#my grandma was christian

[2econd2ight2ydney]

it’s totally okay to be christian but some of y’all need to shut the fuck up I literally can’t do this anymore

[suiheisen]

j… jesus oppa ;____;

[pinbones]

While it may not be canon, (Lottablog family), I do like the headcannons that how Grumpus surnames work is they take one half from each parent's surname and smash it together.

However the kicker is, how do they decide? You have to imagine there's some favouritism in what a Grump would choose to name their kid. What parent's name, and all that name's weight, do you pass on?

Picture this: two Grumps in the hospital after childbirth meeting their kid(s) for the first time. Then the family kicks in the door.

Wait, you're surnaming the kid WHAT?!

Thus begins: the WAR OF THE GRANDPARENTS

What do you mean you're abandoning the -butt suffix?! The -butts are the town's proudest and longest lineage! How could you abandon us and turn your children into one of THEM?

What, your children aren't gonna be Pibble- prefixes?? Do you have no respect for Gamgam Pibblewibbles??? Oh the name is "silly" is it? Disgraceful. Oh what will the neighbours think

Oh dear..... well at least you didn't take HIS family name--

[danielleargentino]

the willing victim of a cannibal

[moonchild-in-blue]

vessel sleep token the first belly dancer

*runs away*

Come back 🥺 You're cooking 🥺

I wanna give him those cute belly dancer waist scarfs with the clinking coins 🥺✨

[voidwithtoomanygooglyeyes]

Nobody:

That one guy from the awful fever dream that was the movie God's Not Dead:

I hate those films so much, one was already too many but there's four of them? I can't believe I used to actually like the first one, I would rather be strapped to a chair and forced to watch The Last Airbender for 24 hours straight in a pair of jeans that someone is constantly throwing water onto every hour to ensure they never dry than watch any of the God's Not Dead movies.

[saharathorn]

Both my grandmas are very bigoted but in very different ways.

[kinukos]

Taylor swift has been on tv so damn much my grandma knows about her

[gramarobin]

So. Tonight I shall rant a bit about how my past involvement in the fundamental/bible/charismatic/baptist church continues to affect my life many years after leaving church and no longer believing in christianity. I raised my 2 kids in the church. Both attended Bible college. My son aspires to be a preacher, while my daughter has a changed perspective and is also no longer christian.

My son, the father of my 6 grandkids, has cancer. He has consulted with a doctor and been advised he needs surgery and lymph node testing to see if it has spread. He has decided, at this time, to not pursure medical treatment. He has been overwhelmed by people reaching out to encourage him & pray for healing. He believes God is going to "open doors" in his life because of this situation. So tonight, I am seething with anger. I am angry because I have seen people be told they were healed of cancer-in Jesus Name- and then die weeks later. I've smelled what cancer does to a body. I've lived through watching family members have to pick up their broken lives after their loved one dies at a young age, leaving children behind. I am angry at the false hope of miraculous healing that is dangled in front of people who find themselves sick, in pain, physically desperate for help. I am angry that my son is chosing to go on some spiritual quest because he is being cheered on by christians around him instead of simply facing his fear and going to have surgery. I am livid over the thought that anyone would pray and plead to the God who allowed the cancer in the first place. I am enraged to think this God would use cancer to test one's faith, or to bring Himself praise through a testimony of faithfulness. I am sick to my stomach to think my son places his faith over his love for and responsibility to his own children. I am apalled at people who are implying medical help is "of this world", therefore somehow bad/wrong/worldly/sinful. I am reduced to tears over how much my heart hurts that my son, my boy, who I was so thankful to get to be his mother, my boy-is putting his life at risk over proving himself faithful to an invisible God. And all of this anger I'm feeling, I direct it at myself for teaching it all to him, for being so niave and wrapped up in a christian bubble when he was a kid. It's all so infuriating.

[flamingostalker]

literally so many friends of mine are finding community by hiking or climbing WHAT are the big boys suppose to do😭😭😭

[foxgod]

growing up i knew my grandpa was raised catholic but i literally had no idea my mom was too like she even went to catholic school n everything

[girlboss-enthusiast]

When my parents first got together, they visited my dad's parents on Easter Sunday (not on purpose, it just happened to be Easter). My grandmother, whose entire social circle was Jewish, leaned across the table and said to my Catholic-raised mother, "Jenny, I have got to ask, what is with the rabbits and eggs? Rabbits don't even lay eggs. Chickens would make more sense. And what does that have to do with Jesus?"

My mom explained the pagan origins of those classic Easter symbols. My grandmother listened, and when my mom finished, she sat back, threw her hands in the air, and said in a tone of great disgust, "Christians! They steal everything!"

[billiemania]

I was 15ish right around the time it became very in vogue to make fun of reddit style edgy atheists but now that I'm a real mid-20s gal and truly dissecting the specific and measurable harm christianity caused me I am beginning to think those fedora wearing fucks were not so wrong after all

[charismaofobedience]

SIXTY FIVE BUCKS SPENT ON PINK BONDAGE ROPE FUCKING BIDENS AMERICA ISNT WHAT I EXPECTED (he lives in brazil)

[nachosforfree]

I hope my grandma doesnt try to get me to recite any bible verses tomorrow

[suddenlymicah]

damn. I just had a dream it was christmas and my great grandma tried to convert me to christianity and the worst part is it wasnt even that unrealistic. She also told me that i'll "go to hell tonight" so thats cool. Anyways i woke up and now my wrist hurts