#my legal given name is Olivia which of course makes me think of Olivia by One Direction

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 4th, Wednesday 18:42

„Looks like we’ve got all of the important issues covered for today. This would be the very last paper for you to sign. Right...eh down here.“ 

Jens got handed another document, that looked like the dozens that came before it. The pen still in hand, he nodded and put his signature on the line at the very bottom.

„I know this is a lot, but trust me, Jens, you definitely want it all to be handled before it will become necessary and be hurried over last minute.“ 

He put the pen down, taking his copy to keep upstairs in his room, as the lawyer proceeded to begin to fill his briefcase with a thick binder. A white sticker on it reading:

2020 Stoffels, Helena & Jens

„Thank you so much, Alex, honestly, for everything.“ His mother said, sitting under a blanket on the sofa, while Jens and their lawyer Alexander De Waele sat on the floor across the low couch table.

Jens felt drained, his brain was done for, he was sure of it. One more page to read and he’d be ready to kill himself, right there and then. They had signed documents over documents at the bank and now with Alex even tenfold. Luckily he was an old schoolmate of his mom’s, so he really took his time and had the patience of an angel to go through every little detail for the still seventeen year old teen.

„Definitely, thank you!“ Jens agreed, stretching his arms up into the air, shaking of the light cramp in his right hand.

„Nonesense. I’m glad I could do something for you.“ He said smiling at them before he finished the last bit of coffee in his cup. He had his dress shirt cuffed at both wrists and the first two bottoms had been opened for comfort. They had spend the last 4 hours on this whole ordeal. Alex looked up from his cup, over towards Jens, he seemed to regard him in contemplation for a moment.

„So it is settled then. From friday on, whenever the time will come, this is gonna be yours. The house, the car and everything in it. As well as all rsponsibilities that are coming with, like bills and repairs. Are you sure you want this, Jens? First thing tomorrow morning on my agenda will be sending off these documents, so now would be the time to rip it all up or throw it into a fire if you would want to.“ Alex suggested in seriousness, as Jens looked back at him, in fact giving it consideration. What a momentary relief it would be, until of course he would see his mom, so he did and looked at her tired face, the dark circles under her eyes, the woman thin as a stick. Barely able to follow the ongoing conversation in front of her. So Jens wouldn’t do it. He shook his head determined.

„No, I’ve had four month to think it over. I have my grandmothers support, It’s decided. We have the personal directive handled, the will, all bank accounts have been transfered under my name by the bank today. I’ve called the incurance companies regarding the car, the houshold and liability. I’m probably missing some things I signed today, but this is about it, right.“

„Very much so, yes. You should definitely talk to your school again as well, letting them know about it, in case of an emergency. Obviously no one wishes for that to happen. But should you be hindered to attend classes, especially it being your graduation this summer, you need any help you can get for your future.“

„I know“ Jens replied as he watched his mother falling asleep, having lied down on the sofa, now that everything was sorted. It had been a long day for her, especially being out for hours. She wore the lovely rosegolden headscarf, he found absolutely pretty on her, and she adroed so much. Jens remembered how long his mom had stood infront of her mirror this morning, asking if she looked well enough to face the world. He had assured her she did, despite her complexion saying otherwise. She looked so vulnerable right now, it physically hurt Jens to watch her from across.

„Do you need help to get her to bed?“ Alex asked just as emotionally exhausted as Jens felt it appeared. This wasn’t really easy for anyone involved.

„No, I got it. Happens every other day.“ It didn’t sound as unconcerning as Jens had hoped it would, once spoken out loud. It was true nonetheless. It felt like yesterday was ages ago, worrying over a kiss and a crush on a boy, skating with his friends. Filming a youtube video for god’s sake. 

They probably all wondered where he was, as he had only replied in the group around noon, to tell them that he wasn’t feeling like attending classes today. Moyo and Luca joining him apparently, as they seconded it. Much to Yasmina’s frustration, as she tried to get them to actually care for their education. 

Jens had stopped reading at that point. Since then his phone was turned off and left in his jacket.

„There is one more issue, that we definitely need to handle soon.“ The insecurity in Alex’s voice made Jens uneasy. He was convinced to have settled everything and being able to concentrate on his daily life, that it threw him off for a minute. He clearly was loosing the control of his breathing again. Jens felt it.

„Hey, Jens?“ Alex put his hand on the teens shoulder, his thumb strocking over the fabric of his shoulder, it calmed him down at least enough to listen further: „Don’t panic, we are not doing that today. We’ll get another date ready, alright? Nonetheless we have to make a desicion there as well, one that might be the hardest for you to do.“ Jens looked up at the laywer next to him, nodding. „What do you want to do regarding Lotte?“ 

Jens evidently wasn’t prepared for that question, as it took him a solid minute to process what Alex implied. It didn’t even cross his mind that Lotte may be taken away from him.

„Okay, so here is the thing. The court will quite likely consider your father first, then your grandparents and then your bigger sister Lies. And given your family situation, none of these options are ideal. As if all of them involve Lotte being taken out of her house and school and even the only place she ever lived in. If your family members can’t take Lotte in, as I’d assume. Or she simply doesn’t want to leave, the court will have to involve child protection services. No one wants that, Jens.“ 

The blood was loudly rushing through his body, he could hear it clearly over the words that left Alex’s mouth. Jens was positive that this would devestate him. He loved his sister so much, he couldn’t give her up.

„This is the most likely path we are on right now. Unless! And that’s what I was going to ask you about. Unless you are, as you’ll be turning eighteen this friday, are filing for guardianship over your sister. And I want you to be very clear about what that entails. If we do this, I’d recommend getting a letter of your father and grandparents rejecting their position of choice as the legal guardian to Lotte. I’d also advise you to have witnesses able to argue your case on why Lotte is best kept under your care. And last, a strategy on a stable income. Luck is really on your side, as you’ll actually own a house in your name and the car’s lease is payed off by april next year, so you have no outstanding loans. Which is perfect. But still that is no constant income. So if your plan was to take a gap year or go to university while working two days a week to get by, that’s not gonna do it. If you can’t find a well paying half time job, to allow for attending university half time, you better take it out of your agenda for your future.“

Listening to Alex felt overwhelming. Sure he had taken care of her for the last couple of month. Bought her to school, picked her up, cooked for her, washed her clothes and on the list went. 

What Jens would need to agree to though, was doing exactly that for the next ten years of his life. And he needed to do it at eighteen. The realisation hit him, that he would then spent all of of his twenties taking care of his sister. 

Instead of university parties, trying out directions in life, and falling from one messy relationship into the next, he’d try to handle a teenager, while working a job. Damn.

„This is a lot to ask of you. That’s why I wanted to bring it up today, so you’ll have some time to think it through, say by mid december? This is a big sacrifice on your end and I think you should also talk to Lotte about it. Openly and honest, see what she thinks, what she would like for herself. She is a child, but like in any cutody case, the child’s opinion is just as important to take into consideration.“ Alex got up on his feet, his things collected and blazer and coat back on, as he spoke, with Jens following him towards the door. It was almost eight, so Olivia’s dad should be here any moment to bring Lotte home.

„You have my number, please call me once you are ready to talk it over in a meeting, yes?“

„Yes. Thank you again. Really. And I’ll talk to you soon, I suppose.“ Jens said attempting to smile at the kind man, who hugged him with a sad expression drawn across his face. He left the house, briefcase in hand and down the street towards his parked black car.

As the door fell close behind him, Jens stood in the hallway, thinking the whole day over and over again. Until he sort of didn’t think at all any longer. Blankly staring into nothingness.

The all encompassing numbness felt welcoming.

And then the door bell rang. Lotte was home.

[tintinxtintin]

professor barba

cute little fluff imagine for our favorite ada ❤️

warnings: none really, possible trigger of an attempted harassment incident, but mostly fluff

words: 2.1k

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rafael never thought this would happen. he's a respected and very reputable lawyer turned professor. he doesn't meddle in the lives of his students. he doesn't listen to what they say when they discuss the latest relationship drama. he doesn't get involved in their personal lives. until you, that is.

you changed everything. after you, rafael began to listen in on whispered conversations between you and your friends. he learned that you recently went through a break up, and that while you were sad about it, you had your eye on someone else. after you, rafael got involved in the personal lives of his students. he chatted with them more, in the hopes of hearing something about you.

since you, no one else had been on his mind. seeing you in that intro to legal analysis class every monday and wednesday is the highlight of his week. what rafael didn't know though, is that you felt the same way about him.

you were never the one to be into older guys. they didn't really attract you. in fact, normally you weren't ever into guys at all. or anyone for that matter. you'd just gotten out of a six month long relationship, and if you were being honest, you weren't that invested in it to begin with.

but ever since the start of the semester, something about your legal analysis professor had you thinking about him in ways you know you shouldn't. you were drawn to the gruffness of his voice when he spoke, like he couldn't be bothered to speak up. you loved the way he sometimes loosened his tie if he got too hot while going on a tangent about the IRAC method. it especially made you smile, though, when the class would be writing something down, all quiet, and you'd peek up, and swear you'd see him already staring at you.

you never thought that these little things would grow into a crush. but they did, and surprisingly, you were okay with that. so what if you had an innocent little crush on your professor? you wouldn't be the first person ever to experience that. he would probably never even notice you in a lecture hall of a hundred students. so, you decided that your silly little affection for the cuban man could live on, so long as it didn't effect your grade in his class.

~~~

there was a day when rafael actually thought he would lose it. he'd gotten a call earlier in the morning from olivia, his friend and former coworker, about a case that she wanted his professional opinion on. it was a tough one, and the thought of the scumbag suspect involved really put him in a pissy mood for the rest of the day.

then, upon arriving to his office to settle in before his first class, he noticed you. his attitude seemed to melt away just looking at you. you looked beautiful in a casual outfit: black leggings paired with an NYU sweatshirt. you'd tossed a jean jacket over the sweatshirt; it made you look more put together.

you were sitting outside his office, waiting for him to get there. you wanted some extra study material for the next exam. he noticed your smile when you saw him walking towards you, and he took note of the way your eyes looked him up and down once he was close enough.

"hi professor," you squeaked out. you were shy, but your voice came out soft.

"i was wondering if you had any extra material on the IRAC method? i want to be as prepared as possible for the exam next week." you didn't fully look into his eyes when you spoke, instead you'd look above him or behind him. eye contact was not your strong suit; you disliked the intimacy it held.

rafael could see that you were shy, and he loved it. it added to the reasons he found you adorable.

"well, y/n, i'm not 100% sure what i've got in my office, but you're welcome to come in and sit down while i look." he appreciated that you came to him on your own for extra material. most professors just gave you what they gave you and that was it. rafael didn't roll like that. he cared about all of his students, even if he didn't make the effort to get to know them all. as outlined in his course syllabus, extra material on any given subject was available, but must be asked for by the students. he wouldn't just hand it out.

in doing this, rafael could see which students would take the initiative to seek extra help when needed. not a lot of students had done so this semester, so he was incredibly pleased to see you at his office.

you agreed to come in and wait, and he lead you into his little office. it wasn't much. just a sizeable desk and some chairs to match. the walls were built in shelves, which had stacks and rows of books upon books. being quite a bookworm yourself, you respected the collection, though you suspected they were mostly compromised of law books and such.

"just have a seat, y/n. let me set my things down and then i'll look for anything i have on the IRAC method," he said.

you did as told and sat down, watching him as he went over to his chair opposite yours, pulled out his laptop and booted it up, before turning around to look into his collection of books. he swiveled in the chair and turned to his left. getting on his feet, he reached up to pull a thick textbook down. you marveled at the size. you'd just wanted a few papers of notes not a whole bible. surely he didn't expect you to actually take and read the entire thing.

"this book's a few years old, but it's got some really good information in it and some of the chapters go into more detail than i was able to do in class. i will flag the important chapters for you and then you can go and photocopy them so that you can keep them. is that okay?"

"yes. thank you, professor," you smiled. god, your smile. did you not see what you were doing to him? was it not obvious that he was into you?

"alright, i'll flag them right now and then i'll give you the book in class." you nodded and thanked him again before heading out.

you weren't far away at all from rafael's office when you heard someone calling your name. you glanced up and saw todd, a friend of yours. he came up to you and gave you a quick hug before engaging in conversation with you. rafael watched at first, mostly to determine what the relationship between you two might be. he quickly assumed that you were just friends, as you didn't make it seem like there was anything else going on. in fact, rafael had pretty much started to tune you out until he heard something that intrigued him.

"hey, so mandy said that you and jack broke up last week, and i was wondering if you and i could finally go out." todd asked, looking increasingly hopeful.

you liked todd, but not enough to go out with him. you didn't see anything more than friendship happening with him. especially not when your crush on rafael was so fresh.

"oh, um. well, todd, i'm not really looking for anything right now. the break up is still recent so i'm just focusing on other things right now."

okay, so maybe you lied to him a little. but you didn't want hurt his feelings. he'd been a friend to you so you didn't want to just outright reject him. looking back, maybe you should've.

"oh come on. i know you and i have something here. jack wasn't right for you. but i know i am. let me show you."

something in todd's tone shifted, and you weren't the only one who noticed. he made a move towards you, causing you to instinctively take a step back. your heart rate picked up a bit and your skin started to feel hot. you had a bad feeling about what was about to happen, but you couldn't do anything about it. it was like being outside of your body.

todd was just about to reach for your waist when rafael came out of his office.

"hey, y/n? i was just about to head down to the printing room to photocopy these. why don't you come with me so i don't have to flag you down later."

rafael was heated, and it was evident in his voice. he had his fists clenched, but neither you or todd noticed. todd immediately backed away from you, stammering an awkward goodbye before turning and going back the way he came. you let out a breath of relief.

you glanced at rafael, who's hardened exterior had softened upon seeing your scared expression.

"thank you, professor. you didn't have to do that."

"on the contrary, y/n. i did. couldn't call myself a good man if i didn't. why don't you actually walk with me? i'd feel better about leaving you if i knew you got where you needed to go safely."

you nodded and lead him down the hallway and out of the building. you chatted along the way to your class. you learned that he could actually be quite sassy, and you found it funny. the two of you walked in sync. you were desperate to reach out and grab his hand, but you knew that would be inappropriate. if only you realized he was thinking the same.

when you finally approached the building your class was in, you turned to rafael and thanked him again for walking you to class.

"of course. i'm glad i was able to make sure you were safe."

'you make me feel safe.' you thought.

rafael felt his cheeks heat up. actually, his whole body temperature rose at the compliment from you. he wasn't sure he even heard you right.

"i'm glad i do."

you hadn't realized it, but you'd said that out loud. you felt yourself begin to blush. how embarrassing. now he would think you were a silly girl with a silly crush.

"sorry, that wasn't meant for you to hear." you quickly put your head down, not wanting to see the look of disapproval on his face.

but, unbeknownst to you, his face contorted into a smile. he liked knowing that you felt safe with him. he wanted to do everything he could to make sure you were never hurt. his heart leaped at the realization that maybe, just maybe, you might like him a little more than a student should like their professor.

but how to find out? surely he couldn't just come right out with it and ask you? what if you said no? and then went and told all your friends? what if it somehow got back to the dean? or the president of the college? no. it was better to just let it go. play it safe.

"no, that's quite okay. you'll always be safe with me, y/n."

fuck. had he really just said that? now you were going to think he was a bona fide creep. he blew it.

hearing him say this gave you a burst of confidence. he clearly cared enough about you to not only save you from a potentially dangerous incident, but to also make sure you get to your next destination safely. not many other people would've done that. knowing this made you feel better about your crush on him. so, with everybit of self-assurance you had, you went for it.

"um, professor?" you asked, looking up into his eyes.

"yes?"

"would it- would you like to get a coffee sometime?"

rafael almost wasn't sure he heard you right. had you asked to coffee? you? asked him? no. he clearly was dreaming. this couldn't be real.

his lack of an answer began to scare you, and all that confidence was gone now. you felt small, the rejection beginning to loom over you lile a dark cloud.

"i'm sorry, that was wrong of me. you don't have to-"

"no, no. i would love to get a coffee with you. i was just taken aback by you asking."

you smiled at the cuban, him doing the same. you couldn't believe he'd said yes.

"okay good. i have to get to class now but how about i stay after your class so we can figure out a time?"

"that sounds good. i'll see you later."

with that, he gave you another smile and headed off back the way you guys had walked. he couldn't contain his joy as he walked the path back to the building.

you walked into your class with a stupid grin plastered on your face, eager to see him again later.

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[cycat4077]

Changes: A Sonny x Reader fic

(You know I’m in too deep with a fandom when I start writing fics...)

Sonny Carisi is ruining my expectations of men and, much to my dismay, slowly converting me into a “legs” woman. So it’s no wonder I want to write cute fluffy stories about him. Except this one doesn’t start out so fluffy. Like no fluff at all. Actually a lot of mutual loathing. But hey, what’s the opposite of hate? Yep! Love. We’ll get there folks ;)

Title: Changes Ship: Sonny x Reader (OC female character) Chapters: 1/? (should be more to come) Links: AO3, FF.net (or see below the cut), Chapter List

Notes:  I love Carisi so much and Peter does such a fantastic job portraying him (and he's absolutely gorgeous to boot). It's hard to see Sonny as anything but a total sweetheart...But I wanted to try something a bit different. What if he and a love interest got off on the wrong foot and she was really annoyed by everything he did? How does that dynamic change when they finally start getting to know each other? Hope you enjoy! It was a quick idea that popped into my head. I do plan on continuing it for a bit, so any feedback would be loved!

Chapter 1: Summer Hire

This is the point in your life where you’d probably hear a record scratch and a voice-over version of yourself would say: “I bet you’re wondering how I ended up here?”

Well, you suppose it’s not the worst thing in the world but it’s not the exact vision you had had for yourself when you moved to New York.

You’re a university graduate. You did a Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in biology upstate and, after finding your calling as a teacher, you completed a Master's in education to top it all off. The affiliations and contacts you made there led you to NYC when a part-time lecturer position opened up in Manhattan. It is in your discipline and you only have to teach one course per semester. It’s your foot in the door, doing something you truly love. But, the part-time position also comes with some drawbacks. The classes you teach aren’t offered in the summer, and with a wage that pays you by the lecture, summer break essentially means your income comes to a halt. New York isn’t exactly a city to offer affordable living either. This means money is tight, leaving you with no other choice but to seek out some temp work.

And low and behold, a position at the NYPD’s special victim’s unit became your new meal ticket. Being a teacher already means that you have the necessary police background checks completed and you have previously dealt with an issue on campus that vouches for your credibility when it comes to confidentiality. You are hired no problem, but the downside is that the job is for a bookkeeper. And bookkeeping is the fancy term the NYPD used for “clean up the paperwork messes we’ve let accumulate”. But a job’s a job and it will cover your summer bills.

So here you are: It’s your first day as SVU’s “bookkeeper” and you were told to find Sgt. Olivia Benson when you arrive. You walk into the squad room and your ears are immediately overwhelmed by ringing phones and the sounds of chatter. There are detectives whizzing by, going about whatever it is they do. You hug your notebook to your chest as you try to seek out the sergeant among the chaos. You see a brunette head into an office and figure that she’s your best bet.

“Hello,” you speak meekly, as you stand at the door.

The woman spins around and greets you with a quizzical smile.

“I’m here for the summer bookkeeper position,” you continue.

“Oh, yes! Welcome to SVU. Let me introduce you to the squad.” Sgt. Benson leads you to the center of the squad room and hollers to get everyone’s attention. “Listen up, everyone! This is our newest member of the team. She’s here to take care of all the filing messes you’ve left around here.”

You hear a chorus of lighthearted groans and chuckles from the rest of the team as Benson gives you a pat on the back.

Just then a tall, lanky man comes lumbering in towards the two of you. “Really, Sarge? A temp?” he scoffs.

“Carisi,” starts Benson, sounding very much like a mom scolding her son, “you know just as much as everyone else here that we have a backlog of case reports that need serious filing”.

He shrugs his shoulders, raising his hands as if to say whatever, you’re in charge! before walking away and plunking himself down at a desk.

Benson shows you to your new work station and the mounds of filing that are in disarray. “Don’t worry,” she reassures you with a warm smile, “it just takes these folks time to warm up to new faces.” 

But it’s too late you think as she walks past that Carisi guy. His arrogance has immediately put you off. Him and his smug attitude. You get the same kind of defiance from your teenage students, for crying out loud!

The days go by, albeit slowly, as you trudge through paperwork. You’ve familiarized yourself with their previous filing system and are trying to sort and stack to match it. It’s tedious work but overall, not the worst possible job. The one thing that does annoy you though is Carisi. You watch him around the office from time to time. He’s got a loud, boisterous voice that always lets everyone know when he’s around. He’s got that brow of his which always seems to be knitted in disgust. Even the way he saunters around like he’s some tough guy makes you feel sick. And he always stands there with his hand on his hip like he’s someone important. Not to mention how brash he is with everyone he talks to and how he’s always trying to show off his legal knowledge to anyone who’ll listen…and even to those who won’t.

On top of his general demeanor, he has not exactly been friendly with you either. He clearly hasn’t given you the benefit of the doubt and he definitely doesn’t consider you a squad member. In all fairness, you’re not really a part of their detective team, but you still see these people everyday. Most of them make an effort to be nice to you. You can even sometimes overhear him let out these little quips about the paperwork or he’ll refer to you like you’re not even there. Carisi never ceases to make your eyes roll or your blood boil.

About a month into the job, you decide you need to work late. There’s at least a year’s worth of backlog and you really want to get the ball rolling with the organization. On top of that though, during the day you came across a really big mess. Folders that have cases mixed up and they desperately need proper sorting. So, overtime it is!

Everyone had already left and it’s just you in your messy bun, shuffling through countless papers and files. Well, you thought you were the only one left…

But of course, in comes Carisi with that stomach-churning saunter and that grumpy face of his. You let out an annoyed sigh. How was he going to try to insult you this time?

“You’re still here, newbie?” he chirps when he sees you.

“Backlog of paperwork, remember?” you quip back with just the perfect amount of sass.

“Ah, yes, how could I forget? Very important job and all…” His words absolutely drip with sarcasm but you are adamant that you won’t let him get to you. So, you just roll your eyes and turn back to your work.

When he notices your lack of rebuttal, he adds, “Clockin’ some oh-tee, myself. Mighta missed a lead in somma these files from our latest case.” He rolls up his sleeves as he speaks, exposing his forearms.

You, too, notice how warm the squad room is. Damn summer heat.

“That’s nice.” You fake a smile, watching him from the corner of your eye.

He plops down at his station a row across from your work-space, stretching himself out as his long, lanky legs crowd out his desk space. Carisi glances down as if he’s about to delve into his work, but then looks back up and over to you. You feel his blue eyes boring into you from a distance. “Why the hell you take this stupid job anyway? I assume the pay is total crap.”

Your head snaps up to glare at him. What a bold statement. He knows nothing about you yet he has the audacity to assume that this job is worthless? He probably thinks you’re just some desperate girl who needs to take whatever job she can get. Nothing to her name; nothing of worth.

“For your information,” you punctuate the words, “the college courses I teach aren’t offered in the summer.” You wanted your words to be a knife and to twist them so as to wipe the smug look off his face.

“Yourra teacher?” he says, taken aback.

You’ve got him! Not so smug now! “Yes, biological sciences at one of the colleges here in Manhattan.”

Carisi looks genuinely shocked. His eyebrows are raised and he’s just staring at you. You’ve finally rendered the mouthy detective speechless. You would do a victory dance, but you wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you enjoyed it that much.

“Wow,” he states with a small smile, “that’s really awesome.”

A compliment. Wow indeed. But then you notice something. His normally knitted, grumpy eyebrows that you detest so much are actually softened and expressive. In fact, his whole demeanor has suddenly changed. He looks…kind.

“What?” You finally break the silence, still trying to put up the hardened front.

“Nothin’. Just neva knew that ‘bout you. Why haven’t you said anything?” he questions.

“You never asked,” you reply simply. And, before you can stop yourself, you add: “Besides, I’m just a temp.” You immediately regret saying it. It was a dirty dig, especially when Carisi was actually trying to be nice.

“Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck, “Sorry ‘bout that...”

His apology hangs heavily in the air for a few long moments before you decide to quietly utter: “It’s alright.”

You both silently return to your work for another few hours. Eventually, however, you can’t see straight. Your eyes hurt and your headache is growing worse. Your glasses had slipped so far down your nose that someone may mistake you for a little old granny. Your hair is sticking out in all directions, seemingly trying to escape its bun-prison. It’s most definitely time for you to head home.

You look up to see Carisi totally overcome with fatigue as well. He has bags under his eyes from a hard day. You know his job isn’t easy and you can admit that he actually does take it very seriously.

You stand up and close the open file in front of you. Your movements release Carisi from his work-induced trance. “Headin’ out?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you reply. “Can’t take anymore of this tonight.”

“I should call it a night too,” he says, standing up and straightening his tie. “Uh, lemme walk you home. It’s real late and there’s creeps hangin’ ‘round at this hour.”

You catch his eye. He looks genuinely apologetic. 'You' from a couple of weeks ago would have said no way in hell. Heck, 'You' from a couple of hours ago would have shut him down instantly. But something makes you say yes. For some reason your gut is telling you to give him a chance – that maybe you had judged him a little too quickly as well. “Sure,” you nod. “Thanks, detective.”

He flashes you a half smile. “Please, call me Sonny.”

Notes: Unfortunately, society does a lot of labeling and judging based on very little information. Doesn't matter what job you have or what you look like. If you take the chance to get to know someone, you may be pleasantly surprised :) 

Chapter 2 here

[sincereiyleah]

Is This Seat Taken?

A/N: Because the scenario kept bugging me, thanks to @/millennial-mess (sorry! I don’t know if they want to be tagged or not!) I decided to write a little ficlet about Carisi not being able to sit in Barba’s seat at the bar. I decided against posting it up on my ao3 account because it’s really short, but I’m trying to promise myself to post something up there regarding barisi before Friday comes. Anyways, enjoy! 

Warnings: Rated Teen audience and up, nothing too disheartening. 

When Carisi hears a sudden and confident click of high heels walking towards him, his pen momentarily stops, however, he’s able to complete his thought by the time the footsteps stop and the body is right next to him. A familiar smell of perfume bombards his nose and Carisi smiles, without taking his eyes off his legal pad he asks, “Would it be redundant to ask how you found me, Captain?”

The new title falling off his tongue as easily as his own, Carisi was surprised how natural the switch from Lieutenant to Captain was for him, just how he was surprised about his own switch from Detective to A.D.A.

There’s a bemused chuckle, the Captain sits next to him and Carisi finally places his pen down and shifts towards the one and only, Olivia Benson.

“Spare me,” she says, her eyes filled with playfulness and Carisi is instantly enthralled with her light humor. However, the moment is gone and the ever-observant detective leaned her head to the side, her eyes darting towards an item in the low lit bar. “You’re not in his seat.”

In hindsight, Carisi should have seen this coming, she was a trained detective of more than twenty years, but still, Liv said it in such a motherly type of way; hidden with undertones.

“Yeah, no, no I’m not,” Carisi manages to stumble out, he glances over at the empty seat and a legal pad like his own appears with a man hunched over it, scribbling quickly as the two fingers of scotch he was working on finally drained dry.

The vision disappeared.

The Captain only hummed, perhaps she was expecting him to elaborate on his conscience thought of sitting beside a particular former A.D.A’s seat but Carisi doesn’t have the answer himself.

“It’ll get tough,” she said instead, Carisi’s eyes drift back over to her, she has that docile kind of smile, kind but sad, knowing something that others don’t.

“I know, Liv,” although practiced, Carisi is still new to this job, it isn’t like the transitioning to a detective, he had his experience from uni days, he had something to lean back to and familiarize himself with. This A.D.A business, this territory, it feels foreign and aches of familiarity and all he has to lean back to are his memories of a certain A.D.A who reluctantly showed him the ropes. That and Carmen, who Carisi was lucky to have. “I may have changed jobs, but it isn’t easier by a long shot,” his hands deftly go and grab a beer that’s been idling beside his paperwork and drinks, the cool liquid turning lukewarm in his mouth.

“Well if there is anyone who can overcome it is you, Carisi,” that smile with only fondness returns, “I can still remember where you went around the precinct sputtering your legalities to anyone who would listen.”

They share a laugh, his earlier days where he wasn’t as bright but he had the spirit, that’s what brought him here, his will.

“I’m proud of where I am, but I can’t help but feel like I’m trespassing on familiar grounds,” the smile that Carisi sports fall flat and when he looks back over to the empty seat filling the empty air with only a reappearance of a two-finger scotch and a brief flash of green, he bites his lower lip and picks up his pen again. “I want to build, but I don’t think I can tear down what’s already there.”

“Then don’t,” was her simplistic reply but Carisi should know Liv is everything but simple. Nonetheless, she pushes herself up from the seat and regards him once more, “I have to get back home to Noah,” she explains.

“Of course, thanks for the chat, Captain,” Carisi forces his eyes onto hers, those brown eyes always contemplating.

A hand is placed on his shoulder, “Give him a call, Carisi, I’m positive he’s thrilled.”

And she leaves. Carisi watches her go with the comment playing on a loop in his head, he knows the ghost that haunts this job for him, but he’s unwilling to say his name in fears that he will reappear.

-

It’s been six months since he became the new A.D.A and the job had become more ingrained into Carisi, it’s been smooth so far, but Carisi is wary because in this business smooth can end quickly.

Carisi is also surprised at how many late nights he spends at the low lit bar now, always sitting next to the empty chair which always seems to remain empty during his stay.

But it’s been two months and Carisi still hasn’t called like Liv suggested, Carisi mainly doesn’t know what to say and everything he wants to say he can’t. So he ignores the lingering ghost the best he can.

The case the squad caught isn’t a particularly rough one, Carisi just has to be cautious of a loophole the defense may exploit and so far he’s had a winning streak and he doesn’t want to mar it. Therefore, when a pair of footsteps, confident in its strides, makes its way towards the empty seat, Carisi fails to notice.

The detective that’s still in him dies a little at his carelessness.

But it isn’t until he feels the warmth of another body coming in close contact with him does Carisi’s pen stop. His eyes don’t leave his legal pad, mostly out of fear, but in his peripherals, he could see the bartender serve a drink to the new companion almost as in rote.

“Should I ask?” Carisi finally says, blue eyes unwilling to turn.

“Carmen still has her loyalties, remember to give her a raise.”

Carisi doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry, the voice, he hasn’t heard in almost two years fills his ears and all the memories he had in his arsenal to lean against when a case gets tough all merged together.

“Duly noted. Two years without a peep from you, I’m surprised to see your brief return,” it’s a bit more bitter than Carisi had wanted.

“I’m sorry,” Carisi blinks and his head finally lifts up and turns, that empty seat filling the empty air is not so empty anymore.

Rafael Barba sits there, scotch already in hands and from the looks of it, has been staring at Carisi since he got there.

“You were one of the people who should have known of my departure,” Rafael says, the rim of his glass holding his green eyes’ interest until they finally snap up and lock with Carisi’s blues, “personally.”

Carisi sighs, “I could have called- I wanted to but...,” his voice falls flat and he breaks the stare. “I guess I hadn’t forgiven you yet.”

“I haven’t either. The way I left, with only saying goodbye to Liv, Rita, and Mami, I don’t expect to be welcomed so quickly,” there’s a sad tug of his lips, he has a pout and it’s adorable. Rafael’s eyes glance down at the legal pad and there’s a small smile that appears, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I missed your insistent questions, looks like you got it all figured out,” Rafael caught his eyes, “Counselor.”

The flush that imprisons Carisi’s cheeks is embarrassing and a sputtering laugh tries to cover it, “I didn’t think I’d live long enough to hear that.”

“It’s well deserved, Carisi.”

“Sonny,” he quickly corrects.

Rafael raises his eyebrow.

“We’re not colleagues anymore, we haven’t been in a long time,” the answer seems to suffice, “besides, I have you to thank, Rafael.”

“No you don’t,” was the quick and curt response, “only yourself. You became A.D.A by yourself, acknowledge that.”

Carisi is momentarily stunned, but he nods his head nevertheless, “I-uh,” and for lack of better communication on his end, “why are you here, Rafael?”

“I see you still have that detective inside you.”

“I don’t think he’s ever going to leave.”

“I didn’t say I wanted him to.”

“Stop deflecting.”

“Because,” Rafael blinks and takes another sip of his scotch, “someone I did consider a friend should know that even though I don’t deserve their forgiveness, I’m proud of what they have done with themselves,” Rafael's lips tug again and now it’s into a smile, genuine, “and who they turned out to be. There’s no one better for this job.”

“There was you.”

The words fall quick before Carisi can think about them. Rafael is silent for a moment.

“There was. Now it’s you.”

“Why are you here?”

“I just told-“

“No you didn’t, why are you here on a Friday night, close to twelve am, trying to make good with an old-time friend who stole your job?”

“You didn’t steal anything, Carisi-“

“Sonny.”

“You didn’t steal anything, I left on my own volition, I’m excited that you finally got the job.”

“Finally?”

“You were my first recommendation to the DA’s office, good to know they actually valued my opinion.”

Carisi shook his head, there were too many emotions in there creating a headache.

“Why are you here, Rafael?”

“To give you that personal talk I should have given you two years ago.”

“Why now?”

“I see that you’ve settled nicely into your lawyer status-“

“Rafael.”

“Florida’s men are crazy and the city called back to me, I only learned of your status two weeks ago.”

“Who told you?”

“The papers.”

Carisi throws an eyebrow up and his gaze sharpens.

“Manhattan A.D.A Dominick Carisi Jr. wins the trial against sex trafficker.”

Carisi rolls his eyes, it was his third big case since becoming SVU’s ADA and Carisi had worked his ass off to ensure life for that man.

“Liv didn’t tell you?”

“No. She didn’t. I asked and she said I should have called you if I wanted to know so bad.”

“Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Excuse me?”

“Anything else you want to know about me since you’ve been gone?”

It’s a brief silence.

“Yes. But not here.”

Carisi blinks and it takes a moment, but Rafael looks over to him, the two interlocking eyes.

“What are you saying, Counselor?”

“Something I should have said two years ago: can I buy you a drink, A.D.A Carisi?”

Carisi smiles, he closes his legal pad, “Yes you can.”

[sparklycitrus]

Inverted Tropes Headcanon #3 - Of R and the Other M

Directly related to #1 and #2 so please read those first if you haven’t already.

R’s real name was redacted when he took part in a witness protection program right out of university. He came to Six after talking to one of his security details on the case, and afterwards got into the relatively quiet part of Q-branch in infrastructure maintenance. He was a diligent coder in his 30s, lived with two fellow Sixers (in legal and HR, both thoroughly vetted), and preferred the afternoon to night shifts at Q-branch. It gave him the peace and quiet he needed to work, plus also nicely offset Bond’s own schedule, so it all worked out very well.

R was one of the handful of Q-branch staff who was neither shocked nor angry with Boothroyd’s decision, even though the title of Quartermaster should’ve traditionally gone to him. He had seen Bond’s work, respected it greatly, and had no desire to be in the limelight. Instead of smuggling in cigars for Boothroyd he now snuck in whiskey for Bond, and in exchange he not only got to keep his corner desk through departmental restructuring but also got first dibs on any new tech coming from the labs. Not becoming quartermaster was like dodging a bullet, really. Hell, he could’ve unwittingly become the object of desire for all the double-ohs right now. The thought alone was enough to make him want to retreat to the deepest part of the server room and never emerge.

He didn’t know how Bond did it. Fending off all the wily assassins with aplomb and professionalism while simultaneously dealing with the rabble that was Q-branch on top of the natural stress that came with the job title. The man got chops, that was for sure, and R wouldn’t mind picking up his people skills via osmosis. Bond had other ideas, however. “Don’t delve into the politics,” he told R. “Your job is to keep us running smoothly while my job is to keep distractions from reaching you.”

“It’s just servers, sir,” R replied. “They practically run themselves.”

“Until someone decided to mess with them. How long has it been since you fended off the last attack?”

R glanced at his watch. Bond had a point. “42 minutes, sir.”

Bond’s answer was a raised eyebrow and a gesture of ‘see?’ with spread hands. R’s gaze fell to the floor, acutely aware of those sharp blue eyes on his face. “Keep up the good work,” Bond said, giving him an encouraging smile. R mumbled back a thanks. His face had now turned a very telling shade of pink, which Bond tactfully ignored as he returned his attention to the stack of blueprints on the table.

Alright, so maybe R also had the tiniest bit of crush on the Quartermaster. No one needed to know this, of course, and he certainly wouldn’t let it interfere with his job. He went straight back to reinforcing Six’s defenses. Someone he couldn’t possibly let down was depending on him, after all.

Gareth Mallory became M right after Olivia Mansfield’s unfortunate stint in Scotland concluded. He knew it was coming, predicted it the minute Mansfield planted her imperturbable self back on English soil. But he did not expect the speed everything took, and was almost blindsided when the promotion letter was deposited on his desk at JIC merely a day later. However, Mallory was anything if perpetually prepared. He cut swiftly through the bureaucracy, moved his office in record time, and took on the name of M as if he was always meant to be.

He expected the slew of structural changes that came with Six’s resettlement. Rebuilding Q-branch was a given, as were transitioning in the new section heads and replacing double-ohs lost in the skirmish. He gave 0010 some extra time off as his contribution was the greatest during the Skyfall incident, and immediately regretted the decision when Q took down two-thirds of Six’s firewalls for ‘fun’ three days into his leave. After that M revoked all of Q’s privileges whenever he had downtime longer than a weekend. It didn’t really help much, but it did slow him down enough for Q-branch to come up with reliable countermeasures. M rolled with it. All double-oh agents had their prickly sides. If certain ones were more unruly than others, why that only meant more red tapes needed to be implemented, and he had more than enough of those at his disposal.

It didn’t occur to him that this was Q’s way of trying to get attention from a certain bespectacled gentleman down in the basement. M had expected the best and brightest of British intelligence to behave like adults, and leave the pigtail-pulling on the grade-school playgrounds where they belonged. His mistake.  

“I was under the impression that hacking the servers was something Q always did, starting with my predecessor,” he said to Moneypenny one hectic morning.

“Yes, sir,” she nodded solemnly. “However, he had never been this…enthusiastic. It used to be more like testing for weaknesses than an all-out focused attack.”

“He does realize that it’s R who’s dealing with the breaches and not Bond himself?”

“Well, the Quartermaster still had to oversee the processes. Some of the time. I think the point is to get his attention however he can. Sir.”

M sighed. They really were goddamn children. “Anything else of note, Ms. Moneypenny? I’d like to be informed of all dalliances before I go make a speech about proper work conduct to our new recruits.”

“No sir. Not today at least.”

“Good,” M said, marginally relieved. He then dismissed his secretary with a wave and turned toward the door. Being the director of anything meant people management, and people tend to make the already complicated situation infinitely worse. It was unavoidable, but that’s alright. M knew what he was getting into when he started the job. There was no point turning back now.

(I thought it would be interesting to actually make R a hacker and Bond’s right-hand man, considering that Bond is not an expert in that field and might need someone else for the job. Which also makes me think that a non-reverse fic could feature R as an engineer-and-weapons guy to counterbalance Q’s expertise in the digital space. Just more thoughts.)

[al-y-aska]

(Full app & Interview)

OUT OF CHARACTER:

Name/Alias: Katja

Age: 23

Preferred Pronouns: she/her

Timezone: PST

IN CHARACTER:

Name: Legal name: Alaska Jameson AKA Aly James

Age: 18

Preferred Pronouns: she/her

District: Ashford (Edens Motel specifically, for the time being)

Time Spent in Town: Brand new, Extra Fresh meat

Occupation: unemployed (for the time being)

Faceclaim: Olivia Holt

Character Quote: “She stood in the storm. And when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails”.

Triggers: Character background includes car accident and fatal death of a parent, abuse mention, drug use.

Please let us know if there’s any triggers in the interview.

I also may submit some wanted character connections, if that’s alright!

THE INTERVIEW:

I. What are your favourite and least favourite things about your hometown? How do they compare to how you feel about Edens Town?

Aly bit her lip, her first time being confronted with such a question. She wasn’t a dishonest girl at heart, but she was still trying to survive. Lying it would be. “Compared to LA? It’s a pretty big difference, in my opinion. Edens Town is a lot smaller, and a lot nicer. Technically I grew up in the suburbs, you know, just outside of the city, but I always loved being able to see the lights no matter how far away you were. It was like you always knew which way was home. But of course that meant tons of people, traffic was brutal all the time... I just kind of got tired of it, I guess? You always knew which way was home, but it was so easy to feel lost yourself... I was ready for a change,”. Aly kept her cool, trying to hold down the vomit in her mouth. God did she make herself gag sometimes... but she was playing the part of the valley girl, and had to be committed to it.Home was where I grew up, it’s where I’ve always lived... but it kind of feels like that’s where I died, too, she thought. Aly thought back to when she was little; home was the place you went to feel happy, safe, comfortable... and it just wasn’t that anymore. Edens Town would be a nice little refresh.... they say that about small towns, right? Everyone it close. I’d love to have that feeling again.

II. How do you feel about your life? For example, your family, your job?

As personal as the questions were, Aly tried to not take it that way. If she wanted to answer honestly, her response would be ‘What the actual fuck’ in terms of how she felt about her life. But this wasn’t the time or place. The easiest way to lie, was to weave it in between kernels of truth. “There’s a big gap between me and my older siblings, so I’m pretty independent. My parents are super supportive of me... I was definitely one of those ‘free range’ children. #CaliforniaProblems, amiright?” Ew, she hated herself right now. “They said college would be a good idea, but so many people go into it without really knowing what they want to do. So I’m just taking some time off, you know, travelling, exploring.... ‘finding myself’.... all that good stuff,”. In reality, as far as she knew, her entire family was dead. Aly’s dad died in a car crash long ago, her mom hadn’t visited her since she had first gotten put in foster care, and her older brother and sister.... once they heard that their mom was drinking more and more, they all but cut off their communication with mom.... and thus, Alaska too. The blonde shook the thought away, remembering there was more to this one question. She hesitated for a moment.  I am.... was.... a prostitute... but I’m not anymore, I promise. Far away from Seth now, the girl answered in her head. “I don’t have a job right now, but I saw that the ice cream shop is hiring, so maybe I’ll work there? Earn some extra cash now that I’m here.”

III. What are your biggest achievements and your biggest regrets?

“I won a dance award while I was in high school that I’m really proud of. It got me a scholarship for a summer dance intensive, and I worked really hard for it,”. It wasn’t a lie... that was something that Aly was incredibly proud of. It reminded her of a time before things started spiraling out of control entirely. After dad died, after her mom had given her up, but before she had to run. It was her first foster home, she was still getting visitations with her mom, and it really did feel like a temporary thing. Alaska couldn’t help but chuckle some as she compared it to something else she was incredibly proud of: running away and being here. Oh how life had changed....

“I think my biggest regret... as much as I loved school and dance and whatnot, I kind of regret not hanging out with my friends as much, doing all the normal teenage-y things.” That, on the other hand, was a thick load of bullshit, but Aly stuck with it-- externally, anyways. My biggest regret might be having to leave my mom. I wish I could’ve stayed with her, maybe I could’ve helped her, or fixed her... not that I really had a choice in leaving, but still. I wish I could’ve been there for her, and I regret not being able to.

IV. What is your biggest fear?

“Not being happy in life. Isn’t that what we’re all chasing? The Pursuit?” she hadn’t ever tried LSD, but did she really need to at this point? She sounded like she was tripping on some serious sunshine and rainbows.

The question of her biggest fear chilled Aly to her core. She had left so abruptly; the apartment raid, the belongings scattered everywhere, the blood on the floor.... the young girl gathered up anything and everything she could find, any and all of her belongings and then some. Alaska wasn’t sure if it was a police raid or.... someone else -competition maybe?- that was trying to bust Seth, take his supply and everything he had earned from the girls-- girls like Aly. She had managed to find some cash, so either they didn’t look hard, or it had been a police raid. Either way, it wasn’t good for her. She was terrified that Seth -or one of the others- would be looking for her.... Alaska also knew she was a milk carton girl; she had run from foster care at 16, still a minor then. She knew a missing child report had been filed for her, her face plastered in places... that was a couple years ago now, she reminded herself. Plenty of other kids have gone missing since, her picture long since buried, likely-- especially now that she was 18. Moving to a small town was step 1. Only going by Aly, and not Alaska, was step 2.

V. What are your plans for the future?

The future? A bizarre concept for the girl up until now. “Honestly, I don’t think moving to Edens Town full-time would be all that bad... don’t you think? Settling down, maybe opening up a bar or something... I don’t know. I’m still young. For now, probably getting a job, a place to live, and a coffee.” maybe a fix, too, if there’s some left in my bag. She was still in shock that she was here, but happy none the less. She was a good kid, who deserved a lot more than she’d been given in life... but Aly had skeletons and secrets. Maybe this could be the start of turning things around.

VI. Can you describe yourself in one sentence?

Aly paused, not sure how to take the question. It was confusing, until it wasn’t. "That to which the action of the sea is directed,” she said proudly. Her dad had named her, and he made sure that growing up, Aly knew the strength and resilience that came with it, especially in its native spelling: Alyeska. The girl could practically hear him finish the rest of the phrase; “That to which the action of the sea is directed; that which breaks against the shore,” She liked to think that she lived up to it, and from time to time, made her dad proud, too. Aly. Alyeska.  Alaska.

[barisifictionarchive]

NOMINATED FICS (BY KUDOS)

As requested below are the remainder of the nominated fics by kudos listed in the January through March 2018.

Results are listed semi-alphabetically below the cut.

A Hard Day’s Work by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)

(5630|Explicit|Complete)

“It’s not really in your job description, but I keep trying to hang a painting and the mount won’t stay in place.”

“Oh, you need a stud.”

Rafael looked at Sonny, wide eyed. “I’m sorry?”

“A stud. You know, behind the drywall. You gotta have a stud to do a proper mount.”

A Story With No End by notmyyacht

(1630|General|Complete)

With every ending, there is a beginning.

Accommodations by Robin Hood (kjack89)

(1995|Teen|Complete)

All the ways in which Olivia notices Barba making room in his life for his lover.

Auld Lang Syne by bourgeois, rafaelbaseball

(2638|Not Rated|Complete)

If he was honest with himself, Sonny might admit he didn’t actually know what going to a District Attorney’s Office New Year's event would actually entail.

-

Or: Sonny Carisi went to the District Attorney’s Office New Year's party and all he got was this crappy inferiority complex.

Cabernet With Bae by PhillyStrega

(2553|General|Complete)

Fluffy nonsense featuring Sonny discovering that he likes to wear nail polish and Raphael likes that he likes it.

carpe that diem by seren_ccd

(1696|Not Rated|Complete)

“Just the last bit,” Amanda said outright laughing. “You do know the ladies’ room is next door? If you don’t want everyone to know that your kink is Latin legal terms, keep it in your pants the next time. Carpe your diem elsewhere.”

Sonny takes a moment to recover from an interrogation and Barba helps. Latin is involved and Amanda is amused. Pre-relationship. Very pre-relationship.

Coming Home by adrianna_m_scovill

(2935|Teen|Complete)

After a tough day at work, there's only one thing that can make ADA Barba smile. Or, rather, one person.

Clip-On by booyahfordham

(1523|General|Complete)

"what if when sonny first became a detective, he didn’t know how to tie a tie? so he spent all of his work days wearing clip ons or no tie at all until he meets barba and barba is just like 'okay what the fuck man'"

Set during 17x09 "Depravity Standard"

Clueless Bisexuals and Their Blindspots by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)

(7638|General|Complete)

Running into Sonny, once again, molding himself to a girlfriend's interests, makes Rafael open his big mouth and ask some questions. Turns out he and Sonny are not necessarily the most observant queers in a room.

Daylight by cypress_tree

(2810|Explicit|Complete)

It's the first time Sonny's stayed the night. The first time Rafael's seen him naked in the sun.

Evident by unadrift

(2616|Teen|Complete)

"Well," Rita says and crosses her legs. "It seems your SVU detective and wannabe-attorney will live in infamy. His tendency to force unsolicited legal advice on people more knowledgeable on the subject has become a bit of a running gag in our circles."

Favor by rai87

(2245|General|Complete)

“It’s one night, Rafael. Just a few hours, and I’m not asking you to play boyfriend of the year. We just have to sit together and be civil, and as soon as the wedding is over we can go our separate ways.”

Hold It Against Me by AHumanFemale, Power-Bottom-Barba (Cap_Against_The_Clap), Robin Hood (kjack89)

(11939|Explicit|Complete)

“You know, pride is one of the seven deadly sins.”

Carisi struggled to keep his voice light as he leaned against the bars of the holding cell, peering through them at Barba, who was slumped, forlorn, on the hard metal bench. Barba looked up at him, already scowling, and suspiciously unsurprised to see him there. “I was raised Catholic,” he said, with just a hint of his usual snark. “I’d like to think I remember something as basic as the seven deadly sins.”

“And yet you still refuse to just swallow your pride, huh?” Carisi asked, aiming for rhetorical and missing by a mile, the stress of the day creeping into his voice as he straightened. “It doesn’t take much, Counselor. Pretty sure all you owe is an apology and a small payment and you’d be free to go.”

Barba huffed a sigh and tipped his head back against the wall. “Oh, is that all?” he asked. “Did you come all this way to enlighten me of what I have to do to be released from jail after being held in contempt of court?”

i can’t swim (but i’m not sinking) by seren_ccd

I’ll Be There Every Time You Crash by ChameleonCircuit

(3671|General|Complete)

“I’m not hiding, Carisi. I’m doing my job, just like you.”

“Yeah but--“

“But what?” Rafael snapped, turning to face Sonny properly. “But, I’m your partner? But, I’m here for you? But, I love you?”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” Sonny said with a quiet laugh, aiming for teasing. He ducked his head a little to catch Rafael’s eyes as he lowered them. “All those things, yes. But also, we don’t always have to be Carisi and Barba.”

“No? Who else would we be?” Rafael asked, voice wavering just slightly before he lifted his gaze again, all steel.

“Sonny and Rafael.”

Irresistibly Desired by surrenderdammit

(4138|Explicit|Complete)

“What do you call me, when you’ve been a good boy, Sonny?” Rafael pushes, wanting to hear it. He’s been counselor and Barba all week, with a few stolen Rafis and babes in empty corners of an office or a courthouse. He misses this headspace, misses the intimacy and the way it relaxes them both.

L'amore davvero by tobeconspicuous

(4106|Teen|Complete)

“You look so amazing bathed in moonlight. I’ll miss it.”

“Per me questo é il momento piú triste della giornata, perché devo separarmi da te … anche se per poche ore.”

A 'Love Actually' Inspired AU

Office Hours by cypress_tree

(2989|Explicit|Complete)

After resigning from his career as an A.D.A., Rafael moves to Boston with Sonny, and gets a job as a professor at Harvard. (Sonny thinks it's really hot.)

Once More, With Feeling by HoopyFrood

(5437|General|Complete)

Sonny wouldn’t call himself a theatre aficionado by any stretch of the imagination. He enjoys musicals in the same way he does baseball or cheesy B movies. But somewhere along the line theatre became his sanctuary in a way his other interests never did. A safe place. Something just for him that was untouched by distraught young women thinking they’d done wrong and angry young men thinking they hadn’t.

One Little Chance by Power-Bottom-Barba (Cap_Against_The_Clap), Robin Hood (kjack89)

(3838|Explicit|Complete)

Sonny glanced around the table set up in Amanda’s spare bedroom, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Am I the only one who thinks this is a terrible idea, given, you know, Amanda’s history?”

“Oh please,” Amanda scoffed, dealing the cards. “We’re not even betting anything. This is just a friendly game of poker between colleagues to pass time on New Year’s Eve.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Of course, you’re welcome to go watch Ryan Seacrest on TV in the living room if this is a little too adult for you to handle.”

“Yeah Carisi,” Olivia said with an easy grin, looking more relaxed than she’d seemed in recent weeks, in no small part because Jesse and Noah were having a sleepover at her place with Lucy, and she was getting regular text updates. “We’re all just having fun.”

Rafael made a small noise of disagreement as he glanced at his cards. “Speak for yourselves,” he said, taking a sip of scotch. “Even if the stakes are nonexistent, I still play to win.”

Or, a poker game on New Year's Eve ups the ante for Sonny and Rafael.

Playing Enemies by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)

(9817|General|Complete)

There's a creeper DA who needs to get taken down. In order to get it done, Sonny and Rafael have to play at breaking up.

Quiet Unrest by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)

(39332|Explicit|WIP)

Rafael and Sonny return from their honeymoon only to immediately become immersed in a case of a missing teenage girl that takes its toll both on their young marriage and the entire squad.

Rose to the Occasion by Astronaut_Milky

(2323|General|Complete)

“So… anything we should know about?”

He squinted his eyes, wary of her teasing tone. She tilted her chin, gesturing to his desk, and when he followed her eyeline his confusion only increased.

A rose.

A single white rose, placed on his desk next to his mug.

Something Special by jamesgatz1925

(3025|General|Complete)

Sonny is a third grade teacher and has a big impact on one of his students.

Sooner Or Later (It Comes Down To Fate) by Meduseld

(4198|Mature|Complete)

Sonny’s been waiting for the right person. Barba’s not entirely sure it’s him.

The Cuban by AHumanFemale

(2014|General|Complete)

Rafael has a type and his mother knows it.

The Italian by AHumanFemale

(5716|Teen|Complete)

“You’re a good boy, Dominick.”

“Everyone calls me Sonny,” he said ruefully, as though it were a defense against her shrewd eye. It didn’t fool her. “You can too, if you want. Even if your son doesn’t.”

“Your mother calls you that?”

“Yeah. Since about two minutes after I was born.”

“Well, I’m not your mother,” she shot back but it was too soft to be venomous. “Your Christian name was good enough for your priest and it’s good enough for me.”

[Or, Sonny and Lucia spend some quality time together and wind up getting themselves into more trouble than planned.]

The Homecoming by keraunoscopia

(4024|Explicit|Complete)

Sonny counts the steps as he walks up the eight stories to the apartment he hasn’t called home in nearly ten months. Two flights to a story, ten steps to a flight, a hundred and sixty steps to the landing. The count calms him, reminds him that this is still his home, the same familiar place he had moved into three years ago, the apartment he shares with Rafael.

The Proposal AU by jamesgatz1925

(15971|General|Complete)

The Proposal AU!

The Wound and its Worth by nukablastr

(2435|Teen|Complete)

As they stood together in the lobby of Liv's building waiting on the Lyft that Rafael had called, Sonny slid his arm instinctively into the angle of his elbow. "That was nice," he said, then after a beat added, "Uncle Rafa."

"God," he muttered, his own smile traitorous. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Perhaps we should set up play-dates for you and the other kids more often."

"Hey," Sonny leaned into him. "You're just jealous that Noah thought my robot was cool."

--

A coda to the events of 19x9, in which Rafael deals with his feelings about children.

this is the place where everything starts to begin by ships_to_sail

(31857|Explicit|WIP

The parents never quite understood how much easier it all was once they left the room.

Not that he was eager to chase away this particular parent. Mr. Barba seemed intent to look just about everywhere but at Sonny, turning startling green eyes and razor sharp attention to the art on the walls, the line of cubbies with hooks beneath them, the vat of legos Chris and Natalie had just managed to dump out all over the floor. Sonny cleared his throat and held out his hand.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Barba, my name is Sonny. I'm the lead teacher here in the EPK room. EPK all the way,” he added from rote, his fists shaking in the air above his head in the mock cheer he was always trying to get the kids to copy. Sonny was babbling, and treating a full grown man like a toddler.

Sonny was in trouble.

This Mess by barbaesparza

(1335|Explicit|Complete)

Having Sonny Carisi as his boyfriend can be a struggle. Especially when he insists on strutting into Rafael's office half an hour before he needs to leave for a meeting, more or less begging for something which has a high probability of messing up his suit.

"I can't get messy, Sonny. I want to, but-" "You won't. Promise."

Then again, he has half an hour.

"I can do it," Sonny says. "I can do anything you want me to."

And Sonny is very convincing... not that Rafael needs to be convinced.

This Will Be Our Year by rafaelbaseball

(2460|General|Complete)

A Barisi New Year's Eve story based on the following prompt:

Barba: I wasn't that drunk last night. Liv: You were flirting with Carisi. Barba: Yeah? So? He's my boyfriend. Liv: You asked him if he was single and then cried when he said no.

Rafael gets a little rambunctious at the squad's New Year's Eve party and faces the consequences the following day.

Two Weeks Notice by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson) 

(17429|Teen|Complete)

“This case looks promising, and I’m willing to take it on, if you do something for me.” Rafael fixed him with the look he used when sitting across from opposing counsel and Sonny’s cheeks turned pink.

“Um...what did you have in mind? Because I’m not really sure that--”

“I want you to come work for me."

we always knew by astromena

(1441|Not Rated|Complete)

Change stops hurting once it becomes unnoticeable.

When Rafael Met Sonny by rai87

(8758|Teen|Complete)

"The first time we met, we hated each other."

"No, you hated me, I didn't hate you."

"And the second time we met, you didn't even remember me."

"I did too, I remembered you."

"The third time we met, we became friends."

With Benefits by Astronaut_Milky

(17465|Mature|Complete)

“First rule, no emotions. The second either of us feels anything slightly romantic, we stop. Agreed?” “Agreed. Second rule, we tell no one at work.” “Standard. Third rule, this is a one time deal, and we stay friends after.” “Agreed."

Without Precendent by lousy_science

(4891|Explicit|Complete)

One of the lesser-known side effects of a death threat is the appearance of Sonny Carisi in your shower.

Worth It by findafight

(4011|General|Complete)

Sonny’s cheeks are tinged a pretty pink, Rafael thinks it's very cute, and he must have a lot of painkillers in his system and be very much in love to think like that, but he finds he doesn’t mind much.“Uh. Yeah. Do you want some water?” Rafael shakes his head a little, there’s an IV in his arm, and he drank some the doctor gave him. He really only wants to talk to Sonny. Sonny nods and takes a hand through his hair, messing it up more, looking ruffled in a way that makes his chest tighten with affection. He must really love this man if ruffled hair and a Staten Island accent make him feel like this. He wonders how long they’ve been together.

Or, Rafael loses four years worth of memories and assumes he and Sonny are dating, because he knows he loves him in his gut. Or his heart. Or something. Except...they aren't together. Yet.

You and Me Both by seabass

(27701|Teen|Complete)

Brooklyn's flashy new ADA and a Queen's street cop meet in their kidnappers' basement. Somehow, it's even less romantic than it sounds.

You’ve Got Mail by jamesgatz1925

(7354|General|Complete)

Rafael and Sonny are text-pals. The problem is...neither of them know it.

[angeltriestoblog]

I watched a couple of movies! (Part 1)

Back when I regularly had the luxury of long breaks, I spent my days binge-watching films, as you can see from my extensive knowledge of 80s chick flicks and all the cheesy tropes and disgustingly adorable, predominantly white leading men that come with them. Sadly, a side effect of growing older in the digital age seemed to be the diminishment of my attention span: the only things I could focus on were academic requirements, simply because I had to. But, thanks to several factors—the suspension of online classes, the sudden annoyance I developed towards Barney Stinson that prompted me to discontinue How I Met Your Mother, etc.—I decided it was high time to rekindle this lost love. So, here is an unsolicited review of the 17 films I managed to finish in a little over a week! Rest assured, I tried my best to venture out of familiar territory and brush up on some of the more cultured picks, according to Letterboxd, at least.

Bar Boys (2017, dir. Kip Oebanda) ★★★

The film that kickstarted everything, which I never would have seen if the director had not uploaded the full version on YouTube. This well-meaning tale of four best friends (Carlo Aquino, Rocco Nacino, Enzo Pineda, and Kean Cipriano) and the challenges they face in law school—terror professors, fraternities, and financial difficulties included—does have a lot of heart, and is sensitive enough to show how the effect of this experience differs depending on a student's background. But, what it lacked for me was a certain degree of specificity: I think the same premise would have been applicable in med school, or any other post-graduate degree for that matter. So, why did the characters choose law? I also would have appreciated some commentary on the shortcomings of the country’s justice system, and further fleshing out of the characters so the audience could have seen why we could count on them to fill in the gaps.

Legally Blonde (2001, dir. Robert Luketic) ★★★½

The rating might be surprising, considering that the courtroom scene was responsible for the short law school phase I had in Grade 5. As if I could ever make use of the rules of haircare in an actual cross-examination. Of course, I am compelled to admire Elle (Reese Witherspoon) and how her motivations for going to Harvard shift from winning back a boy to discovering what she never knew she had and using these gifts to help those around her (especially the manicurist, who I feel was given way more exposure than what was due to her). Ultimately, though it was inspirational at some points, it felt too good to be true and impossible to relate to. (But then again, shouldn’t there be a willing suspension of disbelief when consuming forms of media such as this?)

Lady Bird (2017, dir. Greta Gerwig) ★★★★★

I’ll probably end up making a separate post dedicated to this movie and how it singlehandedly called me out, as a sensitive, occasionally self-important product of an all-girls Catholic high school. For now, I am forced to condense my overflowing feelings into a couple of sentences. Lady Bird takes place over the course of the titular character's senior year, a pivotal moment in the lives of all teenagers. But, instead of focusing solely on the formulaic firsts like the normal coming-of-age film would, it shines a light on her dwindling relationship with her equally strong-willed mother. Saoirse Ronan’s colorful performance as the human embodiment of my pre-teen self's conscience, and Greta Gerwig’s tremendous ability to make even oddly specific scenes speak to any viewer shine through and speak to me the most, and easily make this gem something I will be recommending this to anyone who bothers to ask for as long as I live.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018, dir. Bryan Singer) ★★★

There’s a lot of controversy surrounding Bo Rhap, particularly its failure to portray Freddie Mercury in a manner that does him justice. While I understand that it is a valid concern for fans of the band, I admit I don’t know enough about who he was as a person to criticize the film in this aspect. Regardless of its factuality, this still was just average for me, the typical rise-and-fall type of biopic that is indicative of a rockstar’s legacy, but with laughably faulty editing. The redeeming factors were Rami Malek’s brilliant portrayal of the legend himself—his Live Aid performance gave me chills that lasted the entire 20 minutes, how alarming—and, obviously, the soundtrack that I kept on loop for several days.

About Time (2013, dir. Richard Curtis) ★

Apparently, this movie focuses on Tim (Domhnall Gleeson), who discovers at age 21 that the men in his family have the power to time-travel and thus revise and repair certain parts of their lives. He uses this to address the fact that he’s never had a girlfriend, and effectively so as he ends up bagging Mary (Rachel McAdams), a charming American who is the settler in this relationship by default. But, of course, this gift is not without its dire consequences—or at least, that’s what it says on Wikipedia. It’s hard to trash on this and admit that I bailed halfway because so many of my friends swear by this. But, I just couldn’t stomach the lack of chemistry between the two leads; the surprisingly boring dialogue for a screenplay crafted by Richard Curtis of Notting Hill fame; and the story that, although bore enough of a resemblance to “The Time Traveler’s Wife” to be interesting, was still not powerful enough to sustain my attention.

Your Name (2016, dir. Makoto Shinkai) ★★★★★

I’m a huge fan of plots that are sure to make my eyes swell and heart hurt—I can’t explain the psychology behind this either. So when this was recommended to me and I had made it through an hour without shedding a single tear, I was prepared to be disappointed. But, the events leading up to the conclusion proceeded to rip me into shreds, as if to taunt me and say, “You asked for it.” Mitsuha (Mone Kamishiraishi) and Taki (Ryunosuke Kamiki), teenagers living on opposite sides of the country, suddenly start switching bodies following the appearance of a comet. This unexplainable phenomenon causes them to forge an unbreakable bond that transcends the very limits of time and space. I know the description is not much, but it’s best to experience this unique plot for yourself. Besides its storyline, its charm lies in its excruciating attention to detail in depicting life in urban and rural Japan, both in the realistic animation of one picturesque scene after another, and the use of cultural elements to arrive at a twist viewers will not see coming.

Booksmart (2019, dir. Olivia Wilde) ★★★★½

I can't summarize what I imagine Booksmart to be for teenagers in the future, so here's an entire scenario: It's the year 2070. Two young girls of around 16 are sprawled on their bedroom floor, watching this on whatever device they use for streaming. (Maybe it's from an LCD projector embedded in their foreheads, who knows.) The credits roll, and they instantly think to themselves, "Man, we were born in the wrong generation!" (They simultaneously think of doing a high-five, and without raising their hands themselves, it happens because that's technology.) Anyway, Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein) are best friends who played by the rules all throughout high school and realized too late that they could’ve afforded to have a little more fun. On the eve of their graduation, they decide to cram four years’ worth of adventure in a single unpredictable and outrageous night, getting to grips with everything that comes their way in an exceedingly comedic yet refreshing fashion. Also, the protagonists have such a genuine and wholesome relationship: the way they hyped up their most ridiculous looking outfits, or overshared borderline uncomfortable stories is honestly my personal definition of an ideal friendship.

When Harry Met Sally (1989, dir. Rob Reiner) ★★★★½

Despite this film’s constant presence in every “chick flicks you must watch” list I’ve bothered searching up, I spent a huge chunk of my teen years in constant protest against the decision to cast Billy Crystal as the male lead instead of, I don’t know, literally any other actor on the planet. But, once I finished it, I realized that he’s a much better fit than I thought. The laidback Harry to Meg Ryan’s finicky Sally, both of them spare no effort exploring and debunking truths and misconceptions about modern relationships: examples of which are the idea of being high maintenance, and the quintessential question of whether a guy and girl can ever be just friends. Although their dynamic is the definition of slow burn, audiences can’t help but earnestly root for the pair—the frustration brought by the several almosts pay off in the end, as they lead to one of, if not, the most romantic love confession scene.

Hintayan ng Langit (2018, dir. Dan Villegas) ★★★★½

This tale adapted from a play by no less than Juan Miguel Severo is set in purgatory—a grandiose art museum-four star hotel hybrid of sorts—where souls can stop and rest while their papers for entry to heaven are being processed. It is here we meet Manolo (Eddie Garcia) and Lisang (Gina Pareno), ex-lovers with unfinished business. Things admittedly start off a bit slow, but it's understandable since there needs to be ample provision of context regarding the standard operating procedures of this unique waiting area. Once that’s done, the focus stays on the main actors, who drive audiences to tears with their powerful performances, and thought-provoking questions on matters of betrayal, forgiveness, and the afterlife. The ending had me rocking back and forth like a baby, my shirt soaked with tears, so do take heed and stock up on tissues!

The Social Network (2010, dir. David Fincher) ★★★★★

Within its packed first 15 minutes alone, you can easily see what makes The Social Network an example of cinema at its finest: an intoxicated Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) hacks into the websites of all Harvard dorms to create Facebook’s oldest ancestor from scratch, in an attempt to get back at his ex-girlfriend. The atmosphere is tense, the dialogue is loaded with witty one-liners and powerful insight, and the actors are so in touch with their characters they practically fuse into a single person. This remains consistent for the next two hours or so, making for an enjoyable and fast-paced, yet still informative glimpse into the human side of what is arguable the most powerful company of this era. I also heard that it’s much more fun if seen with the cast commentary on, so I’m gonna have to find a copy of that for myself!

Pretty in Pink (1986, dir. Howard Deutch) ★★★★★

I’m cheating here, I know: this has been a long-time favorite, but I guess I can still give a review if I was still 15 when I last saw this. Andie (Molly Ringwald) and Blane (Andrew McCarthy)’s classic “poor girl + rich boy = happily ever after” story is masterfully tackled by John Hughes, who manages to inject equal amounts of swoon-worthy romance and biting criticism of the inherent class divide in society. Others would argue that Duckie (Jon Cryer), Andie’s devoted best friend, is the true star of the show, and while I do agree that he has his shining moments (if you listen closely, you can hear Try A Little Tenderness playing softly in the background), I sadly inherited my mother’s adoration for Andrew, which I will pass on to my child and so on—truly the defining characteristic of our lineage.

St. Elmo’s Fire (1985, dir. Joel Schumacher) ½

I understand that being an adult in the Real World is bound to come with some grave mistakes and lapses in judgment. But, not a single character in this friend group redeems themselves by the end. While Ally Sheedy’s Leslie and Mare Winningham’s Wendy were just borderline forgettable (why did the latter even end up here with the Brat Pack?), Judd Nelson’s Alec cheats on his girlfriend and believes that marriage is what will make him change his ways; Rob Lowe’s Billy neglects the family he didn’t plan on having by fooling around with other women and making a home out of his favorite bar; Demi Moore’s Jules relies on cocaine and extramarital affairs to hide trauma she refuses to process, and Andrew McCarthy’s pretentiously cynical Kevin suddenly claims he knows what love is when Leslie pays attention to him for 10 minutes. But, none of them compare to Emilio Estevez’ Kirby, the sociopath obsessed with a girl he barely knows. It honestly resembles some sick contest of how many problems this gang can cause before they end up behind bars, with the last scene being a lazy and rushed attempt to wrap everything up, in the name of this surface-level “friendship”.

Before Sunrise, Sunset, and Midnight (1995, 2004, 2013; dir. Richard Linklater) ★★★★★

Guess it’s better to admit it now, but I made this post as an excuse to rave about how beautiful this trilogy is, the most authentic depiction of love in its purest form. Sunrise has been recommended to me by both friends and the Netflix algorithm, but I put off watching it again and again and again. I mean, what could I possibly get out of looking at two strangers roam around Vienna? Well, to answer that question: quite a lot. Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy)’s relationship spans an entire trilogy, and throughout that period, they manage to define then destroy the idea of having a soulmate to call your own in approximately six hours. But certain constancies are present in each movie: the emotion intense even in the smallest of gestures (you don't understand the anguish I feel when the scene at the listening booth randomly pops in my head), the dialogue truly thought-provoking and natural, the settings so picturesque, and the chemistry of the actors so electric I have trouble believing that the director didn’t actually invade the personal space of a real couple and eventually get issued a restraining order.

High Fidelity (2000, dir. Stephen Frears) ★★

I’d like to think of this as an essay: I'm confident that the introduction is the protagonist Rob's soliloquy on his five biggest breakups to understand why he’s so flawed that everyone always leaves him, and the conclusion his attempt to win his ex Laura (Iben Hjejle) back. But as for the body, I’m not entirely sure. Interspersed between these moments are thoughtful top five lists of anything that can be enumerated, and occasional banter with the employees at his record store that may be charming, but do not enhance the film in any way, shape, or form for me. Also, I normally enjoy seeing John Cusack onscreen, but more often than not, he was nagging in front of the camera instead of talking to the people around him; no wonder his relationships failed!

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010, dir. Edgar Wright) ★★★

I wanted to enjoy this so bad, I swear! Sadly, the one thing I gained after seeing this is knowledge of where the “I’m So Sad, So Very Very Sad” meme came from. I get that it’s supposed to resemble a comic book or video game, and maybe the reason why I failed to appreciate this as much is because I was never a fan of either. I found the prolonged action scenes surprisingly boring, the storyline too fantastic, and the whole quest of having to defeat seven monstrous exes for the hand of a manic pixie dream girl not worth it in the end. Although I can’t give it less than three stars given its impressive visual effects, and appeal to the entire Tumblr community (gamers on one end, millennial film connoisseurs on the other), it’s definitely not something I would watch a second time.

There will surely be more where that came from! (I mean it. Since completing this post, I’ve finished another five films.) If you wanna keep tabs on what I’m watching without having to wait on another post, you can give my Letterboxd a follow. Wishing you love and light always, and don’t forget to wash your hands and pray for our frontliners!

[efosa123]

Video Traffic Genie Pro 2.0 [Steal From Other People] all right it's time machine here for my few reviews and now this we make we review of a new product which I found : video traffic Genie and this one right here obviously this is from a website you know just put this on the air so you can feel free to check it out this is what the end link down below is your link to and then when you get there you'll see review of a video traffic Genie I'll just jump onto the JV page here and the tranquility make this video short and quick to the point but yeah future this particular but this person let's just for jhamora it's actually created by a Paul Venables who's made it so it'll be in the members area and it'll be showing you all the training and how to use the actual software but when I first heard this product I'll be honest with you I wanted to excited about it it said the video traffic Genie I thought to myself oh no under the traffic training course no software promising you were a new traffic source but when I saw this video here which I'll leave a link down below to my website I'll play this video there also and I learned a lot more about it and I realized yeah this is kind of cool you don't mean it's the I realize it's the best automated kind of software which I've ever seen I mean once you get this set up it really is everything on autopilot and I will explain to you how it works in a minute and this will be the mem doctor person there this is the members area likes plenty all the software training will be provided and the best thing about this I'll tell you now is you really don't need anything or you don't really have to do much either you don't need to make your own videos you know don't get worried about creating videos you don't have to make your video you don't have to rank your video you don't have to know anything about SEO you don't even need a YouTube channel you know that's the best thing and I'll explain that to you now what it does is actually finds when you open up a YouTube video it means a link down below with a domain name and you'll find a broken kind of link you know when the domain name is no longer used in use and the best way to explain it I'll just jump on to YouTube that now I just give me a sec I'll type in something like him I'll just show you now yeah here we are just jumped onto YouTube and I typed in there's something I'm interested in how to build muscle and these are the videos which are popped up if you're engineer they say check this guy is the number one guy right now but anyway I don't want to create divergent but before mine is if you click on any of these videos I'll just do this one because it's a six-pack abs and I've seen that the protocol back on the Clickbank if you purchase it you get commission but let's just click on this video and I'll show you what it's about okay this is the ad I'll just mute e I don't want to show the ad but I don't even want to show the video this video is not important at all what's important is this link here now this might not be a good example but some of these links here the big can like broken delete or nothing cuz then if you've ever purchased a domain name you have to purchase them really I mean most people get on for a year and then check it out and if it works they knew it but for some whatever reason people a lot of people don't menu these links and these links go to either and a failure of one of your own products and if it's a broken link at least in no way and that's where traffic Genie Pro comes into it with your traffic unit oh if I these broken domains you've broken links and where you can buy the actual domain through that link you just jump onto Namecheap and not pretty a domain name you can get from between ten to fifteen dollars they're not expensive and that's for the year and you can renew it every year but some people don't in um and that's what that software actually does it just gets that link I want to purchase that domain and then when someone clicks on this link this will be your product you'll get you'll get to form or anything you wish like if I click on this year this is gonna lead somewhere but if it was a broken link the software would have found it and they won't have led anywhere but this leads to yet where he's selling something sellin his own product in this one but you don't need your own product you can just get an affiliate offer I'll just get back to the page and this is the page then where you find is a failure often you just do you can just jump onto any year network and this is Clickbank here jimbacca Clickbank got a Maki a place that was a six-part video which are showed yet the finished training video and jump onto yet you come along this side and find a fitness or muscle building yeah that's the one health and fitness there you click on that and get this link 20 of these products here with you to do with fitness and also here you got these are subcategories here also men's health and mafia let's get to the first one flat belly that's not good to get flat belly maybe support or what yeah both we will get the right one and if you promote this one you'll get $34.92 that's it someone purchases and now that's what the actual software does they'll find them broken domain broken links you get the domain name and the trainings all provided you get to fix that domain to the to this affiliate link and there were someone purchases you get to that you get the Commission's and put in that instance of you gain $34.92 so that's actually what yeah what it does what this product does and if you're trapped at uni and if you want to learn more about it is a video on my website as I was showing you me website earlier you click the link down below it'll come to this page here yeah I'll come to this page yeah this is me website I'm not completely finished with you yet so you'll get a lot more than this will be this video on at the top and I will play this video below somewhere this watch this video start to finish the special person they're all Venables you explained us introduction video will explain everything in step how to use the software to connect the domain name to your affiliate link when someone clicks on that link I'll go directly to your your link so when someone purchases you'll get paid for it that's how you make money and the best thing about this software is it's the best automated software up saying I mean really you're not gonna have to do anything or didn't have to do is purchase the domain and that's it you know you're worried about ranking your video you don't have to worry about SEO you don't have to worry you don't even need your own YouTube channel you know you don't have to worry about you getting views to the channel because if the video Olivia views basically stealing someone else's content and that's not illegal that's perfectly legal and you just add in your own name affiliate link at the bottom using somebody else's hard work and everything now for whatever reason didn't Avenue their domain name and that's where the software comes in so you get to purchase it just wanna learn more about it jump onto my website click the link down below and you'll come to this page yeah but in this video I want to really show is that my bonuses will shield the game so when you purchase this and to be a yeah what are your flows account will be access the area section and below that'll be a poem which will say and grab your bonuses machines bonuses and these are the bonuses you'll be getting through me that the ternopil is I think there's seven eight in total yeah and is that these are just to add you know used to me included used to put you through my link cuz I reckon I'm given the best bonuses and I know allows and you can see I've got more Wilier to YouTube this one here that's the course created by Brendan Mesa to explode your YouTube channel so over 40,000 subscribers last I checked to Nepal is on there that well but get this it will explain to you how to use a YouTube channel this is my own YouTube course which are created and I do use this which is why I created a short course and when you come to this page is click on the images here and you'll open up the actual your bonus here there you go that's mine there is a video course which are created I mean I used everything here so maybe is a shorter five 10 minute videos explaining everything you know what I will rank my videos anything so if you see this if you see this YouTube video on the first page of the YouTube I've used everything in here in this section it's another course these are for cost a small jackin caused by another famous youtuber and there's a YouTube course it teaches everything about backlinking again your videos rank high in YouTube and Google this is included this this is actually on YouTube was place affiliate marketing eCourse which I believe you should all be into and that is one of the best courses and using an affiliate marketing created by a blended mace again here's another YouTube host The Awakening and all these three courses you're different is slightly different and the both of the don't take so you want to check this one out as well as interesting and here's another good one this is a special one called instant video site it's now there's a link on this above which I'll show you which will explain basically how when you lose this I don't know quite a few reviews on this before and then when you come here just click on that I know you like to do is just enter your details there create your own account and you're good to go create your own website and then there are YouTube videos other people YouTube videos and you don't have to create your own video it's not to basically fill the website from scratch within about two minutes what's the demonstration video which are shown is another bonus of mine YouTube to rank your videos higher on YouTube this is PLR and I'm not used to be honest the basic equation do have to do is vacuum videos on YouTube and Google but I'm also giving you the rights to sell this as well I'm not unzip this or anything so everything will be there you can only have to do it and your PayPal button and you'll begin with this one is a PLO so you'll get your video yes the sales page download page everything go there just how do you PayPal button and then you can sell this for however much you wish or you can just use it let me know if there were student might even open them yourself I've got this money ultimate page optimization checklist this is a checklist don't take this the quality this won't seriously because if you on my youtube because they're everything I do will be in that checklist and that'll help you to rank your videos higher on that YouTube and Google so check that out and then you know once you turn a single Chinese your ticket along and you should should also be fine really if you do so people on YouTube and also don't forget to join me Facebook group and do you know some bonuses which you thinking anything is 18 total there is your introduction video I don't know what else I can say but oh yeah let me get back to the price not about the price I'll just show you the price of the video traffic Genie give me a second they're back on the JV page I'll just get to the phone oh you miss it yeah this is the actual open all day and a couple of more tears which I won't talk about related I don't know what they're about a pink aluminum I go through the pages it'll be something extra man you weigh the front end up costing at $27 and can you straight away cuz the price will go up to 47 dollars and there with the policy it'll be again you can't go wrong really for that price is fairly cheap $27 you know first observed me 37 dollars a month oh yeah at least 67 dollars check you know check I'll go to crazy if that's any of any value fear method will not be $27 or same $7 really that's the price real that's way got a constitution it's only $27 with the 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[pokemaniacal]

Pokémon Moon, Episode 8: In Which I Am Given A Stern Talking-To By A Colourful Sisterly Figure

“So what you’re saying is, you almost killed my Totem Lurantis because your crazy great-grandmother would have wanted it that way?”  Mallow folds her arms as she waits for an answer. “…she had a drinking problem.  And a gambling problem.  And… several legal problems.  But she was pretty spry for 94.” “When did she…?” “Um… well, about eight years back, the law caught up with her, and she grabbed a shotgun, stole a motorbike, kidnapped the neighbours’ Heracross, and skipped town, laughing all the way.  Honestly she’s, uh… probably still kicking.  Somewhere out there.”  I idly dunk a spoon in the half-finished pot of stew from Mallow’s trial and taste it. “Mmmmmmmm, that’s so f%&£ing good. Good call on the Revival Herb, by the way.”  Mallow shudders. “Okay, well… I’m pretty sure you did technically pass my trial… somehow… so… take these, I guess.” She thrusts a sack of Nest Balls at me, then hands me her Z-Crystal, the Grassium-Z, and leaves me to explore the jungle on my own.  Now that I can encounter and catch wild Pokémon there, I am rewarded with three new ones: Bounsweet, Comfey, and Oranguru.  I’m not exactly inspired by these so far.  Bounsweet is a round, pinkish-red fruit Pokémon that brings to mind the phrase “oh, look, it’s Cherubi,” but it does evolve into something that might not be Cherrim, so we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.  Comfey is a Hawaiian lei Pokémon, one of those Flabébé-like Fairy-types that really looks as though it should be a Grass-type and has a bunch of stuff that supports Grass-types; it’s nice and thematically appropriate to the setting but doesn’t seem to evolve, and so far doesn’t really look like it’ll measure up to a fully-evolved Florges.  The third Pokémon, Oranguru, is so far the most interesting-looking – a purple and white apelike Normal/Psychic Pokémon that fights from a cross-legged sitting position.  It too shares a Pokédex page with something else, so there’s a good chance it will evolve.

When I leave the jungle, Professor Kukui turns up to congratulate me on passing all three of Akala Island’s trials, and remind me that I’m not off the hook yet: the next step is to face Kahuna Olivia in battle, to provide amusement for whatever primitive heathen deity rules this island.  But first, he has a little diversion for me: he wants me to come and visit a facility known as the Dimensional Research Lab, back in Heahea City. “If this is your way of recruiting me to some wild goose chase of a research project that’s going to get me killed in a ridiculous sci-fi laser explosion, Kukui, I swear to Arceus…” “No, of course not!” he protests.  “At the very worst you’ll be trapped in an alien nightmare dimension with no hope of ever returning home!  It’ll be no worse than being hit simultaneously with Mean Look, Trick Room, Shadow Force, and Dark Void.”  I stare at him in silence for a solid thirty seconds. “Eh. Good enough.” 

Lillie is already at the lab when I get there, trying to teach Nebby to use Splash, of all things.  I see right through her (admittedly clever) deception, of course.  When your real goal is for your Pokémon to lay waste to a region with the most powerful move of all – Explosion – what better way of avoiding suspicion than by pretending to focus on the weakest move of all?  I’m wise to your schemes, terrorist girl.  I give her a suspicious leer, causing her to squeak in feigned shock, and we enter the lab together.  The Dimensional Research Lab is run by one Professor Burnet, who happens to be Professor Kukui’s wife (GOD DAMN IT HE’S STRAIGHT).  She is also a friend of Lillie, having… randomly discovered her and Nebby lying unconscious on a beach three months ago.  This was apparently not a significant red flag to anyone involved. Lillie claims that she had been looking for Burnet anyway, and had simply “gotten lost” on the beach before collapsing from exhaustion.  How convenient, that circumstances should align so neatly for her to gain the sympathy and enter the confidence of the very professors she had been seeking.  I squint at Lillie again, mouth the words “I’m onto you,” and start scribbling in a notebook.  She returns a look of utter bewilderment and pulls down the brim of her hat to cover her face.  More importantly, returning to the conversation at hand, Burnet is a physicist who has dedicated much of her career to the study of strange phenomena designated “ultra wormholes.”  These are, as far as I can glean, mysterious wibbly-wobbly spacey-wacey holes in reality that occasionally appear in the sky over Alola and randomly spit out powerful demon-Pokémon to terrorise the region.

…this, I point out to nobody in particular, is yet another thing that the tourism brochures mysteriously failed to mention.

Professor Burnet is evasive when I try to ask her whether she’s actually seen a wormhole, or one of these “ultra beasts,” but notes that several known Pokémon possess power over dimensions, and claims that the sensitive equipment in her lab should be able to detect the wormholes. She also explains that the four guardian deities of Alola fought against the demonic invaders in ancient times to protect their region… which suddenly makes me very nervous that Tapu Koko’s plans to ruin my holiday may go way beyond just making me fight Pokémon battles for its amusement.

Of course, the instant I leave the lab, a gigantic glowing rift in space appears briefly in the sky, as if to taunt me, before closing up a few moments later. I’m… totally going to get drafted into a war between dimensions, aren’t I?

Whatever. Not my problem.  I’m just going to get on with this trial nonsense and pretend I didn’t see th- oh, gods, what if Nebby is the vanguard of the demonic invasion???  No! Nope.  I’m not thinking about that.  Just… go find Olivia.

Kahuna Olivia lives in Konikoni City, on Akala Island’s southwest coast.  To get there, I have to travel through Alola’s take on the Diglett’s Cave, a tunnel system inhabited by Zubat and Alolan Steel Diglett.  Olivia herself is actually there when I arrive, but is apparently too busy for me and requests that I meet her at her shop in Konikoni.  What is she busy with?  Well… apparently working with some of those Aether Foundation conservationists. The Foundation rents space in an office building in Heahea City, next to Professor Burnet’s lab (and right above Game Freak’s Alola branch), though as far as I can tell they don’t actually do anything there.  Their presence in the tunnels is a response to some recent unusual Diglett activity that has been making the area dangerous for travellers and miners, which they blame on Team Skull’s shenanigans.  Well, their story checks out – further into the caves, I encounter two Team Skull grunts I don’t recognise, and battle them in tandem with Hau, who is gradually becoming almost respectable as a trainer.  That was simple enough… almost weirdly so.  Team Skull are such buffoons, and I’m not even sure what they were trying to accomplish by disturbing the Diglett. Could there be some greater design behind their nonsense…?

…nah, I’m just being paranoid.  Just because their name starts with “Team” doesn’t mean they’re going to open a dozen of these wormholes and bring about the apocalypse.

Once on the other side of the tunnel, I take a brief look around Konikoni City. It’s a colourful city with heavily Japanese-influenced architecture.  Like most big Alolan cities, it’s a hub for tourism, with markets that sell rare incenses, TMs and clothing.  Down by the cape, there’s a lighthouse, but I can’t access it (yet?), as well as a woman who not only offers to teach my Pikachu Volt Tackle, but even gives me a special Z-Crystal.  I thought these things were sacred relics!  The Pikanium-Z, when its power is unleashed by the absolute stupidest dance I have yet been taught, transforms Volt Tackle into a truly devastating super-move… Catastropika. Catastropika?  Really?  That’s the name we’re going with here, Alola?  Not, like… Pikalamity, or Pikataclysm, or just Pi-Kaboom? Seriously, the translators dropped the ball on this $#!t. Whatever.  Apparently the rules for Z-moves are a little different to what the previous crystals had led me to believe – some of them are related, like Mega Stones, to just one species, or even just one move used by that species. Then there’s Olivia’s own shop. Olivia, a Rock Pokémon specialist, sells evolutionary stones and fossils.  Contrary to her earlier promise, she’s not there, but has left her Probopass to run the shop (because… why not?) and given it a message, telling me to join her at the nearby Ruins of Life, the home of the guardian Tapu Lele. 

Ohhhhh no. No.  I’ve already got one of these ‘guardians’ lording it over me and telling me what to do, just because it… like… I don’t know, saved my life or whatever.  The last thing I need is Tapu Lele arbitrarily deciding to offer me “guidance,” or punish me for trespassing, or turn me into an attractive paperweight, or-

Ugggggggh, but on the other hand, I can totally see a couple of members of Team Skull heading for the Ruins of Life through that creepy cemetery outside town. If Olivia’s gone out there to fight them, or they’ve gone out there to attack her… well, then frankly that’s her problem, right? …right? “Zzzzzt! I dunno, boss!” the Rotomdex interjects. “Sure seemzzzz like it’d be a dick move not to at least go check it out!” “No one asked you, you cursed calculator-watch,” I mutter, but decide to go anyway.  If Olivia… somehow can’t handle those idiots, it’s bound to be my fault, one way or another. 

I do my best to pick my way respectfully through the cemetery on Memorial Hill, skirting carefully around each grave.  As I reach the other side, I spot the two Team Skull grunts – it’s “B” again, with another of his idiot friends.  But it’s not just them – there’s a Slowpoke with them, and they’re arguing with an Aether Foundation worker.  Beside her is a green-haired man with huge yellow-green glasses and a white lab coat, regarding the situation with strange detachment.  As I approach, I hear the Foundation worker shouting. “Team Skull!  Give back that Pokémon!”  The second grunt flicks a few random gang signs in her direction as he shouts his response. “Don’t give me trouble!  I’ll reduce you to rubble!” “Mmm, trouble/rubble; there’s an original one,” I interrupt, sidling up between the Aether Foundation worker and the man in the glasses.  “You know, I bet you’re the first in all the history of the English language to rhyme those two.”  I shoot the young woman a glance, and stage-whisper to her “Sarcastic enough? D’you think they’ll get it?”  She only stares at me, dumbfounded, so I shrug and turn back to the Team Skull grunts.  “Sorry, am I interrupting something?  You weren’t about to kidnap this Pokémon, were you?”  I feign a wide-eyed gasp.  “Tsk, tsk, tsk… You know, I really thought we were getting somewhere, boys, I honestly did.”  The second grunt just looks bewildered (I’m not totally sure whether I’ve met him before), but B looks like smoke is about to start pouring out of his ears.  I give him my most practiced look of sincere disappointment.  “Come on; I thought we were moving past this.  Can’t you let this one go?  For me?” I smile at him. “But- wh- you- NO!” he splutters.  “We’re gonna sell this Pokémon to get rich, and we won’t make no bones about it!  If you want it back, y- you- you’re gonna have to take it!”  I sigh and reach for a Pokéball… until the other grunt abruptly gets a look of comprehension and elbows B in the side. “Yo, homie?” he says quietly.  “This ain’t…? Is it?”  B turns to him and continues spluttering. “Wh-what you talkin’bout, dawg?” “Look, you don’t gotta let nobody step to you when your Team Skull brothers are around, ‘specially not this fool!  Take a chill pill, homie; I got your back!”  B’s gaze flicks back and forth between me and the other grunt for several seconds, then they both turn their backs to me and start arguing.  The Aether Foundation woman gives me a quizzical look, as though to ask for an explanation.  I shrug at her, but then inspiration strikes.  I hold a finger to my lips to signal for quiet, then crouch low and try to make eye contact with the Slowpoke.  It looks directly at me… then yawns and looks away.  I snap my fingers, glancing at the grunts to make sure they haven’t noticed, and the Slowpoke – with all the urgency of cold treacle – turns its stupid dopey face towards me.  I jab a finger at it and start beckoning it towards me.  A full ten seconds later, it gives a decisive nod, turns around, and begins walking directly away from me.  I roll my eyes, then glance around, grab a convenient rock, take careful aim, and throw it at the Slowpoke, striking it on the back of the head.  It turns around to face me again.  I jab my finger at it again, then point firmly at the ground beneath my feet and start beckoning once more.  This time, the blasted thing apparently gets the message and starts crawling steadily towards me.  I glance up again.  The Team Skull grunts are still deep in an animated argument about… something.  It’s definitely turning out worse for B, who is holding one hand to his face and cringing for some reason.  About a minute later, the Slowpoke reaches me.  I silently make a coo-ing face at it, and pat it gently on the head, giving a thumbs-up to the Aether Foundation girl with my other hand. “Sloooooooooooow…” the Slowpoke says, appreciatively.  This, unfortunately, gets the attention of the grunts again, who spin around to face me. “Right!” I say decisively, standing up straight and clapping my hands together. “I’m sure we all have other business to attend to today, so why don’t we all just-” but the second grunt is having none of that. “You ready?” he yells at me, grabbing a Pokéball from his belt.  “Cuz I was born ready, yo!” “Well…” I sigh, “worth a try.”  I send out my own (infinitely more responsive) Slowpoke… which turns out to be a mistake when his Pokémon is revealed as a Dark Raticate, forcing a hasty switch to my Trumbeak.  From there, though, Rock Smash makes short work of it. “That loss was pathetic!  Your moves were so kinetic!” the grunt declares, stunned.  B grumbles something under his breath, then shakes his head and shouts at me. “We don’t need that Pokémon anyway!  Take it then! Good luck and good riddance!” Both of them flee the scene.  The Aether Foundation worker breathes a sigh of relief and leans down to pat the Slowpoke. “Phew… thanks, kid.  I could’ve been in real trouble there…” “Now, now,” her companion admonishes her, speaking for the first time, “stand firm! Think of what the president would say!” “That’s what you say, Chief!  But you don’t lift a finger!” “Why, I am the Aether Foundation’s last line of defence!”  I frown at this comment, carefully scrutinising for any signs of particular competence, but he doesn’t seem to notice.  “What would become of the Foundation if something were to happen to me now?”  He tut-tuts her, then turns to me.  “You are a trial-goer aren’t you?  You’re a splendid trainer!  I’m deeply impressed!  I’d like to reward you by showing you something truly astounding.  Once you have finished your Grand Trial, come to Hano Grand Resort and I will take you to see a wondrous place.”  I accept his invitation with a shrug.  Can’t be any worse than whatever the Kahunas and the Guardians will want me to do next.

I continue along the path to the Ruins of Life, past a truly spectacular cliff side and up towards the ruins’ great stone gate.  Someone is standing in the path… a young woman… but as I get close, it becomes obvious that it’s not Olivia.  She has waist-length pink and yellow hair, black clothes, and… an unmistakeable Team Skull necklace, as well as the Team Skull logo tattooed in pink on her bare midriff.  Looks like I’m starting to attract all the wrong kinds of attention from these guys. I briefly consider trying to avoid her, but she’s clearly seen me first, and looks like she was waiting for me. “So…” she says, confidently strolling up to me.  “You’re the one Gladion was talking about?  Hmph.  You don’t look like anything special to me.” “Well… looks can be deceiving, right?”  I try to flash a confident grin back, but there’s something a tad unsettling about her. “…uh… is this about the Slowpoke, or…?” She looks me sternly in the eye. “I’m Plumeria.  I help keep Team Skull together.  I’m like a big sister to all those numskulls.”  Her expression softens a little.  “Look… you have realised what idiots all these guys are, right?” she asks. “Um. I- I guess?” I reply.  Obviously I have, but I’m a little taken aback by her frankness. “But… don’t you think some of those dummies are cute in their dumbness?  You know what I mean… right?”  Plumeria gives me a strange look that is somehow equal parts conspiratorial, teasing… and deadly threatening. “Um. No.  No!  I have no idea what you’re talking about!  What are you even implying here?  Who said anyone was cute?  Not me, that’s for sure.”  Plumeria glares at me coldly. “Is that so, punk?  Well, I gotta tell you – you picking on my cute, dumb brothers and sisters is really annoying me!”  She grabs a Pokéball and summons a Golbat.  Oh, thank Arceus, a problem I know how to deal with!  My Dartrix is a real champ in this fight, thanks to the affection bonuses we’re starting to accumulate; he dodges a Confuse Ray and an Air Cutter, and shakes off some nasty poison, to secure a win against the Golbat, and seriously injure the Salandit that Plumeria sends out in its place. Salandit finishes my Dartrix with Flame Burst, but its own weak physical defences leave it easy prey for my Trumbeak. Plumeria recalls her Pokémon, steps back, and looks me over for a second.  Even though I just beat her, her gaze is… still kind of chilling. “Hmph. You’re pretty strong,” she says. “I’ll give you that.  But mess with anyone in Team Skull again… in any way… and I’ll show you how serious I can get.” Without waiting for a response, she spins around on her heel and stalks off. “I’m not messing with anyone anywhere!” I call out after her.  “It’s not like I have a… a… a stupid ‘thing’ for one of your dumb little brothers.  Uh.  Or sisters.  Could be a sister; you don’t know me; you don’t know my life.  I mean, it- it’s not, because it’s no one, but- but you don’t know!”  Plumeria is long gone by this point, of course, but that’s no reason to let her get the last word.

Finally, I reach the entrance to the Ruins of Life, with Lillie suddenly right behind me, escorted by Professor Burnet.  Lillie is apparently here at Nebby’s behest, and doesn’t know much more than that.  Before I can interrogate either of them, though, Kahuna Olivia emerges from the ruins. She apologises for her earlier absence by explaining that Tapu Lele had summoned her to help “clean up” the ruins (wait… so the Kahunas have to do household chores for the guardian deities?  Okay, maybe I’m not really getting the short end of the stick after all). With minimal preliminaries, Olivia accepts my challenge… and promptly wrecks my $#!t.

I never intended my current team to be in any sense permanent – Raticate’s going to go at some point, probably Trumbeak too once I’ve finished exploring its evolution, and I’m not 100% on Pikachu or Slowpoke either – but even so, I have to admit it was a slight oversight to have three Pokémon with Rock weaknesses and none with a Rock resistance.

My Dartrix takes out Olivia’s first Pokémon, a Nosepass, without immense difficulty (though, again, a few affection bonuses help to seal the deal).  Then… in comes her partner Pokémon, Lycanroc, a creepy-looking red-and-white werewolf Pokémon that I can only assume is the evolved form of Rockruff.  Its powerful Rock Throw attack immediately knocks out my Dartrix and my Salandit, then as soon as I try to bring its defences down with Trumbeak’s Rock Smash, Olivia unleashes its Z-move: Continental Crush, which as far as I can tell is a move that works by dropping Australia on you. My poor Slowpoke flinches under Lycanroc’s Bite and doesn’t even get a chance to hit back with Scald.  Finally, my Raticate manages to bring it down with Crunch.  Enduring what would have been a finishing blow from Olivia’s final Pokémon, a Boldore, Raticate manages to do just enough damage before fainting to bring it within striking distance for my last Pokémon, Pikachu, to finish it off. 

Phew.  Okay.  Lesson learned.  No more underestimating Rock-types.  Especially weird, gangly werewolf Rock-types.

…what, you didn’t think I was actually going to lose that one, did you?  Listen, “wrecks my $#!t” is very much a relative term here.  Sure, it looked bad for a little while but I’m a former Champion (in multiple regions, if you count my… past lives, or… whatever… look, I try not to think about it too hard), and Olivia is, like, the head shaman of some backwards middle-of-nowhere hick island who does chores for a bird.  Of course I beat her; I’m amazing.  Give me some credit here.

Olivia rewards me with her Z-crystal – the Rockium-Z (did the Alolans listen to these names at all while they were picking them…?) – and sends me packing just as Hau arrives for his own Grand Trial. Hau has apparently received the same invitation from the Aether Foundation as I did, and is eager to get his trial out of the way so we can go and have a look.  Lillie is decidedly less enthusiastic, presumably since she knows the Aether Foundation is hot on her trail, and makes a stammering excuse. Well, whatever.  Sooner or later, Lillie… you can’t run forever.

Ridiculous quote log:

“Yo! I’m a herb seller!  I’m self-taught, but I sell good quality herbs!” Why does everyone in this region try to get me to do f#$%ing drugs!?

“There’s a faint smell of spices, sauces, and other fragrant things…” …okay maybe this is the time to admit that I… kiiiiiiinda have a thing for smelling other people’s beds?  Uh, I- I mean, it’s totally not a sex thing, not even a little bit; just, uh… if I come across someone’s bed, I like to… give it a good long sniff before I move past it.  Lots of people do it, probably.  It helps me feel closer to- wait, damn it, no, that still sounds weird.  That is, uh… I mean, if they wanted to sniff my bed I would totally let them, and- okay that sounds even worse.  Can we… just forget I said anything?

The team: 

Tane the Dartrix Male, Timid nature, Overgrow ability Level 28 Tackle, Razor Leaf, Astonish, Pluck 

Rhea the Trumbeak Female, Lax nature, Keen Eye ability Level 27 Pluck, Roost, Fury Attack, Rock Smash 

Ashley the Pikachu Female, Timid nature, Static ability Level 27 Volt Tackle, Hidden Power (Ice), Nasty Plot, Thunder Wave 

Hypatia the Slowpoke Female, Hardy nature, Own Tempo ability Level 27 Confusion, Yawn, Headbutt, Scald 

Soot the Raticate Female, Hardy nature, Hustle ability Level 27 Crunch, Tail Whip, Hyper Fang, Focus Energy 

Joanna the Salandit Female, Timid nature, Corrosion ability Level 27 Flame Burst, Sweet Scent, Dragon Rage, Smog

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

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I am 19 and I would like to find out how much insurance would be for a motorcycle 125cc. What about a Honda CBR 125 insurance. I would be a beginner. From dublin ireland If anyone could recommend a 125cc that would have cheap insurance? Thanks

What should I be looking for in coverage with car insurance?

I'm 22, just graduated from college and am just about to get my car put in my name and on my own insurance (was paying my parents for car insurance in my dads name before). I am curious on what exactly I should be looking for as far as deductibles and liabilities go to get a cheaper-ish rate, but yet still decent coverage? I was paying $70 a month on my parents insurance, I know I won't get that good of rate, but am wondering what decent coverage would be for a decently priced monthly rate...I was told to get a $500 deductible for collision? My car is a 1997 Honda Accord, great condition, around 130,000 miles, and I got one ticket in 2007. Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!""

Do police check with your car insurance to make sure it's valid when you're pulled over?

I've always been curious as to if this would work, but in the past a few friends of mine had bought insurance, paid up to date for 6 months, canceled two weeks later, gotten most of their money back and obtained a proof of insurance that said they were paid for the next six months. They claim that if they were to get pulled over, they could continue to use this proof of insurance just as if they were actually still driving legal. Of course this could backfire on them in obvious ways if they were to actually get in an accident, but as far as getting pulled over, would this actually stop them from getting a ticket for no insurance ? Can and do the police verify with your insurance company over their computers while you are pulled over? Thanks!""

Is my insurance going to pay? california?

I have a car thats fully covered by Murcury. I lent my car to my boyfriend (not knowing he didnt have a current DL), he was picking something up for me and coming home when he got into an accident. He was found to be at fault and it involved 3 other cars. I am freaking out because we do not have the extra cash to pay out of pocket. will my insurance pay? I know my deductable will go up and so will my rate. I am not worried about that right now. I just want to know if he will be covered because he(even though he has no DL) was driving my fully covered car. CALIFORNIA ONLY""

Auto insurance cost for 2007 toyota camry?

Auto insurance cost for 2007 toyota camry?

What is the best Car insurance?

I'm a 16 year old student and i've noticed that car insurance is very expensive. Whats the cheapest insurance i can get, that covers a lot of situations?""

Insurance on a 69 camaro?

How much will it cost a month for insurance on a 69 camaro and i live in florida and im 16

Cheapest car insurance?

I'm fifteen, about to get my permit. But my parents are worried about the insurance cost when I get my license. What's the cheapest insurance? Also, I'm hearing impaired so would that effect the cost? I don't need a specially adapted car or anything. Would the insurance company knowing I'm hearing impaired help cover any fender-benders I may get in from not hearing something? Thanks for any info. Olivia""

Where can i find individual health insurance?

Looking out for individual health insurance plans in India

Hey how much will car insurance be when i start driving at 16?

ok heres the thing,ill be 16 years old when i get my dl,our insurance is mercury,and i am gonna drive a 1991 civic hatchback,or a 1992 integra any clues o how much per month""

How do you get cheap car insurance for an 18yo?

I need to find cheap car insurance for an 18yo female who owns outright an $11000.00 car. Any suggestions?

What is the best car insurance company for a 16 year old?

I'll be turning 16 next year and i want to get a headstart on what the best car insurance is for a 16 year old male in New York

""I am buying a used innova car, will the car insurance be in my name?

The car is having a loan of Rs 350000/- & i am planing to take over the loan. But if any thing happens to the car in the loan period will the insurance company pay to me or the owner who has made the insurance.

How much should I ask for the compensation from insurance?

I had a car accident and the fault side's insurance compay paid for body repair ( abuot $960 in their recommanded bodyshop ) and also the rental (my car is still in bodyshop). I am not sure if I need to ask some compensations for diminished value of my car and also missed work hour on dealing with the accident. I never done this before. My car is 1997 Toyata Collora and the private value from KBB is $3185 (for good condition), some people said the compensation for diminished value could be 40% of the KBB private value, which to me is 3185 x 0.4 = $1274. They are going to replace the right fender, repair and repaint the passenger side door. So I want to know if I ask for $1274 from insurance is fair. I hope anyone can give me some advises on how to deal with this. Thank you!""

""Does the car title have to be transferred to your name before you get insurance, or insurance then title?""

in illinois.... ....a car was given to a friend. he needs to get insurance. does the title need to be transferred first? Also just moved to another state, so does the insurance need to come from the state the title was transferred in""

Affordable term life insurance quote?

What good is affordable term life insurance?

Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?

Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.

What are best and/or most affordable insurance companies?

In Oregon. And does anyone know the minimum if I am 21 and have had one accident? For 1996 Ford Taurus car Thanks

Will my insurance company repo my totaled car if I'm still making payments?

April 2011 my car suffered enough hail damage to become totaled. I owe more on my loan then my insurance company is giving me, and would need $4500 to buy it salvaged. I can not afford to buy a new car and this one still runs perfectly fine (it was all cosmetic damage). I have been paying on my insurance and my car loan and have not been called regarding my choice to keep or sell my car in a very long time. My insurance policy has even been renewed for another year with no changes to my policy. I see no reason they would come and take it and not just let me finish paying my car. The problem is now my wife (who is fresh out of college with tons of debt and lowered my credit score) wants me to take out a personal loan and buy the salvaged title to make sure they won't repo it. My current loan has all the interest paid off the new loan would have much worse interest rates.""

No insurance. Can I get temporary insurance so I can have surgery on my wrist?

Hello thank you for viewing my question and I appreciate any help.. I fractured my wrist a few years ago and never went to the doctor until recently. The doctor told me that my wrist was screwed up and I need surgery, but I don't have insurance and was paying him cash unfortunately He told me surgery would be like $15,000 and I think he was telling me that I can't just go get insurance now, because there is an injury on file so they won't let me. My sister who is a nurse told me to get temporary insuracne just to get it fixed, and she said she didn't think it would matter that the injury is on file. Does anyone know if I am able to get insurance at an affordable rate to get fixed or did I screw up by visiting the doctor already? Thank you very much""

How much would you estimate the annual cost of living to be in central New Jersey?

This would be for a simple lifestyle- one bedroom apartment, utilities, food, clothing, phone, internet, cable, basic car, car insurance, gas, car maintenance, computer, pet, gifts, and a one-week basic vacation. You can provide an estimate both with, and without, a basic health insurance plan premium. I am just trying to figure out about how much it would cost to live in this area. Thank you for your advice.""

How much would insurance cost me if I am a 16 year old male driving a 2007 subaru impreza wrx?

I live in a small Colorado town....

Is Mercury Insurance good?

cause i know its really cheap

Full Coverage Insurance ripping me off ?

I got a wreckless driving dui dropdown in ohio live in kentucky in my Nissan 350z was paying $70 a month for full coverage under my parents plan... Now 2 years later after dealing with a bunch of bullshit driving a pos car with just liability for $100 a month in insurance for 2 years I finally have enough to buy a 08 nissan altima and I checked what full coverage would be and they told me $300 full coverage cheapest so I gave a few different cars and still the same price....Does it make since if my car payment is only $220 a month why in the hell would anyone pay more for insurance..?? & before you start saying something like a troll would I live in the country there is no bus stops or anything so I need a vehicle to get to work and back at this point the insurance cost to much for me to even afford when you have a apartment on ur own and only making $13/hour full time America doesn't make a god danm bit of since is this what the world is coming poverty P.S I hope i don't hit anyone without insurance....if only insurance was affordable.

Question about car insurance?

I have divorces parents. one lives in philly and one lives in collegeville. I'm 18 and I'm shopping for car insurance and obviously it would be cheaper to be on my dads in collegeville. I live with him part time, so if i changed my state address to his, would I be able to go on it?""

Is there a published list of average car insurance rates for all insurers?

Is there a published list where all auto insurers report their average rates? Basically a comparison chart or similar type information? If not, are insurers required to list their average rates somewhere? Basically I'm trying to compile a list of insurance rates, hopefully based on the different criteria used by the insurance companies themselves. I'm trying to find a way other than calling each individual insurer to get a ballpark figure on their rates for different types of drivers.""

Finding out cost of a car insurance claim - do i have to include this?

Im looking for insurance for a new car. My bf had an accident in our last car and i was wondering if there is a way you can find out how much we claimed in total? As alot of insurance companies want to know this.

""Cheapest car insurance, help!? (UK)?""

im 17, 18 soon. (female) i haven't passed my test yet but im looking for car insurance for when i do... but everything im finding is like 2 grand plus and i cant afford that! all im looking for is a small 2001 corsa... i dont mind whether its fully comp or not, i just want it to be cheaper than that! does anyone have any tips? ive been on go compare and all the comparison ones but its still like 2500.. even with my parents insured aswell! any advice?""

Can I drive a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance?

I want to purchase a 1966 Chevrolet Impala and I found one in my area for a really good price. My mom's boyfriend knows how to work on older cars so repairs and labor costs wouldn't be an issue (unless it'd be something he can't do with his hands like taking the engine out or something) and I am a senior in high school and live about a mile from my school (I know it's not far, but walking through inclement weather or on slippery sidewalks is a hassle sometimes). Can I use a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance or would I have to insure it with regular car insurance?""

Driver doesn't have license or insurance?

My fiance sister is 19 & keeps taken their mom's car with total permission. She has a permit but not a license or insurance. What would/could she be charged with if she was pulled over or in an accident. Could his mom get in trouble too? I thought his mom had to press Grand theft auto charges for the insurance company to fix/replace the car. What happens with Grand theft auto charges?

How much is car insurance for a new driver that will be driving a used car? in IL?

the car is already payed for, and i will need to be paying for insurance for a 16yr old, how much is it per month/yr?""

6 month or Year car insurance?

Which one of these is more desirable? Seems like the year car insurance premium is higher than the 6 month. Also, how do you cancel a policy and get a policy with a new insurer without hurting your credit?""

Is there a free health insurance in usa? arizona?

Is there a free health insurance in usa? arizona?

How much will my car insurance go up after my first ticket?

I'm 19 and live in VA and got my first speeding ticket tonight (77 in a 60). I've never been in an accident or anything before, but I was just wondering if anyone had any idea about how much my insurance rate will go up? and will going to court/driving school affect what happens with the insurance rate, because otherwise i was just going to pay it online.. thaaaanks!""

Car insurance ( diabetes )?

after i get a quote online when i proceed to pay will the insurers phone me or will i after phone them as i have a 3 year medical licence and i need to let them know off my medical condition ( diabetes insulin dependant ) first time getting insurance so any info would be great

Wich car will cost more?

wich car will cost more in insurance? im a 16 year old boy with a3.0. i dont need exact prices just wich costs more. 2004 mustang v6 or 2004 silverado 1500 access cab 5.3 litre v8. thank you

Car insurance help for a 17 year old first year driver?

I'm looking to spend 3000/4000 pounds on either a Golf 2006 model, ford focus, audi a3 2006 model or a bmw 1 series. How much am i looking at for the annual insurance for anyway of these cars being a first year driver?""

Is there a car insurance company which specialises in please answer?

stupid question at this moment in time i think with car insurance company's not insuring young drivers but is there a company which specialises in insuring young drivers on nice cars or just specialises in insuring nice cars thanks ??

Who is a good auto insurance company for active duty military members changing addresses often?

insurance companies who cover multiple states

Does anyone know how much Sr 22 car insurance can cost?

Does anyone know how much Sr 22 car insurance can cost?

""What happens if you have health insurance through your job, then have to get new health insurance?""

If you have health insurance with your employer then quit, how can you get new health insurance with your new employer because aren't they going to see all your pre-existing history from your old insurance company?""

How can I help my girlfriend get cheaper insurance? She is 20 years old.?

My girlfriend just got a new Cobalt lt. The insurance is in her fathers name, and she is listed as a driver. The car is in her name. Her father has a good driving record, yet the insurance is around $250 a month! Please help, is there anything I can do to get her insurance cheaper?""

Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?

Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.

How much would car insurance be for an 18 year old male?

I currently am under my mom's car insurance and I have a 2000 Ford Focus. I plan on trading that in for a 2012 Ford Focus, and I was just wondering how much it would cost for me to insure that car. My monthly insurance payments aren't that expensive. I just don't want to be paying more than I can afford.""

Annoying dilemma about factoring age into car insurance rates?

Okay this is annoying me. My car insurance policy is up for renewal very soon. It is a 6-mo policy. I am currently 24 yrs old but turning 25 literally 7 days after my policy renews. As you might know, generally car insurance rates decrease when you turn 25, because 25 is the age threshold that is no longer considered to be a high risk age group. However, my car insurance company insists on rating my entire 6-mo policy as a 24-yr-old...which means that for literally 96.2% of my policy period, I will be 25 yrs old but paying the higher rates of a 24-yr-old. This does not make me feel happy or appreciated. >:( So I was wondering...what would you do? Should I switch insurance companies shortly after turning 25 so that I can get a better rate, and then perhaps switch back to my old company sometime shortly later? Is there a way I can negotiate with a manager so that he/she will re-rate me shortly after my 25th birthday? Thanks for the feedback.""

Is insurance required in north carolina?

if one had a car registered in georgia, he decided to pass through NORTH CAROLINA, the insurance expired, he gets pulled over. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?""

Home owner insurance in florida?

I need to by home owner insurance in florida at a reasonable price. and I need insuracnce this month

What is the Average Cost for Health Insurance?

I want to buy health insurance? What is the average cost for health insurance? Thank you.

""50 in a 40, first ticket ever. Insurance?""

I got a ticket for going 50 in a 40 tonight. My gas was PASSED E, and I was turning into the gas station. I realize that doesn't do anything for my case. I'm 17. I've never been in a wreck, never been pulled over. The cop (who is a friend's dad) said that I go to court Oct 1 and if I'm eligible for Defensive Driving I can take it, and it wont go on my driving record. Question is, does this affect my insurance rate at all? I pay my own insurance. I have State Farm.""

Is Circumcision covered by health insurance?

Hello i'm 17 years old and i live in Florida. And i'm probably going to get circumcised soon because i have phimosis. I'm wondering if health insurance covers it because i ...show more

Get an insurance on a second car?

Hi all, i am italian and i have a car insurance in my name since 10 years with no claims.I am living in Ireland now and i bought a car and when i asked for the insurance 3 different companies told me that if i want to use my no claim bonus on my irish car,i should cancel my italian insurance.But is this legal?I mean...i need to have a car insurance in Italy,i come back home often.Plus,in italy if you buy a second car you can use the bonus also in the second insurance.But,i am not very familiar with irish law,could you please help me? Thanks Valentina""

Does anyone know the car insurance laws in new york state?

Ok. I am seventeen years old and i want to get my drivers liscense but my parents wont let me because they wont pay for my car insurance. Does anyone know the laws for underage drivers for car insurance? I would be driving one of their cars and i wouldnt have one of my own. If you can site a source, it'd be great cause then i could show it to them. thanks.""

Young driver trying to get insurance. Need help.?

I have been looking for a reasonable quote for at least a month now and cannot get anything better then 4000. I am 17 and passed my test in august. The reason insurance is so high for me is because of where I live. I know this because insurance company's have said that they cannot insure me because of where I live and if I change my address when trying to get a quote if I use my Nan's address instead of mine it goes from 400- to 1600. Is it illegal to have my insurance under my Nan's house? Is there anything I can do please help.

Car insurance price for a Civic?

I am a 18 year old boy and I want to purchase a Honda Civic EX 4-door w/ a manual transmission. I am looking at a 2000-2005 or a 2006-2009 model. Could anybody give me an estimate of how much insurance is monthly? Thanks

Is landlord responsible for pool insurance?

We signed a lease that required us to take out insurance for $ 500,000 if we used the pool and planned on having guests use the pool also . They also wanted the insurance to cover themselves . When speaking to our insurer, USAA, they said our renters insurance , which included $100,000 liability, would cover us having anyone besides us use the pool or being on our property in general . The landlord was responsible for having insurance for the pool and the house to protect themselves and they told us we were not responsible for paying for insurance for the landlord . The property was in Norfolk VA . We just wanted to know if he landlord was trying to get us to pay for their share of insurance when it wasn't our responsibility and if we were right to have stuck with USAA advice .""

Does the condition of the car affect car insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

Where is there a cheap car insurance place here in Dallas 75248.?

I moved back to Dallas near addison, and I am looking for a place to get cheap libitily insurance under 100. 60 would be ok. Any suggestions?""

""With the on going crisis, is it still possible to get cheap auto insurance in california?""

i know people who've gotten their fingers burnt, so .........""

Car insurance for a classic triumph? Rough idea?

I've just turned 17 and am well on my way to getting a license I was wondering for a 17/18 year old male how much would insurance per month/per year for a 1960-1975 triumph spitfire I am desperate to have it as a first car and I can afford one at 3000-4000 at the moment I was just wondering how much the insurance on it would be it is such a beautiful car can't wait to get one. I tried getting quotes from compare the market but it was all very complex and I didn't really understand most of it. Any info would be much appreciated THANKS!!!

How much is insurance for a honda rebel on a 15 in a half year old boy in missouri?

How much is insurance for a honda rebel on a 15 in a half year old boy in missouri?

""I got into a car accident with my new car before i could get insurance, help?""

I just recently bought a 66 mustang from a private seller. My mechanic took a look at it and said it was good. I went to go pick up the car from the seller, and while driving home, 15 minutes into my drive the breaks gave out. I ended up hitting a UPS truck. My passenger and i ended up going to the hospital for injuries. I did not have insurance since i was just going to drive the car home and not drive it until i got full coverage on it. The previous owner still has insurance on the car, and i have not been to the dmv to have the title officially signed over. I need help; legal advice would be great.""

Can an insurance company make money on the Ryan plan?

and how? Ryan's plan says that insurance companies have to charge all old people of the same age, the same rate, sick or not... and they can't drop anyone... who would line up to provide this service that would seem to have a neagive profit margin from the get-go? unless they charged everyone 100k a year? I mean this has to cover all the ederly with cancer and all their treatments? right?""

How much is the average car insurance in southwest VA?

Im 20 years old. Im moving somewhere in the southwest va area within the next month and was wondering how much the average car insurance will be

Why car insurance quotes go up late at night?

Just been look at car insurance for the last few days using comparison sites and I have been noticing the quotes go up and down by a few hundred pound depending on what time of day it is. Anyone know why this happens?

""If I report a cracked windshield and make a claim for a replacement, will my insurance rate go up?""

I'd like to get the windshield fixed, but I'm concerned the amount I save by having the insurance company pay for it will be less than the extra amount I might end up paying in increased fees. Should I just pay to replace it myself, avoid reporting it and not risk increased insurance payments?""

Car insurance In connecticut?

Im 18 and i just got my license about a month ago. I was talking to my dad about getting a car. and he said he was gonna give me my moms car which has new york plates on it for me to drive ( we use to live in ny and the plates are from there) and hes getting my mom a new car. i was talking to him about insurance and he said that i would be driving on his name. Hes not adding me to the insurance though cause he says its to much money. He told me that all i have to do is drive careful and not get into a accident.im still worried though cause an accident can happen regardless if Im careful or not. is this Legal ? to not be added to my dads insurance?

""I'm a independent freelancer, what can I do to get affordable health insurance?""

I live (rent an apartment) in Pittsburgh, PA. I do not require any life sustaining medication- what health care options are available to me and how do I go about getting it?""

Which of the following is legal proof for insurance. ?

Which of the following is (are) legal proof of insurance: $35,000 cash deposit to the DMV DMV certificate of self-insurance Insurance Policy card from your insurance company All of the above Question 2 Which of the following statements is true: There is no minimum speed limit in California The maximum speed limit on undivided STATE highways is 65 mph You may exceed the posted speed limit to keep with the flow of traffic None of the above Question 3 Concerning right-of-way at a four-way stop, which of the following is true: The person to the right has right-of-way The person to the left must yield right-of-way Police and Federal vehicles have right-of-way Traffic on the major road has right-of-way Question 4 California recommends how large of a following distance, at speeds below 40 mph: 7 seconds 3 seconds 2 car lengths 100 feet Question 5 A blind intersection is one where: You cant see it because of shrubbery or parked cars You cant see traffic for 100 feet in either direction, when within 100 feet of it A special crossing area for blind persons None of the above Question 6 A turn signal: Is required at least 100 feet before the turn Is not required from a turn only lane Is not required when turning into your own driveway All of the above Question 7 In California, a right turn: Must begin AND end in the right-most driving lane Cannot be made if opposing traffic is turning left Can be made on a red light only after making a complete stop behind the white line or crosswalk All of the above Question 8 Regarding bike lanes: You may drive in it up to 200 feet prior to making a turn Parking is legal, unless signed otherwise May be used by pedestrians when no sidewalk is available All of the above Question 9 A protected left turn is: When a police officer directs you to make it A green arrow pointing to the left When turning left at a stop sign and it is your turn All of the above Question 10 Unless a sign prohibits it, a U-turn may be made: At any four-way stop From a center turn lane, when one is available Must start from the left-most driving lane All of the above Question 11 If you are involved in an accident, causing injury or death, you must report it: To the DMV within 24 days To the DMV within 24 hours To the CHP within 24 days To the CHP within 24 hours Question 12 You may not park: Within 25 feet of a fire hydrant Within 15 feet of a fire station driveway Within 5 feet of a sidewalk ramp for the disabled Within 5 feet of a crosswalk Question 13 The Basic Speed Law: Always keep up with the flow of traffic Never drive faster than the posted speed limits Never drive faster than it is safe for current conditions Never drive faster than 70 miles per hour. Question 14 A curb painted green means: Loading or unloading passengers only Parking for a limited time Loading or unloading freight Parking for a disabled person with a placard Question 15 A curb painted blue means: Loading or unloading passengers only Parking for a limited time Loading or unloading freight Parking for a disabled person with a placard Question 16 If your car has a sudden blowout: Be prepared for a sudden pull to the side of the blowout Do not brake unless it is an emergency Turn on your warning flashers immediately All of the above Question 17 A road is most slippery: As soon as the rain stops Within the first 5  10 minutes of raining About half-way through the rainstorm After 2 hours or more of continuous rain Question 18 Failure to stop at the scene of an accident you are involved in, can result in: 1 year in jail, $10,000.00 fine 4 years in jail, $10,000.00 fine if death or serious injury occur Mandatory 5 years imprisonment, if a subsequent offense All of the above Question 19 Which of these types of insurance are required by law: Collision Uninsured Motorist Liability Comprehensive Question 20 If you have insurance, but dont have your insurance card with you during a police stop: You have 24 hours to show it to CHP You have 24 hours to show it to DMV Your license can be suspended You can be fined $500.00 and your car can be impounded""

Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?

Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.

Question about auto insurance?

I'm 16 and have my license and my own truck that i am the primary driver on, but i'm also the secondary driver on my dads truck does that make my insurance cost more by being the secondary driver?""

What will happen to me if i can not provide proof of insurance in the state of California?

What are the laws regarding vehicle proof of insurance in the state of California?

What is the cheapest health insurance for low income people?

my kids father had a stroke two days ago and i am trying to help him find health insurance. he is having a hard time getting any insurance because he is unemployed and receives unemployment payments but they won't see him at the clinic because he has too many assets. He owns a trailer and has two cars. If any one can help i really would appreciate it. He also has high blood pressure, high colesterol, and diabetes. He had a stroke because he couldn't afford to buy his medications for his high blood pressure and colesterol.please help . i dont want anything bad to happen to him.""

What will have the cheapest insurance payment? 2003 escalade or a 2012 camry hybird?

It will be my first car which one is easier to afford and which one looks better

Am I going to be late on my car insurance?

My car insurance is due tomorrow. I ended up setting up a payment for it online today but the payment won't transfer until the 22nd. Will this be considered late for my insurance ...show more

Would insurance costs go down if more people had a license?

A lot of undocumented immigrants don't have a license but would them getting a license help the insurance costs go down? I need actual statistics/ proof. It's for a debate we are having at school. Your help is appreciated. If your opinion is otherwise then don't post it. I'm only looking for facts. Thank you.

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

""Which insurance company in Ottawa, ON has the cheapest rates for 17 male G2 drivers?""

Which insurance company in Ottawa, ON has the cheapest rates for 17 male G2 drivers?""

Question about auto insurance?

I've never had a car before so this is new for me. I don't have auto insurance yet and I'm going to check out a car today. In order to drive it home I will need auto insurance but I'm not sure if I'm getting the car yet. I already have my quotes set up and if I decide to get the car I can call and set it up right there but the policy doesn't go into effect until tomorrow. Can I still drive the car home?

Nissan Skyline insurance in USA?

Does anyone know of any companies that insure Nissan Skylines in the US? I'm looking to buy a 1990 gtst I found but I can not find insurance anywhere for it. Can anyone help me out?

Used Car Insurance/Registration?

I just recently got my license (which was long overdue) and now I'm looking into buying a car from Advantage Auto Sales. My question is regarding the insurance and registration for the car I'm going to be buying. Should I purchase insurance, then put the down payment on the car, and then go register it after I have it in my possession? I've already gotten an insurance quote for one particular car that I was looking it, but I did change my mind due to location issues, but I can't imagine that would change the price up too much considering the car I'm looking at is actually newer than the one I got the quote on. At any rate, what should be my order of operations? 1. Insurance 2. Car 3. Registration OR 1. Insurance 2. Registration 3. Car Sorry if I'm being confusing. I would like to get all of this handled in one swoop so I'm not doing a whole lot of waiting around for weeks while everything gets handled. I live in Peoria, IL. In an related (but optional) question, how does a 2004 Chevrolet Malibu LS Sedan sound? Reliable or no?""

How much does it cost to replace an in-dash navigation system and does insurance cover it?

So here's the story. I was driving in my 2012 Honda Civic today and got angry and punched my navigation system (I know. It was unbelievably stupid. I know.) Anyway, the screen is shattered now, but the system still works. I called up a Honda dealer who said it would cost $3600 not including parts and labor. When I search online, the navigation systems seems to cost between $250 and $700. So what I want to know is, how much should I expect to pay to get this fixed. How long does it take? Will my insurance cover it? If my insurance covers it, will my rates change? Is the dealer the best way to get it fixed? I'm also under my warranty still, is there any way this is covered in my warranty?""

Multiple Car Insurance On One Vehicle?

Is is possible to have two insurance policies on one vehicle? The reason being is, current insurance (lets call it A) is way too expensive. To leave the A insurance I would be charged 500$, seems like a lot. New policy (lets call it B) would be much cheaper then A. If I have A for theft and fire + B (full coverage) it would still be cheaper then A full coverage! Is that legal????""

Car insurance question...?

-I'm 15 going on 16 and I have an insurance question. Should there be a need for my name to be on my parents insurance on our car if the car itself is already insured? -Is it ok for your car to be insured without you being insured? Because its kind of

If someone threw rocks at your car and insurance paid for it would your rates go up?

Trying to put vandalism in the insurance line of Nature > Your fault. If anybody wonders nobody threw rocks at me..

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Ow much will my insurance be roughly on a brand new BMW 114i 25K, I'm 17 yrs old and I think this car is a 1.6l, please tell me how much the insurance will be for me, I need a price with and without my parents added to the policy, my address is 2, bd8 0bw. 2012 plate 3/5 door hatchback Petrol""

Negotiating a car insurance claim?

Long story short, consensus feel that my car (hit by an uninsured Crown Victoria) is going to be considered a total loss tomorrow when the adjuster checks it out. My main concern is, if I feel I am offered an unfair amount for my car, what would be a good way to negotiate with them? And what do they use to base their offer on? I've already checked Autotrader and other sites for a replacement for my car, and this model is very sparse (5 total within 500 miles, only searching by year and model/trim), only being sold by dealerships that want a LOT more than I paid for the car a year ago. Can I cite those examples, or do I have to use something like KBB or NADA appraisals? I've never had to make a claim with an insurance company before, and the only thing I know is the reputation of insurance companies.""

Best home Insurance in Texas?

I'm a first time homer buyer and I'm about to gets quotes for home insurance and I was wondering what are some of the best and affordable companies to go with????

""Do you have to have insurance if you don't have a car, just a license?

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Where is the best place to buy cheaper home insurance for the over 50s?

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im a female, I just passed my test and i have 5000 pounds to spend on a car. I want to buy a convertible ford street ka. How much would that be on insurance roughly? thanks""

Roughly how much would it cost to replace a quarter panel on my 95 camaro?

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Do insurance rates vary on the type or model of car?

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""In California, are you required to have health insurance for your child if your job offers family insurance?""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-want-buy-s10-insurance-high-new-driver-beland-rajka"

[megadarkbouquettidalwavethings]

Here Come the Fake Videos, Too

The scene opened on a room with a red sofa, a potted plant and the kind of bland modern art you’d see on a therapist’s wall.

In the room was Michelle Obama, or someone who looked exactly like her. Wearing a low-cut top with a black bra visible underneath, she writhed lustily for the camera and flashed her unmistakable smile.

Then, the former first lady’s doppelgänger began to strip.

The video, which appeared on the online forum Reddit, was what’s known as a “deepfake” — an ultrarealistic fake video made with artificial intelligence software. It was created using a program called FakeApp, which superimposed Mrs. Obama’s face onto the body of a pornographic film actress. The hybrid was uncanny — if you didn’t know better, you might have thought it was really her.

Until recently, realistic computer-generated video was a laborious pursuit available only to big-budget Hollywood productions or cutting-edge researchers. Social media apps like Snapchat include some rudimentary face-morphing technology.

But in recent months, a community of hobbyists has begun experimenting with more powerful tools, including FakeApp — a program that was built by an anonymous developer using open-source software written by Google. FakeApp makes it free and relatively easy to create realistic face swaps and leave few traces of manipulation. Since a version of the app appeared on Reddit in January, it has been downloaded more than 120,000 times, according to its creator.

Deepfakes are one of the newest forms of digital media manipulation, and one of the most obviously mischief-prone. It’s not hard to imagine this technology’s being used to smear politicians, create counterfeit revenge porn or frame people for crimes. Lawmakers have already begun to worry about how deepfakes could be used for political sabotage and propaganda.

Even on morally lax sites like Reddit, deepfakes have raised eyebrows. Recently, FakeApp set off a panic after Motherboard, the technology site, reported that people were using it to create pornographic deepfakes of celebrities. Pornhub, Twitter and other sites quickly banned the videos, and Reddit closed a handful of deepfake groups, including one with nearly 100,000 members.

Before the Reddit deepfake groups were closed, they hosted a mixture of users trading video-editing tips and showing off their latest forgeries. A post titled “3D face reconstruction for additional angles” sat next to videos with titles like “(Not) Olivia Wilde playing with herself.”

Some users on Reddit defended deepfakes and blamed the media for overhyping their potential for harm. Others moved their videos to alternative platforms, rightly anticipating that Reddit would crack down under its rules against nonconsensual pornography. And a few expressed moral qualms about putting the technology into the world.

Then, they kept making more.

The deepfake creator community is now in the internet’s shadows. But while out in the open, it gave an unsettling peek into the future.

“This is turning into an episode of Black Mirror,” wrote one Reddit user. The post raised the ontological questions at the heart of the deepfake debate: Does a naked image of Person A become a naked image of Person B if Person B’s face is superimposed in a seamless and untraceable way? In a broader sense, on the internet, what is the difference between representation and reality?

The user then signed off with a shrug: “Godspeed rebels.”

Making Deepfakes

After lurking for several weeks in Reddit’s deepfake community, I decided to see how easy it was to create a (safe for work, nonpornographic) deepfake using my own face.

I started by downloading FakeApp and enlisting two technical experts to help me. The first was Mark McKeague, a colleague in The New York Times’s research and development department. The second was a deepfake creator I found through Reddit, who goes by the nickname Derpfakes.

Because of the controversial nature of deepfakes, Derpfakes would not give his or her real name. Derpfakes started posting deepfake videos on YouTube a few weeks ago, specializing in humorous offerings like Nicolas Cage playing Superman. The account has also posted some how-to videos on deepfake creation.

What I learned is that making a deepfake isn’t simple. But it’s not rocket science, either.

The first step is to find, or rent, a moderately powerful computer. FakeApp uses a suite of machine learning tools called TensorFlow, which was developed by Google’s A.I. division and released to the public in 2015. The software teaches itself to perform image-recognition tasks through trial and error. The more processing power on hand, the faster it works.

To get more speed, Mark and I used a remote server rented through Google Cloud Platform. It provided enough processing power to cut the time frame down to hours, rather than the days or weeks it might take on my laptop.

Once Mark set up the remote server and loaded FakeApp on it, we were on to the next step: data collection.

Picking the right source data is crucial. Short video clips are easier to manipulate than long clips, and scenes shot at a single angle produce better results than scenes with multiple angles. Genetics also help. The more the faces resemble each other, the better.

I’m a brown-haired white man with a short beard, so Mark and I decided to try several other brown-haired, stubbled white guys. We started with Ryan Gosling. (Aim high, right?) I also sent Derpfakes, my outsourced Reddit expert, several video options to choose from.

Next, we took several hundred photos of my face, and gathered images of Mr. Gosling’s face using a clip from a recent TV appearance. FakeApp uses these images to train the deep learning model and teach it to emulate our facial expressions.

To get the broadest photo set possible, I twisted my head at different angles, making as many different faces as I could.

Mark then used a program to crop those images down, isolating just our faces, and manually deleted any blurred or badly cropped photos. He then fed the frames into FakeApp. In all, we used 417 photos of me, and 1,113 of Mr. Gosling.

When the images were ready, Mark pressed “start” on FakeApp, and the training began. His computer screen filled with images of my face and Mr. Gosling’s face, as the program tried to identify patterns and similarities.

About eight hours later, after our model had been sufficiently trained, Mark used FakeApp to finish putting my face on Mr. Gosling’s body. The video was blurry and bizarre, and Mr. Gosling’s face occasionally flickered into view. Only the legally blind would mistake the person in the video for me.

We did better with a clip of Chris Pratt, the scruffy star of “Jurassic World,” whose face shape is a little more similar to mine. For this test, Mark used a bigger data set — 1,861 photos of me, 1,023 of him — and let the model run overnight.

A few days later, Derpfakes, who had also been training a model, sent me a finished deepfake made using the footage I had sent and a video of the actor Jake Gyllenhaal. This one was much more lifelike, a true hybrid that mixed my facial features with his hair, beard and body.

Derpfakes repeated the process with videos of Jimmy Kimmel and Liev Schreiber, both of which turned out well. As an experienced deepfake creator, Derpfakes had a more intuitive sense of which source videos would produce a clean result, and more experience with the subtle blending and tweaking that takes place at the end of the deepfake process.

In all, our deepfake experiment took three days and cost $85.96 in Google Cloud Platform credits. That seemed like a small price to pay for stardom.

What the App’s Creator Says

After the experiment, I reached out to the anonymous creator of FakeApp through an email address on its website. I wanted to know how it felt to create a cutting-edge A.I. tool, only to have it gleefully co-opted by ethically challenged pornographers.

A man wrote back, identifying himself as a software developer in Maryland. Like Derpfakes, the man would not give me his full name, and instead went by his first initial, N. He said he had created FakeApp as a creative experiment and was chagrined to see Reddit’s deepfake community use it for ill.

“I joined the community based around these algorithms when it was very small (less than 500 people),” he wrote, “and as soon as I saw the results I knew this was brilliant tech that should be accessible to anyone who wants to play around with it. I figured I’d take a shot at putting together an easy-to-use package to accomplish that.”

N. said he didn’t support the use of FakeApp to create nonconsensual pornography or other abusive content. And he said he agreed with Reddit’s decision to ban explicit deepfakes. But he defended the product.

“I’ve given it a lot of thought,” he said, “and ultimately I’ve decided I don’t think it’s right to condemn the technology itself — which can of course be used for many purposes, good and bad.”

FakeApp is somewhat finicky and hard to use, but it’s easy to imagine it improving quickly. N. said that in the future, FakeApp could be used by all kinds of people to bring high-budget special effects to their personal projects.

Deep learning algorithms, he added, were going to be important in the future, not only as stand-alone apps but as powerful components of many tech products.

“It’s precisely the things that make them so powerful and useful that make them so scary,” he said. “There’s really no limit to what you can apply it to with a little imagination.”

‘Next Form of Communication’

On the day of the school shooting last month in Parkland, Fla., a screenshot of a BuzzFeed News article, “Why We Need to Take Away White People’s Guns Now More Than Ever,” written by a reporter named Richie Horowitz, began making the rounds on social media.

The whole thing was fake. No BuzzFeed employee named Richie Horowitz exists, and no article with that title was ever published on the site. But the doctored image pulsed through right-wing outrage channels and was boosted by activists on Twitter. It wasn’t an A.I.-generated deepfake, or even a particularly sophisticated Photoshop job, but it did the trick.

Online misinformation, no matter how sleekly produced, spreads through a familiar process once it enters our social distribution channels. The hoax gets 50,000 shares, and the debunking an hour later gets 200. The carnival barker gets an algorithmic boost on services like Facebook and YouTube, while the expert screams into the void.

There’s no reason to believe that deepfake videos will operate any differently. People will share them when they’re ideologically convenient and dismiss them when they’re not. The dupes who fall for satirical stories from The Onion will be fooled by deepfakes, and the scrupulous people who care about the truth will find ways to detect and debunk them.

“There’s no choice,” said Hao Li, an assistant professor of computer science at the University of Southern California. Mr. Li, who is also the founder of Pinscreen, a company that uses artificial intelligence to create lifelike 3-D avatars, said the weaponization of A.I. was inevitable and would require a sudden shift in public awareness.

“I see this as the next form of communication,” he said. “I worry that people will use it to blackmail others, or do bad things. You have to educate people that this is possible.”

So, O.K. Here I am, telling you this: An A.I. program powerful enough to turn Michelle Obama into a pornography star, or transform a schlubby newspaper columnist into Jake Gyllenhaal, is in our midst. Manipulated video will soon become far more commonplace.

And there’s probably nothing we can do except try to bat the fakes down as they happen, pressure social media companies to fight misinformation aggressively, and trust our eyes a little less every day.

Godspeed, rebels.

Kevin Roose is a columnist for Business Day and a writer-at-large for The New York Times Magazine. His column, “The Shift,” examines the intersection of technology, business, and culture. @kevinrooseFacebook

A version of this article appears in print on , on Page A1 of the New York edition with the headline: It Was Only a Matter of Time: Here Comes an App for Fake Videos. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

KEVIN ROOSE

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