#my job is so fuckin boring

[pittoreski]

.

[bibleofficial]

bath is such a tourist trap 😭😭 the roman baths were neat but that’s literally all there is

[thekingdomofdong]

love that i applied for a job back in may, dont interview for it till july, i think it went p well, told i wont hear back till near the end of august just to be told i didnt get it im so sick of job hunting and just want to blow my brain out and be done with it

[toytulini]

i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well

[fuzzyunicorn]

Before I turn on 'em, I kill Satan

And stick my red flag in the ground, it's Red Nation, uh

Now blood the fuck-up

Every day's a gamble motherfucker, tough luck

And we gon' fuck the World 'til that bitch bust nuts

I can't tell you what's good, but I can tell you what's what

And that's B's up, hoes down

Lookin' in the mirror, I'm nowhere to be found

Blood, I'm a dog, call me a blood hound

Throwin' blood in the air, leave blood on the ground

[dipshitcoyote]

Went to see Saw X bc I'm a Saw fan as of a week ago.

Splash is not a Saw fan.

The entire drive to the theater was "I can't believe you're seeing a Saw movie in theaters you're a crazy person I can't believe you're seeing a Saw movie in theaters I will NOT be going with you-"

Except joke's on him we're the same person and I got so excited over hearing the 'Hello Zepp' theme play in the theater that as soon as the mid-credits were over he popped up like HEY WHAT IF MY NAME WAS ACTUALLY ZEPP OR AT LEAST AS A NICKNAME MAYBE which makes a small amount of sense since we have played around with 'z' names in the past but is hysterical considering that he originally named himself in a movie theater in a similar way hdshfjkds

[butchlifeguard]

incredible strength being displayed by an irl friend at still being my friend after rejoining tumblr and seeing my danganronpa url. theyve only watched the anime

[satsuki-yumizuka]

i was gonna post my discord as a joke but i dont have the numbers anymore ... so ppl qould be able to actually find it

[kaxen]

Sometimes I think I don't explain The Artist's insecurities very well in Cyberpink 1824, but on the other hand...

IT'S JUST THE RESULT OF BEING IN A PROFESSION SPENT 75% INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD AND DEPENDING ON THE SUBJECTIVE REACTIONS OF OTHERS TO GET YOUR BREAD.

[prehistorictriforce]

i am going to drop out of college i swear to FUCKIGJGN god… i’ll do it… don’t test me… however the fuck many more years of this shit NO!! i can’t do it bros!!!

[neverendingford]

.

[meow-moment]

i bet if walter white had tumblr hed be like "i am the one who blogs haha"

4 notes

🔮 purple-queen Follow

just got a beautiful ring from the store, can't wait to show it off here!

#my purchases #marie speaks

12 notes

🌶️ capncook

finally scored a new job can i get a hell yeah. back to making stacks dawg

5 notes

🪨 hankschrader4 🔁 flynwyte Follow

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

HELP A DISABLED TEEN'S FATHER AFFORD CANCER TREATMENT!

I didn't want to have to make this post, but deadlines are closing in and I don't have many options left.

My name is Walter White Junior, and my father was recently diagnosed with cancer. He's been battling for a few months now, and he wants us not to worry about him, but he can't keep pulling money out of nowhere. I've done the math, and I've estimated that he needs $12k to afford all the treatment he needs.

Any donations are appreciated! You can donate directly at my website, or donate on p@yp@l, under the username flynwyte.

407/12,000

(do not tag as donation!)

#donation

747 notes

💲 sponsored

Did you recently get in a car accident? You better call him...

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👨🏾‍💼 gustavo-fring

I am pleased to announce that we have finally hired a new social media intern.

22 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

yo yo yo whaddup chicken lovas!!! were bringin back the 2-for-1 honey mustard wings combo, with that signature taste you cant help but love! get it today, bitches!

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

60 notes

🔮 purple-queen Follow

okay, you know what? No. I'm sick of this. Kleptomania is a valid mental disorder, and if i have to explain to you why, then i will.

Read More

#marie speaks #rant

106 notes

🌶️ capncook

bored on the job man its got me thinkin...

#vent post #delete later

2 notes

👊 2co Follow

i can't say shit around my grandpa bro. i make a comment about the lakers one time and its 😤🛎️🛎️🛎️😤🛎️🛎️😤😤🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️ im fuckin SICK OF IT!!

0 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

i miss her so much man...

#vent post #delete later

17 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

We would like to apologize for our social media intern's mistake. As a token of our apology, we are offering a 10% discount on any chicken order if you mention this post. Have a finger-lickin' day!

14 notes

🧪 h31s3nb3rg Follow

I am the one who blogs haha

#heisenposting

1,250 notes

😺 meow-moment

Who said that

[shittygothbitch]

Work is such a fucking drag lately holy shit

[wiredentrails]

i hate summer

[lord-radish]

Between OSRS and Hyrule Warriors, I'm playing a ton of grindy games lately. Thank god I'm not working on the Minecraft flatworld project at the same time, right? Hahahaha, hahaha, haha...

(nah jk the real joke is that I'm not working on the Minecraft flatworld project)

[samaraxmorgan]

Your Roommate Sukuna

“That Time He Sabotaged My Date”

Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader

Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!

Contains: yandere(ish)!Sukuna, fluff but he’s kinda very toxic, stalking, fem implied reader (wearing a dress and heels), brief mention of a bomb (there aren’t any bombs present), narration is from Sukuna’s POV

Word Count: 1.78k

Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist

Whoever decided this dingy shithole is a decent place to take you on a date should be fucking shot.

Maybe it was wrong of Sukuna to eavesdrop on your private conversation this morning, but in his defense you were talking on the phone loud as hell in the middle of the living room. Should’ve been quieter when you were telling your friend about the date you had planned for tonight.

And maybe it’s weird that Sukuna secretly followed you here to keep an eye on you, but it’s not like he has nefarious intentions. He’s heard of this place and one, it’s fucking gross, and two, it’s got one hell of a reputation to say the least. Definitely the kind of place for someone to get murdered, he’s just watching out for your safety!

Oh christs sake, who is he fooling? No, he followed you here because he’ll be damned if you get a boyfriend.

He feels like a creep, sitting at the bar behind your table in a black hoodie and an old baseball cap, eyes fixed on the back of your head. The guy sitting across from you is so bland, yet for some reason you’re still giggling and twirling your hair around your finger as if you don’t know that you can do so much better.

There was no need for you to doll yourself up for this fuckin’ loser; you’ve got on a pretty red dress and stiletto heels, probably anticipating him to take you somewhere nice, decent, at least. But he brought you to some run down shithole restaurant that hasn’t been renovated since the 70’s and is definitely bearing several health code violations. It’s honestly embarrassing, Sukuna would take you somewhere so much nicer than this, he knows what you deserve.

He’s been sitting at the bar sipping on his drink for the last half hour, watching the way you prop your elbow onto the table, cross your legs in your seat, tap your heel against the leg of your chair, listening to you laugh and chat about your job. Meanwhile, mister nobody in front of you is chewing with his mouth open like some kind of ape, not realizing how much of a privilege he has by being able to treat you to dinner. Un-fucking-believable.

Finally the moment he’s been waiting for happens. Bland And Boring stands up from his seat and leaves you at the table to go use the restroom, so now it’s time for Sukuna to get this fool away from you. His eyes follow the man as he walks past the bar, not even trying to be discreet. He gives Sukuna a quick glance and nods his head politely, making his way towards the bathrooms near the front of the restaurant.

There’s no time to waste.

Sukuna stands from his seat at the bar, trailing behind your date and following him into the bathroom. As the door clicks shut behind him he realizes that it’s just the two of them. Perfect, no interruptions.

He walks up behind the man, watching him through the large mirror above the sinks. Now that he’s up close he can really see how pathetic this guy is, nervously looking up towards Sukuna as he absolutely towers above him, his stature menacing and the look in his eyes bordering on deadly.

“D-do you need some-”

“You should leave.” Your date jumps at the sound of Sukuna’s voice; dark, deep, and serious.

“Um… why?” His eyes flicker around the room, definitely praying to whatever god he believes in to come save him.

Sukuna is surprised he isn’t immediately obeying. Has he grown soft? Surely not, this guy just needs a little extra push.

So Sukuna says the first thing that comes into mind.

“I have a bomb.”

Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but god damn does it do the trick. The guy looks like he’s about to fucking piss himself, eyes widening in terror as he quickly nods his head and runs out of the restaurant.

Sukuna keeps a keen eye on him through the windows, watching him nearly leap into his car and hearing the tires screech as he speeds out of the parking lot. It seems you also had an eye on your date, your jaw nearly dropping to the floor as you assumed that he just ditched you with the bill.

Now’s his time to shine.

He stuffs his hat into the front pocket of his hoodie and strides up behind you to your table, bending down to be eye level with you in the booth and putting on his best mildly surprised and kind of amused expression, “Well look at that.”

“Ugh, god.” You bury your face into your hands, “And here I thought my day couldn’t get any worse.”

He can’t help the smirk that grows on his face. It is his fault you’re in this situation, but I mean come on, that guy was no good for you anyway. “You sample the whole fuckin’ menu or something?”

You groan and roll your eyes, perfect, you took the bait, “I just got dine and dashed, asshole.”

Sukuna lets out a laugh as he flops down into the seat across from you, god if only you knew. A man would have to be a real idiot to stand you up, but he has to try and keep his act together, “Yeah? Guys are fuckin’ assholes, surprise.”

The pout on your face is too sweet, makes it hard for him to really feel bad, “I was really liking him too.”

Oh, he definitely doesn’t feel bad now. He pulls his card out of his wallet as the waitress approaches the table, handing it off to her nonchalantly as he continues the conversation, “Don’t know why you bother going on dates with these guys.”

You try to interject the waitress but she walks away before you can stop her, a defeated frown pulling down your lips, “What are you doing here anyway?”

He plops his elbow onto the table, shrugging his shoulders casually, “What? Am I not allowed to go to my favorite shitty restaurant?”

You perk up slightly, “Right? I saw a roach on the way in, I can’t believe he recommended this place.”

The waitress comes back and hands Sukuna his card, he quickly scribbles his signature on the receipt and stands from his seat at the booth, “Let’s get you out of here before you get ringworm or some shit, nasty fuckin’ place.”

Finally a smile creeps onto your face, lighting up the dreary atmosphere. You adjust your dress as you stand up and he can’t help but smirk at how good you look all dolled up, dark red dress hugging your figure as if you wore it for him. He leads you out of the restaurant, making sure to hold the door open for you since he noticed that your loser date let it slam in your face on your way in.

Droplets of rain were starting to sprinkle down, which is pretty unlucky considering it’s a ten minute walk back to the apartment. But that’s not a problem for Sukuna, if anything it’s a perfect opportunity. He catches the frown curling down your pouty lips as you fix your fingers through your nicely styled hair, probably trying to keep it from getting messed up, and without missing a beat he pulls his hoodie off, sliding it over your head and down your arms.

“I’m sure you spent hours dolling yourself up, would hate to ruin it.” His voice is smooth as butter, leaning down to eye level with you as he adjusts the hood to make sure your hair is covered.

A blush creeps onto your face, mumbling a quiet “Thank you” as you pull your arms through the sleeves. It honestly looks like you’re drowning in his massive hoodie, the sleeves too long for your arms that your fingers can’t even peek out and the hem at the bottom falling at your upper thighs.

Sukuna thought you looked good in that red dress, but god damn you look heavenly wearing his clothes. Why didn’t he do this sooner?

You both start to walk down the sidewalk to the apartment, the evening is quiet save for the muffled sounds of music and chatter coming from the bars and restaurants that you pass by. You’re walking right up against his side, your arm occasionally brushing against his and he can’t help but wonder if you’re getting closer on purpose.

Sukuna breaks the peaceful silence, “So was the food good at least?”

You look up towards him quizzically, squinting your eyes in a way that’s too fucking cute for him to handle, “Shouldn’t you be the expert?”

“Why t’fuck would I know? Never been there.”

“I thought that was your favorite shitty restaurant?”

Oops.

He got way too distracted looking into your pretty eyes. Lucky for him, he didn’t need to come up with an excuse to cover him because a loud snap rings through the air as you stumble forward. His arm quickly wraps around your waist to steady you before you can fall, holding you flush against him.

You look down at your feet and let out a loud groan of frustration, “Fucks sake, really?” You lift your foot up to inspect your shoe, your stiletto heel barely dangling by a thread as it snapped off from the sole.

Sukuna didn’t mean to laugh, but there was no containing it. You look up at him with an adorable angry face, cheeks burning red as you curse him out and it only makes him smile more. You’re just too damn cute when you’re pissed off.

“It’s not funny! These were expensive!”

“Yeah yeah, c’mere.” His arm stays wrapped around your waist as he leans down and hooks his other arm behind your knees, lifting you off the ground with ease as you squeal in surprise and wrap your arms around his neck to cling onto him.

Now he could bet that other guy wouldn’t do this for you, not just was he scrawny as all hell but he wouldn’t be nearly enough of a gentleman. Your arms tighten around the back of Sukuna’s neck as he starts walking to the apartment again, your cheek nuzzled against his shoulder as you slowly relax into his hold. He’s actually liking this a lot, silently considering purposely taking a wrong turn on the way home so he can hold you longer.

Hopefully after this you’ll stop going on stupid dates with worthless men, you’ve already got everything you could ever want right at home after all. Soon enough you’ll realize that you don’t need anyone but him.

A/N: This was SO FUN to write!! I love him he’s such an asshole askakksksk, I rlly liked the idea of doing a light hearted yandere part (even tho NOBODY asked for this skaksksk) Dividers by @adornedwithlight

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