t born into money and I didn’t necessarily marry into it either. But I did inherit a few estates when my grandparents died and I’ve been managing them ever since,  that’s all, it’s a long, sad, story.” You informed them as you tried to waive off the details before Sakura slipped away to join her cousins again. 

“I wouldn’t mind hearing it.” Isla gently prodded. Before you took a deep breath and stiffened up your posture before Noah came over and put his arm around you and held you to his side as he was ready to come to your defense. 

“Me either.” Suka and Sesi murmured as Noah glared at them as all the women noticed how defensive Noah was getting and realized from your body language you were getting defensive too. 

“You know what, Noah’s right, we don’t need to know, don’t worry about it.” Samantha dismissed. 

“Agreed, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then don’t. We were just curious.” Meredith seconded. 

“Zara, really, you don’t have to say anything, you were telling me on Monday how you’ve dealt with people who’ve acted like vultures and wolves once they found out about it and you’ve learned to be very defensive about it because you don’t want to get eaten alive or preyed upon over it and you wanted to teach Sakura those same lessons but without her having to go through it herself and honestly that was more than enough for me. You’re basically a member of the family and all of us are more than willing and ready to defend you against those who mean you harm. I know you will defend Sakura against those who mean her harm too and that’s all that matters. You don’t know us that well, you don’t have to bare your soul and all your scars to us when you don’t know us that well. Especially when we have yet to show you ours.” Summer very calmly and very warmly reassured you from her spot next to you as you breathed out in relief and smiled appreciatively at her. 

“Honey, if it’s that big of a deal to you, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry, I was just curious. Sakura is an heiress too but dealing with it has been nothing but headaches for all of us. And she’s had her own wolves and vultures and it honestly gives me peace that you have experience in dealing with that and can help her. That’s all I need to know.” Isla apologized profusely which made you feel guilty but the validation was like a soothing balm. 

“Look, you can’t blame her, she just had Doug Kizzo turn into a vulture just last night, and she’s still a little shaken up and on high alert from that.” Noah pointed out as all the girls gasped in horror. 

“He’s an asshole already, I can’t imagine what he was like if he turned into a vulture.” Samantha realized with a grimace as did all the other people who at this point had come to gather around in the kitchen. 

“What did that bastard do?” Isla growled. 

“Well first, Greg spent the last two days hyping him up and gassing him and Taylor told me that Doug had actually been camping out at her house, waiting to ambush me when I would eventually return to get my stuff, even though Taylor has been practically screaming at the top of her lungs that it’s not gonna work and that I’m not interested and they wouldn’t listen to her, like at all. Because when I went on a blind date with him on Monday, I picked up on the narcissistic asshole immediately and it wasn’t the worst date I’ve ever been on but he took me out earning him and not needing him or his income as a blow to his ego. So I get there, the second I’m through the door Greg texted Doug to tell him I’m there, as I’m gathering my personal belongings so I can continue to stay with Noah- Doug comes hauling ass over to their house and makes this huge, stupid, grand romantic gesture with a hundred roses, wearing a suit and bathing in cologne and hair gel.” You began before a few of them sniggered a laugh. 

“And he’s making this big long spiel about how he’s ready to follow me to the ends of the earth, worship me like the goddess I am, how he’ll make sure I never have to work, let alone cook or clean for the rest of my life.” You recalled. 

“Which is rich because he can’t do either, I know because my sister is his ex wife and he didn’t do jack shit when he was married to her, hence, the divorce.” Samantha spat in disgust. 

“He would probably use her inheritance to hire a maid and a personal chef.” Noah sneered and you watched as they all seemed to roll their eyes or snigger another laugh. 

“Anyway, so I tell him to take a hike and ask him what happened between Monday and yesterday because Monday he was so not interested and yesterday he’s obsessive and so instead of admitting he’s a douchebag, he sees Noah who came in to check on me and he throws Noah under the bus and outright attacks Noah and his character and thank the gods that Noah was able to have some self control because I was ready to beat his ass and if it hadn’t been for Noah to get me out of that situation, the police would have gotten involved, again, because they always do when that happens.” You revealed as all of them were just staring in various stages of disgust and horror. 

“No wonder you didn’t want to say anything! Oh you poor thing. That’s just awful, no wonder you’re defensive, you’ve had to be to survive that.” Isla realized. 

“Well the worst part is what that’s done to her kids, both of her kids are understandably super weary of strangers, which is why I’m not taking any offense to their own defensive attitude towards me.” Noah pointed out. 

“Oh I didn’t think of that. Do they just..hate every stranger now because of that?” Sedna asked. 

“Just about, because the first couple guys who pulled an “Alex” which is the name of the first guy who tried that on us, he actually talked his own kids into stalking mine in school, like he pulled his kids out of their school and put them into my kid’s school for the sole purpose of getting as close as possible to mine, like one of them, he had him repeat a grade to get into my son’s class and had all of his kids phishing for information to use against them and me and try to divide and conquer my family.” You revealed. 

“No!” Isla and the other women blanched. 

“Oh I’m gonna be sick.” Summer groaned. 

“That’s unthinkable, like, that’s so messed up. Like they didn’t have a shred of decency or respect or honor to do that.” Isla insisted. 

“No they didn’t, so once the police got involved, then he backed off and once I and my kids got a restraining order against him and his kids, he went to jail for getting his kids involved. But by the third time an asshole tried the whole ‘swooping in with a big romantic gesture’ kind of thing, they got wise and they’re beyond fed up with it and when they had to change schools when we moved into the new house this past September, they had a hard time making friends because they just plain don’t like new people. They have taken a similar stance that the mafia takes which is- you have to be introduced to them by someone they trust. Which is basically, they only have a handful of friends that they had made before everything went to shit when most of their support system all died within the span of three months and that handful of people who they trust, those are the only people who they trust to introduce new people to them. And they have gotten really, really good at reading people and deciphering whether someone is being genuine with them and they have their own tests for it. And anyone who fails, they immediately cut off and once that decision is made, they don’t look back.” You warned them. 

“So what happened the second time a guy tried to make a grand gesture?” Sesi asked curiously. 

“I called the cops and my dogs wouldn’t let them get out of their car and actually bit the bumpers and mirrors off the car.  The third time it happened, my son had the police on the phone and my daughter, getting impatient, got her father’s rifle out of the safe from the second story, had the rifle resting on the window sill, and shot the guy’s tires out and held him at gunpoint until the police did arrive, which was terrifying. Of course, them hearing gunshots and hearing Xander screaming ‘Stop shooting! Put the gun down!’ They thought the guy was the one who had the gun and had me and my kids at gunpoint so they came barreling in and Xander managed to get the gun from Skylar and get it put away by the time the cops rolled into the driveway and I’m inside consoling both of them. And the police beat this guy into the concrete of my driveway, like, he came in looking like a million bucks and he left looking like a road penny. And after that I learned to change all the safe codes, because my husband and I were already responsible gun owners before, but now, they are really locked away and only ever used under adult supervision and my kids got into therapy because that was really, really traumatic for both of them and me. And now I have a gate at my driveway and all kinds of cameras all over my property and all my clients get a special code whenever they come to have their treatments.” You explained. 

“And that’s what you’re walking into?” Suka asked Noah. 

“Yup.” Noah nodded. 

“You’re a braver man than I am.” Suka admitted. 

“That’s for sure.” Sedna muttered as Sesi glared her. 

“It’s just gonna take time and effort. Besides, I kinda like her, and I want to keep her around, she kinda makes me happy, and Sakura happy. Sure she has enough baggage to fill a jumbo jet, she’s been through hell, it’s kind of expected at this point.” Noah tried to joke which got you to laugh. 

“Yeah, that’s true, so here’s why we’re all like this but please don’t repeat any of this, so eleven years ago when I was in massage school, my school had a clinic for the students to get their practical learning hours in and sometimes clients of the clinic really click with you and bond to you and end up following you as clients once you graduate and that happened to me. Even though, I got pregnant when I was in school because the massage teacher swore that two women out of every class get pregnant, Well I had a big class and I was one of five and that’s how I conceived Xander, but anyway, I picked up about 2 dozen older couples as clients- who were between my parent’s age and my grandparents age at the time. And these wonderful people watched my belly grow and felt my babies kick and got me baby shower presents and saw me through both of my pregnancies and watched my kids grow up and in the process of living and working and befriending each other, we grew really really close as friends and they basically adopted me as a grandkid because I took such good care of them because most of them either didn’t have children or the ones that did, their children were out state and they never got to see each other so I took care of them because my own maternal and paternal grandparents were also out of state but they had other members of the extended family close to them to take care of them.” You began. 

“So at the time they didn’t need much because almost all of them were physically mobile and had all their faculties and mental clarity and their independence and I was able to help them keep that precious independence for as long as possible so that they didn’t have to go into nursing homes and they could continue to take care of themselves. And then about five years ago, the pneumonia was really bad that year and almost all of them lost their spouses. Some lost husbands or some lost wives and they were left all alone but they still wanted to be independent and so a lot of them would just come over to my house, I’d make them breakfast, have a pot of tea or coffee and hang out and they would watch my kids and cook me lunch and sometimes dinner like any other grandparent occasionally does so I could work out of my home office while my husband went into work and each one had their own specific day where they got to play grandparents and they got to celebrate all the high holidays with me and my family so they wouldn’t be alone. And then two years ago my husband Andy died at work from an accident, out of the blue and I was completely blindsided by it and if it wasn’t for them, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it. And they all paid for me to meet with their financial advisors and lawyers and helped me invest and structure Andy’s life insurance policy payouts so that I could live modestly off the interest instead of using it all up trying to pay off debt and stuff and still trying to pay for the house because at the time, the house I am living in now was still under construction and they barely knocked the delapedated house down and cleared it out and dug the foundations of the old farm house out that had been there. And the house we were going to build was our dream house that his parents had helped us finance, he had gotten a really good raise at work, most of our debt was getting paid down, we weren’t going to expand our family and I was working from home and we made all these plans and just as things got started, it all came crashing down. So it was, really awful timing but they helped me get through it and they helped me use all the money I had come into from his death- wisely and invest it well, so well in fact that I was able to take just the interest off of most of it and replace my husband’s income with just the interest so myself and my children would be taken care of so I wouldn’t have to overextend myself trying to work full time to be the primary caregiver and caretaker and primary breadwinner because being a single parent is really hard and really expensive.”  You explained. 

“Wow, that’s really smart to invest it though.” Meredith nodded in agreement as did the others. 

“And so anyway, we get through that, and one of them told me that when he passed away, he was leaving everything he had to me and so I just assumed it was just his house which was a nice house in the suberbs and his car which was a nice daily driver and I thought was really sweet and agreed to it because he didn’t have any kids or any surviving family that he knew too well and he felt I was deserving, little did I know the guy had a couple million dollars in the bank and a really old, really rare, really amazing sports car in his garage that was also worth a fortune but I digress. What I also didn’t know is all of them, all of my adopted grandparents even though they knew each other through me and befriended each other, they all decided separately to all go to their lawyers, and none of them used the same lawyers and all of them left me either something really valuable in their estates in the cases where they had kids, or in the 15+ cases where they didn’t have any kids or grandkids- they left me everything they had but none of them told each other or me, only one told me that that’s what they were going to do for me but because of my confidentiality agreement, I didn’t tell any of the others that because anything anyone discloses to me, especially while I’m working and in session- I never repeat, that’s part of the job because I can get sued for breaking that client confidentiality, that’s how serious it is. Anyway, so then just a few months after Andy died, just as everything seemed to be settling down and I was learning how to live without him and how to juggle everything and find a new groove and make progress and still try to build the house, another round of pneumonia came around and killed all of my surviving adopted grandparents off within the span of a week and a half, because they all decided to get together one night and play bridge at someone else’s house and that someone else had it and passed it to them. When they first got sick and I took them to the doctor and they got diagnosed with either pneumonia or double pneumonia, I had hospice called in for only a couple of days and boom, it felt like overnight, they just all- died…” You explained as you tried not to cry at the memory as everyone got so quiet just listening intently to you. 

“And for me, it was absolutely hectic because no sooner had I gotten all their animals and took all their animals home with me along with their valuables like jewelry and important paperwork like deeds and titles and bank records, I had to go back and clean out their fridges and freezers and cupboards of all the food so nothing would spoil and I would be at the food banks dropping it all off and then I would get another call from hospice for another one because I was their power of attorney and I was informed that another passed and I just did a cycle of- they’re dead, take all the animals home, come back, clean out the fridge, the freezer, the cupboards, give all the food to the food banks and all their clothes to Goodwill, then come back and give the house a good cleaning and then lock it up and move on to the next one’- all while arranging or helping to arrange- 26 funerals within a week. I was preparing and planning and executing 26 funerals all at the same time and it felt like just one big long funeral to me and practically slept in the same black dress for a week and I was beyond numb by the end of it and my parents moved down from the northern Great Lakes to the Southern Great Lakes to be with me and the kids and help me through it all and another week after that as I was finalizing all of their final affairs, that’s when I learned that I had inherited everything from 15+ couples and then lots of somethings from the other 11. So now I have 30 plus houses in my care and they’re just...sitting there, winterized and empty. And I am still, two years later, overwhelmed by it all. So um, please don’t get mad at me or Noah but I was talking to Noah about it and he suggested that we could flip them which had been my plans initially anyway. But they’re all very dated and would need to be updated before they could be sold on the market. So since Noah’s season ends in September slash October, he offered that he and Sakura would come down for the winter, get Sakura in school and Noah could work on flipping the houses for an hourly rate and a percentage of the final sale while I continued running my own businesses since it’s the fall, winter and spring that are my busiest times of the year and that’s when I make the biggest bulk of my own income and just see how that goes.” You suggested as you held your breath and waited for the floor to drop as they all looked from you to Noah expectantly but otherwise didn’t react negatively, but mostly just looking for a confirmation. 

“But that is contingent on Zara’s kids meeting me and liking me and approving of that idea because those houses are part of their inheritance too and they have every reason and every right to be weary of me until they get to know me and I have a chance to earn their respect and trust because of their shared past, I understand that they’re a family unit and they’re part of the package but when they do get to meet me and if they like me and if we even get go that far, I think it’s gonna be fun, I had a blast building my house and helping build everyone else’s houses and help build this house even. And all things considered, Sakura would have been going to school either way and she would have done it either up here or she can do it down there and I would prefer her to go down there because she’ll be with her kids and make new friends. Plus Zara’s kids are into a lot of extracurriculars that the Frozen Tundra just doesn’t have up here and I’m not gonna ask them to give any of those up, especially for me, especially since they haven’t met me in person yet. So right now they’re coming up with how that’s gonna happen and hopefully we’ll find a way to make it work and hopefully we’ll be able to get along. Plus Sakura might get the advantage of getting a new perspective and a fresh start which we both sorely need right now and she may end up getting into the same extracurriculars that Zara’s kids are into.” Noah added as he rubbed soothing circles into your back from his spot right next to you. 

“What kind of extracurriculars are your kids into?” Sesi asked curiously. 

“Ballet, modern dance, tumbling, gymnastics, martial arts, hockey, hunting, fishing, archery, knives, snakes, horses and just 4H in general.” You listed off as all of their eyebrows rose in surprise. 

“Yeah, we have the hunting, fishing and archery up here and the hockey and some martial arts but that’s...that’s it.” Miki answered. 

“So like, half of them so unless both of your kids are into both, one of them isn’t going to be happy about it.” Sedna realized. 

“And both of them need to be happy with the arrangement, I won’t settle for less and I don’t want them to settle either, I mean if this was the other way around, and I had two kids instead of one and only one of them would have what they’re into available to them while the other had nothing, it would be a no go deal for me because their happiness is more important than mine and Zara and her children shouldn’t have to give up everything they love and sacrifice their happiness for anything.” Noah insisted as they all had to nod along that that was a good and fair argument. 

“But snakes? Really?” Sedna asked as she grimaced at the thought. 

“Yeah my son is really into animals and breeds ball pythons as a hobby and he’s hand raised all our chickens from chicks and he manages the menagerie that I inherited really well. He’s very detailed and specific and likes to have things ‘just so’ and he’s one of those- likes to have every move mapped out in a logical sequence before he makes the first one which makes him a terrifying chess player and he’s facinated by genetics. Whereas my daughter follows her heart and her gut rather than her head most of the time and is very reactionary, which is why she’s in martial arts is to learn self discipline and self control.” You explained.  

“That makes sense.” Isla nodded in understanding. 

“But what about your house and your plane?” Sesi asked Noah.  

“Oh I told him to keep both. It does get much hotter down there than it does up here and I know from my own schooling that some orcs who are used to cold climates actually get sick if they get too hot.” 

“So what you could do is just spend the off season at the Great Lakes at Zara’s house, and then spend the shorter flight season that’s only three months long up here that are the hottest months down there, up here, that way we’ll still be able to see Sakura when we normally would have, your kids can take their summer vacations up here when they’re off school so Noah and Sakura don’t get too hot or chance getting sick and Noah can still earn a living as a pilot so he doesn’t have to give that up completely and you can still practice your massage up here if you want to either from Noah’s house or one of the hunting lodges and retreats and you guys can have a dual residency.” Miki realized before you turned to Noah to give him a hopeful look because that sounded awesome to you as he was mirroring that look. 

“Yeah that could totally work.” You agreed as you and Noah were both nodding to that.  

“So where is the baby picture of me on the wall?” You asked Summer before she brought you to the living room where she had collages of her family on the wall. 

“So I take it you’re the newborn?” Sesi asked. 

“Nope, I’m the toddler. Jewel orcs are born a really dark, drab olive green and brown, it’s a built in defense mechanism and camouflage. But between two and three, they change, the olive green turns teal and the brown turns blue and purple. Imagine my parent’s surprise when that happened to me because their parents were only partially paradise orc and it wasn’t until the great grandparents met me that they confirmed that that’s what happens because I only had a one in 32nd chance of coming out paradise orc, I had much higher chances of looking more dark elf like my sisters, I had a one in four chance of either that happening or not looking orc at all, cause I also had a one in four chance of looking human or a one in eight turning out more moura than I am and I had a one in two chance of looking gold rush or great lakes orc and then because my husband was half paradise orc himself even though he favored the southern great lakes which is more jade green as opposed to the deep turquoise, both of my kids turned out paradise orc, so even though it was a slim chance, I just happened to hit the odds, but the cool thing was after I transitioned into my jewel orc colors, I stopped getting mistaken for a boy over night. Because that’s what happened to my own kids see?” You urged as you got your phone out and pulled up pictures of your own kids before and during and after the change as they all ‘oohed’ in understanding. 

“So how is Grusta?” Ukluk asked. 

“You can ask him yourself, they should be done with Sunday worship by now.” You answered as you got your phone and called him. 

“Yeah Baby?” Your dad answered. 

“Hey Dad, guess who I’m having dinner with?” You prompted him. 

“Who?” Your dad answered. 

“Ukluk Kintuck and his family and the Yural family.” You revealed. 

“Really?!” Your dad gasped in delighted surprise. 

“Yeah, here, say hi,” you offered before you gave the phone over to Ukluk who started talking with your dad and they started talking and catching up on the last 30+ years they had been apart as your dad told Ukluk that he was currently helping his grandkids look into Noah as Tonrar accompanied Ukluk because he wanted a chance to speak to your dad too as they walked to the back porch because that’s where the best service was for cell phones before Noah’s sister Alorna and her husband John Wilks came in late and you nearly gave yourself whiplash giving John a double take. 

Oh shit. 

“Noah,” you breathed as he turned to consider you. 

“Hey, uh, so John and I have already met, and uh, he’s not gonna like me and he’s probably about to pull you and every other guy in here aside to tell you to dump me but before you believe every word he says about me and what I did in his presence, just give me a chance to defend myself ok?” You pleaded to Noah who knitted his eyebrows together in contemplation but still smiled adoringly at you and kissed you really quick because you were so close since his arm was around your shoulders. 

“Don’t worry about it. I ain’t changing my mind, no matter what.” Noah reassured you and you wanted to laugh because this sweet sweet man still had no idea who and what was standing right next to him.  

“Hey, come in and meet Zara,” Sesi urged her sister and brother in law as John was looking at you in disbelief, like you were a ghost but he did his best to remain cool and nonchalant. 

“Zara, this is my sister Alorna and her husband John and their kids Johnny Jr. and Gabby.” Sesi introduced. 

“Hi I’m Zara Kingsley, pleasure to meet you.” You greeted them as Alorna offered her hand for you to shake which you obliged instead of giving you a hug as you could tell John was trying not to blurt out how he knew you before you could see John take out his phone and try to subtly shoot Noah a text after he had put their broaster on the food table as Alorna seemed to look you over with thinly veiled criticism. 

‘We need to talk privately NOW.’ John texted Noah. 

‘About?’ Noah answered.

‘Your GF, she’s trouble.’

Noah looked at his phone and looked at it disbelievingly and looked at John the same way as John pointedly looked at the door and back to Noah and back to the door then back to Noah meaningfully as some of the other members of the family looked on curiously because John was acting strange. 

“Hey Noah, I need your help bringing in the beer Bud.” John hinted heavily as you just grinned knowingly. 

You fucking called it. 

“Ok,” Noah nodded before he unwrapped his arm around your shoulders and walked with John back out of the house. 

“We can help too.” Suka offered. 

“No, I think John and I can handle it by ourselves.” Noah immediately dismissed them and there was an insistent tone in his voice when he said it that had Suka stopping in his tracks before he looked from their backs to a few of the other guys who by now were either shrugging it off or looking at each other meaningfully because they picked up on it. 

“Hey um, I know you just met her and all, and I know she’s probably the most beautiful woman any of us have ever seen in our lives, but listen, that woman is a snake in the grass, she is a man eating she-wolf and I know from looking at her from your parent’s livingroom, she doesn’t look it but Dude, I saw her take down a whole table of pilots on Wednesday night. She has a thing for pilots and she ate every single one of them alive and she seriously fucked them up, like it’s been four days and they still can’t walk, they can barely crawl and they had to be carried out of the bar, they couldn’t even walk out.” John professed. 

“What did Zara do to them?” Noah asked, worried that you had gotten into a bar fight or something.  

“Dude, that’s not even her full name! She’s pretending to be Anglo, she’s not Anglo, she’s Siberian. She came into the bar with the hottest most sexiest gold dress and everyone was drawn to her like a moth to a flame and she burned everyone.” John insisted. 

“Ok, was she alone?” Noah asked worriedly. 

“No, Taylor was with her, call her yourself, she’ll tell you! But you have to believe me! I don’t know what kind of spell she has you under but you need to break out of it. I know it’s hard, hell I was under her spell too, don’t tell your sister but I was ready to fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk straight and I’ve been fantasizing about her ever since and I know that sounds awful, but she had her pick of the whole bar and she chose Derek and Evan’s group and their game wasn’t even that good. Look I have pictures.” John told him before he brought up pictures of you at the bar as Noah looked closely at them. 

“What was she doing?” Noah asked as he looked them over. You did look hotter than sin. And if he was honest, if that’s how you looked when you first met him, he probably would have reacted the way these guys did but seeing you in these guys’ laps with their hard ons tenting their pants behind your butt  and their arms wrapped around you had jealousy and possessiveness eating him alive. 

“Everything ok out here?” Suka asked as he peeked his head out the door to see Noah and John next to John’s open trunk. 

“Yeah, we got this, get back inside or else you’ll let all the mosquitoes in.” Noah urged his brother in law firmly before Suka shrunk back. 

“What’s going on out there?” Dave asked Suka. 

“Something Noah doesn’t want us to know about, he’s awfully defensive.” Suka murmured as they stood by the door and looked out of the window by the door from the kitchen as all the women were engaging you in conversation. 

Meanwhile outside. 

“She was doing some kind of erotic massage on all of them, all of them creamed their pants while she did it too.” John answered. “It sounded like they were fucking right there in the bar.” John professed. 

“Moscow Doll.” Noah realized as he mumbled that under his breath. 

“Yeah! That’s what they called her because they got so drunk they couldn’t remember her name. But ask her what her full name is, It’s Zara- Zahn-something, Vol-something.” He urged Noah. 

“Zara Zahnochka Volchietsa Kingsley.” Noah supplied. 

“Yeah, wait, how do you know that? Did she tell you?” John pressed. 

“Yeah, that’s her priestess name, she’s a priestess for Aura.” Noah supplied. 

“Oh, ok, yeah, that explains that Siberian connection. But still Dude, don’t trust her with anything, she’ll take it and run, I’ve seen it before, like I know Sakura is head over heels for her but Sakura will get over it, you don’t want a woman like Zara raising Sakura. She’s going to be nothing but a bad influence and you know Neena wouldn’t be cool with you moving on with a predator like her, she’s gonna eat you alive my friend and leave you worse than Neena did when she passed.” John urged desperately as Noah frowned in concentration as he continued to look at the pictures skeptically.

"She hasn't touched you yet has she?" John asked worriedly as he noticed Noah wasn’t really saying much in response to this.

"She has actually." Noah confirmed. "But obviously she hasn't done me any harm." Noah defended. 

"Wait, have you slept with her already?" John asked, torn because he was weary but jealous all the same. "No, you did- didn't you. Oh gods, was at least good? Crazy pussy is the best pussy and I'm both thrilled yet terrified how she's gonna spit you out- yet jealous because of course a woman that hot would be a good lay. But think about Sakura, do you want Sakura to turn into that?" John pointed at your image as you straddled Evan's lap a wolfish grin on your pretty painted lips. 

Meanwhile Alorna was looking you up and down skeptically herself. Alorna was drop dead gorgeous too and you could tell she was used to being the most beautiful person in the room and you wondered if she felt threatened by your own beauty. 

“Well let’s get dinner ready to eat.” Summer suggested before you got everything organized on the tables.  

“Well I brought king crab legs. John got super big tips this week.” Alorna bragged as she took the lid off the broaster to show it full of king crab legs. 

“Oh that’s awesome and very generous, I just made mushroom risotto and a side of sauteed mushrooms, candied yams and death by cheese mac and cheese and caramelized onions and Noah made some awesome Salmon.” You praised as you showed her your own dishes in Noah’s pots and pans of the dishes. 

“Oh,” Alorna grinned smugly. “So Anglo, is all the experience you have with family dinners just the high holidays? You might as well have brought a turkey.” She practically sneered with a condescending giggle through her nose as Neena’s sisters and sisters in law and even her own sisters and mother all cut their eyes at Alorna because they brought humble but familiar dishes themselves. 

“Nope I did.” Sesi piped up rebelliously, as she put her turkey on the table from out of the oven as Alorna quickly rolled her eyes. 

“And I brought good ol’ roasted potatoes.” Samantha added as her and Nago just shook their heads at Alorna before all of the other women pointed out to you what they had brought too as the food tables were practically overflowing with food around the dining room table. 

“And moose and reindeer roasts to round it out.” Ukluk cheered once he put the reindeer roasts on the table as Tonrar put moose roasts on the table before he handed you your phone back since he had spent this whole time talking and catching up with your dad and exchanged phone numbers so they could keep in touch as Tonrar had done the same with your dad and Ukluk was so tickled that you were basically family found at this point as your dad gave Ukluk the run down of what had happened to you, how you had been a good, discrete, modest and loyal wife and an amazing cook and a somewhat decent housekeeper but because of an accident at your husband’s work you were a widow and mother of two and doing your best to take care of them and how you stood squarely on your own feet and taking care of your parents in their retirement years as well and how if Noatak was anything like Ukluk and could make you happy, your dad was happy to give his blessing on the match and vouch for Noah to your kids which Ukluk agreed to do so as well since he trusted his friend to be honest with him and Tonrar was ready to do the same. 

“Ooh, all this looks really good Zara,” Ukluk praised as Tonrar hummed in agreement. 

“Thanks, I know it’s not as glamorous as Alorna’s dish, she brought the crab.” You deferred. 

“Eh, crab is to us what chicken probably is to you, not that big of a deal. Those mushrooms though, I’m gonna have those all over my roast,” Ukluk replied as Alorna frowned and the other women snorted a laugh and gave each other meaningful looks. 

“And these onions smell divine, I’m definitely having both the mushrooms and the onions on the moose. I know caramelized onions are a labor of love and take a lot of time and patience, and I’ve never had risotto but that looks amazing, thank you.” Tonrar thanked you as he gave you a squeeze from the side before you returned the side hug. 

“You’re welcome.” You smiled. 

“Where’s Noah and John?” Ukluk asked. 

“Outside getting beer.” Alorna answered before Ukluk sighed before he left and opened the front door, passing the guys who were still watching from the window as John was talking and gesturing wildly about what was on his phone that he was having Noah look at. 

“Something’s up.” Yakone murmured as he watched them too as they were all thoroughly enjoying the beer you had already bought and brought in, and all of them had been impressed and grateful that you had excellent tastes in booze.

“Hey! Get your asses inside! Food’s getting cold!” Ukluk barked as Summer quickly whispered ‘when they get back inside, own it’ into your ear before Noah gave John his phone back. 

“Don’t show those to anyone else. I’ll get to the bottom of it on my own, let’s just have a nice dinner ok? Don’t make a scene and keep your mouth shut about this.” Noah insisted to John as John and Noah quickly grabbed the rest of the beer and came back inside to join everyone else as everyone seemed to grab their second choice for a bottle of beer from them before Noah took one of the best ones that you had bought and sat down next to you at the table before Ukluk urged everyone to bow their heads so he could offer a prayer over the food as Sakura happily grabbed your hand to hold it as you offered your upturned hand to Noah discreetly under the table before he readily took it and held it on top of the table before he let it go so he could wrap his arm around you again before holding your hand with his other hand and any tension you had that Noah was going to distance himself from you melted away. Ukluk gave a beautiful prayer thanking the gods for bringing you here and bringing family back to them and over the food and then after the prayer everyone was quick to get a plate, Ukluk and Tonrar being the first to go through the line followed by Summer and Isla and then the moms went after that to make sure all the kids got fed first before any of the dads did. 

“Wait, what do you mean she’s family found?” John asked as they went around the food tables.

“Yeah, my old air force buddy Grusta Wainwright, Zara is his eldest daughter. Her baby picture is on our wall with Duska and Dakota, apparently paradise orcs are born olive green and brown and turn peacock colors when they’re toddlers,” Ukluk informed John and Alorna proudly before he explained how you and your sister Blossom were born up here and how you had moved away when you were a toddler and since then, your dad had started a plumbing business in the Great Lakes with your brother Gavin and had taken on a couple of your brothers in law and all of them became jack of all trades and how there was a branch right where you lived that your dad still managed in his semi-retirement and how your parent’s friends had kids and you stayed in touch with them and became friends and came up to visit them and met Noah as Summer was looking at you, giving you an encouraging smile and nod. 

“Oh,” John and Alorna answered as Alorna was considering whether or not she had judged you too harshly from just your facebook.  

“And John, I just wanted to thank you again for taking care of Taylor and I the other night.” You chimed in with an appreciative look to John, your tone sweeter than honey with a smile to match. 

“Aw, did you girls go out drinking this week?” Ukluk realized. 

“Yup, on Wednesday night, after I spent all day treating Taylor and her family, we went to Goose’s and John was the bartender and he took such great care of us and made sure that we didn’t get taken advantage of or rufied or harrassed in any way.” You praised and John turned three shades darker with his blush and a guilty smile as Summer and Ukluk as well as Isla and Tonrar all smiled appreciatively at him before Tonrar gave John a big pat on the back from his spot next to him. 

“Good lad.” Tonrar praised. 

“Uh, yeah, you’re welcome.” John thanked you as Nago looked from Noah’s schooled neutral expression and John’s expression and then to the other guys who seemed to nod in understanding as they all wondered if more had happened that night that John wasn’t letting on to anyone else but Noah apparently. That would explain John’s dodgy behavior and Noah’s defensiveness. 

“Wait, so you’re Taylor’s siberian friend?” Alorna realized because that’s what John had told her. 

“Well, kind of, so my brother’s wife and her family are Siberian, Yamalian to be exact and his wife Natasha and her mother Olga are both priestesses of Aura and when Gavin was courting Tasha, the second Olga she met me- she practically adopted me and trained me to be a priestess of Aura too alongside Tasha so I’m in the Rushaka order with Natasha and Olga is the Manta at Sinai Temple. If you look on the priestesses of Aura website I’m listed under Olga’s daughters as a private priestess. Which means I don’t belong to any one particular temple and Olga named me Zahnochka Volchietsa when she met me when I was only 15 and I was baptized at 16 as a priestess under that name. Volchietsa means ‘she-wolf’, and Zahnochka means ‘she will rise again’ and Olga always gives me a ‘blessing bag’ whenever I go anywhere, and this time for this trip, it had all the jewelry and shawls and a ‘blessed reading’ tea ceremony set and things for a proper priestess and Summer encouraged me to ‘let the she wolf out’ and to embrace that heritage so I could help Noah, which I did, I must have blessed at least three dozen of his clients, giving them free tea readings in exchange for guaranteed business with him so he and Sakura wouldn’t just survive but thrive.” You explained. 

“Is there any way we can sweet talk you into doing your priestess thing at the summer festival? Because Sakura has inherited quite a bit of land and the people who would have normally inherited it have been hounding us for her to give it back to them and if you could try to discourage them and find a way to make them knock it off, we’d really appreciate it.” Ukluk requested. 

“I would love to.” You readily agreed and John looked like he was about to explode and ignoring Noah’s warning look and subtle shake of his head as they all dug into the delicious food, everyone thoroughly blown away by how exquisite everything was, all the women murmuring to each other on how they were going to try to coax the recipes out of you later. 

“So is part of ‘taking care of Noah’ fucking over Noah’s competition?” John blurted because the truth of what he saw was eating him alive watching Noah continue to be affectionate with you and it was obvious to him that Noah hadn’t changed his mind.

And with that, everything stopped. 

Everyone froze, most of them mid bite as they looked from you to John then back to you and noticed your kashmir blue blush morphed into an amethyst purple that went from your ears, to your cheeks and to your chest as Noah looked like he was ready to reach across the table and strangle John himself and before either you or Noah could say anything Summer thankfully cut in. 

“So what if she did? Who are any of us to judge her for that? All of us know how snow bears, moose and she wolves protect their den and their cubs, calves and pups with their lives and none of us bat an eye when they take down their prey for food for them, why should we do that for Zara? It’s in her name and she should be proud to bear it. Her ‘den’ was threatened. What mother here at this table wouldn’t do whatever it takes to ensure that our children are safe and cared for and even if that means we have to show our teeth and claws to do it. All of us have had to show our own teeth and claws to defend Sakura from those aiapas who are after her shares. I for one am grateful she had teeth and claws big enough and sharp enough to take them all down and a mind sharp enough to do it in such a clever way and walk away without a scratch, that takes nerves of steel and she obviously forged them in hellfire for them to be so fine and so strong. You can’t fault her for that. Anglos like to think women are soft and innocent and harmless but most importantly defenseless and easy prey but we know better. We don’t disrespect our snow bears or our ice dogs or wolves or moose just because they’re females and we all know better than to mess with cubs or pups or calves and it isn’t any different with us as people. It’s an instinct that drives every mother and I’m grateful hers kicked in so strongly for Sakura’s sake. She didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not offended by it all, I’m very proud of her actually. She took initiative and was moved to action at the right time instead of second guessing herself and missing her opportunity. I can’t think of a better model of a mother for Sakura.” Summer defended you which caused you to smile at her gratefully. 

“Did your tea leaves tell you that Mom?” Alorna spat. 

“Yes they did and so much more, and if you practiced the art yourself you would have seen it too.” Summer returned defiantly. 

“Well if you have any questions about my motives, you can call Taylor yourself.” You challenged John calmly. 

“Alright.” Alorna agreed as she called Taylor and put it on speaker phone as Neena’s family looked questioningly at each other. 

“Hey Ali.” Taylor greeted. 

“Hey, so Noah and Zara got together and started dating but John pointed out how he served you and Zara on Wednesday night and apparently some things went down, can you tell us what happened from your point of view?” Alorna asked. 

“Or better yet, Taylor, you could come and tell them in person, just in case the phone cuts out.” You suggested. 

“Ok, I’ll be there in five.” Taylor agreed as you dug into the food because chances are you were going to leave with Taylor after she put in her two cents. You almost wanted to blame your heart for not trusting your gut on this.  

“She doesn’t need to come,” Noah shook his head no. 

“Yeah she does. Because I doubt I can say anything right now that anyone here will believe or trust. If all of you trust Taylor to tell the truth, let her tell the truth.” You insisted. 

“But I believe you. Isn’t that all that should matter?” Noah gently argued. 

“That is all that matters to me but this is still your family and Neena’s family and everyone here has a common interest in protecting Sakura who is the most vulnerable member of this family and I’m willing to bet a hundred dollars John challenged my ability to mother Sakura when he pulled you aside earlier.” And to see Noah’s eyes drop from yours told you that you were right.

“I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about motives and intentions and actions.” You answered and no less than four minutes later Taylor was there since she lived right down the street. 

“Hey, you made it, come here, tell them everything that happened Wednesday night, don’t leave out anything.” You invited before you went back to eating while everyone else stopped to listen to Taylor talk.  

“Well after she treated me and my family we went to Shen’s for takeout and Evan and Derek and their crew were there and talking about how they were going to the bar later and Zara asked me which bar and knowing them, it was going to be Goose’s and she asked me if they were attracted to women, I said yes, so she had me take her back home so she could change into the proper ‘catch a man’ attire and you told me while we were curling our hair in the bathroom that your plan was to sabotage them and get them so black out drunk that they would miss flying the next day so Noah could pick up their loads and save the day from the client’s point of view because those losers had the audacity to undercut Noah and put Noah and especially Sakura’s livelihood into jeopardy and you were going to eat them alive for that. So we went and we strutted into that place and every guy in there tried to get in your drawers and even John tried his best to hook up with you.” Taylor began as everyone turned and glared at John, Alorna most of all who looked like she was about to set John on fire where he sat as John got impossibly blushed and avoided everyone’s gazes as he tried to stuff his mouth with food as everyone else looked downright pissed as Nago and Suka and Yakone started to snicker a laugh because that would explain why John looked so guilty. 

“Ha! That’s why you looked guilty as sin when you saw her here and why you were ready to piss your pants when she brought it up that she met you already, you tried to get Noah to dump her before she could expose you. Now this makes sense.” Nago practically sang from his spot before he continued eating as did everyone else as everyone seemed to get over it but they were eager to hear what else had happened. 

“So Zara paid John a hundred dollar bill to give her the lay of the land, confirmed Evan and Derek were the other pilots and she paid you to give her an empty beer glass so she could use that as a “chaser” so she wouldn’t get drunk and she assured me before we left that I was the one who was going to take her home. And so John gave her what she asked for and it was like she turned into Marylin Monroe on the red carpet and every guy in there was drawn to her like a moth to the flame and Derek and Evan were powerless against her charms and her allure and once they started asking her about herself, she told them she was an LMT and she offered to give them Vahva Kun treatments.” Taylor continued. 

“Now, I’m gonna stop you right there, someone google Vahva kun, it’s spelled V-a-h-v-a Kun is K-u-n and then add the words Olen heikko- o-l-e-n, h-e-i-k-k-o and read out loud what the answer is.” You invited. 

“It means ‘strong when I’m weak’ in Finnish, and it’s a discipline of massage therapy used in body building when the therapist disables prime movers so that the synergists have to take over, it causes all muscles involved to bulge and is very popular among bodybuilders before competitions because it enhances aesthetic but disables functionality and strength. First time recipients usually have a sexual response but can not move properly for one to two weeks after while others who regularly receive Vahva Kun only take a few days to recover, it is estimated that 95% of body builders use Vahva Kun and for the last five years all of the top 10 competitors in every competition have used practitioners to enhance their body’s esthetic and swear by it. Practitioners make on average 1 to 5 thousand dollars for a full body Vahva Kun treatment which can only take an hour or two. Only professionals should attempt it and uneducated attempts can risk permanent muscle injury.” Yakone read out loud. 

“Now, go to AMTA and look me up under members from the Great Lakes and cross reference with Vahva Kun. But you’re going to have to use my full legal name since “Zara” is my anglo nickname because my full legal name is too long to fit on a business card and it’s a lot easier to say. It’s Zarasashasabine - Z-a-r-a-s-a-s-h-a-s-a-b-i-n-e Kingsley- K-i-n-g-s-l-e-y. And my licence number is 816-269-937-55.” You spelled out as a lot of them tried to wrap their mouths around saying your full name and got tongue tied. 

“She’s the top result on AMTA, she’s been practicing it for 5 years.” Sedna revealed as she showed them a picture of you on the website and indeed found that as she passed her phone around as Noah realized here had fallen in love with you and hadn’t even known your full name and was a little embarrassed by that. 

“So, back to the story Taylor, what did I tell Evan and Derek and their group about Vahva Kun before I implemented it?” You prompted her. 

“You told them that you practice it on body builders and that it would make their muscles bulge and it feels better than sex with the gods.” Taylor proudly answered. 

“And did I give them the opportunity to turn me down and tell me ‘no thanks’ or did I force it on them?” You prompted her. 

“Nope, you asked and gave all of them the oppertunity to consent, they all had the chance to look it up but they just wanted you to touch them after taking like a hundred pictures of you and all of them gave you clear and conscientious consent to do whatever you wanted to them. And because they were drinking like there was no tomorrow and pushing you to drink just as heavily as they were to lower your guard and your own inhibitions and if it wasn’t for John giving you those empty beer bottles, you would have gotten black out drunk with them. But you didn’t, you stayed in control the whole time while they lost most of their self control. You barely got tipsy and you did screw them over without dropping your panties an inch and no one would have been any wiser for it and you stayed above everyone’s suspicion, Evan and Derrek and their group most of all because they have a habit of finding and taking advantage of easy prey.  You made it seem like you were just another woman on vacation enjoying a night on the town and trying out your massage tricks on them and you tried your best to cover your tracks and make sure that your behavior and Noah’s reputation would never meet let alone ever get connected. And on the way out you gave John another hundred dollar bill for helping you stay sober before you had me take you home and on the way there you told me all about it and the science behind why and how it worked before you told me that the inventor of the discipline was originally a prostitute who had gotten the crap beaten out of her when her clients recovered and you risked getting the crap beaten out of you from them and it’s been a good thing you’ve been with Noah ever since because he can protect you, and he should considering you did it all for him and Sakura.” Taylor defended. 

“That’s where you got the two one hundred dollar bills in your wallet, and why you wouldn't tell me where you got ‘em from and why you didn’t fight me when I told you what I wanted to spend them on, because you got ‘em from her!” Alorna accused John angrily because she was still livid that her husband had tried to be unfaithful and then had lied and kept it from her as Noah looked like he was well passed strangling John, he was mentally already beating him to death by the death glare he gave him across the table. 

“Well that’s Noah’s choice if he wants to, he doesn’t have to.” You answered Taylor as you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Noah before you set your silverware down and addressed everyone else. 

“Now what I want to assure you guys is I gave Evan and Derek and their crew exactly what they asked for and what they agreed to and I had their informed consent to do it and I executed that technique flawlessly and yes I had to get a little flirty to get that physically close to them to begin with but I did not do them any lasting harm. Yeah, they’re going to be sore for a week or two but when they recover, they’re going to look better than they ever have and practically drown in pussy when they get cleaned up and emerge from their apartment, which is all they really wanted anyway. Cause they’re young, single and stupid and for them it’s about getting laid and having fun rather than making money or taking care of themselves. It’s not a big deal to them to lose loads and customers because they’re again- young and stupid and chances are they have parents that help them out and pay most of their bills anyway. They’re not going to be without food, clothing or shelter. But Noah on the other hand, he can’t lower his prices down any more or else he’ll lose money and when he loses money, his bills can’t get paid and he’ll go hungry to make sure that Sakura doesn’t and he has pride which means none of you would have ever known about it because he never would have said anything to anyone, would you.” You turned your head slightly in Noah’s direction but wouldn’t look at him directly as he nodded in confirmation because you called that one right too. 

“And I could write a check for a hundred thousand dollars right now and try to give it to him and you know he probably wouldn’t take it. Would you?” You questioned him as Noah shook his head no. 

“Are you going to charge me a fair price to fly me back to cruise ship if you’re gonna fly me at all?” You asked. 

“No I was going to fly you down and I still will if you want me to because from where I sit none of this changes anything between you and me and I wasn’t going to charge you at all because I swore to your children that I wouldn’t take another penny from you and I’m a man of my word.” Noah insisted as he looked to everyone else, daring them to stop him or argue with him. 

“I know Noah, I know you’re a man of your word because my first husband was too. And you both have pride and having been married to a man before who would rather suffer in silence rather than say anything. I recognized that and I knew I had to get around it and I would rather Noah think it was just a ‘coincidence’ or that I got drunk in bar and let a table full of men try their best to take advantage of me or that I was a man eater or whatever else he could possibly think of it me if it meant that he would be ok and Sakura would be ok because I couldn’t risk him rejecting my help. Not when so much was on the line.” You insisted before you took a deep cleansing breath. 

“Big talk when your son is fruitcake.” Alorna spat. 

“Excuse me?” Noah barked before you started laughing. 

“Wow, someone did thier research before coming to dinner, is that why you were so late? Doing some googling did you?” You taunted her. 

“No, we were late cause John didn’t want to leave work, hoping you would come back in but obviously that didn’t happen. But yes, I did do some research on you because I wanted to know what Noah was getting into. I knew your name was Zarasashasabine Vivilana Zahnochka Volchietsa Wainright Kingsley. You were married to Andrew Kingsley, one of the ugliest orcs I’ve ever seen in my life, but I’m guessing he had a great personality, and obviously deep pockets, with parents who had even deeper ones. Andy died at work two years ago which is a shame you’ve had to live without his income of a hundred grand a year but you probably got what? Half a mill, maybe a whole million in life insurance money? And you built a mansion with it. And since then, your son Xander got into snakes and ballet of all things, let me guess, his daddy kept him pretty tightly in the closet when he was alive but since Andrew died, he sure did come out in style didn’t he? Now he dances in tutus and point shoes and has a hobby that costs more than Noah can make in a year. I’m just praying Noah beats the homo out of him before it’s too late and get’s him to straighten up and fly right before he’s a complete lost cause. And I’ll bet you everything you have that Andrew would be rolling in his grave if he found out how his son was living. The only positive is your daughter is now in martial arts. So you have a fifty percent sucess rate at raising children. At least Sakura might grow up to only be half as fucked up without Neena. But too bad that’s still a failing grade.” Alorna taunted defiantly. 

“Alorna, what did I tell you before you came? If you couldn’t be nice, you weren’t welcome, get the hell out of this house.” Summer challenged. 

“No, don’t leave just yet, she was just now showing me her true colors, I think how she’s sexualizing a child is disturbing because he’s only ten. And my daughter is only 8. How you can judge them based on their tastes as children think that that’s what will define them as adults is...frankly pathetic. And it’s really hypocritical that you accused me of Anglo when you’re the one with the super Anglo points of view. Because my children, even though they’ve been through hell and lost a parent and lost their adopted grandparents who they were closer to than their actual grandparents and had to be in the public eye since they were 8 and 6 and already get scruitinized and judged based on looks and circumstances that they had no control over is upsetting, but typical, I’m used to it and sadly, so are they. That’s why we’re so fiercely protective of our privacy. But in all your “research” the way your tone and your choice of wording tells me that you didn’t find the biggest piece of the puzzle.” You returned calmly. 

“Which is what?” Alorna spat. 

“Google it. Google my full name and then add Andy’s work place which was Nullensill Semiconductor and see what comes up. I dare you. But know that from this moment on, you and I will never be friends, never be close and you and your family will never benefit from me and know that once my children do come up here, you will stay the fuck away from them and you will have no contact with them because I don’t trust you not to lash out at them and try to hurt them.” You determined. 

“Alorna, for the love of the gods you and John need to just leave, Johnny Jr. and Gabby are always welcome but you no longer are.” Ukluk snarled. 

“I can’t believe you! You’re taking a stranger’s side over your own daughter?!” Alorna shrieked before John reached out and grabbed Alorna’s arm harshly as he stared at his phone’s screen with wide eyes and sharply inhaled through his nose. 

“Just shut up you petty, jealous bitch! You need apologize to Zara for offending her right now! Zara, I am so sorry I tried to have sex with you, that was inappropriate and I’m so sorry, and you know what? Just take all the crab that’s left and take it home with you, our gift to you. And you know what, you are doing such a good job raising your kids all on their own and I know Noah will take care of them like he has taken care of Sakura.” John tried to appease but you just shook your head at him. Suck up as Alorna was about to rip him a new one before he shoved his phone in her face which got her to freeze and her jaw to drop before she looked from the phone to you. 

“And I take back everything I’ve said before this point, I’m sorry, I was just concerned, I didn’t want to see Noah get hurt and obviously there’s no safer place for them to be than with you.” John tried to excuse. 

“You weren’t concerned when you tried to fuck her Wednesday.” Alorna spat as she continued to read the article. 

“Because she looked like this at the time! I’m a hot blooded guy, I never said I was perfect.” John excused as he brought up the pictures he had taken of you on Wednesday as the other guys were curious enough to get up go around the table to where John was to look at the pictures, making their wives narrow their eyes before all the guys dropped their jaws at the pictures. 

“Damn!” Suka and Dave jeered. 

“And that didn’t stop you from kissing her on Wednesday either.” Taylor added as all the women gasped as Nago and the other guys started laughing because there hasn’t been this much drama in the family in forever as some of the wives started snickering too. 

“Only her hand! I only kissed her hand!” John quickly defended himself. 

“Only because you couldn’t lean over the bar any further and kiss her on the lips, not that she would have let you do even that much to her.” Taylor taunted John. 

“And as I recall, you were the only one who I let do even that much.” You added just a little smugly before Alorna finally read what John just did before she gasped in outrage. 

“You’re the one who should have brought the crab! And you should have brought prime rib roasts too with a quarter of a billion dollars!” She practically shrieked angrily as she threw her husband’s phone at your head but Noah caught it and crushed it in his palm.  

“That’s it! Alorna and John, leave!” Ukluk boomed angrily.  

“Yup, on it.” John got up and picked up his angry screaming wife and kicking wife out of her chair and promptly left the house with her over his shoulder. 

“Do we have to go too?” John Jr. asked. 

“No, you guys should stay, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your parents will need some time and space.” Summer warmly assured them as she picked up her plate and came around to eat with them. 

“Well, I hate to tear apart another family. So, I’ll leave it up to all of you. You can put it to a vote if you want to,  if you don’t think I’m good enough to be here and share the same space with you or to help Noah and Sakura that’s fine, you’re all entitled to your opinions. Now, what I’m going to do is thank you Summer and Ukluk and Isla and Tonror for your hospitality and warm welcome and Sakura, Baby, do me a favor and remember that everyone at this table loves you very, very much and they only want the best for you. Let them talk about this so they can come to their own conclusions about me. Ok? I’m gonna go home with Taylor. And if you and your Daddy decide that I should continue to be in your life and if you still want to be in mine, you know where to find me. If not, just gather my stuff that I’ve left at your house and drop it off at Taylor’s house. But I need to get out of here so everyone can talk about me freely.” You told her as you hugged her and kissed the top of her head as a few tears escaped your eyes. 

“No! I don’t want you to go, you’re not leaving without me Mama!” Sakura started crying as she got up and clung to you and tried to force you to sit back down as you tried to back away from the table. 

“Baby, I don’t want to leave you either but right now, it has to be this way ok?” You tried to counter as you started to cry too because seeing Sakura cry cut you to your very bones. 

“No, you can’t leave, not without me,” Sakura tried to argue as she practically glued herself to your leg and wrapped herself tightly around it and clung to it for dear life. 

“It’s not like you’ll never see me again Sweetie, I agreed to go to the summer festival and intervene on your behalf as a priestess of Aura and I’ll do that if everyone else still wants me to. It’s only two days away, the day after tomorrow.” You tried to remind her as you steadied yourself on the back of the chair and lean over to talk to her.  

“Zara, no, don’t go.” Noah pleaded and the poor man was in tears himself as was most of them around the table as he got up and tried to gently guide you back to the table because he felt like if you walked out of there, he was gonna lose you forever and die right then and there. He didn’t care if his whole family turned on you. He was ready to cut them all off for you. He made the concious decision to choose you over all of them. 

“Zara, please don’t go anywhere, you’re part of this family, and anyone who doesn’t want you to be in this family can leave the house now and take whatever food they brought with them and take their place in it with them too like Alorna and John just did.” Ukluk pleaded as he joined his son in trying to guide you back to the table because seeing how much his granddaughter loved you and her distress at being parted from you was breaking his heart and he wasn’t going to let this circumstance detract from you or your place in this family. 

“Agreed,” everyone else mirrored in agreement as you finally gave in and sat back down only to have Sakura climb into your lap and practically hold you to the chair itself so you couldn’t get away as you cuddled and coddled her and dried her tears as Noah just smiled gratefully and adoringly at you and rubbed on your back before he tightened his hold on you from beside you since once you sat back down, he put his chair right next to yours and promptly wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Because you weren’t going anywhere, your place was beside him. And he wanted to thank you in every way for doing even half as much and even though at first blush he wasn’t completely comfortable with your method, the more he thought about it and knowing why you did it had him readily forgiving you and in fact it endeared you to him even more and meant so much to him and he could understand why you felt you needed or wanted to do what you did. And why you would have kept this to yourself even though you had told him about it in a way, little hints here and there when you explained who Zahnochka was and what she was capable of. He just didn’t put two and two together.  But now he felt like he put it together and he was even more in love with you now than he was this morning. You were a badass and he loved that about you before Taylor seemed appeased that you were where you should be and simply grabbed a plate and then went home. 

“So how much of that did you get to keep?” Suka chanced before everyone else glared at him. 

“I was just curious.” Suka defended. 

“A very small portion, a very tiny fraction really, his company took the vast majority of it and what was left was split between myself and the five other widows and widowers who’s mates were involved and died in the accident, most of them took the one lump sum pay out of 25 million which the government took half that so they’re left with 12 and a half million and the three of them barely have a million left two years later, and the other two and myself were smart and took the full payout but over the next fifty years. So I only get a check for 250,000 to live off of and the government only gets 15% instead of fifty percent.” You waived off. 

“Oh,” Suka nodded in understanding. 

“Which is still about double what my husband made a year so I shovel whatever we don’t use just on day to day expenses into savings accounts and retirement accounts and college funds and investments just like everything else I inherited from my grandparents. But at least my house is paid off, so I don’t pay a mortgage which is really nice. Those stinkin credit cards though, they’re just too easy to use. Death by a thousand cuts those things.” You revealed. 

“Oh you’re preachin to choir on that one.” Merideth answered. 

“Oh and don’t feel bad about Alorna leaving, she’s been a hypocritical bitch since day one, anyone who isn’t native- she hates and honestly now that she’s gone, we can finally all relax and enjoy the evening.” Sesi reassured you from her spot next on the other side of Sakura as you looked around to everyone else who were subtly and not so subtly nodding in agreement. 

“Nothing shows your true colors quite like money.” Noah grumbled as he cut into his moose with the caramalized onions. 

“I swear I thought I did better raising her.” Summer just shook her head. 

“Me too.” Ukluk chuckled as he did the same. 

“So what we’re saying, don’t worry about it, don’t let Alorna’s bark scare you off, the gods will make sure she gets what’s coming to her. And if you do end up coming here and staying here only a few months out of the year, don’t ever treat her or have anything to do with her or John.” Tonrar encouraged you. 

“Yeah but if she starts running her mouth and telling everyone that I have a quarter of a billion dollars, there’s going to be another manhunt for me like there was a year and a half ago.” You muttered. 

“You told us that you only get two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, so that’s how much you got, period and as far as I’m concerned and all I need to know and all I will ever assume is that was a one time payout, and don’t you dare go and correct me, which means you’re no richer than anyone else at this table, it’s easy to say Andy’s company took it all and you said as much and we have no reason to doubt you and anything more is your own business and should stay your own business. They don’t need to know about settlements or any other details. All of our voices together will drown her one voice out or even her’s and John’s or even hers, John’s and Doug’s. So don’t worry about it, as far as I’m concerned, you’re still just the oldest daughter of my best friend in the airforce. So practically family. And I already vouched for Noah to your dad who agreed to vouch for Noah to your kids so your kids will have someone they trust introduce Noah to them which is what they need and I don’t care about what your kids are into, they’re kids, they deserve to be happy and carefree and if they’re happy doing what they’re doing, that is all that matters. Especially to everyone here at this table.” Ukluk reassured you. 

“Thank you. The reason I didn’t take Alorna’s words seriously is because ballet saved Xander’s life. After Andy died, he shut down completely and he just...imploded. He wouldn’t necessarily cry and sob, but he wouldn’t laugh or smile or hang out with his friends or talk beyond one or two words. All he did was eat and sleep and spend what little time he was awake in a near catatonic state. Ballet brought him back, and taught him it was ok to be expressive. Skylar on the other hand, she was on the opposite side of the spectrum and so explosive. She was getting into fights every day, she nearly went to juvy and she got so aggressive and combative. So it’s the martial arts that saved her, taught her self control and to tame all the chaos she felt and still feels. And of course therapy, lots and lots of therapy.” You revealed. 

“Aww, the poor dear. I can’t wait to meet them both.” Isla assured you. 

[noelmu]

Buffy The Vampire Slayer, “The Body”

Excerpted from my 2010 AV Club review.

“The Body”

I’ve experienced two major deaths in my life. In 1996, one of my best friends was murdered out in Los Angeles, where he was in the early stages of a promising acting career. I hadn’t seen him in a while or talked to him in months, and I got the news the night before I was supposed to leave on a vacation with my fianceé’s family to the Atlanta Olympics, so I didn’t go the funeral. In the years since, I’ve realized that I probably could have rearranged our schedule and found a way to go, but I was 25 years old then and insecure about almost everything, so I didn’t assert myself. Instead I spent the hours after I got the news babbling nervously and incessantly to my fianceé about my memories of my friend. I didn’t know how to process his death. I didn’t know what was appropriate.

Four years later, my dad died. It seems like a much longer stretch of time, because in the interim I got married, bought a house, moved to Arkansas and started writing full-time. And when I look back, I have to remind myself that I didn’t have any kids yet, and that I’d only been a home-owning grown-up for a few months. My friend’s death feels like ancient history to me now, but my dad’s death feels like fresh news, even though it happened a decade ago. My dad died suddenly—a heart attack, while he was taking an afternoon nap—and I didn’t have any real responsibilities after it happened, beyond driving up for the funeral. My stepmother dealt with all the arrangements, and because my dad was the pastor of a small-town Episcopal congregation, our family had plenty of support. And it wasn’t like I was that close to my father. We talked on the phone every few months, and I’d just seen him at Christmas, but there was always a little distance between us, for various reasons. Still, my most abiding memory of that time was my physical reaction. That whole week, I felt as tired as I’ve ever felt, almost like I was wearing a weighted vest. I felt like something was pressing down on me.

The remarkable thing about “The Body” is how well Joss Whedon captures those particular, eclectic reactions when a loved one dies. The episode opens with a reprise of the final scene in “I Was Made To Love You,” in which Buffy comes home on a sunny morning and finds her mother laying dead on the sofa. Joyce’s body is cold and motionless, and appears slightly out of focus in the back of the frame for a moment before Buffy sees her. Once Buffy realizes what’s happened though, Joyce’s body becomes a hard reality that Whedon keeps returning to, by cutting to shots of her on the floor, or at the morgue. The second-cruelest cut comes after a flashback to a recent holiday dinner, which ends with Joyce and Buffy dropping a pie, followed by a cut to Joyce’s corpse. The cruelest comes after Buffy imagines the paramedics reviving Joyce and everything being okay, before she realizes that it’s not. That’s the way it goes when something terrible happens to us—be it a death in the family or even something as mundane as a bad grade at school. These things preoccupy.

Whedon takes a lot of chances with “The Body,” some of which may have been ill-advised, albeit in a way that’s in keeping with the episode’s subject matter. There’s no “right” way to react to a death, or even to document one. Whedon drops the music entirely (outside of the opening and closing credits), and employs multiple techniques to replicate Buffy’s disorientation. When she rushes to call 911, Whedon goes handheld. When the paramedics arrive, the camera zooms between Buffy and Joyce as Buffy tries to determine if her mother looks presentable. (Buffy ultimately reaches over and tugs Joyce’s skirt down a little.) When a paramedic explains that Joyce probably died of an aneurysm, Whedon only shows the man from the nose down. When Buffy tells Dawn that their mom is dead, Whedon shows them at a remove, through a window, with the sound muffled. When Xander frets, he walks in and out of frame. When the Scoobies arrive at the hospital, Whedon records their sympathetic hugs with quick dissolves. Some of these shots and edits come off a little gimmicky, but the ones that work are so effective that it seems petty to complain that Whedon overdoes it at times. (Besides, different moments are likely to move different people.)

Similarly, Whedon tries different ways through dialogue and action to convey how people grapple with the meaning of “lifeless.” Some of those ways are fairly blunt, as with Dawn’s mini-arc, which sees her go from being emotionally distraught at school over some petty insult, to cheering up when she has a conversation with a boy she likes, to being so distraught over her mom that she needs to touch Joyce’s dead body in order to understand what happened. (“Where’d she go?” Dawn asks, as if wondering how her normal teenage ups-and-downs took such an unexpected turn.) And some are more subtle, as when Dawn’s art teacher asks her students to explore the negative space around their subject—a body, as it happens—just as Whedon does with this episode, showing Buffy’s characters with a Joyce-sized hole in them.

My favorite sequence in the whole episode though is one that’s a little more down-to-Earth. It takes place in Willow’s dorm room, where she frets over what to wear to the morgue—“Why do all my shirts have stupid things on them? Why can’t I dress like a grown-up? Why can’t I be a grown-up?”—while Tara, who’s gone through a death in the family before, tries to be helpful, and Xander gets so frustrated with his feeling of impotence that he punches a hole through Willow’s wall.

And then there’s Anya.

I was holding it together fairly well while watching this episode, until Anya started saying inappropriate things on the periphery of the scene, like, “What will we be expected to do?” and “Xander cried at the apartment; it was weird,” and “Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?” I finally lost it when Willow blows up at Anya for not acting like a human being and Anya yells back that as a recently re-mortaled person dealing with the real meaning of death for the first time in centuries, she just doesn’t understand.

Here’s the whole speech:

I don’t understand how this all happens, how we go through this. I mean I knew her and then she’s… there’s just a body. I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. Xander’s crying and not talking and I was having fruit punch and I thought that Joyce would never have any more fruit punch and she’d never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain….

Yes, that speech does spell out the whole point of the episode in bolded, capitol letters, which ordinarily would be a bad piece of writing. But damned if Emma Caulfield doesn’t make Anya’s frustration real. And damned if there aren’t some times when even witty fictional characters need to say exactly what’s on their minds, even if it’s “writerly.” Besides, Whedon earns the speech with all the ways he emphasizes the physical aspects of life and death throughout “The Body:” Buffy cracking Joyce’s ribs while administering CPR, and Joyce feeling no pain; Buffy grabbing some paper towels to mop her own vomit, and watching the stain spread; Dawn being stalked by in the morgue by a vampire, a creature who is dead and yet animate.

This is going to sound strange, but it’s the vomit-stain I find most compelling. Here’s this warm, oozing essence of Buffy, seeping into a neat stack of Bounty; while in the next room an entire adult woman is sprawled on the floor with a broken bone that’s not bothering her in the slightest—because the “her” that was is no more, and persists only inasmuch as she’s seeped into the people who knew her. There’s the corpse—inescapable, inconvenient—and then there’s the spirit that has completely vanished. To make out its shape, you’ll have to look at the people gathered around where it used to be. At one point in “The Body,” Dawn’s crush-object Gavin asks, “Negative space… what’s that all about?” This episode is the answer.

[tinyarmedtrex]

Give meeee Stanlon + Splash AU!

So this will probably be obvious as you read it but I’ve never seen this movie so thanks Xander for answering all my questions :P

It was shaping up to be an awful day for Stan Uris. He ran his own medium sized accounting firm that employed 15 other people- though sometimes he wasn’t sure why as it seemed that all the work still fell on his shoulders. Today everyone was late due to some traffic jam that had magically affected nearly all his employee’s commute but not his.

“Linda!” He called out from his office. “The TPS report is still wrong! I’m meeting with the Johnson’s this afternoon and I need this report!” When she didn’t respond he slammed his coffee down, resulting in it spilling over his shirt. “Shit!” He tried in vain to wipe it off but couldn’t, it had already spread over his light blue shirt. “Linda! Do I have a spare shirt?”

Linda popped her head in. “No Mr. Uris, sorry you don’t. Its at the dry cleaners.”

He swore again, glancing at the time. “I’ll be back then.” He said, deciding to run to the department store a block away and buy a new one. As he walked he typed out emails on his phone, not watching where he was going.

It resulted in him colliding with another man and both of them tumbling to the ground. “Oh! Fuck, I’m sorry. That was-” Stan started to apologize then took a longer look at the man. He was wearing ratty capris and a ripped white shirt that revealed his chiseled chest. He was also barefoot.

His appearance wasn’t the strangest thing though. No, strangest thing was that Stan knew this man, though it’d been decades since he saw them- and then he’d thought he hallucinated him.

Stan had seen him before when he was a child at the beach. He’d seen someone swimming and had gone to the end of the dock to talk to the person but had quickly realized that it wasn’t a person, at least not entirely. Instead of legs the other boys dark torso ended in an emerald green tail. They had looked at each other in shock, both staring before Stan remember the manners that had been hammered into him.

“I’m Stan Uris.” He said, extending a hand. “I’m seven and I live in Maine but we vacation here.” The other boy swam a few feet away, out of Stan’s reach, watching him cautiously. “I won’t hurt you.” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a squished granola bar. “Do you want some?”

Slowly, the boy swam back, taking the bar. Stan had mimicked eating and the other boy tried it, immediately spitting it out. Stan giggled. “I don’t like it either.”

He had spent hours that day with the boy. He didn’t seem to talk- at least not that Stan could understand- but they communicated through gestures. That night he’d eagerly told his parents about his new friend only to be told it was impossible, that mermaids weren’t real.

 He spent the rest of the vacation hoping to see him again but never did. Over the years he’d convinced himself he was imagining things and tried to put it out of his mind. But now the man was in front of him, staring at Stan.

“Are you-” Stan glanced around, making sure no one was listening. “Are you the merman?” Even as it left his mouth it sounded crazy.

The man smiled. “I’m Mike.”

“That’s not an answer.” Stan said, shaking his head. “Why are you dressed like that?” Mike was still on the ground so Stan offered him a hand, pulling Mike up.

“I found these.” Mike said, gesturing at himself. “You humans insist on them.”

Stan stared at him. “You are the merman.” He whispered.

Mike cocked his head. “I guess that’s what you would call me.”

“How are you here? And why?” None of this made sense, Stan’s head was spinning and he realized that he was still holding hands with Mike. Quickly he jerked his hand back, staring at the man in front of him.

Mike simply shrugged. “I don’t know. I woke up with these things-” He pointed to his legs. “Instead of my tail and started walking. People stared and I realized I needed these fabrics,” He fingered his shirt. “I acquired some and then walked more- until now. when I found you.”  Mike’s eyes were warm and watching him. Stan felt himself grow warm under the gaze.

“You need shoes.” Mike furrowed his brow and Stan pointed to his own. “Don’t your feet hurt?”

Mike looked down then nodded. “I assumed that your species was always in pain. This is an inconvenient way to get around, on these spindly things.” He lifted a leg, shaking his head.

Stan couldn’t help it, he chuckled at Mike’s confused expression. The other man caught his eye, smiling broadly. His hand darted out and he cupped Stan’s cheek. “I liked that. You should do it again.”

Stan flushed. “What? Smile?” Mike nodded and Stan grinned, laughing nervously from the intense attention.

“It looks better when you smile.” Mike told him. “It’s like when the sun catches the scales of a fish and it reflects the brightness back.”

“I- thank you.” He glanced around but no one seemed to care about them. The advantages of a big city. “Do you want me to get you some shoes? Maybe some food?”

“I think I’d like that.” Mike said, stepping besides Stan and linking their arms. Stan thought about moving away but Mike was asking him a million questions about humans and city life and he was too distracted to care.

It was certainly shaping up to be an interesting day.

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 5x10 Into the Woods

aka Team Buffy all the way

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode does a fantastic job with its characters, and portraying conflicts in a way that’s understandable from all perspectives… But I’m still with my girl, Buffy on this one. Stop putting your issues on her.

You know, I always say that I’ll be quick and short with these posts, and then I end up trying to organize my thoughts about Buffy’s depression over two hours anyway… This time though, I really do got a time schedule, so if this post ends on a half-thought, just know that I’m probably running to catch my train for my vacation trip as you’re reading this.

So let’s talk the episode. I was actually sort of reminded of Dead Man’s Party with this one, as the poster child of blaming Buffy for dealing with her trauma by distancing herself. However, Into the Woods is a much needed improvement on that scenario, as Buffy’s rebuttals on Riley’s ultimatum are given the necessary weight, and she gets to go off and express her feelings about him putting the blame on her for his actions.

(Both episodes have also been written by Marti Noxon - you can always count on her for your ugly self-reflective arguments and dramas.)

When she tells Riley that this is all she can give to him, this is the whole package, and if that’s not enough for him, then that’s not on her and they got some serious problems… I felt that. Especially as this is a period in Buffy’s life where her depression is starting to affect her life more and more. There’s quite a large part of me that just wanted to give a big old fuck you to Riley right there and move on.

And yet I also get what Xander was trying to say when he convinced Buffy to try and give it another shot. Sure, we can talk about all the textual ways in which Xander relates to Riley, and what this scene might mean from that angle… But whatever else is going on there, Xander’s speech comes from a genuine love for Buffy. He wants her to be happy and not to make a decision she might later regret.

Because as much as Riley’s ultimatum is bullshit, as much as it’s not on Buffy to make that decision for him… Sometimes, we have to compromise for the people we love, and let go of our egos. We can’t always wait for the other to take the first step to mend our conflict.

The problem is that Buffy is especially wary about those compromises after Angel. To recap, season 2 and season 3 was basically one big lesson for her about not losing herself in another relationship. So yeah, it’s no wonder that Riley feels a distance from her.

But this is who Buffy is now. Someone who learned to rely on herself, to not make one person the center of her universe. Someone who is going to be struggling with depression for the rest of the series. I don’t think that she could be who Riley wants right now, and I kinda hate that we are making her feel bad about that.

Especially since Riley’s problems go well beyond Buffy. He made Buffy the center of his universe, because he’s lost his previous purpose in life with the Initiative, and he can’t handle that he is not Buffy’s whole world in return. There is some commentary here about ex-military and veterans too, who decide to go back to war because they can’t find their place back in society… But I do feel like most of that gets lost with all the relationship stuff.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing; this is some meaty relationship drama after all. But there was some potential for other angles too for sure.

Speaking of emotions, I’ll also be the first to admit, that the ending with Xander’s speech to Anya, and then Buffy walking home got to me. It’s a great speech, so much so, I don’t even take issue with the “you make me feel like a man” part. This is Buffy the show after all, and for Xander, being comfortable in his own type of masculinity is kind of a biggie. It also makes a nice full circle with the last scene in The Replacement between Xander and Riley.

Earlier in the episode, Buffy accuses Xander of treating Anya the same way she does Riley, but Xander is actually ready to take those first steps towards Anya. Both Xander and Anya are willing to compromise for each other, and that’s what makes their relationship work at this point in time.

Meanwhile, as far as Riley goes… He’s been a character that I always wanted to like. He gets a lot of flack just for being a love interest opposing other more popular ships, and that makes me automatically want to go into protective mode over him… But the truth is, much like all of Buffy’s love interests, he’s terrible in his own unique way.

He’s always been insecure about his masculinity with Buffy, and he never really got over that. There’s a whole lot of casual sexism and entitlement that comes with his package too, and worse, he rarely seems to be self-aware enough of those. I just also feel like he’s not in the right mindset right now to be in an adult relationship, and I wish that he expressed that more to Buffy, instead of putting her in the impossible position of making his life choices for him.

And while there’s a lot I was able to sympathize with in this episode, that whole shtick about Buffy “needing some monster in her men”? Give me a fucking break. It puts Riley into this Nice Guy light, and portrays Buffy as a Bad Boy magnet, and you know what, fuck that. There are plenty of reasons why this relationship is falling apart, and Riley not being “enough of a monster” or whatever the fuck he and Spike were going on, is not one of them.

I liked seeing a bit of a darker side to Buffy here though. Good old Marti knows how to bring out the ugly in the characters you love, and Buffy burning down the house, and then killing the girl that was feeding on Riley as she was running away… That was some quality repressed rage.

(Just don’t think about the sex work metaphor with those vampires…)

Oh yeah and the first 10 or so minutes with Buffy’s mom’s surgery? Once again, all the feelings. Buffy and Joyce’s wig talk was a delight as well.

We’ve also got a bit of an intro to the next episode, with Anya calling out Willow for mocking her weirdness. So that one should be fun.

See y’all in a week or so.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

oooh I’d definitely like to see mick and xander for the character sheet thing!

Alright! I’ll do Mick on this one and a separate one for Xander.

Dotted orange text is category

Numbered bold text is subcategory (ie. favorite food and favorite color under Favorites)

—————

Name: Makana Kaya Birch

From: Broken Record and Creating a Rift (my Teen Beach Movie fanfictions)

Age: 16 (Broken Record) and 18-19 (Creating a Rift

Appearance: Brown hair, just past shoulder blades. Brown eyes with a green ring. Wears mostly shorts and t-shirts in her world, but wears more dresses and play suits in Wet Side Story.

Preferences:

Sexuality: Straight

Favorites:

Food: Tacos

Color: Red

Animal: Octopus

Weather: Snowing. She visited New Hampshire with her parents for Christmas one year and fell in love with snow.

Season: Summer

Time of day: Afternoon/Evening

Music: Beach Boys

Foods they will/will not eat.

Will: Pretty much anything.

Won’t: Chili and yogurt. (Frozen yogurt is fine, just not regular yogurt)

Religion: The attend church, never said which. It’s up to the reader.

Political Beliefs: Independent. (She chooses whoever seems best, not by their status as either a Democrat or a Republican)

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Personality: Empathic. Laid back to an extent, but mature enough to know when to be serious. She has a good head on her shoulders and has high hopes for attending a college in Florida, the other side of the country.

Family:

Parents: McKenzie Phoebe Birch, née Ellis, and Brady Aaron Birch

Any siblings? No.

Family life:

What was it like growing up? Pretty nice. Mack was the more serious one and Brady was the more laid back one. They evened each other out enough for Mick to have a simple, yet loving childhood.

Anything from childhood that affects them in their present state? Being taught to surf at only 3. Her great-grandfather (Mack’s grandfather) teaching her that communication is important in relationships. Her parents making her watch Wet Sode Story all the time and listen to their stories about being there.

Discipline as a child? If she got in trouble at school/at home she was kept from surfing, dancing and listening to music. If she got grounded for any reason, she was kept between home and school along with the aforementioned discipline. Getting low grades was never something Mick worried about, but her parents knew that if she got a grade lower than a C, she would get a tutor, but that was all.

Rich, poor or in between? In between. They weren’t rich rich, but they had enough to not worry about money much. Due to Mack being a professor and Brady creating new technology along with taking over the surf shop, they were well off.

Cultural history:

Any affects? Not really. She is French, Italian and a touch Scottish. Mack and Brady taught her that she was no different from anyone else and that skin color/cultures don’t mean you can treat/be treated by others differently.

Traditions? Visiting her Mom’s family back in New Hampshire every other Thanksgiving. They visit Australia to surf every year. Brady’s family will take the family for a vacation every once in a while.

Flaws

Overthinker. Mick takes things apart bit by bit until she’s come to her own conclusion, whether it be right or wrong.

Too straight forward. She has no filter to keep things from going directly from her mind to her mouth. Sometimes, she’ll catch herself, but other times, what she’s thinking will make it’s way out.

Over emotional. I think we’ve all seen her overreact to things like the whole journal thing and the idea that Butchy might drop her for someone better.

Wants

Attend a college.

Get married, maybe get a dog.

Visit England and maybe Japan.

Help her dad make new kinds of surfboards.

Needs

Family time.

Medication (EpiPen and inhaler).

Love, both familial and otherwise.

Pictures of cute animals.

Fears

Heights.

Alzheimer’s/Dimentia.

Losing the ability to surf.

Being strangled/attacked.

Losing her best friends/family/husband.

How do they handle:

Disappointment: If directed toward herself, she clams up and holds it against herself for a while. If directed towards others, she will make sure to say she’s disappointed, yet not make it a big deal after maybe a day or so.

Anger: Depending on the range, she can go from rolling her eyes and scoffing to full on assault mode where she can (and will) harm the person *cough* Xander *cough*

Embarrassment: Try to fight it and pretend her face isn’t a cherry look alike.

Betrayal: From a friend, probably alienate herself from them slowly until there isn’t any more contact between them. From others, most likely just say “why?” and try to move on.

Fight or flight: Depends, once again. In an attack, fight. In a situation she really doesn’t wanna be a part of, fly like a bird.

Money: Mick hates to spend money on herself. She likes to save her money and use it when necessary if it’s on herself. She’s all for spending on her friends, though, as long as it’s in reason.

Lack of sleep: Insert Red Bull and energy pills.

Alcohol: Hahahahaha! Fucking drunk off her ass. I could see her going through this, stage by stage, within maybe an hour of drinking:

Injustice: Try to find a way to make things right again. “There will always be a solution as long as we try hard enough.” -Mick from a future chapter...

Mental illness: She gets so frustrated about it, lemme tell you. When she got her memory back, a seed of fear planted itself in her that she may lose her mind someday. She’s not from the perfect world Butchy’s from, she’s scared of forgetting everything again.

Grief: Closing herself off so nobody can see her crying or worrying over existential fears.

Exercise: Other than dancing, surfing, and maybe riding her bicycle, she despises exercising. Her gym teacher in elementary school made them run laps on the track around the football field almost every class, so she developed a hatred of exercise. (My school had a mile long track around the field that our teacher forced us to do. Use that as a guide for how far the teacher made these 5-9 year old kids run)

Defining moment: You’ll see it soon, let’s just leave it at that.

How do they feel about:

Glitter: Every Halloween, Mick will run to the costume supply shop and stock up on all of the glitter they possess. Pressed glitter, yup. Little bottles that you’re supposed to put on as necklaces, you betcha! Glitter eyeliner, ooooh yeah! Glitter witch hats and sparkly crowns, she owns three of them already!

Ferris Wheels: HECK NO.

Camping: In a camper, yes. On the ground, no. Not with all the mosquitoes and other creepy crawlies lurking about. In other words, Mick is our average Glamper.

Coffee: Brown water with ground up beans? Yeah, no, she’ll pass.

Crispy or floppy bacon: Any bacon is good bacon. She likes it in the middle, but anyway is good, really.

Mushrooms: Allergic.

Twilight Saga: Sparkly boys and werewolves and a fucking creepy cgi baby and-, hold up, is that Jay? Like, Mal and Malina’s friend? Wtf??? 🤨🤨

Guns: Owns a mini gun for protection and shares custody of a shotgun with Butchy. Butchy taught her how to use them both properly in case of an emergency or if someone were to break in. She is a licensed owner and never has had to use them before. She believes that guns don’t kill people, the people holding them do.

Extras

Do they have a signature smile? Not really.

Do they have a tell when they lie? Fidgeting with fingernails or scratching her head.

Do they have any nervous ticks? Her fingers shake, she bites her lips/cheeks, and her legs bounce if she’s sitting at a table or something.

Do they speak loudly, softly, or average? Average, leaning more toward loud.

Quality of voice. Smooth, like a lake on a windless day. Her voice rises more toward the middle of her sentences, but can also fall into a deeper tone if she’s not really concentrating on her inflection. It’s almost like watching a pinball rise and fall throughout a game, never sure where it’ll go.

Do they gesture when talking? She’s French. Of course she talks with her hands. Perhaps she should take up sign language, that might help her to stop gesturing so loudly 😆

Do they understand personal space? Yes, very much so. She enjoys her personal space and grants that to other as well out of habit.

How do they greet others? Usually “Hey” “Hi” or “What’s up?”

How do they say goodbye? “See you later/around!”

Something they always have with/on them. The bracelet with Butchy’s initial that matches the one he has with her initial. Her engagement ring. The flower ring. Her lucky shell necklace with a heart bead dangling from the center.

Do they recognize people better by their face or their name? She’s terrible with both, to be honest. She knows the names of people, but can never decide if it’s them or not by looking at them.Reversely, if she were to recognize someone as familiar, she wouldn’t be able to place a name with them until they said who they were.

What do they admire most in others? Honesty. Fairness. Compassion. Love of animals. Love in general. Intellect.

Pet peeves. Silverware grinding on ceramic plates/bowls. Questionably sticky floors. Loud people when there’s no reason to be loud.

What grosses them out? The smell of sliced cheese with nothing else on/with it, the smell of peroxide/rubbing alcohol, moist objects, the smell of diesel radiating off of a truck.

[internetremix]

Hey Internet Remix! If you guys could travel to any location from a video game, where would you go and why??

Uprising: That’s an amazing question Uh™

Tex: I’d go to stardew valley and live there forever

Kristen: I would love to live in Traverse Town from the original KH. It just feels so cozy. Though I suppose it comes with the unfortunate fact that my world has been swallowed by darkness but uh hey whatever!

I would also love to go to Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp but only with the caveat that I have psychic powers. Though the idea of someone with no powers having to be a counselor at Whispering Rock sounds like a very silly situation haha.

Brodingles: Either Unova or Alola. Unova has the hustle and bustle, but Alola is just the right amount of fun and chill

Juno: The Mushroom Kingdom or the Alola region HI FIVE BRO

Brodingles: HI FIVE

Juno: I NEED to ride my boy Mantine. I need to capture the buff mosquito and the pretty rocket princess

Brodingles: Want masala and hilariously ineffective gangsters

Juno: IT’S OUR BOY! GUZMA!

Xander: I think Kristen wouldn’t mind a vacation to Darkwater Island This is such a hard question for me to answer because there are so many choices… I’d love to go to Azeroth, honestly. BECOME AN ADVENTURER and study magic

Kristen: Perish, Xander.

Uprising: I don’t know what I would want. Skyrim, maybe. The forbidden lands so I can just fuckin chill with lizards forever. And I’d like to go to the island that Sora Riku and kairi live on (and wakka and tidus and stuff but squeenix forgot about them) OK AZRROTH IS A GOOD CHOIVR but so many political strife

Juno: Like fire emblem places can be pretty but like there’s war

Uprising: Yea azeroth is like fire emblem places

Kristen: lmao remember when Destiny island had cameo side characters

Uprising: In that sense Destiny island killed the final fantasy characters

Alex: Congratulations fucko you’ve been drafted into Fire Emblem War and the player is Real Bad

Juno: “This isn’t so bad”

is Thracia 776

“Oh No”

Uprising: OH WAIT I HAVR A BETTER ONE KRISTEN! TWILIGHT TOWN!

I N F I N A T E I C E C R E A M

Alex: Before you can live in Twilight Town you must do a tutorial for thirty-seven hours

Uprising: That’s fine

Kristen: I like Twilight Town but I actually like Traverse Town more. Part of it may just be Traverse Town feels like an actual town and I could explore for hours and just imagine Sora’s little normal life there like a huge nerd. Though God I still wanna try seasalt ice cream so bad.

Alex: Okay but very important question, by including Kingdom Hearts are we also including the Disney worlds in Kingdom Hearts?

Kristen: Yes.

Juno: Mushroom Kingdom offers extreme kart racing with no consequences too

Alex: True, true. It also throws some crazy parties

Juno: With extreme party games with no consequence except for Flip the Chimp related rage. Flip the Chimp can eat my coconuts.

Alex: Mushroom Kingdom has a pretty good case going for it. I’d say the Halloween Town, Dream Land, or the Mario Odyssey kingdoms.

Also in ye olden days I banded a forum (mostly) together against the awfulness that was Flip the Chimp and made a man my one-sided sworn enemy because I joked “no one can beat Flip the Chimp” and he aggressively insisted he did.But no longer could because I made the jokes and that affected his groove.

Juno: f

Phill: Elder scrolls Tamriel all the way

Split: Wouldnt mind giving any elder scrolls locations or like, hyrule a visit as a modern day man lol Im bringin a gun of some kind though these places are fuckin dangerous

Juno: Split Shoots Ganondorf

Alex: link…. with a gun

Split: Listen, it was self defense

Jojo: Portal land

Kristen: Jojo wants robot verbal abuse and dangerous puzzles

Jojo: ;)

Invidebit: disnie princecs enchantned journy PRINCECS CASLE so i can meet all of my faverite princecs

Scott: The locales in Sonic’s universe are gorgeous and fun to traverse. Definitely that hands down.

Moon: I’d go purely in a lava pit in minecraft. Cause then I’ll perish and be hot at the same time.

Juno: no moon no

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, October 2

Willow: Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year. Xander: Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept. Buffy: What's the deal? Xander: Oh, a bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or- treating. Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night. Buffy: Yikes. I'll stick to vampires.

~~Halloween~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

this hell is better with you (Buffy/Faith, G) by gallifreyanlostintheuniverse

Whumptober 2022 Prompt No. 2-Nowhere To Run (Crossver with Supernatural, NR) by stargazingspuffy

Equi Feri (Buffy/Giles, G) by RG1954

The Hoops of Flame (Spike/Angel, M) by Anonymous

Washer at the Ford (Angel/Cordelia, M) by Lostakasha

Into Every Stranger Generation (Crossover with Stranger Things, M) by eddiemunsons80sbaby

[Chaptered Fiction]

Where Will I Meet My Fate, Chapter 2 (Angel/Cordelia, T) by FanFreak611

The Gift of Baldur's Gate 2: The Search for Dawn, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Baldur's Gate/Dungeons and Dragons, T) by BrennaLynn

Batman: The Buffy Chronicles, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Batman, T) by BrennaLynn

The Real McCoy, Chapter 15 (Ensemble, T) by michael t

Buffy and the Lost City of the Dead, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, R) by JaneRemmington

Vacation with a vampire, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Coraline

i'm only man (with a candle to guide me), Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, R) by trevino

Daughter of Aurelius, Chapter 51 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Loup Noir

Off My Rocker, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike/Drusilla, R) by Desicat

Learning to Be Love's Bitch, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Desicat

Adventures of a Super Family, Chapter 107 (Crossover with Supergirl, FR13) by Philister

It Devours, Chapter 1 (Crossover with Marvel, FR13) by Buffyworldbuilder

Echoes of Beljoxa, Chapter 1 (Spike/Buffy, 18+) by myrabeth

What Makes a Monster, Chapter 7 (Spike/Buffy, 18+) by SleepingTigress

Chapter (Spike/Buffy, ) by

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: Spike/William the Bloody made in MS Paint by Key_Shallot_2415

Artwork: Sunnypops! by illustrated_mixtape

Meme: Mean Girls (Sunnydale Edition) by gimmesomespace

Manip: it's better than I ever knew (PG-13) by scratchmeout

Comic: D-straction Day: All Night Long Issue #2 (NSFW) by HappyWhenItRains

Artwork:BTVS “Every Outfit” “Goodbye Iowa” Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

Meme: BTVS romancebookmemes by authordeeplex

Gifset: ↬ 1.04: “teacher’s pet” by buffy-the-slay3r

Gifset:👻 HALLOWEEN 2022 👻 day two • buffy the vampire slayer by meliorn

Gifset: ↳ 4.01: “The Freshman” by mr-giles

Gifset:4.09 “Something Blue” | 7.13 “The Killer in Me” by spikedaily

Gifset:5.05 | “No Place Like Home” by schrutedwight

[Reviews & Recaps]

Boys ‘N’ Ghouls Film Review Podcast: Episode 244 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series by Black Cat Film Productions

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season Two, Episode Fourteen: Innocence by Slayed! The Buffyverse Revisited Podcast

Buffy 3x10 - Amends - REACTION! Oz... Come on man! by Big Time Knights

ONE FLEW OVER THE BUFFY'S NEST! Buffy, the Vampire Slayer 6x17 'Normal Again' Reaction! by Elie Moses

no. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Reaction - 5x16 - The Body by TheLexiCrowd

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 2) Episodes Ranked | THE CHERRY PICKER After Dark (PREVIEW) by The Cherry Picker

Introducing: "The Rewatcher: Buffy The Vampire Slayer" by Weird Darkness

[Fandom Discussions]

[none of the characters even understand souls] by deadwivesclub

Drusilla's name by nightshade and Octavia

Giles/Ripper or William/Spike by multiple authors

Too many deaths by multiple authors

Angel Season 5 Rewatch - #17 Underneath (SPOILERS) by Involvere and GoSpuffy

This is a shout out to the foley artists by skinky-dink

Wesley's expression in this pic would be my expression if I could ever see Faith in real life lol. I love the drama in Orpheus. What are everyone's opinions on the episode? by multiple authors

What was the best-acted scene in the series? by multiple authors

A moment to appreciate Fred and Spike's friendship by multiple authors

Poll: who did you prefer with giles? by multiple authors

Any characters you wish you saw have more one on one scenes or a centric episode on them by multiple authors

Poll: Saddest Buffy Summers quote? by multiple authors

Not sure if this is a theory or if it’s a super common view by multiple authors

Aresteia by Moon_Logic and multiple authors

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

INTERVIEW: David Boreanaz Talks Being Part of Potential 'Angel' Reunion via popculture.

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Is Setting the Stage for a Spike/Xander Romance via ScreenRant

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Join the editor team :)

[singledarkshade]

Sunnydale Centurion

Part Six - Wild Animals

“We’ve got the yearly fieldtrip tomorrow to the zoo,” Rory told Amy while he rested back on his pillows with the phone against his ear.

She laughed, “Sounds exciting.”

“As Xander and Willow remind me every year it means we’re not in class,” Rory told her, “I suppose they do have a point.”

“They’re right,” Amy told him, “Be thankful, we have a math test tomorrow.”

Rory chuckled before asking wryly, “Did you study or are you just winging it?”

“I did study,” she sounded offended before adding, “A little.”

A fond smile touched his lips.

“So, what about this new girl you told me about?” Amy asked, “What was her name again?”

“Buffy,” Rory replied, “And she’s nice, a good friend.”

“Really?” Amy asked drawing out the question, “Just a friend?”

Rory grimaced wanting to tell Amy there would never be anyone for him but her. As usual the words stuck because he knew she wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings.

“She has a boyfriend,” he lied, although from the looks of things whenever she was with Angel something would happen soon, “Besides I think of her the same way I think of Mels.”

“Someone you’re going to have to bail out of jail soon?” Amy asked cheekily.

Rory laughed, “Hopefully not.”

They both laughed for several moments while Rory thought of the other girl in Leadworth he missed.

“When are you coming home?” Amy demanded suddenly.

“It won’t be until the middle of summer vacation this year,” Rory told her, “But we will be home for three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” Amy asked, “And you promise you will be in the same country as me for twenty-one whole days?”

“I promise,” Rory smiled at her demand.

“Good,” she stated firmly, “And you better spend all your time with us.”

Rory laughed, “I need to see my gran too.”

“You’ll be staying with her,” Amy reminded him, “You’ll see her each night.”

He laughed again before promising, “I��ll do my best.”

“As long as you’re here,” she said softly.

Rory smiled before frowning when he heard his mother’s voice calling, “This is your two minute warning.”

They both sighed.

“I hate this,” Amy said, “Only getting to talk to you for one hour a week.”

Rory couldn’t help but smile at that, “I hate it too but you remember how much we had to fight to get even this.”

“Amy!!!”

Rory grimaced as her Aunt called out the one minute warning.

“I’ll talk to you next week,” he promised, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Amy replied, “Enjoy the zoo.”

                                *********************************************

  Rory was confused by how Xander was acting.

They’d known one another for several years and Rory had never seen Xander treat Willow like she was anything less than brilliant. Watching his friend treat her like she was nothing more than a piece of dirt on the sole of his shoe made Rory want to punch him more than he’d ever wanted to hit anyone.

“She is to me,” his voice echoed through his mind before he felt and heard the smack of his fist against a jaw.

Rory was pulled back to the corridor when Xander slammed into him, turning back for a moment the dark eyes of his friend were darker than he’d ever seen. Ice slid along his spine when Xander turned his back and continued along with his new friends.

Something was seriously wrong.

“Something’s wrong with Xander,” Rory announced entering the library where Buffy and Giles were talking.

Buffy smacked Giles’ arm triumphant, “See, even Rory sees it and he’s a teenage boy.”

“Did I miss half this conversation?” Rory asked confused.

“Herbert!” Willow’s voice made them turn to find her running into the library, “They found him.”

Buffy frowned, “The pig?”

Willow nodded looking sick, “Dead,” she told them before grimacing in horror, “And also eaten. Principal Flutie's freaking out.”

Rory shook his head, “Tell me he didn’t?”

Buffy turned to Giles folding her arms across her chest triumphantly, “Testosterone, huh?”

Giles stared at them for a moment before turning and heading into his office.

Willow shared a confused look with Rory before asking, “What're you gonna do?”

“Get my books,” Giles told them a little bemused, “Look stuff up.”

  Rory grimaced as he read more on hyenas, looking up as Buffy dragged an unconscious Xander into the library.

“Hurry up,” Buffy told them as Rory bounded to his feet to help, “We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to.”

Willow stared at her, “Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?”

“I hit him,” Buffy told them.

“With what?” Rory asked moving to check his friend.

Buffy shrugged, “A desk.”

Rory turned to her, “What?”

Willow opened the cage and they watched Buffy drag him inside. She took a breath and locked the cage stopping Rory.

“I need to make sure he’s okay,” Rory told her.

Buffy placed her hand on his chest, “That’s not Xander right now. Trust me it took a lot to knock him out.”

Rory grimaced, “But...”

“I know your instinct is to look after him but right now he’s the enemy,” Buffy said before squeezing his arm, she turned and glanced round the room, “Where's Giles?”

“He got called to some teacher's meeting,” Willow told her before asking worriedly, “What are we gonna do?” Rory wrapped his arm around Willow who shakily asked, “How do we get Xander back?”

Buffy shook her head as Rory hugged Willow close both of them staring at their friend. The door opening made Rory turn to see Giles and he held onto Willow tighter at the look on the older man’s face.

Buffy sighed still looking at their unconscious friend, “Right now I'm a little more worried about what the rest of the pack are up to.”

“The rest of the pack,” Giles spoke up making the two girls turn, “Were spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage. They were sent to the principal's office.”

Rory felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Willow nodded, “Good! That'll show them,” she said before wincing at the look on Giles’ face, “Did it show them?”

Giles continued to frown looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“They didn't hurt him, did they?” Buffy asked concerned.

“They, uh...” Giles hesitated and took a deep breath before finishing, “Ate him.”

Willow slipped from Rory’s grip and moved to sit down; Rory reached out and leaned on the counter trying to understand what he’d just heard.

“They ate Principal Flutie?” Buffy whispered horrified.

“Ate him up?” Willow asked looking as sick as Rory felt.

Giles leaned against the counter and took his glasses off to clean then, “The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow. There was no one at the scene.”

Willow winced before she looked up, “But Xander didn't,” she turned to Buffy, “He, he was with you.”

“Oh,” Giles glanced over to the cage, “Well, that's a small mercy.”

Rory folded his arms across his chest, “So what do we do now?”

                                  *********************************************

  “How are you feeling?” Rory asked Xander who was sitting in the library with his lunch now thankfully free of the hyena for two days.

Xander showed him the cheese sandwich he was eating, “Like being a vegetarian for the next few months.”

Rory chuckled and sat beside his friend who looked relieved that Rory wasn’t shying away from him.

“I can understand,” Rory replied, pulling out his own lunch.

They sat in silence eating until the girls joined them. Rory caught them worriedly watching Xander who was busying himself opening a bag of chips.

“Okay,” Rory spoke up making them all turn to him, “My mum and Nick are out tonight. You guys want to come over and watch a movie?”

The other three turned to him and a ripple of agreement moved through the room.

“I know the perfect movie,” Xander announced with a grin, “You guys have seen Cujo right?”

Part Seven - Chocolate

[kaywritesthings]

The door.

aith: Faith spent a lot of time these days trying to disappear. With Buff and her little Slayer Central thing dealing with all of the big deal hellmouth shit, she really just had random vamps here and there, low level demons...  It was, quite honestly, boring as fuck, and if it didn't mean going back with her tail between her legs, she'd have run back to B and her stupid goody-two-shoes friends.  But for now, Faith was fine just coasting. She'd got a couple of vamps earlier, and now she was in the club, dancing her heart out on the floor in between drinks. Right now, still slightly sweaty from the dancing, she slipped over to the bar and grabbed another stiff drink, and then followed her nose to a small cloud of smoke nearby.  She leaned against the table and smiled her slow easy smile.  "What's a girl got to do for a hit off that?"

???? changed name to Zac

Zac: Zac was enjoying his vacation? Here. It was an odd place to have a vacation. WEll, really his car broek down and instead of whinning about it. He said it must be fate, and this is where he was suppose to have his vacation. He had his own personal cute little fog machine he had set up at his table, and when a girl who had no business talking to him came up. He just said a big huh? " A puff of hot ice?" He asked. He didnt mean to sound like a jerk, but he really wondered if people did that here. "Sure, help yourself. I mean go woman's rights." He laughed out loud. "I had three shots and I feel it" He was a bit of an over sharer.

Faith: Faith let out a soft groan- she had been sure that that amount of smoke could only be from pot, and she knew she could, in her infinite super strength, just go hustle someone for it, but it was nicer to ask.  "I thought it was pot," she explained and pushed the smoke away, finally revealing the guy sitting there.  She looked him over, and gave him a smirk.  "You carry hot ice around with you, big boy?  You don't usually come to places like this do ya."

Zac: "Well, no. I am from New Jersey." He said. "I met a freind though." He waved at xander who was busy with someone else, a short guy. "anyway, yeah, so wow you are still here. Usually girls look at me and bounce after two words, and I get it. " He shrugged. "I am too good looking for them." He teased with a wink. "I can buy you a drink, but I'm sure you heard that one like a million times."

Faith: Faith shrugged and slid into the seat beside him, kicking up one foot on the on the table and spreading out.  She was never really good at being ladylike.  "I went though a phase of dating bouncers.  Most of 'em look like you but a little taller," she said and winked.  "I just finished a drink, so I'm not going turn one down.  Unless you got a price tag to go along with that drink," Faith said and leaned against his side. "Then we'll need to negotiate."

Zac: Zac was lost what tag meant. "Huh?" He got a little stiff when she sat beside him, becaeu this never happened. He was still pretty much a virgin. It had been long enough. She was young and hot. "What kind of drink tag do you want?" He asked. Xander came over and sat dwon acknowleging Faith.

Faith: Faith chuckled a little.  "Nevermind, get me a drink," she said and laughed.  "I'll have a whiskey neat," she ordered and then turned when she was Xander come up.  "Don't you have another slayer to annoy?   Blonde, cute, perky?"  She smirked.  "Run along, shoo."

Zac: "slayer? Oh, like the game? I am top score in Jersey." He said. "I didnt know you played" He said with a loud ohhh gasp. He looked her over and saw Xander leave. "Faith, he needs to get laid. Help him out." Zac blushed and shook his head "No that is very bad." He blushed and went to get a drink. HE came back. "But I can go a little bad.. I'm gay.. for women." he laughed and took a sip.

Faith: "Yeah, babe, like the game," Faith said and let out a sultry sort of chuckle and pat his chest.  Faith  hummed.  "You could always break him in!" she called after Xander, laughing brightly.  She watched the guy run off and smiled to herself.  She really had laid most of the guys in this town already that were worth the time of day.  And half the girls too, for that matter.  She really didn't have much to lose.  "Hey, I'm gay for women too," Faith said and smirked, taking a long sip of her drink.  "But I like driving stick too," she said and walked her fingers over his chest. "I found in my experience that big guys have pretty thick sticks."

Zac: Zac had a lot of anxiety and she was so close, and he could smell her hair shampoo. It smelled peach shampoo. Herbal essence scent. He liked herbal essence. "A stick?" He  squeaked. He wasnt sure what to say to that, but nodded. "I love sticks."He grabbed hi beer and downed it, wondered if he was on some prank show right now.

Faith: Faith laughed brightly.  This guy was a trip.  She wasn't sure if he really knew what she was getting at, so she leaned closer and pressed her breasts against his arm.  "Really?  That's diappointing.  I thought you might be interested in letting me ride it a little later."

Zac: Zac laughed out loud. She said such interesting things. Then her breast was up close and he tried nto to look at them, even though he really   wanted to. "You can.. do whatever you want.. I dont know your name. " He confessed.