#my dad isnt the best but hes decent and is a great & kind man above all. my aunt is nice too but wtf is going on with my cousin

[echo-s-land]

The way my father and aunt are both religious but in a total opposite way is insane

[banesbottombitch]

Headcannons of the bowers gang as single parents?🤔 btw, love your writing!

Fuck it, lets do this. I’ve got so many feelings about this. For disclaimers sake, the boys are 20-25, so college age. This is long.

Henry “You are my Sunshine but you’re also a Pain” Bowers

First of all, he was’t ready. Nothing prepared him to end up alone, with a baby that was his newest and most precious responsibility.

The mothers either DIED, or straight up left the baby in his arms and was  like “your problem now” either way, he does not consider adoption. 

Called Vic first, actually crying, because how the fuck does he do better for this kid than his dad did for him? He has no idea how to nurture, to care, to help something grow and thrive. He confesses his fears, and Vic gets Belch and the three of them drive to the closest department store, picking out baby shit.

Has no idea how bottles work. Gets the cheapest kind possible, and is so upset when the baby wont drink from them (texture might be off, his dumb ass didnt warm the milk, his dumb ass gave the baby COWS MILK, the list goes on) and screeches in frustration when they leak because, yet again, he got the cheapest fuckers possible

He’d be out of his dads house by this time, probably college age (about 20-25) but he has made a point to not let his dad know of his child’s existence, because lets face it, Butch would wanna see his grandkid (especially if its a boy). So, Henry keeps the information that he’s a new dad on lock down

Calls Mama Huggins weekly for advice, and actively looks at parenting hacks online. He’s trying his best to be a good dad, and would take extra shifts for work to make ends meet. His kid would probably go into daycare sometimes, but he doesnt like leaving them with strangers and just tries to get one of the guys (or Mama Huggins) to take them for a few hours.

Uses his kid as a chick magnet. Goes to parks and hits on the single moms while he helps his toddler roam around. Gets a lot of ass because of this, since he comes off as a very caring dad (he is, surprisingly).

Dresses his baby girl up like bad asses. His daughter wears his old bandanna with her princess outfit (claiming she is a cowgirl princess, because of course she is) or gets a jean vest with decently kid friendly patches on it, and parades her around when he gets the chance. Insanely protective of her, and follows her when she plays at the park and later as she gets older, he makes her text him where she is at all times. Low key helicopter dad. The type of dad to clean a gun in front of her new boyfriend, 11/10.

 His son’s hair gets styled into a fohawk daily and he’s encouraged to wear cool printed shirts his uncles (the rest of the gang) get him that have various metal bands on them and stuff. Teaches him sports, and drags him along to baseball games when he can. Was a bit torn when he heard his son was causing trouble in school, but decides that he cant have his kid doing the same shit he did and nips the bullying in the bud. His son got his temper, and it upsets Henry sometimes how easy it is for them to snap at each other once he gets older.

Takes his kid fishing, hiking, rides on motorcycles, ect. Lots of out door activities. His favorite is to take his kid out fishing, because they’re TRAPPED with him and he gets to spend the day with his mini-me, making crappy jokes and teaching them how to do proper techniques, like he always wished his dad would have done with him.

Gets really stern with his kid though. Takes no fucking bullshit from them, and lives the line “because I said so”, expecting his kid to listen. He loves them, he would NEVER raise a hand to them, but he’s not above a sit down and heavy glare if they mouth off to him or act up in public.

Lives his life better to make his kid’s life better. Goes to anger management if he thinks he’s starting to emulate Butch, and he’s explained to his kid why they’re so distant from his family. Doesn’t articulate what Butch has done to him, but makes it a point to focus on the fact that they Do. Not. Talk. To. Butch.

Makes a point to take his kid to school every day. Tells his kid how much he loves them. They do not go a day without a clap on the shoulder and a small little smile that he wears just for them.

Reggie “GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT FUCKIN’ NOW” Huggins

He was a little shocked when he ended up with a baby. Dazed, confused. He just sat there with this bundle, all soft and small, and held them close. He didn’t know what to do, but does anyone when they become a single parent without word?

If his s/o died, he would be heart broken, but pull through for the kid. If his s/o dumped the baby on him and ran, he’d be fucking furious and vow to never let them within arms reach of HIS child.

The best at easing into parenthood. He told his mama that adoption wasn’t an option, and that he was going to take care of the baby. “I can do it,” he told her, “I’m a man, and men take care of their kids.”

Mama Huggins is overjoyed to be a grandma, even if she claims shes a little young to start being called Nannie, but she spoils that baby rotten. Reggie has to fight to keep her from buying the kid so many different outfits, as she goes overboard and buys too many, and they grow out of them before they can even be tried on.

Leaves the kid with his mom to work, which is fine for Mama Huggins, but Reggie feels like he’s ghosting his kid when he does it. So he works harder and advances in his career as much as possible, wanting to get to  place where he can maybe get extra days off to be with his kid.

Wakes up early to make them breakfast. Every morning he sits down with them, from infancy till they leave his house (read as, his moms, he never moves out lets be real). He wakes them up gently, or flicks on the lights and heaves a great big “UP AND AT ‘EM, KIDDO!” But its all with love.

Doesnt seem interested in dating for the most part, but ends up meeting someone with kids at some point in time, and is happy to have his kid get a new sibling. He always wanted one himself.

Gives in too easily if his kids misbehave. If they cry, it HURTS him, and he just lets them do as they please. Had to nip this in the bud before they got into school though, because he wasn’t going to deal with a spoiled brat for 12+ years.

Straps his kid into the backseat of the Trans-Am, and has a Dad Bag under the seats for bottles, toys, and general baby shit. Patrick likes playing peek a boo with his kid, and Vic only complains a little bit of he has  to feed the baby.

Stops going out with the guys, and is worried that it will dampen his relationship with them It doesnt, they just start  coming over to his house and hanging out. Henry was scared to hold the baby at first, but Reggie eased him into it, and now Henry’s the first one to grab the nugget and bounce them on his knee to calm them down.

If he had a daughter, jesus christ. Jesus H Christ. His most precious gem, his princess, the light of his life. He spends free time doing tea parties, letting her “help” him with fixing Amy, and lets her run wild in the neighborhood. She is fierce, she is the wilderness- NO, HONEY, DONT PICK THAT SNAKE UP PLEASE- DROP IT. DROP IT. NO, DONT ARGUE WITH DADDY. DROP IT!

His son would have a very healthy and loving relationship with him. Everything is open for discussion, and he tries to lead his son into a better light than bullying or the like. Lots of sundays are spent in the front yard, tossing around a football while his son asks the craziest, but most wonderful shit he has ever heard. “Dad, whys girls gotta be so.. weird?” “Dad, do you think Luke Skywalker would have been cooler if he was a sith?” “Dad, if we die, do we meet god, or do we gotta wait in line with our guardian angel?” Loves his boy, cherishes him. He can do no wrong.

Goes to every single parent/teacher conference, and puffs up in pride when they praise his kid. Because, of course they’re praising them! He raised them right!

Victor “Pinterest saved my life” Criss

Legit hid the baby from his parents/bros for a good week before he ran out of excuses as to why they hadn’t seen him for days. He’s at a loss of what to do, and considers adoption. He isnt a paternal guy. he thinks, this wont work out.

Already moved out, like, come on. He’s a rich boy, his parents set him up in a nice apartment/condo in Bangor for school.

If his s/o was still alive, he’d have given the baby back to them. This only works if they ghosted town, or are dead. Otherwise, he’d have been like “fuck no”

Finally figures he’ll give fatherhood a shot, and quickly realizes how much he did NOT bargain for.

Reggie turned up to help one day with Vic holding his baby and sobbing back at the baby while it shrieked and squirmed, the poor guy having no idea what to do. Vic was escorted to the bedroom, and given a nap whole Belch attempted to get the baby to sleep.

Buys all the nicest shit the baby could ever need or want. Lots of sleepless nights are spent with him rocking his baby and scanning amazon, thinking that yet another Sophie the Giraffe is exactly what his demon spawn needs to keep from sobbing through the night

Turns to online archives and pinterest for advice, and slowly becomes a better dad. Lots of trial and error, trips to the emergency room from Patrick convincing a half-dead Vic that his baby’s cough is from the baby black plague, and some angry sobbing of his own leads to a decent routine that makes him and his kiddo happy.

Instagrams his kid, because to be fair, he made a gorgeous baby. Sends lots of photos of the kid to the guys, and Patrick uses some of the most unflattering ones as reaction memes, because he is a dick. Vic has laughed at them, despite being furious Patrick would dare to make his baby a meme.

Literally cried when his kid called him “Dada” for the first time. On the floor. Sobbing. He called Reggie and made him come over. Henry and Patrick came around and tried to get the bay to say swears. They got them to say “sheet” which is pretty close to “shit” so they called it a win.

Throws the biggest birthday parties for his kid. Confetti? Everywhere. Cake? Three layers and professionally made. Presents? Out of this world.

Most stylish child of the group’s kids. Sunglasses, designer clothes. That kid dresses better than you do by the time they’re five. They own it too, and flaunt it for the camera, because Vic takes 89,005,467 photos of his child on the daily.

Taught his kid Beastie Boys songs, and there are videos of his kid rapping along to “Intergalactic”. Vic is so proud of his kid.

Friend dad. Has a hard time punishing his kid if they do something wrong, and sometimes makes up for his own mistakes (raising his voice, getting to upset) by giving them gifts. Its not an amazing system, but his kid is humble…ish.

Having a daughter, that boy is her best friend. She can tell him anything, it wont phase him. Willingly talks about boys, clothes, music. Loves to take her to the park and watch her knock the boys down a peg or two. she inherits his sharp tongue, and its scary how fast she goes from 1 to 101. Blunt child, that one.

A boy? Vic’s son is given the coolest shit, there is no need for want with this boy. Probably some awful mix of fuck boy and wanna be rapper, but Vic loves him anyhow. Shows him off to the gang CONSTANTLY, and shows up in almost matching outfits without realizing it. Its cringey, but it could be worse. Teaches him how to throw a punch and encourages him to kick ass if people step up against him.

Puts his kid in after school tutoring, and thinks bonding time is shopping or watching TV together. Fills their schedules with sports, dance, and music. Expects a lot out of them, academically.

Loves his kid, even if they’re being an asshole, not matter what.

Patrick “You’re Demon Spawn and I adore that” Hockstetter

Was not here for this dad shit. Considered chucking the baby into the system, and would have done it too, if his mother had’t made him face the music.

Total “This is what you get for having unprotected sex, Patrick” rant from her. It ended with him being forced with a baby and his mother’s watchful eye on him. Shes not going to have another Avery on her hands.

Hates the baby the first few MONTHS. No love. Nothing there. Lets it cry itself hoarse, barely remembers to feed it, the type to forget an infant in a shopping market. Considers the possibility of it being real, since it came from him in one way or another, and feels a little threatened.

Drops the baby off with his parents 99% of the time. the 1% is when his parents force the baby back with him.

The first time he feels a little something for the kid is after getting them back from his parents and sitting in his apartment, with him screaming at the kid to shut the fuck up, (the baby is sobbing, lets be real) and they just stop. Right then and there, silence. 

They lock eyes, and Patrick swears he sees a flash of something behind their little baby eyes, almost as if they are betrayed he’d treat them that way, before they quietly sniffle. And then Patrick Hockstetter, the man, the myth, the self proclaimed Literal Satan, feels guilt for the first time.

He picks them up and calms himself down, bouncing them on his hip and softly talks to them. No hate, no love really, just apathetic words that a baby couldnt understand. He does that for hours, until the baby is sleeping, and even then he keeps going. Pours out every thought he’s ever had to this little version of him, and the next time he puts them in their crib, he does so gently. 

Lowering them down and tucking a blanket in around them. He decides they’re worth something to him that day, and everyone in his life see a drastic turn in his reactions towards his child.

Kind of a distant dad, but his kid knows that Patrick is their father and that he, yes, loves them. He’ll still drop his kid off with his parents sometimes on weekends, but as the kid grows up and he starts seeing more and more of himself in them, he’d be more attentive.

Goes on philosophical rants with his kid, and expects them to keep up. Raises his kid to question everything, and they grow up almost just as creepy and weird as him. He’s proud that they’re a little freaky, otherwise he’d be worried they weren’t his.

Patrick wouldn’t do too well with a daughter. He’d make it work, but there would be some issues. He has no idea what common ground to go off from, and would force his daughter to be more tom boyish and enjoy the same shit he does. Wouldn’t care if she was a bully in school, actually encourages it. Hands her cash, shares his weed stash with her once she’s older, and bids her good day. Doesnt see reason to punish her for misbehaving hopes she doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere from her smart mouth. Grades are the least of his concerns. Will kill anyone who hurts his daughter though, and makes good on his threats too.

Patrick thrives with a son. A mini-me, that is almost indistinguishable from himself. Same creepy little smile, same predatory tilt of the shoulders and with eyes that pierce your damn soul. Praises his son to the high heavens, calls the boy a genius, and 100% thinks of him to be the Jesus to his God, if you feel me. The promised one, type of shit. Think of a young Trick from Black Mirror, and thats the kind of son Patrick hopes to have, if not MORE edgy.

Halloween is his favorite holiday as a dad, because he takes his kid out and scares the shit out of other children and teaches them to steal the candy.

The family photo of him and his kid is them out with the gang, with his kid (about 7) wearing his jacket by a bonfire and flipping the camera off, him squatting beside them and doing the same damn thing with the biggest shit eating grin. Ah. Parenting. Patrick’s a natural.

[flauntpage]

Big Plays in Big Moments – Observations from Sixers 117, Nuggets 110

On a night when Joel Embiid was dealing with illness, having had recent trouble holding food down, according to Brett Brown, JJ Redick did the heavy lifting for the Sixers.

Redick poured in a season-high 34 points, carrying the new-look Sixers into the fourth quarter, where the entire starting unit made contributions to close out the second best team in the west, a Denver squad playing without the services of Gary Harris and Paul Millsap.

With the Sixers holding a four-point lead at the 1:52 mark, two huge sequences won the game:

A bread-and-butter ’12’ pick and roll that resulted in a dunk and free throw for Ben Simmons

A massive Embiid block on Malik Beasley, with Tobias Harris keeping the loose ball alive. The Sixers came down the floor, Embiid hit another jumper, and the game was essentially over.

Big plays at the biggest moments. That’s how you win against top teams like the Denver Nuggets, especially when you’re trying to incorporate four new players who were just acquired this week and haven’t even had a chance to practice yet.

Play #1, which I mentioned above, is the same exact play they beat San Antonio with, the same blown defensive sequence, only this time Simmons was the guy given the space instead of Redick:

Simmons Stop, Go, Smosh pic.twitter.com/wkVeSkYjYW

— BBALLBREAKDOWN (@bballbreakdown) February 9, 2019

Instead of a blown switch, Denver blew the non-switch and Simmons took it himself.

I asked both Ben and JJ about the play.

Ben:

That’s the first time we’ve run that in a while, so I was kind of excited to get that back. As soon as I saw an opening, I took it to the rim. But there are so many different things we can get into and we’ve got to continue to build with the chemistry we’ve got here, Tobias and I, Boban, everybody we’ve got now, things are gonna keep going and we’re gonna get better.

JJ:

It’s just one of our finishing plays. That’s the same play where I got the four-point play to beat San Antonio. It’s just about putting the defense in a position to make difficult choices. They opted not to switch. I can listen to what my guy is calling. Sometimes he calls ‘switch,’ in which case I’m going to slip. If he’s calling ‘slip,’ then I know I can set a screen and Ben can make the decision. Sometimes that’s kind of hesitation and a late drive, sometimes it’s hesitation where the defense has a screw up and I’m able to slip for a late three.

At that point, Jimmy Butler jumped in and said, “there’s a lot of ambiguity to that play,” to which Redick replied, “I taught Jimmy that word the other day.”

As for the Embiid block and bucket, here you go:

Great defense from all five guys on the floor, and Joel is there to meet Beasley when Redick is beat off the drive. Harris keeps the ball in play, they move it up the floor, and I like the mental acumen there to slow it down and get the ball in Joel’s hands for the dagger. Embiid did all of that while being really damn sick last night. Before the game, he had a band aid over his left arm where the Sixers staff had hooked him up to an IV for fluids.

Gutsy performance from Joel last night at much less than 100%, a solid win, and great atmosphere at the Wells Fargo Center.

More observations:

Tobias Harris

They ran him through a horns set on the first play of a game, but couldn’t get a tough bucket near the rim. Still, it was the same way they incorporated Jimmy Butler, by getting him at least one call on the play sheet for his Sixers debut.

Harris hit his first shot on a transition three coming from a cross-court Simmons pass, then backed down Will Barton on the next possession to get a five-footer to fall. His next play was an assist on a Redick three, forcing a Denver timeout at 14-6.

It’s great to see your 6’9″ power forward identify a mismatch, back his guy down with relative ease, and get a shot to fall:

In the second quarter, he had another nice dribble-drive against a mismatch and then threw a cross-court pass to James Ennis for three ball on the next sequence. His ability to put the ball on the floor is excellent, night and day compared to watching Dario Saric try to do the same thing last year.

Harris finished with 14 and 8 on 6-12 shooting last night while hitting 2-3 from deep. He had some good things to say after the game about the crowd, the feeling of appreciation, and how every guy in the starting unit made plays down the stretch.

Harris on the starting five:

Especially coming out in the fourth quarter, I think that’s the big thing about our game today, you can play all types of ways, but when the fourth quarter comes its like well who’s going to get the looks, who’s going to get the shots for the team? What I really liked about the fourth quarter is just kind of like, ‘OK, it’s your turn, no it’s your turn, no it’s your turn, no it’s your turn,’ and we were all able to make plays and live with those plays, so I thought that was awesome to see in the fourth quarter to have the ball continue to move and hit the right hands and make the right shots, so that was big for us.

A story:

After the game somebody texted me and had a video of me smiling after a play. They said, ‘this is literally the first time I’ve seen you actually smile in a game,’ and I was like, ‘you ain’t lying.’ So it was cool to see that. I really had a lot of fun tonight. Just the team, the potential of us, the reaction from the fans. It feels good to be appreciated. I really felt that tonight and it was big for me.

Welcome aboard.

Boban Marjanovic

First big off the bench last night, and it made sense since Denver has been playing rather large through both Jokic and Plumlee. On other nights, Boban is not going to be the best matchup against smaller units.

He scored his first bucket as a roll man on a Butler PNR:

He’s a pretty good roller, isn’t it?

His first shift was about four minutes, then he back in around the seven minute mark of the second quarter and put together a couple of decent defensive possessions against Nikola Jokic.

But you see he’s pretty slow and fairly limited. He’s not gonna close out anyone on the perimeter, and I think he got whistled for a defensive three second call last night. Brett played him 14 minutes or so, and I think that’s probably on the higher end of what you’re going to get from him this year. If they can keep him in the 10-14 minute range and use him to spell Embiid and keep him fresh heading into the playoffs, that’s probably the best course of action with a massive guy who is a great rim protector but historically has had problems when people are able to move him around a bit.

James Ennis

He came off the bench with Boban in a swap for Joel Embiid and JJ Redick.

I thought he quietly had a really nice game, hitting a pair of open corner three pointers and grabbing three rebounds in 14 minutes of play. Both three pointers were chucked from the weakside corner on plays where Tobias Harris and Jimmy Butler sucked in the defense off the dribble-drive:

You’ll take that all day long from a veteran wing coming off the bench.

Ennis’ pick and roll and perimeter defense was very good on the evening and he got the admiration of the crowd with a nice second quarter hustle play and third quarter steal. He’s been around for a while, and if Ennis does what he did last night, that’s exactly the kind of bench production the Sixers have been lacking for some time now.

Mike Scott

The last of the new guys to come on, he was later put into a lineup looking like this:

T.J. McConnell

J.J. Redick

Furkan Korkmaz

Mike Scott

Joel Embiid

Those Korkmaz minutes will likely go to Jonathon Simmons moving forward. I think Simmons will make his debut on Sunday against Los Angeles.

Quiet night for Scott, who only shot 1-4, but he gives you some grit and some defense off the bench, and if he shoots anywhere remotely close to the 39% he’s averaged from three over the last three years, then it’s an upgrade over Mike Muscala and/or Wilson Chandler coming off the pine.

Other notes:

There was a portion of the third quarter where Brown ran out Butler with four bench guys (Scott, Ennis, McConnell, Boban). Not sure I’d put out any lineup without two starters on the floor, especially on a night like this one where you’re trying to work in a couple of new guys. Kyle Neubeck asked about it after the game and Brett Brown was a little bit flippant in his response, joking about how “you guys love to point that out,” or something along those lines. Funny, sure, but when you’ve got four stars in your rotation, shouldn’t two of them always be on the floor at the same time? I dunno, it’s the first game with a new group, so he’ll figure out the rotation moving forward.

Allen Iverson was REALLY into last nights game. On a late Tobias Harris three-pointer, he got out of his seat, walked 10 feet down the floor and said “mother fucker.”

Some dude in the lower bowl was being an insufferable prick, yelling at the dunk squad and telling them to sit down, yelling at the crew bringing in the Moses Malone halftime ceremony equipment, and yelling grade school level insults at the Denver bench. At some point, the guy sitting next to him (might have been his dad), caught a loose ball and rifled it back at the security guard before mouthing a cuss word at him. Both guys were total clowns.

Embiid shot 4-17 from the floor, but finished with 15 and 12 on the strength of 7-8 free throw shooting.

The Sixers were excellent from the foul line overall, hitting 29 of their 32 looks. That’s good for 90.6% and fifth best free-throw shooting night this season.

Korkmaz and McConnell didn’t miss last night, going 4-4 from the floor in limited minutes. Furkan had a nice put-back dunk to end the first quarter.

Butler took the fewest shots of the starting group, just 9, but went 14-14 from the free-throw line, which is ridiculous. He was again somewhat deferential shooting the ball, but contributed 22 points to finish behind only Redick last night.

I’d like to wish a happy weekend to everybody except that one guy in the comments section.

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